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Feeling overwhelmed by your family's daily grind and looking for a way out? Welcome to "Dig the Well," the podcast that empowers you to build the life you deserve. Your hosts Vikki and John are top earners at Neora. Vikki is a # 1 best-selling author and John is a retired Los Angeles Police Officer. Together they’ve navigated family challenges, raised successful kids, and achieved financial freedom.
In each episode of "Dig the Well," they dive deep into the strategies and mindsets that can help you break free from the constraints of the traditional 9-5 lifestyle. They understand the unique challenges faced by stay-at-home moms and families who are juggling multiple responsibilities and struggling to find balance. Their mission is to provide you with the tools and inspiration you need to create additional income, gain more family time, and ultimately, transform your life.
Throughout their journey, they’ve had the privilege of working with renowned figures like Jack Canfield and Jeff Olson, whose wisdom and insights have greatly influenced their path to success. They’ve also celebrated significant milestones, such as raising two valedictorian children and supporting their son, an Olympic weightlifter on Team USA. These experiences have equipped them with valuable knowledge and practical tips that they’re eager to share with you.
"Dig the Well" is more than just a podcast; it's a community of like-minded individuals who are committed to personal growth and financial independence. Whether you're worried about your family's financial security, longing for more quality time with your spouse, or simply seeking a way to reignite your passions, this podcast offers actionable insights and real-life stories that can help you achieve your goals.
Our mission is to inspire you with the belief that if we can do it, so can you. We want you to feel empowered, educated, and ready to take control of your future. By tuning in to "Dig the Well," you'll gain the confidence and knowledge needed to break free from the daily grind and create a life full of possibilities.
So, if you're ready to transform your family's future and discover the greatness within you, join us on this journey. Subscribe to "Dig the Well" and start building the life you deserve today!
This is the EWN Podcast Network.
John:Ever wondered how you could turn your side hustle into a full time gig and spend more time together?
Vikki:Hi. I'm ViKki, a number one best selling author.
John:And I'm John, a retired Los Angeles police officer. Welcome to dig the well, where we help couples navigate the world of business.
Vikki:We've been married for thirty five years, and because we built a successful side business, John retired nine years earlier than he originally planned from the Los Angeles Police Department after twenty five years on the job. Now we spend more time together, and we want to help couples like you do the same.
John:Join us as we help you overcome common obstacles, and we show you how to make extra income without sacrificing family time.
Vikki:Ready to dig deep and build your well? Let's get started. Hey, friends. It's Vicky, and welcome back to dig the well podcast where we talk faith, family, and finding a way no matter what life throws at you. Today's episode is a different one.
Vikki:It's gonna be a little different and it's deeply, deeply personal. I'm sharing an interview I did with Gina Meyer Vincent, host of Exquisitely Aligned podcast. This episode is titled a policewife with Vicki Downey. Yours truly. And the episode is something really, really special.
Vikki:It was right when my book was launching and later became a number one bestseller, and we were chatting about that and so many other things on this podcast. I open up a lot deeper about what it's really like being married to a police officer, the sleepless nights, the strength it takes to keep the family grounded, when he's not home, and how I found my voice in the middle of it all. Because you know what? We wives, we women still have our own voice, that's for sure. I found it very interesting that Gina, being married to a physician, she and I had a ton of things in common, a ton of things with especially with the schedule, not so much the safety matters, but the schedule, I don't want to say overtime for physicians, but definitely being on call, which is what police officers basically are 20 fourseven.
Vikki:You never know when he might be have a mandatory
Vikki:deployment where they're like, come
Vikki:on in. So there was so much of that and raising kids in that environment. It was just really beautiful. So if you're not a police wife or military or first responder, I think you're still gonna find a lot, that you find similarities to. And I really wanna give us all a voice.
Vikki:Gina did such a beautiful job. She has a gift of drawing out the deeper parts of my story. And I think this conversation will speak to anyone, who's ever held down the fort at home, you know, even just any any time, right, when you're feeling like the spouse works a ton, isn't home, and you've gotta gotta carry the load a lot of the time. So settle in, grab your coffee. I was gonna hold up my coffee, but I left it in another room.
Vikki:Grab your coffee, your favorite drink, sit back, relax. You're about to hear the heart behind why I do what I do.
Gina:Welcome back to Exquisitely Aligned. I'm Gina Meyer Vincent, your host and your personal soul shifter. I'm here to help you define and design the destiny you desire and deserve, The one where essentially you become exactly what the world is missing. And today, my guest has done exactly that. I'm delighted to introduce you to Vicki Downey.
Gina:She is the number one best selling author with a rich background in education, entrepreneurship, and mentorship, has dedicated her life to empowering police families. Overcoming the challenges of being a police wife, she, alongside her husband, John, helps first responder spouses achieve financial independence and early retirement through online business ventures. So there are so many words in here that are juicy. Right? Early retirements.
Gina:On and on. So, Vicky, I am so happy to share this time and the mic with you today. Thank you for joining me.
