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The Pediatric Speech Sister Show Podcast empowers speech-language pathologists and educators to build the foundation for culturally responsive practice. Join host, Melanie, a certified speech-language pathologist, certified mindset and abundance coach, and certified soul purpose coach, as she explores critical conversations around human rights, social justice, ethics, critical race theory, intercultural communication, and the nuances of linguistic diversity.
This show is your one-stop shop for expanding your cultural responsiveness. Expect a mix of solo deep dives and replays of live interviews with amazing guests. Want to see the full interviews? Head over to The Pediatric Speech Sister Network on Youtube!
Whether you're a seasoned professional or just starting out, this show is for you. Let's work together to create a more inclusive and equitable world for all children.
Hey, y'all. Melanie here. So before we get into today's episode, I should lead with the precursor that this was recorded live on the pediatric speech sister show network last year during AAPI month. So if you haven't checked out that live episode, I definitely welcome you to check out that episode on YouTube. You'll also see some back and forth with audience members.
Melanie (host):Now I didn't even tell you all who the guest was. I'm so excited to be introducing Nikki Hanyan.
Melanie (Host):I I already do give a bit
Melanie (host):of an introduction when we get into the episode, but the reason why I brought her on was to talk about being a transracial adoptee. And specifically an Asian transracial adoptee. And I reached out to her after last year and the Lunar New Year shootings happened and I wanted to just gain her perspective on overall how we as speech pathologists and in this healthcare industry and in education can be better for our transracial adoptee. So I hope that you gain something new from this episode. I hope that you all enjoy the conversation.
Melanie (host):And without further ado, let's get into it. Welcome back to the pediatric speech sister show podcast. This is the place where we build the foundation for culturally responsive practice, empowering speech language pathologists and educators to serve multicultural populations with confidence. I'm your host, Melanie Evans. I am a certified speech language pathologist and certified sole purpose coach and abundance mindset coach.
Melanie (host):In each episode, we'll explore critical conversations around human rights, social justice, ethics, and so much more. We'll unpack the nuances of linguistic diversity, delve into critical race theory, and equip you with the tools to navigate intercultural communication with ease. This show is a nice mix of solo episodes where I dive deep into specific topics and replace of our live interviews where we get real with amazing guests. If you want to see the full interviews, head over to the pediatric speech sister show network on YouTube. I'll put the link in the show notes.
Melanie (host):Whether you're a seasoned speech English pathologist, a passionate educator, or simply someone who wants to make a difference, this show is for you. Let's empower ourselves and each other to create a more inclusive and equitable world for our children and the people who we work with. Stay tuned.
Melanie (Host):She is from teach speech 365. I'm so excited to have her here. She is an excellent blogger, an excellent PPT store creator. I've used some of her materials myself when I was in the schools. The reason why I brought you on here today, Nikki, is because I reached out to you in February after the tragedies after Lunar New Year.
Melanie (Host):And I think overall there's just needs to be a bit more cultural awareness and cultural responsiveness in our field, particularly for the Asian American communities. So I would really like to hear your on that. My dog also wants to say hi, so just get so bear with us here. But, Nikki, I'll go ahead and let you introduce yourself.
Nikki (Guest):K. Hi. I'm so happy to be here today. So I live in Virginia right now with my husband and my two kids. We've lived here for over 10 years now.
Nikki (Guest):But I grew up in central New York. I am Korean and I am a transracial adoptee. I've always wanted to work with kids. I grew up babysitting. I think initially I wanted to be a teacher and then I wanted to go to school to be a pharmacist and didn't get into pharmacy school and decided to change course.
Nikki (Guest):In college, I was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder. And so I think that planning got me interested in the field. And then, since then it's, I, I kind of haven't really looked back.
Melanie (Host):Well, I am so happy that you are here. You'll have to excuse me. I'm gonna be going back and forth with you. Because again, like I said, my puppy's here, but I'm so happy that you made it to the field. I'm really interested about the auditory processing disorder.
Melanie (Host):How did that affect you in graduate school?
Nikki (Guest):So, I mean, I managed to get through high school without, I mean, I had some issues in high school, but I don't think it was ever enough where, like, I went to get tested. I didn't get tested until college. But I know I went to a very small, I grew up in a very small, very rural town. So, classes were a lot smaller. And when I went to college, you're in lecture halls with like tons and tons of people And there's all this extraneous noise because there's all these people.
