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Super Fan Rachel and First Time Watcher Matt make their way episode by episode through the groundbreaking 1990's Canadian vampire cop television show, Forever Knight.
Stay out of the sun. Keep away from sharp sticks. You'll live forever. That is supposed to be the deal.
Natalie:Well, God just changed the deal.
Rachel:Hi. I'm Rachel.
Matt:And I'm Matt.
Rachel:And this is come in it's
Natalie:not the right one. You led me astray. I was getting it
Rachel:right, and then you made me wrong. Okay. Hi. I'm Rachel.
Matt:And I'm Matt.
Rachel:And this is Come in 81 kilo.
Matt:A forever night podcast.
Rachel:We did it. We made it, eventually.
Matt:Unlike the dozens of vampires.
Rachel:Oh, too soon. Just too soon.
Matt:The credits needed, like, the was it like the animal care act or whatever? No vampires were harmed in this. The credits. Yeah. No vampires were harmed in the making of this episode.
Rachel:Well, welcome back, friends. It's time for the episode. I can't decide. Is this a jump the shark episode? Or was this a fuck it, we're going down swinging episode?
Matt:We're going down swinging jumping the shark.
Natalie:I'm gonna jump the shark and swing at
Rachel:the same time. You know what I mean by jumping the shark episode.
Matt:Can you please explain it for the for the listeners?
Rachel:Okay. Thank you for that prompt, Matthew. I shall explain it for the listeners. So there was an episode of happy days where the show was in its, in its twilight. It was ending.
Rachel:And as an effort to keep it relevant, they had the Fonz go skiing and quite literally Water skiing. Water skiing. Unless he could jump a snow shark.
Matt:It would be a
Matt:lot more exciting if he was downhill skiing.
Rachel:Well, they had him quite literally jump a shark. And it was like a, oh, watch Henry Winkler jump a shark. So he literally jumped the shark as an effort to get viewers back to happy days and save the show. And so this has become colloquially colloquially. I can't This is a saying that means
Matt:Colloquially.
Rachel:Thank you. This is a saying that means we are doing something extraordinary in an effort to save a show.
Matt:So To get ratings up.
Rachel:To get ratings up. And it's called jumping the shark. And this doesn't feel I don't want this to be a jumping the shark episode because then it would feel like a ratings grab. I want this to be, like, alright, y'all. They already cut the cord, so all bets are off.
Rachel:We do what we want for the next 9 episodes.
Matt:The the rains are gone.
Rachel:Yeah. Because as you may know, this is season 3 episode 13, fever. And I have a I got a very sweet message from Kathy, thanks to Meg, on, Cameo. And she said that, yeah, absolutely the, no one was looking, and we were pretty much allowed to do whatever we wanted to on season 1, which leads me to leave that season 2, like we said, was the safe one. And then season 3 was like corporate.
Rachel:We were trying to please our corporate overlords until the overlords were, like, we are not pleased. And then they were, like, fuck it. We do what we want. And then we go back for this brief, beautiful moment where we just do what we fucking want, and what we fucking wanted was to say something. And so they chose, because it was a huge conversation in the nineties, aids.
Rachel:And it is really hard to quantify. It would have been hard to quantify before 2020. It might be easier to intellectualize now, but it's really hard to quantify the panic that aids represented. Not only because it was a disease that you got and you died from, It meant you had done something morally reprehensible, and as a consequence, you were given AIDS by God. Because you were gay, you did drugs, whatever.
Rachel:It was considered a moral failing to have AIDS. And literally, you had doctors refusing to diagnose people with HIV because then they would have to treat them. People were sitting in in emergency rooms to try to get treatment. It was a crisis, an absolute fucking crisis. And the fact that this show chose to address it at all is Impressive?
Rachel:Impressive. Yeah. Impressive. Bold move. Fucking bold.
Rachel:Very bold. Because to say something like god does not give you aids on public television was like, oh my god, so much. And you think we're better. You think we'd be better, but then 2020 happened, and I think we can all agree, at least in the United States, that we are not fucking better. And allow me to enlighten you with an anecdote of our charming southern town, which I know everyone loves hearing anecdotes about.
Rachel:And if you don't, skip forward like maybe 2 minutes. But there was a fellow in our town, a fairly prominent fellow in the community. And during COVID, remember those people that believed that COVID wasn't real? They still exist, but anyway, he was pretty sure God would not allow COVID to be real, so he traveled to Florida during the height of COVID and got COVID and came home and ended up being in a medically induced coma for, like, 2 months. And then he came back and got better.
Rachel:And you would think at that point, any rational individual would be like, yo. COVID is serious. I almost died. But I think if history has proven anything, it's that humanity is not fundamentally rational because he came back and literally said, God had saved him because of his faith and that everyone else who had died of the same disease he had, it was because God allowed them to die because they were not the faithful. And so now every year, he has a big celebration in the town for the day that God allowed him to live.
Rachel:So let's just move forward into this episode with that in mind. This is our context lenses for the episode. Think of this as COVID. Think of this as if you lived in the nineties, you know exactly what is happening here. And it is there this is the show's attempt to make a political statement, and I fucking love it.
Rachel:And Matt was like, you have said that the last 3 episodes were your favorite episode, with the exception of Strings. But many things can be true. There is not just one true thing in the world. I can have many favorite episodes. I love the audacity of this episode.
Rachel:Just the fucking audacity of it. The, we aren't even gonna make aids the central point. We're gonna make, like, if you have a race like vampires, are they worth saving? Are they fundamentally evil? Can you label an entire race evil and doom them to death?
Rachel:Like, who gets to make that choice? Anyway, are you ready to start the episode?
Matt:Sounds like a similar discussion in the, the asteroid episode. And they they killed off a large percentage of of the affected population. In the the asteroid episode, it was humans.
Rachel:Oh.
Matt:And in this episode, they killed off a large portion of the vampire population.
Rachel:I hesitate to draw a parallel there because I don't think that the I don't think that the meteoroid episode was trying to draw any kind of political conclusions. I think it was just like, what if there's an asteroid that was coming out of the Earth? What would happen? And this feels more like, what if we drew a metaphor?
Matt:The the discussion of would God, could God Should God. Should God choose to destroy a race
Rachel:Yeah. On a whim? Emily, the answer to that is no, but that also proves
Matt:Yeah. And in both cases, everybody decided that it would have been wrong for God to have done that.
Rachel:Before we really launch into the episode, I wanna put out a little PSA that there is somebody on YouTube doing synopses of the entire first season, and they are scaredy cats, scaredyspacecats, or scared at scaredy cats TV. They're only, like, they're only, like, 8 minutes each. How can you do an episode in 8 minutes? Baby, baby took us 3 fucking hours. But if you want, like, a little doop doop, just 8 minutes, they're out there.
Rachel:And if you wanna hop over there and being like, hey. There's another person already doing this. You should go check them out if you want a longer form. Feel free to advertise for us. So, anyway, that's on YouTube if you wanna go check it out.
Rachel:I just wanna throw that in there before we
Natalie:really hop into the details.
Matt:A ripe market for
Rachel:Hey. Other people advertising. Other people are talking about FOREVERNIGHT. The more people we get talking about FOREVERNIGHT, the more likely we are to get a reboot. So Here
Matt:here's what we need to do. We need to go to each of their videos
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:And comment a link to our video our YouTube video of the same episode.
Rachel:As you are the YouTube manager, I will outsource this task to you. But back to the AIDS episode, aka fever, we start with this clinic. Are you ready for this? We start with this clinic and this man is getting his blood drawn. And the lady, Linda Wyatt, who we find out is the doctor who's developing this medication, she's like, oh my god.
Rachel:Your t cells are holding at 120. Still no symptoms? And he's like, no. Just the cough. And he tells her, like, you're a real lifesaver.
Rachel:And then we cut to another area in the lab, and Bernard is there. This is Bernard from 1966, but he's actually Dan.
Matt:They reused him. Yeah.
Rachel:The one who got punched.
Matt:It's his son. It's Bernard's son.
Rachel:Yeah. His distant relative, Dan. And he's going through the rats, and he, like, pulls one out. And Linda Wyatt comes around the corner, and he drops the rat.
Matt:He gets surprised.
Rachel:He was like, oh, shit. I wasn't no. That one holding this bloop. And he's
Matt:He acts like he's up to something.
Rachel:He could've feigned putting the rat back. Like, he was checking the rat, and he was putting it back. But instead, he's just like, yoink. He he eats the rat.
Matt:He's too young and inexperienced. He doesn't have enough emotional ballast
Nick:I guess.
Matt:To have regulated that.
Rachel:And then he turns around and grabs this giant briefcase, and he's like, oh, I'm just getting my notes. It's it's like it's gonna be another all nighter. Bye. And she's like, woah. Woah.
Rachel:Woah. Wait. Wait. Why do you have a giant briefcase? And he's like, what?
Natalie:No. There's no briefcase. And he just starts running.
Rachel:Oh, because he's hella sus.
Matt:Oh, yeah.
Rachel:Like, I don't know why Calvin hired this guy to or whatever bribed him. For his for
Matt:his medical technician skills, not for his people skills.
Rachel:Why did he go to Lynn what did he even try going to Linda and being, like, I can get your thing roll out in 18 months if it works? Or was he just, like, the only way around this is to steal her shit and kill her? Well, the I think the killing is accidental. It was really supposed to be just corporate, corporate espionage.
