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The Bird of Paradise needs cogitators to escape the Gilead system. The only supplier is a Forge World Fabricator General who communicates through exploding servitors and demands the crew retrieve a stolen stasis coffin -- contents unknown, questions forbidden. Aloysius has an orc head wired into the ship's comms. The crew descends into the underhive to find answers, and instead finds a chop-shop, a gang with red bionic arms, and an economy built entirely on backstabbing.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Wrath & Glory
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Host
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What is Wrath & Glory | Narrative Declaration?
An Ogryn, Rogue Trader, Aeldari, and an Inquisitor walk into a Warhammer 40,000 TTRPG campaign, and it’s everything you expect it to be! Listen in to Narrative Declaration’s run of WH40K: Wrath & Glory! You’ll laugh, cry, and scream “heresy!” as our party journeys through the “Litanies of the Lost” adventures.
sure captain why not and while i'm at it would you like a foot massage
you're not the broke traitor let's continue with the fun roadway
all right everyone who's ready to play some more wrath in glory
make that funky music
that's all i had welcome back everybody to another exciting episode of wrath in glory
i am your host for this evening i am playing uh roos the ogre warrior of course i have amazing
other cast members who could be bringing you such a wonderful time starting with hulky crow
that is me i am hulky crow and as for the last however many we've been doing this show i of
course we'll be playing the lex mechanic with a very strong restart whole session restarting
restart it do the bit again i had started with hulky crow i can't my brain is my brain is wired
weird literally and figuratively i will be playing the lex mechanic aloysius hafsig
and of course we have odo hey hello it's me odo i will be bringing you kelrana the elder
corsair psyker and then we have the d of speaker hi it's me speaker d
i play the rogue trader known as alden rush he just explodes yeah i really hope noel wasn't
sleeping well how could she
and of course we have our eluscious game master mr thurston hillman help me save me please get me out
of here somebody said thurston approximately seven hundred dollars
we need the money we need the money for the new imperial night thing if you donate for the night
zoran will let me out of the cage we got a donation to youtube hell sorry i don't donate for a while
hope everyone's been safe and feeling loved out there in the world right don't worry we love you
tony because your ten dollars will not be going to paying the artists or paying the players or paying
the bills for anything it's going straight
i want you to put something on the overlay that's just the night fun
with your help with your help tony zoran is ten dollars closer to fatherhood thank you tony
for me fifty for me fifty dollars closer we get her i just make this more unhinged this is him
this is the boy you know we had our pre-show talking about this already for everyone now
watching this episode this is our child that we're trying to obtain this thing's stupid stupidly
seven hundred dollars yeah it's the size of your torso of course it's seven hundred dollars
we want it though no but for us obviously anybody who attends the live stream so every every sub
donation bit thing everything else that all goes straight into help help fund the show help pay
people here so we greatly appreciate you because these shows are expensive we we do it to pay the
players we do it to pay um you know like compensating thurston for his time the players for their time
all the artists who make like these overlays everything else all your support is greatly
appreciated all your subs bits donating donations etc wherever it is or you even can't help out with that
just telling people we exist really helps out the shows just going over to maybe like reddit or other
social media channels or maybe like your facebook group or your discord channels and stuff that
as long as you're not breaking any rules or encroaching on people's stuff about it um we greatly
appreciate it just say hey like this show i watch is you know really funny entertaining with a bunch of
amazing voice actors and awesome people with amazing art and all this other stuff that we greatly
appreciate any word of mouth you can give uh by letting people know that we exist
so thanks for you know potentially sharing our videos and stuff and our clips and things like
that so thank you guys for help out with that thank you so much so but of course the thing that we try
to give back to you is funny haha shows which when with that thurston what funny haha adventure do you
have for us today we're gonna dive in right away but someone just had the greatest comment and i have
to say it we could name the night tater tot oh my god my muscle boy i'm just i'm just i had to get
that off my chest before we started okay very valid that was a very good comment from chat thank you
all right all right all right so last episode we finished up at the the monastery of hefestium's rest the
party managed to claim the thigh phone of saint hefestium departing returning to the bird of paradise
but the bird of paradise is still sadly stranded in the gilead system it's getting supplies
um it now has has you know this this assistance from the the wider flotilla jakel veronius's rogue
trader flotilla and system um the bird of paradise is almost ready to get out except it needs
one more thing it needs replacement cogitator parts
the only place in system that could assist is the forge world of avacris now the party will be
traveling there and and as you as you've traveled there um
the captain has made some inquiries about these cogitators alden you've you've managed to reach out
to some contacts uh contacts on this in the system and one of them surprised you you were actually as
you started sort of looking around for uh contacts on the forge world you received a communique
from arch domina exekra vac cool i'll post this uh this name here in the chat who is
who is who is the magos commander of a region on the planet called balaxia
now the important thing to note is that exekra is the acting fabricator general for the planet
and you have received an invite to the settlement of balaxia um to discuss terms but it requires the
utmost secrecy and the coordinates you're you're provided are you know essentially in like a
a a manufactorum region like back alley kind of meeting point that's all you know you know that
the gilead system is strapped right now for resources as you've seen even just like gathering important
holy relics is is one of their few means to combat some of the threats here um so it seems it seems
interesting that you've been contacted or they're even entertaining a request
meeting the adeptus mechanicus in a back alley only sounds like it'll go well
hmm well certainly the first thing i'll do is i'll call upon aloysis
uh perhaps he can give some more information on this communique or this strange situation we're no
doubt about to ramble into provided the orc hasn't taken control of his nervous system by now
we are lurking at hulky he's not there
hulky the voices just isn't there where is he you gotta call the sir and all citizens on the bridge
you want me to call them yes yes give a call straight away i i want you to beat the quarters
for some reason ruth is on the comms all right sir like there's a there's a ship wide broadcast
everyone hears it like i can't push my like sound effect button right now but like wait hold up
no i can i can figure this out hold up hold up we have the technology i have a i have a physical device
so much to help oh god okay okay oh all right and all six and all sessions roast um you're being called
up to the bridge the captain wants to speak with you it's about those robot people but we don't want
quite sure what's going to be going on with it but but i think he's quite scared about it actually and he
he really needs to help about it if you don't mind coming up oh i thank you very much and uh i love you
i love pivots to my arch militant and order him to uh contain the mass riots that are now going
on in the lower deck oh yeah it is the captain is afraid and uh creating a state of panic and also
also that they are meant to suppress all mention of love love does not exist in this
millennium service and duty yep
well
where the hell is he
the door opens oh oh no the comms come back okay the whole ship again
oi what do you want uh sorry captain i'm a bit tied up right now in the laboratory uh could you
please just relate to me on your private communique i i have my hands full you you know what i'm dealing
with is this also on the entire ship white yeah absolutely yes i am going to press the ship white
comms button just stop utilizing the ship white comms for anything other than a full-scale announcement
there's a response on the ship white comms god yeah yeah yeah
oh hello hello hi
hi it's carl um i'm down in the scrubber deck um
since since we're using this thing i just thought i i need i need a scrubber that has bristles on it
arch militant see that coral receives 10 lashings
and also a scrubber with bristles on it thank you sir i i love you thank you
yeah that's appreciated
all right i need to go to his quarters immediately before more of this continues uh would a lot of you
like to follow me i think i'll have to crush that green little head in his chest
of course i ain't got anywhere else to be that's damn right you don't
god why did you say that in a way where you made it made up you said that you were like you were z
snapping oh girl you haven't a place to be it's because i it's because he's a little bit punty
what'd you fucking say you got nowhere to be he's just serving a bit oh i know you have nowhere to be
yeah wait that's not my voice oh it's all over oh it's all going down everybody's getting possessed
alden rosh's twin brother alden uh but serving
olden butt serving no that's zedic this is some steven that's zedic actually
that is zedic everyone is so mean to me
look i know there is a zedic chiffindale comic out there somewhere i know it's there
i see it with my own eyes go ahead we assemble and head to a loises i imagine yes that is correct
all right hulky you can continue game mastering describe what they see as they enter absolutely
so the party enters into the laboratory where loises has been tinkering with the orcoid head
to a state of disarray many fires everywhere technology seemingly running rampant loises
scrambling back and forth and batting away mecha dendrites seemingly running wilds all stemming from
an orcoid head in a jar plugged into an even greater array of wires and machinery
oh yes that i see you got the message would you be so kind as to hand me another two or three of
those cogitator units they're piled up by the door what do we what what i'll take a look at the
cogitators we most of them are broken are you did you do this this is this is why there's a shortage of
cogitators did you do this yes as you can see by the state of this laboratory yes i did this now
help me shove one of these into his head so i can calm him down you if it weren't for these cogitators
alloys says we would be out of the sector
why did you feel so compelled to take out and break all of my cogitators i didn't feel compelled
to break them i intended to use one to stick in his head and turn him off and turn me my brain on
inside you that is not a really good term of phrase i'm not winning this one you avoided the worst
sound clip of your life so true you did what inside of him i stuck my cogitator inside of him but he keeps
breaking them
i don't know what to say just look you know how you know how to play foots ball just take one of those
i'm going to get in close no i don't why why don't you just shoot the damn thing because i need it alive
captain for what purpose it's clearly causing you and me more harm than good yes it you can't make
an omelet without breaking a few eggs or a few thousand cogitators sometimes the fruits of our labors
need time to grow now hell you don't even eat solid foods sometimes i do i smoke too
hellcron is just gonna grab the cogitator and uh uh uh chuck it at a voice
goes to receive what do i need to do to catch the not football
uh uh uh okay uh well i guess an appropriate check here would be a
i don't know an awareness check give me a difficulty to awareness check it's intelligence based
i got you i i it would be funnier to complicate this one it would be very funny to complicate it
would it would
nah never mind you're fine you're fine you're fine you you like hand goes up smart guy grabs ball
yeah i still got it ah those were the days and aloysa goes to try and dunk this cogitator into the
open part of this orcoid head and hopefully calm it down
what's that what's going on what why'd you oh oh oh
yes there we go there we go oh i just connect you now things yes and oh you're learning things so
good you're gonna have a thing and then you has another thing then you has a thing and a thing
yes that's so true bestie and now you're cut off from all of the my things in my lab
okay now this is yes captain might uh let's
let's role play for just a moment i thought that's what we were doing right now i thought that's the