Nikki (Guest):And so I started to really struggle with that. And I also had a lot of anxiety around testing. And so when I got the diagnosis, the great thing about that was that I was able to get accommodations for testing so I could test in a, like a smaller, quieter location and I didn't have to be around, like in the big lecture halls taking a test. So that, that really helped me. So it was more of the accommodations that helped.
Nikki (Guest):And then I was pretty much they didn't recommend therapy for me because I was pretty much doing all the compensatory things that you would teach someone to do. I do find that if there is a lot of background noise, that's when I struggle the most, especially if I'm like trying to listen to a conversation, just because there's just so much competing noise, but I never did therapy with it or anything like that. So it was a leader again, a leader in life, I guess, diagnosis.
Melanie (Host):That's really interesting to know. I had, I did end up having speech therapy myself. I had trouble with the r sound. I always say people thought I was from Boston. So daughter.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. I know. Right? So that's that's really interesting. So, Nikki, can you tell us a little bit about your why why you joined the profession?
Nikki (Guest):So again, I w after being diagnosed, I had a friend who also had switched from occupational therapy to speech. And so she kind of like, alerted me to the the field. I guess I didn't wasn't really aware of the field before that. So I got interested in it. I took some, you know, introductory classes and liked it.
Nikki (Guest):And I liked the idea that we could work in school because I had always seen myself as a teacher. That was kind of the way I was gonna go. So, you know, I really have always liked working with kids. I do actually enjoy the older kids more than I thought I would. I'm working with high school kids this year and it's been really refreshing to be able to have an adult conversation.
Melanie (Host):Yeah.
Nikki (Guest):And you know, it's just, I love the kids. I love the family Seeing so much progress, developing those relationships with families, it's just you know, gives you all the warm, fuzzy feelings, I feel like.
Melanie (Host):So that does bring me to my next point then, because now you're in the high schools and I noticed that your materials are geared more towards the little ones. So can you tell us a little bit about the story of PEAKS three six five and how you are using them now, how you're using your work with that?
Nikki (Guest):Sure. So I started my blog and my TPT store in November of 2012, like long time ago. Mhmm. And legitimately when starting it, my only goal was to try to make some extra money to pay off my student loans fast. I mean, that was my only goal.
Nikki (Guest):And that was kind of before it became like the, I don't know the cool thing to do to start a CPT store. And I didn't know what I was doing at all. So, but I started, I got the bug and I started to create materials and then like put them in my store and then, you know, started to get a few sales here and there. And then it just kind of turned into so much more initially when I started, I was anonymous because my employer at the time had something kind of weird written into the contract where I wasn't sure if they found out about it, if it was going to be okay. I was working for a nonprofit clinic at that point and I just was like, not really sure.
Nikki (Guest):And so I decided to stay anonymous. And I was anonymous for, like, 5, 6 years. But then it became a the I feel like you came to a point where I kind of was stuck. Like I hit, hit a wall. I wanted, I wanted to connect on a deeper level.
Nikki (Guest):And when you're an honest, there's only so much you can do as far as connecting with people. So I think I, I now I forget what year it was that I like revealed my identity. And it's been so great since then because I've gotten to be able to interact with other SLPs from around the country and then connect with other adoptees. And I don't think I would have been able to do that had I continued to stay anonymous.
Melanie (Host):Right. And so that does make me think about what you would say your favorite thing about being a content creator. And you mentioned how your audience you're able to connect more with your audience. Who do you notice reaches out to you the most?
Nikki (Guest):So when I first started posting, from the adoptee perspective, other adoptees are reaching out. Other SLPs would reach out too. But when I will say when I started my TPC store and for several years after that, I don't recall seeing any other Asian creators, SLPs, really anybody. That's changed a lot in the past couple years, which has been really nice. But before it was like me, myself, and I, lots of different people will reach out.
Nikki (Guest):I mean, I try to keep my Instagram pretty real because I feel like we've all kind of experienced burnout to a degree, especially after COVID. And I didn't want to be the rainbows and kittens kind of person because our jobs are hard and life can be hard sometimes. And I wanted people to be able to relate to that and get some realness. Not that other people aren't real on Instagram, but, like, it it you fall into that trap of my therapy has to be perfect and that my my room has to be perfect. And so I wanted it to be more, like, real, if you will.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. Yeah. Definitely more authentic. Cause when you're saying that, I'm just thinking about how it's more refreshing when you come from an authentic lens. We see self and perfectionism and that drives imposter syndrome.
