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On the Better High Podcast, host Dr. Matt Bellace will examine natural highs. These activities that elevate your mood and make you feel better than you normally feel. A unique aspect of the show is he will be interviewing people about their natural high WHILE they're doing their natural high! Along the way, he'll discuss natural highs, natural lows and everything in between. We hope you'll learn a little, laugh more and share your natural high.
Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to the Better High podcast. I'm your host, doctor Matt Bellis. On this podcast, we'll be talking about all things natural highs.
Matt:These are activities you do that make you feel better than you normally feel. We'll also be talking about natural lows. You know, those disappointments that lead to you pursuing natural highs in the first place. I tore around this country speaking to audiences of all ages about these topics. While I'm on the road, I experienced natural highs, natural lows, and everything in between.
Matt:Quick programming note before we get started. The show is going on summer break. Yeah.
Matt:That's
Matt:right. I need some time to record new episodes. Lots going on in the summer. Lots to record. Surfing, swimming, gardening.
Matt:That's right. Gardening. You didn't think you would ever listen to a show about the natural hive gardening, but we're gonna have it. We're gonna do it. But it takes time.
Matt:It takes time to set up the interviews and to edit them and have them ready to go for September. We'll be back in September when the school year starts again and when I'm back busily doing lots of gigs. This week, I had three Hopewell Valley Central High School. I speak to the rising eighth graders. I've been doing this for, gosh, fifteen years.
Matt:It's pretty amazing when I've been speaking there longer than the age of the audience I'm speaking to. Same is true at Yorktown High School in Yorktown Heights, New York. It was a senior class. I've been there, I don't know, sixteen, seventeen years now. Both excellent groups.
Matt:They've always been good for me. And I think that's why I keep coming back. We just click And that's what it takes sometimes. In speaking, you just gotta click with the energy of the audience and, have fun with it. The final gig of this stretch of time is coming up in two days, Lazar Middle School in Montville, New Jersey.
Matt:I've been there for over ten years and it's definitely in terms of difficulty level, it's it's a 10 out of 10. Picture this, eighth graders, they've graduated. Then the next day, they get to come to school for a half day, get their yearbooks, and then the last period of that day, they see me. That's right. It's a true test of my abilities.
Matt:Can I hold an audience's attention minutes before they leave the building forever? I mean, I basically, it's a litmus test. Do I still have it or not? I bring it as best I can. And, every year, it's like, we're doing this again?
Matt:And they're like, yep. We're doing it again. Oh, boy. So, that's my week. Hope you're having a good week.
Matt:Probably the natural high for me this week, the hatching birds in a birdhouse in my garden. I have a a group of house wrens, I'm told, living in this little birdhouse. Yesterday, I saw a cat. My son and I were were eating. We looked back and there was this orange cat sitting on the garden fence, looking at this birdhouse wondering, are these snacks?
Matt:And so we had to race out there and chase them away. But these Wrens are getting very close to flying the coupe. But it's been amazing to sneak up on them and videotape with the phone, put it up to the little hole there, and then they pop their little beaks up looking for food. My gosh. I never realized that something so simple could be that much fun to monitor.
Matt:So that's my natural high this week for sure. My natural low? Gosh. I mean, you could say the rain. It's been raining a ton, but for me, it's the news.
Matt:I can't even watch anymore. I'll read the news, but I can't I can't see people talking and saying things they're purposely saying just to troll me and annoy me. I've been getting into a show on Netflix called Alone, and I think there's a reason why. Because these people are out in extreme places like Northern Saskatchewan, and they have to stay there until the bitter winter just runs them off. And then the last person standing wins like a half a million dollars.
Matt:But I've never once heard any of the contestants when they're crying over the fire, missing home. I never heard one of them say, I just want more current events. I miss them so much. I just need the news. Nobody ever says that.
Matt:Right? They they miss their family. They miss home cooked meals. And I've been really getting into that as a great distraction for the natural low of the news. Just wanna hide out.
Matt:And this week's this week's episode, boy, it's it's golf. And some people have accused golfers of, getting out and leaving their family. That's the acronym. Right? For golf, get out, leave family.
Matt:Golf with a buddy of mine, speaker Ty Sells. You may remember him from an episode on public speaking. We went out and golfed together. I recorded the entire 18 holes. And, oh, boy, if you thought watching golf was boring, try editing 18 holes worth of golf audio.
Matt:But Ty, you know, we had moments to to chat it up. Ty is always engaging and funny and interesting. It's just there's so much breathing going on in golf. I didn't realize that, but it was fun. It was a great day.
