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Welcome to Tabletop Travel Agency, an actual-play podcast from Rainbow Die Studios, where every mini series is a new destination in the world of tabletop roleplaying games.
From heroic fantasy and chaotic comedy to mystery, horror, sci-fi, and heartfelt character drama, each adventure features a different game system, a fresh cast of characters, and a new story waiting to unfold. Whether you’re a longtime TTRPG fan or just booking your first trip into the hobby, we’re here to help you chart your course to adventure.
Pack your dice, grab your character sheet, and join us at the table.
Fabula Ultima TTRPG Campaign Episode One - Tabletop Travel Agency
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[00:00:00] [00:01:00] [00:02:00] [00:03:00] [00:04:00] [00:05:00] Hey, good evening tabletop travelers, and welcome back to another series of Tabletop Travel Agency. I am your game master, uh, Val. I use any pronouns. Uh, we're gonna go around real quick and introduce my tabletop tourists to you tonight. Um- Hi, everyone. My name is Angel, and I also use any pronouns. Oh. Me?
This is your camera. Yeah. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and that beautiful technicolor rainbow in between. My name is David. I go by he/they I'm Rachel. I go by she/her pronouns. I'm Aaron, he/him. All right. Awesome. So, like I said, this is a start to a new miniseries for us, which means that we'll be starting a new game.
Um, if you are interested in what we're playing, it is Fabula Ultima. Mm-hmm. It [00:06:00] looks like this, unless you're like me and you spilled a- ... entire thing of iced tea on yours- ... and you don't have the dust jacket anymore. But if you do have the beautiful high-color dust jacket, it looks like this. Um, it's an awesome game.
It is a tabletop JRPG. Yeah. So it takes a lot of cues from that genre. Um, and our story is gonna try to kind of focus in on that vibe. Um, I would like to thank Emma Galletto, who wrote this game, uh, for letting us play it, and the company Need Games for allowing us to play this and use their really awesome soundtrack for this game, which you can find on Spotify- Ooh
Bandcamp, YouTube- Mm-hmm ... probably some other places, um, by just looking up Fabula Ultima soundtrack. That was composed by Son of a Die, and you'll hear it in the background tonight and through all of our game. It's probably about 90% of the soundtrack we're gonna use. Um, [00:07:00] with that said, are we ready to take flight-
for instance? Sounds like we're moving up in the world. This is exciting. We got a soundtrack now? Yeah. Ooh. We got- Just for us. No. We got legal permission to use a soundtrack? Legal permission's a big word. Okay, lawyer boy. So don't mess it up for me. Never call me lawyer boy again. Ooh. And with that...
We are touching down this time in the country of Feybelle. Um, this beautiful, idyllic country that is a sort of union between these four smaller kingdoms. We'll get into all of that later. For now, let's focus in on our adventurers, um, who have found theirselves in the capital of Feybelle, the Shining Citadel.
Um, the capital city, it is, even on the average day, buzzing with life. From [00:08:00] the base of the hill that it's built onto, you can kind of see a very good chunk of it just kind of going upwards, the stone streets that are filled with city dwellers, merchants, travelers, all kind of, you know, getting from one place to another, um, going about their days.
The very top of the hill is the newer factory district, which, uh, puffs out these white clouds of steam into the air as they work on whatever exciting new technology they're building up there. Um, and all around you can kind of just see people going about their lives. Today is not an ordinary day, though.
Um, it is finally the day of the yearly Envoy initiation ceremony. Um, there are dozens of hopefuls who have been chosen from Feybelle's four kingdoms: the Aquisio Kingdom, the Ostio Kingdom, the Grigio Kingdom, and of course, here, the Shining Citadel. Um, these hopefuls have gathered here in the main [00:09:00] plaza of the Shining Citadel to receive their very first quest, their job interview, if they will, for the Envoy position.
Uh, amongst them are our four adventurers, who are standing in the small crowd in the center plaza of the Shining Citadel. Um, it's kind of like this roundish area with some very beautiful brickwork, uh, you know, fountain, statue, the things you would expect to see. Um, and it's bustling with mostly, like, young hopefuls.
Um, let's take a moment to pick out our four hopefuls in particular. Would anyone like to go first? Or should I start calling names? I can go first. Okay. All right. So Bubbles is a pretty big seven-foot-tall penguin. Um, he still has, like, a lot of fur on him, so, like, kinda gives, like, that baby-ish penguin vibes.
But, like, [00:10:00] he's fluffy and kinda scary looking. He's got, like- Like the really big one at the Australian Zoo. You've seen it? Yeah. He's, like, got your, like, normal, I think, like, emperor penguin colors. Yes. So, like, orange, yellow, gray, black and stuff. Um, he has, like, a long, fluffy tail though too, long beak, and his claws are a little sharp.
So, like, he can look kind of intimidating when you just, like, first look at him. But, um, he's wearing a very purple bathrobe kinda thing- ... that has, like, moons and stars and stuff. And it's definitely still dripping wet from, like, him recently just swimming, and that's essentially what he wears all of the time.
And yeah, yellow eyes, and he's probably just, like, trying to talk to random people, and, like, doing the, "H- h- hello, um, exc- mm, okay. Uh, hi. Mm." And then no one's, like, paying him any attention. If they are, it's just, like, [00:11:00] scared stares. Yeah. You know, we're seeing people of all kinds around us. There are the finfolk, who of course are typically sort of merfolk-esque.
Sometimes a little more aquatic, sometimes a little more humanoid. We're seeing forest folk, who are all manners of, like, humanoid mammals. We're seeing feather folk. Um, but none of them really quite look like you, Bubbles. Um, and between the whole being seven feet tall thing, and also visibly moist- ... you are having trouble making connections with people.
And we're all, "What's wrong? What's wrong? I don't understand." Well, Squid never shies away from anything visibly moist.
We haven't even met your character. I want an introduction. And you're about to. So, uh, my character, uh, Squideous Squid Neptune- ... is, uh, a fin folk from Aquagio. Um, I look like all of the Hemsworth [00:12:00] brothers- ... at the same time. Um, and also a merman. Um, if I attempt to wear a shirt buttoned, it will unbutton. Um, my hair is blowing in a breeze that isn't there.
Uh, and I'm just taking it all in. Uh, and I've got a little pet, a mellow slime that hangs out with me named Wobbles. And I... "It's okay. It's gonna be fine." Okay. "We're gonna be fine." Um, you are a type of fin folk that can leave the water- I can ... and have legs when you do, so you're not, like, flopping around. Yes.
I have legs. And they're good legs, too. But yeah. Yeah. You can tell by kind of his style of dress specifically, like the open shirt- Yes ... and the- Open shirt, uh, cargo shorts. Yes. You can kind of clock where he's from. Absolutely. Um- I imagine a lot of turquoise. Yeah. Uh, I've got, um... I, I don't have shoes. Uh, they make me fall down.
Same. Um, and I've got- I've got, like, some [00:13:00] scales- ... uh, on my legs and on my body. Um, but otherwise, just very handsome man who will... I will, uh, uh, if I get wet, I can get my little tail going, and I'm... Show you how fast I can go. It's very fast. I'm a very fast swimmer. Very fast. Yeah. So you, uh, walk up to Bubbles.
I do. Um, I believe you guys had met in the woods- Yeah ... on the way here. So yeah, you have a little bit of experience, you know, maybe, like, the 30 minutes walking here. You met your Wobbles well with Bubbles. Yeah. So- Wobbles, it's... Yeah, it's Bubbles. Oh, hello. Hey. Fancy meeting you exactly where I knew you were going.
I'm having trouble talking to anyone. Um, hi. Hey. Don't worry. If you're having trouble talking to these guys, I'm here now. It's fine. You don't want... Who, who do you wanna talk to? I'll find them. We'll fi- we'll find them together, right? Anybody. [00:14:00] Let's see. We scan the crowd for some- Yeah ... fun-looking people. Who are the two other fun-
people we might see in this crowd?
Oh no. No, that means you. Jeez. Winner picks what. Oh, God. Uh, so... Candle. Uh. Yes. Candle. Hello, Candle. Um, Candle is the most human looking out of the group. Yes. Um, just kind of like 5'10", very, like, ambiguously gendered twink. Uh. Yeah. Uh, wearing, like, this j- this jester's, like, vest with no sleeves on it. Their arms are covered in bandages.
The parts you can see have these, like, very ornate flame tattoos kind of on them. Uh, their fingers are entirely bandaged, just all the way up. Um, [00:15:00] and they... Uh, every time they walk, uh, you can hear, like, a jingling noise from the, like, bells on their hair tie and the bells, like, in, on their shoes. Like, they're, they're ringing.
There's no stealth to the- ... to, to Candle at all. Um, Candle is c- currently i- sitting in front of a, um, rodent-esque individual. And, and doing this. "Is this your card?" No. No, it is not. "Oh, wait. This, this is the cool part. Check your back pocket." I am playing... I, I am Gerry, with a, with a G. And, uh, I'm wearing my, my, my cloak that conceals, uh, my, my pistol.
I, I am a mouse folk, so I am quite short at a... I believe I, I specified 3'8". Um, so I'm, I'm pretty short [00:16:00] compared to the rest of the crowd. Uh, and I, I'm a mouse guy wearing a cloak. I don't really have pockets, so- ... I'm just gonna kind of look at Candle and shrug. You don't have back pockets, do you? Check your...
Check your underwear?
Please? I just, I, Jerry opens the cloak to show that he just has a holster for his gun, and that's about it. Hey, do you need pockets? 'Cause he's just a little mou- Save the mouse. He's just a little mouse guy. Check your pockets. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Oh. Dude, what is this doing in here? That is a, that is a, a buy 10 get one free ramen-
from the shop down the block. I love... Oh. That was in my stuff. Do, do you want this back? It's okay. I, I don't usually- M- uh, uh, the magician's ethics code. I can't, I can't take that. Oh, it's perfect for the next time I carbo-load. That's all, like, that's all, like, punched and [00:17:00] everything. It's perfect. You're good to go.
And Jerry, uh, this whole conversation, any time someone's around, Jerry's just looking up at them like, "Why am I here? Why am I with these people?" I forgot- Yeah, so you're suddenly joined by this, um, fin folk bro looking gentleman. Immediately get down to your level- Quite a fountain ... like, "What's up, dude?" Oh, like the how not to talk to a short person.
No, you get down to your level. I think, I think, I think Jerry has a moment where he's like, he kinda sizes up Squid, and I, I think we established, uh, off-camera that Jerry's pretty cut. Yeah. So he's just gonna- Are you about to have a flex off? I don't know. Nah, dude, it's just gonna be like... There's just gonna be this moment where it's just like, um, oh, what is it from, uh, from the movie where they like...
Just like, just like that. Yeah. Dude, little dude, what have you bench, man? It took, it took a lot more- Weigh more than you think. It took almost all my slime for you to talk to me. What the- Like this? And Jerry immediately goes back to just, like, I don't know. Did you guys see [00:18:00] a slime too? Yeah, we found it as well.
Like, this is my little guy. His name's Wobbles.
No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I definitely... Jerry's hand is on his holster. I'm just gonna waddle on over and just, like, kinda like wave and then, like, go in for a handshake looking, like, straight down at you and just like, "Hi?" Yeah. Bubbles is, like, two Jerry tall. Yeah. Good Lord, you're tall.
just turns around. Yeah, this is Bubbles. We were on the road together, and we saw... That's where we saw the slime. And we like had to fight this super cool moth, and we did it. And it was great. Now we're here. It was a pretty easy fight. It was great, yeah. I had a really, honestly- ... a great time. Gerry- I got you those wings, you remember?
Gerry just looks- Oh, my God ... at Candle with just sheer contempt in his eyes. Just sheer contempt at the fact that we had trouble defeating what they managed to tame. Yeah, they just [00:19:00] have like a little... Melody's, um, for the folks at home, this is like a small orange creature. It's got like little closed eyes, and like I imagine like the three mouth, you know- Yeah
with the little cat mouth. Um- And it, uh, occasionally goes, "Wee, wee." Um, a sound which has become very upsetting. Gerry and Candle, who nearly lost their lives to one of these in the woods on the way here. I'm sorry for healing you so much. Like- Oh ... I coulda did other stuff, and like I just kept making sure, like- Bubbles, you are both literally and figuratively a fantastic wingman.
I loved it. It was great. I don't have wings. We're stomping this into the ground the second it gets a chance. You got like... You're wing-esque. Okay. And, and, and I got you wings. Oh, I do have- Big wing energy. You got big wing energy. What did I say? Like, like, like flying squirrel, like, stretched out. Oh, yeah. You feel like- Yeah.
Well, kinda have wings. You're like- Um, actually- What is with this campaign and flying squirrels and wings? I feel like you could glide several, like, meters. I don't know what our fantasy lengths are. In the water, yes. Uh, [00:20:00] Fabula actually doesn't use move speeds, which is pretty cool. Ooh. You can, you can glide multiple fef miles.
A fef tail. And a meow. Um, all right, yeah. So all around you, the other, um, envoy hopefuls are chatting each other up, kinda trying to, like, pass the time. There's this air of nervousness in the air, and- ... rightly so. Excuse me.
This one. And rightly so, because, uh, you essentially get offered this job interview- God, I didn't pick a card Maybe once. And if you fail this job interview, you lose your chance at becoming- ... at becoming an envoy, in most cases. Oh, there's lots. So the pressure to- Oh, good ... do well here is high. Mm-hmm. Um, so everyone's kinda nervously chattering- Why is there-
doing magic tricks. Why are there two queens of hearts in this deck? I- That's actually really bad. Um, finally you notice that everyone around [00:21:00] you has started to go quiet. Oh. Um, and you look up to this sort of, like, little stage at the front- ... of the plaza, and you see that there's a small collection of little old people walking up onto the stage.
Ooh. Um, you would recognize these as being members of the Council of Elders that have say over each of the kingdoms in some way, shape, or form. Uh, these people are usually then reporting to a high elder. Uh, but even the non-high elders, as it were, command a sort of respect because as soon as they walk out, they don't even really need to say anything, and everyone kind of ends their conversations.
They're all different, um, species. You've got finfolk, feather folk, forest folk of all kind. All of them wearing sort of, like, traditional garb. So, you know, there's a finfolk woman who's wearing, like, very, like, [00:22:00] water-ready clothing. It's like a robe, but it's not a lot of fabric, so that if she were to get into the water, you know.
There's little shells on it, and, like, beads, and it's this bluish tone. The person from the Shining Citadel is wearing more of, like, a bronze-colored thing with lots of, like, metallic adornments. You know, forest is a little more natural. And then the feather folk is wearing, like, this very flowy, aerodynamic-looking robe with a, you know, different feathers on it.
Um, there is a human man who moves to the front, um, and looks out at the crowd as they're all kind of, you know, waiting for him to speak. "Hello, initiates. We are proud to welcome another group of you to this ceremony." And to welcome you to the proud tradition of becoming an envoy. Over the last two centuries, um, envoys have been the crucial gru- [00:23:00] glue between the four kingdoms that allow Faeville to exist as we know it.
It is a tremendous ask to be able to do the unpredictable and ever-changing work required by our envoys to keep the kingdom united and thriving. Our envoys travel the country, delivering messages, resolving disturbances, and whatever else it may take to maintain the delicate balance required for our kingdoms to thrive.
We commend you all for answering that call today. But as you know, just who will take on that role is not ours alone to decide. The Fates and the Goddesses herself, uh, guard our hands, or guide our hands as we prepare for another generation of envoys. Um, he kinda ushers to the other elders. A, a thin folk who has this very pale bluish skin, and you can visibly see, like, flecks of scales on her skin, walks forward.
She has this little ornamented [00:24:00] porcelain pitcher of water. And a feather folk, kind of swan-ish looking woman walks forward, um, carrying this bowl that looks to be cut of some kind of, like, crystal. Um, very beautiful looking as well, and they set it down, and they pour the water into it, and then a little feather folk elder comes over and says some magic words, and it starts to glow with this very warm light as they've created this sort of, like, little divination pool Uh, the male elder continues to speak.
He says, "Today, we will commune with the fates to learn each of your destined quest. We know that you have been waiting and dreaming of what, what might await you in this divination pool. Remember that every quest, no matter how strange it may sound or insignificant it may seem, holds great importance for the future.
Not just your own future, but the future of the kingdom itself. It is with this test that you will learn, beyond a shadow of a [00:25:00] doubt, whether the life of an envoy is the path you are destined to walk. We wish you all the very best on the next leg of your journey, and may the goddess smile down on this blessed road that you are about to travel down."
Um, and there's kind of like, you know, that nervous chattering that starts again before they start- I give a very inappropriate, "Woo!" A couple other people just kind of match her 'cause they're like, "Oh, is that what we're doing? Woo." Um, and you watch as, like, this sort of, like, line starts to form, and they start inviting people up.
It's kind of a slow process. You know, there's only maybe 100 people here, if that. And you watch as, um, people get called up. They're asked to, like, hold the elder's hand. They look into the pool, and it's like, "Oh, you have to go to the mountains and get this sacred gem that only, you know, forms every 100 years."
Very... Stuff like that. Um, [00:26:00] and there's this air of great respect as people take these quests. Again, as they called it, these are destined quests. They look into a divination pool. They figure out what the fates themselves have decided is a good test for you to really, like, know whether this is your line of work, make you learn something about yourself.
You know, that kind of thing. Um- As we're walking through the line, I'm just, like, wringing my robe and- ... like, leaving a puddle of water behind me. I'm, I'm, I'm just in front of you, and I'm j- I've got two fushigis, and I'm just going like this. Whoa. And I'm, I'm far behind them. I'm just- You're all good at this.