Melanie (Host):And especially when we're people of color, it just it just hits different. I don't know. It just hits really different.
Nikki (Guest):It does. It does. And early on, I felt like I had to kinda keep up with the Joneses and and be what I saw everyone else doing and be when when everyone else was. And I'm like, if in the last few years, it's become more apparent to me. It's like, I can just be me and you can take it or leave it.
Nikki (Guest):And it doesn't really matter. It doesn't affect me as much as I, it used to. I think we all experienced that imposter syndrome at some point and it it's hard. It's I think I I still experience it even 13 years in. Like, I don't know what I'm doing.
Melanie (Host):Who knows? You know?
Nikki (Guest):For both of us. Really. Exactly.
Melanie (Host):So how did you how would you say you got over that imposter syndrome, especially as an Asian American woman? How did you get over that hurdle of just being completely you?
Nikki (Guest):I don't think I've gotten over it. I think it's a conscious effort every day to be like, you know, especially I think it was scary starting to speak out about things that were important to me, like, you know, trans right. From an adoptee's perspective, like adoptee rights and, and feelings and things. That's a little scary. Anytime you're putting yourself out there and being very vulnerable, which is a lot of what happened.
Nikki (Guest):It's scary. And so, you know, I'm less focused now and like, I don't really care about my follower account, like whatever. And I I mean, if I happen to look at the insights and and follower account and things, there's a clear indication of after I post certain things and what happens to the follow follower count. And, again, I'd I'd rather it be that way. But for a while, it was admittedly, that was important to me because I felt like, well, I can't I can't compete with everybody if I'm not doing whatever they're doing, but it became more of like, I wanted to be more authentic, as you said, and speak up to things that were important to me and things that I felt were important.
Nikki (Guest):And in doing that, it it took away some of the fear because it was like, it's important to me and I'm gonna speak about it. And if you don't like it, feel free to go. Yeah. You know?
Melanie (Host):There's this thing that I read or heard about, like, soulmate followers or something where really you want people who are more aligned with you. So I noticed just being more authentic in my brand instead of being more flowery, like, oh, we're in harmony. And and now I'm more like, no. Actually, these are real issues that affect real people. I started with followers, and it's actually been even harder to build my following since I've been fishing out.
Melanie (Host):So I do agree. Go ahead.
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. Agreed. I see that too. And I I think that watching this whole SLP, TBT, Instagram kind of movement has been very interesting because I'm not gonna say I was like original, you know, I think I, I, I started it kinda like before, just before it became the end thing to do. And then I've watched it kind of change over the past 10 years.
Nikki (Guest):And I think that with me, followers grew slowly, but kind of steadily. And I think the ones that have been around for a while are like loyal, like ride or die kind of people. The other ones that have kind of picked up along the way, some of them might not be. And and so I I do think that when we start speaking out about things that not everyone might agree with and that's okay. I think that there's certain things you can agree or disagree on, like, you know, I've seen this people say, like, pizza toppings, if or one thing.
Nikki (Guest):But for me, it's like human rights are not something that, like, you can it but again, there's the door.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. Yeah. And and I guess they call them touchy issues for a reason. Yeah. So we have here Kaylee.
Melanie (Host):Kaylee, hate to call you out, but she reached out in the chat box. And she was one of the students who I was mentioning who reached out and talked about being a transracial adoptee and an especially in an academic space. And she was also mentioning how she is feeling a little isolated because she was speaking out about things that matter to her, but she was getting gaslit by her academic department. Do you have just any word, especially your journey on being a transracial adoptee in this field, in this space?
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. Hi, Kaylee. First of all, I will say that with my department, I mean, and I commend you for speaking out. I didn't from my experience, I didn't really experience any kind of pushback. But, again, I also wasn't doing any I wasn't speaking out about things because at that point I was still I don't know what the word is.
Nikki (Guest):I was still I hadn't really kinda come to terms with all of this stuff. So that that's only happened within the last, I'd say, 5 years. So and I'm in my thirties. So you do the math. I think that you have to stay firm with it, but also kinda give yourself grace because if especially if you're the only person speaking out about things that can get very exhausting.
Nikki (Guest):And I'm obviously not telling you to stop doing it. It's important. I guess my question is, are you the only one that's speaking out about it? Because that can make a difference. I mean, if there's more than just you, it like I said, if it's just you, it can be very, very isolating.
Nikki (Guest):Mhmm.
Melanie (Host):As
Nikki (Guest):far as the she's going into 2nd year. Okay.