Matt:Right.
Rachel:Yeah. I don't know. She chases Dan down this corridor, and she's like, you're stealing my work. And he's like, nuh-uh. No.
Rachel:I'm not stealing your work. And then he keeps running, and he ends up pushing her down the stairs because she confronts him in the stairwell. And she pushes him, and then he pushes her. And because the, I guess, because the landing is overwaxed, she, like, slips, runs into the wall and then do do do do do do. And that's the end of Linda.
Rachel:And Dan is like, oh, no. Oh, that's fine. And then he just leaves with their hat. Like, this is gonna be fine. This is terrible, but, also, it's finally okay.
Rachel:And so he leaves with the papers because what they think is that this is a cure for AIDS. And whatever Bernard's motivations might be, Calvin is really only Dan. His name is Stan,
Natalie:but I'm probably gonna
Rachel:call him Bernard. Whatever his motivations might be, Calvin is in this because people died of AIDS within, like, 4 to 5 years. And it could take up to 10 years for this woman's medication to hit the market with the current resources she's working with. So he's trying to move her move her research to a higher resource lab where he can get it out and get it on the streets and save lives.
Matt:He can benefit from it and other people. I mean, he can benefit by surviving
Rachel:By surviving.
Matt:Because he can take it as a treatment. Right. But also he can save a whole lot of other people. So I was trying to find on the topic of Dan's interpersonal skills, I was trying to find a joke that I heard
Natalie:Oh, no.
Matt:About, the I couldn't find it. The punchline of the joke is that autism causes vaccines. Because anytime you have, like, a a field of work where it's extremely specialized and you have to be very, like, focused on the topic Yeah. It's, like, self selecting for, like, autistic people.
Rachel:Yeah. And If they can get through the interview process.
Matt:If they can get through the
Rachel:interview process. More hot takes.
Matt:And then and so you have all these people in these niche scientific fields, medical fields that happen to have autism because that's what self selected for them attaining the level of proficiency because of their hyperfocus on the topic. They're the ones that actually developed vaccines. So
Rachel:Autism causes vaccines.
Matt:But if you look up if you Google search autism causes vaccines, it's a whole bunch of, like, disinformation correction of, like, the search algorithms probably Switching. Tweaked to, provide, like, information correcting, results rather than this, like, YouTube short of somebody telling this joke. Anyway
Rachel:Almost as if one guy got paid off the lie in his research, and we've been paying the price ever since.
Matt:Yeah.
Rachel:Oh, so, Screed. I mean, we haven't seen Screed in a while.
Matt:Yeah. I saw in the credits at the beginning, he's he had a guest star.
Rachel:Oh, god. Just drive the fucking knife right in there.
Matt:So you know he's not gonna be around much.
Rachel:I wonder if they were intending him to be a bigger role and then he just didn't track well with the audiences, because we haven't seen him in, like, for fucking ever. He hasn't been in it in
Matt:I bet they wanted him in there more.
Rachel:Except this episode, maybe? But they
Matt:didn't any, they were doing, like, focus groups on the episodes.
Rachel:And they were like, what?
Matt:And they were like What are
Nick:you saying?
Matt:We don't the the audience doesn't like Screed. And so
Rachel:Fuck the audience.
Matt:When the writers, the show producers are kind of feeling the pressure of the corporate overlords. They're like, alright. The corporate overlords don't like Screed. We won't put Screed in this episode. And then the episodes where they're like, fuck the man.
Matt:We're putting Screed in this episode.
Rachel:Yeah. Just to kill him.
Matt:Well, in this case, but in the other episodes with Screed
Nick:Yeah.
Matt:It's like, we know our corporate overlords don't like Screed, but we're putting him in anyway.
Rachel:Our corporate overlords. So there's a rat on the loose. So who do we have? It's Screed. And so Screed's in this dumpster.
Matt:And it's finally not a metaphor.
Rachel:But Screed's in this dumpster, and he's singing a song, like a sailor song, sailor diddy. What are they called?
Matt:A shanty.
Rachel:A shanty. I could not remember. The kids and I just watched, like, a thing about sailors' shanties and how it was really fascinating. They were talking about how we probably sing them at a much faster tempo than they did because their work was not fast. It was more like rhythmic than fast.
Rachel:Anyway, that's not that's totally off topic, but Screed is singing the shanty, and he's, he's on the hunt. He's on the hunt for the one thing that Screed's ever on the hunt for, and that's rats. And so he picks up this gray rat and he's like, oh, hello. And then he looks over and a white rat runs by and he's like, oh, hello. And so he drops the gray rat and he hops out and picks up the which we now know is the lab rat.
Rachel:And then he looks up at the sky and he goes, something for old screed,
Screed:Where'd you come from, my lovely? Where'd you
Nick:come from, my lovely?
Screed:Someone's looking after your old screen.
Rachel:Like, thank God I got a nice rat tonight.
Matt:A nice clean rat.
Rachel:Yeah. And then he he eats this experimental rat, and then we see this cell transfer happening as he bites the rat. Yes. And then we go to the introduction.
Matt:With no explanation. We get it multiple times.
Nick:Bott
Matt:up. Every time except
Rachel:Every time.
Matt:We don't get it when LaCroix gets infected.
Rachel:60% of the time?
Matt:However, LaCroix gets infected.
Rachel:From Nick drinking his drink.
Matt:That's what I'm guessing. Yeah. But we didn't get the
Rachel:It's fine.
Matt:The, like, bloodstream under a microscope
Rachel:Yeah. Clip. It's only important the first couple of times because then you're like, oh my god. How far is it spread and how fast? So Nick and Tracy arrive at this lab, because there's been a crime.
Rachel:And so who shows up when there's a crime? The only 2 detects detectives in the whole of Toronto, Nick and Tracy. So they arrive at this lab, and Tracy is complaining about the smell. She's like, why is it that labs always smell like that? Is it LabSmell Incorporated?
Rachel:It smells like cherry cardio. My tongue isn't working.
Matt:Slow down.
Rachel:I don't wanna slow down. It smells like cherry car deodorizer, only not. And Nick is like, yeah. I've never noticed. Like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Rachel:Literally, everything stinks. Tracy, you smell like shit. She smells like shit. He smells like shit. Everyone smells like shit.
Matt:Like fruit.
Rachel:There is 1 god. There is one book I've read where the vampire character is like, yeah. Everyone smells like and and that is what they smell like. And it's totally fine that they smell like that because that smells like prey or that smells like food. And there's just that's the only one.
Rachel:Everyone is like, they smell like honey and lemon and strawberries and honey do matter and sun kissed roses. Everyone else is like, oh, yeah. They smell like all these beautiful beaut and then there's one book. It's by Christopher Pike. It's one of his vampire books.
Rachel:Oh, no. Not Christopher Pike. Not Christopher Pike. Christopher Pike is the one who wrote The Last Vampire series, which is in like a 19 nineties vampire You series where the main character is somehow both from the Indian subcontinent, but also blonde and blue eyed and Hindu. A combination, I believe, can only exist in the nineties, and she's 5000 years old.
Rachel:Anyway, that's a whole other thing. The one I'm specifically talking about is, I think, Bite Me by Christopher Moore, who wrote a bunch of vampire comedy novels. And he's the only one I've ever read who was like, yep, humans do not smell amazing, but they smell like food. And several times in this episode, as Matt referenced, we get to hear about how Tracy smells like fruit.
Matt:It was just the once that I remember.
Rachel:Twice.
Matt:Twice? Okay.
Rachel:Twice. Yeah. But not cherry cardiotherizer, so she's got that going for her. And Nick spots the dead rat. Like, they're walking in and the dumpsters are outside the front door, but, like, slightly angled away from the door.
Rachel:How this works. And he's just like, oh, look at that. There's a dead rat over by the dumpster. So he goes over and he, like, picks it up with his bare hands. But he, like, gets in there.
Rachel:He doesn't just pick it up with his bare hands. He's, like, digging his thumb in the open wound, like, smearing it around. What the fuck is this?
Matt:You'd have to be able to make it out on a CRT screen.
Rachel:Is that where we're going with? This is the fakest dead rat I've ever seen in my life.
Matt:It really is.
Rachel:It looks like it was carved from wood and somebody, like, paper mache glued some some faux fur to the outside of it. And then he sticks his hand in this blood, and then we see the cell transfer thing again. And this is the first time in 3 years of episodes that we have actually seen consequences for Nick not wearing gloves at a crime scene.
Matt:Which explains why he has never started wearing gloves.
Rachel:Right.
Matt:But I would say this also supports our cobbled together vampire mythology that he can absorb blood through his skin.
Rachel:That's true. Just like Rasputin in
Matt:the second episode. Got blood on his skin Yeah. And just reflects.
Rachel:Sucked it up. He even says it's fresh.
Matt:Ew.
Rachel:I'm sorry. What? So then they go in and they're talking to Dan, and they're like, did she often work late? Was she like a late worker? And he tells them there's a lot of demand for equipment.
Rachel:We're undersupplied, underfunded. She was dedicated to her work. I don't know what to tell you. She came in and worked every opportunity she could. And then he tells him that, oh, don't look for anything missing because I already checked and nothing was missing.
Rachel:And so he hold Nick holds up the rat for Dan to see, and he's like, I found this outside by the dumpster. Does this look like one of her rats? I also found 50 other rats. I'll be looking I will be showing them to you in just a moment, but let's start with the white one. And the guy gets a little squiffy.
