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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hey guys, thanks for joining us. This is the Finding Hope podcast and we're Charlie and Jill LeBlanc. And we just want to welcome you and we just believe today's show will be a blessing to you. Yes. And you know, I love the title, Jill, that we chose, Finding Hope, because really hope is what is so easily lost. Yes. When you go through a loss like we have and like so many of you have, your hope seems to be gone.
And I love the fact that we called it finding hope because I was reading actually a little bit earlier out of Romans 12 where it says hope being the anchor of our soul. And really it is an anchor for our heart, for our soul, for our broken heart to have hope. And we need that. We all need it. We certainly do. If we don't have hope, it's really hard to move forward. Yeah.
if we're hopeless. Yeah, we've seen that song and we've talked about it many times that I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living. And that's the truth. It's like, it's so easy to lose hope when you're going through tragedy, when you're going through difficult times, when your prayers seem unanswered, when things aren't going quite the way you know they should be. You can get a little upset.
and you can get hopeless. And so we know that many of you have struggled with hope. I know we were talking with a friend of ours who lost her husband, and that's what she said. She said hope. was just, I was hopeless. I didn't know how I would make it. I didn't know how I would move forward. And that's a big deal. Yeah. Whether it comes suddenly, like,
another widow friend of ours who lost her husband suddenly, she became hopeless. mean, she was just, she didn't know what she was gonna do day after day. And then like the one you were referring to, her husband succumbed to a slow death, which was very sad. So even though she saw it coming,
She still found herself there. Of course, because once they're gone, you're like, what now? What do I do? And it's just horrible. But you know, Jesus is the hope of glory. He is our only hope. Yeah, He is. He's so faithful. you know, He is faithful. He will bring us through the most difficult times in our life. And you know, there's a scripture that...
that jumped out of the page to me, it's a little bit off the hope side, but it's more on the patience and hope. And the scripture says, that we ourselves boast of you among the churches of God for your patience and faith in all of your trials and tribulations that you endure. And I was thinking about this the other day that, you know, when we go through these,
hard times and we start dealing with grief over the loss of a loved one. You know, many people have written us in and they've said, it's been five years. You know, it still hurts. And we have dear friends that it's been eight years and they still hurt. We have others that sat down with us after a year and said, okay, I made it a year after losing my son. What can I expect now?
So that happens to the best of us, doesn't it? I forgot to put the... Do not disturb. Yeah, do not disturb. Focus, there we go. So anyway, yeah, and that one sister said, you know, I've made it a year, you know, what can I expect? For the second year. Yeah, and it's just, it's so hard to predict.
But one thing that we know from our own personal experience is that grief can go for a long time. It can last a really long time. you know, for us, we lost our son, 23 years old. The pain of it was beyond words. And the pain of the loss, we've said it many times, it's kind of equal to the
the love and the relationship that you have with that person. And you know, some people, their relationship, you know, it's not, it's okay, but I mean, they've been married a long time and, know, they're in their eighties and they lose their loved one. And it's not as devastating, but some it is, for some it is. It all depends on the person, the personalities,
the heart, the relationship, and even it also deals with the struggle. Because if you've been taking care of your loved one for years and then they pass, you feel a little guilty because you almost feel a relief that they're gone because it's been so hard. I think that's another whole podcast we could do is how hard it is for the caregivers.
That is a really big deal. yeah. Yeah, I remember a family who had a special needs son that from the time he was born, he needed so much care and so much care. And I think he passed away at like 18 or something like that. And they had several other children, but that was their family thing was taking care of Jonathan.
Yes. And he finally passed away and they were all so dumbfounded because this had been their life. Yes. Was taking care of him. Yes. And, for the older children, you know, that were beginning to get married and move out of the home and things, know, it wasn't quite the same, but the ones that were still in the house. But they all mourned his loss. Of course.
Even though he was special needs, he couldn't really communicate, but they just loved him so much and it was very hard on them. So it's all about the relationship, like you said. really is. We got a text today actually about a young lady that passed away that have been, I don't know if you call it a coma, Bob enjoyed Nichols daughter.