Melanie (Host):As far as this the I'll give
Nikki (Guest):you a little backstory about my kind of coming to terms with it. In 2020, when George Floyd happened, that just, I don't know. That hit me in, like, a a total as I think it did. A lot of people hit me in a vastly different way. And I think that that was the catalyst for a lot of things happening.
Nikki (Guest):And I started to really be thinking about my life and, you know, my parents are white. My brother and I are both adopted from Korea. And we grew up in a very, very white, very rural town. And so looking back on my childhood, I feel like I did everything I could to kind of blend in. I was very shy, like painfully shy.
Nikki (Guest):I didn't rock the bow. I was a follower. I was very much trying to blend in. And obviously, I wasn't going to because hello. But I was protected in the fact of, like, the very small town I grew up in, everybody knew me.
Nikki (Guest):Everybody knew my brother. Everybody knew my parent. I was in this bubble, but then I went to college, and that's when I really felt like I was in this weird space. And other transracial adoptee, they'll probably identify with this, but you don't I wasn't brought up with, you know, Korean traditions. I wasn't brought up with Korean the Korean link.
Nikki (Guest):I didn't know any of that. And so I felt like I didn't fit in with that part, but then like, I'm not white, so I don't fit in there. And so I was, I felt like in in a I was in a very weird space and I still am because people will make assumptions looking at just looking at you. And so then you're dealing with these microaggressions of, like, I mean, I can't tell you how many people walk up to me and speak to me in whatever language they think I speak it in. And this happens more often than not in the airport.
Nikki (Guest):It's a TSA agent. Like, I cannot tell you how many times it happens there. Other Asian people will also try try, And I always freeze and, like, I, like, freeze and lose all sense of, like, language abilities at that point because I don't know what to say, especially if I feel like they also don't speak English because then I'm like, I don't know what to do. So it's it's been a very long, difficult kind of journey to kind of figure out who I am and where do I belong and and all of that. I just saw Kaylee's comment come through.
Nikki (Guest):I think that that's hard because if other people wanna kind of avoid it, it it's hard. I feel like I don't really have any good advice on this part because I just it's hard to be the one, the only one speaking up, especially if you've got people who are unwilling or just flat out don't wanna even address it. And that may be their own defense mechanisms of, like, I can't I don't wanna rock the boat. I don't wanna, you know, speak out because I don't know what kind of effect it's gonna have on me. And I think that that's, unfortunately, what all people of color have to deal with.
Nikki (Guest):Like, when is this going to is this gonna benefit me or is it ultimately going to make it worse for me? Okay. So being a translational adoptee has really looking back impacted my whole life. And I'm still trying to work through the myriad of ways that it impacted me because at the end of the day, I'm walking through life as a nation and people are always gonna make assumptions. And how do you deal with those assumptions?
Nikki (Guest):And then and then you've got that part, and then you've got the part internally where you're like, you know, do I wanna search for my birth biological family? Do I not? It's a turmoil of, like, tons of different emotions at, like, any given point. And and little things can be triggering. So, yeah, I don't even know if I answered the question.
Melanie (Host):She well, Kaylee does say that she resonates with your experiences so much. I do want to ask you for other transracial adoptees who go through this. How fab you've been able to manage the myriad of emotions? Like
Nikki (Guest):sometimes I do it well and sometimes I don't. You know? I mean, I the one big thing that I finally did was I found an Asian therapist. Before I had when I first started going to therapy, it they were not Asian and it was fine, but I got to that point where I'm like, I really need someone who is Asian and that can, and who maybe will be versed in adoption trauma. Because that's like a whole nother level of things.
Nikki (Guest):And so once I found an agent therapist, I've been meeting with her on or off. Like we don't have regularly set. Basically, I just email her when I feel like I need to schedule a session. But it's been very good because a lot of the stuff you just don't have to explain to her, like, because she's also an Asian woman. You know?
Nikki (Guest):So I think finding someone who specializes in the adoption trauma has helped, but also who looks like me. Because I don't know how you feel, Melanie, but, like, now being in I'm outside of DC, so it's much more diverse than where I grew up. And I have had many, many more doctors who, who look like me. And that in itself is kind of a comfort. Like when you go in and you're see, like you see a mirror, for some reason, it just makes you feel like 10 times better.
Nikki (Guest):At least for me, it does. Yeah. So that's been helpful. I think I getting out of my small town, being in a much more diverse, you know, area. My kids are biracial too.
