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A podcast that explores how AI is transforming careers, businesses, and industries. Hosts Greg Boone and Erica Rooney deliver real-world use cases and actionable AI strategies to help professionals stay ahead of the curve.
Learn more about your hosts:
Erica Rooney, author of The AI Gap: Women, AI, and the Next Great Leap Forward
Greg Boone, author of AI at the Speed of Trust (available for pre-order)
Tara Ryan: And you're in there and
you're feeling this pressure over
here, it's like the place where you
can go to be like, okay, all of these
things are true, but like in my body
in this moment, what feels best to me?
What feels the most aligned with the
path that I'm going to least regret?
AI isn't the future, it's now,
and whether you're in hr, sales,
operations, or leadership, the
choices you make today will determine
whether you thrive or get left behind.
Erica Rooney: Welcome to the AI
Voicer Victim Podcast, y'all.
We are live at MIT, the AI Powered Women
Conference, and today I have my new
bestie, Tara Ryan, founder of Confidante.
Tara, thank you so much
for being here today.
How are you?
Tara Ryan: I'm good.
It's electric here.
Erica Rooney: Oh my gosh.
Thanks for having, well, this is gonna
be an amazing conversation because we got
two women, two moms doing all the things.
But tell me all about confidant.
What is this?
Tara Ryan: Yes, so we are building
mother centered ai and it really, the,
the kind of the goal of this is to
help moms drown out the noise, right?
Because moms are faced with
so many different opinions and
perspectives and it's heard.
To kind of go into yourself and
make a values-based decision.
And so that's really the goal
of what we're trying to help
moms do, um, with confidant.
Erica Rooney: Okay.
And, and can you kind of talk to me
a little bit about how that works?
How does that make my life better?
Tara Ryan: Yes.
So let me, I'll, let me back up
a little bit to where it started.
So, I am an executive.
I, for the past four years, I have
been coaching, um, women leaders
and executives primarily in heavily
male dominated career spaces.
And we oftentimes, the work that we would
do together was to kind of help them.
They would bring a problem or a worry
to me and we would just take a beat,
take a pause, and I would ask them,
what do you wanna do in this moment?
Like, what do you, what do you wanna do?
And they would be like,
wait, I have a choice.
Erica Rooney: They're
like, you're asking me,
Tara Ryan: actually insert
myself into this equation.
And then you were able to make
a decision from that place.
And so I was like, I'm not
always available to my clients.
What if I created a custom GPT?
That helps them pause and make those
values-based decisions when I'm
not there and see what they think.
And I did, we gave, you know,
my co-founder and I built it.
We gave it to them and they were
like, how are you in my pocket?
You know, like, this is so crazy.
And we just started seeing them use it for
things like, this one mom, you know, she
had a really important business trip that
she was flying out for on Sunday night.
Of course, her 3-year-old son struck
a fever on Sunday morning, duh.
You know, in the stress response, she
didn't feel like she had any choice but
to cancel the trip, like that was it.
She was like, I, I, I gotta cancel.
Like, my team's gonna be so disappointed.
I'm gonna be so disappointed.
Thankfully, she turned to the
GPT at the time the, that we
had built, and she outlined the
situation and was able to see that.
Like, wait a second, maybe
there are more choices here.
What if you.
Reached out to your team and delayed the
flight and then, you know, to tomorrow.
And then you can make a choice depending
on how, what's going on with the kid.
Right?
Yeah.
She did that.
Thankfully it helped her like craft a
message to the team and to her manager
and like say that she was doing this.
Um, and he was fine.
The fever broke.
He went to daycare, she got on the flight.
All was good.
But like without that kind of forced.
Pause almost.
Um, and recentering, it's really hard.
So that's kind of how we, we, we built it
and then now it's a, a real life product.
Erica Rooney: Oh my gosh.
Okay, so let's go back even further.
What is your background?
Like, what brings you, because
I love this, right, thank you.
But I've been like, I don't
know what is going on here.
So tell me a little bit more about
you and how Confidant came to be.
Tara Ryan: I spent the first part of
my career in software sales in tech.
So I do think that that having
that background is really helpful.
You a good
starting point.
Exactly.
This AI world is intimidating.
Right?
And it's still, even as someone who
has a technology background, like I'm
not a technical person, um, I sold.
Software.
Um, but it has like, made it a
little less intimidating, I think.