Vikki:Aw. Thank you, Gina. I am super excited to be with you.
Gina:And so there's many things we had a short meeting prior to today to discuss a few things we could talk about. And I think during that time, I left and I went, I think we may have to have more than one episode. There are so many things we share in common. Really, it's fun and fascinating when you get to connect with someone like yourself that you find similarities. And, I love giving voices to things where we may have been in a situation that was not the most comfortable.
Gina:And we were able to find ways to stretch our mindset or turn our chin a little bit so that we can see things differently. I like to say we shift our paradigm, and I know you had to do that because I've said already that you're a, should I say, a retired police officer's wife. And I know what that comes first. I wanna say thank you to him, to John, and thank you to you and your children for allowing him to have the career he has chose and to keep my family and friends safe. So that comes from the bottom of my heart.
Gina:It makes me cry as I say it because I just know the depth of what's involved and what you and your children and maybe if you have family as well, have given up in order for the those of us to remain safe. So I just wanna start there. And if you could give a voice to what what were some of those things and some
Vikki:of those things of the people you're currently helping who are still employed in that career. Yeah. Well, thank you. First and foremost, I think I know speaking on behalf of of, first responder, police wise, military, you know, and especially police, I just have to say. They don't get thanked enough because they are the frontline in The United States daily for everyone's safety.
Vikki:So I so appreciate you saying thank you. And, you know, we truly are my husband and I, now that he is retired from the Los Angeles Police Department, big city, big crime. Yeah. Really big hit. Numbers in the wrong direction.
Vikki:Right? Yeah. Exactly. And, you know, we we're we're on a mission now to help other police families, singles, you know, couples, singles, just live, really the most spectacular life possible. It totally reminds me of what you do.
Vikki:Coming exquisitely aligned with their calling because Yeah. You know, most police officers become police officers because it's a calling. And a lot of times, the wives just follow along. They don't need the choice. But then there's plenty that there's you know, both husband and wife are police officers.
Vikki:So wow. Talk about Right. Pretty amazing. But, yeah, we're on a mission really to help empower police families. Really during COVID is when I realized I need to speak out.
Vikki:Mhmm. Truly, yeah, when all the craziness was happening, I'm sure we all remember during the shutdown, especially at the beginning, there was so much increased hate on police. And yet, like you said, they're protect protecting us day in and day out. Right. And we wives have always just sat back.
Vikki:We prayed for our husbands. Of course. Pride when it's been a horrible day. We've been scared, you know, all the things. Mhmm.
Vikki:But I finally decided now is the time to speak up and stand up for police families that really across The United States and the globe and kind of educate people a little bit on what goes on behind the scenes. So, yeah, we are on a mission. And so do
Gina:you wanna give so I'll just, not that my husband's career is anything similar, but I know when we spoke briefly, I'll just since not everybody was listening in on that conversation, share, you know, marrying at the time a family practice doctor who was in North Carolina allowed to deliver babies. That's not the case where he trained in Florida. That's why he left. But, so it was cradle to the grave, and that meant twenty four seven. Right.
Gina:Being called in, etcetera. That was back when we had he had a pager, and then he had to call the number. And, yes, I I am I we are that old. Yeah.
Vikki:We are. He's six years old.
Gina:And I didn't mean you. I meant we, my husband and
Vikki:I. But we are. But
Gina:it was hard for me because I didn't grow up with anybody who I knew was a doctor. I didn't know any parents that were doctors. So, it was interesting and fascinating. Like, okay. I see.
Gina:We have to plan our vacations nearly a year in advance so that we get the time off that he would like. That was fascinating to me. It was a little difficult, but yet I was a planner because I was a department store buyer buying product nine months out. And then, you know, getting used to the fact that he may be called away because back then he had call when we were trying to do something lovely, whether it be celebrate somebody's birthday or someone in our family or whatever, you know, it could have been attending mass. I mean, it it just it didn't matter.
Gina:Right? And so I'm thinking your story is probably a thousand fold, if not 5,000 fold. So if you don't mind, you know, sharing whatever you feel comfortable of, what did that look like for you as a young mom, as a newlywed, you know, as your kids are growing up and they're active? You know? Any bits and pieces you'd love to share?
Gina:Because I understand for sure the praying, crying, scared most definitely.
Vikki:Yeah. Yeah. We do have so much in common. I mean, know, a doctor has those same long hours and unexpected we call it overtime. You know?
Vikki:But Yeah. I like I like that. I like that. But it it would always be a late arrest, longer reports to write, unexpected arrest. You know?
Vikki:And and and like you said, many vacations, we same thing. In a police department, you have to plan regarding deployment periods. And so Oh. Very much military style, at least that's all the Los Angeles Police Department is. Yeah.
Vikki:And so out of the blue, he would text me, and say, hey. I need my vacation days for the next year, and we hadn't even discussed it. But sometimes would just surprise them on it. I'm like, gee. Thanks.