Nikki (Guest):My husband's Indian. So I really it was very important to me to have my kid go to school where there's more diversity and where they would have a higher chance of seeing people who look like them. And so I'm I'm so grateful even though cost of living is ridiculous here. Yeah. I'm very grateful that we are in a more diverse place.
Melanie (Host):I really like how you mentioned the representation topic because I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma. So if you can just imagine Oklahoma predominantly white. I mean, Tulsa, we do have the historic Black Wall Street. However, there's been a lot of gentrification. So, you know, of course, there's that.
Melanie (Host):So I left to go to Washington DC for college and for stayed there for graduate school. And as you know, as you're saying, it's very diverse. They called DC chocolate city at one point. So I always say that I was born and raised in Tulsa, but I grew up in Washington, DC because that's
Nikki (Guest):where I
Melanie (Host):like, I could be myself. That's where I felt like I learned more about myself, about my culture, about my heritage. And, yeah, I definitely agree, especially when in health care, just finding those people who look like you and you don't have to overexplain your experience. I mean, right now, I do have a white Latina therapist and she honestly, she really is great and she does her best to understand, but there's still that, like, wall
Nikki (Guest):where I still like, you don't really get
Melanie (Host):it though, because you don't walk the same
Nikki (Guest):live there.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. You haven't lived the experience. So I, yeah, I a 100% get what you're saying. Now as a TPT store creator in this space, an Asian woman who's a TPT creator, What has been your experiences? Because I do know I remember when we were talking to each other on Instagram, there is definitely a bit of comparison in the success even.
Melanie (Host):So can you tell us a little bit about that?
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. So again, I you know, being in this kind of game for over 10 years, I've definitely noticed and, again, it's hard too because I don't think it's any any one person. I that's not what I'm getting at. I think it's, you know, the field is, you know, 92% white. So, like, by, you know, statistically, you're gonna have more white SOPs anywhere because Right.
Nikki (Guest):There's just more of them. So I don't necessarily think it's just it's that. I think that, like I said, more Asian SOPs I've seen on Instagram more. And so I love connecting with them because I feel like there's community and and it's it's been so long since I really, I think it's only really been in the last couple of years that I've really seen it pick up where I'm like, yay. There are more, you know, Asian SLPs, black SLPs, any basically anyone that didn't look like, you know, the 92%.
Nikki (Guest):So I do think that yeah. Do I have to maybe work a little bit harder to be seen, to be to be recognized kind of thing. Yeah. And I don't know the reason for that. I think people just grad gravitate towards what they know and what they're comfortable with.
Nikki (Guest):And for whatever reason, that usually is people who kind of look like you. You know? And so that's been difficult to kinda feel like you're kinda on the outside. And I think, unfortunately, for me, that also it's it's confounded for me by the compounded by the there's some adoption trauma in there too. So it's, it's that maybe not feeling good enough.
Nikki (Guest):And that comes from, I think, a couple different parts for me. And I don't know if other adoptees feel like that. And that every, every adoptee is different. So in their experience, their experiences are different. So again, I don't wanna ever speak for anybody else, but I think for me, that's what I've noticed that you kind of feel like you're kind of on the outskirt.
Nikki (Guest):When you notice collaboration on thing, I think people should pay attention to who's collaborating, where are the opportunities being afforded. Are they being extended to people of color? You know, it can be a hard space to be sometimes. Social media is, you know, a blessing and a curse sometimes.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. It it really is. What's coming up for me when you're saying this is I've been on a few consultation calls, and I love the grace that you extend. I don't think that the 92% are intending to be racist. I think that just like you said, you just gravitate towards what, you know, so just like how, you know, I'm, I'm a black woman.
Melanie (Host):I'm going to naturally gravitate toward black people and wanna reach out to the BIPOC community. And so it is vice versa. And sadly, it seems like there's a divide, but it's also just the reality. However, at the same time, I do think that the 92% should also make the effort to extend those opportunities out. And so I do really appreciate you also saying that because that's, that's advice that I give.
Melanie (Host):It's like, Hey, you know, if you want to be a culturally responsive organization, these are those specific steps. So it's not necessarily just being anti racist. It's also just simply just saying, hey. Oh my gosh. I know Nikki also creates content.
Melanie (Host):Let me reach out to her and ask her.
Nikki (Guest):Right. That being having the opportunity and making sure that, you know, other people, which it it it does kinda have to be put on the 92%, I think. Because worse, try out here trying to, like, scramble to, like, even get a foot in the door. But if they're in there already you know what I mean? Like, give us a hand.