Matt:A great day at the beginning of the season. So please enjoy my buddy, Ty Sells, on the golf course. Is golfing a natural high?
Matt:This is for me. Like, it's become one. The being outside thing is definitely it, but what I've also found is this year, you get a certain age, you think you've done a lot of stuff, and then I was like, what do I wanna work on to get better at? You know, basketball's done, arthritic knees, and football, that's been done for a minute. Mhmm.
Matt:For was like I was like, this is something I could effort to get better in that I enjoy doing. So for the first time ever, I've tried to change the way I've done things for thirty years.
Matt:So Maybe that's what makes golf so appealing because it's so challenging. Yeah. And if you like to see yourself get better, work hard, get better, like, you can do that the rest of your life.
Matt:Right. The next Absolutely. Like you said, the next two or three years, I got to really work at this.
Matt:No. It's that makes sense to me.
Matt:Yeah. I know.
Matt:Like, what are we doing that's new? Like, what are we growing that's new? I grew this beard. People like the beard.
Matt:Yeah.
Matt:I'm growing a prostate maybe and some tumors. I don't really know what else can I grow that impresses people?
Matt:Yeah. Yeah. I don't think my intermittent flow impresses anybody. This is today is just gonna be about new swing, new whatever. What's it feel like?
Matt:I'm not looking to score. I because I'm immediately making some changes. Like, that's the cool thing about golf too when you think about it is little things can make huge differences where, like, other things you work to improve can mean big changes, difficult changes. This one's like, oh, my grip was too far over. And I just moved it under.
Matt:And now this slice I had for thirty years just kind of went away. Wow. And I just I and I've just never looked.
Matt:You assumed it was you. It turns out
Matt:we're percent. Yeah.
Matt:It was just the you're holding the club.
Matt:Well, that's the other thing. I lose a lot of distance, and I'm like, I'm just old. You know, I start writing that off. I'm just old. I don't turn the same.
Matt:My hips don't turn the same. And then when I went to get the assessment, he's like, no. Your shoulders are great. And I'm like, damn. Why am I losing all the power?
Matt:He's like, Your swing is really bad. It's a bad, bad swing. And he's like, Every time you hit the ball, just kind of a glancing blow. So when you're younger, sure, and you hit it with a glancing blow, you get a little fire there. Or you wouldn't glance as much.
Matt:It was still a little more solid. And now you just gotta rework your swing so you get the club on the ball. So you haven't played since October, you said?
Matt:Yeah. Since
Matt:And how were you scoring?
Matt:I think I was hitting, like, a 100, a 105, you know, like, last year. I I used to be good before kids. I mean, I could probably get below 90 a few
Matt:times. Wow. But Yeah. Kids will kids will ruin everything.
Matt:Well, I mean, I couldn't couldn't be out like multiple times a month.
Matt:Oh, know. Yeah.
Matt:You know, it is.
Matt:I you know, it's our third time golfing.
Matt:In your life?
Matt:No. You and I. Oh. Oh. Yeah.
Matt:Us alone.
Matt:I had a broken finger last time.
Matt:You did? And we had we played Anne Arundel. When we were at Anne Arundel, played a course out in Maryland. Oh my god. I was stressing for you because you had to get to a flight.
Matt:This is just how you and I are different. A flight. Yeah. Life on the road is that I'm like, I wouldn't even be out here. And I think you stay with me for like 12 holes.
Matt:You're like, I gotta get out.
Matt:And then you
Matt:took out to to the car and got out of there. And, like, I would have been like, oh, I guess I can't golf today. I'm flying at some point this evening.
Matt:People ask me, like, aren't you worried you're gonna miss your flight? I'm like, I make, like, 90% of them. Yeah. Like, what? Like, yeah.
Matt:You just gotta build it in. You gotta live your life, man. I don't wanna just sit in an airport.
Matt:Oh, yeah. I hear you. I wish I didn't have that in me. You still fit comfortably in airplane seats, though. That's the other thing we gotta factor.
Matt:For now. For now.
Matt:Is how miserable I am on a plane.
Matt:There's nothing quite as awful as being stuck with you got crying babies, you got a farting bad breath guy. Yep. You can't get up. You can't even stand like this.
Matt:I cut everybody some grace because the tension of the people in the seats when they see me walking up the aisle. Are they like, oh, please keep going. Please keep going. Please. So I'm like, I am kind of that guy just for being
Matt:You're like Walter White
Matt:So
Matt:massive. In Breaking Bad when he said, I am the problem.
Matt:I am. I am the one who knocks.