Vikki:And, you know, I've got little kids, and I'm looking at the calendar. I don't know. And, and and so you don't get always get your days off because of seniority. Right. Oh, not trying to compare the two, but a doctor No.
Vikki:No. Like yeah. Yeah. If it's his own practice, he could set his vacation time. Yes.
Vikki:Something might come up and, squash that or make you change it. But, with him, when you're early police wife early on in a department, you are low man on the totem pole. I remember Thanksgivings, New Year's Eve, Christmas. Yeah. And one thing a lot of officers do as time goes on is they get more seniority, and our kids started to grow up, John would get would work Christmas day or Mhmm.
Vikki:Thanksgiving so that another younger officer could be home with his family. Mhmm. But it doesn't always work out. Yeah. There's mandatory deployment.
Vikki:You could have a vacation set, and then something comes up, and sorry, everybody. Mandatory deployment and all vacations are gone, basically. And very much you feel like a divorcee. I don't know. Yeah.
Vikki:Do you do you feel that way too? Sometimes going to Well, he is sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Gina:He so I'll just back up. So Mark was not in his own practice. He was in a large group, and it was a little bit similar. It was more like whoever got their days in first were were more likely to get it. So I learned very quickly a vote early, you know, request early.
Gina:And then, what was the part you just asked me? Because it's a little different. Oh, I know. I was gonna say he's left full time practice, and now he does life insurance medicine for one of the two. Yeah.
Gina:Life insurance where he still gets to teach. He doesn't have residence, but he's still teaching, and doing the things that he loves and using and he's still he's always double double board certified now, to practice both. But yeah. Did I feel like a divorcee? So, yes, there were some times where it's like, yeah.
Gina:I know I told you, you know, Vicky. Hi, John and Vicky. Thank you for having me for dinner. Sorry. Mark just Mark's in the car trying to figure out if he's, like, dropping me here and running to the hospital.
Vikki:Yeah.
Gina:Yeah. It was Yeah. It was asking people to be if if they wouldn't mind us, you know, being flexible with us. And, most people were forgiving and flexible, but it did feel awkward when you were thinking it was a double date, and all of a sudden, you're the third wheel. You know?
Gina:Yeah. So I can completely understand. But, again, I was fortunate that he changed careers about ten years ago. Well, actually, no. It's more than that.
Gina:So it's probably thirteen or fourteen years ago. Nice.
Vikki:So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Same same thing. I just remember we were diligent about going to church when the kids were little, and then his his assignment changed, and now he couldn't go.
Vikki:And I would go, but I felt Was it was sneaky? Yeah. I felt eyes on me. You know? Just people thinking I was, oh, this poor divorced mom of these two cute kids.
Vikki:You know, and you get picked up on, which that feels I mean, I'm sure it's a compliment, but you don't, you know, you know where your husband is. And it's like, I'm married. Leave me alone. So it's like, the holy things like that, but it's not silly because then I would go home and be very sad that Right. I'm home alone again.
Vikki:Right? But you can't wallow in it. It doesn't help the matter at all. So you try to find hobbies and things like that, but it really truly has to be your idea. Yes.
Vikki:A fun funny story. I felt I think I was hanging on John too much early on in his career. I was like, when are you gonna be home? When can we
Vikki:do this? What about this?
Vikki:What about that? And he finally turned me, and he said, can you just get a hobby? And, believe me, I was incredibly busy. Yeah. As a as a wife, you get that.
Vikki:It infuriated it me. I thought I was thinking, you know,
Gina:you what what my comeback would have been if I was prepared for that would have been like, no. But I can get a boyfriend. You know? Exactly.
Vikki:Hold on. Yeah. I always wanted a tango dance. Let me see if I could find a man to tango dance with you guys. So it's okay if we choose the hobbies, but don't tell me to find a hobby.
Vikki:So, yeah, it's it's interesting. Thank goodness I never had any family members say that. It was just my husband, and I, you know, just desperately wanted to see him more. But it's amazing how much inner work you have to do in, you know, first responder, all of these types of shifts, shift work or, you know, like a doctor's life, which I guess doctors are first responders big time. Yeah.
Vikki:I mean, mean, yeah.
Gina:Yeah. And it's it the the inner work so you mentioned the word alone. That's something I like to give a voice to you all the time because you can be with a lot of people and feel alone. You could be by yourself and not feel alone. And so, you know, I have found that there were times in my life where I was expressing a desire for more.
Gina:At the time, I didn't know what that more was. For me, it was not check boxes. I had the things I set out desired for, let's say, when I was graduating college and I sat and I dreamt, what would I like in my next x amount of years? You know? Of course, it didn't happen that quickly, but I had all the things I had hoped for and expressing, you know, heartfelt desires that I had without being able to explain what is this.
Gina:I feel like I'm missing something. I was judged, and I felt very much alone. Did that happen with you? I mean, beyond the feeling of he's not home. I'm alone with the kids.
Gina:Were there ever moments where with your feelings,
Vikki:your thoughts about what this is like, this lifestyle, let's say? Yeah. Very much. Very much I felt alone. And, you know, you marry and he started to become a police officer.