Rachel:He's like, oh, I don't know. It could be hers. I mean, if it was hers, it would have a tattoo behind the right hind. Hers is the 700 series. So I don't know.
Rachel:You just gotta tat check this rat, and then it could be hers. And then he's like, but where did you get it? And Nick does not answer. He doesn't answer questions he doesn't feel like answering, and he certainly doesn't answer Bernard's questions.
Matt:Nick needs to be like, I'm the one asking the questions here.
Rachel:Yeah. He's like, mhmm. Okay. So could it have escaped? And the guy's like, no.
Rachel:We're very careful. Like, we handle things here that could bring down the whole city.
Matt:Oh, no.
Rachel:And Nick's like, okay. So what did she work on? Did she work on something like that? And he's like, oh, no. No.
Rachel:No. No. She was cloning this benign virus that attacks HIV. It's like it wasn't anything serious. And so Nick turns around and he walks up to Natalie because And BD.
Rachel:And BD. No big deal. So he turns around, and Natalie is there, and she's processing the scene. And she's like, well, it's possible she slipped on the waxy landing and fell down the stairs. It is pretty slick up there.
Rachel:But, I mean, I can't definitively say that that's what happened. And Tracy pops up, pops up in a puff of smoke, and she's like, oh, I found her apartment calendar, appointment calendar. And it says
Matt:Slow down.
Rachel:Like, going really fast
Natalie:for this. Okay.
Matt:You're you're going so fast. You're tripping over your words.
Rachel:You know what it is? I've been editing all day at, like, 1 point 75.
Matt:Oh, so
Rachel:you're So I've been listening to
Matt:you. All sped up.
Rachel:I am. I'm, like, rant. So I guess I need to I need to channel Sita from Christopher Pike's immortal last vampire series and practice Hindu meditation. I think it's in the 3rd or 4th book, we find out that she studied with a, like, a cult in Egypt and learned how to transfer her consciousness outside of her body. Honestly, these are the trippiest fucking books.
Rachel:If you have not read Christopher Pike's Last Vampers series Christopher Pike.
Matt:Christopher Pike.
Rachel:Yeah. The last vampire. It starts with the last vampire, which is relatively tame considering how far off the fucking rails it goes. She ends up becoming human and giving birth to Kali, and then Kali tries to kill the reincarnation of Jesus. I can't make this shit up.
Rachel:So go find it and read it. Okay. There. Now I had a breather. Are we ready?
Rachel:So Tracy pops up, and she has this woman's appointment calendar. And she says that she had 3 appointments. And night appointments. It's person a, who doesn't matter, person b, who doesn't matter, and person c, who is Calvin Tucker. And Natalie's like, oh shit.
Rachel:Calvin Tucker? I knew him from med school. He was in med school with me, And then and then he got aids, and he had to drop out. And then she's like, why would he be here? It's like
Matt:she didn't know he had aids.
Rachel:Yes. She knew he had AIDS.
Matt:Oh, I thought she said he was, on the way to becoming chief surgeon?
Rachel:Yeah. And then he got AIDS and had to leave practice. Yeah. And she's like, well, why was he here? It's like Rent A Doc.
Rachel:This is like the oldest shittiest pharmaceutical development company in Toronto. They've got old equipment, run down equipment, second string research grants, what would he be doing here? And then we cut right to the interrogation room with Calvin, which is nice because this episode needs to keep moving. They've got a lot to cover. So we don't have to go find him.
Rachel:We don't have to hunt him down. We just cut right to, like, we called Calvin and he came right in. So now they're in the interrogation room. And he says, I was looking for a miracle. She was working on an experimental treatment and needed guinea pigs and I was desperate.
Rachel:And it's interesting because the person who's actually interviewing him is Natalie, not Tracy and not Nick. And he's talking to Natalie and she's like, first trials Cal, you know the risks, you know this could be a serious problem. And he's like, what's it gonna do? Kill me? He points out that he's had AIDS for 4 years and he's already outlived most of his friends who were diagnosed at the same time as him.
Rachel:And he says, you know, I thought she was onto something and I wanted in, and the approval process, it was going to take longer than I have left to live. And when you're staring at death, you will try anything. And through this whole interview, Nick is standing in the background like, look. He's channeling his inner LaCroix, standing in the background stand
Matt:back and observe.
Rachel:Yeah. Watching. And this sends him into a flashback because, apparently because, apparently, Nick and Lacroix were in London during the Black Plague.
Matt:Get their drink on.
Rachel:So there's rats and dead people and dead people being eaten by rats and shits on fire. And kids are singing ring around the rosie in the background.
Matt:And almost pee almost dead people getting drank to death by vampires.
Nick:Yeah.
Rachel:And then Lacroix is eating somebody, and Nick walks up, and he's like, Lacroix says, I haven't had a decent meal in weeks. They all taste like the plague, and London used to be such a nice city. I think we should move on. And Nick's like, I thought you thrived on human suffering, Lacroix. And Lacroix's like
Matt:too much of a good thing.
Rachel:It's too
Natalie:much of a good
LaCroix:thing. I haven't had a decent bit of weeks.
Matt:They'll have the taste of plague in them.
LaCroix:London used to be such a nice city. I think we should move on.
Nick:I thought you thrived on human suffering, LaCroix. Disasters are a useful distraction, Nicholas. But he questions a few more dead here all the way up their going. But there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
Rachel:Besides, they closed the theaters, and I despise a city with no culture. So they spot a guy moving through the carnage. He's got, like, a pilgrim hat on and toggle buttons, and he's very distracting. And his name is Gerard. But he's walking through the carnage, and Nick can't help but follow him.
Rachel:He must give Nick, like, his he must give Lacroix his puppy dog look. He's like, come on, Lacroix. Go follow him and
Matt:I see another moral individual.
Rachel:Lacroix is like, oh, fucking fine.
Nick:I can smell it on him.
Rachel:As we learned in the last episode, Lacroix cannot cannot resist when Nick gives him the force, the little force. So he must give him the low force. And they follow this guy, and he goes to this, like, preaching circle, mob circle, whatever you wanna call it, Or this guy is preaching that the plague is a judgment from God, and because London is a city of sin, that that's why the plague is here. And then he grabs a woman and he pulls back her sweater and she's got, like, black marks on her neck because it's the black plague. And he's like, this is the mark of evil.
Rachel:Only the righteous man will survive. God will protect you from this. If you were righteous enough, you would not be sick.
Matt:Hey. This sounds familiar.
Rachel:God. I can't fucking you know what? This felt so much more relevant watching it this time. Because the last time I watched it, I was like, oh, yeah. The nineties were a wild time.
Rachel:Then I watched it this time, and I was like, oh, God. I feel like I heard that, like, last week. I can't with this fucking like, the the I mean, the position of this podcast is that God does not strike you down with disease. Okay. I feel like we can just blanket say that Disease exists.
Rachel:Bad things happen. Bad things happen to everyone regardless of whether or not you are good or evil. Bacteria does not choose. Bacteria just does its thing, and so do viruses. And so then LaCroix is like, okay.
Rachel:Like, maybe it is only the righteous that survived. Maybe you make a compelling argument. What do you think, Nick? And Nick's like, I'm I'm ignoring you right now.
Matt:Maybe God loves the germs more than the humans.
Rachel:Yeah. And Nick is, like, everyone is equal in the eyes of the plague, because that's what the guy says. He pops up, and he's like, why are you doing this? Why are you, like, calling these people out like this? Everyone is dying.
Rachel:Everyone is equal. Shut the fuck up. And then LaCroix looks over at Nick, and he's like, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Not quite all of us.
Matt:Let's go chat him up at the bar.
Rachel:He finds them in their defense. He comes to them. They don't find they don't seek him out. But when he seeks them out, they take advantage of the opportunity, or at least Nick does. And I have to imagine Nick gave LaCroix the first.
Rachel:Like
Matt:Don't even sit at the table,
Rachel:LaCroix. Can I turn to him? Can I turn to him? He seems like such a nice guy. And LaCroix is like, if you need a pet, that's fine.
Rachel:Jennette is apparently absent right now. I don't know where she could possibly be. So it's fine. Probably, Janette was like, it's gross here. I'm going somewhere nicer and
Matt:just laughed.
Rachel:Ew. So Nick comes out, and he's like, they're still at the precinct. And he says, could there be something to this cure? Because everyone seemed to love Linda Wyatt. This guy seems to think it was really working.
Rachel:Is this secure for AIDS? And Natalie's like, if it did work, it'd be worth a lot of money. It would, in fact, be worth the Nobel Prize. So maybe? I don't know.
Rachel:Like, it's definitely a candidate for industrial espionage because if this got leaked and it got developed by another lab, it can make them a boatload of money. So, like, maybe that could be your motive. And Nick is like, look, regardless, I'm sorry about your friend. Like, at least he takes a moment and he's like, listen, Natalie, with affection. I'm really sorry.
Rachel:I'm
Natalie:sorry about your friend.
Matt:You'd think he'd learned his lesson.
Rachel:No. And I'm never gonna fucking let it go.
Matt:Communicating his feelings to Natalie.
Rachel:He kinda does. I mean, he's like, I'm sorry. Like, I'm focused on this case. I really wanna get this solved, but also I recognize that this is your friend and he's in a really shitty spot. And, like, I get that this is shitty for you, and I'm sorry.
