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HR entrepreneur Mike Coffey, SPHR, SHRM-SCP engages business thought leaders about the strategic, psychological, legal, and practical implications of bringing people together to create value for shareholders, customers, and the community. As an HR consultant, mentor to first-stage businesses through EO’s Accelerator program, and owner of Imperative—Bulletproof Background Screening, Mike is passionate about helping other professionals improve how they recruit, select, and manage their people. Most thirty-minute episodes of Good Morning, HR will be eligible for half a recertification credit for both HRCI and SHRM-certified professionals. Mike is a member of Entrepreneurs Organization (EO) Fort Worth and active with the Texas Association of Business, the Fort Worth Chamber, and Texas SHRM.
You can't coach unless you hear what's going on, and it's one of these, like, balls. Right? It's like, well, you can't listen unless you're present, and you can't be present unless you're resilient, and you can't be resilient unless you're emotional intelligent. Right? Because you can't listen to someone if you've got head chatter going on thinking, okay, is this about me?
Kristine Conway:I'm wondering if they're really talking about this or is that, you know, and you have all that kind of stuff going on. So for the individual who wants to do something different today, stop and truly listen.
Mike Coffey:Good morning, HR. I'm Mike Coffey, president of Imperative, bulletproof background checks with fast and friendly service. And this is the podcast where I talk to business leaders about bringing people together to create value for shareholders, customers, and the community. Please follow, rate, and review Good Morning HR wherever you get your podcast. You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or at goodmorninghr.com.
Mike Coffey:When I started in HR 30 ish years ago, most of the jobs were pretty transactional. Fill this job, conduct open enrollment, process this paperwork. But even then, the more seasoned roles were already transitioning from generalist roles to business partner roles and the idea was that HR professionals who understand both the business strategy and the legal and practical issues around managing people could bring more value than simply processing paperwork or scheduling interviews. Fast forward 30 years, and it does seem like it was fast forwarded, new technologies threatened to make many HR roles obsolete or just so efficient that one person can do the job that 3 used to do. So what value does an HR professional have to offer business leaders?
Mike Coffey:My guest today says that it's time for HR business partners to become HR trusted advisors. Christine Conway is a certified coach who transforms leaders who fix into leaders who facilitate a fix. She has over 20 years of demonstrated excellence and improving experiences through the leverage of people development in organizations of all sizes and across industries. Welcome back to Good Morning HR, Christine.
Kristine Conway:Thank you for having me back, Mike. I appreciate it. Thank you.
Mike Coffey:So I gave my take on the current transition or evolution, in HR. What do you think businesses need from HR today?
Kristine Conway:Yeah. So they they need trusted advisers. They need, they need the HR to be there for them, to walk, walk, step with them. Often today, I see the need for that pre council or that pre connection before an initiative or before something happens. I see a lot of cleanup.
Kristine Conway:I see a lot of requests for HR to come in and clean up. And Sure. You know, that's that's time consuming and and pretty expensive.
Mike Coffey:So you're really talking about the seat at the table that we've been talking about for 30 years.
Kristine Conway:Seat at the table. Yes. The seat at the table, the, whisper in the ear. Mhmm. The just, you know, having thinking about HR first rather than an afterthought or rather than when something is broken.
Kristine Conway:Right? So getting them at the table, getting them in the discussion at the very beginnings of the ideas that are starting to generate around the c suite.
Mike Coffey:And so when you say, you know, thinking about HR first, you're not thinking about saying, I think, think about the HR department first, but you're they're saying think about first, how do we incentivize, develop people? What is the impact of this idea, this initiative, whatever, on people? Or even better yet, rather than starting with an initiative, starting with a problem. Here's a problem we're facing. How do we solve this?
Mike Coffey:Yeah. And what insight and expertise do we need in order to understand how to let you know, whatever solutions we come up with will involve our people.
Kristine Conway:Yeah. How's it gonna impact our people? And and usually the person that or the the people that have the best, finger on the pulse for that, it's gonna be your HR team. And, you know, many times we don't bring them in soon enough to to really talk about the implications of things that are happening. Maybe it could be an initiative.