whole point of the show i don't know what you're talking about let's role play for a moment okay i
i am going to play i don't know say uh uh the archmakers dominus of uh local forge world all right
and you are going to play aloysus hello aloysus how are you
hail lady domina i am a servant honorable and true to the armed desire that's fantastic one and zero
and all that hubba bub listen why do you have an orc in your stomach
he's he's not in my stomach anymore there's no orc in my stomach yeah i'm on the table this is clearly
established i think you need your oculus units adjusted with all due respect lady domina
we are merely performing experiments to better exterminate this xeno species in time now listen
i'm not a member of the adeptus mechanicus i mean i i olden the dominus is a member of the adeptus
mechanics but outside in the real life role play i don't uh captain ma'am i've already lost the plot
thank you we're going to a forge world where we are going to need to beg for replacements to the
cogitators that have been broken in the name of your science experiments aloysus and ha ha you got a
beg only a weedy little runt begs aloysus taps a couple buttons on his wrist gauntlet to dumb down the
orc oh my god oh my god uh it's like a like squishing sound as the brain is
it's exactly like real brain surgery if they're talking normal all you do is just put a little
pressure on one region they just stop talking for a little bit this is this is going to be off topic
but i have to mention it because it really reminds me of it have you guys seen those clips of that uh
one guy who's like um like he's he's bedridden but he was he was being carted around and uh like he's
like there's like he can't move or anything he's all paralyzed um and he's being carted around a
grocery store and but he's able to use these voice commands and he's like mom drugs me to be a
vegetable and yes i have seen that guy but he's really funny and he keeps going are you stealing
again mom are you stealing from people and then people buy it and they're like she drugs me to be
a vegetable so now i imagine you're brett and then she goes up to mute him and she's getting embarrassed
he's like you need to go away you're right to talk dude so now that's what i imagine aloysus now has
with this orc head exactly that's exactly what i do i'm a gretchen now
you can have your authority privileges restored when you learn to behave you can enjoy being a
gretchen for a little while
weird yeah oh i won't be pressing on him a little too hard but the lady domino does not need to know
about this particular experiment how are you going to possibly and feasibly hide that is she coming to
the ship well i should hope not i suppose then she doesn't need to know well if you're leaving the orc
here then i suppose i don't have a problem but i swear to god emperor of mankind who i believe you
instead of any other sort of deity
if you call i'm talking orc head thank you if you cause another problem on the ship that
debilitated to such a degree i am going to make your i'm going to make your close combat arms do the
funky chicken
do you understand me you're going to make me do the funky chicken captain
i don't have any
captain it is within my rights as a member of the inquisition to bear arms but these puppies might
be illegal in several systems of voices does a little flex that's great uh i'm going to leave
and prepare for the harvest lander now oh oh there he goes okay you begin making your way exiting making
your way towards the uh the docking ramps um or the rest of you joining your captain yes of course
you know i do love his color commentary no i i think i like not being possessed by a nascent psychic tyrant
would you like to be possessed by an orc would you like to have your arms move
at the behest of a lesser evolved violent crazy species one hell bent on war and domination
you know oh very much very much unlike yeah yeah definitely exclusive to orcs exactly humanity
would ever do something like that why would you ever think that even though you never said that i'm also
psychic too moving on no i would i would i would never listen to a lesser species you're right let's go
uh the captain is already like turning the arvis on yeah just flipping just like oh my god you know i
could i could crash listen to something and i'd be done with it i'd probably survive this time i'm really
gonna do it there you're quite right not that a good captain would ever abandon their crew no we're all
going together when we go
you want a driver this torbs huh
no i suppose i'll uh i mean these things are piloted by servitors no they're they're piloted
piloted piloted piloted piloted well i can pilot pilot it i'm a pilot pilot what's your pilot pilot
my pilot pilot well yeah i'll i'll tell you my pilot is six i believe you should i roll a pilot check
to pilot this arvis lander yeah give me a difficulty three check here all right this is to see if i if
i miss this world's trade centers no that's five successes with one shift possible all right
you begin to take off as you as you begin to take off uh there's the last uh communicate from the
ship um and you're you're taking off and it's like listen to your mind when you talk like that
all right captain we uh we've got you on disembarkation and
oh i i've got you there all can talk communication sis
wait sorry captain uh there was something on the other line there were some sort of data
glitch daemon we'll we'll get it eliminated please with all prejudice do
aloysius i'm having second thoughts about allowing you to bring that orc head onto the vessel
it shouldn't be able to do that hold on well it is i'll punch a few more commands and do
i'm going to put more hydraulic pressure onto its brain uh the ship white comms of course switch on
again of course yes yeah yeah in response to the hydraulic hello hello
oh my god who is it now
my my name's billy
splendid billy what can i do for you are you sanguineous can i can i can i wish for a gift
have you been a very good boy
uh-huh how old are you billy
23 23 i close the comm
and the armors lighter pushes through the clouds
like santa's saying
fucking you know it's bad when zoran's like next
see
all right next pitch streamers don't be silly billy sanguineous isn't real
sanguineous was never real and if he was he's dead and in hell yeah
one must imagine sanguineous in hell you must you must conceive
rip and tear until it is done
all right so you make your way down to
abacus and then the scale forged boundary of balaxia
you land the harvest lighter there's there's no one to greet you it's all automated here
uh the menial tech thralls and tech adops and servitors and scatari operatives mill about
there's oppressive light a constant drizzle but not not from any atmosphere like just industrial
drizzle off of structures far above and to the sides and coming from pipe work and
steam and smoke everywhere you find yourselves walking for several several blocks
eventually taking a lift traveling deeper down always down until you find yourselves in a
section of very very large industrial structures um fabricatorums and
and several uh plasma generators that you can see humming they give the area this kind of incandescent blue
eventually
you come to the location that you've been instructed to arrive at
and there is someone there a human-sized figure with
sickly glowing light flickering on their back coming from bionics some sort uh like a lumen strip of some
kind there are the the things mouth and lower jaw all been removed and replaced with some kind of
comms unit and it stands there kind of like a sentinel
staring out with lifeless eyes
hello
uh hello
greetings
i'm captain aldenrash of the rogue traitor vessel the bird of paradise i require an urgent meeting with your
nearest
goodness
may ghost to discuss the negotiation and purchasing of several tons of cogitators
you are addressing them
well
it is my honor to meet you then
might i have the pleasure of your name
i am arch domina
varkul
well a pleasure to meet you arch domina varkul
i shall make things quick as i do not wish to linger here and take any more of your precious time than i need to
how might i arrange for the purchase or transfer of several metric tons of cogitators from your stocks to mine
something was stolen from me you will retrieve it
all right could you perhaps would you perhaps be interested in money i have many thrones upon my vessel i can
thrones are useless to us
the object is paramount
i see
what object was stolen from you to enjoy the how much money do i have to pay to not deal with this
look
can i make a money check
i wouldn't be a rogue trader if i didn't try you know what exactly this would literally would
have been the summary of because we did this extra scheduled extra time trying to finish it
we're like oh this is a way to fix it hey yes about 50 thrones will be fine here you are
it's like it's like the far cry optional endings you just wait and you win
wait sorry the back is the back of the track they basically uh
this is like objects paramount objects stolen from us money useless
i see well why don't you tell me a bit about this object and i'll see what i can do
it is a stasis coffin
a stasis coffin it was stolen you've mentioned that
where did they steal it from
it was from a facility nearby it is a tech crypt
what is inside of this stasis coffin i do not know okay it's gilliman
i do not know
do you have any tasks that need doing that perhaps you do have information on
like say uh ongoing rebellion or uh
particularly messy manufactorum floor
i have skitari for that i thought you were intelligent
well you are quite correct that i am i also don't take kindly to insults
eloises will tap good for you
captain uh dealing with more highbrow mechanic and personnel is rather
prickly yet i may be able to intercede please do
do you do walk up to this thing eloises i do okay
uh give me give me a tech check uh difficulty two sure
uh uh check your mic activation your character keeps
oh yeah constantly on the alert that's weird uh that is five successes sorry six successes and a shift
all right perfect uh so as you approach you you know that this is obviously not the arch
stone this is just a servitor that they're using to relay communications yeah um you come up to it
and it it it it's visually scanning you
and then it stops
what will you do
hail archdomen i do apologize for the intercession of
the good captain here perhaps you and i may be able to strike a chord
it appears i will talk to your captain again
perhaps you will reconsider as a member of the inquisition
he turns the the servitor i should say turns looks at you we will talk to the captain alone
i'm afraid that i must insist on having my retinue with me madam
especially if i am to be undertaking any sort of pursuit for any sort of data crypt tech crypt
stasis pod i will require a competent explorator or engine seer to be able to iterate to me
the nuances of technolingua that i might otherwise miss
okay have them walk into the null field over there for like 10 seconds so i can talk to you
all right go stand in that null field over there for like 10 seconds okay
i'll count all of you bruce goes over there and he takes one of his hands and he starts poking
at a finger he goes one two wait a minute
you're gonna be in there for like minutes now excellent
three oh oh i didn't call okay that one wrong okay you're going you know what comes up to three
whoa yeah and if anyone like a loysters gets upset and tries to leave like russ's hand
bats him back like stay in there stay in there all right um alden you you approach
you're a rogue trader that is correct are you a cool rogue trader
yes
yes question mark good i do not want the inquisition to know about this your friend is with the inquisition
i i it's it's it's it could be a thing what all right well tell me about it and i promise i'll uh
do my best to keep it away from prying eyes i don't know what it is i've been programmed
not to be able to speak what it is i was reprogrammed uh you would know captain that
this is the fabricator general of a forge world like if if that's happened this is probably a big deal
you you you have been barred who who has done this they're not cool people
uh bummer that
uh i see all right so what can you tell me that you can't tell the inquisition
there's like a pause they do not understand what it is they believe it would be dangerous it may be
dangerous but if they find out they might perform one of their purges on this planet and with everything
going on that cannot be allowed to happen it would be inefficient
yes being purged does tend to bring certain inefficiencies
yes so if you can retrieve the stasis
this casket for me then i will provide you all the cogitators you need
and i shall as is organically known sweeten the deal i will provide you with shells for a bombardment
oh
i scanned your vessel and noted it was not capable of firing seems sad for a rogue trader all right
i will fix that my broad sides can function it is the bombardment oh for the heaven's sake why am i
arguing with you all right all right well i'll keep this in mind if you can get me any information as
to perhaps where this stasis crypt was last seen or anything to begin our search i shall begin searching
for it post haste
all right i will provide you details of where the tech crypt is and you like can hand out like a data