So I had that background.
Um, and what, while I was working
inside of Tech, I was most motivated
and inspired when I was mentoring my
female colleagues, talent team members.
And so I said to myself like, how do I
make money doing that part that I love?
Erica Rooney: That's what I like.
Right?
Tara Ryan: Right.
And so I transitioned into the coaching.
Um, and then I, because of the
stage of life that I was in, I
tended to attract mothers who were
also taking part in really high.
Careers and jobs.
Yeah, absolutely.
And a lot of them were managed and led
by men who didn't really understand
all of the complexities that come
with being a modern day mother.
Um, and all the caregiving
responsibilities, the mental load that's
on us, the emotional labor that we take
on while also navigating the career.
And so I started to become obsessed with
like, wait, how do all of these like
systems and barriers come into play?
In how we're navigating the world.
Um, and one of the things that kept
popping up was this like gender division
of unpaid labor, um, and how women
really carry the majority of that, and
that really impacts their ability to
show up like in their career, in their
world, in the world and for themselves.
And so I think it's like that
work that like research and,
and that curiosity paired with
hearing thousands and thousands
of stories from my clients around.
Just the day-to-day struggles
and then becoming a mom myself.
So I have my daughter, um, and
another on the way in December.
And so that's really where it all sparked
from and just wanting to create this
space for moms to like trust themselves.
Like that's what it really is.
It's like, you know, we as moms, I'm sure
you can relate to this, like we know way
more than we give ourselves credit for.
Erica Rooney: Yeah, we do.
But you've said a lot of things
here and one of the things I really
wanna touch on is the mental load.
And I know what it is.
You know what it is?
Every woman listening to this
podcast that has kids or is
a caregiver knows what it is.
Yeah.
But let's say it for anybody
who might not know what it is.
Yeah.
What is this mental load
you're talking about?
Tara Ryan: I think of it as the
never ending loop, the to-do
list that runs through your head.
Right.
So it's like, for example,
um, are we out of ketchup?
You know?
Oh, because
Erica Rooney: my will not
eat dinner without that food
Tara Ryan: group.
Exactly.
And you know that.
Right.
It's like, yes.
So moms are oftentimes the
ones that know those things.
Um, do have we, you know, signed
up for the annual check checkup
at the pediatrician's office.
Um.
Have we walked the dog yet today?
Erica Rooney: Our cheer photos next week.
And by the way, this other one's
class picture is the week after that.
And then we have baseball triads.
But don't forget the other one's
gonna be outta town for cheer.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: The dog
still has to go to the vet.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: You haven't paid the
electric bill yet, it's due tomorrow.
And all the other things that
you're also doing at work.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Oh, and by the way, we have a two
birthday parties this weekend.
Oh, weekend.
Oh God.
The birthday party.
And who's gonna get the gifts, right?
Like it's like it never.
It's all of that.
So the way I think about a task, um, and
this is due to my work with the Fair play
method that we might, we might get into,
but it essentially has three components.
There's the conception, the
planning, and the execution.
I think of the mental load piece as
that conception and the planning Yes.
Part of the task.
Erica Rooney: Yes,
Tara Ryan: absolutely.
And that primarily the data, we'll
back this up primarily falls on women.
Erica Rooney: Absolutely.
So how I love this, but like how
is AI gonna help us with all this
Tara Ryan: it a lot, you know, like,
that's exciting answer is that a lot.
Um, and I think that a lot of
companies, uh, um, are, are being
created that address the, um.
The tactical aspect of that,
so the execution, that E
part, which is amazing, right?
Like there are so many tools.
We need our executors tools, we need
that because like if we can just
eliminate the execution, of course
that is going to be very helpful.
Um, but I think where there's an
opportunity and where confidant like we
really hope to the space we hope to play
in is that conception and that planning.
Right?
And making sure that you're doing
that part of the task, um, completion
from your values aligned space.
Erica Rooney: Oh my gosh.
Okay.
I'm so intrigued.
I know.
Okay.
I'm a mom.
I've got these two kids.
Yeah.
I'm gonna use confidant.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: Walk me through
this, like what am I going to, what
problems do I talk to it about?
How do I talk to it?
Tara Ryan: How does work?
Let, let's, well, if you're
open to this, are we, Kate?
Let's, let's do it.
Okay.