Vikki:He was hired on five years into our marriage. Actually, five years. And we had two little kids, four and five at the time. And I just remember think yeah. And I thought, well, this is the life.
Vikki:You know? Marry the man of my dreams, and then he's never home. I never get to see him. And so I very much felt alone very much. Thank goodness I had the kids actually, though.
Vikki:They filled me with joy. You know? We were all three of us sad if he wasn't home. At times, we were trying to cover that up with fun things to do and books to read and, you know, videos to watch back then, trying to find good ones for little kids.
Gina:Yeah. Did you so, I think now you don't currently live in LA County. At the time, did you live in LA County? Because I'm thinking it was a commute as well. So there was not only the long shift with the possibility of, I love what you said, unexpected over time, and
Vikki:then a commute. Is is that right? Yes. So, what that's another thing that a lot of people don't understand in big police departments is that you never wanna live within the city limits of that big police department. I was I understand that.
Gina:So as I I as I was brushing my teeth, that was coming to my mind, and I'm talking at, you know, what time is it now? 10:30. At three and a half hours ago, I was thinking that thought of speaking to you about that. And then I thought, no. I won't bring that up.
Gina:So it's funny you should bring bring that up, but speak to that because I had a friend of a friend, a roommate of a guy I dated. He was a police officer in Charlotte, and he very much chose not to spend any time in the for safety reasons. He did this. Exactly. Okay.
Gina:So so I'll stop there. Speak to that because I think that that was so enlightening to me as a 20 year old where I was like, oh my gosh. You know? You won't mind. Yeah.
Gina:Yeah. Absolute.
Vikki:And I think it's what most people don't know, and I didn't really realize it either until he started telling me for safety reasons, Vic, I am not you know, we're live in this even the same county. So we're in we're not in the same county. And so the commute time, it's like you said, talk about the long hours, potential overtime, and then a long commute home. It's not twenty minutes. It's not fifteen minutes.
Vikki:It's an hour or more, especially in the Los Angeles area. And but the safety is the main thing. You know, him being LAPD, we too would he would say, hey. Turn on the news. I'm on scene at channel sevens here.
Vikki:They're probably showing what what I'm what the the current situation. And, and so
Gina:And we're not we're not receiving an award. It's because we're here
Vikki:at a crime scene. You know? Something dangerous. Exactly. It's all it's dangerous.
Vikki:And so I was also actually, most police wives are taught from early on about safety. Do not tell people that your husband is a police officer. Don't talk about it loudly in a room anywhere. And I know that's something like, a lot of people think, well, why wouldn't you? I love police officers.
Vikki:Well, honestly, good people do. Good upstanding people do.
Gina:Right? And the other thing you're missing is that can make you feel very much alone, and nobody can say the thank you that I said to you in the beginning if they don't know. So you have two things happening. Yes. You're well, in the realm of being protecting of yourself, your children, your spouse, you're you're being more alone because people you're not allowed to speak about what your lifestyle is like.
Gina:You can't commiserate. And there's a possibility that there's a police wife standing or police husband, let's say, or police daughter standing right beside you. You know? So it's that's another way of making people feel alone. And Yeah.
Gina:Very good point. Very good. You know what?
Vikki:I hadn't really thought about it that way, but that's exactly the the challenge. Things I see, Vicky. This is what I
Gina:this is my I'm a seer. I I see how the missing links of why people end up feeling, and it it just it breaks my heart because I believe community is to you know, when they say it takes a village to raise a child, I do believe it does. I think it takes a village to keep a marriage together to keep a woman from going insane, you know, being married to a man. No. I'm teasing.
Gina:But, you know, if here you're it's that is a way of keeping the support. You know? It's like cutting it through. It's I understand the protection, but at the same time, somebody can't say to you, hey. Thank you for allowing your husband to do the work he does.
Gina:Please thank him. Thank your kids because I realize there are things you're giving up to keep my family safe and eating dinner together at night while you may not be eating dinner. And I appreciate that.
Vikki:And, honestly, we don't need the thank you. I mean, it is very nice, and probably the women need do appreciate it. Not that the men don't, but it is the aloneness. I think you hit the nail on the head that I didn't have anyone to talk. Talk.
Vikki:I didn't have any fellow policewives that I knew that lived near me. His partner's wives were on the other side of Los Angeles. And so I had no one to talk to about it, and I'm told to be quiet. Don't tell anybody. Right.
Vikki:And, of course, our close friends knew, but, it is very isolating. It's such a good point. And thank God for social media now because that's really why I chose to come out of the closet, if you will. But I had to ask John, is that okay with you? Not that I not Right.
Vikki:No. You know, do it on whether he says yes or no. I have my own mind, but I really we're a couple. And, you know, when we got married, we became one. I do believe that.
Vikki:And so I wanted to make sure he was okay with it for safety specifically. And Yeah. He said, well, enough people know now.