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. Kind of big.
Melanie (Host):Literally makes your hand out
Nikki (Guest):in the forest. Right. And, and, and, and say that you're, like you said, like there's, there's, and I do think there's room for everybody. I mean, I don't want this to become like a it's it's us against them kind of thing. Right.
Nikki (Guest):But at the end of the day, there's power in numbers. And obviously we know where the numbers are. And so they've gotta be the ones to, like I said, help us out.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for saying that because I do think that that just simply has to be heard. I think that from my perception, it might from our white colleagues, it might seem like, oh my gosh, our BIPOC poly colleagues are just so mad at us pretty much.
Melanie (Host):Like, they're ticked off at us, and we're even scared to reach out to them because they're angry. But I think that even BIPOC people can be a bit more graceful with where they're coming from too. So I think that there's work to be done on both sides when it comes
Nikki (Guest):to Agreed. And I'm always willing to have a respectful kind of dialogue with anybody. I'm not gonna just be, like, pointing fingers and you did this. And I'm willing to have an open dialogue with someone who really does want to understand it better, but you gotta be willing to hear some, maybe not so, you know, that's some hard shirts. Mhmm.
Nikki (Guest):Mhmm. You know? And I mean, and I'm in the same way. Like I, you know, this journey started not so, not so long ago for me and trying to figure out all of this. And, you know, again, the journey to be anti racist is that it doesn't end it's it's, we're always going to be working towards it.
Nikki (Guest):There's it's not an end point. And I still have work to do on that. We all do, but it it is. It it's a long game. It's it's not nothing is gonna happen overnight.
Nikki (Guest):I agree.
Melanie (Host):Well, since we are on the topic of extending grace, what would you say that we could do to be more culturally responsive to our Asian American creators and colleagues?
Nikki (Guest):I think it's including us in any kind of collaboration. Thinking about think outside of who you normally go to for collaboration. Yeah. You you you've got your friends that you you love and you collaborate with all the time, but think outside that, there's tons of other people just not, and not even just on Instagram that have knowledge and have a different perspective and that might benefit you. So it's you have to, again, social media can be one of those.
Nikki (Guest):It can sometimes feel like high school where you're like, I'm not popular.
Melanie (Host):Right.
Nikki (Guest):It can kind of feel like that. And you you find community kind of where you can make it. I've met so many amazing people that I literally have never met face to face because of social media. Like, I I love it for that reason, but it then can become a very big comparison game of so and so has this opportunity or so and so has what whatever has happened. Pay attention to who you purchased from.
Nikki (Guest):Everyone's got their go to, and that's fine. Everyone's got their favorite. That's fine, but, you know, branch out. And I it's hard too because non Instagram, like, we're comfortable putting our personal views out there. Not everybody is, and everybody is on their own journey with feeling comfortable.
Nikki (Guest):And some people might have different views on, like, I feel like I shouldn't address that because it it's not my I need to stay in my lane kind of thing, which I felt like that a lot earlier on. And for me now, it's more of like, is this a human rights issue? If it is, then we're all human. So we all should have some kind of stance on it. You know what I mean?
Nikki (Guest):Like the big one that I'm following now is trans rights, and I just cannot understand. Like, I cannot understand why this is so hard. I, like, legitimately do not understand. And can people just trying to live their lives? They're not bothering anybody, but for whatever reason, it is like peep some people just want to just, I, I don't understand it.
Melanie (Host):Oh, yeah.
Nikki (Guest):You know? And it's just, I veered off from your question again.
Melanie (Host):Well, and if you may blow trust me, it blows my mind too. And I try to intentionally stay away from the news because
Nikki (Guest):I do too because God I can't
Melanie (Host):interest me. But I happened to turn it on and I'm thankful I saw this because just like with other BIPOC voices, LGBTQ voices are also hushed in our field. There's only so many speaking out against what's going on. And so I always see the AC Goldberg truth, I always see Wes speaking out. I always see gender affirming voice speaking out, but sadly, it's really just them right now with that big platform.
Melanie (Host):And so you really don't know what's going on still, which is very helpful to them by the way. I see it. But I happen to just turn on the news and I see that they're trying to take away health care from trans kids.
Nikki (Guest):What?
Melanie (Host):Yeah. In 2023. In 2023. And so I like how you said that there is no such thing as a lane when it comes to human rights, because at the end of the day, we are all human, 1. And, actually, especially when it comes to those minoritized group, please speak because we're minoritized.