Janet. We just got a message today and she was in a terrible accident years ago. Yes. And has been bedridden. Pretty much. For... What's it been, 20 years? 20 years. Something like that. And then she developed brain trauma, kind of like a Parkinson's or something, you know, just because of all of it, all of the... Yeah.
trauma to her body and her brain. Anyway, we learned that she just passed away. And they took care of her. had nurses and people in her home for 20 years. took care of her. And you know, we got the news today actually. you know, my first time I saw the text, went, no. But I thought, yeah, you know, what a joy for her to get free from her body.
and to just run up to heaven. Her mom and dad who took care of her for so many years, actually both of them passed in the last 10 years. And so she was, think with her sister or with a care facility. so, yeah, so that in one sense, we do mourn her loss. We mourn the whole situation of her life, but at the same time for her.
It's such a victory to be out of that body. to be in the presence of Jesus is just amazing. So, know, that's the differences in losses. And we were talking a lot about that today, just that the different friends of ours who've lost their husbands or their wives, and every situation is different and it brings on different dynamics. We have two close...
dear friends of mine who both lost their wives in the last year. you know, both of them, was traumatic, just traumatic. And both of them had family around them, but still there was so much difference. And then we know many, many widows and every one of them is a different scenario. It's very unique. One of them was out in California, didn't have any family at all.
But her husband thankfully left a good life insurance policy. that wasn't the pain, that doesn't fix. There's not one thing that fixes everything, that's for sure. But thankfully she didn't have that financial issue, but she was lonely. She was there out there by herself. She was dealing with all kinds of stuff. was back to a home alone. And then we have other dear friends who they have, one of them has a handicapped child.
And, and, you know, the husband died and she was left. She's left with this situation. And, and then, you know, the other one, and they had, and this particular one has no family around her at all. You know, has no, no support whatsoever, just a few friends. And then we have one, another widow friend of ours who, who had family around, you know, but the husband didn't leave life insurance. So.
It's struggle there. So God help us. We need the hope of Jesus Christ in the midst of all these terrible, painful things. And again, back to the subject of how long, it just takes a while to get to this stuff. It really does. For me, it wasn't until the 10th anniversary of those passing that I began to feel
And it wasn't immediate. was, it was, I actually looked back. We went away, you know, we're in Northeast Florida and we rented a place just, you know, about 45 minutes from home, just on the beach and our family came and went for the weekend, depending on their schedules. And we just, we just wanted to get a little reprieve from the norm and just have a place where we could just, you know.
Be away. So we did that and it was really nice time. and nothing was was really, you know, nothing really stuck out in my mind as being amazing or super, super, you know, special. But looking back after we went away from that weekend, we went home, everyone got into their daily norms. And probably later that week, I just
began to feel a lightness in my heart, in my soul, just like something was different and something was a little better. And that was 10 years. That's amazing. you know, I didn't cry a whole lot after 10 years, even coming up to that point, but I just always had a little bit of heaviness on me.
There was just always that underlying grief. And that's what felt lighter after that time. Praise God. And I was so thankful to God. Whereas you felt after about three years or so. a half, about three and a half. That you just kind of. Yeah, I felt hope come back to where I could begin to dream again for the first time. could envision.
us ministry again, although we had been starting to worship again for several years. But as far as my own personal, I was doing it in a mode of just sustaining myself, of just, I wasn't in robotic mode, but I was engaged, but it was like, I couldn't dream and have vision for the future until three and a half years into it.
Which really is pretty quick. I mean, looking back, especially compared to me. so, you back to you had mentioned about this person that wrote in recently that said it's been five years and it's still so painful. And I get that. And that's the way it is for some people. And you were talking about just being patient with the process. Yeah, I think that's something that we
we forget so often is, obviously we've said so many times, you don't get over this, you move forward. But there is a patience that we have to embrace when you're going through grief because it doesn't just go away. It's like the old song, I've said this before, it's so high, you can't get over it, it's so low, you can't get under it, it's so wide, you can't get around it, you gotta go through the door.
And we've said that many times because it's so true that you can't get around grief. You have to go right through it with the help of God, with the help of God's strength, the help of God's comfort, the peace of God with His strength. there's no way it happens to the best of us, know? Not everybody. Some people, I mean, they just wade through it and then they're well in no time. And praise God for that. I'm so happy for you.