Matt:You thought you were the problem? Well
Matt:I do brag though that I still have never needed to ask for an extender. So I'm still super proud of that.
Matt:If it was close for me, I probably would travel with my own extender just so I didn't have to talk to anybody.
Matt:Oh, yeah. Just
Matt:slip it in. Yeah. That's how self conscious I'd be about it. I'm like, you know what?
Matt:Oh, yeah. Then you don't have to draw attention.
Matt:Right. I was just gonna
Matt:I did, man. When I was when I was up so I'm down another five since we were together. I'm like, I'm real happy. But when I was at my peak, I I ordered one off Amazon just in case.
Matt:Did you?
Matt:Yeah, man. It was nerve racking. And it was for the same reason. I'm like Yeah. Hey.
Matt:Bing bing. Can I get it? You need an extender just yelling down the aisle. One or two are you one or two extenders?
Matt:Two extenders. Do you want another seat? We can have a second we have a
Matt:Oh, man. That was another low point. When I was in my Vegas so Southwest Airlines, you know, they do that thing where you can reserve the seat next to you for a person of size or whatever Okay. The term is. I've never had to like, I didn't think I ever would have to do that or put any thought into it.
Matt:And I'm asleep at a gate one time before boarding, And this lady that works there started nudging me and she goes, here you go. And she gave me a new ticket with the with the one of her sizes. I'm like She
Matt:just looked you up.
Matt:Okay. Now, listen to me. Ever since I knew that was a thing, I'm like, let them do it again. Like Yeah. Is this in my permanent record?
Matt:I'll take whatever. But when she did it at first, I was momentarily offended and then I was like, I don't care.
Matt:It reminds me of going to the grocery store on Tuesdays at seniors discount. And I roll up on a Tuesday and they're
Matt:like That's right.
Matt:Guy goes senior discount. I'm like, come on, man. I didn't
Matt:That's weird, man.
Matt:And then I stood there for a second. I was like, alright.
Matt:That weird. That weird, though. It when you came around the corner, was like, oh, Papa Noel is back.
Matt:Yeah. Okay. So I'm jumping in here to narrate this. I'm gonna edit it down to the highlights because there's no way you wanna listen to us play 18 holes. Although I dare you to do it.
Matt:That would be a fascinating meditation to try to listen to audio of two people golfing for 18 holes. And I'll be back jumping in to explain how things are going.
Matt:What do you play on this? You hit the driver here?
Matt:I don't even know what.
Matt:This is a oh, you get a scorecard.
Matt:Let's go.
Matt:Alright. That wind is pretty decent. It's like we're hitting right into it. Right?
Matt:Yeah. Feels so weird to come out when it's cold. Right.
Matt:It's been a while. Usually when I first started, I would go out in anything. And I remember standing over putts on December 26 with my eyes watering. And then I'm like, I'm too old for that. But I didn't know it was gonna be like that.
Matt:It was saying I was like 49. I could definitely do that.
Matt:Golf is, to me, such a hot summer sport where you're like
Matt:You sweating out.
Matt:Drinking, you know, as much as you can, Hydrating. Yeah. Not today.
Matt:It's a good looking swing, man. And
Matt:it went straight.
Matt:That's gonna work. That'll work. Really well. Nice shot, dude.
Matt:Thank you. It didn't feel good.
Matt:To the flag top of the flag, it's saying one twenty nine repeatedly.
Matt:20. I mean, that should be
Matt:It's uphill a bit.
Matt:Yeah. I think a lot of the experience in golfing is just it gives you an excuse to be out in nature.
Matt:I'm not like a nature outdoor I never have been, but it does do something on a there's still something about like camping, I don't know, like the idea of sleeping out there, but the closest I come to like hiking or hiking. Yeah. Hiking's not even that bad. Like as I've gotten older, some of it I don't. I think COVID was a big deal, like, because the idea of you're gonna have to stay inside
Matt:Yeah.
Matt:Versus so when I would go for walks, when I do that 20,000 steps a day, it was it I did that for two years.
Matt:20,000?
Matt:It started. You remember that Valentine's gig you got me a couple years ago? I think it was in Pennsylvania. That's when I was like, was right before COVID. And I was like, I gotta start moving.
Matt:So that's when I went out and started walking. I'm like, oh, if 10,000 is good, 20 is gotta be great. Yeah. Alright. Go ahead and hit on there.
Matt:So here we're wrapping up the first hole and then teeing off at the second. And as I listened back to it, I realized I didn't emphasize enough how incredible Ty's workouts of 22 steps a day really are. I mean, he's such a sweet guy and just so genuine and honest. And I wanna say that it's amazing that he is so open about his workouts and what he puts into it. And I'm inspired by Nice.