Melanie (Host):There's not enough. Yes. There's hours of numbers, just like what you said. So thank you for bringing that issue also to the show today.
Nikki (Guest):And I do think people need to start getting comfortable, like with being uncomfortable and yeah. Will it mean that you might lose followers?
Melanie (Host):Mostly. But
Nikki (Guest):does that really matter? It it's none of that. I know. And I know everybody, it if their businesses, it's sometimes it's their only livelihood. It I get it.
Nikki (Guest):But, like, I don't know how you can ignore some of this stuff. Yeah. Florida is scary. Kaylee's saying about Florida.
Melanie (Host):With everything.
Nikki (Guest):If I lived in Florida, I would be trying to just breathe. I mean, point blank. Actually, the Santas is is scary. And it just you know? And then I'm hearing I don't know if you had heard about the, that they're trying to claim, like, parents who get their trans children gender affirming care that, like, that'll be labeled child abuse.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. I saw that. That's exactly what I saw. That's exactly what I saw.
Nikki (Guest):Why? Yeah. Yeah. So so yeah. I mean, I think back to your original question, how can you support it?
Nikki (Guest):Be aware of who you buy from. Maybe take a chance on somebody else. You know, if, if you're, if you're gonna spend your money, I think look at where you're spending it. I don't necessarily know if your people have to align with, like, what your your beliefs are. I, you know, but I do think that you have to pay attention to where you're spending your money.
Nikki (Guest):And again, try somebody new. You might be surprised and really just branch out. It's and again, there's not very many Asian American key petite SLP people.
Melanie (Host):I mean,
Nikki (Guest):I don't, I still don't know very many. I think I can count on like maybe one hand, the ones that I do know.
Melanie (Host):So can you shout them out? Because to be honest with you, I can only think of you, Nikki. I can't
Nikki (Guest):Maybe it is just me. I can't
Melanie (Host):Yeah. Honestly. Yeah.
Nikki (Guest):There are more Hopefully, they'll comment and with their with their stores that I can make sure I support. Mhmm. But for a while, I feel like it was just me, and I don't I don't know if there aren't that I that I know of. So, yeah, we have to I can't think of any off the top of my head, though, that could beat mom bring.
Melanie (Host):That was It's
Nikki (Guest):a real thing.
Melanie (Host):Yeah. Absolutely. Can someone actually tag their favorite TPT stores? And, yeah, I'm sure that most a lot of people will say Nikki, but, like, maybe I don't know.
Nikki (Guest):I've been around for a while, so I don't know. Maybe maybe I the only one, but that's sad. I mean and that's the other thing. Like, the this this is a plug for something I have in my head. I really would love to connect with other byproduct SLPs who want to start a store and focus my energies on that and answer questions and things like that.
Nikki (Guest):So that's kind of a summer project right now. My life is extremely busy and I have to wait until the end of school year. But I would love to have monthly Zooms where we I answer questions and things like that because I'm no expert, but I have been doing this quite a long time. And so I feel like I can answer basic questions and to get more BIPOC has to be on TPT so that there can be more of a community of people doing this. Because, again, it helped me pay off my loan.
Nikki (Guest):Again, it's it's not a get rich overnight kind of thing. It's a lot of work, but Mhmm. I would love to see more people do it. So that's kind of that's in my head. So I'm thinking about doing it.
Melanie (Host):Well, we're very excited about that. Please put that out there. Because that's what you're saying that I'm thinking about all of the SLPs to be who
Nikki (Guest):For sure.
Melanie (Host):That to look up to, you know, just someone to look up to. I mean, even Kaylee, I know she had to leave, but I mean, I'm just looking at her comments and I know that this was very enriching for her because it's it's isolating. It could be
Nikki (Guest):very isolating. Tell her she's can DM me here. I'll we'll we'll chat.
Melanie (Host):Okay. Okay. Yes. I will with Joel. Well, Nikki, I do wanna ask, are there any other changes that you would like to see in the field and also just ways that we could be more sensitive to transracial adoptees in the profession?
Nikki (Guest):I think we'd all like to see more diversity in the field. That's, like, kind of my major thing. As far as being more sensitive to adoptees or transracial about these, I think you have to be aware that trauma exists. And I have a very good relationship with my adopted parents. Like we're very close, but that's not always the case.