Kristine Conway:It could be a culture reset. Right? It could be an org change. I mean, you know, sometimes you go into organizations, and they change organizations every year trying to, you know, changing the seats, and that impacts people at a different at a different level than, one may think.
Mike Coffey:The I think part of the problem is a lot of HR professionals still think in a kind of a regulatory mindset. My job is to keep the organization from getting sued and and you know I'm all about risk mitigation, and I think things are just moving so fast. I mean what not just AI but across the business world. There are times where business leaders just, you know, feel the need to say we'll break things along the way and we'll fix them, but we need to move faster than, you know, having these giant kumbaya meetings where we're all just, you know, all have to be on the same page before it's said and done. And I I don't think I think in a lot of organizations, that's the problem is that, you know, the HR people not only don't have a seat at the table, they can't find their way to the boardroom because they're so so wound up in being the police agency for the organization.
Kristine Conway:Some yeah. Absolutely. And and, you know, and they're that way for a reason. Right? Because, you know, history has proven itself, and that's that's a need for sure.
Kristine Conway:And so it's it's really taking that transition and going into that personal development of those HR individuals, those HR professionals that can really take a different perspective on their position, on their job, and really start rewriting the value that they bring.
Mike Coffey:And so, you know, trusted advisor was really I think a lot of that that conversation was focused on the strategy side and figuring out how we implement strategy through people. How do you see that what do you see the big difference between that and the trusted advisor type role?
Kristine Conway:Well, I think that it still does involve, strategy, but it's not only strategy. It's that, you know, you have that person in your life that you may you know, if it's a financial advisor or if it's maybe a physician, you know, that's their expertise. And you're probably gonna give them a call before jumping into something big that's has big financial implications. You're probably gonna give your doctor a call before you go get scuba diving certified or something. I mean, you you've got these expertise on your on your phone, and you're and you're using those.
Kristine Conway:And for HR to be the first ones that you think about, you know, that that person or that team in HR, you know, I really I want to bounce this around with them and see get their insights. That's what I mean, you know. It's that I trust this person. I trust their expertise. I know they know their people.
Kristine Conway:I know they know their regulatory system as well or the side of that as well, and I'm wanting to go and and pull that from them. And right now, many times, what I what I experience with HR, professionals is that they're banging on the door. You know, it's like, let me in. I have this stuff. I have this expertise.
Kristine Conway:Let me let me help you. Let me help you help you.
Mike Coffey:Right. Well and I guess that begs the question trusted adviser to whom? Because is are we just talking about the CHRO having the skill set so that they can talk to the rest of the leadership team or who who are the who are we gonna be trusted advisors to?
Kristine Conway:Yeah. It's it's it starts with the CHRO. Right? It starts with that that role model of this. And then, the expectation the, HR partners that are there right now, the business unit specialist, things like that, you know, to get these skill sets to where they they are the first ones that people call instead of the last ones that they call.
Kristine Conway:And if you build up that trust, people will seek your advice. But you've gotta be able to build that trust so that you can be sought out and and not the other way around. Because many times, we just we're spinning our wheels trying to say, I have this information, or I can help you, but, you know, sometimes the door is locked. So
Mike Coffey:you mentioned the skills that we need to do that. What are those skills then?
Kristine Conway:Yeah. You know, one of the first things for HR you know, have you heard that HR is a little burnout since then? Yeah. That's pretty
Mike Coffey:hot hot topic. Yeah.
Kristine Conway:So they are. They're they're burnout. You know, I think it's the first thing. We've gotta start taking care of ourselves and building, resilience, increasing our emotional intelligence, sharpening up on our change management skills. I mean, those 3 right there are core.
Kristine Conway:Because as a as an HR leader, as a trusted advisor, you've got to be you've got to be the calm in the storm. You've got to be the one that keeps their cool and can ask still ask the questions, keep their head in the game, while not thinking it's about me, not doubting my expertise, not wondering what else has been done, you know, without my knowledge, all of that. You gotta be able to turn those things off so that you can be that effective person in that moment. And and really working on those things first can really set any professional, but especially the HR professional, up for success because then they're more present That and, you know, when you're more present and you're not losing your cool or you're not having this this head chatter going on because we all have it
Mike Coffey:Mhmm.