But for most of us, it just takes a long time. And there's patience that is needed because you have to realize it's kind of like, was thinking, like if you have heart surgery, which basically it is when you lose a loved one, if you're cut open, understand. I've never had it. Thank God. And I won't, but they break your sternum or something and they have to go in and fix your heart. we have a dear friend right now that that's
that just came out of surgery, heart surgery, and he's thankfully doing better every hour. They're taking him off the vent and, you know, he's doing better. But it's traumatic, a traumatic situation. And, know, that just takes time to mend. And it's the same thing with our hearts are broken, our hearts are shattered. One of the scriptures translation says shattered.
You know, it just takes time. You can be laying in that hospital bed with these stitches down you and you're like, you know, I want to get up, I want to go, I want to be better, I want this to be behind me. grief just takes time sometimes, and you just have to let it do its thing. It's like you can't rush the healing. Jesus is there to heal broken hearts.
And he is, I was thinking about that this morning, Jill, if we talked like, Jesus is like, He's there to comfort you and to help you in the midst of your pain and your grief. And He's in communion with you in this process as He's pouring on the oil and everything, the bandages. He's there nursing you. And we have to love and respect that healing process.
and not get mad or get frustrated because we're not better sooner. You have to just go through it. We have a dear friend who just lost his wife, a good friend of ours, and he's frustrated, he's lonely, he's trying to get through this and it's tough. And he's doing things for the first time alone and he just does not know how to get through it.
And we love on him, we do everything we can to love on all of you listening as well. But it's like, we know that this process just takes time. I would say the most important thing that I finally came to was just, when I wept and I wept a lot, I just wept knowing that there was no condemnation.
knowing that there was no condemnation for sadness, for grief. You brought up the scripture this morning about Paul and the prophetic. Yeah, in Philippians, I was actually... Let's see, that's fine. There's no shame in sorrow when it's for the right reason. There's no shame in grief when it's for the right reason. It's okay. It's okay to cry. We talk about that a lot. It's okay.
You know, it's okay to mourn. says, blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Blessed are those who mourn. It's like we get this feeling that it's wrong to grieve. It's wrong to cry. It's wrong to mourn. No, Jesus said, blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. you can't be comforted unless you're mourning. You know what saying? Yeah. Paul was writing to the Philippians and I know we've referred to the scripture a lot, but not everyone hears every episode.
And so, and even if you've heard every episode, it's still good. It's good But he was telling them about Epaphroditus, who they really loved and was someone working with Paul. And so he said,
Meanwhile, I thought I should send Epaphroditus back to you. He is a true brother, a co-worker and fellow soldier. He was your messenger to help me in my need. I am sending him because he's been longing to see you and he was very distressed that you heard he was ill. And he certainly was ill. In fact, he almost died, but God had mercy on him and also on me so that I would not have one sorrow after another.
Yeah. And I was looking at, that's the New Living Translation. I looked over in the Passion Translation. Yeah. And it was pretty powerful there, except I didn't get the reference. What verse was it? It didn't translate over very well. 2... I know it's 2... 27. There you go. Philippians 2.27 for your Bible study.
Yes. And okay, so in passion, it's a little bit different, but it's still good. It says, it's true that he almost died, but God showed him mercy and healed him. And I'm so thankful to God for his healing as I was spared from having the sorrow of losing him on top of all of my other troubles. So, you know, there's all kinds of complications that come in. Not only would Paul have mourned
losing Epaphroditus, but just how integral and crucial he was to the work that they were doing together. So all kinds of ingredients go into living through a loss. Yes, absolutely. if Paul, a great man of God said, I'm so glad he didn't die because it would mean sorrow upon sorrow, it shows us that even us, that we're
sorrow upon sorrow is normal. And I guess one of the things we like to affirm you in this broadcast is just that grief is normal, tears are normal, mourning is normal when you've lost a dear loved one. And it will get better, it will get easier in time. We're 17 years out. I have pictures of my son, all over the place. I see him in my studio, in my office. have him
on my dresser at bedtime. see a big picture of him there. And people would say, don't do that, don't do that to yourself. Well, no, hey, I'll do what I wanna do. And it doesn't hurt me now. I I look at him, I say, what's up, Bo? I smile at him. I think about him in heaven. I think about the joy. I can't wait to go see him. I think about the joy that he's having in heaven. And you know.
It doesn't hurt as bad. And I see got a picture of him playing drums in my studio. And I think, man, he was a good drummer. I sure do miss that. I miss him. Yes. And I don't, it's not, I'm not afraid to say I miss him. I'm not, Oh God, I'm going to fall back into sorrow and I'm going to fall back into grief. No, you know, I'm not, I don't have to, I don't have to go all that, that far. You know, there is a difference between grief and depression. Oh yeah.