Thank you. You're- That, that's, like, his one trick. Yeah, but he's really good. You notice there's, like, a good five feet on either side of your group hole in the line. Why do you always have to be a critic? I have been doing magic since we left, and all you've had to say are bad things. Dude, do you think you could teach me how to juggle?[00:27:00]
Last, last I checked, I did most of the work in that fight. That's not fair Oh, you guys also have money? I tried. And trying is half the battle. That's true. Right? Like how I'm gonna try to juggle. I can juggle, for the record. I take both fishies, one goes up. I literally just... But it's just two balls. It's like there's no third.
So this looks extremely lame. Like, it's just me tossing and catching one thing. And I'm like... A- and after, like, the third one, I go, "Mm. What do you think? 10 out of 10, right?" Awesome. I like this guy. I, I think you should... You took the loans out for clown school for nothing, bud. There's a school? Self-taught.
That's great. Self-taught. Thank you. Gerry's just, Gerry's just done. He's just... At least somebody understands my art around here. [00:28:00] Um, you kinda overhear, like, the missions people get are quite different in their scope. Um, you know, some people, they have to do something relatively simple. You know, go here and fetch this thing.
Other things are, like, you have to clear out this dungeon, or reclaim this area from the monsters. So, you know, you see some things sound significantly more challenging than others, which is kind of like the mixed bag of this experience. Um, and as you're arguing about clown college and- ... its merits, um, a elderly opossum-esque woman- Mm
in the forest folk garbs will look down to you, Gerry, with a G- ... and s- say, "Ah, forest kin, why don't you step forward?" Gerry's just gonna slowly step forward. And he's just gonna be like, "I'm from the Sky Kingdom." Oh. [00:29:00] Uh, he looks a little surprised, you know. Yeah. He's a little- I imagine ... he's a little older, but, um, sort of peace between these kingdoms again is only a couple centuries old.
Mm. Uh, and still a little weird in places, so the idea of like- How old is this guy? You know, he's a very old opossum. This is a, this is a magic world. A few years. He's old. He's old. Yeah. You look at him, he's very old. He has, like... His eyes are just cataracts. Um, he has a walking stick in either hand.
Okay. So a broken walker is what he's got going on? No, he's like- He's got ski, like, ski poles. Like- Yeah, exactly. Like... Never mind. Not even facing the right direction. He seems to be navigating pretty well considering the fact he definitely cannot have, like, vision. That's the magic of it all. Right. Um- Okay.
So Jerry's gonna step [00:30:00] up and yeah. Uh, and he seems very, like, you know, old person amused by that. Like, "Oh, a forest folk of the sky. Times really are changing." As he, like, walks you over- Yeah ... um, to the divination pool. Um, and he will hold out his gnarled little opossum paws to you. Say, "Hold my hands, child."
He's just gonna grab your hands and hold them with, like- Ooh. ... that bone-crushing intensity of an old man. You're doing great, bud. Um, and as you are holding his hands, you will see the pool start to kinda swirl. And then you'll see yourself, like a little chibi Jerry, I imagine- ... walking along the river. That's scary.
He says, "Oh, I see that you will have others that will join you upon this journey." And you see a little chibi merman. And there's just a look of sheer horror crossing my face. There's a little chibi merman. And it's slowly [00:31:00] clicking in my brain. "Oh, dear God, I'm stuck with this clown." And then you see a little chibi penguin, kinda taller than the other ones.
And then there's, like, a pause, and then running to catch up, and kinda tripping and then standing up. There's a little chibi clown. Yes. Um, and you see them. And I go, I go right up behind him and I go, "Whoa, it looks like me!" Hey, shut up. He's like, "All of you, come forward." Dude. And he's still holding your hands as he's like...
Looks like we're best friends forever now. That's the rule. Um, and you see them kinda like traversing this little cartoon map. And they walk up to what appears to be a little chibi high elder. Ooh. Um, and they're talking to them. And then the high elder holds out this glowing egg. And you guys kinda hold it up, you know, cartoon character style.
"Ah, I see. Yes. You're destined, quest, all of you. You must go to each kingdom, meet with the high elder, and obtain from them a moment of goodwill." [00:32:00] That sounds like a lot of work. Well, if you prove yourself up for the task, there's the position of envoy on the line for you. So I would say it's the right amount of work.
With the four of you together, that should make for an easier journey as well. Not all are so lucky to be blessed with traveling companions. And he looks at, like, the clearly malding Gerry. "This will be great, guys." Gerry's just, like, so mad online, and he's just like, "No, this will be very good. You know, sometimes being an envoy is quite solitary work, so you look for these moments of companionship where you can.
It is with these moments of goodwill that we are able to ask the goddess herself a question. You will return these to us so that we can ask how to best continue to create a thriving kingdom. So I think it's a quite important task. Yes, you, clown friend." Hi. Candle. [00:33:00] Nice to meet you. "A pleasure to meet you."
He gives you a crushing handshake. Hmm, gross. Clammy. Very. Uh, anyway. So quick question. When you say moment of goodwill and we gotta bring it back, so, like, does that mean, you know, chilling with the boys, kind of, and then we bring back the boys? What- What are we bringing? No, no. I apologize. Let me, uh, right. A moment of goodwill is a magical artifact that can only be created by a high elder, and the cost for such a magical artifact to be created is a favor done for them by someone with good intentions.
Heroic intentions, even. So you will go to them, they will divine a appropriate task, and in return you'll be given a moment of goodwill. And you look back down at the divination pool to you guys, like, dancing around this little egg. Oh, look how happy we look, guys. That's gonna be awesome. It just, it just sounds like we're getting paid to do things for them.[00:34:00]
I think that's the, like, the whole thing. We're just house rabbits. Upon your successful collection and return of the four moments of goodwill, you will be welcomed into the envoys.
Now, does that sound good? Mm. Is one of us heroic? Excellent. Now hurry along. I've got- All right ... 57 more people to do this. Okay. Whoa. Is it too late to ask the goddess for a new quest? You only get the one, my friend. Okay. It's destiny. Is it too late to ask for new companions? Can I ask destiny? We've already asked destiny.
This is your answer. Oh, the goddess's name is Destiny. Darn. Yeah, so, uh, a quick sort of, like, pop-up tutorial about the belief system- ... of this world. Whoa. I'm just imagining us all stepping away from the elder. Wa-bam. Donk. Yeah, like- Yeah, walk, like physically walking into it. Donk. Whoa. So like a letter just hits you in the [00:35:00] face.
Yeah. Um, and you open it. You're like, "Oh." What's this? Wow, this society believes in a soul goddess known simply as the Goddess. Um, and she is believed to be guided by these sort of metaphysical concepts known as the Fates. Um, so the elders work very closely with the Fates, and thus the Goddess. Um, it's believed that your quest kinda comes directly from her, and thus them, the Fates, and questioning it is not really, like- So she drew the little chibi dudes?
'Cause she's a great artist. She really is. All right, now hurry along. I have- All right, listen ... many more... Thank you. And he starts kinda, like, swatting you away. Oh, man. So Destiny and Fate, the two goddesses. Got it. Destiny. I dated a girl named Destiny. That was... I should call her. What is calling people then?
Well, yeah. It's like- Go to their house and call them. You know, be like, "Hey." Destiny. Hold up, hold up your big noise-making box and you- It's made of shells.[00:36:00]
It ju- it just has the- It's the system shells ... it just has the squid playing drums. Inside is several aquatic animals. No, stop. Like, stop. You throw, like, a squid at her window, and like, pkh, pkh, it like slides down. It's like throwing rocks at someone's window to get their attention. I'm like, "Thanks, Jerry."
'Cause the squid's name is also Jerry. Don't want to j... Um, but yeah. So the Goddess, sometimes called the Goddess, sometimes called Destiny, sometimes just called, like, you know, whatever. It's a very old concept that has existed throughout the kingdom, so you'll hear different things to refer to her. It's all the one same, you know, soul goddess.
Doing some monotheism in RPGs to- Whoa ... shake it up. Whoa. Something new and crazy. Um- Whoa. But yeah, um- Whoa, I know religion. I th- You know, I don't wanna speak for your characters, but walking down, I think it's probably occurring to you, like, just how [00:37:00] little you really get. Like, there's not really an information packet.
Yeah. And that does kind of- Match up with everyone else. They were just told like, "Oh, go here and get this thing." But you don't really get any sort of follow-up information, which is sort of a fun, a fun little part of the challenge. What you do know, another letter strikes you in the back. Doh. Um, again, there's only really one high elder per kingdom.
They're not necessarily the ruler of that kingdom. The kingdoms have different rulers. Like for example, uh, the Shining Citadel has the whole council of elders who report to a queen. The queen has kind of become increasingly more ceremonial, but there's a council of elders. How they e- exactly play into each kingdom is slightly different.
They each have this high elder who's considered very magical and very connected to this whole, like, spirits and destiny thing. So that's why you're dealing with them personally. Um- Yeah. There's one here in the Shining Citadel, so that might be the easiest place to start. [00:38:00] I mean, I guess you could just like walk across the map and come back, but-
you're already here. We'll take the eagles. Or we could leave. Well, I, I live back in Equatio and I've got an airship. I didn't bring it with me 'cause I wanted, like, you know, the experience of- ... leaving home and being all like, "Do, do, do." But, uh, that would make things maybe a little easier if we wanted to go back- You live-
to there. You live in the ocean. Wh- why do you have an airship? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I live in the stilts, man. I live in the stilts off the ocean, off of the city. It... It's a stereotype, man. I don't live in the ocean, I live on top of the ocean. Well, check yourself. And sometimes in the ocean. Just like how you don't live in a forest, Geri.
Why do you- Whoa. Casting stones. Geri just nods his head and, like, in like apologetic way. No, no, it's fine, man. But if we wanted to do that, I'm, I'm totally down. Would you prefer [00:39:00] to start at the... I mean, we are here. It's not far. We could go... We could leave. You know, I think- I think leaving's a good idea ... I think we should stay here 'cause he really wants to leave.
Yeah, you seem real uncomfortable. You wanna unpack that? Don't we have to come back here anyways? No. This- He doesn't wanna unpack it. I think we should go. This ambigious clown wants to leave. You bring up a wonderful point. So think about this- Uh-huh ... we go now. Uh. Get your airship, do water place, sky place, forest place, come back to this place very last.
Uh-huh. Very, very last. Maybe even never. Maybe even never. Right? You lost me. So l- let me- Look, I'm, I'm, I'm constructing a word image. Uh-huh. I'm an artist with my sounds. Right. Come back here last, and then we- There are definitely sounds coming out of your mouth ... and then, right? And then we call it a day.
That's my vote. I mean- All in favor? ... Jack ended in here, so I'm, I'm good with that. All in, all in favor? [00:40:00] Whatever. What's your problem, Geri? I just wanna get this done with. Come on, bucker up, chum. We're, we're, we're together for the next... How long does it take to get to the water place? Eh, not too long. I won't- There's the river that we came here by.
Yeah. Follow the river. I will say, the Equatio Kingdom's definitely sort of the closest. Um- It goes- ... you know, the Shining Citadel is kind of somewhat close to the shore. It's sort of the last big hilltop before you get into coastal region. Um, there's some smaller lake coastal towns there, and then your Equatio Kingdom, baby.
Yeah. I can pick up more seaweed on the way. Perfect. Love a snack. Look, that's my idea. Geri, do you have any input or? My only input- I can't really swim. Oh, no, you'll be fine. I'm a mouse that was raised in the sky. I can put you in my book bag. Nothing in there gets wet. I just don't know how long you'll be able to breathe in there for.[00:41:00]
And anytime you need- Probably a few minutes ... uppies, on my shoulders. Anytime. Uppies. Hold on. To be fair, to be fair- We should start walking before I shoot one of you. Okay. Okay. Oh, no. Did I offend? I did not mean to. Oh, that's heinous. I apologize. I just meant if you ever needed a boost, I'm here for you, 'cause I got these killer shoulders.
That, that's a- And I'm made of muscle, my shoulders ... that's much better than describing them as uppies. It's just a direction, man. I've got, like, seven sisters. It's hard to, like, break that habit. I apologize. What are their names? A lot of them. I got... We, we'll wait to do... We'll, we'll do this. All right. No, please.
Okay. Yeah, go on. Hold on. All right. So there's Aqua- Uh-huh ... Adrina, Adele, Amy, Aurora, and Avery. You named six. And I've got six sisters.
What happened to the seventh? And me, Squid. What happened to the seventh? I don't know. Squid was the seventh sister. Yeah. [00:42:00] Uh- And you know what? Great for Squid. That's, that's amazing. Okay. So yeah, I, I think we have a pretty good pl- Actually, you not being able to swim brings up a great idea. I can't breathe underwater.
Again, most of it's above water. You can... You can go above water. But we, but we have to go to the elder who's underwater. We don't know that for sure. We do. Unless we do. This has been true for a long time, but I also can't- Um, you could probably roll... Let's see. I'll let you figure that out. I'm just gonna assume the person who runs the water society- It's like above water
is in the water. There's above and below. There's, there- Is there, like, a caste system to living above and below? Um- There's tubes. There's a series of tubes. What is this, Gungan? Maybe. Uh, I'm gonna have you roll- I'm glad I didn't go with that accent.
So a pop-up for our viewers at home who probably have not played this game before. If you have, awesome. Um, all of the [00:43:00] rolls in this game are made via rolling two dice based on your stats. So any roll is gonna involve two stats rolled. This is very purely a figuring something out roll, so we are going to roll insight and then insight again.
All right, so that's two D8s, right? Uh, one at a time. Or one at a time? Uh, roll them together. Oh. And then add the number Four of them. Yeah, you're like, "Of course I would know that, I grew up there." And then you're like... It would've been, like, a while. Yeah, you weren't really paying attention to, like, your civics class.
I remember the stilts. In sea high school. In sea high school. And you don't really remember who the current elder is or where they live. Nah. I have an idea. Let's go to the library. Oh, that's a great idea. Here in the Shining Citadel, where you wanna leave? I don't know if the other places have libraries I can read from.
Why not? I, I could read. [00:44:00] I can read. I can't read underwater, one. Two- Underwater, the language. That feels like a stereotype. I'm saying... No, I'm not saying language. I'm saying I can't physically read documents with water in my eyes. Second thing, um, so, like, we're here now. Mm. If we're gonna figure out where we're going and stuff like that, let's read up where we're going, like, what the places are like.
So then why don't we just do the task here first? I realize I've digging, I'm digging myself in a bit of a hole. So you're from around here? Your logic is good, but your magic- I feel, in some ways, I was born perhaps here. Okay. So you know where the library is. I do know where the library is. All right. Well, let's go.
I love a library. Wait, well, don't you know where the- He clearly wasn't there enough ... don't you know where the High Elder is, too? I do feel obligated to remind the group, you don't have to listen to David. You don't. You don't. Sometimes David says things. That's true. I, I mean, I don't know where it is.
You're hap- I'm happy to do whatever you want. We can go to the- I wanna go- ... whatever you would want. [00:45:00] I wanna go there. Jerry was hoping he would just be on his own, so. I just wanna remind the class, you don't have to listen to David. I know. I, I know. I just like when ideas come up. And I like the supporting.
Don't you know where the High Elder here is? I do have an ability that just lets me disappear and reappear next episode. According to some sources, I may or may not know that. Oh. Give me insight plus insight. What- Very low check. Insight plus insight. Okay. Very low check for you. I'll need- Very low check. I got, I got it.
Just come on. Uh, seven. Yeah. Um, you would know that the current High Elder of the Shining Citadel is Lady Iris. She is the grandmother of the current queen, so she would be in the castle probably
I'm down for going I'm down for whatever you guys wanna do really. You know- I say we go get my airship ... you know, I don't wanna, I don't wanna cut off anybody's ideas or their creative flow. What do you guys wanna do?[00:46:00]
I guess we'll get the airship Mm-hmm. It is an airship. It's above the water, which seems to be a concern to you guys. It is. Promise? Hit it. Well, it's up. We'll double back to you when you leave so quickly later. For now, let's go get the airship. Yeah, we don't... Okay, let's go. We'll, we'll double back for that.
We, we don't have to. Mm. We could stop by the library in Equinsia if we wanted to. If you wanna, if you still wanna get that library jones out, I t- totally understand. I do love a good magazine. Thank you for, thank you- Absolutely. Thank you for seeing me. Do you wanna head to the library? We'll go to the library, but, uh, when we go to, um- Yeah.
Airship first, library later. His favorite is Clown Monthly. As well-traveled as I am, I just start walking in the direction of... Where's the place called again? A que- I believe I'm saying it correctly. Yes. Equatio? Equatio. Equatio. Yeah. Let's go. Um, [00:47:00] so I think you discuss, and then kinda just like that, you are headed out.
Um, another sort of quick aside for this game, just to kinda do the rules explanations now. You guys have this fun little thing called inventory points- Ooh ... which you get to spend on inventory items. Mm-hmm. Um- Kinda wish I'd brought a backpack now, but- There's a list somewhere I'll have to get out, but for sort of finite, finite consumable items like potions and barebone basics, stuff like that, you don't have to worry about having it in advance.
We sort of just go with the flow. And of course, narratively you would've bought that at some point, but in the game we don't really have to sit and worry about sending you to the store to buy things. There are certain things, like, you know, if you wanna buy an airship, that's not bought with inventory points that get you, like, a single potion.
But, um, yeah. So we can assume you guys are still all kind of packed for this journey- Yeah ... because you probably would have prepared a little to set [00:48:00] out once you got your mission. You've got your little baggie full of egg salad sandwiches or whatever it is. Ugh. They're a little warm by now, but don't worry about it.