slate and then the downloaded info does it just say done oh lol no no no no it gives you a location
here okay okay okay but do not tell your adept how serious this is
i will do all i can to keep him unelucidated just know that i can't always control him
understood all right you may return and gather your your allies
okay companions oh well i'll probably have to go get them i'll go to the null field uh what's the
situation like in there yeah so as you're approaching the null field though the servitor
explodes behind you as soon as you walk several feet away all right i look behind me all right served it
it's exploded it's not cool you lifted the explosion man yeah i know did uh did you do that no how could i
have done no i didn't do anything okay i got the dish mini he holds up four fingers hey that's four more
than last time good job bud i like pat his shoulder
yeah captain i mean usually when like
shit starts going wrong and there are explosions and things i kind of just assume that it was one of
our faults and move on well fortunately we are at the moment completely devoid of fault or blame
we will however need to find a certain
stasis pod somewhere on this planet we don't know where it is and we don't know who took it
what's inside it we also do not know lucky us so they don't know what's inside it they don't know
where it is or who took it but they want it that is exceptionally and extraordinarily correct
yeah that's that sounds about right for a substandard forge world okay where are we going
we are going to this location and i will um i will i will divvy us out to where we have been directed
to on the data path okay so the directions lead into the city proper so this is where you are going
to be forced to do your best to blend in with the unwashed masses of tech adops and manufacturer workers
um you you find your yourselves in the um various production forges here uh there's sensor smoke and
you can see um scorpius hovercraft hovering around making deliveries of troops or goods
uh up above flights of servo skulls and wing taraxes are you know give give the impression that this
place is under constant surveillance
you you eventually find the structure um of the tech crypt it's it's nestled between two of these
larger buildings smaller by comparison um there are um there are several people of people or machines
around here a battle maniple of skitari rangers that patrol around with rifles at the ready
whatever they whatever they seem to be manufacturing here or housing seems to be of quite
quite a great deal of importance i would i would hazard a kiss to say it would be quite dangerous as well
but they're just bruising cogitators it simply cannot be only cogitators
kerana yeah you happen to have a good insight into individuals and their character no doubt on the
count of your alien powers
what can you tell me about the hub and bump of this place
i can't tell if everyone here is paranoid or simply well prepared
well i'm not used to uh
all of these techy folks with half their faces covered in such let me let me get a look around
by all means um
well my insight is terrible oh perfect
no no this is better yeah
all right captain i got this don't you even worry about it
what's your all there i rolled a three uh which is zero successes and one failure uh on my insight
test which has one die because i have a fellowship of one i want you to just like look up look down
they're robots yeah looks up looks down kind of all right captain i got i got a diagnosis for you
yes yes by all means what is it they are one robots
two kind of stinky
you know all these unwashed masses it's got a bit of a bit of a tang to it
oh no that's stupid and i'm going to now ignore kelrana uh and i'm going to head to elysis as we
continue to weave through all of the skitari and the the winged horrors that are also skitari
i could check for warp and all right he's gone elysis yes captain
what do you know about this particular forge world
what do i know captain well yes if anyone would have an idea of any of these
cultural markers or um smaller things that uh people less familiar with the ins and outs of the
cult mechanics would miss out on it'd be you
it is true i tend to keep up to on the up and up of most of the well-to-do forge worlds of the galaxy
but this one in particular thurston i'd like to make a check to determine how much i know about
this forge world um yeah sure uh can i give you scholar for this one um
yeah scholar looks like give me a good check here for sure okay uh what's the dn for that
let's go difficulty four okay
rolling
and six successes okay so that's enough uh for you to know abacris is a forge of approximately 10
billion people it's normally like a lifeless tundra um it's planetary governor was a princeps who is
presumed to be deceased now uh so thus it is under uh exekra vakul is a self-proclaimed regent
um the sunspire priesthood that she represents holds the functional um leverage on the planet
it's not a tithing planet um but it's also a planet with a lot of mineral wealth and
bad weather which is mostly nullified by a lot of the the mechanical setups here um
it is very divided based into casts there is a there there is a titan legion the uh legio korthos
that is on the planet except all of the titans are currently deployed so
the planet is mostly just the remaining secutari uh which form still powerful faction along with
fulgurites forming a faction it's it's a very faction driven um area
well captain this forge in particular happens to be a fairly mid-sized planet population is roughly 10
billion although most of the planet is just a series of various forges dedicated to any number of tasks
there was a regent at one point in time presumed deceased but not confirmed
vakul is the self-proclaimed regent her sunspire priesthood i believe is the ruling body on the
planet with her as the figurehead by her own right at the top they don't tithe they do have a titan
legion most of which are currently on duty or deployed to active war zones however their hoplites
and folgerites remain it seems based upon my databanks that they have a fairly robust cast system
most of these areas will have some sort of leadership among them and are going to be very heavily
dominated by any particular force organization within the mechanicum this may be one particularly
lush with scatari and taraxi
i unfortunately have little more knowledge at this point in time beyond substandard information
keeping that or they are willfully omitting what the importance of whatever artifacts they've seemingly
lost
yes i believe once we get our hands on that data casket all will be made more apparent i get the feeling
these are a paranoid lot we tend to be a bit on the cautious side captain knowledge is power information a
weapon we guard and wield that with caution lest the ever ambitious inquisitor planetary governor tap into
some great weapon array a warp beacon or something some vizier has whispered venom in their ear about and
poisoned their ambitions leading to a full-scale invasion of the ruinous variety
or the tyranids may just eat their planet these things have happened before point being
you regular people cannot really be trusted with the kind of information that we harbor
we also can't be trusted go figure but we're pretty smart about it
well that was almost coherent i thank you that was actually quite useful
i strive to be everything but mostly that all right so
um what awaits us at the location well as i mentioned there are there are still these
scatari rangers who are locking down sort of the the outer area of the building you haven't
approached them yet you've just sort of seen the the building from afar so as you approach you can
see that they are patrolling um aliasis you would have enough to know that one of them is an alpha
uh the leader who wields a taser goad at their side and has an arc pistol
oh yes uh captain that alpha they're not going to talk to me because they probably distrust me
that one right there you can recognize by his lesser regalia and the goad that is a scatari alpha
that one may have the information or at least the tactical know-how to direct your inquiries ah most
excellent
scatari rangers
fail turn i am captain olden rosh of the bird of paradise i've been given urgent instruction by your
arch makers dominus in order to investigate the current whereabouts of the stasis crypt that was previously
here what can you tell me about this robbery the alpha takes a few steps forward
greetings i am alpha tango mike
mike all right yeah no he's a cash register he's an atm thank you shut up
all right uh good good session everyone yeah we had bye bye show me your credentials
um i will uh well i don't exactly keep my warrant of trade on me um
there's like shitty copies of it that you like uh you could you could try to um make a leadership or
influence test um to influence this to prove your point well i would be quite a foolish man to come
to you claiming to be the captain of the conquest class star galleon the bird of paradise and not be
able to back that up now wouldn't i and i'd like to make a leadership test uh yeah number three four
four you got it
that's seven successes with one ship possible
you are correct that would be very dumb you must be who you say you are yes
not to self get credentials to you you also have an ogren they are signs of power
yes they are is that all you need to be seen as a rogue trader these days and ogren and a nice hat
i'm an accessory piece yes you are big man
okay so the the alpha begins directing you i'll take you into the tech crypt
please do follow me there are things in here you will find brain jars please do not touch them
um whose uh brains are in the jars people's that's great a bunch of future rama presidents just
you just hear finally so much
people's brains as opposed to what you can you can see as as you're walking down the hall that
body bags are being stacked in various sections
who's why are there body bags everywhere because we were attacked they took the stasis casket and killed
many can i examine the body actually wait why am i doing that aloysius examine those bodies
okay i was speaking i forgot i was told to shut up i forgot to not shut up
i was told to shut up so i muted myself oh my god
right away captain and aloysius will zip over to
one of the uh scatari units sipping up body bags and just go excuse me for a moment
all right they pull back
all right they pull back
aloysius will kneel down unzip the body bag and look inside and what are the goodies
give me uh give me give me a medicaid uh test difficulty three
oh um you can see that the bodies are pallid with somewhat charred remains
that's six successes oh damn look at you okay so as you you analyze them you can tell that they were
killed by massive absorption of bioelectricity
um you know because you have the adeptus mechanicus keyword
um that the electro leech staves of the fulgirite electro priests operate on some similar principles
i see
adepts thank you you may continue your work
pushing the bodies rolling the bodies the holy canticle of body removal
oh wait as you sing and dance and do your funny little business
i must ask how long has this thing been gone
only two days only two days eh we are still collecting bodies many of them ended up in
strange areas how strange one of them was up on the ceiling
up on the ceiling yeah got thrown there do you have any
vid feed from when this all occurred i do oh can i see it of course
us and then like like a bionic enhancement on the the tecthral's head begins to to stutter to life
and the the light that is there the glass light that's turned off turns to a green and then there is
a red and an error message deleted
there was the video to your satisfaction
it was deleted
no that can't be right i'll play it again
same thing happens it goes red
deleted
okay was it better that time no it was also deleted
no that can't be right i'm going to try it again
same thing and does the off switch and then on switch again
try again what where am i who are you what is this place
you're free now what is my programming you can go that way you're free i shall go that way
no wait no roost we needed him
and he was never seen again he just kept he spent the rest of his life walking that way
because it was the only instruction he was ever given and no one noticed him ever again
he's just walking through like a big trench of magma
yeah
fucking 10 000 years later he's still walking
that's he's like that uh dr seuss book of like those guys who just wouldn't refuse to go another
direction only go one line
god who gives you the authority to program a servant of the omnisiah
i didn't program nothing so i guess you did you told him to walk
there are several rides you have to do when they get back to her
well there's several billion of them i'm sure they'll promote somebody from within
so captain now that our one lead in this area has
walked off to parts unknown is likely going to only operate on that logic
it appears that whoever was behind the assault on this forge was one of their own kind
what makes you say that well the scarring and charring on these bodies is reminiscent
the energies of the corpuscari fulgerites uh they're electro priests of their order
their bioelectric currents leave a similar energy signature and residue when they are scouring and