Nikki (Guest):And I do firmly believe that with any adoption, there will be trauma. It it's it's unavoidable. It it there's trauma from the very beginning, no matter when it happened. Because because a lot, you know, a lot of people will be like, oh, they're babies. They don't remember.
Nikki (Guest):No. I don't think that's true. So I think 2 things can be true. You can have a, quote, positive adoption experience, but you can also have trauma, which is where I feel like I fall into. The big thing for me is remembering that trauma is there.
Nikki (Guest):A lot of adoptees, struggle with anxiety and depression too. I can I struggle with both of those? So I think there is I forget what the actual numbers are, but there are is research that that there tends to be a higher rate of those in adoptees. So I think being very sensitive with that. And I think people really need to pay attention to the questions they ask adoptees because the very triggering questions are like off the top of my head, like, are you going to search for your rival biological family?
Nikki (Guest):Like, do you know, do is, is so and so your real sibling, like we, I get that all the time. And then what they mean is biologically, are they your siblings? And I don't know why people think that they can perfect strangers will just ask you extremely personal question under the guise of conversation, but it, their questions are very triggering. So I think we have to be aware of the questions you're asking about deep and I mean, make sure that person is in the space. Make sure it's okay with you, that they're asking that they're, you're asking Matt of them.
Nikki (Guest):It can just be very triggering to bring up those things. And it's just mental health thing is mental health to me is a big deal. And I, again, want to go on the record and say, I'm not against adoption. Think about who is centered when you're talking about adoption. Like how do we see adoption?
Nikki (Guest):I just made a post about this recently. How is adoption portrayed in movie and books and in TV shows? It's usually I mean, I think it's almost always, it's this happy, like, rainbow kind of situation. And what that's doing is it's taking away the kind of the voice of the adoptee. And it's usually the adoptive parents that are centered in this.
Nikki (Guest):It's not the adoptees. And I feel like anytime adoptees speak out or say anything that's either remotely negative, people just jump on you and it's like, well, you should be grateful. You should feel lucky. Those kinds of things. And it's almost like what you're telling me.
Nikki (Guest):My experiences aren't valid. You're telling me my feelings aren't valid and it I'm supposed to just smile and and be like, it's alright. So just be aware of that. If you're if you're interacting with an adoptee, whether it be, you know, a child on your caseload or anything, I I'm firmly under the belief that any adoptee and any adoptive parent should have mental health resources from the get go. Because ultimately, especially transracial, I don't know that.
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. She's right. She just said, wait, they savorism is very real in the adopted community. And it is, but I don't think anyone prepared. Parent adopted parents for like, what are you gonna do when your child experiences some kind of racism?
Nikki (Guest):It's not if it's when, and, and it's gonna happen. And it's not like I said to my mom, we were having a conversation about this and I was like, what am I supposed to do? You can't follow me around for my whole life to be there, to dress whatever. That's not realistic, but it's going to happen. So just the mental health piece is, is very big.
Nikki (Guest):And I feel like if I had had mental health resources from like early on, that would've maybe helped a little. So, yeah, just be aware trauma exists and it always will in these situations.
Melanie (Host):Well, thank you so much for sharing that and sharing your story. I definitely agree that, of course, not all of us are transracial adoptee, so me don't know exactly how to address it and how to approach it.
Nikki (Guest):So I
Melanie (Host):do appreciate you bringing those questions to the forefront too, because just like what you said, people don't necessarily have bad intentions when they're asking, but it is a sense of ignorance. It's just like, oh, so when are you you gonna reach out to your old parents? It's like, that's a cute question. Please don't ask me that question again. So I I really do appreciate you, and your vulnerability in that name.
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. No problem.
Melanie (Host):Well, where can people find you if they have any more questions about your new program that is coming up? Yeah. I kinda push you on that.
Nikki (Guest):Yeah. Yeah. No. Now now I put it out there. Now I gotta do it.
Melanie (Host):Right.
Nikki (Guest):So t three sixty five on Instagram. I am it's the same name on Facebook, though. I feel like I'm never on Facebook anymore. I do have a private Facebook group. It's called SLP 365.
Nikki (Guest):It's linked in my Instagram profile, so you can join that. I do send out emails, newsletters, but I'm on Instagram more than one person should probably be.
Melanie (Host):So if you
Nikki (Guest):really wanna get in touch with me, DM me there because that's where I'll see it and respond to the questions.
Melanie (Host):Thank you so much for coming on the show. Well, I can't wait to talk to you all next week on the pediatric speech sister show. Thank you again, Nikki. I'll see you all next week. Bye.