Um- Just keep drinking from a, a bottle labeled clown juice. I hate that. But it's like one of those seltzer spray bottles, and you're just going- What color- ... in your mouth ... is clown juice? Oh, brown. Nice. You just see Bubbles put their ba- bag on their front side, and then, like, there's just a bunch of seaweed.
Just grabs one and just starts munching on it like a long noodle. You, you want some clown juice for that, or? What is it? It's clown juice. What do I smell? Brown. I don't know what that means, but- Ugh, ugh, ugh ... translate that for yourself. Really hate that. Just giant palm around it and take a sip. It's like a seltzer, like spray.
You gotta, like, spray it in your mouth. It's what he brought up. I... Yeah, you ever seen, like, the bottles, like it's- Like the clowns do, and it sprays in their face [00:49:00] instead? Yeah. Can I just take the little spritz off? To drink clown juice, you must drink like a clown. Sure, go ahead. Pour a little bit in my mouth.
I can't. It, it, you imagine it tastes like what a licking a table must taste like . Hmm. Oh, this is great. You should, you should have the rest of that. I will, thank you. It's for later. All right. And now I'm just imagining since this is what a table tastes like, that it's just a bottle of varnish. It's a bottle of varnish.
It's really good. Don't try it. There's like tears streaming down your face. Pobel's, are you all right? It was so good. You just feel it going down your throat. Ugh. Um, yeah, it's a quick descent out of the city, 'cause leaving the city you just, it's all downhill, nice and easy. Um, you're kinda walking past some of the other envoys who are headed out on their own or maybe they also got paired up with someone.
So you're kinda mostly walking past other people that look like they're about to go adventuring at a point. You hit [00:50:00] sort of the outskirts of the city where it starts to fade into, like, you know, smaller little villages built on the outside, and then you're kind of on the coastal region. There's sparse trees.
The dirt is getting a little sandier as you're walking along. Um, is there anything you're doing or discussing to bide your time as you're walking?
All right, let's go. Jerry's just- Ugh. Jerry's just dreading every moment of this. What should I do with this? He was really hoping- Should I- ... he'd be one of the envoys that got picked to be alone ... oh, look at it? Look at it. Okay. You're watching, like- All right, I got it. I'll give it back ... other people walk by with, like- Oh, wait I'm just looking at other people walking by longingly wishing I had what they had right now.
Give it back. Okay, I'll give it back. Wait. No, you keep it. Can I have it back? Okay. Oh, all right. I know what it is. Are you sure you don't need it? I think I do. I think I do. Okay, here. All right. So- I'll be doing a lot of sketching and stuff if we see, like- Mm, no ... any animals or creatures and stuff. Jerry just has [00:51:00] his cloak- Just close it
and his gun. He packed pretty light. I don't want that. But he is packing. You know what? I'm, I'm just starting to think it's the deck of cards. Kendall just lights it on fire and throws it on the ground. Whoa! That'll be really good security- Where was the fire magic in the fight, bud? Missed 'em twice. So, um, I definitely was planning to travel today.
Um, so- Ooh, I have travel things. Yes, we are in- Are we on the world map? Technically, yeah. We are on the world map. Ooh, and the group- We're about to map ... journey's on the world map. I can make discover rolls for SL plus one or lower on the travel roll. I don't want to discover. Oh, when you said travel RPG, you literally meant, like, straight up RPG world map.
We're traveling in our little mini stuff. Yeah, we don't have a world map on the board, unfortunately. But imagine, you know, you guys are literally, like, your little faces moving along. Yeah. Um, so SL means skill level. Okay. If you took the skill once, it is one. Oh, uh-oh. [00:52:00] I am a wayfarer level two. I don't know if that means anything.
Um- You select the skills. Yeah. So, like, you have two different skills? I have two different skills. They're- Treasure hunter and well traveled. So they're both level one. Okay. Um, so you get to use it, whatever that SL thing was. Plus one. One. Yeah. Okay. So two. So you're rolling to discover something? I guess.
Make a discovery roll- Ooh, okay ... um, on the travel roll. I have it up on my phone. Oh, the travel roll? Yeah. Yeah, so the travel roll. Oh, thanks. Ahem. I'm open. Uh, for those joining us at home, this is page 106. Oh. If you, if you open up your Fabula Ultima books that you have sitting right beside you, that you haven't spilled iced tea on.
Oh, come on. Come on. We're gonna have a pop quiz later. You better keep those open. I think the quality of the book shows the fact that the book isn't damaged by the iced tea. Oh, yeah, the book is- Only the dust jacket was. I... No joke. Mm-hmm. Like, I was at an art show setting up my table, had this down so I could read it to prepare for this, spilled an [00:53:00] entire, like, one of those, like, 12-ounce, like, things of tea on the floor.
This sat in that for about 30 to 45 minutes, and the book looks completely fine. Like, maybe a little at the bottom, but, like, this is, like, a waterproof book. Wow. That's a solid product, everybody. Anyway, uh- So it, it says, uh, "When your group journey's on the world map, you may make a discovery on a roll of SL or lower on the travel roll, instead of only on a one."
So I guess if we- Oh, SL or lower ... when we... I can, uh, two or lower, I get, uh, to, I find a... I don't know. Yeah. I make a discovery. So a travel roll for you. Um, when we travel, meaning we're between, you know, major points in the- In the world map, we are assessing the threat level and deciding if you encounter anything on your way.
Ooh. Considering we're firmly between the two kingdoms right now, I would consider this an appropriate time to make a travel roll. Okay. Um, I get to pick the threat level based on kind of where we are. Excuse me? Jeez. Um- How I feel about how you're playing your character. [00:54:00] It is kind of, like, based on the area.
For example, we're on a pretty controlled road at the minute, so we're not as protected as if we were in a city. Mm. But we're not, like, wandering the open mouth of a volcano right now either. Right. Um- Which is apparently a possibility. Mm-hmm. So we have what I would count as a, mm, you know what? Just for making me travel, we're doing a medium threat level.
Oh, no. So- We, we've bothered the DM. We're next to a river or a hill.
Um... This is what we get One of you can roll a d10 for me. A d10. I don't know how that interacts- I got it ... with your discover roll thing. I don't know. I mean, I, it's... It says I can make a discovery or lower on the travel roll. It doesn't even say if I make it. Then you just need one of us to roll a d10? Yeah.
Anyone? Well, if she rolls it, she gets a good thing on a two or lower. It says discover- Oh, okay ... it says discovery. When your group travels or when [00:55:00] you... Yeah, you will make a discovery on a roll of, on a travel roll. Uh- Jerry's discovered his way out. And I have been really good at, uh, rolling ones, so let's That's a 10 though.
Oh, gosh. No. Uh, so here's the thing. Oh, no. On a six or higher, you encounter danger. No. So, so, so not a 10 though. Huh? Why don't you roll and see how, see how your luck's feeling today. Let's see. It's gonna be, like, a two. It's a four. All right. So, uh, yeah. We would've been better off. I'm sorry, guys. Damn it.
Let's see. Um, you guys are walking along, minding your business. Um, you're kind of in your own zones right now. You're recovering from clown juice. You're looking increasingly mo- more morose every time you see, like, a lone traveler walk past. Just, just, just making sure my pistol's loaded. Um, and you two are [00:56:00] probably, like, the chattier members of the group.
Um- Okay. New deck? New deck. All right. You take this one. Okay. Don't let me look at it. All right. Can I have a dex plus insight check from everyone? Oh, boy. A what? Sorry. You guys- Dex plus insight. 10. Um, that's a seven plus two, so a nine. I got, uh, I got eight. Okay. Seven plus a one. A 10. 10. I think I rolled- Got two fives
two D6s. Yeah, an 11. An 11, okay. So yeah, all around- That's pretty good ... a pretty decent group average. Um, Bubbles, you are the first to hear- I'm gonna save it for later. Uh- And you take this one. And you save that for later ... this sort of like
You're like What was that noise again? Just for clarification's sake. Yeah, Appleck's like, "Meh." Exactly like that. Terrible. Laughs like a Nickelodeon character. [00:57:00] Does Wobbles freak out? I hear a cool noise. Uh- I hear a cool noise. Yeah, you hear a sort of like nervous, "Oi, oi." Aw, dude. A- and every time Jerry hears that noise- I don't know what this thing eats.
I think it's hungry. Anytime Jerry hears that oi oi, it's like... Pretty sure that noise comes from our local mushroom species. They're completely harmless, but they do have- I- ... like little spores that shoot out sometimes. All right. So maybe that's what the slime eats. Ooh, spores. So we just gotta find these mushrooms- Okay
and see if it wants it. You want some mushroom? You do want some mushroom. Um, as you're- Oi ... sort of walking along, out into the road rolls what appears to be like a half rotted out jack-o-lantern. Ugh. I don't see the mushroom. It's a tragedy. The troll came. Huh. That's unusual. Halloween was five months ago.
I'll take a look at like the direction- I like how you just canonically set our timeline. [00:58:00] I look in the direction of where it rolled from. It's Fextember. I just, I hold it up like a detective at a crime scene and I just go-
This city's a sick, sick place. He was too young. It's a beautiful jack-o'-lantern. I look for my shoulders. All right. Uh, as you're- As you're... Sorry, I'm reading things. It's fine. As you're investigating this thing, it rolls over so you can kinda see its face. Ugh. And it's just, uh, this kind of creepily carved pumpkin, um, which at first, you know, seems like- Wait
your average creepy pumpkin. But Candle is holding it, so is this happening in Candle's hands? Yes. So you look at it. Um, and you notice there is a- Suddenly twitch, you're like... It- its little eyes start to glow, like, pinpoint red in the middle, and it goes, "Ah," again. And its mouth sort of moves. It's, [00:59:00] "I, I put it down."
Um, you've heard of these, but you thought they just were made up for, like, spooky stories. This is a cursed pumpkin. Um Yeah, just toss it. Can I, can I aim my gun when Candle tosses it, try and shoot it? Sure. We're gonna enter an initiative roll. Oh. Yeah. What do we roll for initiative again? That's... Um, so you just have an initiative.
Okay. Oh, okay. Where's my...
Where's my initiative? Should just be on your thing. There's initiative modifier. Which is zero. Mine's bl- That was my dice ... mine is also blank. Hold on. Mine is zero. I'm gonna pull up the combat sheet. We rolled something for initiative. We did, we did, we did. I'm pulling it up. There's defense and magic defense.
No, we definitely rolled something, I just don't remember which table it was. Okay, hold on. We definitely did roll. You having a modifier. I'm gonna pull up conflict scenes. So- My audience, I'm gonna let the smarter people figure this out, while I sit back and do whatever they tell me. Yay. Um, [01:00:00] all right. I'm just imagining, like, any time Val has to figure something out, it's like someone just paused their game and walked away.
So, first of all, we need to determine which characters will actively partake in this conflict. Oh, right, we get to, yeah, we get to pick. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Are you all partaking in kicking this pumpkin? Yeah. If Jerry's going for it- Yeah. I'll participate in identifying it. Okay. That is not what we said. One minute in, Val.
Everyone needs to discuss their goals. All right. What are your goals here? My goal is to shoot this pumpkin right now. That's a, that's a, that's a good goal. I would like to identify what the pumpkin is so that I can let my friends know if they're friendly, and we can do something with it. Yeah, okay.
That's also a good goal. Mm-hmm. I wanna make Jerry look cool by tossing it in the air. That's nice of you. I'm gonna stab it if anything goes wrong. Awesome. Yes, okay. So- And maybe roasted pumpkin seeds afterwards. [01:01:00] Ooh. Maybe. I like this idea. Whole turkey. This is what it was. Okay. Big seed. So we... Perfect.
We're going to do an initiative group check. Okay. Group checks have special rules, um, which I will also pull up. Group check.
Need another D8. You have to nominate a leader for this group check. Jerry. Yeah, I feel like he should. I guess Jerry's initiating the combat. Yeah. So, yeah. All right. Try to shoot it. Uh, this is a character who will perform the final check, so the rest of you are Jerry's supporters in this moment. Jerry.
Jerry. Uh, so each Jerry supporter is going to perform- Each Jerry supporter. Each Jerry supporter. I support you, Jerry. You're all gonna roll a dex plus insight check. Can we put- And I just care whether it's better than 10. Can we put that on a shirt, Jerry supporter? Jerry for president. It is 11. Yay. I support Jerry.
Vote me 2038. Jerry, Jerry. Um- Eight Okay. That does nothing. The first name starts with a G, the last name [01:02:00] starts with a J. Yeah. Okay. So, from Squid's successful roll, you get- Does the- ... one extra point. Does a modifier count for this? This is initiative, right? Yes. You have a modifier to your- Okay
The initiative. I'll say the initiative modifier will count for this Cool, so I have a four instead of a six. Cool. Thank you for checking. So, so what do I, what am I doing? Um, all right. So now you are making a dex plus insight roll, adding a plus one from Squid's successful initiative. You said dex and insight?
Excuse me. Mm-hmm. All right
Cool. That is a eight plus five, so we're looking at 13 off the bat, and it was a plus what? Um, one plus your insight or your initiative bonus, if you have one. I don't have an initiative bonus. So just the 13 then. I don't get anything from Squidge? Well, I thought you- I thought I get something from Squidge Ball
my support. Oh, plus one, sorry. So that's 14 then. 14, awesome. We're gonna compare that to the pumpkin's. If this pumpkin has a better initiative than me- That'd be so funny. It is a literal gourd. [01:03:00] Yeah, it's a gourd. A cursed gourd, mind you. Um- So the way that this works is- ... um, turn based. We're gonna go player character, pumpkin, player, character.
If we run out of pumpkin, which currently there's only one, it would just go player, character, pumpkin. Currently. PC, PC. Excuse me. Um, but we rotate between PC and NPC until one group runs out of- Life ... life. And then, um, they just get to, you know, some action advantage there. Mm-hmm. Um, action economy. There we go.
Um, so with that said, you guys decide each round who is gonna go in what order. Yeah. I imagine we're starting with Gery right now. Yeah. But that is your choice to make
I believe in you, Jabber All right. [01:04:00] That's cute. I don't like that. I guess I just do a normal... Actually, he's- No, I just- Is there anything wrong between love between a man and mouse? Of mice and cloud. Of mice and cloud. What is- I don't know. Look at the bunnies, Candle. Look at the bunnies. All right. I, I guess I could just attack normally with my pistol, which is...
What is that? HR plus eight physical damage plus HR. So I roll dex plus insight for that. Important HR. Oh. So, yeah. Let me switch to our, our cool combat song from the soundtrack. What's the H- what's the HR thing? That's- There we go. Love hearing that ... over here. So I, I'd roll dex plus insight for my attack.
Yep. Um- Mm-hmm. And then there's the HR plus eight physical. Yes. What's the HR again? That's- It's the high roll. Okay. Uh- Gotcha ... rewinding a bit, you're gonna roll first and add those two numbers together- Yeah ... to see if you beat his defense
I got a [01:05:00] nine. Okay. Um- It's got like a 20 to find. It is one- What is this gourd? ... giant gourd. Let me check really quick to see. Halloween's next week, bud. Jay. Trick or treat. That's your accuracy check. Yeah. And score. I got a nine. Speed. This campaign- Okay ... is gonna be way more ridiculous. And so you just succeeded.
Yeah. So you get to shoot this pumpkin- Let's go ... in the face. Yeah. So how do we decide how much damage? Use the high roll- Uh- ... plus the eight? Yep, so the higher of those two numbers, and then- So that's gonna be plu- seven plus eight, that is 15. Okay. Yeah, he takes 15 damage. Pshew. Shoot that gourd. Dude, nice shot.
Just- Yeah. It, uh, now has like... It didn't have a nose carved into it before, but now it has- ... a nose that goes through to the other side. Um, and it- So I, like, bullseyed this thing ... it is now scowling. It does not like that. [01:06:00] Ooh. As it sort of hits the ground and thunk, thunk, thunk. Um, so- Yeah, that's right. You better run.
We go to the pumpkin's turn. Uh, two more pumpkins roll out from the bushes. Of course. Oh. Come on. Uh, one of them has, like, a little silly face with, like, dizzy eyes, and the other one is, like, a sad clown. It looks, it looks intensely at you. It's a gang of gourds. This racially insensitive pumpkin is mine.
It's, it's a gang- Sad clown is a species. It is. It's gang of gourds. Uh. Ooh, okay. The gourdy group. So the dizzy looking pumpkin is going to use its, its signature spell, pumpkin puke. Ooh. Um- On who? Let's see. I get vomited on. Let's, let's roll a D4. One, two, three, four. Oh, no. Okay. That is a two. All right, let's go.
Um, so we're gonna roll-[01:07:00]
That is a 13 against your magic defense. Yeah, no, it beats it. Okay. Um- What is with these pumpkins? Do you know my core goes? Yeah, you just get- You get slightly rank-smelling pumpkin guts on you. Ugh. Uh, until the spell- To have a polite, it makes good clown juice. Oh. Ugh. Until the spell ends, any source that would deal poison damage to you will do five additional damage.
All right. But I'm not poisoned, just my pants- No ... are poisoned. Your pants are poisoned because- Wild idea, if they have a spell like that, they're probably gonna poison us. What? That's crazy. Um, okay. Hmm. That is the first pumpkin's turn. Uh, you guys get to pick who goes next. Well, Gery's already gone, so it's one of y'all.