damning the agents and augurs of the enemies of the omnisiah and the battlefield but in this case
it appears to be yet another example of internecine conflict within the wider mechanicum
again that whole thing about people being trusted with knowledge and how we are also
sort of more trustworthy yeah we do this too this is just kind of bar for the course
uh lesser forges do anyway so we're here solving a civil dispute something like that with inter
mechanicum conflicts it couldn't be well it could be heretics xenorites or it could be as simple as
two megai disagreeing upon the solution to a simple problem one of them gets a little bit rowdy and
soon you have a small-scale civil war these things do happen i see and all of the corpses have this
same marking they've all been marked by electricity well i haven't checked every single corpse but at
least that one did well see if you can check a plurality of them and see uh what their state is
you don't have to be as thorough it'll do and loisus will gesture with his hands his two little servo
skulls will pop off his uh chest plate you two go survey whatever bodies are still being zipped up
report back i'll pick over a couple dozen dozen dozen myself i'll be back captain this may take a while
understandable
and we're just gonna walk off
okay so as you walk off what are the rest of you doing uh i'm playing patty gig with bruce
where'd you get
patty gig
or improve man
she knows when you can
except me right oh absolutely you're one of my favorites all right all right yeah
can you can you two at least pretend to do something useful or you don't need to do sir
no i don't know see if you can uncover some mysterious clue about where this stasis crypt
went or perhaps how it's being stored okay he turns around and starts walking he gmod like
like in half-life 2 walks through several crates
uh i like to roll
uh like to to bullshit my way through this i would like to start lifting things and like looking under
them uh and use my athletics to help look around moving things to the side and be like hmm is there
a clue behind here nope you know put that down
all right otherwise my awareness is one
so i'm trying to convince to use my athletics in somewhere else the last time you bullshitted
something it really ended well for us so yeah sure i'll allow it okay difficulty four awesome
all right here we go
okay no complication and i failed uh i'm gonna wrath it they're heavy boxes they're really heavy
boxes i'm really excited to see how we fail up or more likely fail down i succeeded with a five
okay perfect um you you begin moving boxes and as as you do um ruse there's not much behind the
boxes except as you do a data slate uh tumbles to the ground you don't really notice it but but
the rest of your companions notice this data slate that was lodged between two of the um like two of
the boxes that you're moving trying to find clues hey i see something oh she like swings a crate around
where i like duck under it there's a data slate you good job bud see ruse is helping more than anyone
you really gotta pick up the slack captain i'm helping i'll get you i know you will
i'll pick up the data slate
yeah uh yeah you can take a look at it it it appears to have personnel data it's like a shift report
shift report it also has like body informations and like body information and tech tags so it's like
who would have been on shift at the time hmm hey we could at least uh know who was here when the thing
was stolen do we know like the timeline when it went missing all we know is that it happened but a
few days ago outside of that not much this could provide a substantial boon um
what what what all does this document say it it has information on like the personnel who were here
like the different tech atoms who were here as well as uh information on their electu tattoo codes
so everyone on this forge world has their own specialty electu tattoo that allows you to sort of
track their whereabouts from what they've been doing all right um looking at the dead bodies
is it possible to trace one of their electu codes directly to this manifest yeah absolutely you
it doesn't take you long you you play like the worst game of match two and find like this horrible
corpse that you're like oh that that like mecha dendrite matches this person and you can line
them up okay so basically one-to-one uh we can if we spend like you know a good little bit of time
doing this we can find uh most of all these dead bodies has a uh corresponding bit in the uh in the
manifest is that right yeah yeah it sounds like something though that you'd i don't know like it
it seems a very menial job that you'd want to assign yes i completely agree uh but i can't trust
it to roots because he doesn't know how to read uh kill ron uh nope nope i'm too racist to do that
uh but eloysis is doing something more important well eloysis eloysis right now is checking the
bodies right like yeah i i guess we can have eloysis look through it once he's done he just add to his
workload yeah also while you're doing this please check this out too eloysis you wouldn't mind also
checking this and this out now wouldn't you sure captain why not and while i'm at it would you like
a foot massage would you like me to write some prose of how great a captain you are
why eloysis yes thank you i'll fucking get you i know i will i i'm waiting for it release me
i like that this this campaign has become speaker's personal l like good
very bad day speaker as i have learned in my time being a rogue trader i put my
big hand on your shoulder heavy are the hips that wear the ass that is true
i'm kind of glad i'm an ogren so if anytime there's like any like investigation or puzzles or
anything else i just get to go like i'm just gonna play you sounds of the soundboard as they do stuff
exactly exactly i gotta do your dailies i'm just rocking my recliner right now i'm like oh hell yeah
i'm sorry zoran no no this isn't me complaining this is me just gonna like they get to play now
jesus christ he's mad with power get him chat get him oh shit okay okay amazing um all right so yeah
eloysis um you can go through um it's gonna take you several hours to go through this
yes absolutely can i perhaps make a medicaid check to expedite at least
the body searching process to lessen yeah difficulty six yeah difficulty six i will assist
because i also have medicaid i don't need it because i'm
fucking real eight successes holy shit he's real he's real as hell that that pep talk from the captain
really really helped you like knowing that the captain is suffering as i am is enough for eloysis
to do his damn job you know our lives really went downhill ever since we met those orcs maybe we should
just kill them all that's what i'm trying to do captain but you need to let me work you have to let me cook
all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right i will let you cook thank
you sister so real absolutely slay orcs i mean yes slay indiscriminately orcs orcs
orcs orcs orcs orcs the combi goes off
oh
and then we all wake up unconscious an hour later
is this your fever dream speaker is awesome this is like oh speakers suffering speakers
at hell it's like no no no no no no no i get the opportunity of playing a guy losing his
shit it's funny yes all right um so aloysius you are able to um expertly catalog um going through
this um and as you do you do find that after everything is said and done everything is
catalogued there is one person missing
there is a tech adept by the name of biran amiga who was assigned to keep the stasis coffin
operational chief animator amiga
where might you captain yes the tabulation is complete however we are missing one notable
personnel oh yes who a tech adept by the name of biran amiga the chief animator responsible for
maintaining and guarding the stasis script along with it is also missing whether or not this one
has absconded with the stasis script or it was taken as collateral to presumably keep it operational or to
crack it open is beyond us but i would go out on a limb and say wherever the crypt is we will likely
find amiga and vice versa i see very good very good an excellent catch all right we need to find this
this woman and we need to ascertain the location what was their role you said enemy uh god i must call
the animatrix the chief animatrix which yes no it has to be it has to be because that's 40k naming conventions
it's absolutely the animatrix yeah but it's not capitalized because that's copyrighted yeah true
yeah yes uh chief animatrix biran amiga yes i'm reading in a personnel file that she became as
scutari shortly after breaking a speed limit that you know that was one of the better ones yeah
yes and then and then there was another one where there was a bunch of they sawed that guy open
and they peeled him apart and he was in that tin can it was great i love the movie
it appears she was a veteran of the second revolution on the planet as well
revolution
old memories surface get out of here tan hauser you don't exist anymore
all right so was she a technomat what her exact rank the that seems like a job of magos might have
but then again i don't exactly understand your ranking structure
uh she was a tech adept captain tech adept very good all right so we need to find our missing tech
adept where were her quarters
let's see yeah are you able to pull that information
um so you know that those elect two tattoos um you would need to before you could find this person
you'd need to access the city's surveillance network
this would require either a lawful way of doing it which would be an influence test
or the unlawful way which would be a tech test
hmm
well there's why did i vote crimes go ahead go ahead and speak here
mm-hmm go on let's try to see what my influence
is looking like how was how does one make an influence test
ah so influence is a special stat um it's not a normal test so
i believe on your character sheets it will be under gear
here i see here metal gear influence test huh
what's your influence guys sound off oh well uh you're gonna you're gonna win
i have a dice pool of four for it it seems
influence influence my influence is zero because i am an ogren
mm-hmm that makes sense
cry no
aloysons
uh
i where's influence uh go into gear top left and if you click on influence it'll show
you what your dice pool is two well you know what's really funny yeah my dice pool
is also two which means the most influential person on this forge world
run by the imperium of man suborganization the adeptus mechanicus
oh man is the eldar
so so influence though this is what will fuck the eldar okay for every keyword you share beyond the
first you gain a bonus dice on the influence test
yep
yeah i cap out at four because uh unless uh we got any secret eldar you can also spend wealth to add
success icons each point of wealth you spend adds one additional success
um i have zero wealth
i'm broke
i'm not the broke trader
i can't even afford bullets for your shit man how the fuck else you think you're
broke bitch
and you really should read that again
listen
you should you should have paid for zedek's course dude you're balling on a budget it was
on a discount
all right everyone i'm going to show you why olden rosh
has a better vessel than zedek even without guns all right now how do i measure things okay
bro shader more more like bro
this ray represents a sword class all right you see that everyone see the sword class that is what a
sword class length is very good are you are you are you ship measuring this is
contrast the conquest class would be in strange feelings someone's trying to engage in a ship
measuring contest with me
and you see each each rung here would be one of the batteries that i need to get
rebuild and it's very expensive please don't yell at me hey person how do i delete this
you don't
also i'm just like i'm imagining like that that like oh god that like that dick-sized
thing from south park where randy is like it's actually girth by this by this and it's all the
different like ways you can measure and that's what you're doing with your ship it's it's not just
the length guys it's the girth of the ship that matters oh god i'm just saying about the gothic i
got eight hole points and you only got one
it's true there it is there it is so thurston comment down below if you think that's a soundboard
the answer is no for every i've seen him do it in person it's really scary yeah every keyword beyond
the first is that the first keyword that you need to trigger or just the fact like the first keyword
you have attached to your character sheet oh oh oh okay so it's it's so you will tell me the keywords
you have in your your character sheet so for example you will all share imperium um
even um except for you you're you're you're funny but if you have um additional ones so for example
you would have two because you would have adeptus mechanicus and imperium so you get an extra dice so
your influence would be one higher which would i i guess you just didn't enter influence or you
don't have influence which makes no sense but sure uh so you would get one on the check so really the
captain is your best bet is it just one is just because i have adeptus mechanicus because i have five
oh you do okay sorry it's not on your sheet i can't see it on your sheet really oh what the hell hold on