Kristine Conway:You can be present, and you're listening, and you're hearing, and you're understanding, and that leads to trust. So those are the first steps.
Mike Coffey:And you mentioned resilience. Tell me what you mean by resilience, and then how do I build it? I think there are lot of HR I think there are a lot of business leaders in general who over the
Kristine Conway:last 4 years
Mike Coffey:have been, you know, just been worn down, right, over the last 4 years. And it's just been one thing after the other. Yeah. You know, everything from COVID to elections and, now AI and technology. So it's constant change, and maybe it always has been, and I'm just getting older, and it's wearing me down more.
Mike Coffey:But the you know, how do you build that resilience? What you know, what do you mean by resilience and and really, how do you build that?
Kristine Conway:I think resilience is definitely an outcome of emotional intelligence.
Mike Coffey:Okay.
Kristine Conway:So the the stronger you become emotionally intelligent so what I mean by that is that you're able to understand what kind of emotions are going on with you. You're able to sense other people's emotional state so that you can use it for data. You've got data from yourself and being able to stay really calm in that moment. And so once you're able to do that, resilience is that the ability to get up every morning, right, and and face this fight the good fight, if you wanted to say that. I don't really like that, but it's, you know, it does it does ring true with that.
Kristine Conway:And you you keep getting up and you keep going, and and it's not something that allows you to take in and get enmeshed in this situation. And I think that's what a a lot of times we as HR professionals do is because we care so much. We want the company to be successful. We want the employees to be successful. We want these things to happen.
Kristine Conway:And so we take in all of that. And when you and when you build resilience up, you're in it, you're objective, but it's kind of like that water off off the duck's back. Right? You get splashed. It gets all over you, but you swim a little bit and it's gone.
Kristine Conway:And and that is really kind of a visualization of resilience. And it really it starts with that self regulation, which is part of emotional intelligence. You know, recognizing those things. Stopping that head chatter. Not not allowing everything that goes on to be about you.
Kristine Conway:I mean, we get that way, especially when we're burned out and we're tired. You know, something could happen, on the on the highway, and we think it's about us because we just happen to be there.
Mike Coffey:Well, yeah, and I mean it, you know, I've definitely talked I've I've, you know, dealt with it in in my personal and professional life and talked to plenty of professionals who've been in a situation where suddenly it seems like everything is about them or the whole world stacked against me that kind of attitude. Yes. And it's it can can grind you grind you down, and I think you touched on it a little bit, waking up with a purpose every day. Uh-huh. And sometimes that means designing your life differently.
Mike Coffey:You know, what do you you know, maybe this isn't the right job for you anymore. And I think that's a hard thing for us to do because we've got, you know, we've got the sunk cost fallacy, and we've, you know, we've we've got so much invested here. So what would you say to somebody who just, you know, doesn't feel like they're building resilience?
Kristine Conway:Yeah. So I would I would really do an inventory and see, you know, what's sucking your energy out Because the lower your energy, the less resilient you can be, and find out what it is. I mean, there could be there could be certain people that just drain you. And if you're having to deal with that person 1 on 1 all day long, it may be something that you wanna look at. And it's not necessarily, you have to change your job or, you know, get rid of that person, but how are you interacting with it?
Kristine Conway:How are you taking that information in? You know, there's a there's a a lot that can be said for just changing a perspective and just shifting your mindset a little bit by understanding the things that are there are being said and interpreting them and giving them different meaning. Because, Mike, as much as I love you, you can't make me feel one way or another.
Mike Coffey:Right.
Kristine Conway:Yeah. I take what you say and I interpret it, and that meaning that I interpret sign it.
Mike Coffey:Right. And I think that's something that you hear a lot is, you know, you know, I they made me feel demeaned or or they demeaned me or they did this or they did that. No. They did what they did. How you responded to it is how you failed.
Mike Coffey:And there's nothing wrong with, okay, my initial feeling is this, but then you've got to take it apart and look at it separately and say, okay. I see what they did, and that's what they did, but how I'm responding to it is not rational for me. It's not helpful for me.
Kristine Conway:Exactly. Exactly. And and that takes a while to learn how to do and to do correctly. You know, I've been coaching since early 2000. I'm not gonna say how many years, but very, very long time, you know, when we didn't have a second digit on the and anyway Yeah.
