This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired February 1, 2024.
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle an important but tricky topic in this episode - how to set healthy boundaries with others when tensions run high. Whether it's a contentious divorce, difficult coworker, or suspected lies, Bill and Megan provide realistic examples and actionable advice to constructively handle high-conflict situations. Tune in to learn techniques to establish boundaries while remaining calm and keeping conflicts small. This episode delivers takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.
They provide tips across three common scenarios:
- Co-parenting after divorce: Look to standards or common practices as a starting point. Focus on protecting the children and not discussing certain topics in front of them. You can only control your own behavior - walk away if tensions escalate.
- Workplace conflicts: Practice using the BIF (brief, informative, friendly, firm) method in emails or conversations. Don't engage in unnecessary battles - end conversations if needed.
- Suspected lies: Always consider three perspectives - it could be true, false, or somewhere in between. Don't react emotionally or you may become a target of blame. Reality test tactfully if needed.
Bill and Megan stress practicing these techniques and finding simple but memorable phrases to use when setting boundaries. Their realistic examples and actionable advice provide takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.
Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (01:35) - Kicking Off Season Four
- (02:11) - Setting Limits in High Conflict Situations
- (03:00) - Co-Parenting
- (11:00) - The Work World
- (16:56) - Lying
- (27:29) - Wrapping Up
- (28:01) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence
What is It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People?
Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!
Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?
In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.
And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.