Matt:Two for two. So
Matt:now let's see what I do with that iron.
Matt:Yeah. That's good.
Matt:How do I mess that one up? There you go. That's weird because they're all just kinda falling off there.
Matt:Same spot.
Matt:But the so I hit one on the simulator. It's $2.53.
Matt:Yeah.
Matt:And the key thing on that was the backspin was only $7.38. Some of my other backspin was, like, 11,000.
Matt:Oh, I don't I've never seen a backspin
Matt:Yeah. They give all analysis. Yeah. They give all this stuff on those on those simulators now. They give you everything.
Matt:It's like exit VLO in baseball. Everyone's obsessed with how how fast you hit Yeah. The exit velocity of the baseball team.
Matt:Right? That's if you listen to all these guys talk now, they're talking about launch angle. They're talking about club head speed, ball speed after strike. Like, that's what all the conversation is about now. That's it.
Matt:The irony is it it's ruined batting averages in baseball. Oh, shit. Like, oh, launch angle. Yeah. You know what?
Matt:Only six people hit over 300 last year in
Matt:the major. Oh, you're shit, man.
Matt:Because they're all going for home runs.
Matt:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt:The batting champion, the AL hit three fourteen. I mean, come on. That's awful. Right? Yeah.
Matt:Because they're all trying to beat Aaron Judge. Know don't if I had five or six. I'm counting here.
Matt:Good drive. Plateau. Hit it deep on the green. Ran it back past it. Oh, no.
Matt:Ran it short.
Matt:Ran it short. And then passed it.
Matt:Passed it.
Matt:And then it.
Matt:And then you hit it.
Matt:So is that six?
Matt:Yeah. I think so. Six. I I mean, I wasn't counting. I was just telling you what your shots were.
Matt:Yeah. I'm just trying to remember.
Matt:So this kinda reminds me when I I was out in California one time in Santa Barbara and a friend of mine is like, hey, let's play sandpiper. He doesn't golf, but he's like yeah. He knew I did. He's like, I'll get you on out there because I'm a resident. We can get you off and then I'll just be your caddy.
Matt:I'm like, oh, that sounds great. And so and I guess that's where Jordan plays it. When he would go down and he would just kinda take over the town for a week down there in Santa Barbara. But so we go out and then I get paired or whatever, tripled. These other two guys come up.
Matt:They're all tailor made this. I'm like
Matt:Oh, no.
Matt:I'm screwed. Like, they looked apart. Yeah. Perfect builds for golf, like, everything. And then I'm like, well, this is gonna be a shitty day.
Matt:Because this is back when I just kinda first began anyway.
Matt:Just hacking.
Matt:And the first hole, they're hitting chili dippers. And I'm like, oh, I'll be alright. I'm I'm gonna be okay. Like, I was all nervous about it, but but they weren't good. They just bought the equipment and looked good.
Matt:A take it out of this water if you're cool with that. Well, it's not really in water. Guess where I I thought I saw a puddle right here.
Matt:It's alright. You can pretend there's a puddle.
Matt:No. It's just that. It's just wet leaves apparently.
Matt:So on my way up, I would say zero zero to 10 being the worst I've ever felt, 10 being the best. My mood was like a five out of 10. Nothing to do with you. Was just like kids at homes constantly like hearing about how disappointing I am.
Matt:From your kids?
Matt:No. No. Just for my wife and
Matt:Yeah.
Matt:With relation to the kids and the routine. And it was like, ugh. And I woke up today and I'm excited, oh, good. This is a nice, thing to do. And I'm working tonight.
Matt:So, like, it's it's a good day. But it's almost like five out of 10. And already, I can tell
Matt:it's like Lightning up.
Matt:Much better. Yeah. How about you?
Matt:Do you do I'm I was excited. I the whole day, was like, cool. I get the hang of that. If I suck, I suck. But I'll figure out where I am now.
Matt:I get start getting a feel for the course and or for the play. I think you're good. But, yeah, they drove up. Alright. Is that the stick on the other side of the hill?
Matt:It is. That's the one fifty. I'm hitting a three wood.
Matt:You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good.
Matt:Nice. Got You're good.
Matt:Nice. Right down that line, baby. You know, I rediscovered this about you. So the first time we played together, I thought this kid's gonna be an athlete. Like, he's gonna be good.
Matt:And you were. And then it was like to see that, it was like, oh, yeah. He can he can play this one. And then I we're just in so many serious settings all the time. Yeah.