Gina:Well, I'm gonna give you an example. It's a little different, but when my husband was in kidney and liver failure, first, was in kidney failure, and it was supposed to be a very simple thing. I was approved after eight weeks of torture physically, mentally, emotionally, of proving that I was healthy mind, body, and spirit. I was approved to give him my right kidney, and things went wrong. Then he went into liver failure.
Gina:So at any rate, he was like, as a man, don't tell anybody I'm sick. But look. You you're like, your liver is eating all your muscles. You are losing weight. I'm gaining weight as we're sleeping.
Gina:I think I just, you know, like, I was backing on the pounds. He was losing it. And it's very funny how when you are connected, when you are one as a couple for ten years at that point, you know, we we trade things. Okay. You're losing
Vikki:the weight. Hold it. I'll hold it for you here and here and here and here all below all below the belt. But
Gina:what was my point now? Because I'm making myself laugh thinking about it and thankful that I'm not there anymore. But he didn't want me to tell anybody. And I was like, I am going through this as well, and our young children are going through this. And I finally said to him, listen.
Gina:I need prayers just as much as you do, and the kids do too. So I am telling everybody. And I think when we're able to speak up and give a voice and allow other people to come out of the woodwork, which I think you were alluding to, now that you're able to, especially now that he is safe. Right? Free of wearing the uniform and free of being in those positions every single day, minute after minute, but, you allow you're allowing strangers to come up to you and and say, hey.
Gina:Thank you. You know, I feel the same. And I think you you being that person to make that impact and empower them to give give a voice as well or or at least feel part of a community. Yeah. Definitely.
Gina:Definitely. So it feels really good to help other policewives know they're not alone. Yeah. Honestly, because that is the alone that keeps popping out at me. Yeah.
Vikki:That's what you do. You feel so alone. So it's really nice. And he still is, a reserve officer. So he still goes in and still is in danger on the days he goes in and and not getting paid for it.
Vikki:It's kind of funny. Right. Yeah. It's kind of funny, but it's a way that he could stay connected because it was part of his life for twenty five years. Yeah.
Vikki:Yeah.
Gina:And I think it's probably a part of his heart too. Right? It becomes part of your personality, your drive, your prop like you used the word earlier calling, which I'm a big fan of people living living in living their calling, fulfilling their legacy Yeah. Or their destiny, however you wanna look at it. But Yeah.
Gina:So I know you've written a book. Do you wanna tell us
Vikki:a bit about your book? Yeah. That's that'd be nice. Yeah. So here it is.
Vikki:Yay. Yes. It's called your amazing itty bitty police wife survival guide. And it really I wrote it like I mentioned for fellow policewives, and it's only 15 chapters. It is itty bitty.
Vikki:And I wrote it for that reason, to be small, concise, to the point on my top tips of surviving, but also thriving as a policewife from getting hired on all the way through retirement and live living your dream even while, you know, you're in the thick of it, having those aspects of your dream life, while you're living in the thick of it all and then, planning for retirement. So I feel like I'm I'm at that place where I can really mentor other police wives, because I've been through it all. And even after retirement, he's still a police officer. Like, I still call myself a police wife because it's it changes them, I think, for the good, but it just we're always observant. We go to restaurants.
Vikki:We're, like, standing. You just can't not. Where he sits, he he faces the door. Right. You know, that's one tip that I could give friends of police officers.
Vikki:If you're you know you're out with your buddy, let him choose a seat first. We go with friends all the time. They grab the seat that John really needs. You'll have peace and have have view of the door in case something goes down, and they always grab that seat. So that would be nice if you could do that.
Vikki:But it's just, yeah, it's an amazing life, but it never leaves you. Like, I will always be a policewife. He usually even in the state of California, he usually has a weapon on him, because he needs to protect our family. Just he just knows the evil that's out there, and I don't wanna go dark on this, but there are lots of great people, mostly great people in this world, but the the evil that's out there is horrible. So he so we're yeah.
Vikki:So it's kinda, like, never leaves us. And even when he's not with me, yesterday, was with a bunch of girlfriends, and we saw a guy come into a restaurant, and I was watching him. And I said, guys, hold on a second. I said, we gotta watch this guy. And he looked like he was up to no good.
Vikki:And so anyway but it's because John's really taught me and our kids to be very, very observant of your surroundings. So
Gina:Yeah.
Vikki:I would give that advice to anyone. Don't be complacent. Don't be on your phones, you know, crossing the street. Doesn't that kill you, Gino, when you see someone Yes. Stopping the street and they're on their And
Gina:they walk right into traffic and you're like You know? So I don't well, I think I did mention to you, but I went to college in Manhattan. I studied at Fashion Institute of Technology, and that was very much you I knew who was behind me, how long they had been behind me, and then when to cross the street to see if they're still behind me.
Vikki:Yes. You
Gina:know, hiding jewelry, turning things around, how to carry your purse, where to put the wallet, you know, all these. Of course, I had short hair back then as well, so my my earrings were always exposed. Well, no. I take that back because there were plenty of times where I had earmuffs, two scars. You know?