Kristine Conway:And so a very long time and there are still times when I may have a bad day and I may, you know, I may feel less resilient and I may take it, oh my gosh, that was all about me and it pours me, and then I go in this downward spiral, because I'm
Mike Coffey:human.
Kristine Conway:But it takes practice and it takes training and it takes knowledge and expanding your ideas and expanding, your perceptions of things and then building on top of that and practice. You know? Practice, practice, practice. Get in front of that person that, you know, drains your energy and how bad is it today? Well, is it gonna is it better
Mike Coffey:yesterday or, you know, that type of thing? How can you
Kristine Conway:measure, that on measurement with that, just to kind of add that in, is that's a way of tracking. That's a way of of of You at the end of the day, how well did I do on the things that were in At the end of the day, how well did I do on the things that were important to me? And then compare that to what you did 3 weeks ago, and then you can give yourself a pat on the back, or you have to get yourself a swift kick in the butt. And, you know, that that kind of measurement is important there.
Mike Coffey:And I think very few people have that kind of reflection time. I mean, because you've gotta be really intentional about it, and it's really hard. I mean, I'm a big fan of, Sam Harris's Waking Up app, which helps with meditation. And if I was more disciplined about it, I would you know, I'd get more out of it. But, but, that setting time aside where you're not you know, self care doesn't mean eating a bowl of ice cream and watching Netflix all night every time.
Kristine Conway:But we find time to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it amazing?
Mike Coffey:Yeah. And I've I've trained myself not to say I don't have time to do this. I'm not I'm not prioritizing, and I'm prioritizing these other things over that. Yeah. And that that makes a difference.
Mike Coffey:But, you know, just whether for me, if I can't if I'm not setting aside time just to sit still and and reflect if I can I find doing dishes? I can reflect I can do dishes and not have to pay attention to what I'm doing, because, you know, we're monsters here, and we eat off a lot of plastic, and so I don't worry about breaking stuff. But I can, you know, in that time, I can reflect on my day, go through it, but I've also got my yoga practice every morning. And on days where I'm not teaching, I can just, you know, go through that flow, and I'm all I've got is, you know, me on this on this mat and these four corners of this mat for the next hour, and I can just, you know, detach from everything else, and I've got a clear head. And on days where I don't do that, I can definitely tell that I'm not as pleasant a person and not nearly as helpful to the people that I encounter.
Mike Coffey:But having some process that works for you, so you are detaching and you are reflecting on how you did, but it's got almost always gotta be intentional. At least in my experience, I've never found anybody who just walks through the Days Inn like like that.
Kristine Conway:Yeah. No. It is you have to be intentional, and that's the thing. We've lost intention, I think, especially in this remote world. I mean, you you think about how intentional you have to be in order to get things done when everybody's remote.
Kristine Conway:Right? But even for yourself, you know, you have a choice. You have a choice to make time with the ice cream and Netflix, or you have a choice to sit down and do some reflection. I have the saying that if you give me your checkbook, which, you know, this is an old saying because nobody really looks at a checkbook anymore. But if you gave me access to your online accounts
Mike Coffey:Yeah.
Kristine Conway:And your online calendar, I could tell you what's important to you.
Mike Coffey:Exactly. And let's take a quick break. Good morning HR is brought to you by Imperative, bulletproof background checks with fast and friendly service. If you're an HRCI or SHRM certified professional, this episode of Good Morning HR has been preapproved for 1 half hour of recertification credit. To obtain the recertification information visit goodmorninghr.com and click on research credits, then select episode 157 and enter the keyword advisor, that's a d v I s o r.
Mike Coffey:And if you're looking for even more recertification credit, last week's webinar, the ethical and practical considerations on the use of AI in human resources is available on our website. We discussed the history of artificial intelligence, the ways we use it every day without realizing it, and how generative AI can bring value and risk to the organization. We even met the deep fake Mike Coffey. This free webinar is preapproved for an hour of recertification credit from both HRCI and SHRM, and you can watch it at imperativeinfo.com/webinars. And now back to my conversation with Christine Conway.