I'll s- I'll, uh, if any are close to me, I'll stab 'em m- with my spear. You just got puked on. I imagine one's close to you. I mean, I, yeah. Well, that, that- You could just projectile vomit. Let's go. I'm gonna stab the one that's pu- uh, yeah, I'm gonna try and stab the one that's closest. It's like a big torrent of [01:08:00] puke- Yeah
or they say. With a torrent of puke. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna try and get that one. So, uh- Hope it doesn't- I, uh, use dexterity plus insight, or what, what do I do? Uh, whatever the two stats tied to your spear are. My de- Would you like to- Dexterity and might ... drink a clown pumpkin? Yes. All right. Dexterity and might.
I have a plus one to my dexterity, so does that matter for that? I believe that adds it. So I have... Wait. This. So this or no? No, I think you just add a plus- Plus one, okay. That makes sense ... like a literal plus one. All right. Uh, six and three. Yep. Is nine. That will hit this cursed pumpkin. Fantastic. Plus one, so 10.
All right, nice. Um, so you're gonna take the higher number from that- Which is my six ... and add that to the bonus you get to your spear. Plus 12. Dang. Okay. So you do, uh- 18 ... all right, cool. Dang. Now it's with face. Spinny little face. You're carving up that jack-o'-lantern. Yeah. Getting all my pumpkins in a row over here.
All right. [01:09:00] Okay. Um, yeah, you slice into the pumpkin with your spear. Oh. Um, and now it has, like, a little, like, eyebrow. Now it's a cool pumpkin. It's like- Oh, now you're cool ... it's got, it's got an eyebrow slit now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, all right. That brings us to our next pumpkin. We already had dizzy pumpkin go.
Uh, it's- Oh, it's clown pumpkin time. Mm, let's go angry pumpkin. Oh. He has more at stake for now. Angry pumpkin is gonna roll back over towards Gery, um, and just, like, honk, attempt to bite your ankle. That is dex plus what? Is that what you're doing? Yeah. Fuck. Gery likes to have a menacing presence. Uh, that's gonna miss with a three.
Yeah, that's a definite miss. Uh, it just starts kind of, like, rolling towards you, and you just back up, and it rolls away. I like to imagine, like, Gery, Gery sidesteps, and his cloak flows when he does it. And he's just like- Ooh. Ole. Very [01:10:00] cool till you remember you're naked underneath. You're like, "Ah, no." Um, okay.
I'm a mouse. Yeah, I know. It's just funny. But I'm also ripped, so I've got like a six-pack. I'm like a mouse with a six-pack. Uh, all right. Who's going next? We have Candle or Bubbles. Did you say that the pumpkin throw-up thing was a spell? Yes. Uh, what kind of creature is this? Uh- It's a cur- it's a gourd ... it's a plant.
It's a plant? I forgot to do this, but can I do my spell mimic now? Uh, yeah. You can get pumpkin puke as a spell if you'd like. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Are you just gonna keep that forever? Uh, yeah, basically. So this, this seven-foot horrifying penguin is gonna spew pumpkin guts at some point. I'm gonna do it right now.
Yeah. Do we have any way to do poison to them, though? I don't. I have a gun. You have that gamble spell. Maybe there's some poison in there somewhere. There's n- There's- ... not, I think You can feed them clown juice. So- ... that was actually- Potent poison ... this is my inspiration right now, so. [01:11:00] If it's okay if I go next.
Yeah, no, you go. Um, Bubbles is gonna look at all the pumpkins and be like, "Oh, no, why? I think it's coming back up," and-
Oh. Oh, what if I- It's just gonna be a bunch of clown juice and- ... and pumpkin puree at one of these pumpkins. Oh, my God. You're gonna roll might plus willpower. Yep. You g- have to pick one pumpkin with this spell. That's fine. And it's gonna cost you 10 magic. Oh, my God. All right. Would you like to do clown, angry, or dizzy pumpkin?
I will like do the one that got shot already. Uh, that would be angry
pumpkin, I believe. Angry pumpkin. Okay. You said might and willpower? Yep. All right, so that's two D10s. Ooh, okay. Hand dice and shiny die. That is a 12. Perfect. That will be his magic defense. Mm-hmm. And, um- Uh, so- I, I have my own, like, spell things that I do with that, but it is actually those two. Yeah. He's, [01:12:00] he's shocked.
He's- Oh, gosh. He's aghast- ... that you just did this to him. The pumpkin's like, "Why is there me on me?" Yeah, it's like- Is this what I'm doing to people? It's like, it's like the, it's like the whole, like, um- Here it come again ... the gingerbread man lives in a house of flesh. Like...
Uh, yeah. Okay. Cool. That was weird. Is that your turn? I think we all thought that was weird. Yeah, that was like- That was a little bit- Jerry is visibly disgusted. I sit on the, on the dirt, and I'm just like, by myself eating a grape. Like, Jerry comes from a society of bird folk where they- Literally eat- ... eat each other.
Yeah. And Jerry is still disgusted by this. Um- Nature, uh, finds a way, I guess. We're gonna have to slap an emetophobia warning all over this one, gang. Um- Is that the word for fear of vomit? Yes. Okay. Um, the clown pumpkin is gonna roll up to you, Candle, and stare up at you soulfully, [01:13:00] and then it's gonna cast pumpkin puke.
Does that have a mana cost that I should, like, track? Yeah, 10 and 10. Okay. They just like... Candle starts visibly panicking. He goes like, "No, no, no. This is-" That's a 14 damage. "This is such an expensive coat." Oh, no. Uh, and it just, like, o- it, uh, opens its little, like, clown shaped mouth and just blah. I like to imagine though, it's pumpkin juice, but also scarves.
Yeah, it's scarves. 'Cause it's a clown pumpkin. It's, like, orange and purple scarves.
Pondru, does that do damage, the vomit? No. Oh, okay, cool. It's more of- It's just insulting. Yeah.
I'm going to kill you now.
All right. Um- With that, it is Candel's turn. See, I was gonna do... I have, like, a spread out hit all of them attack. I'm, I'ma [01:14:00] do, I'ma do the single target attack- ... for right now. So it's first little. All right.
Uh, that is a nine A nine. Uh, are you doing magic? Yes. That does not hit. Every time. Jerry, Jerry just looks over at Candle, and he's just like...
Sorry. The, the, the spells I know to entertain children, I'm not used to firing them at people.
All right, uh, we're back to the top of the order now. So it's all me. The pumpkins have no more pumpkins, so we get another player character turn. Who would like to take the first, um, attack in this round? I'm gonna keep going with the- Okay. Yeah. All right, Cherry. So I guess it's me. Cherry, let's go. All right, so the one that tried to roll into me is the one I shot, right?
Um, yes. I'm gonna- Excuse me. I'm just [01:15:00] gonna look at it since it rolled past me, and I'm just gonna aim my pistol at it again. And I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna go for it. Okay. Um, go for it.
I got a, I got a 13 again. Or a 15, not a 13. Yeah, that was it. I can't count. So I got that, and then my HR is eight, so it's 16 damage. Oof. Okay. Um- This pumpkin's dead. This pumpkin is now in, in, in crisis. Which is what it's called when- That's right. Panic ... when they take half hit points, they're in crisis.
Panic, you gourd. Um, what, how much did you actually say, 19? Uh, no, it was 18. Okay. Uh, eight plus... Or wait, no. What? No, 16. Okay. Eight plus eight is 16. You confused me. I'm sorry. I'm a writer, not a mathematician. Um, yeah. So you shoot this thing again. It now has two noses, which is unforgivable. It's [01:16:00] not the appropriate amount of noses for a pumpkin.
Um, all right. He's gonna take immediate action to that, I think. Okay. Um, and attempt to take another bite out of you. That is a three to hit. He's really struggling. Um, I feel like he just keeps trying to bite you, and you just keep moving your leg away slightly. Hoo. Hoo. Um- Hoo-wee. Who would like to go next?
I'll, I'll do it. Um, I'm gonna try and Blade Storm too, and hit multiple targets. Whoa. Uh, which is just, I can use 10, um, I can spend 10 mind points and choose one option, attack gains Multi-2 or you can create a bond, so I'm gonna do that. Let me, um, uh... All right. So-
Oh, no. But I only rolled seven. [01:17:00] You only rolled a seven. I only rolled a seven. That will miss. Oh, no. That's okay. Someone that isn't Kendall is missing finally. Yeah. So people won't be- Am I the only one competent in this place? It's okay. Um- I just checked. I was doing the wrong math. You're very competent.
Again? Yes. Now does that... So do I declare... D- since I declared a blade strike- Here's a clown out of that position ... does that, I'm, I'm, I'm out those 10 because did I have to do that at the beginning of before I roll or? I believe if you cast a spell, whether it hits or not, you're spending. That's fine. That's fine.
Yeah. Okay. So I'm gonna- We can double check on that later- No, that's fine ... but I'm pretty sure it's- I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I'm good. Um, okay. It's the dizzy cl- or the dizzy clown. The dizzy pumpkin is going to- ... take this, uh, moment to try to roll up to you and pumpkin bite you. I don't want to get pumpkin bit.
Uh, does a nine beat your defense? It does. Okay. Uh, he is going to do, would've been 13 poison damage, is now 18 'cause you are pumpkin [01:18:00] pumed. Oh. Wait, this is a... What is he... What's he... Is this a range attack he's doing? I didn't hear. No, he's bi- I get bitten. Okay, gotcha. Sorry. My brain zoned out for a second there, 'cause I have a thing that can stop ranged attack.
That's why I was asking. Um, what was the accuracy check? I don't know. I gave up. Uh, the accuracy check? It was a nine. Dang. I get a free attack after even number accuracy checks. Mm. Right. But actually, oh, I know when we upgrade checks. I actually have 30 MP and you're just 10. Oh, God, I just looked at my defenses and I'm like, "Oh,
I'm gonna get hurt." Okay. Um, who's up next? I guess I can go. Um, but I don't think I wanna pumpkin puke again. I'm going to gamble. Please don't. So I'm still sitting on the floor, and I'm just gonna start waving my staff and like, um, something can happen. Ugh. Something's gonna happen, yes, and I'm gonna spend 20 MP to do two dice.
Um, they're my low [01:19:00] power dice. Two dice. So, sorry. My dice. So I get to roll 2 D10s- ... and choose, uh, whichever one I want. Uh, six or a seven. Um, y'all need healing right now. Um- I need- Every creature present on the scene- Just for a second ... including myself, suffers from slow now. Wait. So we're all slow now? Yep.
Yes. What does slow mean? Slow. It means, um, you roll one lower. Or like you roll the smaller dice- It rolls lower ... in dexterity. So I'd be- So if you roll a D6, you roll a D4 now. If you roll a D- Uh, it can't go below D6. Okay. My bad. So if you have a D8, it goes down to D6, D10, D8- Bruh ... D12. Yeah. Now I can't get my crazy roll.
All right. Um. Oh. Thank you, Bubbles. You're welcome. It is... Does anyone know how to do anything? They're slow now. So were we. That's- I stabbed it- ... a different issue ... that one time[01:20:00]
Squid's actively bleeding out. I can heal or slow. That'd be cool. Okay. Wait, how good's your healing? Uh, very good. Uh, clown pumpkin. So we have two healers, okay. Does a 14 hit you? Does a 14 hit me? Yes. Of course it hits you. Um, you're going to also take- I think you would make it ... 18 poison damage as you get bit by a clown.
I'm a, I'm a human thing. All right? Just to clarify. The clown pumpkin- Now I know you went clown, but- ... now is, like, attached to your leg, like, gnawing at it. How much was that? 18. Oh, that's half my health. Okay. Ooh, 18 again. Oh, God. Please, have mercy. I can't stop these things. Even with the slow? I can only stop ranged attacks.
You can talk to them. You can talk to him. Oh, wait, hold on. Are you- They're all... Everything's slow. Uh, no, it will miss you, actually. Oh. You're safe. Oh, my beautiful
cloud health.[01:21:00]
It's just all types of fires. Um, to remind you of other things that you can do during your turn if you would like, uh, you can attack, which is what we've been doing. Um, you can switch out your equipment, which doesn't really matter 'cause you don't have a lot of equipment yet. You can guard, which means you- Hmm
gain resistance to all damage types, get a plus two bonus to opposed checks, and can cover another creature to prevent foes from performing attacks against them. Um, you can perform a check against an opponent to inflict a status effect. Um, you can spend an inventory point to, like, take a health potion.
Um, you can work towards an objective within the conflict. Uh, cast a spell. Uh, if you have a skill that takes an action, you can do that. So you can guard each other is kinda the big one. If you notice, your very flimsy clown is suffering, which [01:22:00] we narrowly avoided today. I have a skill that just lets me leave.
Um- It just lets me leave and come back later How much health are you at? Um, at 42. Out of? No, uh, sorry, 32. Yeah, 32 out of 50. Out of 50? Okay, you're fine. Yeah, I'm okay right now. All right. I'm going to try this one more time. All right, I'm going to cast, I'm gonna cast Ignis. All right? And burn 30 MP to hit all three of them.
All right? Okay. And I, I forgot, I roll these two dice, and then I add two because of a skill level thing in Elementist that I didn't read Okay. Okay. Please. Okay. Now, I'm, I'm, I'm talking to the dice. Listen, I know you and I haven't had a great relationship. I need you to hit this for me or else Aaron is gonna point and laugh at me.
And I'm gonna feel really bad. Please, I beg you. This is just getting more embarrassing. Can you just stop now? You're [01:23:00] just making it worse for yourself, bud. Oh. Five. Seven. Oh, no.
That does not hit. Oh. Well, Tabletop Travel people, it's been great. Uh- ... this is the last episode I'm gonna be on. I'm leaving out of shame. If we get a million likes, we will shoot Candle. If
we get one million likes. All right, uh, back to the top of the order. Who would like to go first? I guess- Let's try again. Jerry will keep- Not with us ... bringing it from the top. All right, Jerry. Um, the one that I put in crisis is still alive, right? Yeah? Yeah, he's in crisis, but he's alive. Cool. I'm gonna make sure he feels that crisis.
I am going to... Actually, let me see this real quick. I can, I can do multi, so I'm gonna spend, uh, 10 [01:24:00] mind points to make it multi so I can attack multiple. Yeah. Um- So- We discussed this last time. I don't remember if you were in that group, but multi specifically means you can target more than one target.
Yeah, that's what I was gonna do. Cool. Just sharing it with the class. Oh, I'm sorry. I know that. You said we went over it, so I was like, I thought you were talking to me. So yeah, I'm gonna drop down to 20, uh, what is it? 20, 17 points, and I am gonna take aim at the one that has been attacking me. And out of pity for our sad clown, I'm going to shoot the clown one as well.
The clown one's at perfect health, by the way. It is in pristine condition. Actually, I'm gonna change my target to the other clown that's been hurt. I'm just going to attack the hurt ones. Okay. So you got the angry pumpkin and the dizzy pumpkin. Yeah. You got it. All right. So, and we're slowed, so I have to roll two D8s for dexterity and insight.
So this is the first one. Rolled an eight. This is a physical attack? Yes. That... Oh, no, that misses. [01:25:00] Okay. So that means- Doesn't feel so good now, does it? That misses the first one. There's still one other one
A five again. Ha. I'm helping. Ha. Dude, I'm so glad for the teamwork. I aim my pistol at Candle and I just go- I'm moderating. Kettle just goes, Kettle just goes, "Do it." Any time. Now. I can heal the, the slow that I caused. I
can try. You can try. If you have to gamble to heal us, don't even bother. Uh, slow is dex specifically, right? Yes. Slow is dex. Poison is intelligence. But it's the, it's the pumpkin right now, right? I didn't decide who I'm hitting. Hold on. Let me roll for that- Oh, no ... to decide. Mm, man. Um, ooh, Bubbles. Oh. Uh, the angry pumpkin rolls towards you and chomps on your leg.
You take nine damage, 'cause you have been pumpkin puked on. I'm gonna use Absorb MP to get- Huh? ... some MP back. Oh, you said MP. I thought- Absorb P. I thought you... I thought you said absorb and pee. I was like, what is this skill? I was like- All right. [01:26:00] How does- Entrope is just
a weird class, all right? It's, it's unpredictable. How does Absorb MP work? Um, I'm double-checking. So after you suffer damage, you may immediately recover, um, skill level times two mind points. So it's one, so two mind points. Yay. Yes. You just see, like, a very faint sparkle on Bubbles, and you're like, "What?" Um, okay.
That is the angry pumpkin's turn. Who is going next? I'll try. All right. I'll try to stab it. After being so demoralized by these angry pumpkins. I know. I'm slowed and poisoned, though, so I'm having a hard time. Um- I have an eight. Uh, does it still count with the plus one for [01:27:00] the dexterity of like his- Yeah, I don't think anything happens to that.
Okay. So it's nine. That is just enough, so. Which one are you hitting? Um, the one that is, uh, the one that... I would've been- I'm gonna go for whatever one's closest to me if it... And whatever one looks hurt. He did it while being slowed. Um, yeah, angry pumpkin's close to you. All right, angry pumpkin. And it's the most hurt, so.
Six plus 12. All right. Uh- Another 18. My argument is that the slow affected my bullets. The pumpkin has lost its entire face at this point. And now it's just like a big, ominous, like- Ugh ... weirdly black hole, despite the fact that there should be some light going in there, with two glowing like pinpoint eyes.
It's very disturbing. Huh. It looks like it's almost dead. Okay. Um, all right. That is gonna bring us to, let's do clown pumpkin. It's gonna just go for Candle again, 'cause it feels like this seems to be the weakest [01:28:00] target.
Uh, he misses this time. Ooh. Your rubber hose body just moves out of the way. Yeah, he just like, he just like bounces off one of your clown shoes and goes flying in the other direction. Whoo. Uh, all right. Who is gonna go up next? I've got Bubbles or Candle. I'm gonna gamble again. Oh, God. Oh, no. I'll just keep shaking them.