Matt:And we're always working and we're doing whatever we I mean, you and I make it fun, but to watch you hit the last couple, I'm like, oh, yeah. I remember he can he's an actual athlete here.
Matt:He doesn't look like one, but he must have been one.
Matt:Well, no. You you you do look like one, like, the first time.
Matt:Oh, wait.
Matt:Is this me or is that him?
Matt:The fun I find it so funny that we both went to such similar high schools, like, demographically. Yeah. And there is a certain type of some social skills that you gain when you're around a real diverse group. The ability to basically talk to anyone. Yeah.
Matt:Okay. This is the third hole. It's a par five. I sink the first par of the day for any of us. And you can hear Ty's excitement, his enthusiasm for me at the good news.
Matt:And honestly, that's always a sign of a good friend. Someone who's excited for your good shot.
Matt:Oh, get that par, baby. Nice one. You bastard. You can grab my putter. You motherfucker.
Matt:I have a club that's illegal in most states probably. It's like a
Matt:What is that? A do you use that chip? I can get my putter.
Matt:Half putter, half chipper.
Matt:He's fine. Yeah. I think six is on the last one, didn't he?
Matt:Yeah. So As long as we're on the course, you know, or Yeah.
Matt:I'm learning what I I mean, I'm figuring stuff out out here, so it feels good. That second shot, so I'm behind the one tree, but just to the right. And then my choice was try and play it out along the right hand side Mhmm. Or trying there's two trees like this. So let's try and cut through this one.
Matt:And so I did that, and it just took it on that inside track. So I was like, cool. I shall still should be in good shape after that. Just hit a shitty third time.
Matt:Par fives, man. Like, it can stink. You can go out with, like, two or three good shots and then Oh, yeah. Still have time to mess it up. So Okay.
Matt:It's hole four, five, six. Nothing really miraculous happens. Just fun to listen in here.
Matt:So you got me mic'd up? Yeah. I have to monitor my breathing so it doesn't sound like I'm dying out here. You're just
Matt:gonna hear a bunch of These aren't Fitbits, Ty. They they won't report you. We can edit that out too.
Matt:Like, what's he doing, jogging? No. It's a moderate incline. He's traversing a moderate incline. That's what's happening right now.
Matt:And you joked about hitting one so well that you wanna walk off. Yeah. So when I was playing baseball in college, I was in a summer league, and there was a guy who was gonna be a senior at Monmouth University. And he says to me, like, you know, I'm not gonna play next year. I haven't been playing much anyway.
Matt:If I hit a home run-in this league, I'm gonna retire from baseball. Was like, yeah. Okay. And we're, like, halfway into the season, and we were trying to fight for the playoffs. Sure enough, in the third inning, he hits a home run.
Matt:He comes over to the bench. He sits down, starts taking his cleats off. Like, what are doing? He goes, I told you I was gonna retire. I'm like, you were serious?
Matt:He's like, I'm out. And he left. Never saw him again.
Matt:Do you know his, like, you know his name? And so, like, whatever happened to the guy?
Matt:I don't.
Matt:I would be dying to look him up, man. What if he just has a series of jobs where he crushed it once and moved on? Like, that's his whole his whole thing. But he was a lawyer. Did a $5,000,000 case.
Matt:Those years.
Matt:He's And then he just I'm off. He's some financial manager, hedge fund manager. I'm out. Big win after big win. Oh, come on.
Matt:Dang it. I was trying to I kinda wanna just hit the top and see if it would roll down to the left. Man, I was I was promising for so long until it wasn't. You see what was trying to do? Hit the grass right there and let it just fall down.
Matt:Guess it would help to know that massive hill was on this side of it. Well, let me get here. Try as good as I was gonna do.
Matt:Okay. Hole seven. We both shoot bogeys, which is one over par. Then on the eighth hole, my first total luck shot off a tree. And this is gonna be first of a few of these during the day, and it starts setting the theme for this day, which is me just lucking out.
Matt:Get in. Good one, man.
Matt:Alright. That'll give me? Alright.
Matt:Fall, fall, fall, fall. It didn't fall. Go ahead.
Matt:You on? No. I wouldn't say on, but You putting? I actually didn't see it come down.
Matt:So you could be in the hole.
Matt:Yeah. Could be
Matt:in the I mean, up until we get
Matt:up What
Matt:is this? That Heinz only principle or some shit like that? What's the one where you're like, it could be in any possibility is still available? See the one that did the dead cat thing?
Matt:Yes.
Matt:Where the dead cat and the like, is it alive or dead or it's both at the same time or some shit like that?
Matt:I'm more of the simplest explanation is probably the best. Okay.