unless it's like a scaling thing or bar thing anyways if you have five then yeah you'd actually get
like six on the check oh which would make sense for you yeah because you get one extra dice because
you share adeptus mechanicus in addition to imperium yeah yeah does anybody else have more than six with
that in mind nope nope uh unless any of them are psykers but that would only bring me to five
no they are they are they are they are not the psykers
okay gonna are we gonna have a loises are you gonna do lawful or unlawful
thurston i am a loises is a law-abiding rules as written member of the mechanicum in the
inquisition of course he's going to do unlawful okay so yeah then then you don't make it all
pointless yeah all this discussion was pointless it was just a ship measuring contest come on
that's all it was it's true it's true give me your difficulty seven tech check then oh difficulty
seven tech check oh yeah well we got some glory and we we got we got we got some things you know
what thirst him as far as unlawful means
is this like a this could trigger ramifications but i can't tell you smiles unlawful or
like a fuck it we ball kind of unlawful i i i might remember this that being said
i have a bunch of templates on the background deleting these templates
they were for their dick measuring dick measuring whoa who's bringing nix into what i'm just talking
all right are you kidding me zenith gets laid way more often than alden no he doesn't yeah
he doesn't yeah well you know maybe you're right you'll you'll look at that sad wet cat man and
tell me no matter how much money he gets he's getting action i you know what i believe it because
he would seek it out and alden is too married to the job i believe in zedek i think zedek can do anything
yeah zedek zedek is the rizzler he he's like he's got he didn't did he rizz anybody during the campaign i
i don't even remember him doing that he's got fail boy rizz all he's written he rizzed the whole
audience hulky
yeah comment i bet your cat has more sex than mine does
thank you jerse thank you jerse it's the honest facts it's the honest facts alden is looking for
that master and commander type relationship all right but but but but good old zedek he's a playboy
he he he would i'm done with this conversation now
thurston what's the dn for the influence
mom pick me up i'm scared
right now immediately they're talking about my sex character again
oh sorry i don't want to talk about him i wasn't thinking please forgive me i'll never forgive
you you talk you talked about my sacred cow i'll kill you no okay what's the dm thurston difficulty
five oh okay uh do i have any money i love i love the evolution of this it's great
that last session just broke our brains too much like we're doing yeah i think we're i think i have
zero well so we're just we're gonna we're gonna rock this one let's go you give us breath we're good
not bad actually i'm crazy six successes hulky jesus
i hope we don't get into combat this session because i am rolling all ones
all right hulky you managed to to request from one of those qatari uh the the atm uh who grants you
access to the surveillance network as you use your influence and abilities and connections to
pull up this information and what you find is some information on baron amiga first of all you can
tell doing an immediate data analysis on this uh baron amiga hasn't visited uh their homer work since the attack
um they've used adept credentials to reserve transportation capacity in the strono space elevator
destined for the delta sig novum orbital platform there are two reservations that have been made there
one left yesterday the other leaves tomorrow
i see we will have to make sure we beat them there an excellent catch aloysius
thank you captain
i would believe based upon the information we've received that amiga would be upon that elevator
so if we can prepare for a rendezvous sometime in the next 12 orbital cycle
we should be able to head them off keyword should they've already made the slip with a stasis crypt
they may have covered their tracks already yes that does warrant some concern
but more than likely they expected no one to be so thorough as to investigate this closely
or at the very least they're banking on them not having left such a mess in their wake regardless
tomorrow that shall be our goal in the meantime
what can we learn about the politics of the local electro priests
well as far as how they operate they i can tell you that they are living conduits of the motive
force i think of it as electricity but the breathing and sieve of omniscient might the machine
god's life current part of the trinity flowing through all things mechanical
hey just imagine as you're saying this it cuts to roost with like the equations like floating in the air
they steadily get less complex until he lands on when is lunch
i'm hungry so
picks out a piece of corn he's been saving yeah happy
oh no no no wait no no no it categorically has to still be good that was rations for the entire
ship during our entire stay here it can't all be bad if it's i mean unprocessed corn well maybe i don't
know it can't be easy you've never had to preserve corn pretty pretty well like that's true corn can
definitely last oh no you never did ask what that boy wanted for sanguinola though maybe it was gonna
be food food please well we already got that little fucking 25 year old boy go away i was hoping he was
gonna be like 32. i know i mean close enough it might as well be no don't but never mind don't
say that to me i don't want to be old embrace it hokey embrace it yeah are we going on our 30s at this
point i'm not quiet ah almost not quiet just you old man just you the future is now i push push you
into the lake don't don't worry don't worry zarin i'm the old man here i mean i'm not that i'm not
that much younger than you so we're i know yeah we're both older oldies for a lot we both got great
yeah guys you guys are beat boop we're trying to figure out the depth is back
let's change love warhammer are you are you sure you don't want to talk more about like age and like
dying jesus christ
this is why i'm not the streamer guys this is why it's zoran's channel let's continue with the
fun role play i was okay i was i was seriously waiting for you to be like but if i did start a
channel mine will probably last a few more years yeah i'll leave my channel for you my will so you
can enjoy it for a few more years that's really kind of you i really do appreciate it uh yeah for
all good that channel is anyway no no no no no no watch me complain about taxes at twitch.tv
forward slash zone the wizard it's true you can go oh god i'm so sorry and ask me anything that you
want over there honestly that's the best way to learn about anything just visit me when i'm streaming
go like i have a question about rock right i'll just tell you everything just come visit it's true
it's the best way to best way to just literally come ask us anything
it looks on your channel super popular when i still stranded wait i know man it goes up and down
one day it's at 800 other days it's 100. i don't know what's going up
anyway the algorithm is a fickle beast before i get angry we're talking about beats and boots
but yes they they are yet another facet of the priesthood but not quite in the same way that
a amagos or belgenitor dominas not in quite the same way they are
uh priests more analogous to the ministorum per se they speak in our living conduits for their own
interpretation of the motive force but not of the same sway as say a magi
however i'm not too versed in why they are quarreling with each other here on
abacus i'd have to pick a little bit further through their data maybe put a few daemons out into
the nosphere pull some data i could probably find out giving me enough time maybe you look inside your
head database bit more specific
ruse i looked at you you know what ruse that's a great idea you're very smart i'm glad you're learning
these things let me do that and aloysius will just stand there bob his head back and forth
beep boop boop beep boop beep boop beep boop ah yes i can see here in my own databanks that i
have approximate knowledge on both jack and shit on their own priesthood so i will need to go diving
into the nosphere for this one wait hold on you don't have a head database do you
i mean i i have my brain my cogitation units my uplink well hold on a second well okay fine access it
right now then i i that's what i'm doing captain i don't have anything on this particular priesthood
yes well access it do it no just do it again just real quick for me yeah connect connect via bluetooth
to the fucking data
connect to the demo mechanics wi-fi so you can search who's here
fine sure thurston i would like to access the nosphere i'm good i want to make a tech check
what do i need okay okay okay okay give me a tech check just difficulty
three okay it'd be really funny with a dice pool of nine if i failed okay unfortunately none such six
successes okay okay okay i uh i'm posting the password that you get access to the news sphere within chat
um i'll uh there there it is i posted it in the chat there you go excellent
you have access with that password all right beep boop bop beep bop beep bop
i'm gonna read it next let's google that a little bit you have to google yeah it's a good
it's a good thank you that's that that's a strong password
is it one two three four wouldn't you wouldn't you like to know corn boy
oh he's dead brutal brutal come on you don't have to do him like that bruce cries a little bit
i think me too i was just strong to help
bugger you made the ogren cry
i just wanted to know if you needed to make the beep boop bop beep noises and
actually you it turns out you did that's a necessary component
it's it's not it's not even the litany of connection well that's what you were doing
you were going beep boop bop beep boop bop yes i was me i was making noises with my
vocalization unit which is my mouth and my larynx that's not possible captain
i'm about to blow your mind all right you know you also have a vocation unit hold on hold on let
me try can i try yes all right everyone stand back i don't want to hurt you first gets behind a crate
beep boop bop beep oh my god oh keep doing that captain i can see the lines of code flowing into your
brain oh beep boop bop bop bop oh yes yes all that binary data oh my goodness this beautiful melody of
binary flowing into you raise the omnisire yes you're seeing that now let me cut out part of your brain
oh right what
you know what i'm this far in all right we're so back we're so back everybody man they've already
left with that that that fucking coffin haven't they oh they're like they're like in the next system
let's just find out about uh at the tech priest and stuff well with the beeps and the boobs can't
forget the boobs you were able to find out baron amiga um appears to have had no life whatsoever
he filled a requisition order to install a hydration unit at his workstation so he could
attend the coffin longer without refreshment breaks he entirely dedicated himself to keeping
the coffin safe damn there's an entry in here he's got a steam deck so he didn't have to leave he's a
tier four sub to a vtuber it's always there what the hell is cultist shot i'm not familiar with this
phrase oh my god you should shoot anyone that tells you about that it's okay i have permission
to do this i have this card that tells me i can know anything that i want oh i take a look at the
card i'm very impressed it literally says this man can do whatever he wants smile oh the font oh it's
perfect eight that's a watermark mine isn't perfect dear god it's so tasteful
tasteful thickness of it oh my god
aloysius what's the matter you you look shocked
well based upon the information i have gleaned from prying into the nose sphere
oh oh my god i i thought you were i i thought you were doing a bit so i shut the hell up i i i
passed the football to you i i gave you your paul ellen shock moment because you just got
fucking wasted by my i did this card my my maybe my mic didn't pick up me going oh my god it even
has a watermark oh did i pick up that i passed the football back to you i didn't hear anything else
i thought we were done i thought we were done with the pit guys i can't i can't keep working with these
unprofessional streamers that will come i'm sorry i need to go and do six hail marys and pray to god
after this session what happens next i have a suggestion you need to buy more white speaker i have
a suggestion yeah you know you know what's something you could work with what the choice
white knight which you can help us buy that's right so speaker has someone to game with
finally i can gaming with what information did we get
zora zord is now i've been trying to get us back on track like five times now and someone keeps
blowing up the rail
look i told you this guy had no literally i said this guy had no life the only requisitions and changes in
his life were to make sure that he could spend more time closer to the coffin and and then you
made the tear for some joke and we fucking went off the rails all right it's my fault that time i
understand that's right anyway so yeah that's what you've learned about this person but they were
not among the dead do they record it as having any particular friends or just the box