Which- No. I'll just, you know, I'll just put these dice away. I don't, I don't need them. I, I can fix my mistake. See, it just has to be in- Hold on, guys, I can fix this ... instantly kill all battlefield clowns, like. Oh. No! Oh, no. All right, well-
I c- took the worst option. Now everyone's just slow again. We're just still slow. You're just continuing to be slow? Yeah, I just- So does that bump us down one more? No. Or we just stay slow? No. Okay. We're just still slow. You're like, "I can fix this, I can fix this." And you just see the same exact, like, color of magic streak out of Bubbles.
Jerry's just like . [01:29:00] You got this Bubbles, next time. Thank you. You see, like, across the way on the other path there's another, like, lone envoy walking past. He's like, "Oh, hey. Good luck, guys." Keeps walking. If I didn't spend 20 MP on that, I could have lost half of my HP and MP. Oh, jeez. At least it wouldn't have affected all of us.
Uh, that nine beat your defense, Bubbles. Oh, yeah. All right. You are gonna take 11 poison damage as you get bit by the clown one. Or sorry, the dizzy one. And I'm gonna gain two MP. Yay. All right, Candle. All right, buddy. I have two healers now, screw it. I'm just gonna shoot the next one with a, with an ign- or I'm gonna shoot the clown one again with Ignis.
Okay. All right. Slow only affects dexterity, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'm an idiot. Now I'm going to throw these dice because they're stupid. Have you at all figured out how to play your character? No, because there's 80 million things on this page and I'm so confused. Okay. Yeah, you have to roll more than one type of die in [01:30:00] this game, so get all excited.
I just want to share the name of this song. It's literally called Ignis. That's a 13. Is it called Ignis? Yeah, that's it. Oh, there we go. 13. Woo! Okay. Thank God. Ideal, that's 10 plus 15, uh, fire damage. All right. To which one? Uh, clown. 15? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Hit the clown. Or no, 10 plus 15. Okay, yeah. So 25. He is, uh, instantly in crisis as he becomes completely blackened.
Jerry is visibly amazed. And his little clown face, his little clown face contorts into this deep grimace. You, you just watch, like, Candle, like, dust the puke off, right? And just hold their finger out and just a firework goes straight through the, the pumpkin. Yeah, it's all blackened. Not so funny now, is it?
It's completely, like, blackened and burned. His little face looks terrifying now. Mm. Um, all right. We're back to the top of the order. All right. You've got this almost dead pumpkin, this other pumpkin in crisis. I'm gonna, I'm gonna try taking the slow off of you. No problem. I can try again. You can try again.
We... I, I- I say we give the penguin the turn. Maybe try to get the slow off of you specifically. Give him a shot. Give him a shot. Fine. [01:31:00] All right. And Jerry's just- Oh, Bubbles. You're so cool ... glaring at Bubbles. My last 20 MP. Oh no. Oh my God. Come on, Bubbles. All right. Time to gamble. Hot dice. Yes. Woo. All right, so I can't heal you guys.
Oh my God. But, but I'm gonna choose any number of creatures I can see, and they all suffer 30 damage. The damage to type is determined randomly. Ooh, please, we need a six. That is not a six, so it's fire instead of poison. Oh. Could've been poison. If these are resistant to fire, I'm gonna be so pissed. I think that basically kills most of them.
Right. They're- With how many damage we've done ... I think they are resistant to fire, so he would've only take half damage. He's not in crisis. Oh, wait. Are you- No. Oh. That's right, they're jack-o'-lanterns. That makes sense. Yeah. Okay, so we all don't know what's going on. All right? So it's not just me. Um, but they take- 30
okay, so they all take 15. Um, the angry pumpkin is dead. The remaining [01:32:00] two pumpkin... Hold on, I gotta figure out basic math. Please hold. I rolled two nines. I only have one option. Um, 13, 15, 23. Yes, the remaining two pumpkins are firmly in crisis now. Uh, so not a bad turn. I- Um. It's pumpkin time now, right? I did something.
Uh, it is pumpkin time, yes. Not what I meant to do. But- Uh, the dizzy pumpkin is gonna look at you and attempt to pumpkin puke on you- Who? ... 'cause it's had enough of this. Okay. Uh, Bubbles. Oh. Right. I'm gonna learn the spell again. Only the healers didn't waste all their magic. Uh, does an 11 beat your magic defense?
Yeah. Both my defenses are sixes. Oh. Good lord. What's your insight? Uh, D6. Oh, jeez, okay. You are- Uh, all right. You are now, uh, puke done. Same thing, you'll [01:33:00] take five extra poison if you are bit again. Cool. Uh, that is the dizzy pumpkin's turn. Oh, and I still have initiative die? Who is up next? Oh, you didn't take any from that.
That's just- Oh, okay ... you are puked upon. You wanna shoot it- Yeah ... first? You wanna stab, shoot and stab? I'm gonna- You gonna shoot and stab? I'm gonna go for- So he falls, give him the old shoot and stab. Yeah. Or as some call it, the razzle dazzle. I'm gonna go after, um, the... Was it the dizzy pumpkin? Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go for the dizzy pumpkin.
Okay. I'm gonna try and shoot this thing. All right. I have to roll 2 D8s, 'cause Bubbles slowed us down twice. I got a nine. Hey. Uh, yeah, that'll hit. So that's gonna hit for- Excuse me ... 14. Okay. Yeah. Um, his dizzy eyes are now completely, like, empty holes- ... with two little pinpoint lights in them. Uh, and he just looks not very much like a jack-o'-lantern anymore and a lot more like a rotted pumpkin.[01:34:00]
Um, okay. It is going to be... Well, angry pumpkin's gone, so that leaves clown pumpkin. Oh, I got hit two more. Who does clown pumpkin wanna hit? He's going through it right now. Uh, he's gonna go for Bubbles, I guess. Bubbles? I just keep rolling Bubbles. Jerry's vibing. I'm gonna level. Uh, that is gonna hit- May your rolls be ones.
No. May the odds never be in your favor. You are going to take, oof, 15 poison damage. Ooh. Uh, that is the last- So is that already increased? Yeah, that is with the increase. Okay, cool. I am in crisis. Oh, no. No. Sick, nasty dude. Uh, that's the rest of the pumpkins, so... Back to the top of the order, or no? I, n- I, I, uh- That's you guys
yeah, I'll take that one. I'm going to attempt to stab [01:35:00] a pumpkin. Yay. Which one? The one that's closest to me. Okay, probably still the dizzy one. All right, so I've got, uh, the six, two, plus one, so, uh, nine. That'll hit. All right. And six plus 12 again. Uh, okay. So yeah, you stab this pumpkin, and there's just not much left structurally-
holding this pumpkin together. It just becomes a splatter on the sidewalk of- Yeah ... pumpkin pieces and pumpkin guts- ... leaving only the clown pumpkin standing. I, I do wanna point out, Gery has been pulling some serious weight this fight. Uh, I'm, I'm just gonna hit it with my staff. Okay. That's fair. Fair enough.
That is a four plus a seven. An 11. Yep, that'll hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Finally. Bonked. Uh, so seven plus six, so 13 damage. Okay. It's now a little smooshed- ... but it's still [01:36:00] rolling. Oh, come on. Um, all right, back to the top of the order. Who's going first? Gery just showed it. Gery. I, I think you got this, bud.
What are you, what are you good for? Go for it. You can do it. Candle, Candle. Six plus an eight. So that'll hit. 14. So damage is, uh- The high roller ... eight plus six, so 14. Hey. You hit it again and it drops a two. I, I go up behind it. I go... It just goes flying, and you see it, like, disappear into the sky with, like, that little, like, shing.
And it's a home run for Candle. Everybody shouts my name. Woo. He gets all his bleeding out. Woo. Gery is, Gery is silent. Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it. I'm- You're just sitting there with your gun, like... Gery's just like, "Sure." All right. So- Gery's just like- ... uh, you've cleared these pumpkins out of the [01:37:00] way. Uh, and with that, the road is clear for you to head back on your way towards the Aquajo Kingdom, and I think that is a very good opportunity for us to take our break.
Ooh. So we'll see you soon. Uh, don't go anywhere[01:38:00] [01:39:00] [01:40:00] [01:41:00] [01:42:00] [01:43:00] [01:44:00] [01:45:00] [01:46:00] [01:47:00] [01:48:00] [01:49:00] [01:50:00] [01:51:00] [01:52:00] [01:53:00] [01:54:00]
Hey, [01:55:00] and welcome back. Uh, when last we left off, you guys had had a surprise encounter with some past expired jack-o'-lanterns that you promptly took care of. Um, you find yourself back on the road. We are headed to the aquatic kingdom of Aquatio- Yeah ... uh, to seek out the high elder. Um, we don't exactly know who we're looking for, but we'll figure it out when we get there.
Um, you guys just had the run in with the pumpkins, so you're a little spent on MP, bullets, whatever, but you're not that much worse for the wear, I believe. Um, are we going to rest or are we gonna continue on our way? I'm, I'm- Yeah, I think we're gonna continue on ... I was gonna say, I'm good to keep going.
Yeah. Let's keep moving. We can rest when we get to my house. All right. Yeah, so you can continue along. Um, eventually, like I said, the ground is kind of gradually getting sandier. [01:56:00] Um, the trees are getting sparser, and eventually you sort of walk out from the tree line onto a shore. Um, there's a couple small little houses made of, like, the wood nearby.
You know, um, very shack-like. You know, you're on the coast, that beach life. There's- Shack rat ... out in the water you can see the very beginnings of the, uh, Aquatio Kingdom, which would be the Stilts, as, um, Squid called it. On the sort of outskirts of the city above water, there are these, uh, small shacks, kind of like the ones you're seeing on the coast, built up on stilts so that they're out of the water.
Um, you can't see all the details from here, but you do see them sort of spotting the coastal area. You know, the first 10, 20, 30 feet of water, there's just these stilts built up with little houses. Um, you see [01:57:00] humans and finfolk alike kind of frolicking on the boardwalks. You know, children running around, old men fishing together.
Um, one of the old men is just straight up, like, a fish. Like, a large fish. Yeah. He's got a hat on. Um- 'Sup, Deacon? Ah. It says, "Women fish want me." Human men fear me. I am a bounty hunter.
He waves to you. "Oh, hello, Squid." What's up? "Where have you been?" On boy training, dude. "Oh, that's great." Yeah. "Did you get your quest?" Yeah, and we have to come right back here, which is weird. Wow. I haven't been gone a day. Miss you guys so much. "We miss you, too." Yeah. Um, yeah, so are you just heading straight to your house?
Yeah, we're gonna go, we're gonna go back to [01:58:00] my house. I- I'll beach volleyball later, though. Absolutely. He gives you sort of, like, a thumbs up that he can make with his little fin. Yeah. Yeah. You get the vibe. Um, so yeah, Squid, you expertly navigate the Stilts, um- Some of them are of dubious quality in the eyes of perhaps visitors.
You know, you see some, like, what clearly was planks from the sails floating in the water. Um, a few of them are just, you have to take a wide step over the holes in the boardwalks. Um, but you're navigating. Squid is pretty confidently... Are you walking on the, on the stilts? Are you swimming? Um, I'm gonna keep walking with- Mm-hmm
them for now. Okay. I'll, uh, but, uh, yeah, I'm pointing out all the landmarks. Yo, that's where Boney lives, down that way. And that's... Oh, Destiny. No, I've gotta poke somebody. No. And here's my house. And my, my, my, it's got a porch, a front porch. And it's, it's a, it's [01:59:00] not super big, but it's, it's big enough, 'cause I've got, again, six sisters and my mom and dad.
Um, my dad's on the porch. Uh, and he's also mostly fish. Mm-hmm. You don't say. Except he has, uh, he's got hair and, but what he has of hair is also sparse, and he's just kind of whittling on the deck. So it's a fish man with hair. He's a fish man with hair, yes. And he's- And can he whittle with hair on his thumbs?
I like that he has little, like, glasses on. Absolutely. And a- and, like, a, you know, the tank top t-shirt, but no pants. He doesn't need any- Oh, yeah ... 'cause he's a fish. No. Um, the glasses, he's got little glasses on his nose while he whittles, and you can't really tell how something with eyes on the side of its head-
can see through, like, human glasses. Let me see it. But he looks, he looks good, you know. Oh, Squid, welcome home. Hey, Todd. Oh, hey. I didn't realize you'd be back. I'm working on making this for you. It's, uh, not quite done yet. It's, like, vaguely U-shaped. Oh. It looks a little jank, 'cause he's- No, that's super [02:00:00] thoughtful, Dad.
These are my adventuring companions. Oh, look at you. You already made so many friends. You know- That's ... me and your mom are real proud of you. Oh, thanks, guys. Keep it together. I'm so happy to be home. And I give him a big hug. Aw. A big Todd hug. He'll give you- Yeah. He'll give you a big dad hug. Yeah. But- And it's very-
spins ... it's very emotional. For, again, like, what's been maybe, like, 48 hours. And so we, we walk in, and I, um, in the middle is gonna be, like, a big open hole so that we can, like, dive down to the rest of the house. Uh, s- which I immediately dive into, and, like, let my friends know, my, my family know that you guys are here.
And I pop back up and just jump out of the water, graceful and beautiful. Welcome to Cassidy Squid. Uh- Remind me your sisters' age range. Um, they vary. Yeah. Uh, I've got, um... But I think all of them are gonna be younger than [02:01:00] me. Yeah. So I've got, like, I got a little baby sister, and I got, like, a couple years younger sisters.
So- They're everywhere. Mm-hmm. And all of a sudden they're just appearing. I was gonna say, like, you pop back up out of the water, and suddenly there's two, like- Um, like five, six-year-old- ... mermaids following you. Boink, boink. Just, like, doing that little kid stare up at you guys, the... You know, they don't have all their teeth, and they're like...
Except for me, who's basically face to face with them. Yeah. They walk up to, like, you two specifically, and are just... Avery, it's not polite to stare. It's all right. I'm- Hey, I feel one of them crawling on my back. I'm not staring. I'm just looking. Can we leave before the clowns start doing tricks for the kids?
You have to ask me for uppies. You can't just take uppies from the nice penguin. Oh, but they're so tall. Here, let me introduce myself. My name's Ki- I think there's some... Ki- Blah. Ah. Ah. Squid, that guy's throwing up in [02:02:00] our house. Make him stop. Eh. But he's really good at magic. They're really good at magic.
Check this out. They're freaking me out. Oh. From the clouds. Balloon fish. Uh, they take it. Woo. She dives back in with it, and it just, like, floats back up to the surface. And is like, "Hm." She seems distracted now trying to figure out how to get a balloon underwater Successfully. I now have a sketch of clown juice.
I'm just like, "Makes you throw up random objects."
So we can, we can rest here for a bit. I can grab my airship, and we can head out. We could also walk to the, uh, we could walk into the city, or we can take the airship into the city. Whatever you guys feel like doing. Well, this guy really wants to show you his airship. I, I really want to show you my airship.
I've missed Doris as well. Is that your airship's name? Yes. What if we go and meet the... And [02:03:00] excuse me if this is a bit insensitive, the big fish- ... of, of this group. No, there's a very real possibility that they're just a big fish, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the big, the big fish running this whole charade. Mm. Right?
And then, then airship? Or at least we figure out where we're going, 'cause your family might- We can always come back here. The door is welcome. The door is open? The door is open. The welcome is welcome. It's a welcome mat on the floor. Is there, like, a welcome mat on the floor by the hole, like? Yes, by the hole.
You hear, like, a loud balloon pop sound, and then the little one sticks her head back out and is like, "Oh, thank you." I do a dog. A dog? Yeah. Ooh. Does she- Just say thank you ... does she know any doggies? Thank you. Oh, yeah, there's dogs on the beach on that island. There's dogs on the beach. There's weird creatures that get loose on the beach.
Jerry's just silent. He's, he doesn't wanna be here. He's like- Jerry's so- ... "I just wanna be on my journey." Like- This is really cheesing him off ... he, it really- You could- You [02:04:00] could say you're quite discheesed at the matter.
Like cheese. You're a little mouse man.
It's perfect. That was my character. Can we take the airship to the High Elder? We could. It's not that far, though, so we could just keep going down the stilts and we'll get to the city. We can walk. I just wanted to stop in- It's like- ... say hi It's like when there's two stores next to each other and you drive from one parking lot To the next.
Can Sally do that? I mean, I wouldn't say no, though. I do, I do miss my airship. All right. Where is it? Mom!
What? Where's Doris? Hold on a minute. Stop yelling. Is it... So is it your ship or is it your mom's ship? It's mine. She takes it out sometimes, and I didn't see it outside, so I wanted to check where she put it. Um, I imagine there's almost, [02:05:00] like... You know on the playground, those, like, little, like, trumpet things that-
you can talk through? Yeah. It's like, I imagine that to get the sound from the bottom up to the top. Yeah, you just... It's like... Um, and then up swims your mom. Do you wanna describe your mom? My mom is the hottest mermaid you've ever seen. Awesome. My mom is Calypso, and she's just the most beautiful mer-woman ever.
Ageless, timeless, and she just kind of also just emerges, um, from the foam. Yeah, she's got, like, she's got another small child, like, under her arm. Crawling all over her. Um, yeah, just, like, literally just crawling all over her. Oh, you didn't tell me you brought company. I don't think I- And she's giving you that mom look of like, "I wasn't prepared for three people in my house."