Rachel:And she says, well, he's 35, and he looks 55. And can you blame him for latching on to anyone with a magical crystal? Of course, you would because you're just trying to save your life.
Matt:Right. Just look at all the the wild things Nick has chased throughout history and his search for a cure. Nick should totally sympathize.
Rachel:I know. He's, like, totally get it. Although, with Nick, it's what's the alternative? I keep living forever instead of I die.
Matt:He's grasping at any opportunity Right. To end his his sentence.
Rachel:Literally any opportunity as we will find Charlie. Because Natalie is like, I'm just tired. Get me some samples, and I'll take a look at them later, and I'll tell you if this was worth stealing. Okay? Because I have approximate knowledge of many things.
Rachel:I can I can look into that? Right.
Matt:Why did this not go to a an actual, like, bio lab?
Rachel:Because Natalie is one stop shop. She is forensic slash coroner slash, investigator slash everything. She's like, get me a couple of rats.
Matt:Consulting research lab.
Rachel:Me a couple of rats, and I'll tell you if this is the cure for can't cure for AIDS or not. Okay?
Matt:I couldn't make it, but I can tell you if it is or not.
Rachel:Right. And Nick is like, oh, okay. Thank you. Do you need anything else? And she goes, yeah.
Rachel:Sleep. Yeah. Sleep. And so she leaves, and then Tracy's like, is she gonna be k? And Nick is like, oh, yeah.
Rachel:This is, like, fucking Tuesday. Have you heard about some of the shit she's gone through? One time her brother got murdered twice.
Matt:It's always a personal tragedy with Natalie.
Rachel:What is this fucking Tuesday? Poor Natalie. This is so hard. It's just a parade of shit. That's Natalie's good character.
Matt:Pulling up her HR record. It's like, wow. She has 17 applications for, like, leave for bereavement of a close friend or family.
Rachel:Yeah. Like, twice she's dated serial killers. I mean, it's just like, god, Natalie. She's best friends with a serial killer, slightly reformed. She's just got a lot of shit going on.
Rachel:Okay? And she leaves, and Nick is like, you know what? Actually, I think I'm gonna head home too. So she heads home. And then Tracy heads to Vashon's because even though when Nick found this rat, she goes, looks like a cat got at it.
Rachel:What she was thinking was, looks like a screed got at it. So she goes to Vashon, and she's like, hey. I found this lad rat lab rat partially chewed. I think Screed might have been there. And Vashon's like
Matt:And there was a crime.
Rachel:Maybe. And so they're walking through his little house, and there's a giant pile of rats. And Tracy's like, which fair? Like, I would too.
Matt:They're on the way to Screens.
Rachel:They're in Screens house,
Matt:and Screens
Rachel:just has, like, a mound. It's like a 2 foot top mound on that.
Matt:That's why later he was saying that he had been meaning to clean up.
Rachel:At least he put them all in one spot, I guess. And Vashon's like, what are you gonna do? Put him on the witness stand? I don't think you're gonna be able to get him there even if you could get him there through the, like, during the day. And Tracy's like, yeah.
Rachel:But maybe he's a witness. Even if he's not on the witness stand, he might give me information, Vashon. God, is your wig too heavy today?
Matt:That's great. Wig too tight? Squeezing the brain cells?
Natalie:It's squeezing the
Matt:2 brain cells too close together.
Rachel:No. That might make them work better because little electrical arcs are passing between
Matt:them. Maybe it's maybe it's squeezing around the one and stopping the other one from talking to it.
Rachel:Oh, maybe. Maybe. But Screed jumps out to attack Tracy, and Vashon stops him, and he's like, hands off. And this creep goes, smell her, v man. Do I miss start calling you m man?
Matt:Okay. Yeah. Is it v for Vaishan or v for vampire?
Rachel:Why not both? Porque no los dos.
Matt:Well, I I just wanted to discuss. Would would they see themselves as separate kinds of things? Like, does this creed consider himself a vampire? Yeah. As separate from, like, regular vampires?
Rachel:Screed may very well consider himself a vampire, but nobody else considers Screed a vampire. That's how, discrimination works. He's like, I'm a vampire just like the rest of you, and they're like, no. You're fucking not.
Matt:Okay. Go on.
Rachel:So he says, smell her, v man. Fruit in her veins. Best vino on earth. And Vashon's like, can't even say that out loud. Play it cool, man.
Rachel:And Screak goes on. He's like, hungry man will take any loaf you got. 1st kill, any kill. And that's when he says jacks, jills, even sweet baby Jane. And Tracy's like, I'm sorry.
Rachel:Can you translate screed for me?
Screed:Jicks, jigs, Even sweet baby Jack. What?
Rachel:And Vashon's like, yeah. When we wake up, we're so hungry. We'll literally eat anything. Anything to get the blood you need. And if you don't eat a human first, you don't hunger for human.
Rachel:And Screed's like, yep. I ate a rat first, and the rest is history. So there's our second and last ever mention of Karush. I hope you really enjoyed it. Actually, he says, got my dingoes into a squealer that light.
Rachel:So and then he's like, oh, gotta have something. So screed bites himself, and Matt totally ruined the moment by going, is that masturbation?
Natalie:Fucking not right now. This is supposed to be critical.
Matt:He's self soothing.
Rachel:Yeah. I mean, the best John pulls his hand away and offers him his own wrist. And that was like, she's watching them have
Natalie:Such a moment for that.
Rachel:But Tracy's like, I take it this is not normal. And Vashon's like, well, I'm not in front of other people like you.
Natalie:No. I guess it's not.
Rachel:And then she goes, he's sick?
Matt:Screed likes it when people watch, though.
Rachel:And all credit to Vashon in this moment. Tracy's like, he's sick, and he doesn't immediately go, no. Quit being hysterical. He's like, no. We can't be.
Rachel:We don't get sick, but I think you're right. I think. He he's immediately, like, all signs point to it. So yeah. Probably.
Rachel:Instead of being, like, no. That's impossible.
Nick:That's
Matt:no. I acknowledge that I'm not a smart man.
Natalie:You might know more than me.
Rachel:Hey, he's had 500 years to learn his limitations. Okay? That's very possible that he's like, I work with what I've got, but sometimes I don't got a lot. Okay? So good on Vashon for believing him.
Rachel:And then we see the transfer thing again, the cell transfer thing, because when Skreed bites Vashon, ding, ding, ding. Now Vashon is sick. And then we cut to Vashon has shown up at Nick's, and Nick has just gotten out of the shower, and he's wearing his thanking robe. He's got his robe on, and he's got a towel around his neck. Like, I really don't want you here right now.
Rachel:I'm really in the middle of something. And he goes, Nick to Vashon says, I take it you need something. Because where the fuck else would Vashon ever be at his house? Do you need money? Do you need, like you need me to get you out of a parking ticket?
Rachel:Is your is your motorcycle an impound? Like, why are
Matt:you here? Confused about life in general.
Nick:You do
Rachel:not know this is not your house and you can't
Screed:live here.
Rachel:I don't understand. Do you need a haircut?
Natalie:I will pay for that. You just let
Rachel:me know. And Vashon's like, no. I need your doctor friend. I don't know her name, but whatever. The doctor lady thing that you work with.
Matt:I know I know she's the, like, coroner or whatever, but I don't know where to even find someone like that.
Rachel:I spent, like, 4 hours
Nick:at the
Matt:morgue or whatever?
Natalie:I spent
Rachel:4 hours at the hospital, and I I couldn't get a doctor to come with me. I thought maybe I could get your friend.
Matt:I'm not allowed back now, anyway. On an unrelated note.
Rachel:Nick goes, what for? And Vashon's like, I got a sick friend. And he goes, she's not that kind of doctor. And so Vashon says, I hear she's pretty good with the dead and the undead. And Nick's like, okay.
Rachel:Continue. And Vashon says, I can't take him to the hospital. What am I gonna tell the emergency room? He's allergic to penicillin, garlic, sunlight crosses, and food, and he's 450 and he can fly? Okay.
Rachel:That's pretty fucking funny. Vashon gets some pretty fucking funny lines in this episode. As much as we make fun of Vashon for the way that his character is written, he gets some pretty fucking funny lines, and that's one. And then Nick goes, is it screed? Like, Vashon has no other friends.
Rachel:Is it screed? And so Vashon goes, yes. Tracy says he bit some experimental rat. Maybe he picked something up. And Nick is like, okay.
Rachel:First of all, that's impossible, which is what you expect Vashon to do but doesn't do, and it's nice because it actually advances the plot without feeling like, well, Tracy got hysterical. She might be on her period. She said that Screed, she could be pregnant. I don't know. She said that Screed is sick, and I'm kind of humoring her.
Rachel:He's like, no. He's really sick. So when he goes to Nick and Nick is like, that's impossible, Vashawn is like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel:It should be, but he's really sick, and I mean really sick. He says, I've seen sick, and this is it. The way they breathe the way they breathe, Ashon, what do you mean? Like, is he I don't understand. Now I will say that there is a way that people breathe when they're dying, and I don't know this because I'm, like, secretly a serial killer.
Rachel:I know this because I sat with my dad. And there's definitely, like, a, okay. That's not
Matt:okay breath.
Rachel:That's not okay breath. And maybe that's what he's going with is this he sounded like he was rat. He may have. It's a very distinctive once you've heard it, you'd be like, shit. That's what that is.