Matt:Little Occam guy?
Matt:Yep. Little Occam's razor, which is that I suck and
Matt:Yeah. Done like that. Is that you?
Matt:Yeah.
Matt:I told you, man. You are in play.
Matt:Nice. It's
Matt:an easy game, guys. Let's not let's not overthink it, you know?
Matt:There you go.
Matt:Oh, Matt. Well done. Did you get a bogey?
Matt:Yeah. But, like, I lost the
Matt:ball. That's a hell but it still, man. When I saw that ball of Amur, both times. The first one I saw hit the tree and I knew it would came back toward us, but I didn't know you'd be able to see it.
Matt:That was pure luck.
Matt:Yeah. Keep that this is a perfect pace, dude.
Matt:Okay. This is the ninth hole and the second time in three holes where I hit a shot. It hits off a tree and then comes back on the fairway. I've always heard it's better to be lucky than good, and I'm definitely an example of that here. Till you hit a tree, then it comes back.
Matt:It can only help you, I'm sure.
Matt:I hit it. I saw
Matt:it bounce.
Matt:It I mean, it's up there, but
Matt:It can only help you.
Matt:It only got better, is it?
Matt:It's not gonna hurt. I think you're putting.
Matt:Is
Matt:that it back in the middle of the fairway? Yeah. I think so. The bounce back there? That's what I'm saying.
Matt:It's perfect. Yeah. That's the that's the stuff now that I'm like, he in the politics shit, that's the only shit that gets to me anymore. So I just had to check out on it,
Matt:like Yeah.
Matt:I get too too fucking frustrated.
Matt:That's why I started the podcast. I'm like, Yeah. Let me focus on connecting with people, being in the moment, talking about activities that we love. Like, I'm sick of.
Matt:Love that. Yeah. So you're not buried in I just checked out. I just stopped Facebook. Like, I just
Matt:But, like, yeah. You can check out, but what else do you do? Right? Like, to to to me, it's like, let let me explore activities either that I've never done or that I love doing.
Matt:Yeah. Okay. I get that.
Matt:So and people But you never
Matt:explicitly stated that's why you wrote it.
Matt:I mean, do along the way. In this recent episode, actually do in the
Matt:Oh, wow.
Matt:Intro when I'm
Matt:talking could get deported for that. Just
Matt:That was be a So question for you. Can you still have a natural high in golf even if you're not
Matt:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even Not even.
Matt:Dude, I know. I I don't expect you know what? That's a good a good thing for your the podcast, the idea what percentage of depression, disappointment is just unmet expectations. Mhmm. And I have learned in my life, I don't expect a lot out of everybody else.
Matt:I mean, I should be allowed to expect more from some people than I do, but I don't. I never had. And I think it started back with my parents just because they didn't have a lot of money.
Matt:Yeah. Your upbringing, it sounds like.
Matt:Yeah. And and I just a lot of the kids would get this stuff, I just know I wasn't gonna get it. Like birthdays for me kinda checked out around 12, 13.
Matt:Okay.
Matt:Like, I just never felt like I they owed me anything. And so that's how I so I could do that with them. You know? Like, I remember one time getting up to go to school, college. My mom was going through chemo at the time.
Matt:She saw me getting ready, just started crying. She was, I wish we could help you more with any of this. I'm like, it's not your job. Like, I'm a grown man. I was, like, 19.
Matt:Wow. But I'm like, it's it's not you know, you do what you can.
Matt:Now that's that's a heavy moment.
Matt:Yeah. And she's sitting there. Yeah. And, like, in her mind, she hasn't done enough. So what's me bitching and moaning about?
Matt:You know, I wish I could have in some ways been more like that, like with my own kids. If we were younger, let's say one let's say I wore glasses. If I'd have broken my glasses, we'd have gotten the next pair of glasses when insurance time rolled around. My kids, they don't wait ten minutes. They get right away.
Matt:We fix it right away.
Matt:Yeah. Wow.
Matt:But in in golf, that's all it is. Like, I have all my friends get pissed off at themselves playing.
Matt:Yeah.
Matt:In in reality, I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I am exactly the type of golfer I should be. I mean and you know how I know it? Because this is the type of golfer I am. And it's really easy to see that, like, now in golf, but we don't do that in life where I I am where I am because of whatever choices, because of whatever conditions are.
Matt:I can look at the conditions and say, I was pretty skilled to come through that. You know, like, I was pretty skilled to to get a lot of people would have folded under that. Sounds like Where a lot of people turn into victims and stuff like that. Why Do
Matt:you have realistic expectations?