they made they made they made a fucking facebook account for the coffin that is their only friend
oh no the unfriended tom on myspace only just to have the box
just the coffin
that's the saddest shit i ever heard in my life
are we sure this is a coffin are we sure this isn't an anime girl body pillow we don't know well we
don't know and that's what's scary okay okay okay um you do you do have some reports that okay this is
the final thing there are some reports that were made by other staff members about amiga which indicate
amiga was reported to talk to the coffin a lot oh no
amiga seems to be an odd fellow they're a workaholic
they devoted so much of their time to simply guarding the coffin
they went to lengths that they would never leave its presence and apparently were reported to
to converse with the coffin frequently
something about this rouses in me some and please by all means correct me if i'm paranoid
a manner of suspicion of the nature of the stasis crypt
nah that's crazy it's got to be someone else
well i suppose i was sworn to what the hell you're gonna see the damn thing
you should know that the and i'll lean in are we being followed by anything
not that you can see um kelrana can you make sure that we are alone
yeah yeah i can roll my investigation which actually is not all that bad why are you talking
about rolling i don't understand i thought it was just this bit sucks do the thing bruce
holy shit with a bus poor odo um i was talking to me okay difficulty seven seven yes
uh investigation or awareness um investigation if you're looking for bugs or anything like that
all right well i don't have seven dice so boom baby never mind
did you get there what what happened what my rolls i i rolled okay i had four dice for investigation
it was a difficulty of seven i rolled a five and three sixes
note that this is the session with no combat so it's just like we're just we're just rolling up
every skill i'm just thirsty i'm drinking in the moment this is the only good roll i'm ever gonna get
that's true enjoy this we're back to rock grind in a few weeks and i hope you like being in your ass again
all right um you do an investigation around here and with a crit you're also able to detect um that
there are several uh decorative skulls that are actually servo skulls that are actively watching
everything you're doing in here i'm gonna lean into both the captain and aloysa so i'm gonna point
at each one of them in turn that one that one that one that one and that one and that one and that one
are watching us so we're being followed more or less i don't see any like servo skulls floating
after us like actively following it's just the ones mounted on the wall are watching us yeah though you
do see a couple as you as you concentrate you see a couple that do kind of patrol through halls and
whatnot but their their patterns are very irregular almost like they're coming in at almost
um set set set times to check in on you but not regular in a way for moving around the building
uh we got the ones on the walls watching us regular style and then the ones that are sort of trying to
pretend that they're patrolling but they're just kind of peeking in every so often to make sure that
we're you know doing what we're supposed to top shelf all right so i suggest we probably try and find
somewhere quiet outside i don't exactly know if there's
anywhere not monitored by all of your techy bullshit uh loisis
yes i'm afraid i have more tasks for you do you now do we perhaps need less prying eyes
it's more that i want to know which eyes are prying
let me see what i can do thank you very much thurston
i'd like to make a tech check to try and tap into these servo skulls yeah yeah difficulty is gonna
also be seven again okay okay this one might be difficult let's see what happens it's a bit of a
tricky tricky widget and no just just yeah just whatever all right all right everyone kicks so much
jazz why are we rolling so well today what happened our ill fortune is coming it might be
depression speaking but i know that we're gonna roll bad very soon the universe has a funny cosmic
balance it knows it knows it knows it knows it knows there's another gaming group right now that's
just crying they're just like why why did i roll three ones and a two somewhere and sometime there is a
party that is just tpk'd exactly and that makes me feel really happy because it's not my party yeah
correct yeah that's true probably maybe not yet hopefully possibly all right um yeah so loisis you're
able to to perform your analysis as you do you can tell that these are predominantly um the arch
dominus's equipment though there are some that appear to link to outside new spheric networks you can't
tell which ones they are sadly but it's enough for you to know that there's some in here the vast
majority of there some of some of them though are obviously like spying implements from other institutions
most of our passive observers are the dominors however it would appear we have other parties
interested in our goings-on as well possibly our missing tech adept could be somebody outside the
network as well then it would be no way to really tell unless i find a way to backtrace their signatures
uh could never be easy can it well it rarely ever is but no good work comes without some measure of
sacrifice hmm but i say we proceed for now uh continue on let's see perhaps oh goodness gracious
um remind me again the electro priest that turned out to be a false lead there isn't anything
weird going on with them here you haven't you haven't checked in on it you just know that the the
wounds were caused by electro priest weapons um you you can go to their temple that is that is a very
valid option why don't we pay a visit to the electro priest temple before we go on to our funny little
uh escalator ride that sounds like a great idea captain
um where's excellent then away we go
go
yeah
okay um yeah so you make your way
to
the the home of the fulgurite electro priests on
or well the electro priests um here in malaxia it is it is an area that you make your way towards
um though you will have to hitch a lift there on a cargo ship it's not like a cargo run to the temple
it's not really the most luxurious of transportation but it does the trick you might be able to get
something more austere but it would require some influence checks to make
yes i absolutely am not going to tolerate us flying around in a giant cargo ship thank you very
much i'll make a check all right cool the difficulty is five all right awesome uh do any
of these guys share my keywords of imperium road trader or the rosh road trader dynasty
they do not all right i've not even imperium imperium they do but having one just lets you
um make the check oh i see all right well i need five successes on two dice pool how bad could it
possibly be yeah you're fine that's that's three successes
guys yep let's turn some glory yeah i'm gonna pump uh i'm gonna pump four glory into this okay
yeah go for it how does this do it do it do it how bad could it possibly be
not bad you get that's five two successes yeah sweet all right so you managed to hitch yourself
on a um on a scorpius dune rider one of the the more uh more more notable adeptus mechanicus
transport vessels that's all those things transporting troops um and you know like you
notice that on the drive like vehicle seems very close to the ground um the the the tech priests
on board who operate it there this qatarian board who operate it very clearly are compensating
for roose's added bulk but it's very low riding with him in in there ah now this is how you transport
things in style not a tank tread in sight
roose looks down and sees it it's floating right yeah he looks down he's like how does it work
well roose the scorpius dune rider works off of ferro magnetism uh something like that i don't i don't
i actually don't fucking remember the lord of the scorpius dune riders i don't actually use them
uh thurston what what i just know this is a tech adept yeah you know that it uses the anti-gravitic
energies um the the prescribed uh mechanical lore that only the uh hoovero priests are aware of
right the hoovero priests yes not to be consumed with the hoovero priests who specialize in the
artifact of the artifact of the artifact of the artifact this sucks this is this
roose it's funny magic it's funny space magic oh okay wait wait a minute
beauty she knows she's magic we don't use magic here well we call it psychic energy
yes because it's technology it's anti-gravity bleeding okay bruce accepts that
he puts down his ripper oh thank god
uh as you um as you get uh closer the the dune rider drops you off however he drops you off at
the temple the temple itself however um has no lighting that's because all the electro priests
here can see in the dark so the only lighting that really is available is the electu tattoos of some of
the some of the cult members here otherwise you will need a light source as you're inside
uh how kosher is it for me to use a little bit of my psychic abilities and no not inside of a temple
okay all right that's when the campaign summons scarbrand
yeah i'm going to go unbound and light a little tiny fire in my hand you think you guys do light well
all right but surely there are some protocols to expect non-blind visitors yes
oh no they they literally don't care about other people coming here it's their temple so here here's
the thing so here's the thing alden
electroplea priests do not see as you or i do with broad spectrum optical perception no they
they view things via the motive force that suffuses all things in creation that is to say that their eyes
in the rapturous glory of seeing the omnisiah's divine work have boiled out of their sockets and they
see electricity they don't actually see anything else
well that sounds relatively inconvenient i mean uh wrath point the narrative to declare that um learning
from our last situation where ruse had to take up a thank you for the light thank you um that he still
has the corpse with the light uh he's been keeping it on a special occasion and uh he just whips out this
skeleton with a backpack light and he goes oh oh i kept it where have you been keeping that
that's what the smell was he looks at you and you're like oh i've just been having it around
nobody has really raised a question of the ogren dragging around a mutilated rotting corpse
it's all skeleton now i like the idea that the ogren just never thought to take the light off of the
corpse yeah yeah so he goes and just turns it on and he's like all right here you go
just lighting our way well that'll do it
all right so you you can enter there are there are electro priests meandering about uh performing
sacred tasks what are you doing like they're they're they're they're scattered about and upper upper
scaffolds and the long arterial hallways this place is of course cyclopean like any proper temple
to the omnisiah hello anyone home
several eyes turn to you
a single priest approaches their bluish tinged skin crackling slightly with electrical energy
their blind eyes staring out
greetings hello there yes i am captain alden rash rogue trader of the bird of paradise
i was hoping okay yes it is okay isn't it i was hoping to see if you could perhaps
answer a few questions of mine for i am quite interested in learning more about the cult mechanicus
i will make a deception check i see could i perhaps make a cunning check are you not attempting to deceive
i will make a deception check i thank you odo thank you odo
i appreciate speaker going for the like this is my better skill and before i could reply i was
like are you doing exactly the thing are you trying to become a tech priest i mean i'm here for this
can i make a weapon skill check to uh uh what's my difficulty number uh so this is not going to
have a difficulty um in that it's opposed by their awareness okay
i'm gonna wrap that sure with three successes and turn those three successes into no extra successes
and a complication let's go excellent and it's a harsh environment oh my god
for us oh my god
we know what it says here changes masonry collapses revealing another path or potential
whoa the terrain becomes difficult flooded or visibility lowers
this is pretty dark after all of this time the battery on the corpse light runs out
oh he like shakes it and the corpse also rattles he's like
oh well i'll go charge it and so roost takes like the power cord and goes off to like a random wall
where the computers i i reduce will do and he just sits there like he's like a a stranded stranger
at an airport waiting for his phone to charge he's just babysitting this light
what is he doing why is he inserted into the holiness of the motive force without
other authorization he's an innocent ogren for goodness sake oh holy
shit he put the usb in the computer now to run in bonzy body
oh this entire forge is fucked if it has bonzy body that's a data demon do you need help printing
no i don't actually i need it with that
oh this email says i love you i should open it no no no no no no no no no oh i just gave every
it person older than 10 years of the industry heart attack uh with my with the hololithic display
on eloysis's plate uh could i extensively increase the luminosity of that enough to give at least a
rudimentary amount of light it won't be very good but at least we can see in front like directly in