Gina:So and my and my, collar of my coat up. So not always, but my ears were often exposed. I always wore earrings because, you know, I felt naked with without having hair here. And so my neck would be my necklaces would be exposed as well. But it really now being a mother of a son who's six foot four and living in LA at USC and having a daughter in the next couple weeks decide where she will be going to school.
Gina:And she's only four foot ten. She's finished growing. So I have two extremes. Yeah. And she said, oh, maybe I'll go to USC.
Gina:I was like, yeah. No. You're four foot ten. I already know what what trouble your brother had with a bullet coming through the window where he was living. Thankfully, he wasn't home.
Gina:Like, all these different things, and and I'm fortunate Yeah. That my kids have lived a bit of a sheltered life. My son now is very eye open to LA and its surroundings, And it doesn't matter that he's six foot four. I say his size because, yes, that could be intimidating at first glance. But if somebody is if somebody wants something that you have, that it doesn't matter your size.
Gina:Yeah. In my opinion. But Yeah. You know, it is it is fascinating that you brought that up. And I'm sure you also know that it's natural instinct for humans and animals to want to see the exit.
Gina:Always. That is Right. Right. Just even if the person doesn't even know why they want that seat Right. It's it's you know, I once was teaching yoga in a brand new studio, and I wanted them to see out the window because it was beautiful, the view.
Gina:And one of my regulars came in and she said, I cannot, like, close my eyes and meditate and practice yoga with the door behind me. I need to be able to see the door. We had two doors and, you know, so I was like, okay. We will not be having class this direction anymore. You know, I'm not looking to have a promote anxiety while while you're here for yoga class.
Gina:But Right. Yeah. It was just so funny because she was just like, you know, you could see her, like, twitching.
Vikki:Yeah. Just agitated. Yeah. Yeah.
Gina:Yeah. We hear that with a lot
Vikki:of men that we go out with. The husbands as well. I need to see the door too. Yeah. Yeah.
Vikki:For sure. So then they don't fight over it. They all kind of just decide, but it is funny. Yeah. But I hadn't heard of a woman.
Vikki:That's that's crazy. Yeah.
Gina:Yeah. And I always sit facing where I can see My husband the whole family knows that I am you know? And I am also the one we were on a vacation and in Mexico at a lovely resort. It had nothing to do with the resort, but I was like, that's a gunshot. Get the kids now.
Gina:Let's go in that building. And my husband's like, no. That was somebody with a noodle, you know, the pool noodles slapping the water. So there was another sound, and everyone went like this. And it was it was three gunshots on the beach between two people who were selling, like, cigars and whatever.
Gina:They were not I think they shot up into the air, but it doesn't matter. And my husband was very slow moving, and we had a huge argument because I and the kids were like, dad's right. It's nothing. You're crazy. La la.
Gina:You're from New York. And I was like, yes, In the restaurant, and we ran inside, and some people thought we were nuts. And then sure enough, everyone was flocking off the beach. And I said to a guy, what's going on down there? And he's he told us.
Gina:And I said to my husband, you know, if it it sounds like a duck, it walks like a duck, it looks like a duck, you had three, you know, three. Boom. Boom. Boom. It's a duck.
Gina:And I said, you're dad. You need to be I don't care if it was a mistake. I'd rather those kids be, you know, quickly filing into a restaurant. I had them go behind us a cement bar. I mean, this is how crazy I was because it was all glass.
Gina:No. You were smart. You know? But I I said to my husband, like, I'd rather look silly and be wrong than end up I said, I don't know if it's a parent two parents where somebody took a child on a vacation that didn't have the legal authority. I don't know what's going on down there.
Gina:You do. I just know I hear gunshots, and I think it's time for us to seek cover. So Good.
Vikki:Yeah. Yes. I understand that level of, like, awareness. Awareness. Really good that you grew up in a city.
Vikki:I do think it's suburbia. Right? It's these outer areas that they are complacent. And complacency, you know, if we wanna talk about police work, complacency is the death of people many in many cases. It's not them being lazy.
Vikki:We were just discussing this yesterday, my husband and I. He was reading an article where an officer was being criticized of being lazy. No. It was his complacency. He went up to a homeless man and got too close, and you cannot get close.
Vikki:You have to be back. I think it was 21 feet. Isn't that crazy? Because if they have a knife, they can actually attack you within seconds. It's Yeah.
Vikki:Worse than a gun, because it takes a gun a while to fire and all that, but they can just lunge and attack you. So but he got too close, and then he lost his life over it. It's horrible.
Gina:Oh, wow.
Vikki:But it's complacency even in all, you know, regular citizens that aren't well trained. We just we need to be observant. It's not like you're living on the edge. Right. Like you were.
Vikki:Just be observant. Yes. And it can save you and your kids. So good for you. I've got you on the back.
Gina:Well, thank you. I feel it. I love it. No. And, I'm glad you brought that up because I wanted to add to that, and you just finished my thought, and I love it.
