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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us today. This is the Finding Hope podcast.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes.
Jill LeBlanc:Getting Through What You Never Asked For.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right.
Jill LeBlanc:Yep. And that's a big subject.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. And that's what we've been trying our best to do. You know, the scripture tells us spoke to us real specifically in 2 Corinthians, the first chapter, the third and fourth verse, he said comfort others, in the fourth verse, comfort others with the same comfort that you've received from the Lord. And the Lord has truly helped us and brought us through a devastating loss, as many of you are familiar with it, and so our hope, our prayer, is that we can be a comfort to you. You know, the scripture in Proverbs just means so much to me as well.
Charlie LeBlanc:It says, Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. And I know there have been several people that have written to us about the, on YouTube in particular, about these podcasts after they have listened to them, and it's really ministered to them, and that blesses us so much.
Jill LeBlanc:Sure does.
Charlie LeBlanc:I thought I would read a couple of them for you, just so you can tell your friends as well. I'm sure this podcast is helping you like these, but a good friend of mine said, Just a note of encouragement, Charlie, I just finished this week's episode. It was so loving, so kind, so compassionate. Keep up the amazing work.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, I texted him back and said, Thank you, thank you, thank you, because we do our best and we work hard to get these podcasts in a place that'll help you, and sincerely be transparent with you about our journey, about our brokenness, about our pain, and yet also the beauty of God's love, compassion, and comfort that has brought us through. And then another person, another friend actually, and this broke my heart, she said, Today is the eighth year anniversary since we lost our son Jimmy, and she's got a crying emoji there, which brought me to tears. She said, Something that we both thought we could never live through.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's real true. Because of our wonderful comforter, Jesus, we can breathe. Life as we know it will never be the same, but the Lord restores joy in the midst of suffering. I pray that everyone that doesn't know Him would experience His love and devotion to their broken hearts. We live because He lives.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:We love you guys.
Jill LeBlanc:Wow.
Charlie LeBlanc:So this was a dear friend, and I didn't even know that she was watching the podcast, but we remember when she lost her son, and just how devastated she was, and her family. You know, there's just no words. One of those phrases that you hear, there are no words. Well, there are just no words for some of these tragic losses. You know, people lose their children, people, kids that have got cancer.
Jill LeBlanc:Car. Car accidents.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. It it goes on.
Jill LeBlanc:Random accidents and drug overdoses.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right. They're just no words.
Jill LeBlanc:I love what how she pointed to Jesus because I don't know how people survive losing a child without the Lord.
Charlie LeBlanc:I don't either. I know for me and you, I know we had a little bit different journeys of grief and pain and and how we responded to it, but I know for me, I wanted to hang it all up, you know, I wanted to forget it all, and I wanted to run under a bridge downtown St. Louis and just drink myself to death. But yes, the Bible says we grieve as those with hope. We don't grieve like those who have no hope, but we do grieve with hope, and thank God, I mean, I agree, Jill, I don't know how, I don't know where we'd be today if we didn't know Jesus and didn't know his comfort and his love. And so praise God. So he is there, he is the comforter.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes, he is.
Charlie LeBlanc:He is the helper. So we need to- That's what we're centering on, on this broadcast as much as we can.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. So there's a quote that we heard attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt. We don't know for sure if he's the one who did it up, but we've shared it before on these episodes, but people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. And so we're talking this month about being a good first responder, and that is such an important subject. In fact, the Lord just dropped that on your heart about less than a month ago.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And I saw you just typing away at your computer about being a good first responder, and in fact we're gonna be putting out a couple of newsletters this month as well about that, about this whole subject. But it's so vitally important, number one, that we respond quickly and that we respond well.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm. So huge.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, one thing I wrote about in our book, we cover these subjects in our book, and we're gonna read some little portions of it to you. But one of the things that I wrote about that, you know, when people so often don't know what to say to someone else who has experienced loss, and it's very crucial that we figure it out.
Jill LeBlanc:Because the first responses that you have can make or break their heart or their respect of you. And it's very important to just have some things tucked away in your heart that you can respond with in a meaningful manner. But but one thing that's not a great first response is how are you doing? Because how are you? Whenever someone would ask me that, how are you how are you, Jill?