Good to meet you. It's so nice to meet you. Yeah. Nice to meet you. She gives you a handshake. I, I go for, like, a handshake, but then, like, awkwardly, like, uh... She'll just give you a, a mom hug.[02:06:00]
Jerry just stands there. He's, he's so done. Just Jerry. He doesn't care about Squidd's hot mom. He just wants to get out of here. I care about Squidd's hot mom. I would like to stay. I just wanna go. The... Uh, this is Jerry. He's the strong, silent type. Oh, nice to meet you, Jerry. They're my adventuring companions.
Wow, you've, you've made so many friends already. Yeah. We're... Second time you've used that word. Not sure you know what it means. You've raised a lovely son. You should've told me you were bringing friends. I would've made dinner. Oh, we, we can't stay. Uh- Well- Although I want to ... are you on your quest? We're on our quest.
That's amazing. Yeah. I'm so proud of you. We all got the same quest, which is, like, apparently, like, super weird. Oh. But, you know, I think it's special. That is. Yeah. That's very special. We're pretty special. Destiny apparently didn't have any more quests to give, so... Big disappointment. Well, what brings you back to the kingdom?
We gotta go to Aquagio, like, talk to the high elder, and get a, um- Oh ... a mighty will- Eggs ... power. Good [02:07:00] will. Goodwill. Moment of goodwill. Moment of goodwill. You're doing great. Thanks. We have to perform a task to get a magic egg. We gotta make an omelet.
Do you know anything about the High Elder? Uh, she does actually. More eggs? She says, "The High El-" You asked my mom about eggs. That's super incest- That's so... She's a fish person with six kids. She's got some eggs going over there someplace. Oh my God. Oh my God. No, 'cause fish come from eggs, dude. You don't need to tell me where fish come from.
I, I don't wanna know where fish come from. Haven't you ever seen Good Mythical More? I thought, I thought that they came out of a, in a magic stork bird. Fish. Stork fish is crazy. Stork fish. It's a giant stork fish. Um... It's a flying fish. It's... So yeah, you bring up the Elder. Yeah. Oh, do you... You're gonna go talk to Helio.
Helio. That's their name. I'm so bad with names. Um, I think you [02:08:00] remember it would be dogged a little bit. Uh, Helio is not really a single person so much as this big coral arrangement that lives under the water. Um, and they're very wise 'cause they're coral. Love that. Um, and have been alive for- Um ... goodness knows how long.
You know, they're sort of one big coral thing. Okay. Is there a way for, like- furrier companions to get down there though, if it's under the water? I know they're worried about it. Or, uh, not worried, uh, concerned. Well, you know, you've got your magic. That's true. You could ask someone to, like, cast a bubble. Oh, you could get your bubble.
That'd be fine. Jerry- Yeah ... Jerry could definitely fit in my bag. He could fit in his bag. Just gotta take some of the seaweed. Take that water. I'll take the bubble. Yeah. I, I think I'd rather be the bubble boy than in your backpack. I don't know there's- I'll be bubble boys with you. Just bubble boys doing what bubble boys do, I guess.
You know it best, buddy. I don't know how much air [02:09:00] is in it- I- ... but it's waterproof. Just putting it out there. All right. Um, yeah, so you would know, um, I don't know how many, like, non-aquatic friends you've really brought around, but you could pay someone in the Upper City, um, to cast a bubble on him, and he'll just have a, like, a little bubble and a sidekick.
Perfect. Like an old-school sci-fi space suit. Just the bubble and the rest is normal. The bubble, yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Oh, well, thanks, Mom, for everything. Oh. She gives you another, like- Oh ... dramatic mom hug. I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you, too. We'll stop back on the way back. Oh, right. Where's Doris?
Hmm? Wh- I'm sorry. Oh. Where, where's the car? The ship. The airship. Oh, she's parked right out back. Oh, of course. Thanks, Mom. I'm gonna mi- I'm gonna miss you so much. Now you take care. Oh, here. Tuna sandwich. Oh. Did you say? Thanks, Mom. [02:10:00] Is that people? Nah. It's the other kind, yeah. Not anymore. Oh. Not anymore is crazy.
All right, let's go. Jerry, I'd like to leave. Oh, trust me,
I do, too. Anyone else? Sandwich? No. Yes. Here you go. Thank you. What is happening? Put some seaweed in it. Perfect. I didn't know they eat people in this kingdom. Let's go. Tuna is not a people. That's like if you eating, like, another smaller mammal. What's the problem? Just 'cause my dad resembles a tuna slightly doesn't mean he's a tuna.
He's- I live here. I think- You know there's pig people and then there's pigs. There's a difference. Total difference. There would be a much better argument for full giving up meat if pigs had faces of men. For the record. Oink.
M- Moo. We should get some maskabobs while we're in the [02:11:00] city. Oh, read my mind. If it makes you feel any better, I'm a vegetarian. This is, this is... Moo. Okay. Yeah, uh, you walk out and around- Moo's also pork ... and yeah, lo and behold there
is Doris- ... just kind of parked out back. She's beautiful. She's kind of... I imagine kind of just like floating in the water, tethered to the side of the house, you know. Perfect. Well, you guys wanna take the airship or you wanna like- What's she look like? She is yellow. Oh. She's sporty yellow, though. She's sporty yellow.
Sporty yellow. She's got flames on the side. Um, and, uh, tinted windows. She's, she's... You can't tell because it's an airship, but it's yellow. An Hellraiser? Yes, of course. The flames make it fly faster. The flames make it go faster. Yes, absolutely. Say like Doris in like cursive font on the side of the wings.
Yeah, yeah. And it's got a hot mer- lady on it, who you assume is Doris, but it's not. It's Destiny. Oh my God. [02:12:00] This queen's got some baggage. Do, do you wanna see Destiny before we go? No. Like- No, I couldn't. I can't do that. It was too much already seeing my family. I, I know I have to go. You know I do. You've been gone for a day.
I don't want any dies here, man. I wanna move on. The whole thing was to go on adventures and to be my own man, merman. I can see that. Should we take her for a spin to go to the capitol? It's... I thought we need to go down. We're... I mean, we can dock her. And maybe she's also a submarine. Do you want to show us your airship?
Yes. All right. We'll take the airship. You get in and it's got one of those like black tree air fresheners. Nice. It's got a leather interior. Ooh. They drink Fuzzy Dice. Fish leather. Fish leather. So, okay, so, so, so skin leather. Okay, got it. It's just got- The gingerbread man- It's flesh ... in the flesh house It's flesh
again. It's flesh. Um- [02:13:00] I mean, leather is also flesh. Again- Exactly ... you know- But not of, not of the people that are our neighbors ... if, if I sat in somebody's leather car and there was like a mom tattoo on some of the leather seats- ... I would, I would lose it.
It's very comfortable. And this is our book, The Fishermanomicon. There's also like a big, um, where the pilot's seat is, there's a dip down and I can have my little water space where I can like, I can aqua... I can h- I can be a merman as I p- As I pilot it, I can full mermaid if I want. Ooh, okay. Um, it's like this.
Are you for, are you full merman? Just, just in... I'm full mermanning to, to this. Ooh, what's your, what's your tail look like? Um, like lionfish, like, uh- Ooh ... with stripes and, and some red and golds and, and dark browns. Um, and some like, you know, the, the flippy flappy tendrils coming off. It's got some flippy floppies going on Um, and, uh, I ma- I'm like, "All [02:14:00] right everybody, you gotta buckle up though.
My insurance... I know, you have to buckle up." And I will go off as soon, as long as everyone, as soon as everyone's settled, we'll, we'll drive off into the air. Is everyone buckled up? And Jerry is sitting there, but he is visibly disgusted by the smell of this black tree air freshener- ... with his mouse senses.
Are you buckled up? This is important. K- Kendall does the thing where they, like, buckle it in and then sit on top of it. Oh, gosh. Jerry does too, simply because the seats aren't built for someone of his size. Do you need a booster? I've got Avery's. No. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, not again. Oh. Hey, hey, hey. He didn't mean it.
He didn't mean it. It only is a gesture of goodwill. You gotta just stop. Just stop making gestures. Yeah, I mean, under a certain height, it's like a safety thing. Yeah. Trust me, I can't. I... I just want you to be safe. I grew up, I grew up in the sky. I think I can handle an airship going about 30 feet. All right.[02:15:00]
Suit yourself. Squibbles buckles in and, like, accidentally pokes a couple holes into the leather and is like, "Sorry, squid." It's all right. I love working on her, it'll be fine.
And we zoom off into the sky. Yeah. Um, so you all- Go, like, 10 feet. Very close. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Um, yeah, it's, like, maybe a, maybe generously, like, a 10-minute drive- Yeah ... because, like, you are going through, into a city. Um- And I'm taking a scenic-er route. I feel I'm trying to show him around too. Yeah, let me, let me play some music.
And, and I'll pull out, like, like a disc or whatever we do for recorded music, if that even exists, right? Series of gels. Um, Kendall just takes out a flute and begins just going... I'm holding it wrong.
I'll get it. Jerry just reaches over- For the whole thing. Jerry just reaches over and slowly grabs the flute. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Uh, you [02:16:00] just take it, slowly roll down the window. Oh, do you guys- What? You guys need music? And I turn on the radio and it's just... It's, like, just squid metal. Metal. Yeah, through, like, the magic radio frequencies.
Yeah, radio, magic radio frequency.
You say scenic route, we see our, our destination- Oh ... and you're just, like, pulling into a circle. And you're just like, "Over here we have-" Yeah. We're stuck in the roundabout. Yeah. Uh, you learn about squid screen metal, which is pretty interesting. Um, you watch, um- Slightly hear metal noises. Yeah. As you get kind of closer to the main city, you see more and more of these almost, like, magical bubble forms that kind of keep whole buildings submerged under water even though they're above water.
And then you still see buildings that are built up on, like, stilts and stuff. So there's this weird mix of just, like, underwater architecture that's been [02:17:00] artificially brought over water, and then opposite kind of, like, these bubbles built around things. So people of all sorts can kind of intermingle.
There's stil- these sort of stilts for a while, and then they fade away, and they get replaced with the tubes. Tubes. Um, kind of like, have you ever seen the salmon tubes? Yes. That's exactly what I was thinking of. Yeah. What I wouldn't give to be a salmon in a tube. Tubes. You see fish and merfolk alike just swimming through tubes, popping out above water or swimming underwater.
And you can see kind of under the water through this crystal clear blue-green, there's these beautiful coral formations, um, rocks. Like, have you ever seen, like, the rocks that are just made of petrified coral? Mm-hmm. Like, whole houses almost in, like, these big old coral forms, um, under the water. Um, and you can see there's just sort of this very harmonious lifestyle that goes on between the two as you see people moving kind of back and forth between them.[02:18:00]
Thought about the coral houses. Um, if the people we're going to see are coral, does that mean they're living inside of people? Oh, boy. Jerry. Jerry. No, the s- the bones of people. The skeletons are- That may be worse. I, I like, I like grab you by like your mouse face and I go, "Look at me. Look at me. We are not in our world anymore."
"All right? I don't, I don't know what happens, all right, in the bird place or the forest place, right? I know where I came from. Houses were made out of brick, right? Or well, steel sometimes, and marble. Uh," Well... "Places were made out of inanimate objects. Here, they're eating people, living in people, driving in people, and talking to people."
"So just do what I do, right? And, and just pretend not to think about it, and think about whether or not you can fit into one of those tubes, and if it will be fun." Jerry, Jerry just reaches, pushes both of Candle's arms where he goes, [02:19:00] "While I agree with you, never do that again." It's you and me against the world, buddy.
Um, you find sort of like the main parking area for this portion of the city. There's a parking area? Yeah. It's mostly, um- It's made of people. It's mostly boats. It's not a fish bone. Yeah. Cars from whi- No. Um, there's... Uh, it's mostly like boat, boats. Um, typically small enough size that they can kinda weave between the stilts and the tubes.
Uh, there's a couple spots for airships, 'cause that's also a preferred way to go. Um, so you can kinda park. It's, you know, you put your little money into the meter. Are there plant or tree people in this world? Um, I would... Maybe, yeah, possibly. Do y'all react the same way when you see like tree houses? Yeah, I feel like- Again
I can't blame them to get there. I am from the Sky Kingdom. That really doesn't excuse your prejudice. We don't have [02:20:00] trees. Look- I guess everything has a face in a way. Especially in this world. Yeah. But as far as I'm aware, there are no houses made out of... Or there are no, like, living steel... Oh my God, there are golems.
Yeah. And there's leather of different kinds and all, and plenty of houses. How, how dare you? 1970. There's probably plenty of leather in houses in your city. Yeah, so the main sort of above water area I imagine is a- There are people ... a market, because that would be, like, the place that you want people that cannot go underwater- Yeah
to have access to, like the shops. Um, so you see all sorts of shops. You know, there's like a sundry shop. Perfect. Um, some clothing stores, some equipment stores. Um, if you're looking for like, specifically like someone to bubble you- Yeah ... there's like a magic shop where they sell basic magic services, kind of like, I think it's literally [02:21:00] like one of those little like tourist shacks, and it says, "Get bubbled here.
Only five zenit." We can get you bubbled. You ready or do you wanna explore? I understand. It's a pretty cool place. Is that a good price to be bubbled? Yeah, that's very fair. It's five zenit. Hey, man, hey, hey. I don't know if that's cheap bubbling or not. It's a sketchy place like in the alley of just like, "You know, I'll get bubbled for three zenit."
Let's just get- No, let's just- I've seen a guy get popped once. We don't wanna do that. We wanna pay five zenit. Let- All right? I can get you bubbled for two zenit. Let's just, let's just, let's just get the bubbling over with. Like a, a large crab that's almost the size of Gery, like crawls out and it's like, "You say bubbling?"
"You wanna get bubbled?" Hey, Kev- My hand is now on my pistol. My hand is now on my revolver. All right. All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he skitters back into the alley. No. See you, Kev. See you. You hear from like faintly. Let's just pay this creature five, five zenit to get bubbled. I was gonna say person.
They, they're people. They, they have wants and [02:22:00] hopes and stuff. And they eat each other. Oh my God. Don't know why you would say creature. You're right. It's actually pretty progressive of you, Gery.
Yeah. Let's get bubbled. Anyway- Let's get bubbled ... uh, yeah, you walk over to the shack. Uh, they're selling, like, very basic magic spells cast, like bubbling or, like, uh, I don't know, speak with fish. Ooh. Speak with... Not speak with animals, speak with fish. Yeah. Commune with fish. Well, I've got feral speech if you ever need to know what a fish is feeling- Um-
or thinking about. You are a part fish. Yeah. Can you just speak to fish? Yeah. I- that's what I just said. I can speak. I have feral speech. A, a night vision kind of spell, 'cause it, it, it, it- Ooh ... do get dark down there. It do One to make your water fizzy, one to get rid of rust. Yeah. Oh, God. De-rusting. Just imagine.
Uh, one to clean your scales. Ooh, no, I'm good. Uh, but yeah. It's $5, five [02:23:00] zenit to be bubbled. I guess we're getting bubbled. Go up and I, like, ring the service bell that I'm assuming is there. I go... Uh, kind of, like, from nowhere this quite large woman, who appears to be half pufferfish floating in the water- ... of the shack, pops up.
Is like, "Ah." Hey. "Bubbles. Bu- No. Bubble? No, no." All right. She holds out- Well, literally, yes. But no. Here. If it, if it'll put you in a better mood, I, I give her 10. "Oh, thank you." And she'll put it away. Uh, she will- You're loaded. I just don't, I don't have anything on me. I have a stick. She takes out this little, like, shimmering mason jar of this little, like, glittery, swirly liquid, and she goes...
And there's just now a magical, literally, like a, a bubble around you. Ooh, ooh, me. Me next. Me next. [02:24:00] This is really weird, guys. Oh, hold on. There's two bubbles for your ears. I just poke it softly. It just kinda, like, ripples. Interesting. Uh.
This is gloriously whimsical. I am loving every second of it. Uh, she gives you an extra one for your nose.
I am ashamed. No. Oh. We could get rid of that if you want. No, I need it to breathe, but I'm still ashamed.
Come on, Jerry, we're having fun. Have fun. All right. Thanks, Doreen. Oh, no problem, squid. Is everybody here? Yeah. It should last you the rest of the day, so just make sure you don't, like, fall asleep underwater or anything, 'cause you, you will die. We'll do our best. Great. If you need anything, you know where to come find me.
Second bubbles half off. Oh, see? She's a fair lady. Yeah. We got two [02:25:00] bubbles. She charged us for full price for both. Which does- But they're both your first bubbles. Come on. They're both- Yeah. Full price for both. Oh, okay. This is your first rodeo. So do you guys wanna take the tubes down? Our first boy, yeah.
We're allowed to take the tubes? I mean, you're bubbled now. You can take the tubes. I mean, I don't know if they're, like, fish size or, like, fish compression. I'm enormous. You're jacked. They are quite, quite girthy. They're like- Ugh ... a good... They're a good- Are we assuming there's water in the tubes? Yes. Yes.
Okay. So I... That's why I was laughing. I was just imagining Jerry, like, tumbling over himself, like, "Woo."
Well, far be it from me to deny whimsy. Let's go. Tubes. All right. You take them to one of the nearest tubes. Um, it's just kinda like almost elevator style. It bings when there's enough room for you to go in without risk of crashing into the person in front of you. I imagine you're gonna [02:26:00] go in first and kinda show them the ropes.
Yeah. So follow me. We're gonna head down. Yeah. We'll, we'll figure it out when we get there. Just go all the way down. Can I stay outside the tube and just follow it, or will it, like, go through, like, different terrain and stuff? Like... It would be significantly slower- Okay ... 'cause it's kind of like... Uh, it's almost like a water slide, you know?