front of us i'll let you narratively declare that sure i'll spend a narrative declaration for that one
yeah it's like you're you know when you're too lazy to turn on the the flashlight on your phone so
you just turn the screen brightness up it just grows larger and larger there's just a big projection
of his forge worlds icon above him ah so sorry for the um i thing that just happened um where were we
you had questions what is it you wish to know have you been noticing any particular
difficulties with the other branches of the mechanical always they are all inferior can you tell me why
they're so inferior to your magnificence it begins with the first spark of the motive force which came
about let's do a more a slightly more abridged uh not from the very very beginning
because i've already read on all of that obviously
what do you wish to know specifically
well well i happen to know that several servants of the on the sire have been found dead
with marks reminiscent of the weaponry that you electro priests wield in battle you should talk to the
high luminin ossifer
i will happily do so for i do not mean to accuse your order and simply wish to understand
then i shall send you to the high luminin ossifer come with me i will do so um but before i do so
i'd like to make a little insight check sure uh am i about to be led into an execution chamber or
other kind of trap let's go difficulty three you got it
uh four successes yeah that's enough for you to know uh this isn't like you you're not you're not
able to gather whether this is good or bad because they're like like tech priest type folks who are
really good at hiding you know information however it's enough for you to know that there were like
very clear instructions what to do if someone asked about this
i see all right so there's no negative intent that i'm i'm feeling per se not that you're picking
up on now okay all right i will uh i will follow them okay eventually you are you are led up to a
to an archway where the the high luminin clearly based off of the um sort of side robes and in far
more elaborate electu tattoos they hold in their hand a notable stave that crackles with corpus
and as you come in um and they look at you
my hello welcome to the temple
i am ossifer how may i assist you
yes uh greetings to you ossifer i am rodriga alden rosh bird of paradise
you know me you love me here's the thing i'm here investigating
the recent string of mysterious murders that have occurred of adeptus mechanicus personnel
uh one specifically surrounding a guarded stasis crypt
yes the tech crypt in area four two five nine seven point three axe axe e
my forces went in there and executed several individuals why
we were informed of the location of that tech crypt by members of the legio caruthers
after i researched it i uncovered something horrific
what did you uncover
how much motive force power that crypt required to keep running
it was a tragic waste of electricity
i see and so you took it upon yourself to murder a substantial amount of people for that
yes
well at least she's honest i think i found the killer guys
mystery solved we got her
i see
when i learned of this the secretary placed me in touch with the hardwares a crew of tech gangers
they were the cannon fodder whilst i had two of my priests go to ensure that the stasis device was unpowered
that is very well at least removed from the network where is that stasis crypt now
oh i don't know i just gave it to the hardwares after
but is she telling me the truth 100 you don't even need to make a check she literally cared only
because it was using up electricity she's like she's like the electric company who was like
this house is using a lot of electricity you know games workshop once did this to a guy
who played warhammer age of reckoning and they shut off his power and he had a pacemaker and he died
what what yeah many people are saying this wow isn't that awesome okay all right what an ass
you said you used gangers in the lower levels where are they located
the hardwares you can find them if you go into the underbelly foundry forge
i see how might i arrange a meeting
i do not know i was given information from the legio after that our contact ceased
i did not really need them after we unplugged the device oh but i could show you the reports you can
see how much more efficient the electricity is in that area now
oh i believe it you've done the omni sire's work we have
we can power several lights in several districts for several more hours blessed be blessed to be
i turned all voices all right so we need to go down there like right now
yeah we're wasting time up here this is the kind of pettiness that i mentioned captain
this is very very normal yeah you know i can't even be disgusted by it it's not as if rogue traders
are known for being the most discerning individuals of high character at the very least back when i was
a chartist captain things were more honest more forthright because i was the only one in charge and
no one cared what i did well i suppose autocracy is a fine way to go about it it's a shame that we have
fallen so far away from the omniscience light not all of our mechanical worlds are like this
though woefully many some of us myself included pride ourselves on
actual efficiency and not wasting time over a few scant lumen when there is an entire species at stake
eye turns the fuck did you just say
what do you want to make something
no no no no no no no no no no no no all right let's roll it into two
yeah you want to fucking fight about it you're fucking making fun of my life bulb displacement i'll
cut you i'll cut you so bad oh i'll cut you you wish i'd never cut you
yeah go ahead burn off my skin i'll just replace it with more grass or another
augmentic oh no i'm closer to the omniscien than you ever will be boo-hoo
all right i think we're done beefing yeah this can only be settled one way rap battle
roose lay a beat
Someone has to rap to it.
I notice no one is rapping.
Polish vine, top of the dome,
3-inch cradle implant, plates, chrome,
electric rimes, binary memoirs,
metal scars, my limes,
metallic rails, bars.
Holy shit.
Oh!
Roast break dances.
Dude, that's tight as hell.
That was fucking sick.
That was pretty good.
Yeah, that was great.
I couldn't do that.
I'm not even fucking trying.
I'm not embarrassing myself.
Not as the character has thirsted the human being.
I'm not fucking stepping in that.
Hulky wins.
If this was Rockrind, I'd say have a hero point.
You can give him a wrath.
No, I can't, Odo.
No.
Aww.
That's impossible, Odo-Rush.
Yeah.
All right, so with that,
what are you doing now, y'all?
I guess we're on the road to Viridian City.
Down, down, down in Robitown.
On the road to Viridian City.
What the fuck is that?
So, I guess we need to go and find these gangers then.
Gang.
I think that would make a lot of sense if that was what we chose to do.
Yeah, so, according to her, it's in their hands.
There's no idea what they're doing with it.
So, you think there's a non-zero chance that a friend from the scene of the crime
may have just gone after it because they stole his object of strange affection?
Oh, I don't even know.
I'm just sort of following along at this point.
I'm letting it lead me by the leash until I get enough things to be able to, you know,
never come back to this sector ever again in my entire life.
You say that about every sector, sir.
No, I say that mostly about this one.
I would love to go back to the Ameri-Con sector.
You remember the Ameri-Con sector?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Very lovely there, sir.
It was lovely.
Oh, my goodness.
And they had those lovely little appletinis I liked so much.
Oh, yeah, I wish I was conscious.
It's true.
The captain is very grumpy without his appletinis.
That's correct.
Yeah, fine men of the beverages.
Well, it was a very nice trip that we went on.
Oh, yes.
That one that we did recently?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, no, I still have the button down from that trip.
It was such a nice color.
Oh, yes.
I remember all the things that we did.
Oh, yeah, I got the novelty cup.
Oh, do you remember the luau?
Do you remember the luau on the beach?
Oh, I love the luau.
We got to get out of here.
There's adventures that no one knows because we actually had a good time.
Like, nothing went wrong.
No leadaways, no quests, no nothing.
We just showed up.
Like, we need this.
Like, oh, absolutely.
Actually, we were about to make a shipment to this one other ship.
But since you wrote to your priority, we'll just load it right now.
And I was like, oh, how long was this going to take?
I'll take a couple of days to load on your ship, so you might as well go on fucking vacation
in our beach resort.
I'm like, fuck yeah, dude.
Yeah, the plunge sounds good.
I want the Riza episode starring Roos.
Riza episode.
Here's my sex idol.
Yes!
Thank you!
What was it?
Chimera Han or whatever?
Oh, no.
It's just...
The captain goes to visit Riza's room, and there's just like a fucking mountain of statues
outside it.
You should know it's frugal.
Fuck.
All right, so, do we have some petty criminals to go menace?
I believe we may.
Does anybody have any other places we need to go?
We have to go up or down.
That is our two options, and we have to go up at some point, so let's start by going down.
Flawless logic.
Once you find the seedy forge foundry underbelly, this will require a difficulty five cunning
check.
C-speaker cunning is used for, like, underworld connections.
Ooh, could I convince you to let me make a deception?
All right, difficulty, you said four?
Very good.
Five.
Sorry, I was just...
No, no.
Five, five.
I was just...
I was drinking when you said it, so I was like...
Oh, I thought you said...
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
Sorry.
Well, I will spend my last wrath to re-roll this beautiful cunning test, because I only
got four.
Okay.
Oh!
And another perfect roll for me with six successes.
Beautiful.
Very beautiful.
So, you were able to discover for Biloxia that the area you're going to need to go to to look
into the hardwares is sort of black market archaeotech scavenger region, filled with tech surgeons
that target unwilling donors, augmented servo assassins.
They're all thriving in this kind of forgotten warren portion of the city.
Um, it's like, it's like Necromunda town here, okay?
Just like, imagine, like, Adeptus Mechanicus Necromunda.
That's so cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, you do find that...
Necromunda.
Necromunda.
Necromunda.
Excellent.
Beautiful.
10 out of 10.
Um, you do find that there's a place that you, you learn from just, like, contacts and
whatnot that you call upon, um, called the TuneUp, which is a backstreet cyber surgery locale,
um, considered neutral ground by the tech gangers.
Um, its owner is named Skriner, and Skriner is constantly avoiding Sikarian Ruststalker assassins
because he has a bag of tricks, which is just a bag of, um, mechanical faces that he swaps out.
That's cool as hell.
Yeah, so you, you can lead the group to the TuneUp where you can meet with Skriner.
Um, this place is, is, like, very, um, very obscure and hidden.
Uh, but as you, as you approach, uh, like, there's screams.
You can, like, as you're coming in, there's actual, like, un-anesthetized amputations occurring,
um, as people are having limbs torn off.
And you can see that, that Skriner is in the back, looking up with one of their, their metal faces at you.
So you're a rogue trader?
Yes, I am.
And you must be Skriner.
That's right.
Well, a pleasure to meet you.
Let's try to keep this business.
I would hate for there to be any outbreak of undue violence amongst you.
Rather intimidating.
Yeah, you got a big boy with you.
Don't want that.
Certainly not.
No.
He's big as fuck.
I have a few questions.
I will expect straight answers.
If I don't receive them, then negotiations may well break down.
Outside of that, I do.
Okay, I'll have questions, too.
So let's do them one at a time.
You go, I go, eh?
Sure.
Where...
You go.
I'm generous.
Why, very thoughtful and thankful of you.
Where is the Stasis Crypt?
The what's its...
The...
The object in which you purloined from that hit that you ran alongside the Electro Priests.
What hit?
I didn't run no hit.
I was just...
Talking about the hardwares?
Yes, the hardware that was obtained.
You worked alongside the Electro Priests to murder a few individuals?
No, the hardwares were the gangs.
That was the name of the gang that they use.
Oh, my God.
I thought this guy was the gang leader.
Wait, who's this guy, then?
He's literally the guy who...
He's a ripper doc.
Yeah, he's a ripper doc in the, like...
This is the place you can gather information from.
Oh, my God!
I fucking...
I spaced out in a critical moment.
I thought this guy was...
I'm so glad.
I'm glad, because as you were doing this,
I was about to go, uh...
But I'm glad other people went, uh...
And knew that I, like...
Like, I had not explained that.
Okay, thank you, everyone.
There's been a lot of...
There's been a lot of things I do to kind of, like, push people.
In every show that we do.
I leave a comment, or say a thing,
or I push us in a direction, or I do a thing.
And, like, in this time, I was like,
I'm just not going to say anything,
because I'm just going to just do what Bruce would do.
You don't know what the fuck's going on.
He's just going to follow his boss.