Jill LeBlanc:You know, I just it would take me right back to my the center of my grief. It would make me sad. And, you know, many times, especially early on, I was like, well, how the heck do you think I'm doing? You know, it was like, I, my son just died. How do you expect me to be doing?
Charlie LeBlanc:Or the or worse than that, you doing good? Oh. You doing good? That phrase alone is a tough one, because what do you say to that? No. And what did you say?
Jill LeBlanc:Someone came up to me and asked me that after about three months, and I said, No, I'm not doing good. We've talked about it before, but you know, Anyway, he just kinda said, Okay, okay, okay, God bless you.
Charlie LeBlanc:And a lot of it is the tone in your voice when you say, back to what you said earlier about
Jill LeBlanc:How are you?
Charlie LeBlanc:How are you doing? Like because a good friend of mine, John Donnelly, when we were in England, he put his hand on my hand across from the dinner table he said, Charlie, how are you really doing?
Jill LeBlanc:And that's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. But it was the way he said it.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:It wasn't trivial like, how you doing? You know, how you doing? Or-
Jill LeBlanc:Or even just how are you?
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, and if you're if if it's someone that you're very close with, you can take a few moments and open up and just share, you know, wow. This week's really been rough. But if if your relationship with that person is not super close, that's not the best way to start a conversation.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:But maybe a better first response would be, Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. We have prayed for you so much, and I just cannot believe you're having to go through this. We're we're so sorry that your husband died, and and we're just holding you so close in prayer. You know, say something meaningful that will touch their hearts because those kinds of responses to me, oh my gosh, it meant so much.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. And might I add, you can say their name.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know?
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:I can't imagine how you must feel going to your home without Rich there. You know? Again, as you mentioned earlier, brought me back to that painful place.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, that's a
Jill LeBlanc:It depends.
Charlie LeBlanc:Grief is a very complicated situation.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes, it is.
Charlie LeBlanc:It's complicated in the sense that everyone grieves differently and things that affect one person don't, like you love to look at pictures of Beau right after he passed, and I didn't wanna look at him because it just increased the pain when I saw those, but it blessed you and it blessed Cammy. Now I love, I love pictures, I love anything. Beau was a musician, I love listening to his music.
Jill LeBlanc:Because there's only so many pictures out there, you know? No new ones.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, but it's complicated, and there is no set answer to all of these, but we're doing our best here to give you things that helped us in moments and didn't help us in other moments.
Jill LeBlanc:Right. And I'd like to read a couple things to you from our book. This is in our it's it's our book When Loss Comes Close To Home, and it's to help people that are walking through loss, as well as those that are walking beside the ones walking through loss so that you can be a better supporter.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And this chapter is called guidelines to help your grieving friend.
Jill LeBlanc:And there's just like I was saying, there's so many things that you can just kind of have have ready, on the ready, just so that you can be an effective helper to your friend. So instead of asking a question, maybe just tell them something like like what I said earlier. You know, just tell just say, I know there are no words to help, but please know we're so sorry and our hearts ache or break for you. Or I can't imagine all you're going through. We are just so sorry for all of your pain or your heartache. It's got to be unbearable at times. Just acknowledging what it must be like for them.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:I don't know what to say, but I love you. And you can talk to me anytime about John. Whenever you like, I would be honored for them to just feel like you're safe enough to open up to.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:Or I've never walked this road, so I can't really fully relate to how you feel, but it's got to be so horrible. My prayers will certainly bit be with you in the coming weeks and months, and that means so much.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And then don't forget to pray.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:Because they will need your prayers ongoing. You know, a lot of people think that after the funeral and after everyone goes home that had come in and life returns to normal, it doesn't return to normal for the one who's who's been left behind. And that's just the beginning of their journey, really.
Charlie LeBlanc:Is it ever?
Jill LeBlanc:So I encourage you just to stay in there and be proactive. We talked in the last episode about our friend whose husband was in the hospital for over over a month, and we weren't sure that he would make it in the natural. And so I was just always reaching out to her with just encouragement, maybe a scripture, maybe a prayer, maybe just some love.