Gina:That, you know, it's not that you have to be on high alert nine one one mode everywhere you go, but listen. Take I mean, instead of two air AirPod, whatever they're called, wear one, and don't put the volume up so loud. You know? It don't have to be on your phone all the time. Don't have to be listening to music all the time and and know your surroundings.
Gina:And you know what? My biggest thing is I always tell my kids, and I had this thought this morning after brushing my teeth and putting on lipstick. And I was like, why am I thinking of these things? But it was how I remember asking my kids to use their intuition when they were learning how to drive. Like, I and I would say, talk out loud to me.
Gina:You know? What, you know, what do you think is going to happen? And they'd be like, okay. The white SUV is gonna, move into the middle lane. And sure enough, the person did, whether with the signal or without.
Gina:And I was like, yes. I just want you to start. We have this intuition where we're often told, no. Don't listen to it. It's wrong.
Gina:Instead, go ask 20 people their opinion. Go listen to a podcast. Read a book. You know? Pointing to my bookcase that's not in the middle of the screen.
Gina:Read a book. But, you know, go listen to someone else's advice. No. Be listen to yourself. You have this great awareness just like an animal has whiskers.
Gina:It knows, you know, this person's coming to pet me. Oh, this person's not happy with me. Or, you know, we had a cat who knew which when the storms were coming.
Vikki:You know? She would Yeah. But, Yeah. You're right. Intuition, that's huge.
Vikki:That is that's a good point. I agree. Yeah. Yeah.
Gina:Well, it's part of exquisite alignment. Believe when we when we get down to our soul level truths and our and we live based on our heartfelt desires using our innate gifts and talents, things three things happen, and one of which is our intuition becomes, you know, like, I I wanna say, a glow or on fire. It really ends our vitality, our life becomes we become much more healthier, more energetic. We are just able to excel in everything we do. So it you know, I told you there's so much we can talk about, Vicky, that I had written notes before we even started.
Gina:But it is time for us to close out. So, but if you don't mind, you said the name of the book, all of Vicky's information, how to connect with her, how to get the book on Amazon. I remind me it's in print and Kindle. Correct? It's print and Kindle for it's only $6.99.
Gina:Yay.
Vikki:Kind of amazing. Kind of nice not to be super expensive book.
Gina:Right. And those of you who can't yeah. Those hang on one second. Those of you who can't see the size of the book, it would fit beautifully into with a bottle of wine when you're going to someone's home as a, gift. It also fits beautifully, you know, with a birthday card.
Gina:It is so affordable that it makes a great gift. And I will tell you also, it's not just about policemen. Those 15 tips, tricks, I I forgot what your strategies
Vikki:Tips. Yeah. That you,
Gina:yeah, That you offer are for everyone, every man, woman, and probably, I'd say 16 and up year old, maybe 14 and up. And, so understand that it makes a great gift, not just a great read. It's something affordable and easy to package with something else. And it doesn't have to be a bottle of wine, but
Vikki:I know you. It's an old one. I Go ahead. Sorry. Sorry to steal that from you.
Vikki:I just had
Gina:to say. Go ahead. Yeah.
Vikki:That's great. That's great. Yeah. And and it is on Amazon and also Audible. I just recorded Audible, so that's up as well.
Vikki:So, super easy to find. And, actually, if you just type policewifebook.com, it takes you right to Amazon. So Perfect.
Gina:Yeah. Wonderful. Thank you. Well, it's time to pick a card from opening two possibilities, which is also tiny because I like things tiny and fast and metal so that you can travel. That's the other thing about her book.
Gina:It fits in your purse. So if you're sitting at carpool line, which I had to do years ago, it's not a right? It's it's that easy to carry along and read little bits as you go. Okay. So I shuffled before we started, and I shuffled just now.
Gina:I'm gonna ask you to tell me when to stop, and then I'll read the card. I'll go.
Vikki:Stop.
Gina:Okay. Flow. So this is a good one. There is an not that I because I wrote it. This is a good one for what we were speaking about.
Gina:Sorry. I need to finish that thought. Otherwise, I sound like I'm promoting myself. There is a natural flow in your life like water in a stream. How do you create flow?
Gina:Describe how it feels. How does it feel when you're not in flow?
Vikki:Wow. To me, if I'm not in flow, I feel chaotic inside. Yeah. Well, I I do think I have adult ADD. I was diagnosed with it, so I guess I should believe that.
Vikki:And so if I'm not in flow, I'm kind of all over the place.
Gina:Jumbo. Yeah.
Vikki:Busy. Yeah. And so grounding myself with a good book, with meditation, walking outside barefoot puts me right back in flow or taking a nap. Sometimes
Gina:I just
Vikki:take a nap to get myself back in flow. So that is that is very cool. I love that. And I really do think police wise, first responders need to find their flow for sure. Yeah.
Vikki:Yeah. Yeah.