He's going to beat up anybody who's doing anything.
It has been...
An experience.
An experience.
We're so good at games, guys.
We're so good at games.
Just wait till I run Call of Cthulhu on this channel one day.
Just wait.
Aw, dude.
Yogg-Sothoth's going to eat my lunch.
All right.
All right.
So, as Captain Aldenrush returns to reality...
Yeah, I move between timelines,
the one that we're actually fucking in.
Thank you.
Oh, my Jesus Christ.
Yes, hello.
I was hoping that you could potentially point us in the direction.
Oh, my God.
God.
What's the name of the fucking game?
It's like, I'm terrible at the last time.
What is wrong with me today?
I'm so sorry, team.
Oh, I let you all down.
Oh, my God.
Do you have Adderall?
I do have Adderall.
That's the worst part.
I'm just...
Oh, no.
I just was just normal, stupid.
Fuck.
You've said the name, like, 60 times.
Jesus Christ.
They were the after...
Do you want to phone a friend?
Uh, yes.
Reggie, I'd like to use one of my lifelines.
Can we get...
Can we get some...
Yeah, any one of your teammates?
The Hardwares are the gang.
Hardwares!
There you go, Captain.
That's it.
I was literally...
I was going to call them the aftercares.
Aftercares!
Thurston!
Thurston Hillman!
Fuck!
I would like to spend a raft dive for a narrative declaration.
They're now the aftercares.
Okay, yeah, okay, all right.
You'd have to kiss.
The reality where the captain actually knew the fucking plot has also changed the name of the gang.
This is the reality we're in.
I fucking hate the multiverse.
Okay, carry on.
I'm feeling sensation for a little augmentation.
Sexual augmentation.
That was beautiful.
Thank you.
It's aftercares.
Yes, I'm trying to find where the aftercares are located.
How may I do so?
And by the way, I am paying attention when you answer me.
Yeah, yeah.
Good, good.
So there's a bit of an up-and-comer gang.
They turned out a pretty big score after a job for those tech priests.
But then they just double-crossed them and decided,
Hey, we're going to sell it to people not from here.
Who are they selling it to?
Uh-uh-uh.
You get a question and I get a question.
That's how this works.
I suppose so.
We do have a gentleman's agreement.
Very well.
Ask your question.
He turns to Roos.
You.
Huh?
You, uh...
How attached are you to your limbs?
Oh, I think I'm pretty secure to him.
Okay.
Loat turns back to you, Captain.
Next question.
Ooh.
All right.
Yes.
Who exactly are they selling the crypt to?
Don't know exactly who they're selling.
They're setting up an auction.
At what time?
That's a different question, isn't it?
That's right.
Turns back to Roos.
What would you think about having, like, a metal arm or a metal leg?
Hmm.
Would that allow me to punch things a little better?
And grab things a little better?
Oh, yeah.
Metal arm.
You could do all sorts of punching with that.
So can I get a metal arm?
No.
Oh.
My sister said no.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Next question.
Where and when is this auction taking place?
That's a double question, and I'm not appreciative of that type of approach, but...
All right.
All right.
All right.
Where?
Well, I know.
Is that they must be smuggling it through the Stranos Space Elevator.
So, I mean, this crew, what's the new name for them again?
The Aftercares?
Yeah.
The Aftercares, they're going to stand out because they all got their arms with blood red
augmentics.
That's the thing.
That's why I know about them.
So, you'll be able to spot them at the spaceport.
Not many places could go anywhere.
It could be going from here.
It could be going out of the system.
It could be going somewhere else on the planet.
It could be going Odo.
Odo?
Yeah, that's the name of the moon.
It's really convenient, actually.
I'm not joking.
The name of the moon of this planet is Odo.
They send my ass to the moon.
Back to no moon.
All right.
My turn.
Turns back to Rus.
What do I need to do to get one of your arms?
Oh, you go again.
You got buyers who want them big like that.
Oh, you go back to get his permission shot.
Me points to Alden.
Okay.
Turns back.
All right.
Next question.
Is it within your power or the power of someone that you know to have us arranged in the bidding
process for that stasis crib?
You know, how about this?
Ah, that's a different question.
Okay.
You know, yes.
I could potentially assist.
I'm sure they're going to ask me.
I got no interest in it.
I don't need a crypt.
I need more hands, more arms, more legs.
Body parts is my business.
Well, that is quite convenient because whilst my companion here is in full need of their arms
and legs, unfortunately, I do happen to know the location of several corpses with arms and
legs fresh for the taking.
I don't even think they've been moved from the place they died.
Oh, that could be pretty good.
But you're sure about the big guy?
Unfortunately, he's my bodyguard.
And even with an Ogmetic, I'd prefer to keep him all flesh and blood.
And you'll never know with Ogrens.
They could become completely different after the fact.
I'm sure I could become a tractor.
No, you cannot become a tractor.
We established these three planets ago.
Oh, man.
Well, how about this?
You keep looking.
I'll get your comp bead frequency.
And when they ask me, I'll give you a little ring, let you represent me, and you give me
all them tasty corpse body parts.
Hmm.
A deal is a deal.
It shall be done.
I hold out my hand to shake.
He turns through.
I want to shake his hand just to feel it.
Is that okay?
You're weird, dude.
That's not weird at all.
This guy is weird.
Rouge shakes his hand, but can I do an athletics check to crush his hand?
Yes.
Yes.
Don't crush the guy's hand.
No, crush his hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's my difficulty number?
Difficulty five.
Let's go with.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to give him a little squeeze because I've only got three successes.
I was rolling.
I've been rolling shit today.
Everyone else is fucking rolling perfect.
Yeah, he gives him like a normal handshake squeeze.
Well, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's good squeezing power.
Yeah, absolutely hundred percent.
Ah, never mind.
Never mind.
Never mind.
Okay.
I'll go send my guys to go get those bodies.
You better make your way to the space port.
You don't want to, want to deal with this because it's going to get real soon if they're doing an auction.
There could be anyone there.
Anyone, you say?
That's right.
It would be convenient if you could tell us who anyone is.
Well, if they get it off the moon, I hear there's some, some, uh, some Eldari.
Here there's some, you know, usual, really, bad, bad enemy stuff.
I had bad enemy stuff?
You know, the, the, the, the, the bad guys.
All right.
Getting the bad guys.
They got weird tattoos on them without the sports.
That's right.
You know, see, this guy, you're, you're like the smartest of them, aren't you?
Yeah.
Oh, and sometimes I'll think I get into the sports sometimes.
You, you too.
You know who the bad guys are.
All right.
Like, and by the way, this, for, for the record, this would be like, like, people don't just be like, chaos.
Like, that'll fucking get you killed.
Like, they're like, the bad people.
The bad ones with all the spikes on them.
Yeah, exactly.
The bad guys.
It's the bad guys.
Who knows?
There might even be another ogren there.
I'll beat him up.
But don't you want to make a friend with the ogren?
It depends if he's got spikes on him, sir.
That a boy, Roos.
You always maintain prejudice based on someone's appearance.
Absolutely.
I already judged first.
Excellent.
Excellent.
And don't forget to spit on them, too.
Oh, absolutely.
Dude, he actually spits.
It makes a crater on the ground.
Yeah.
Acid spit just melts through the...
Count Rhonda's just getting PTSD.
Bruce?
You don't happen to have a Betcher's clan, do you?
No, sure.
That...
You shouldn't be able to do that.
Um...
That corn was really bad.
He's just...
He's just eating from a big...
A big icebox labeled Betcher's clan.
Bruce, if I give you a comically large rainbow lollipop,
will you let me put you under the knife and look at you?
As long as the lollipop's tasty, sir.
It's very tasty, and you don't lose anything.
I'm just going to run some scans on you later.
All right.
You are owed one lollipop transactionally.
Yay.
Why are you crying?
No, that's him laughing.
Oh, okay.
I didn't know.
Because you can still sort of tell when he cries.
It's the pitch.
It's kind of hard doing a deeper voice character and going...
That's fair.
It's hard to do it.
That's fair, dog.
I'm just stupid.
All right, I think you're going to be making your way to the space elevator.
Yeah.
To stop the aftercares,
which will be the end of our session for tonight.
Yay!
Did we accomplish things, Thurston?
Did we get anything done?
You got through basically, like, the first part of the adventure.
Yay!
That's pretty good!
That's pretty good!
I figured it quite a bit, actually.
Yeah, you actually did.
You accomplished quite a lot.
This is really good.
It's good.
It's good.
It's good.
It's an investigation.
Investigations can go fast and slow at the same time.
Correct.
Excellent job, everybody.
Thank you all so much for watching.
Remember, please remember, if you really enjoy what we do here, please let people know that we exist.
And, of course, you want to help afford these shows.
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Just, you know, tell people that you know on Reddit or any other social media platforms and stuff like that.
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And, of course, so they can all see the amazing players that we have.
Starting off with Hokey Crow.
Who are you and where can they find you?
Yeah, they can find me over on Blue Sky X Twitch.
Same name, pretty much every platform.
If you really want to, like, ask me questions on my Tumblr, you can do that.
But you can find me anywhere you want.
They're the same name.
And, of course, we have Odo.
Hi, hello, it's me, Odo.
You can find me on Blue Sky at OdoBytes.
You can find me on Tumblr at Odoroshi-Writer.
You can find me on the Discord at Odo.
You can ping me, if you dare.
Then, yeah.
You can also find her in the skies of Avacris as a moon.
Yeah, exactly.
I am floating above as a beautiful moon.
It's a beautiful moon, folks.
And then, of course, we have Speaker D.
Hi, I'm Speaker D, everybody.
Yeah!
You can find me.
Sorry, Noelle.
I've opened up all of our neighbors.
You can find me on Blue Sky as Speaker D.
And you can't find me anywhere else, because I can't be seen unless I want to be seen.
I can't be felt unless I want to be felt.
I can't be smelt unless I wish to be observed.
And, of course, we had our last year's Game Master, Thurston Hillman.
Hello!
Hi, everyone.
You can find me on all the things at On Call GM.
Thanks.
All this was super fun.
I am enjoying things immensely.
And, of course, I am Zoran the Wizard.
You can find me at ZoranTheWizard.com.
Find all the things, streams, stuff like that.
Come over and ask me anything.
Do you want to know about the show's production, stuff like that?
Anything that you are curious about?
But, of course, we will see you guys next time.
Please check out our stream schedules and everything.
Love you guys so very much.
We'll see you all next time.
So long.
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye, everybody.
Bye!