Charlie LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Jill LeBlanc:And very rarely did I ask how, you know, how is it going? How is he today? You know, how are you? I would just say things to her like, we are holding you so close in prayer. I know this has got to be overwhelming. We're praying you can sleep well, you know, whatever.
Jill LeBlanc:And and your friend is going to need you that way. Just after everyone else goes home, be that one that reaches out with words of love. Maybe the Lord will give you a scripture for them just to send comfort Yeah. Or, you know, send them some, you know, flowers or ongoing. You know?
Charlie LeBlanc:It's hard.
Jill LeBlanc:After the funeral and all the plants and flowers that have come then, they're all gonna be dying by then. It, unless you have a few plants to keep they have plants to keep watered. But just, yeah, send a card. A friend of mine who was a she was a hospice chaplain. She sent me so many sympathy cards after Beau passed away.
Charlie LeBlanc:So sweet.
Jill LeBlanc:And it blessed me so much. And it just it it was just special. I think she sent about one a month for several months. And it you know, just just any way that you can just keep letting them know that they're not forgotten.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And just ways that you can touch their hearts.
Charlie LeBlanc:It's so powerful because I think that's part of a bereavement process is that you want people to forget. You don't want people to forget your loved one.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:And a lot of people don't forget, but they don't say they don't forget.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know? And we need to remember to say and text and call when we have people on our hearts. You know, this dear friend of ours who just lost his wife in St. Louis, great man of God, we love him so much. We went to the funeral, and you know, I told you that last episode, but I have text him twice since the funeral.
Charlie LeBlanc:And the first time I text him, I don't remember exactly what I said, have it in my history, but I said at the end, don't feel like you need to text me back.
Jill LeBlanc:That's huge.
Charlie LeBlanc:And we've talked about this before in the episodes too, but it's like, you know, do things unselfishly. And then the other day, just recently, I had a dream about him. I mean, I woke up going, woah, and there he was, he was ministering and it was just a real vivid dream. So I text him a little bit about the dream, and he's never responded. And the beautiful thing about that is we've learned that we release people.
Charlie LeBlanc:You can do something but not expect anything back in the natural because they're hurting, they're grieving, they've got a lot they're dealing with. I mean, you have no idea if you haven't been through it. Of course, for those of you who have been through it and are watching this program, you understand. I think sometimes we thought, well, we're talking to those who haven't had a bad experience.
Jill LeBlanc:Walked through it.
Charlie LeBlanc:But I know that it blesses you when we say what you wanna say. Like I said in the last episode, Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. So I know a lot of times when I say, Don't say this, you're going, Yes, don't say that! So you understand, it is pretty amazing, as unique and different as grief is for everyone, there are some things that are just very much the same, and we hear it over and over again from other people. But to know that you said, we're praying for you, we have been praying for you, that ministers a lot.
Charlie LeBlanc:Then this scripture we've talked about last time and so often, because it's such a powerful scripture about where Paul said that he was in distress and he was in difficulty, he said, But God who comforts the downcast comforted us by the coming of Titus. So we talked about that many times in these broadcasts because it's such a powerful and important, by the coming of Titus, it But it goes on to say, And not only by his coming, but also by the comfort you had given him, he told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever. And I should read this out of a simpler translation. But really, Paul was not only comforted by Titus' coming, it brought him the comfort of Jesus, but he also was comforted knowing that the saints that Titus reported, they were caring for his needs. They cared about his difficulty.
Charlie LeBlanc:And you know, I know that seems a little self centered and selfish, but man, all the letters and people that sent us letters and financial gifts, might say, that's very important. You need to judge that in your journey. People need financial help to pay for the funeral, pay for all the difficulties they're in, and they're taking off work sometimes for a season, and they just We have a dear friend that, along with losing their son, they ended up losing their house because they couldn't afford it. So everything in life was crashing in. Then we have another dear friend who lost her husband, and by the grace of God, they had no life insurance, so she just had to muscle it up and start working.
