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Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center’s podcast dedicated to empowering parents and their kids as they navigate mental health challenges. Through insightful discussions, expert advice, and engaging storytelling, we provide the tools and support needed to foster resilience, self-discovery, and emotional well-being.
Each episode features two segments:
🦸♂️ For Parents – Practical strategies, expert insights, and real conversations to help caregivers support their child’s mental and emotional growth.
🌟 For Kids – Interactive storytelling and discussions centered around unlocking their inner hero, overcoming obstacles, and building confidence.
Together, we break stigmas, encourage open dialogue, and equip families with the knowledge to thrive. Because every hero’s journey starts with a conversation.
#CapesAndConversations #UnlockTheHeroWithin #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingSupport #BuildingFutures
00:00:01 Welcome to Capes and Conversations, the Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center podcast. I'm Adam Kotowski, clinical director. And I'm Megan Rose McMullen, MS. This podcast is a conversation about mental health and wellness. Okay. So we're talking about the analogy that your sink, your, what is it? Your ship only sinks if you let it. You want to tell us about that? Sure. So you, you look at the way a ship is, is engineered and made. A ship is designed to travel forever. Really, that's how they're made. The only way any ship ever sinks is if water gets inside of it. Now, how it gets in, there's multiple different ways that that can happen, but inevitably, the ship has a boundary, which is the hull and the base of the ship, and that boundary is created, you know, through technology and obviously engineering, but really, unless it runs aground or runs into something or, you know, something taps into it, there's no way water's getting inside of it.
00:00:56
Well, it's the same for you. You can only... Holy sick. and put the weight of the world on your shoulders if you allow it. Nobody else can do that for you. So you have to realize how powerful you are in that you are the one that can displace water. And the second part of the ship is it stays afloat and it travels forever by displacing. That's what it does because it's made of steel, concrete, and all these ridiculous amounts of weighted items that if you put a piece of it in there, it just sinks right to the ocean floor, right?
00:01:26
But the design of a ship is to displace water. So I always say when you can displace what other people are thinking, saying, and we'll go over examples, then it'll never sink you. And you take the actual message for what it is. This actually reminds me, did you watch Encanto? A while back, yeah. You know Luisa, the strong one, where she carries everything in a dongles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she sings that song about surface pressure. She's singing about how she knows her worth.
00:01:59
And she's... really strong and she holds all this stuff whatever and then but it's a lot of pressure right right and when she actually gets time she talks about how the ship like will hit an iceberg and like you but you have to navigate that you have to go through that right and one of the things that she realizes is like eventually is that maybe she's holding on to too much on our shoulders and then she needs to find joy and relaxation right and so when this comes to them out there navigating the world how are they supposed to not let these.
00:02:37
bullies get to them or the fact that they keep failing a test or how is that that's supposed to get inside well it's not easy by any means and I'm not going to sit here and try to tell you it is easy but it's worth it how do you do it it's called consistency you have to start with knowing your own worth and your own value, Think of this. Super Bowl was last night. You take one of those linemen on either team, average size 6'8", probably 6'6". I got to say 300 to 350. You try to put them on a horse in the Kentucky Derby as a jockey, they are not going to do well. They're not, right? So they are NFL linemen and are, you know, Super Bowl and phenomenal. But you put them on a horse, they're just not effective. You have to know, number one, your role. So that's why you stop comparison.
00:03:31
You know, because a jockey in the Kentucky Derby is probably about 5' to 4'9", and probably weighs 100 pounds, because that's what a horse can glide and carry, right? Now you put a jockey in a football uniform, it's over, right? It's crushed. It's over. Squished like a bug. So, you know, I say that because you have to know where your value is. You've got to stop comparing yourself to other people. Just because you try to compare yourself to other people, you're not going to be able to compare yourself to other people. to somebody else it doesn't mean you're deficient it doesn't mean you're.
00:04:03
ineffective right Albert Einstein said that everybody's a genius but if you would try to judge a fish's ability to climb a tree it's gonna think it's stupid it's so true a fish was not made to climb a tree fish goes into the water and it literally swims everywhere that's what they're engineered for we all are engineered to do great things but we have to find our calling so the first thing is to find your value and your worth through your calling and what you know you are good at second thing is stop comparing yourself you are not them it's a waste of time all right the third thing is consistency now Megan think of.
00:04:40
this if you brush your teeth for one day do you have healthy teeth not necessarily correct you brush your teeth for one week you still don't have healthy teeth but you're getting better somewhere in the consistency of every day for several months to a year you're gonna have healthy teeth because you did it every day, Right. Because that's what's needed. That's what's needed. You start working out, depending if your parents and doctors approve. You go and try to see muscle structure or you try to get into a shape that you want to.