So, I want to point that out, because—now, we're getting a little off course here, but I feel strong about talking about this a little bit. Because we do have an enemy. We do have an enemy who roams about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. And we talk about this a lot, that in Luke, Jesus says, Satan has desired to sift you as wheat, Peter, but I've prayed that your faith fail not.
There is an aspect of when we get hit with tragedy in our life that the enemy, and we talked about that this morning too, tries to come in and destroy you. wants to take, you know, the enemy is, he's never happy with just taking one out. He wants to take everybody out. He wants to destroy your relationships and your family. He wants to destroy your marriage. He wants to take my life, my wife's life. He wants to, he doesn't want to stop.
And so there is spiritual warfare in this situation that we have to realize that there's a difference between what I would call healthy grief, grief that is done in the presence of God with the Lord holding you. The scripture says He suffers when we suffer. So He's with us in that journey. He's with us through the valley of the shadow of death. He'll never leave us or forsake us.
That is a grief that I think is healthy and whole. we also talk about the fact that the relationship that you have with your Heavenly Father during this time of grief is a very holy thing. Jesus is leaning over your hospital bed, taking care of you, and you're thanking Him.
And there's a beautiful thing. Now, you're not all the way healed yet. Your wounds are still there, but He's taking care of you. And there's a sweet intimacy there that we need to recognize and appreciate versus someone coming in and says, stop that grief. So here's what we've been hearing. We've been hearing things about the spirit of grief. I rebuke that spirit of grief. I rebuke this spirit. We command that spirit of grief to get off you. Well, I don't see anywhere in the Bible.
anywhere where it references grief as being an evil spirit in any way, shape, form. The Bible says that we don't grieve like those who have no hope, praise God. You know, we talked about hope at the beginning. We do have hope in Christ. It feels hopeless at times, but we have to turn our hearts to Jesus, the hope of glory. But we still grieve. We still can grieve. We still can mourn. We still can go through
difficulty. So we just wanted to affirm you today and just let you know that we love you. We understand. We have materials that can help you. You know, I was reading through a bunch of testimonies today of people who have gotten our book, who have listened through our podcast and have been really, really blessed and helped through it. And so we're so grateful that the little bit that we have to share
is helping some of you and we're honored to do so. So we just wanted to say thank you for listening to our podcast and we want to encourage you to go to our website charlieandjill.com and see all the materials we have concerning grief support. We have a USB with some great things on it, scripture references. We have music that'll minister and enrich your soul.
And then we also have a Finding Hope Partner Program for those of you who have the financial needs and you're healthy enough to where you want to partner with us and help us reach others. You see what we're doing. You see where our hearts are. So if you have the financial needs and you can partner with us, man, praise God, that would help us so much. This is a whole new season we're moving into. We're not out there.
singing in churches all over the world like we used to, although we do still have some traveling this year, but not like we used to. so the income is not quite what it used to be. So partnership is very important for us, for people to get alongside us and support what we're doing here on these podcasts, what we're doing through our emails, what we're doing through our Facebook and social media posts. And so we're just trying to reach as many as we can. So.
We appreciate you so much. we do pray for you that you would just realize that God loves you and that you will get through this. Just hang in there, be patient in this process. Yeah, let's pray. Father, we know that you are the God of all comfort and you are the God of hope. And so I pray for our friends that are watching and listening.
Lord God, I pray that you reveal yourself to them all in a special way so that they can see that you are the God of all comfort. They can experience your comfort firsthand and they can receive a new wave of hope for their hearts to help them walk out each day. faith, the anchor of faith is hope. And if we are hopeless, our faith doesn't have anything to grab on to.
It's so crucial. So we thank you that you are just so loving and merciful and patient and kind to us. And we receive all of that. We thank you that you are reaching out with healing all day long to us and just wanting to hold us so that you can just bring help to us. And so we receive that Lord help us to not ever stray from.
what you wanna do in and through us. We thank you for your grace to help us walk out each day. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Thank you. Praise the Lord. Amen. Well, we sure do love you and we appreciate you and we thank you for watching our podcast and we'll be back again next Tuesday. So God bless you.