Matt:That's it. And that's that's I had them by my kids too. Like like so what I and it's not even realistic. It was like almost none. I asked them to do a couple things.
Matt:Be kind. I would tell them, this is because they all were skilled kids at different things and so I would say to them, you are good actors, you are good talents, you're good know good looking kids but the thing is there's always going to be someone bigger, stronger, faster. So don't get too caught up in that. Get caught up in the process. What is that one?
Matt:Is that me? It felt like it was my line.
Matt:Yeah. The title was Okay.
Matt:That's on, dude. That's a smoker. On the stand. Come on. That was a great shot.
Matt:Check up. That's great. Great angle in too. You're on the correct side of the green. That was a great shot.
Matt:What was that? A three?
Matt:Yeah. Three wood.
Matt:That's the best hit. I mean, you've had good drives, but that's I think it was your best shot.
Matt:Felt good.
Matt:That thing was Good.
Matt:That three wood is finicky. Right? You miss it, you really miss it.
Matt:That was smoked.
Matt:So I remember starting to play golf with my mom when I was in my twenties.
Matt:Oh, yeah?
Matt:And she was the the queen of high expectations. Every bad shot was like, oh. Yeah. Like the goddamn it. Now
Matt:she's better.
Matt:Yeah. It's been much better now. But like in the beginning, it was it was I felt bad for her, you know. She's taking it hard.
Matt:Yeah. The and that's I guess that's like one of the tricks to the things I do too is where I I just play a different game. We're playing golf, but then there's other games you can play. Like, can joke with you about being sand shots or I can Colin and I can do a single shot kind of bet and stuff. Like like, that's the kind of those are the more fun.
Matt:That's where you get kind of the joy out of it. Yeah. But and then trying to improve should be part of a fun process, which I'm gonna say I'm not like that in a lot of other processes. But in golf, do I do like trying to get better, you know?
Matt:This is the tenth hole. It's my first long putt that I chip in and it goes in and you can hear the excitement. It is certainly luck again. I just hit it right, especially after hitting that tree.
Matt:Chip it in. That is really well done. In the hole That is really well done, dude. That is gorgeous. Nice.
Matt:Was perfect. That was great.
Matt:Thirteenth hole, guess what? Hit another tree.
Matt:That sounded clean.
Matt:Oh, came back. Came back. Big time.
Matt:Yeah. It's
Matt:a Maddie bounce there.
Matt:Nice shot.
Matt:Fourteenth hole. Ty hits a nice shot, but guess what? It hits a tree and goes nowhere good, which is very funny after all the luck that I've had. Oh. Dang it.
Matt:That started so clean.
Matt:Sounded good. Did you get through?
Matt:No. I mean, did it bounce on the other side?
Matt:I don't think he
Matt:got through. I saw it hit a branch. You gotta feel good for me though. I needed a a bogey. I needed one of those.
Matt:I was this is what's weird for me. So I don't know how you get, like, not scoring the way I'd want, like, up close and chipping and all that. Yeah. And the greens are super fast, so I have practiced none of that. But I've hit some shots that I didn't know were still gonna be options for me.
Matt:So I'm I can be enthusiastic about even I've had some eights or whatever, that four that I hit, the one that hit the tree and knocked back over, that's one of the cleanest looking shots. Oh, damn. I was like, shit. If I can hit that thing like that Yeah. It's gonna be a bit of a game changer for me.
Matt:Sixteenth hole par three. I finally come down to earth here. I hit a tree and the shot goes nowhere and it's hard to find. Come back. Come back.
Matt:Come back. I
Matt:hit a tree. Big bounce. Did it sail out to the left? I saw it hit and then it took off like up into the left.
Matt:You can just put that soundtrack on the shot. I saw it hit, and then
Matt:That but it took off really pure.
Matt:Yes. It felt Like, if it
Matt:had been like any of those other holes where it starts moving back, you would have been I mean, because you were you had some distance on that too. I thought Did you see it hit the chain? Yes. Like, you saw where it bounced?
Matt:When I hit it, I'm like, I think it's too much club. I I think I
Matt:No. I I said you had a good club. Oh. Is that it?
Matt:I don't know. I doubt it's
Matt:I mean, that's a oh, is that a Callaway?
Matt:No. That's not it. Yeah. Oh. I just love I love the conversation.
Matt:You just hear, well, had the distance.
Matt:It's been It was. Looked for a very long time. And then that tree, and the assortment of other trees.
Matt:The silence and then.
Matt:Yeah. I I've never seen one hit a branch that high up and then explode up more. You know? Like, it it hit it dead solid and bounced straight up.