Mm-hmm. It's, like, mildly pressurized so that you go faster. It's gonna be cool. You can, you just will have to catch up with everyone. Okay. It's like they're on a moving staircase and you're running next to them. It's cool. It's gonna be all right, Bubbles. I just swim pretty fast, so- Jerry's just looking at the tube.
You do. You're a great swimmer. Yeah, I think for- Jerry's just looking at the tube ... a skilled swimmer such as yourself, you would be able to catch up by the time, you know, Jerry figures out the tube- ... if you wanna just get a head start. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so you're just gonna- Go explore. J- Jerry's looking at it.
Jerry takes off his cloak, and he folds it up and puts it under his arm, and he's just... Now his naked, na- He's naked and damp ... naked, naked ribs are exposed. I run up behind him and I push him in. Oh, God. Oh, God. Roll a [02:27:00] dexterity and willpower check for me. Dexterity and willpower. We're... Are we still slowed? No, right?
Now we're running. No. You're not impaired. Okay. Okay. Fuck. So that's a... What'd you say, dexterity and willpower? Yes. All right. Oh, my God. Uh, I got a 11. Yeah, so you are literally, like, kind of somersaulting. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Like, you're not like... Your bubble doesn't pop. You're, like, not crashing around too much or anything, but you don't know what direction is up until you kind of get ejected out of the tube.
Um- You see Bubbles kinda, like, following you around through the tube until you, like, outpace Bubbles. And you're very dizzy when you get out, but you're- Dizzy, naked, and wet. I'm a wet mouse. After I push him in, I go, "Wind, 38 degrees north." Under water. "These are ideal sailing conditions." All right. In the words of my ancestors, geronimo.
And I jump in. [02:28:00] All right. Uh, I guess you can also make a dexterity plus willpower. Okay, so that is a D8 plus a D10. All right. So... So an eight. A lot worse. Yeah, you just somehow end up, like, folded, like- ... head over- ... like heels upward, kicking your legs in the wrong direction. I'm- Um... When I come out, I look up at Jerry and I go, "Hey, Jer."
Yeah, you just like- You hit the ground and you bounce like three times, and you're, like, sitting on your butt now. Woo. It was fun. First time in the tubes. You guys did really well. It was awesome. Thank you. You're welcome. You look around. Um, there is, like, again, a whole underwater half to the city down here.
There are little, like, dirt streets dug in. Um, there are fish swimming by. There are merfolk [02:29:00] swimming by. Um, there are these little magical streetlamps that obviously have to be some sort of, you know, just glowing magic. Um- Bio-luminescence ... you see a couple little, uh, like steam-powered, propeller-powered small submarines chugging by, that are kind of loud and obnoxious- Ugh
'cause they're not exactly, like, high-tech at this point. Um, yeah, there's these big buildings made of, again, like, mostly underwater rock, coral, uh, things that would be able to survive being underwater all the time. Um, the buildings, some of them are shops. Again, these are a little more, like, local. They're less touristy.
There's still a few touristy shops, like, "Oh, get your photo taken underwater." "Oh, with... Here's a mermaid tail you could put on. That's probably fine." Um- Ugh. Damn. Can we not go there? There's, like, more of a general [02:30:00] store. There's, you know, a travel center. The things you would expect. I say we just go to the guy's front door and knock.
Yeah, it's probably that f- really fancy building over there. You're pointing to a bank. I mean, it looks good. It says bank. Ugh. All right. Like- There's probably a map around here Like shore bank, like, like bank, like fi-, like- Oh ... like sandbank. Makes- That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I- I... Oh, check this out.
I take out my pack of cards and I open it and I just watch as all the cards- Yeah, they all just- Bang ... float away. Do you still have that one I gave you? Yeah. Oh, no. I- I'll keep it. Yeah. You, you hold it up and, like, you watch the, the, like, paint start to, like, sh- They're really cheap cards. Can we go buy cards?
Yeah, there's- They're selling swimsuits, Jerry, just saying, [02:31:00] if you want some trunks. I don't know why you didn't come down here fully clothed. You're in a bubble. It'll repel the water. I'm not staying. I, I think, yeah, the bubbles are just around our head. Oh, you're staying. Yeah. That's why- Yeah, that's why it's moist.
I, uh, you know. Yeah. They are selling swimsuits. Don't get scalded. That's why I took my cloak off. They've got one of those, like, full body striped suits if you're really, you know- Ooh, no ... so inclined, Kendall. I make damp look good. Yeah, you could go to the travel center if you wanna ask them. You could go to the bank and ask.
Hey, where... Take us to your leader. Where's your coral that's still alive and not buildings? Travel center? Travel center sounds good. It's been a while since I've been in the city. Uh. Just floating backwards, just kicking my feet, just around the party, and just I'm definitely in my element. Um, all right. So you head into the travel center.
It is a small little building with, like, little waterproof brosh- brochures of, like, you know, visit the kelp gardens. Ooh. Uh, you know. [02:32:00] Those look beautiful. Things like that. Um, there's a big map of the city kind of etched into the rock so that it will not be, you know, washed away by the sands of time. Um, and there is, behind the counter, this-
humanoid-sized sea slug. She is pink with these little yellow antennas. Uh, Squid, this is Destiny. In reality, she's born to barely say, um- Do, do you, do you need it, do you want us to, to do this or? Do you know this slug? Uh, she makes, like, little light im- like, pulses on her body that indicate that she is, uh, she's, like, trying to say hello, but in a sort of, like, the same kind of like, hey way.
You, you know you- I go flashing over my skin. Yeah. Hey, what's going on? Do you speak sea slug? Of course. Do you remember the, do you remember the, the, the thing, the [02:33:00] sticker on the side of the car? Oh. Do, do you want- Hey, what's going on? It's Doris.
Wrong. Do you want us to do this or? No. No, we're, we're good. Yeah? Hey, D, how are you? There's like, she flashes something on lines up. Oh, I'm fine. How are you? You look good. What? Yeah. Thanks. You guys are getting shadows at. Yeah. So, uh, what are you doing down here? Well, I'm an, I'm an envoy now. Um, you know. Oh, already?
Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm on my training. Oh. Yeah. Uh- Oh, that's good for you. That's good for you. Um, yeah. Yeah, I know. I feel like I should go see the world. Yeah, I'm happy for you. Thanks. Uh, is there something I can help you with? Yeah, I don't know where I don't know where to go. [02:34:00] Yeah, um- Well- Trying to find- He's, he's fumbling.
He's fumbling so bad. I don't speak slug, but I can tell, I can tell. Yeah. No insight check. It's, uh- No insight check ... it's not good. Uh- Like- Yeah, we're trying to find the, like, hive leader, Coral. Carl? Helio. Helio. No, Helio. Helio. Helio. Helio. We're trying to... We need to ask for, like, a favor of good fortune.
Will, willpower. We need to go to a Goodwill with him. You need to go to a Goodwill with him. Uh, okay. Gerry is gonna step forward and try to just speak and see if- Yeah ... the language connects. She speaks, she speaks Common. She's been doing it. Oh, so they've just been speaking Sea Slug. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Do we keep us out of the conversation?
She just can't s- she does not have the correct anatomy- Gotcha ... to speak it. Gotcha. Okay. She can understand it. What Squid is trying to say, because [02:35:00] clearly he's not getting our, our problem across- ... is that, um- Oh, yeah ... we are trying to find your high elder that may or may not be a hive mind of coral. If you could tell Squid where that is, because I'm sorry I don't speak your language, I hope you understand mine, that would be helpful.
Oh, yeah. Well, Helio, you know, Helio, he's just north of the city limits. You can go talk to them there. He's north, north of the city limits. Okay. Yeah. We just, I mean, is that, like, a problem? I don't- I mean, no. No. No, no. I don't know what you're gonna tell, like, their guards and stuff when you get there, but maybe you could, like- Guards
flash your cool envoy badge. They gave you that, right? Mm-hmm. Do you get that when you're in training, or is that just, like, a when you pass kind of thing?
You can't understand them. You know what she said. Yeah, they're still speaking Tea Swine. Did you guys get any sort of, like, proof that we're on a mission of any kind? Hmm. [02:36:00] 'Cause I don't remember- ... getting any sort of proof that we're on a mission of any kind. Wasn't there those letters? Letters? No. I got it.
And I, I reach in my bag and you watch, like, and dust, dust bubbles and, like... It's, like, a little papier-mâché badge, and it says, it says, "Envoy." And it, and then suddenly it's gone. It just, like, literally, like- ... dissipates apart. That's not good. Uh, you watch, uh, Destiny's little sea slug head look up as it, like, hits the ceiling, and she sighs, and she takes out, like-
a little magic vacuum and, like- How often does this happen? She, like, kicks it, and it, like, does a little wind spell and pulls it down, and she's like, "Ah." I need... This is player David. I need you to describe to me how a slug kicks. She just, you know, takes her little, like, back appendage and, like, a little- Yeah
leg appendage- Okay, okay ... squishes out of it and, like... Ooh. Oh. Okay, so another appendage- ... emerges. Well, it's more like, you [02:37:00] know, they have, like, the very, like, wiggly body forms. It's not like a whole woman's leg comes out. It's like- Do you know- I like the idea of Squid before this be like, "Yeah, she's a total hottie, the way she goes..."
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Yeah, she's curvaceous. She's nothing but curve. She has no endoskeleton. Not a single straight line on her. If you know what I mean. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. And by that I mean she has no bones. What's her house made out of? Bones.
Oh, so she could have her house made of bones. You guys, stop. I'm crying. I think I might throw up.
I drank too much sugar [02:38:00] to be laughing this hard. So why are there so many guards? Why can't we just talk to him? I mean- Has something happened? I was gone for a whole 48 hours, so you know, anything can happen- ... in that span of time. They're the, they're the high elder, and they're, you know, older than all of us, very important- Mm-hmm
and very large. Uh-huh. So they need someone to watch them. You know- That's true ... coral can't... Well, most coral can't, like, shoot a gun or- ... throw a spear. Very true. Okay. What was the answer to the god question? I understand none of that. I saw pink, green, blue, blue, green, pink, pink, blue. That was a lot. And, and colors I frankly cannot comprehend.
Yes. Oh, no. That's mostly... Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. Uh, she's saying that, uh, he's under guard 'cause he can't protect himself, and that makes sense. Um, but we... I mean, we don't mean any harm. We could just go over there and see what's going on. If the coral can't protect itself through movement, how does the [02:39:00] coral speak for you?
Whoa, whoa. I'm sorry, how does the coral speak? I can understand you. Okay. I get that. That's, like, biolumines- That makes sense. That's, like, an understandable... Coral is inanimate. It creaks and groans. Made of a bunch of tiny little animals. Squid, your friends are, like, really uneducated. I'm so sor- Like, please, don't...
This is their first time under the su- under the water. Maybe it's like when you cut grass. Oh, my gosh, you can't say that. All right, look. You can, like, you see, like, the negative symbol, uh, above Destiny's head. Destiny did not like that. Okay. But just, like-
Destiny. Okay. Just... Okay, so we just talk to guards, and then how... What could coral possibly want? It is coral. It lives a very simple existence. [02:40:00] Well, it can't get anything easily 'cause it's, you know, as you were so ha- fast to point out, inanimate. Uh, can't move. You- You know? And what houses are made of, apparently.
Sometimes. Or boats. After they die. Okay. All right. Mm-hmm. D, it's been really good to see you. Yeah. She's clearly still, like... She doesn't have a face, but you can feel she's judging your friends so hard. How...
Never mind. Never mind. I don't wanna know. I'm gonna make you proud. Whoa, whoa. I'm sorry, what? Uh, we're gonna- No, we can understand that that was a sea slug. That was a sea slug. We're gonna leave now. Uh, it was good to see you. Okay, uh, bye. Good luck. Bye. I hope your friends, uh, learn a lot while they're down here.
They will. They will. What has made you pr- What? Is Destiny like a parent figure to you? What, what is the weird- No. She dumped me, okay? She said I didn't get [02:41:00] out enough. It's fine. It's fine. We're moving forward. Well, I thought you said it was mutual. We're going north. Which is north. We're going north. Uh- Here, I have a comet.
Per- Oh, no. You just catch it. He caught it. Why, why is your craft so weak on everything? Like a- Your waifish fingers- ... his rubber hose bones don't work underwater. Yeah, I was gonna say, my, my comedic rubber hose bones that, that squash and stretch myself through various- ... jokes and japes, uh, they, they don't seem to be able to grasp solid objects too well.
All right. Um- Cheerio. Yeah, so you start, uh, walking up north. Um- Do you wanna tell us about, like, the story of you and Destiny? You, you seem pretty cut up about it. No, no, I don't, I don't think we need to. You don't want to? I don't think we need to. Geri, Geri, Geri, Geri, Geri. You're an amazing shot, terrible friend.[02:42:00]
Yay. Never said we were friends. Yeah, everyone keeps using that word- And I just, I wanna- ... and like, I don't even know what it means. Look, look, I wanna be very supportive, 'cause you seem to be very supportive, so I wanna meet you in the middle. So you wanna talk about it or...? I mean, the worst thing is she's right.
Oh. Uh, okay. Uh, right about? I never really left the stilts. I never really did... I had an airship outside my house, and I never even went flying. Oh, Geri, you're a bad friend. You didn't want to know how Squid fell. Oh. So I figured, if I go out, do the envoy training, I get out in the world, I can seek my fortune, get, like, I can, I can do more with myself and prove I'm not just some barnacle loser.
Ugh, sorry. What were you doing before? So much surfing. Al- also-[02:43:00]
Thanks, hail bro. I can crush an apple with my legs, with their legs. Just based on the conversation with Esme, I like how, like, surfing in this culture is the equivalent of, like, dating somebody who just plays Fortnite all day.
I, you know... Okay, cool. You do know after this we're not gonna be back for, like, months and years at a time. Which is... It's fine. It's fine. I'll just... That's even more of an opportunity to show you how much I've grown. Why don't you just think about what you wanna say before we go. All right? On the way. To Destiny?
Yeah. Don't you wanna give her... If you don't give her a last word, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your... How long do mermen live? Forever. Forever. Forever. I'm gonna assume it's like that one fish at the bottom of the ocean that looks like mud. You've met my grandfather? I'm... Okay. The frog. I'm just gonna assume you live forever.
You gotta think of what you're gonna say. Why don't we do that on the way there? All, [02:44:00] all right. All right. All right. Also, there's not really much money in this. We're just delivering the mail. Just, Geri, just please. He started sobbing. I don't know how you cry underwater. What? I don't know. In pearls.
Beautiful pearls. Oh, that's where the fortune comes from. Let's just... This should be the coral. Let's just please.
Thanks, bubbles. I'm soft and fluffy. You're okay. You're soft and fluffy even underwater. It's amazing. Yeah. You are, um, pretty water-resistant, I would imagine. You've got that penguin skin, so I'll, like- It's good ... these two are just, like, sopping wet. You two are vibing. Yeah. Well, we're underwater, so we're not wet yet.
Yeah, no. You are, you are underwater. Um- You'll be wet soon. Exactly. Point of order on that, like, it's not super easy to, like, walk. Oh, no. You are underwater, so- I'm like a rat. I'm like... Yeah, you're, [02:45:00] like, funky paddling as best as you can. Um- I'm, like, bouncing. Like-
Ready to go? Run away I give you a couple more pats and then let's go, and I just start swimming fast. Yeah.
So we're heading north. Are you a faster swimmer or like- I'm a really fast swimmer. I think I like start racing you. Like, I imagine- Yeah. ... you have to keep like doubling back to catch up with them. Um, as you're kind of like, this is kind of keeping you all relatively distracted as like you move through the city, um, the buildings start to become like a little sparser.
You know, you've got that quite like big city center area that's very dense. There's these almost like skyscrapers that go up out of the water like you were seeing. Um, they have multiple things inside of them, important fish business. Um, it's where all the fish office workers [02:46:00] go. Hm. You see like a, a s- So there's probably several schools.
Yeah, you see like, you know, a, a guppy with like a briefcase going by. Fish business. Fish business. Um. Oh, man. And then you kinda get into like more just houses, small little like stone houses. There's a little like anemone condominium complex you walk by. Um, as you're firmly getting into like the Equatio Kingdom metropolitan area, um, this walk probably takes a few hours.
Um, one because yeah. One because it's quite a large city, and one because you guys don't exactly have your sea legs. But eventually, um, you see there's kind of like a big dip into the next sort of level [02:47:00] of ocean. Um, and it gets a little dimmer, a little darker, but there's still these lighted paths that kind of make you feel you're probably going in the right direction.
Um, eventually you notice that most of the housing gets very like- few and far between. These are like the nice mansions for the people- Mm ... that can afford to, like, live near the city but don't need to have a lot of people around them. Um, and then you see this big, like, stone wall. And you don't see a lot of stone down here, so this was, like, brought in and, like, built.
And you- A building not made of people. Um, and it's more like this- Don't, don't count it out just yet. It's almost like this large, like, fortress- Mm ... um, that is clearly protecting something. So you are inclined to believe you're headed in the right direction. Um, there are, like, you see a [02:48:00] glint of metal, and there are several little fish wearing grill guard helmets.
Um, they're all about the size of Jerry, patrolling, swimming around. Perfect. All right. I say we just knock on the front door? Yeah, make our presence known. Uh, we're not trying to sneak in or anything. We're trying to just... We're, we're on business. Yeah. This is business. Is there, like, a front door or...? Yeah.
There's, like, a big, like, front entrance area where there are, uh, a couple of guards just posted, like, not doing the little swimming rounds. Um- I- I'm just imagining this big door with the smallest door knocker. Um, you see a little octopus in a helmet and, like, you know, your average Joe Fish- Like- ... also in a helmet.