Mike Coffey:Let's dive deeper into building that emotional intelligence piece because I mean we've talked you and I have talked about it before here and we've talked about several episodes, but that awareness of what's going on, you know, how this how the circumstances are affecting me and how I'm responding, but also understanding, you know, having some insight into how these, same circumstances are affecting these other people and where they're coming from. How do you develop that skill set? Well, how do you define emotional intelligence, and then how you develop that skill set?
Kristine Conway:Yeah. So defining emotional intelligence is being able to be aware of yours and others' emotional states, extract data from that, and use it wisely. Okay. Yeah. It's the shortest definition I think I've ever come up with.
Kristine Conway:So that is that's how I define it. And, you know, and how you develop that is, a series of things. The first thing is just becoming more aware. I mean, the awareness factor. I mean, think about how many times you drive from point a to point b and you don't you don't you didn't look at anything.
Kristine Conway:Right? You just you knew you got in the car and you knew you got out of the car, and you weren't aware of the buildings that were being built or the trees on the side or, you know, whatever. So creating a sense of an awareness within ourselves is so important and you can do that by some mindfulness you know? Yes. There is meditation, but not everybody can do meditation.
Kristine Conway:Right? There's there's different little things that seem so unrelated that can help you create that awareness. 1 is just stopping and listening to your breath. You know, and and building that that ability to stop and slow down. It's little things like that that when you when you continue to build a practice like that, you can start becoming more aware.
Kristine Conway:You have a conversation, or you have a meeting. After the meeting, take 5 minutes and think about what went on in that meeting. What what did I process? I wonder did they con did I convey what I needed to convey? Right?
Kristine Conway:So all you're doing is you're taking time to reflect back, which is gonna make you more aware for the next time. And and you really just keep building on that. And there's and there's all kinds of tools and exercises and things like that that, you know, I I help my clients with, and I also teach it in, a couple of, programs that I have coming out. But that is you've gotta you've gotta keep doing that, and that is the thing. You just you can't there is no shortcut to it.
Kristine Conway:No shortcut. And that's what we want. We wanna we wanna peel. I mean, I've been asked, do you have a pill? Because I need a pill.
Kristine Conway:I was like, I don't have a pill. It's a muscle.
Mike Coffey:Yeah. But, yeah, like you say, after a meeting, that idea that I'm gonna sit down, and I can I can tell one of the questions that, you know, there are things that comes to mind is because what I'm really bad about is not at the end of the meeting, you know, I may have a list of to dos, but I don't remember the the the context and the conversation around what I know what I gotta get done, but, you know, I'm I'm I'm real, you know, I'm that type a guy? I want to get stuff moving. Okay. Let's get to the point and all that, and at the end I'm like, okay.
Mike Coffey:Somebody said something about their anniversary last weekend, and somebody else said something about this and all these little, you know, things that we do in our opening segues and our staff meetings, you know, and then I'm kind of ashamed. Right? I'm like, oh, well, okay. I I didn't do a very good job on that. And so next week when we hit that part of our our weekly staff meeting, I need to make sure all my windows are closed, and that I'm focusing on this person and and dealing with that.
Mike Coffey:And I think that's just, you know, the identifying for you what those things are that you're coming you're missing by not being fully present and focusing on just collecting those as you go and building that strength.
Kristine Conway:Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, if you're if you've or if you're thinking about, I want to be more aware of what people are saying and are not saying. Right? Because there's a lot of nuances.
Kristine Conway:There's a lot of things that that people kind of slide in there, and we just breeze over it because we don't have time to go there. If that's something that's top of mind for you and that's something that you really wanna work on, well, that's your point of reflection after those meetings. Right? So that you're not kind of all over the place. You're you're focused in on how well did I do that, or did I miss something.
Kristine Conway:You know, a lot of people record meetings and nobody ever watches them, but there there could be a time that, you know, you okay. That was that was really important. Let me go back and look at that, because we have that ability now. There was some movie with that too. It was kinda creepy.
Kristine Conway:I don't can't remember the 911. I'll I'll text it to you later.