Matt:You wouldn't think that would be the case either.
Matt:No. I would've been I think there's less likelihood of that than getting the hole in one. Yeah. So there's a win in that.
Matt:No chance of seeing my ball? It's gone.
Matt:Now you it it shot left. I mean, unless it caught another tree and something good happened.
Matt:Again on a sixteenth hole, the magic returns. You can really hear the natural high in my voice on this one.
Matt:What in the name of God?
Matt:Yep. There it is.
Matt:That's your second chip in for the record.
Matt:It is so hard to it.
Matt:Look how big you're still smiling, Matt. I wanna fight you. That's good, Jay. You've earned it. Thank you.
Matt:You guys all hit the green and Yeah.
Matt:We're both begging for
Matt:stealing balls.
Matt:That's insane. Yeah.
Matt:This is
Matt:Two chimp ins today.
Matt:The 10 out of 10 natural high right here.
Matt:Yeah. Alright. Now you're glad. Dude, you were so that was great.
Matt:Yeah. Right. That was so that was so ancient, that ball.
Matt:Take a couple of threes on that. Nice, dude. That's so good. I'm just dying. That thing just took off.
Matt:I've never done that. That's what made me smile. You ever hit it?
Matt:Well, what's funny is
Matt:Pin like that?
Matt:Couple more putts went by, and then he's lined up, and I'm looking at you, and you're still like, like, what the fuck?
Matt:Oh, man. Golf is a crazy game.
Matt:Yeah. That hole right there kind of embodies the whole game right there. Hit a tree.
Matt:Seventeenth hole. I went on to hit one more tree for good measure, and then we wrap up the day finishing out seventeen and eighteen.
Matt:Damn it, man. Oh my god. You're in the fairway. Get out front of the green. Swear to god.
Matt:No. Swear to god. You're not on the green. You're right in front of it.
Matt:Really? You're kidding me. Sorry.
Matt:You you hit the tree and came out right. No way. Again, you were on this side of the I know. Did not hit shot out this side.
Matt:I can't believe it.
Matt:It's the this is the craziest day I've ever seen in golf. That's insane. Let's just see what what do we got? Alright. I'm in heaven, dude.
Matt:This so, like, when you were thinking that whole day, like, this natural high is gonna kick in, and you just you just notice, like, I just kinda go through it. Like, hanging out with you was more of a high than doing the work necessarily.
Matt:You wanna see if they have food here?
Matt:I'm cool with whatever you wanna do.
Matt:There you have it. My buddy, Ty Sells, and I exploring the natural high of golfing. Thank you so much, Ty, for making time on your speaking trip to have me come up and play around a golf with you. It was so much fun and had so many unique moments in that round, things that, don't typically happen. And that's what makes doing the podcast great, is you get to capture those moments.
Matt:If I pull out my therapist notes, I have to say, Ty practices something that the stoics would call emotional equanimity. That's right. Those ancient Greek philosophers, they had this belief that we suffer more in imagination than we do in reality. So they never wanted to get too high or too low emotionally. And I could tell that Ty practices that.
Matt:Doesn't let himself get carried away with the excitement. Doesn't let himself get too low when things aren't going his way. And I think that is really helpful. And we've talked about this before on the podcast, that feeling that you don't wanna take life too seriously, you wanna have low expectations, that can be helpful. But also think to to guard, like, upper limits just like a a good microphone would clip out the highs and the lows to protect itself.
Matt:You know, I think people can do that too. So thank you, Ty, for sharing that lesson. The two put ups for this week, well, I have to say goes out to journalists. You know, I don't wanna watch the news, but we gotta give it to journalists, man. They, they they're brave souls who've risked their lives over generations going out and covering wars and, bringing, you know, reality to our homes through the TV set.
Matt:And sometimes I can't even bear to watch, but they're doing it. And I think, ultimately, bringing truth to power is impressive. So journalists who make their career mission of asking the tough questions and bringing out the truth are badly needed these days, and I have lots of respect for them. So thank you journalists. You deserve the two put ups for sure, and thank you for listening.
Matt:And if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it with friends, talk about this over the summer. What a great time to listen to some of the old episodes as you're enjoying your natural highs outside this summer. Thank you so much, and we will see you in September. Take care everybody.
Steve:Bellis. You can find out more at mattbellis.com. Mixing, editing, and original music by Steve Wilder Blumenthal. You
Matt:can hear more
Steve:of his work at wilderbloommusic.com. Follow us on social media. Our handle is better high pod. Again, that's better high pod, all one word. And thank you for listening.