Matt:And Natalie explained later that there's blood in his lungs.
Rachel:Right. And Nick is like, okay. I'm gonna have a flashback about this for just a second. Like, I need this is part of my process. Just let this happen.
Matt:Please hold for a flashback.
Rachel:Just a minute. I gotta I gotta think about the last time this happened to me, which was during the black plague. And it's Nick and LaCroix at a tavern, and the guy from the street, like, runs in and runs over to them and sits down at their table. And he's, like, why is it that you guys move around in this city and you don't seem afraid of any repercussions? Like, you don't think you're gonna get sick at all.
Rachel:You stay in the center of all this death, and yet you have your health. And LaCroix goes, perhaps we are righteous men.
Matt:Perfectly delivered. Yeah.
Rachel:And Gerard, this guy, he's like, yeah. That's not it. But I do think you know what would help. And if you have a thing to ward off this black death, like, you are obligated to share it, and you can share it with me. And Nicholas looks over at Lacroix, and Lacroix is like
Matt:He's literally asking for it.
Rachel:Yeah. LaCroix literally says free consent, freely given. Because he's like, if there was such a thing, it would have a cost. And the guy's like, oh, yeah. I know.
Rachel:I would pay it.
Matt:Anything.
Rachel:Anything. And LaCroix goes, he said anything.
LaCroix:Anything.
LaCroix:Free We consent freely given. Let him be saved.
Rachel:And then he looks over at Nick, and Nick's like,
Matt:do your thing.
Rachel:He goes, let him be saved, and then he turns away.
Matt:Yeah. Yeah. I've been wanting to make a friend.
Rachel:Literally make a friend. And then we see Nick, like, turn him at this tavern. Like, they're in the middle of the tavern and, like,
Natalie:they're just in a booth off to the side.
Rachel:Lacroix stands facing outward, like, he's the lookout, but they're in a big room.
Matt:You know what? Mass hypnotism.
Nick:It could
Rachel:be. It's LaCroix. Honestly, I think that Who
Matt:knows what he's capable of?
Rachel:We come back to Nick and Natalie, and they're at the morgue. And Natalie's like, no. No. No. No.
Rachel:No. What? And Nick is like, I'm with you. I don't think this could be true because nothing has ever touched vampires, Not influenza, not Ebola, not smallpox, and Natalie goes, not AIDS? And Nick goes, not anything.
Rachel:Stay out of the sun, keep away from sharp sticks and you'll live forever. That is supposed to be the deal. Also, religiously charged objects, garlic, and commitment. But that's that's those are lower down on the list.
Matt:Well, the commitment is just Nick.
Rachel:Those are harmful, but not fatal. Yes. Natalie Natalie goes, well, God just changed the deal, which is rich because later on, she's gonna be like, God has no part in this. So nice 180, Natalie. But she does
Matt:But she's meaning God different ways.
Rachel:She says or nature or whatever you wanna call it.
Nick:Right.
Rachel:The natural order of things just changed to the deal.
Matt:Right. The natural order of things that you just referenced as the deal.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:Yeah. That thing is different now.
Rachel:Yeah. And she says there have been some major changes on this planet over the last 50 years. We're mining more of the rainforest. We've dug deeper into the earth. We're letting loose all these microbes that previously never existed.
Rachel:Who's to say one of them could not be infectious? Anything is possible, and Nick's like, I'm not talking about something that came out of the jungle. Say Central America. I've heard of this happening in Central America. Not here.
Rachel:Not in the civilized countries. God. He goes, Screed was infected by Linda Wyatt's rat. So what if, and this is not a big leap, what if it's the thing she made? And Natalie's like, you make a compelling argument, because then she goes to see Screed.
Rachel:And she draws blood for some reason, even though it's his
Matt:heart beating. Be rat blood.
Rachel:Is his heart beating?
Matt:Because we all know that the only blood is a vampire. It's the blood they drink.
Rachel:She goes back and figures out it's rat blood the same way she knew the last blood was lamb's blood. She, like, swirls it in a test tube, and she's like, that's rat blood. Yep. Sniffs it.
Matt:So he's Rubs it between her fingers.
Rachel:Smears it on her forehead. I think that's rat blood. Somebody comes in. She's like, this is diagnostic. And then they leave.
Rachel:Maybe there's a reason Natalie is always alone in her room.
Matt:She's she has, she's engineered this environment for herself.
Rachel:Yeah. Nobody bothers her. She fired Grace years ago. The only other guy that ever worked with her turned out to be a serial killer, so she just stays alone. But Screed has high fever, extreme hunger, delirium.
Rachel:She's like, if he were human, I would prescribe antibiotics, but shrug. And she says he has a multiplying retrovirus, so he's bleeding out internally, and this is the final stage. So I don't know what to tell you. He's dying. And Screed goes nice bit of toast to that.
Rachel:Sean's like, she's a doctor.
Matt:Completely oblivious.
Rachel:And then Sean goes, she's a doctor Screed. And Screed goes, what? She can't be. She didn't try leeches or nothing.
Natalie:And he starts coughing.
Rachel:Oh, 1st grade. And then Natalie's at a loss. She's like, I don't know. He's sick. But, like, I don't know.
Rachel:I don't know. Like, I I don't even really know how to cure you. I've literally just been throwing I've been throwing the, like, burnt ends of stuff from my freezer in a blender for the last 2 years of just giving it to you.
Natalie:I don't know what
Rachel:to tell you. This is not gonna work. I don't know how to actually help. And she leaves, and that's it. Like, that's it for Skrita.
Rachel:She throws her I mean, what what can she do? She just throws her hands up. So Nick goes to the precinct and he's in this sassy long black coat outfit, and I just wanna point this out. Everybody gets some banging outfits in this episode. Natalie gets this sassy red blouse that she wears underneath her corners coat, and she has the corners coat, like, rolled up, and then the sassy red blouse is only rolled up slightly less.
Rachel:So there's a red band around her elbow, and then she's got this really nice high waisted pants on and this red blouse and looks really nice. And then Nick gets this black long, like, slat turtleneck slash blue button up shirt alternately. He kind of flip flops back and forth, and they both look great. And then Natalie, not Laddoli.
Matt:Tracy?
Rachel:Tracy gets her suit. Her, like, suit and tie.
Matt:Fitted suit with a a black tie.
Natalie:This is a great
Rachel:fucking outfit, and it made me realize that Tracy is Gen z. She's pre Gen z Gen z. I was like Yeah. Wow. No wonder everyone is having awkward conversations with her all the time because she's somehow chronically online without actually being online.
Rachel:I don't know how that works, but that's Tracy. And it explains so much, so I'm just gonna leave it there. But Nick finally makes his way back to the precinct in his sassy coat. And Tracy's like, so hey, where were you? And he goes, I was visiting a sick friend.
Rachel:And she's immediately defensive. She's like, sorry. I didn't mean to pry. Probably because Nick never says where he was. He's probably, like, out home.
Matt:Right. She expected him to just respond going through the motions.
Rachel:Yeah. And she's like, sorry. I didn't mean to pry. And this is when she's wearing her suit. She looks so cute in her little suit.
Rachel:And we have discovered that remember there's a case? Do you guys remember? There's a case going on.
Natalie:Oh, right.
Nick:Do you remember that?
Matt:Right. Somebody died.
Rachel:Yeah. Yes. Somebody fucking died. And they've discovered that Calvin was on the control group for the trial. So he thought he was getting better because of her medication.
Rachel:Psyche. He wasn't even on the medication. And they're like, do you think she knew? Odds are, no. It was probably a double blind.
Nick:Right.
Rachel:Because otherwise, her bias might have affected the way that she reported the results.
Matt:Right.
Rachel:So they say, do you think Tucker knew? Well, no, you you can't tell the person in the control group that's the whole point of the control group. So, no, he didn't know. And they're like, well, that could be a motive because what would he do if he thought
Matt:she was holding a cure?
Rachel:Lou better go talk to him. So they go talk to him at his house. And, yeah, Calvin isn't happy. He's like, I went to Linda against my own advice. And what do I get 10 cc's of salt water twice a week for my trouble.
Rachel:And he's like, you know what the worst part was is, I thought it was fucking helping, because I've gone 6 months without an opportunistic infection and my t cells were up. I thought I was getting better, and I wasn't even on it. And they believe him. They're they leave, they come back to the precinct, they park, they get out of the car, and Tracy's like, I mean, I believe him. And Nick's like, yeah, I agree.
Rachel:And then he collapses against the car, like, opposite them. And, uh-oh. Stumble. They got him, Jim. He he got it.
Matt:Nick's got it too.
Rachel:He's got it too. And I love this. Fingered that rat.
Natalie:Girls don't describe it like that.
Rachel:But he looks over and he, like, he's the 2nd person to try to kill Tracy in this episode. Because he looks over and Tracy's trying to talk to him, but all he can hear is her heartbeat. And he's like fixated on her neck. And I love how every other vampire when they fall ill are immediately, like, almost fucking kill somebody, and Nick is, like, no. No.
Rachel:No. I'm fine. I can go to work. He just moves on in his life. Like, he knows he's sick, but he's not in a place where he has to run Tracy off, which is what Screed and Vashon inevitably do.
Matt:It's the, years of discipline, self deprivation.
Rachel:Yeah. That's what Natalie says.