Mike Coffey:But yeah. Then so we get we get all this, but then that last piece, I think that's really important that you mentioned for a trusted adviser is the ability to actually coach. Yeah. Talk about that. Were you I mean, you know, certainly there's there are coaching programs, I think you're CFI certified or ICF certified whatever ICF.
Mike Coffey:And, but, you know, for that that HR professional that or even that frontline manager who really wants those skills and doesn't have time right now or isn't allocating their time, you know, to to that right now to make, to make that the priority. What what are some basic skills that they should they they can develop to to be better coaches?
Kristine Conway:Yeah. I think the the number one thing is is to listen. I mean, you can't coach unless you hear what's going on. And and, you know, and it and it's one of these, like, balls. Right?
Kristine Conway:It's like, well, you can't listen unless you're present, and you can't be present unless you're resilient, and you can't be resilient unless you're emotional intelligent. Right? Because you can't listen to someone if you've got head chatter going on thinking, okay, is this about me? I'm wondering if they're really talking about this or is that, you know, and you have all that kind of stuff going on. So for the individual who wants to do something different today, stop and truly listen.
Kristine Conway:And and and I'm not saying take copious notes, but maybe write things down that will help you go back and and reflect. Look at their eyes. Can you tell? You know, do you know the color of your the eyes of the last person that you spoke with?
Mike Coffey:Oh, wow.
Kristine Conway:You know? Because if you can figure that out, you know that you were looking close enough at that individual. You were paying attention to them. What color shirt did they have on? That kind of thing.
Kristine Conway:Right? So that you are really present in doing that. Because the things that I see that people get tripped up on is they want they go in wanting to become the person who solves the situation, and that's not your job. Your job is to facilitate. I mean, when you think about leaders and you think about leadership, we're all facilitating every day.
Kristine Conway:And to be able to the thing that trips them up is that their ego gets in the way, which is about, you know, everything's about us, everything's about me, or the fact that I need to be the hero, becomes a kind of an ego situation. And you can't get that has to go away, especially in that coaching session, and really just focus on that individual. Something really tactical to do is before you have a meeting, make sure that you've taken care of yourself. Have you eaten? Do you have something to drink?
Kristine Conway:Have you gone to the restroom? Those kind of things like that, those are huge distractors that I mean, don't don't try to talk to me while I'm hungry. I mean, because it's not gonna go well. So the you know, very, very tactical to the kind of like the the Russian doll thing. Right?
Kristine Conway:You keep pulling out and and and discovering you gotta get to that core piece right there.
Mike Coffey:And I think you've just touched on it a little bit, you know, we want to solve the problems, and I think the idea maybe it's just, you know, it's unfortunate that the word adviser sounds so much like advice and, where, you know, where that facilitator or because it certainly it seems like there's a lot more listening to do than there is advice giving and problem. So I mean, I have been married for 27 years, 3 of the best years of her life, you know, and and so and I've learned that yeah. Well, there's plenty of times where I just want to vent, and I don't want it solved. And there are just as many times where she just wants to vent and get it out there. Yeah.
Mike Coffey:She don't want me to solve her problem. Yeah. And that's really hard for me for her. It's like yeah, you go take care of your stuff, but for me it's like you know I want to fix this that's my personality and so sitting there and saying okay and so and then what happened and and what do you think about that and or how you deal deal with that differently rather than just saying just cut that girl out your life. I don't wanna hear it anymore.
Mike Coffey:And so and I think that's a part of the problem we have, though, is that, you know and we wanna be we wanna be helpful, and we wanna we wanna be attached to the solution a lot of times. We wanna be seen as, you know, that oh, yeah. That was my idea that we just implemented, that kind of thing.
Kristine Conway:Yeah. And that's where the ego comes in, and you just you you have to be able to
Mike Coffey:Nobody's ever accused me of having an ego issue, but
Kristine Conway:I don't think really not. I'm sure not. That's where you have to really put that aside and be there for the individual and remember why am I here. What's the purpose of this conversation? Is the purpose for me to get another trophy for solving, Or is the purpose for me to be this person's trusted adviser to where they can leave here with a better decision?
Kristine Conway:And you know, you can't I mean with with HR having all the expertise that they have, they are going to end up advising at the end of the conversation. Right? Because they're gonna have, okay, well, this is what legal is all about. Here here are some regulations you should consider. And here's the information that, you know, I know about the employees and where they're at.