00:05:13
Are you going to see results after a day? No. Are you going to see results after a week? More than likely not. Maybe not even a month. You have to do it every day consistently. And then all of a sudden results just show. That goes for school. That goes for life. That goes for trust with friends. There is no metric for it. You just have to stay persistent and consistent over time. Right. An example of this would be like Mulan. You want to watch her? Oh, yeah. Her parents wanted her to be like a doll and painted up and find marriage and that kind of thing.
00:05:49
And then she's like, nah, this isn't for me. And so she goes into the army or whatever. And then she's struggling because she's kind of weak, right? Right. She's like, can I do this? But then one day she's like, you know what I'm not gonna give up and they were like making fun of her because she was like, Weak or whatever and then she climbed all the way to the top and then she became the one the warrior, right? Like she was like, but she did that over weeks and months of training. She didn't didn't go now I'm a warrior. This is who I'm supposed to be, you know.
00:06:19
She had to show up over and over again Even when it was hard even when she didn't feel like it even when it was scary Right, and I think that that on top of consistency is really what resilience is Right, which is one of the reasons why it's super important to have build resiliency When you're trying not to let your ship sink, correct? Well resilience is character too So you show your character by that persistence and realizing no, is it easy?
00:06:51
Absolutely not. It's worth it. Now in this day and age with technology, It is very very easy, for others to make you or try to make you feel inferior it just is they call cyberbullying that is unfortunately part of what we see today but it's it is a reality yet were you the one who's listening to this where you are in control is you still don't have to let that in when someone gives you a gift of.
00:07:26
any kind and you don't accept the gift it's not your gift it's theirs they you can't it it's not a gift until you accept it and that's the same thing if they're bullying or if they're saying things to you or if they're you know making fun whatever might be you if you don't accept it if you displace it it's their gift it's not yours yeah I mean it's the old thing is what's wrong rubber your glue what you say this to bounce off me sticks to you yeah funny time we learned that in school when I was a kid but there's truth to it it's if I'm the public.
00:07:59
accept it, it's yours. So say what you want. Now, again, is all this easy, especially when you have a group of people, you know, ganging up and trying to say stuff to you? No, it's not. But where your character forms is when you show that you keep moving forward, you do not accept their gift, and you create what you call your present moment future greatness. You know, you're extraordinary. Who you are. You define who you are by focusing on you and what you need to do persistently every day to get better. Yeah. And if you're not.
00:08:30
really sure who you are, or what you like, or what you're good at, or what your gifts are, there's things that you can do, right? You can look around your life and what you find joy in, what really gets you excited, what you're good at, what you want to spend time with, right? You can do this. You can also ask, like, you know, come here and learn things here. Or you can ask your parents to, like, to try new things and explore that way, too. you like something it doesn't matter if you're good at it or not you just show up like i don't.
00:09:05
know have you ever seen these um kids well they're adults now but like they show when they were 11 and they every year they drew the same thing over and over again so at 12 13 14 15 18 and you can see their progress right it just shows like it's a skill so whether you're doing math or whether you're doing science or whether you're doing art of some kind if you show up every day consistently, whether you feel like it or not you're gonna get better at that you're gonna get better at it no.
00:09:37
matter what it is whether it's a sport whether it's school whether it's to therapy right if you do it every day whether you're scared or tired or hungry you're gonna get better at it and it's going to get easier and it's going to get that like more fun, it's going to be like just something that comes naturally absolutely, The absolute truth to that is you have to keep going and you have to do it with an attitude, that we forget. I always say if you check on a kid in the backyard who has a superhero t-shirt, they.
00:10:11
never fail. They just keep at it. So even though it doesn't go the way they want it to and when you become a teenager and you go through puberty and you start taking on more of the ego and beliefs from other people, you forget that when you were that kid in the backyard, there's nothing you would fail at. You just kept doing it. And you never lost your attitude about it, like I'm going to do it again, I'm going to do it again. That's where you have to get back to is just be persistent and consistent and keep doing it and no matter what, you're going to get better at it, period.
00:10:44
And that's what you see like the young kids in sports, like people who are gymnasts, people who are snowboard or athletes or whatever, they don't just quit because it's hard. They don't quit because they might have an injury. right they heal themselves they get better stronger food working out better muscles more sleep right they start really it's their whole hero's journey the same thing if you watch any hero like spider-man right miles moral morales or whatever his name is he he wants to do good.