Matt:And and probably not drinking human blood, but drinking cow blood.
Rachel:I mean, that's what makes it progress so slowly. And, also, could that virus even live in cow blood?
Matt:Sure would.
Rachel:Not all viruses are transmissible between different species. And if the only blood in his veins is the blood that he drinks, then he'd be a 100% cow. And so would a cow would it be able to infect him? I don't know.
Matt:Maybe that's why it affects him less.
Rachel:Yeah. Let's go with that. But Tracy's trying to talk to him. She's like, just because Calvin didn't kill her because he wasn't getting it doesn't mean that there's not somebody else in the control group who didn't kill her because they weren't getting it, which is honestly legitimate, but we never talked to anybody else who was in the
Matt:control group.
Rachel:0. Who knows? But then we cut back to Vashon and Screed because Screed is dying and Vashon is holding him. And it's really fucking sad because Screed's all laying in his blankets and Vashon's just holding him and he's like, listen, can you bury my bones down by the water? Like, bury them deep in the sand because I never felt right on land.
Screed:Been too busy to pick up after myself. I'm sorry to say. I I meant to give the place a good scrub, tidy it up. Needs a little spit and polish. Do us a favor, mate.
Screed:When last? Anything. Put my bones down by the water if I can. Bury him good in the sand. It never felt right on land.
Rachel:So canonically, Scree is a pirate.
Matt:A pirate vampire.
Rachel:A pirate vampire. And I think that we can all just leave that image in our mind forever instead of the image of him dying, which is what they give us ultimately, because he dies at the end of the scene. And it's really sad. They kill a character. They kill Screed.
Rachel:And then we immediately cut to the raven, and Nick is talking to LaCroix. And LaCroix is like, god damn it, Nicholas. This is just another one of your fucking fantasies where our big bad evil race gets wiped off the planet by some stupid virus. Of course, you think there's some special germ that's just gonna wipe us away neatly. No one is ever gonna know and the scourge of evil, that is the vampires, will just be gone.
Rachel:Is that what you want, Nick? And Nick is like, well, I mean, not exactly like that but, like, kinda like that. And he keeps drinking LaCroix's blood, like drinking, not literally.
Matt:Right. Like, he's feeling extra thirsty.
Rachel:LaCroix pours himself a glass, and Nick picks it up and keeps drinking. And for anyone wondering
Matt:Laquah looks, but doesn't, intervene.
Rachel:Yeah. He just lets it happen. Because last time when he came in and congratulated Nick for getting it on with the other vampire lady, Nick stopped what he was doing. So sometimes when you have children and they're doing something that you're really proud of, you can't talk about it because they get self conscious and then they stop doing it. So he has to just let this ride.
Rachel:And for anyone wondering, beefcake booty short is not in this scene.
Matt:Oh, no.
Rachel:But the leather jacket that has the raven painting on it is. Mhmm. And
Matt:Good eye.
Rachel:It makes me wonder, did beefcake booty short die of the vampire virus?
Matt:Was beefcake booty short a vampire?
Rachel:Oh, I mean, sure. He was at The Raven all the time. And we know from this episode that dozens, if not 100 of them die from this virus. Why not beefcake booty short?
Natalie:Oh, no. Oh, no. We'll have to
Rachel:find out. If he doesn't come back, then he died of the virus. But LaCroix is, like, trying to reason with Nick. Nick's drinking his blood, which is probably weirding him out a little. And he's, like, men have struck at us with lies and with fire and we are still here.
Rachel:I am still here, and this sends Nick into a flashback. And this is when we find out that the good doctor that they turned into a good vampire is now straight up murderizing everybody and really carelessly. Like, he's just killing people on the street. And so father Laird, the local father, whose name is Laird, came in to talk to Lacroix, because apparently they hang out at this bar all the time, and everyone knows where to find them find them there. So he came in and was, like, maybe it's like the raven medieval edition because Lacroix is drinking from a glass earlier, which implies he was given blood because there's no way he's drinking something that isn't blood.
Rachel:And LaCroix is like, damnedest thing. Father Laird came in to see if we knew anything about the strange marks on the patient's neck. Do you have an explanation, Nicholas? And Nick is like, what?
Matt:No. He wouldn't do that. What?
Rachel:No. No. Gerald? And Lacroix is, like, yeah. Fucking Gerald.
Rachel:He's, like, god.
Nick:Gerald, the guy I knew
Screed:for 3 hours before I turned him into a vampire.
Rachel:Jeez. I thought he was better.
Matt:I trusted him.
Nick:Do
Rachel:you just think you know somebody? But he goes to confront Gerald. He's like, I'm a clear this up. I'm a clear it up because LaCroix is like, I'm a dip because they're gonna come back, and they're gonna come back with steaks and pitchforks and shit. And I'll I'll go.
Rachel:And Nick is like, okay. Well, I got I'll come with you, but I gotta check one thing first. So he goes to check Gerald and he find he, like, worship
Matt:He walks in on him drinking soda.
Rachel:And Gerald's like, oh, sup, homie? And Nick is like, not your homie. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? And Gerald's like, oh, it's not like they're people.
Rachel:It's 5. They're brief candles that are blown out in any wind. We're the real people because we're immortal. It's perfectly fine. And Nick is like, the fuck is wrong with you?
Matt:You were a doctor who wanted to save people.
Natalie:He goes,
Rachel:I have destroyed you. And Gerald's like, oh, no. You've set me free. And then we come back to Vashon very convincingly hacking up his lungs. He's like,
Natalie:it's so loud.
Rachel:And Tracy goes, are you okay? And he goes, I've been better. Screen was right. You do smell like fruit. And Tracy goes, maybe it's my shampoo.
Rachel:I have been using Herbal Essences. I saw those nineties herbal essences commercials where the women have an orgasm in the shower. And I kind of thought I could like, I could have an orgasm in the shower. So I bought herbal essences. Maybe it's that.
Rachel:And he's like, no, no,
Nick:no, no.
Matt:Maybe you could help.
Rachel:He goes, you smell like fruit. Every woman has her own scent, her own flavor. And I want to finish it up with be like, men just smell like ass. Women, fruit.
Matt:But he's he's making some moves on Tracy, and Tracy is into it.
Rachel:Oh, yeah. He's like, your blood is who you are. Every drop tells its story, and Tracy's like, tell me more. And, yeah, he's like, a touch of apricot. He just keeps going.
Rachel:He's like, and then he almost bites her. And then he's like, oh, God, no. Like, I don't wanna do that. And so he ends up kicking her out, and he's such a drama king about this. He's like, leave
Natalie:before I kill you.
Rachel:And you just think about earlier when Nick was like, oh, god. I I just wanted to bite you.
Matt:And he just shook it off.
Rachel:And then he went just went back to work. Whereas Vashawn is like, leave. Don't stay. I'm dangerous. And, you know, the part of me that loves this in vampire media is, like, yeah.
Rachel:Okay. That's scratched an itch. But still, at the same time, it's so overwrought in reference to what Nick goes through, and I don't know. I love it. I I love this tiny little reference to the idea that they experience life through blood.
Rachel:The blood is who you are and every drop tells its story. Because we have literally not mentioned that since last act. Season 1 episode 4.
Nick:Yep.
Rachel:Is the last time we talked about this. And the fact that we bring it back is, like, oh, thank you. Like, one thing one thing we brought back, and I'm so happy it's back.
Matt:When did they bring it back?
Rachel:Right now. When he says blood is who you are, every drop tells its story.
Matt:Oh, every drop tells its story. Okay.
Rachel:Yeah. And we're gonna revisit it again in a episode and a couple of episodes. But the fact that they even tease it at all, it's just like, oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Rachel:I love that idea. I love it because it makes Nick's sacrifice feel meaningful.
Nick:Right.
Rachel:He's actually losing No. I eat tofu instead of sausage or whatever. It's like, I'm literally not getting what I need. Meanwhile, Natalie is working on samples from the lab, and she's like, I'm pretty sure Linda's medicine is a dud. Because Tracy comes in and she's like, it doesn't work.
Rachel:HIV overwhelms it in the body. I don't it's I'm just getting parts and pieces of it. This isn't giving me anything. I don't know. I I don't have a good enough sample to say whether this was worth stealing or not.
Rachel:And Tracy's like, okay. Yeah. You know, look at those blood bags over there. I should probably go stand at them. And then she actually talks to Natalie, which if you think about it, Natalie is at her little bar area where she does her experimentation, and then she turns to talk to Tracy because Tracy says something about Calvin being in the control group.
Rachel:So they're having a conversation, but Tracy is literally away on the other end of the room with her back to her
Nick:Mhmm.
Rachel:While they're having it's a really weird she would never stand there while she had this conversation. And yet, somehow, Natalie doesn't know she's stealing these blood bags.
Matt:She left them out for Tracy.
Rachel:Why does Natalie have fresh blood bags in the
Matt:Because she's doing tests with blood for the the virus, the anti HIV thing?
Rachel:Right. But later, when Nick comes and he's like, I need to feed, he runs over to one of her refrigerators like
Matt:Oh, that's that's where she drains the bodies into.
Rachel:But blood still decomposes. Even if she drained the body, unless the body was really really fresh.
Matt:They're refrigerated.
Rachel:It would have started to decompose. It turns into slime. Like, you can't okay. It's fine.
Natalie:It's fine.
Matt:It's the slot device cabinet.