Kristine Conway:They're gonna end up advising, but they're you're never gonna get to that point unless you become trusted and you can listen so that you can give them the right advice, the right guidance, the right direction. And that's that's where those you know, having an HR credentialed professional add in a professional coaching credential, to me, I think that that that's magic, and that makes that trusted advisor happen.
Mike Coffey:And one of the things that I've found in a lot of in all kinds of circumstances is somebody wants to start sharing and and they want this conversation. We see we really start down that road. And if I'll stop and say, okay. Just so I understand, what do you need from me here? You know, how can I be most helpful to you right now?
Mike Coffey:And maybe it's, you know, just I just want to vent. Perfect. I can I'm good at that. That's, you know, there's no heavy lifting there. Or I just need to know what to do, or I wanna know if you have something you can share in your own experience.
Mike Coffey:Tell me a story about what you've done in a similar situation or what is this, this, you know, those kind of things. And so getting that really clear early on so that you don't, you know, they don't walk away feeling like they didn't knew what they were looking for.
Kristine Conway:Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, I I teach a, a coaching model that goes through you know, you gotta find out first what's what's going on, and you do that by, of course, being present and listening, but you're also asking very important questions and very powerful questions to to give more data to the conversation. So one of yours that you just asked was a really powerful question. It was, what is it that you need from me?
Kristine Conway:How can I be most of service to you in this conversation? That can be a powerful one. And then getting them to really get down to the clarification of what the true issue or topic is, and then at that point, you can join together and unify and and come up with plans and next steps and, you know, then your complete strategy to to go forth. But it's being able to narrow that down because sometimes those kind of conversations could go on for hours and you don't have time for that. So you've got to have a model that allows you to ask the questions, get the points through, verify that that is the correct topic, the the core topic that that person is struggling with or wants to, you know, get some resolution to, and then you move into to strategy.
Kristine Conway:And, you know, when I first started coaching, my my it was like, you know, an hour and 15 minutes. It would take me forever. And now, I mean, I have a client that their employees have 15 minute slots on my calendar.
Mike Coffey:Mhmm.
Kristine Conway:You know? So it you can get to the point to where it actually saves you time because I think, you know, anytime you think about coaching, you think about, oh my gosh, it's going to take me forever. I've got to build trust. I gotta build rapport. I've gotta, you know, have this quiet moment.
Kristine Conway:No. You can use these coaching skills in groups and individuals, and it doesn't have to take more than 15 minutes if you want it to really hash out a topic.
Mike Coffey:So to wrap up, you don't really see jobs posted for trusted advisor. You know? And and so how once I'm in the organization, how do I find my way into that kind of role with, you know, whoever it is that I'm serving?
Kristine Conway:It's it's being able to connect relationship building. You know, transactions have been king for a very long time because they seem very clean, and they and you can put them on a list and you can check them off. Go from transactional to more relationship based, because if you if we focus on the transactions, we forget about the people behind those transactions. So start building relationships with the key people that that you serve. I mean, if you are in an area where, you have a department, go to that department lead.
Kristine Conway:Go to those meetings. You know, start building relationships with those individuals first. And then the trust will start to come from them. But you've gotta build that relationship first, and it doesn't have to take 2 years to build a relationship. You can get to know people, you know, pretty well, in 10 days.
Kristine Conway:You just gotta be intentional about it because we've said that word a couple of times here today. Yeah.
Mike Coffey:Well, we'll have to leave it there because that's the time we've got, but thank you so much for joining me today, Christine Conway.
Kristine Conway:Thank you, Mike.
Mike Coffey:And thank you for listening. You can comment on this episode or search our previous episodes at goodmorninghr.com or on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube. And don't forget to follow us wherever you get your podcast. Rob Upchurch is our technical producer, and you can reach him at robmakespods.com. And thank you to Mary Anne Hernandez, imperatives marketing coordinator, who keeps the trains running on time.
Mike Coffey:And I'm Mike Coffey. As always, don't hesitate to reach out if I can be of service to you personally or professionally. I'll see you next week and until then, be well, do good, and keep your chin up.