Gina:And then You know what? I'll I'll, I'll share a tip. I usually don't do, give energy tips on, the show. I usually just use it with concierge clients. But this is a great one because policemen are around so many people, and they're walking into energetic situations that are not like you and I going on a vacation.
Gina:Okay? We would say they're on a scale of one to 10. They were on totally different, ends of the scale. And the thing is being with other people where the energy is frightening, like devastating. Somebody has passed.
Gina:There has been an accident. People are, you know, in shock, etcetera, can affect our energy, especially for first responders who are within that realm. So we have energy in our hands both on the front here. Where is my hand? The front and the back.
Gina:And so you can pat yourself on the head just doing top and bottom. I don't know why. Always my opposite hand goes to my navel. It doesn't have to be there. Like, to get yourself back to your energy after being in a room full of lots of people, after being at a preschool pickup versus a, you know, somebody passed away and you're going to their celebration of life and it's devastatingly sad, or I do it after going to networking groups, which is where I've met you at because I am very energy sensitive.
Gina:And oftentimes, I leave with other people's energy, you as well. Yeah. So it just using the hand the palm of your hand on top of your head with, you know, touching your hair, etcetera. The top front back, front back, front back for as many times as you need. Sometimes for me, it's three.
Gina:Sometimes it's 20 depending on how I feel. That's a great way for us to just bring back to our flow, our energetic flow. So I love that.
Vikki:Thank you for I've never heard that. I love that.
Gina:I'm I'm full of things, that, you know, I think my family would think, who needs that information? But, no, I love helping people on many different levels, and having been in this business for over twenty years and having lived fifty five years of of excitement, let's say, you know, craziness. But I've gotten out of flow when Mark was sick and being spending so much time in the hospital, that just depletes me immediately. Just the smell when I open the door of chemical cleansers and the fluorescent lights and then also the scrubs, the color of the scrubs. If you're on the kidney the liver floor, it's gray.
Vikki:Oh, so depressing. You know? But,
Gina:anyway, I do digress. So, Vicky, it's so lovely to share this time with you. We'd love to have you back. We can talk about that at another time, but, I see there are so many different things we can talk about that we share in common and where there is, also not overlap, where I can learn things from you and so can our listeners. So thank you again for giving a voice to what it's like, being that police officer's wife, mother of police officer children, and living that lifestyle because it is a little different, and now we know why not everybody knows everything, but they will soon.
Gina:So grab your book on Amazon, and thank you again for being with me. Thank you, Gina. Thank you so much. You're welcome. So if you are one of those people who are ready to make an impact the same way Vicky has, and you're ready to be seen and heard for the experiences that you've had and ready to make that impact because you know now is the time, I'm here to help you.
Gina:Let me know. Reach out. You can book an appointment with me at exquisitely aligned forward slash more so we can talk more and find out if we're a good match. If you're listening on Apple, I'd love for you to leave me a quick short review. Remember, I'm a New Yorker.
Gina:One to three sentences is more than enough. And if you're on YouTube, love for you to leave me a comment there. Have a great and wonderful day. Till next time. Be exquisite.
Gina:That
Vikki:conversation still gets me every time. Thank you, Gina Meyer Vincent, for creating such a safe place, such a beautiful space where I could feel comfortable sharing my story so authentically. It's not easy as a policewife, as you heard. We're kind of taught not to share openly about our story. So that was such a wonderful episode.
Vikki:And if you're a police wife, a military wife, first responder, family, or anyone walking through a tough season, I hope you heard this truth loud and clear. You are not alone. You're not alone. I promise. And there's purpose in the pain even though it doesn't feel like it in the moment.
Vikki:And there's always a way to rise stronger. And honestly, God has got your back. If you lean on him, he's got you. If today's episode spoke to you, come connect with me. I'd love to hear your story.
Vikki:You can book a call with me. Call with vicki.com is the easiest way to do it, and we can have a little thirty minute phone chat, Zoom chat over coffee, over whatever your favorite drink is, or visit, me at vickidowney.com and check out all that John and I do together. It's our joint website, and you can also find it at johnandvicki.com. And if you'd wanna grab a book, one of the police wife police wife survival guide books, go to Amazon, but an easier link that I have is policewifebook.com. Yep.
Vikki:I grabbed that URL too. I've learned a thing or two over the years. Yeah. Just go to policewifebook.com. It's only $8.99 And if you have got Prime, shipping's free.
Vikki:You can also get it on Audible on all the places that you like to listen to your Audible books. And as always, here at Dig the Well, I just wanna encourage you, keep digging, keep growing, keep believing, and keep finding a way. This is Vicky signing off for dig the well podcast. Thanks for joining us on dig the well.
John:We hope you feel empowered and ready to take on new challenges.
Vikki:Remember, if we can do it, so can you. Keep learning, keep believing, and going after your dreams. And if
John:you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone who needs a little inspiration or maybe a nudge in the right direction.
Vikki:Help us grow this community of go getters. Together, we can achieve greatness and get back to family.
John:Thanks for listening, and let's keep digging the way.