Rachel:Okay. So Tracy breaks the news to Natalie, because Natalie's like, maybe I need to get in touch with Cal and get some samples with from him. He's been on it for 6 months. He's gotta have a better sample in his bloodstream than I'm getting from these. And Tracy's like, oh, did Nick not tell you?
Rachel:Calvin was in the control group, And Natalie's like, oh, no. Oh, shit. Oh, that makes me feel terrible. God, I feel so useless. And Tracy says, everyone feels helpless when their loved one is sick.
Rachel:And Natalie, and what I'm beginning to see is a real Natalie move goes not as useless as I feel. Just like when Tracy
LaCroix:Is she
Rachel:a topper? I think she might be. Like, when Tracy said her uncle needed needed a heart or he was gonna die, and she was like, yeah, just like my knee. And when Nick was possessed by an actual demon and Natalie was like, well, I think we all have our demons. And, you know, I've under I have overcome some pretty scary stuff, and I think that's pretty much equivalent.
Rachel:Natalie's like, no. You can't understand. I feel more useless in this situation than anyone else. I am completely unique. No one else can feel as extremely as I do because I am special.
Rachel:And she says, I went to med school to save the world. And maybe if I just been a couple of years later, if I had graduated after all this AIDS stuff hit, maybe I'd made a different choice. But, like, now I'm just a coroner and I'm not trying to save the world. I'm just trying to figure out who pushed this lady over the balcony. And Tracy's like, yeah, but that's helpful too.
Rachel:Like, we need to find that out too. Natalie says, yeah, but I just wish for once I could help someone before it's too late. And ding ding ding, Nick arrives. And he looks
Matt:Stumbling.
Rachel:Like shit. And Tracy's like, nkoma leaves, because she's got blood in her coat. Literally, she stashed blood bags in her coat. And so Nick walks in like, sup Tracy. See you later.
Rachel:And he walks right over to Natalie and he goes, I'm hungry, and I'm hot.
Matt:So the usual?
Rachel:Nat goes, the usual. And so Natalie Natalie goes, and I'm thirsty. Just kidding. Natalie holds her hand up, and she puts her hand on his forehead. And when she pulls her hand off, she has straight up blood droplets on her fingers, which is supposed to be blood sweat, but also he didn't have that much fucking blood on
Natalie:his forehead where that came from.
Rachel:And then we cut back to he's like, he's taken his coat off. He's sitting there while she's, I mean, we had, like, a commercial break. So during the commercial break, he took off his coat, he took a seat, and he got his temperature taken. And she's like, dizzy, nausea, DTs, anything? And he's like, no.
Rachel:And she goes, well, your fever is only 98 degrees. It's not even human normal. And he's like, it feels like a fucking fever to me. And then he's, like,
Matt:actually So she says, well, I'm that temperature, and I'm not bothered by it.
Rachel:Well, he goes, I need to feed. So this is when he stands up and, like, gently pushes her out of the way and heads over to her fridge and she's like, no no no no no no no. Don't eat. No eat. No eat.
Rachel:Why does she have blood in this refrigerator? But it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And so she goes, how did you get it?
Rachel:Did you touch the rat? And he's like, I don't know. Like, fucking maybe. I never wear gloves at crime scenes. I could've fucking touched it.
Rachel:I have no idea. And she's like, oh, shit.
Matt:I've never gotten sick from this before.
Rachel:Do you know what that means? And he's like, oh, no. It's spread by contact. That means literally any vampire could have it. And so she leaves him leaning on this fridge, and she walks away.
Rachel:And then he does this thing where he, like, turns to look at her. And she's trying to talk to him. She's trying to say, like, you're not as bad because your blood take is is limited, and you have to drink fresh blood for the virus to have something to multiply in, and so the more blood you drink, the faster you get, the sicker you get, the faster you die. But what he's doing is just like stalking up to her.
Matt:So she is like half afraid because Nick is being a little scary, but she's kinda half turned on because he's paying very close attention to her.
Rachel:And it kinda makes you realize how much they normally hold back because she's supposed to be a resistor, and yet he's able to keep her there while he stalks up to her. And Tracy is supposed to be a resistor, and yet Vashon is able to hold her while he
Matt:It's because they're not using their vampire hypnosis whammy. They're just using sexual prowess. Yeah.
Rachel:Sex hammer? Yeah. Maybe maybe it's the combination of the 2.
Matt:Yeah. It undermines the resistor.
Rachel:Yeah. But he walks up to her, and he ends up grabbing her neck. And then he's like, oh, god. I can't do it. Like, no matter how hungry I am, I can't hurt Natalie.
Rachel:I just covered this in the last episode where the when the demon tried to make me kill Natalie, but we've retconned all that away, so it doesn't really matter. And she's like, are you listening to me? No, he's not. But tldr is blood will kill you. And he goes, okay, blood will kill me.
Rachel:So not drinking blood will save me? And she's like, well, no. No. That's we need a cure to save you, but it will slow it down. And he goes, slow or fast?
Rachel:What's the difference?
Matt:What And then she fucking scolds him.
Rachel:No. She's he goes, what if nature has decided she can no longer suffer unnatural creatures to live? Right.
Matt:And then she scolds him.
Rachel:Well, he goes to
Matt:even thinking that way.
Rachel:Yeah. First, he goes into a flashback because he's like, yeah.
Nick:Oh, yeah.
Rachel:This is a judgment from God. And he goes into a flashback where Gerald is getting his just desserts for being all sassy and murdery. He's been murdering people on the streets and people have noticed, and now they want him to stop doing that. And they're like, is it a pact with the devil that has given you this medicine to live? And Nick is literally, like, do you need to make a pact with
Natalie:the devil to have medicine to live?
Rachel:And so the guy's, like, yeah. It's for God and God alone to decide who shall live and who shall die. And Nick's, like, oh, okay. Cool. You can have him.
Rachel:And so he pushes his way through this crowd. He, like, shoves people off to the side to get to the back of the crowd while they're running at Gerald. And then we're like cutting between Gerald getting lit on fire and chased down with the crosses. And then this guy runs at Nick and Nick just goes, Pushes him. And gently
Matt:tosses him to the side.
Rachel:Like, hey, stop it. I'm trying to watch what's happening right now. And then he's like, actually, I'll get an aerial view. So he takes off in flight. And then we come back to the present and Natalie is like, don't you fucking dare.
Nick:She
Rachel:was like, do not fucking go there. I don't wanna hear it. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Natalie:Don't you dare. What? God sends sickness to punish the wicked, to wipe the unnatural from the earth? What about Calvin? I've seen too many good friends with AIDS, with with cancer, with with pneumonia.
Natalie:God does not choose.
Rachel:And I love it because Natalie is like, I I am at my limit. I have heard enough about how evil you are and I am fucking over it, mister evil as a metaphysical condition. That is not true. That is not what is happening. This is not happening to you because you are evil.
Rachel:This is to you because bacteria and viruses exist and sometimes they infect you and they cause problems in your body that cause you to die. And this has nothing to do with God. It has nothing to do with righteousness. It has nothing to do with good or evil. And I need you to fucking stop talking about this.
Rachel:Are you trying to tell me that Calvin deserves this? Does Calvin deserve this? We don't know if Calvin is gay. We can kind of assume he is. He could've gotten it from a blood transfer.
Rachel:He could've gotten it from a dirty needle. He could've gotten it from an accidental needle stick. There's any ways that he could've gotten it. But are you trying to tell me that he deserved this? You look me in the eye and you tell me that your my friend deserves this and that you deserve this because God does not choose.
Rachel:And Nick says, I don't claim to know what God chooses, except just a minute ago when I just did claim to know what God chose. I just know that it's killing killers and maybe that's the point. And Natalie goes, well, it's killing you. Is that the kind of mortality you've been looking for? And he says, maybe it's the only kind I'm allowed.
Rachel:Okay. Sorry. I got a little triggered, apparently.
Natalie:I'm very talking about that.
Matt:Very much so.
Natalie:Sorry. I
Matt:felt like it was under a barrage.
Rachel:Yeah. I don't know. There was some transfer that's going on there, but the the point really is that Natalie is unwilling to, be spoon fed his bullshit today. She is over his, I'm 800 years old, and I know more than you do. And so I think God is trying to kill vampires.
Rachel:And she's like, no. No. And then she
Matt:goes This is the message that the the showrunners, the writers wanted
Natalie:to send.
Rachel:Yeah. This is the the Star Trek method of redirecting. Oh, no. No. We're not discriminating against black people.
Rachel:We're discriminating against Klingons. It's entirely different. This is like, oh, no. No. This disease isn't designed to purge the world of gay people.
Rachel:This is about killing vampires. We're talking about vampires. I mean, come on, guys. Keep up. And so Natalie tells him, it's killing you.
Rachel:Is that the kind of mortality you've been looking for? And he says, maybe it's the only kind of mortality I'm allowed. You
Natalie:is that the kind of mortality you've been looking for?
LaCroix:Maybe it's the only kind I'm allowed, but
Rachel:don't you give me that crap. And Natalie is like, oh, fucking, no. Do not give me that shit. How can you not care about what happens to you? How can you not care how that makes me feel?
Matt:Right. Which is a a productive way to talk to somebody that's feeling Yeah. Like, maybe I don't wanna be around anymore. Because it, like, in their mind, a lot of times, it's, like, from what I've, I've heard a lot of people talk about it.