They've got little spears. I give the standard fish greeting. Ahoy. That can't be good. You get an, "Ahoy," back. Uh, "Halt, [02:49:00] travelers." And the octopus holds out several tentacles. "You can't come any further." What's going on? "Well, unless you have an appointment, you can't come into Helio's domain." Oh. We were sent here by Destiny.
Oh. Oh, no. Not Destiny up the road. Not me. We were sent by Destiny, the actual, like, supreme being goddess. And fate. Yeah. It was in a bowl. We're, we're gonna get killed. Did Destiny, like, give you, like, a permission slip or anything? No. No, we kind of just went straight here. He's in a vacuum right now. Here's the problem.
We did get a permission slip- ... but we got a surface dweller permission slip, and came down here. Water, paper. Ooh, okay. I think I want to try initiating the other kind of conflict that is, like- Ooh ... a- ... a- Fish on man conflict.[02:50:00]
All right. The fish are invading the land. It's a whole chapter in the, in the, in the book. What happens when inter kingdom war breaks out? So we are going to start quickly so that we can kind of showcase this, a non-combat conflict. Ooh. So we need to do an initiative roll in the same way that we would. Who is gonna be the leader?
Kind of seems like naturally that might be Candle, but- I al- I s- I, I feel like, yeah- You wanna just- ... I'll, I'll... Okay Goink. I like this. I will, I will lead. Wait, what are these used for again? The fate tokens. Um. Yeah, that's a good idea. I have to find Alyssa again. I have, I've been looking at this very hungrily.
It looks so delicious. I could use this. I could use one of these to disappear right now and not show up till the next episode. This is like a, this is a Smartie. That's literally, it's called see you later. It's, you use a point- I thought you were just being sassy ... No, no, no, no. It, I literally have a skill that's see you later.
You disappear from the scene, and when you reappear in the scene with another character player, you have to [02:51:00] describe how you miraculously showed up here. You know what? Use it, walk out of the studio right now. Uh, so you can use them- See you guys next week ... to alter the story, meaning you can add a new element or alter an existing one.
You can invoke a bond, which none of you have any friends right now, so that doesn't matter. Friends with each other. Especially Jared. You can invoke a trait to re-roll a dice during a check, or you can use a skill if they use Fabula points. Gotcha. Um, so kind of the big main one- Which we might just leave
Yeah, the big two that are relevant is you can add or al- alter a story detail or you can re-roll it. So we could add that we totally talked to them and we're like, "Can we get proof that we're on this mission?" I don't know if you can do that. I don't know if that would've happened anyway. Can I get little badges?
I think part of proving yourself is, you know- Ooh- ... navigating these situations ... we have to prove it. I like it. Not causing inter-kingdom war. But, you know, it could be like you're in the middle of convincing them, and you, they're like, "This one specific object would really, like-" Oh, okay ... And Kendall's like, [02:52:00] "Oh, well, I happen to have one of those in my big bag."
You know? Oh. Something like that. My hammer space. All right. So who's- All right, yeah ... needing initiative? So I need all of our squid supporters to roll their initiative. That is insight plus dex. Come on, supporters. Okay, insight plus- Do I also roll or no? ... dex. Um, after they do. Okay.
I got a one. Wait. No, I got an 11, sorry. I got a nine. I was gonna say, how did you get a one? Sorry. I, I- You rolled two dice and saw the other die ... I saw the, I saw the double zero and I was like, "Oh, that's supposed to be a one." Uh, five. All right, so you get one point from- Woo ... uh, Jerry. Mm-hmm. Thanks, Jerry. So you're gonna roll and add plus one.
All right. Nine, plus one. All right. Um- It is. All right, it's done. Initiative. Good job. I- look. I'm a- I'm a humanities major. We don't, we don't do math a lot, all right? I'm, I'm less saying it, I'm making sure. You're doing great. I have math I want to do after the [02:53:00] stream. All right, um, so your initiative was nine?
Yes. Oh, these guys have horrible initiative. Okay, great. Nine plus one, so- Yep ... 10. So, um, during a conflict that is non-fight-y- Battle of the mind ... we build a clock. I don't know if that's always public information, but- Ooh ... if you can't see on camera, I've drawn a bad circle with four badly delineated sections.
Looks like a bullseye. This is called a clock. Ooh. Which Jerry needs. Um, those can happen out of conflict too, but it's kind of like a story element we're waiting to happen. In this case, this clock is convincing these guards to go in. Okay. Um, so on your turn, again, you could attack if you really wanted to.
No, I don't. I don't think that's what we wanna do. I don't. Slayer. I went to school with his son. What kind? His cephalopod son. The octopus. No, I mean what kind of school? Um- Did you hang out in a group of dudes, or where... or did you go to an educational institution instead? Yes. [02:54:00] All right. So some things that you can do.
Um, you can, uh, inf- f- f- foke a status effect on an opponent if you're feeling mean. Ooh, nope. Nope. Um, there's one called- Poison. There's one called objective, which is kind of what we're working on. Yeah. Sounds like it. Um, you work towards accomplishing an objective, which takes a attribute check or an opposed check, um, based on what you're doing.
Okay. Um, you can study them, which would be some sort of check, typically insight plus insight- Okay ... but maybe something else. Um, you can use any skills that you have. Okay. But the big one in this is gonna be objective versus attack. Okay. Um, so you guys are first in the initiative order against these- These two guards.
Okay. What are we doing, just trying to convince them? Yeah. We're trying to convince them. Uh, this game uses combat mechanics for heated arguments, which- Oh, my ... I love. That's one of my favorite RPG things, and I'm very excited for this. So who is going first? Um, I can [02:55:00] start by trying to state our case of, like, explaining what's going on.
Yeah. Sure. But I don't have the best words, so I feel like I'm gonna need backup. I mean, you know, you can always try to, like, flex on them or something. Always. You guys wanna see a gun show? Uh... These guns don't need a license. Um, so do I roll first, or do I... What am I gonna do? I mean, tell me what you're gonna do- All right
and then I'll tell you what to roll. So I'm gonna be like- Or does he have a name tag? A guard name tag? Mm, I'll say free action. You can roll an insight plus insight to see if he has a name tag. Okay. A six. Um... He does, but you're not very good at pronouncing cephalopod names. Oh. Oh, no. And you realize pretty quickly that you're gonna, you're gonna whiff this if you try to say it out loud.
Yeah, I'm not gonna. There's a lot of, like, lls in there- ... that you just, like, don't think you have the throat sound down for. [02:56:00] All right. Um, so I know this is a little out of the ordinary, but we're just here to talk to Helio. We need to get a, oh, no, a goodwill. We need to do... We're, we're here to do him a favor.
You want us to do favors for Helio, right? All right. You can- You're drowning here, bud. You can roll a willpower plus- So horn ... insight. They're all the same. No more fish pun. Boy, I always roll good. The one joke from Jerry. Woo-hoo, seven plus six, baby. All right. Um, yeah, that is enough to get you- I'm so convincing
um- Oh, a moment of goodwill. Yeah. That sounds like a pretty big deal. It is. Are you on some kind of, like, big deal mission? Yeah. Ooh. We're doing... We're... This is envoy stuff. I'm in envoy training. He turns to, like, the, like- Red snapper, next thing you say. It's, it's big deal stuff. Yeah. I feel like we're being mocked.
Uh, okay, so [02:57:00] I'll count that as a success. Yes. Okay. Uh, all right. Uh, the octopus is going to... Or, sorry, I'll do the red snapper. He's gonna take a turn. Um, and he's going to say, "That does sound like pretty big deal stuff," but still, like, you know, proper documentation and all that kind of thing. Um, he's gonna make a check to see if he can inflict a status effect on you.
Oh, my God. See how that goes. Mm, what else is he supposed to do? Deep insecurities. You're right, I'm a worm.
All right. Um- Aren't you that guy Destiny broke up with? Ah.
She was the nudibranch for me. Uh, let's see. These are all D8s again.
Oh, [02:58:00] no. He fails anyway. Um, he sounds like a real nerd. He's like, "Uh, don't you need your proper documentation?" And you are not, uh, scared off by this guy at all. No. Uh, that is his turn. Who would like to go next? Hmm. I will pull out some seaweed from my bag- ... and just be like, "You want some snacks?" Yeah. Um, ooh, roll me a double willpower.
This is pure charisma. How much can you force these guys to eat seaweed?
I got a 14. Damn. Now we rolled good. We're just talking as a m- we're just talking as a bunch. The fish who looked a little hesitant at first, uh, pauses. Uh, they both give, share a meaningful look before he reaches a fin forward and, like, "Home." Um, all right. Just keep pulling a bunch out of my bag and just, like, "Here you go."
Just let it float in front of him. Is it not enough to get us moved forward on [02:59:00] the clock? Uh, yeah, you know what? The octopus is gonna look at you and say, "Oh, yeah, I know you. You're... You and Destiny used to hang out all the time." Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah. "No, I saw she's been hanging out with someone else a lot lately."
What? We'll move together. We'll move together. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe that was the... No, that might've been the... I don't know." What? What? He's like, "What was his name?" And they start talking about it. Um, he rolled really bad, so he doesn't, he's not satisfied. I was gonna be, like, shaken and rage. I mean, she's free to do whatever she wants.
They're like, "Oh, yeah, Johnny." And you're like, "Johnny's a nerd." Johnny? Johnny's my best friend. You guys are dweebs. Uh, that's his turn. Okay. Dweebs.
Uh, Jerry Candle? I, I, I, I look at the, the fish that mentioned documentation, and I look at him and I go, I go, "Look, on the surface... Look, [03:00:00] paper's the best surface we have to write on. That's just a fact. And the fact that we lost ours coming down to your world, and you expect us to bring you documentation from your place, feels pretty species that you won't meet us on our level, all right?"
Whew. Whew. Uh, okay. Go ahead and roll a might plus willpower- Oh, my God ... 'cause that feels very intimidating. Oh, my God. All right. So my worst stat and my best stat. There we go. That's a 14. Oh, yeah. Oh. Hey, listen, buddy. Oh, wait, nope. This is my D100. That's a five. Whoa. Oh. Uh, okay He's like- We've got paper down here too, man.
Yeah. He's like, "Well, listen, buddy." Jerry's just like- "You knew you were coming down here. You didn't take time to learn the customs, learn how water works before you brought down your documentation? Sounds like you were the one that came ill-prepared." It's only you're the one that came ill-prepared. Sounds so
silly. What are you doing, man? Yeah. You heard [03:01:00] this dork? I told him I have a waterproof bag- She's hanging her chin. And he didn't listen. Jerry, can't believe. Every time . You got it, Jerry. I believe in you. I'm gonna ... Jerry's gonna step forward and he's gonna be like, "We have come a long way to your kingdom, your wonderful place that you live-
to see the big coral. That is our goal here, and we wish to do something kind for him as to keep peace between our kingdoms. That is the goal here. Would you be willing to potentially be in the storybooks written about us in the future when we say that we kept peace between the kingdoms?" All right, go ahead and roll, um, I'll say double will power for that.
Oh, God, that's my worst stat. Ugh. It's my worst stat. I'm sorry, it's like the charisma stat. You've got this. Watch, watch me get two sixes. Just, just to spite me. Please. Six. Aim for the six. Oh, no. Uh- Peace between the kingdoms, that's what we're doing? Maybe. We're gonna find out. Thought we were just giving names.
Don't say that. Yeah, it's pretty good. [03:02:00] Who's this Johnny dork? No. Oh. Johnny. No. He was my best friend. Listen, we would love to help you, we just ... You gotta give us something here. Um, we're back to the top of the order. Who would like to go next? Do you have anything? Do you want? We never, we're never gonna get- Oh, you want, you want to go next.
We're never gonna get in this castle. Yes. Do you have anything specific? She's trying to get to you, Manny. She's trying to get to you. So- So when did you see her with Johnny? Shh, shh. Let the bag talk. No, no. Let the bag talk. We don't have any papers, but, like, we're definitely here on our word. What could convince you to let us in?
Like, this is really important to us, really important to Helio, to a lot of people You can go ahead, um, and roll insight plus willpower Insight plus willpower. That should be a six and, and eight, I think. Hold on, let me check. I don't know how to play this game. A six and a 10. Nice[03:03:00]
Okay, that's an 11. Ooh, cool. All right. So, like, the octopus is like, "Listen, I just need something to work with here so that I know you're not, like, weird coral-nappers or coral-tippers or, you know, normal-" Coral-tippers? Oh, yeah. You know, like, the teens, they love just like- What? I mean, my s- The teens come by and tip your elder.
We're going coral dipping. Well, not the elder, but, like, the other corals. Please don't make that the- Find something. Uh. Oh, documentation, proof of your envoy status or- Whoa ... you know. Could we describe the elders we met with? Maybe they know the other el- like, we, we met with people. They, there was the guy with the hands.
I didn't touch him, but he looked... He was the guy with the hands. I could just, uh, run. I don't mind. Uh, it's the octopus's turn. Um, he's just gonna say, like, "Yeah, you know, usually when we talk to envoys, they're a little more, uh, put together," I guess, for lack of a better word.[03:04:00]
This is the first time this has happened. I don't know anyone underwater. That we know of. I guess that's a five. Yeah. Um, okay. That's actually gonna barely hit, so I'm gonna say one person will be affected by a status effect to keep it nice and fair. Oh, no. Who do I want to affect? It's... Who, who- Aaron, slow.
Angel, apparently, 'cause that's what I rolled. Oh, no. Um. It's great. Everything's great. You- Everything is fine. Please just not- You are shaken. God, darn it. Your willpower die reduces by one.
Shaken to your core, being like, "I'm put together." Well, if it's a D6, that's the lowest it can go, so. Excuse me. Could I use my- Um ... fabulous point- It's a D8. Oh ... to say that my sketchbook is, like, waterproof? Yeah, why not? All right. Um. I'm gonna throw that in there, and I'm just gonna, like... I liked your idea of, like, showing proof, so I'm gonna just hand you my sketchbook and, like, point.[03:05:00]
Would you like to take your turn? Oh, yeah. And, like, talk up the sketchbook. I'd love, I'd love to take my turn, 'cause didn't you draw, like, what we s- were, like, what we saw? Like, I've been sketching this whole time, so, like, I would've sketched, like, the people that we've met that gave us the mission and stuff like that.
The cool bowl. Yeah. There's that bowl. I would've at least, like, a, a far shot, so the bowl and the guy- Perfect ... doing the things. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Pumpkins. Yeah. Later on, there's a whole bestiary. Yeah. All right. I'm gonna do that. I'm going to show the sketchbook that's- Yeah, I guess you're supposed to touch the torch
with a nine. Yeah, I'll say that works- ... 'cause you have the item to help you to lower the DL. Okay. I'm gonna show... See, look, there was this possum dude, and then there was a bowl. And there was the lady- Oh ... and she poured the water in the bowl, and then sh- we all looked into it. But, well, actually, well, like, mostly you looked into it.
Hey, we've seen that lady. Yeah. And she comes and visits Helio sometimes. She's like- Another important elder, I think. Yeah, we totally got no names of anyone, but she was there. That's okay. I don't think we know her name either. Uh- Yeah, destiny and fate ... [03:06:00] well, she's the one that gave you your quest. Oh, the possum dude did.
Possum dude. And- You know- And her, and she was there too. She was there pouring the water. The whole band kind of situation. Oh, so the water, like the water gave you your quest that she poured. That seems pretty- She, she poured the water ... that seems pretty official. It was pretty official. I told you, Destiny.
That's her name. All right. And they look and they nod, and they're like, "Well, listen. No funny business." No qual-tipping. We swear. First sign of trouble, we're sending in the boys. Absolutely. The boys. No trouble, no trouble. When school's coming to town. The boys. All right. You could say school's out, in a way.
Uh, so you exit your conflict having successfully convinced them. The school's out of town. That's your little non-combatant conflict tutorial. I loved it. Yes. Um-
Nice sketchbook ... with that, these big stone doors- You do a great job. They are very nice. Uh, it's pushed open with this, like, sort of creaking sound. Uh, sand kind of flies up, and as it dissipates, you see inside [03:07:00] this entire fortress, just like probably 50 feet long, you know, in this circular shape. It's just filled with this huge coral colony that is just like polyps the size of your heads.
Um- Whoa. And it's glowing all of these beautiful colors. It's all sorts of different corals, so you've got like the little, like, noodley ones, and the little, like, big circle ones, and like the brain ones. Oh, the brain ones. Um- Yeah. I'd like three more coral descriptions, please. Oh, I'm trying to think of more.
There's the leather ones. Oh. I used to have a, I used to have a, a saltwater fish tank. Um- Oh, God. I'm out. I'm out of coral. Bubbles? I think there's ones that are like bubbly. Ooh. Um, anyway. Frog spawn. There you go. Okay. Yeah. There you go. Uh, and as you guys are taking in the sight of this very strange and beautiful elder, um, I think that is where we're gonna leave it for tonight.
Ooh. That was [03:08:00] intense. Those octopuses were really well-armed. What's the point of- I just realized something. Uh-huh? What's the point of a wall underwater? I mean, we, we could, we- There's like a grate on the top. There's a grate on the top. Yeah. Um, thank you so much for joining us. Uh, we hope you enjoyed, uh, getting your toes wet with Fabula Ultima.
Um, if you like the stream and you wanna see more of us messing around in this super fun new game, you can follow us here on YouTube. Uh, we are Tabletop Gaming CT. We're on most social media with that name. Um, we're live every Monday for the next few weeks. Uh, and we hope we'll see you around for the next one.
Thank you very much, and have a great night. [03:09:00] [03:10:00] Bye.