Charlie LeBlanc:She had a side business, but all of a sudden it wasn't a side business, it was the main business, and they had a handicapped son on top of it. So, you know, financials help is a good way to be a first responder. When we lost Beau, we had several people sending us financial gifts to help us, and some even paid for the funeral, and the things that go along with that, and there were several specific gifts that were given to us to help us get through that hard time. And you know, our income was from singing in conferences, conference after conference, and from our monthly partners, which we so appreciate them so much. And so they helped us during that time, but the conferences, we were so broken, we weren't ready to go back in front of everybody, like, Come on, everybody, praise the Lord!
Charlie LeBlanc:We weren't ready for that, okay? Our hearts were broken. We needed time alone with Jesus to let him mend our broken hearts. And I remember Andrew and Jamie Wommack, they came to our house after Beau passed, and Jamie was able to stay for the funeral, and I remember them saying, Well, you guys take as much time off as you need, and we'll help you, we'll help you during that time, so don't you worry about it, you just take some time off. And Joyce Meyer, we weren't working for her at the time, but she also gave us generous gifts to help us get through the time that we needed, and not only the time after the funeral, but prior to the funeral, we were helping Beau, we were working with Beau, we were still doing a few conferences, but we were just always at the hospitals and different things with him.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, actually stopped traveling at the end.
Charlie LeBlanc:Did we? I couldn't remember exactly how it turned out, but yeah, so anyway, financial assistance is a great way to be a first responder. Listen, a sympathy card with a check-in there, I'm telling you, it ministers lot, a lot of grace, a lot of help to those who have been hurting. We have dear friends in the ministry, and they go through stuff like this, they go through a loss, they're like us, they're paralyzed for a little bit, and they rely upon the gifts. So, keep your pocketbook involved in your bereavement thoughts.
Charlie LeBlanc:Seriously, sending them flowers is okay, but hey, if you can send a few $100 check or something, or even $50 check, whatever it might be, I'm guaranteeing it blesses. And you know, we were very blessed that a lot of people did that for us.
Charlie LeBlanc:They sent us letters and cards with checks. Our partners stepped up and really blessed us and helped And we were extremely blessed to get through that time, because without it, we would've just, there's no way we could've made it. So I didn't plan to talk about that part of it, but I think it's a very powerful But I was reading this scripture in two Corinthians, and basically he's just saying, My joy was greater than ever to find out that so many people were thinking about me, so many people were hurting with me. You know the scripture tells us, it says to bear one another's burdens, that we are one with each other, we're the body of Christ, We're each individual part is knit together, and when, as scripture actually says, when one person suffers, they all suffer, because it's like a part of the body. When I stub my toe, I feel like my whole body, ah, you know.
Charlie LeBlanc:So it's like, you know that too well. And I've stepped on your toe a few times. But yeah, so-
Jill LeBlanc:I wanted to say, in light of what you just said, I remember at Beau's memorial service in St. Louis, Wendell Parr came up to us and handed us a big old fat envelope full of money.
Charlie LeBlanc:My goodness.
Jill LeBlanc:And he said, this is from the students at Caris.
Charlie LeBlanc:Oh.
Jill LeBlanc:We
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:We we were working there when Beau was ill. And then we stopped going in. We we were going up that year, we were going every other week for three days at a time. And so we had not been able to go for about a month or so.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, this was in Colorado, we were living in St. Louis, so we were going there to teach in the Bible College and help them.
Jill LeBlanc:Well, just leading worship that year.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right, that year, okay.
Jill LeBlanc:And so anyway, they made the announcement to the students and they received an offering for us. And that just meant so much. I know. Knowing that they were praying for us and just wrapping their arms of love around us, you know, spiritually speaking and wow.
Charlie LeBlanc:That means a lot. So like if you work at a business and one of your employees loses a loved one, have the whole group get together. You be the leader of it. Take a Take a collection and let's write a letter. They also, the students wrote a beautiful letter.
Charlie LeBlanc:Don't know if you've
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, there were several notes in
Jill LeBlanc:And so, rally the team, and say, Come on, we need to support our our fellow employee who has had a loss of a loved one, a mother, a dad, a father, a mother, a sister, a brother, a husband, a wife, a child, whatever it might be, that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful way to be a good responder, is be a leader in bringing your team together and say, let's support them, let's bless them. And that's what they did at Andrew Womack's Bible College, which is called Charis Bible College, where we were helping. Well, that's good stuff. That's really good stuff.