00:11:20
but the first time he failed if he would have just quit he wouldn't have became spider-man so I think it's a good reminder that like we are the heroes in our own journeys and like we need to show up and we need to keep going and we need to ask for help when we don't know because we don't know at all we don't we don't and excuse me getting tips and you know suggestions and ideas from other people is a brilliant thing too because it can add to what we already are trying right there might be one suggestion or tip that somebody gives you this is oh my gosh that's the difference.
00:11:51
right there so I'll be open to you know correctiveness be open to I, ideas and suggestions from other people but make sure it meshes with everything that you're already working on, Or it's people that you really care about, not the people that don't matter. If they're not in your friend group, if they're not part of your tribe, then don't listen to them. But when they are part of your tribe, tell them about the coach yelling at the kid and how to flip that, I think the kernel of truth. Well, you know, we had recently, I work with a lot of student athletes, and I had a kid call me, and, you know, he's very distraught.
00:12:22
because his coach was really getting on him for basketball. And he, you know, probably called him some names and said some pretty direct things to the young man. And, you know, all I said was, well, what's the benefit of that coach communicating to you like that? And what do you mean benefit? You know, like I stunned him. I said, well, there's got to be a benefit. Tell me what you think it is. After a while of thinking and working together on it, he cares. A coach, if he's going to yell at you or she's going to yell at you, that means they care about you.
00:12:53
Okay, now, can the communication always be better? Of course. And emotional reactions to things, if we're not, you know, being. yell that but it's never going to be a great message but that's where the ship comes in where you displace the emotion the anger the frustration and you take in the message oh he or she cares about me okay so then what do i have to do follow this correctness and go to this and a lot of times it's actually they see your potential they see how good you could be how smart and strong and talented how much it would be how much you would grow as a human if you put a little bit more time.
00:13:29
or you weren't as distracted or if you had help where you're getting help outside of just that local time that you're spending on your team maybe you need a tutor and then see that you could be really good at math if you were just putting a little bit more effort into it and sometimes i think we get kind of scared to try things that might challenge us outside of what we're just naturally good at, but i think it's really important to remember that like everything is a skill it's an ability that you can grow it's a muscle you just have to keep.
00:14:00
practicing it and no because you have that experience where someone called you stupid and if you would have listened to that you would not be where you are today absolutely when I was I grew up in Northside Chicago with a great school and high school I want to is just not uncommon for you know private schools for them to say Adam you're stupid you know but I always looked at the you just nailed it with your benefit so we have caring and then we had well they want you to be your potential the communication itself stunk by saying I was stupid but when I just placed that and I filtered that it was just like I.
00:14:33
want you to be better okay and then you got all the good grades and you had all the things yeah I did well academically I did well athletically is because I just never settled and you know I'm standardized tests I didn't do well I mean I just did but that didn't mean I was bad I went above and beyond anybody's expectations because I never settled right an example of this the last example I have this is Harry Potter I mean his aunt and uncle and you know I'm not going to lie I'm not going to lie, Cousin literally was like you're stupid and worthless and live in a cupboard like and he was like.
00:15:05
Oh, and then when someone came along with the opportunity He's like I'm gonna jump on this and even though that he'd been told his whole life that he was worthless He was like wait a second. I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna go to school. It's gonna be hard. I'm gonna learn new things I'm gonna be, Outcast or bullied and he just kept going he kept learning and growing and and I think that that's really the message that we have here today, which is like, Despite all of all the things that are hard you can do hard things you can do hard things like that's what you're capable.
00:15:37
It's amazing what you can do if you just keep trying you you will be amazed at what you can promote yourself to be, By not accepting any of the deficiencies that you or others place on you and just say, okay What am I capable of and you just focus on that capability and you take the messages you displace any negativity, Just place what other people are saying about you from well-meaning others and filter and say, they care and I can do better.
00:16:08
Then that's right. Boom. You're already starting to promote yourself to who you can be by taking that with you. Yeah. And if you're ready to do better and you're ready to explore your own hero's journey, then your adventure awaits here. Absolutely. Come to Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center. Absolutely. We're always here. All right. See you next time. Thank you for listening to Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center podcast, Capes and Conversations. If you or someone you know is challenged, struggling, or needs someone to talk to, you matter, you are important, and please reach out to us via our website or social media, which can be found in our show notes. And if you have a topic of conversation about a favorite character's heroic journey, please let us know, as we would love to talk about it on our show. Until next time, unlock the hero within, your adventure awaits with us.