So if you were to just kind of reflect
back on a recent time, like that
gave you a little bit of pause or
stress, like what's kind of, what's
making your life difficult right now?
Erica Rooney: I know, I know.
Well, I mean, let's talk
about this conference, right?
I love it.
I'm so glad I'm here.
Yes.
But it's over the weekend.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: My son has his baseball
tournament this weekend, so what
am I doing then with my other kid?
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: By the way, that
tournament is an hour away, so
there's also the dog to think about.
Tara Ryan: Yes.
Erica Rooney: And then we're also
continually in that planning loop because
the baseball schedule depends on if
they win the game that is currently
going on right now as we speak.
Tara Ryan: Exactly.
So you have to clear the whole
Erica Rooney: I've gotta, yeah.
I gotta make sure there's
options available.
Yep.
For what times?
The games are where the dog's
gonna get taken care of.
If A happens, then I do B.
And if C happens, then I do D.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: So that's a lot of planning.
Plus I've got the flight to go home.
Yep.
Which let's hope that's on time.
Yep.
And then I've gotta do work tomorrow.
Oh, by the way, I have to
arrange carpool for two kids
before I leave here on Sunday.
Plus pay the tutor for my
kid on Monday and Wednesday.
But I almost forgot because Monday we
have doctor's appointments, so we're not
gonna have the tutor or afternoon carpool.
That's what, that's what's
on my brain right now.
Tara Ryan: Exactly right.
And that's what's on every woman
in mother's brain right now.
And so let's, okay, let's distill
it because we could go a million
different directions here.
But let's go da.
Let's go back to the very, very beginning
where you were given this opportunity.
Erica Rooney: Yes.
Tara Ryan: Right.
You're like, okay, I have the opportunity
to go to this conference, but I also
have all of these millions of other
obligations or things that I may want
to partake in that would make it so
that I can't go to the conference.
That makes it
Erica Rooney: hard.
Yeah.
Tara Ryan: Right.
Or makes it hard.
And so.
We want to be that space
where the mom unpacks that.
So it's like, okay, um, why do
you wanna go to the conference?
You know, sometimes we don't know you.
A mom may say, you know what?
I have all of these
things that I have to do.
Even if she really wants to go, even if
it's so important to her and she knows I'm
gonna learn so much at this conference,
I'm gonna gain so many new connections.
It's just impossible.
Right.
And, and.
Sure.
In some cases that may be the case,
but in some it may just be that she
needs a thought partner to help her
work out all the logistics that you
did work out in order to be here,
or the balls that you dropped.
Right?
It's also okay to set boundaries, and
so the hope is that confidant would
be the place to help her do that too.
Erica Rooney: Well, where, where I'm
seeing this go from my perspective
is also as women, I think we.
Feel like in business and when
these opportunities come up, we
have to say yes to everything that
Tara Ryan: side too.
Erica Rooney: Because if we don't,
then we're gonna be left out.
Tara Ryan: Totally
Erica Rooney: right?
Yep.
And so it sounds to me like the tool
would be really great for helping
me make the right decisions on
which things I need to say yes to.
Tara Ryan: Yep.
Erica Rooney: And which things
might be a not today thing.
Yes.
Tara Ryan: And for you.
Right.
Yeah.
And for that season, in that moment,
because if the, you know, like say
for example, this tournament that
your son was in, like it was the.
Biggest deal.
It was like dictating if he was gonna be
drafted to the major league baseball or
what?
I don't know.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Let's, let's just say
Erica Rooney: it was that Pivotal
Tara Ryan: thing.
Pivotal thing.
And you're in there and you're
feeling this pressure over
here to come to this be.
For a million different reasons,
because, well, I know the organizer
and it would mean a lot to her.
And there's also gonna be so many
people that I wanna connect with.
Maybe I'll, you know, strike
a huge business opportunity.
Who knows, right?
It's like the place where you can go to be
like, okay, all of these things are true.
But like in my body in this
moment, what feels best to me?
What feels the most aligned with the
path that I'm going to least regret?
Erica Rooney: You know?
Tara Ryan: Yeah.
Erica Rooney: Well, what I'm
hearing is peace of mind.
Tara Ryan: Yes.
Like
Erica Rooney: sleep
soundly, peace of mind.
Because I also know that after we
make the decision to do something,
like come to the conference, then
we're also constantly questioning
ourselves up until we go to the thing
of like, is this the right thing to do?