Charlie LeBlanc:Absolutely. You know, one of the notes I have here is people need your presence, I think I mentioned it last time, and not They need your presence, not just your solutions and your theology, and that goes on and on and on, how important that is to, as we said earlier, to people wanna know how much you care, not how much you know, you know? And so, in our book, we quote a rabbi quite a bit. When we lost Beau, you know, we had help from so many different sources, as we've been mentioning, but we were reaching out for, you know, something to read that would help us, including the Bible, of course. But, someone who understood our grief, you know, we didn't realize at the time how much Jesus understood our grief. Didn't understand that he was touched with the feelings of our infirmities and that he suffered when we suffered.
Jill LeBlanc:Although we've read that countless times through the years.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, just wasn't a revelation to us yet at that moment. But Rabbi Groman, we talked about in the last episode, about how to say the right things, and you were just talking about what to say in a given moment, and Rabbi Groman talks about some of the things that are said at funerals and to the lost that I think, I wanna read it to you, because it blessed us so much. He addresses the subject of unsolicited advice. I like that. It reminds me of something else, but I won't go there right now. Unsolicited advice. Everyone knows what's best for you, and people offer words of condolence. I know just how you feel. And then he responds, You wanna scream. No, you don't. How can you possibly know what I'm going through? Someone else says, Oh, you're doing so well. That's a hard one. Do you know how I feel when you leave? You know, like Jill and I, we started leading worship again about four or five months after that, or three months, I can't remember how soon it was.
Charlie LeBlanc:And because we were worshiping Jesus and giving our hearts to God, our broken hearts to God in worship, people would come up to us and say, Oh, you're doing really good, praise the Lord, you're over it, Or, You're about 80% healed, I can tell. It's just crazy stuff. So no one knows. He said, You're doing so well. You don't know how I feel when you leave here.
Charlie LeBlanc:And he said, Your loved one lived to a ripe old age, you know, if it's a father or a mother. He said, At any age, death is a robber. Others have lived through this, you will too. He responds, I'm not concerned about others right now. At this moment, I'm concerned about myself getting through this.
Charlie LeBlanc:And here's another one that I thought was pretty heavy, because this is a Jewish
Jill LeBlanc:Rabbi.
Charlie LeBlanc:Rabbi, and not a Christian per se. I mean, he may have met Jesus along the way, I hope he did. Trust that he did. But he said, Well, it was God's will. You just accept that it was God's will. And this is his response. Then this vindictive and vengeful God must be my enemy. Wow. And that's something you do not say at a funeral, Oh, just trust the Lord, that must have been his will. Don't say that.
Charlie LeBlanc:Number one, it's not his will, for he wills for all men to come to the knowledge of Christ. He with long life will he satisfy you and show you his salvation. God's will is in a place where he wants life and that more abundantly for you, so don't go there, because people think differently, and even Rabbi Groman said that if it's God's will, then this vindictive and vengeful God must be my enemy. But anyway, we all experienced and said things like this at funerals, and we did, we're guilty. But then Jill, you said a few things in here.
Charlie LeBlanc:You said, people say, Don't cry, rejoice. The joy of the Lord is your strength. Well, early on in the journey, people, that's not the right thing to say because Ecclesiastes says there is a time for mourning, there is a time for tears, and we need to give people that space and that time. And then someone else says, Thank God, you'll see them again. Well, we know that.
Charlie LeBlanc:We knew that. I said that in the last episode, but our hearts were broken, our hearts were torn. So those kind of words don't help. We know it, don't say the obvious. What does our friend say, he said, Mr. Obvious or something?
Jill LeBlanc:Captain Obvious.
Charlie LeBlanc:Captain Obvious, you know, don't say the obvious, you know.
Charlie LeBlanc:Anyway, and of course we go into things that we've talked about already here, but like you said, there are good things to say, and there are things that are not good to say, so we need to be very patient and careful with what we say.
Charlie LeBlanc:So God bless you guys. We're gonna continue with this in the next episode, and we just hope that this ministered to you, and it blessed me. So we'll stay in touch with you, and we'll look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
Charlie LeBlanc:God bless.
Jill LeBlanc:God bless.