Yes.
Should I be doing it?
I'm still not sure.
And we often feel like we don't
know until after it's completed.
Tara Ryan: Right, because
you and, and then, right.
Like if you make a, I mean, at
least I can only speak for myself.
Right.
But when I make a decision from
a misaligned like values place.
Erica Rooney: Yes.
Tara Ryan: Yes.
That is when the resentment.
The frustration, the
anger starts to pop up.
And so you're here and you're, you're,
you're kind of resentful or you're not all
in it, and then you're not interviewing
your podcast guests with curiosity.
You're like, have all that energy in
the background that's impacting the way
that you're showing up in that moment.
And it would've just been like
better for everybody if you just
stayed true to your yourself and
what you, you really wanted to do.
And that's hard, and we
can't always do that.
And I think in my coaching practice,
you know, what was the most powerful
to me was that like, just starting to
have these conversations and like with
women and, and showing them that they
can make teeny tiny little choices
to insert themselves back into the
equation is like a snowball effect.
'cause then once you do
it, once it's like, ooh.
I might try that again.
You know, the world
didn't collapse, right?
Like, so that's,
Erica Rooney: I love it.
It feels like, I mean, I know
from my myself, it's often a very
reactive life that we lead, right?
Because like you said, a kid gets
sick or a school play pops up, or.
You know, there's a
teacher workday, who knows?
Tara Ryan: Yeah.
Yes.
Erica Rooney: And then it's like
everything falls to the wayside where
this feels a bit more proactive.
Like I can actually take back the reins.
Tara Ryan: Yeah.
Erica Rooney: To like Preki days.
Tara Ryan: Yes.
Erica Rooney: Preki
Tara Ryan: days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Erica Rooney: But I love that.
Oh my gosh.
Tara, what are you most excited
about with confidant coming up?
Tara Ryan: Just um.
Creating an alternative for moms, right?
So when, before we, um,
before we, we launched, right?
We did a lot of research and we talked
to a lot of moms and we asked them, where
are you going to help you make decisions?
Where are you going to get advice?
Like, and a lot of them said Reddit.
Um, and you know, Reddit, no
poo poo on Reddit, but like.
Okay.
You know, Reddit, Facebook groups,
um, and they were saying that,
you know, honestly they weren't as
helpful as we wanted them to be.
And sometimes we felt like there was
a lot of judgment and comparison and.
It was harder for us to make a
values aligned decision because of
kind of the pressure that we were
getting, um, from other people.
Erica Rooney: Well, there's so
much judgment when it comes to mod
Tara Ryan: so much.
Erica Rooney: I mean,
from the jump, right?
How are you gonna deliver?
Are you delivering naturally or
are you gonna have a c-section?
Okay.
After that, are you breastfeeding or not?
Because one way is right,
the other way is not.
And then everything else after that,
Tara Ryan: yes.
Erica Rooney: And so only
Tara Ryan: once you have your first child,
when are you having your next child?
Right.
Erica Rooney: Right.
And what schools are you putting 'em in?
Are they gonna be bilingual?
Yes.
And And the pressure never stops.
Tara Ryan: Yeah.
Erica Rooney: And so it seems like
this really just clears up that space.
Clears up that mental load.
Yes.
So you can actually
just be a present woman.
Tara Ryan: Yes.
Present.
I guess that's that like, that's
what my hope is, that like it gives
women the opportunity to be more
present in their lives, in whatever.
That moment is right.
If it's their career.
Their career in that moment.
Yeah.
If it's their kids, it's their kids.
In that moment, if it's with
themself, it's an inserting
themself back into the equation too.
Right.
And life is
Erica Rooney: fluid.
It's changing every minute of every day.
So that's such an important Yeah.
Feature of the AI tool, because it's
not gonna work the same at every spot.
Yes.
So I love that, and I'm honest.
I've never heard of any other AI
software out there that focuses on mos.
I'm not aware of any,
Tara Ryan: not specifically.
Erica Rooney: So, bro,
you dominate the market.
I love it.
You're dominating the market.
It's amazing.
Tara, thank you so much for
joining us here at the AI
Voicer Victim Podcast, y'all.
Again, we are live at MIT.
The energy is amazing here.
We've got incredible women
doing incredible things in ai.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for joining us
on AI, voice or victim.
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