Natalie:Yeah.
Matt:Like, it's it's a topic that has caught my attention because of its significance. Yeah. And so one way that I've heard it described is that, like, when you get in that mindset, you think you're doing the world a favor. Yeah. But you think you're giving a gift to the people around you and the entire world by not being there anymore.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:And so a productive response to that from a therapist is, what's that going to do to your mother? Yeah. What's that going to do to your father? What's that going to do to your best friend who you haven't even told this to? Right.
Rachel:And and How are they gonna feel?
Matt:I'm glad that Natalie just went straight to the point.
Rachel:Well, it yoinks him out of himself for a minute.
Natalie:Yes. That's what it does.
Rachel:His own head about, well, you know, I'm evil. I'm dying. Maybe I'm dying because I'm evil, which is perhaps nature has decided I am literally too evil to live because at one point nature literally told him he was really evil, He gets really in his own head about it, and so he's just circling the wagons around how bad of a dude he is. And Natalie is like, pardon me, but I matter too. And I really think that losing you would be a great loss.
Rachel:And how can you explain to someone like Cal who would do anything to live a little longer that you are just accepting this thing that is happening to you because you believe you deserve it. This is really unfair. This is really is not cool. Okay, Nick? It's not cool.
Rachel:And Nick is like, well, I don't know. We transition away. We don't know how he responds to it because we immediately go to Tracy, who's taking care of Sean, and she's brought him the blood that she stole from Natalie. And he's like, great. Thanks.
Rachel:But, like, I'm not hungry anymore, which I wonder if this blood was samples from the lab. And if it was samples from the lab, it might actually be HIV positive blood. So it might actually have helped him if he'd had it.
Matt:That's an interesting point. Yeah.
Rachel:Yeah. But Tracy's like, this wasn't supposed to happen. I mean, I knew there was gonna be challenges when I was dating a vampire, but dying young wasn't supposed to be part of the deal. And Vashawn says, if it's any consolation, I'm not actually young. Like, thank you.
Rachel:You know what? We give Vashawn a hard time. We do. And, honestly, it's probably the bangs. I'm just kidding.
Rachel:I don't know.
Matt:It's the whole head of hair.
Rachel:It's the, you know, it's the we resent that he's supposed to be the young, hot vampire, and we remember when Nick was the young, hot vampire, and so we're kinda mad about it. And I get it. It's transference. It's fine. Just like what happened earlier when I was screaming.
Rachel:We're translating this to a a dislike of Vashon. It's not Vashon's fault, okay, that he is apparently the replacement for, the sex appeal in this episode in any episode in season 3. But this moment where he's, like, joking with Tracy, he's doing a really good job. And this actor is actually is actually really good at this. Mhmm.
Rachel:And I know we give him shit, but he does just fine. And in
Matt:this We're giving Vashon shit
Nick:Yeah.
Matt:Not Ben Bass.
Rachel:Not Ben Bass. And so when he's like, I'm not actually young, and she's like, you know what I mean? You know, dying before we actually get to know each other. And Vashon said
Matt:Before we get a chance to trail off.
Rachel:You'll know each other. And Vashawn says, you know, I'm usually the one who's left behind. I've buried a lot of mortal friends. So many girlfriends. I can't even shut up.
Rachel:And so Tracy says, when does it get easier? And he goes
LaCroix:I'll let you know.
Rachel:And that's the end of this really touching
Nick:moment.
Rachel:I mean, Tracy was not expecting to have to watch this guy die, and now she's watching him die. And it must feel like, shit. This is my one connection with this community that is way bigger than I thought it was. And I was really interested in getting to know him and getting to know, like, vampires and, like, what's happening there. Like, she's a curious person, and this was her link to a world that she's curious about, and now he's dying.
Rachel:And we come back and it's Nick and Reese at the precinct. And Nick is talking to Reese and he's like, you know, Tracy said she's quote sitting with a sick friend, which I've heard from anything for actually sitting with a sick friend who a little bit on the side. I mean, come on, Reese. Give her, like, the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she actually has a sick friend.
Rachel:Does she do this regular? Like, does she do this every Thursday? Sure. Maybe she's actually having an appointment with somebody on the side. Is she literally this is the first time she's called out to say she's sitting with a sick friend.
Rachel:Maybe we give her the benefit of the doubt. And then he turns to Nick and he's like, so the Wyatt case, is anyone actually working on that? Funny story, but no.
Matt:Nick's not
Rachel:paying attention. Nobody's actually working on that. Yeah.
Matt:And I thought it was interesting. Both Nick and Tracy said that they were visiting a sick friend, and both of them were with Vashawn.
Rachel:Yeah. They're both with the same friend, the sick friend.
Matt:Well, in Nick's case, the sick friend was Screed.
Rachel:It was Screed and and Vashawn. Yeah. Yeah. And so Reese is like, look. You guys are weird, and, normally, that's really cool.
Rachel:But being weird and not working on the case is not cool. Like, normally
Matt:I can justify your weirdness by your productiveness.
Rachel:Yeah. Normally, he normally, he puts up with their shenanigans because those shenaniganizing is happening, so is actual police work, like, at least the appearance of actual police work. Although, normally, the bad guy just sort of reveals himself at the end, which is exactly what happens here, actually. But he's like, have we not brought in anybody to have any conversations? We're only talking to Calvin.
Rachel:She had, like, dozens of other patients. There's literally a laundry list of people who could have done this. Have we talked to any of them? And Nick is like, I don't know. Like, he's just all bundled up.
Rachel:Like, he looks sad and sick, and Reese is just like, well, then fucking get on it. Okay? Like, I'm really fucking get on it. Okay? And so Nick is like, whatever.
Rachel:So he leaves. And, of course, this is the moment that LaCroix chooses to podcast because he's like, fine. I'll get back to work. And Lacroix is like, okay. But I'm gonna whine at you while you're doing it.
Rachel:And I actually so this was my, like, quote on Myspace, and my quote, I think, at the bottom of my AIM profile was the the ages of man are denial, awareness, and acceptance because a young man believes he will not die. A middle aged man knows he will die, and an old man is ready. And then, so what of those taken out of sequence? What about those who think they're going to live forever? What happens when that is taken away from them?
Rachel:What does that make them? And then he goes on to be like, my people are dying dozens in a single night. Those who believed they would never die are dying. My children are dying. Who's listening to this?
Rachel:Who is not a vampire? Who's like, is he okay? Right. He's not okay. Spoiler alert.
Rachel:As soon as you start reading John Donne poems on the radio, it's time to, take a minute.
Matt:Yeah. So this is, like, just one line from Lacroix to indicate that this is spreading rapidly amongst the vampires
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:And they're dying fast.
Rachel:Yeah. This is very reminiscent of being human, the US version. There's a whole story arc where people get the flu and it's just the flu. Everybody gets better, but the antibodies for that flu are poisonous to vampires, and so they're all getting sick and dying.
Matt:Yep. And
Rachel:I was like, like in forever night, and then, you know, we it's fine. I don't think it was a reference, but it's just interesting that they both have these because they can't seek medical treatment. They can't advertise that they're dying. They have to die alone in the dark. It's a compelling storyline.
Matt:Mhmm.
Rachel:But the thing that the quote quotes at the very end is a poem called death be not proud by John Donne.
Natalie:Okay.
Rachel:And it's, it's a really cool poem. I know of it because I know this quote from Lacroix, but if you look it up, it's not very long. And the last lines are just the one short sleep past. We wake eternally and death shall be no more. Death shall thou shalt die.
Rachel:And it's supposed to be about salvation, like, we're gonna die, but then we wake eternally in heaven. So then there will be no more death because we'll be immortal. But Lacroix is using it in a more literal sense. Like, literally, I kill you and then you come back and you're immortal on earth. And then we go to Cal because now we have to kind of remember that plot line where there was, like, somebody that got murdered?
Rachel:Well, we need to, like, not only has Nick and Tracy forgotten about it, the show forgot about it for a while. So let's just reel that back in. So Cal is talking to Dan slash Bernard, and he's like, this was bullshit. This wasn't a cure. I wasn't even on it.
Rachel:Didn't we already tell him? I'm not sure if he's, like, informing Dan or if he's realizing because he's looking at a sample under the microscope, and he's like, it only works in the test tube. It never worked
Matt:in the body. I think Cal Cal found out at the police station. They they ended up informing him.
Rachel:Well, they tell him at his house. They come to his house.
Matt:Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I think Calvin went back to the lab and verified, or, like, did some just sanity checks. Like Yeah.
Matt:Does this actually work? Let me do No.
Rachel:It does not.
Matt:Some investigation. Nope. Nope.
Rachel:And then Dan is mad because he murdered a woman for this. And now Cal is like, well, it's shit actually, so never mind.
Matt:Right. And we find out that Calvin had, provoked Dan
Rachel:to do
Matt:to steal the secrets so that he could give him a grant at the
Rachel:And Cal's like, well, that was based on the idea that this cure was worth something, and it's worthless. So you killed Linda for nothing. And then they get into an altercation because Dan clearly has anger management issues. And the absolute funniest fucking part of this is he freezes Dan with antifreeze or something, which is in this giant tank.
Matt:So okay. Here's my rationalization of how that would work. Okay. One, when you're working with biological samples, you have to keep them frozen.
Natalie:Okay.
Matt:Like, deep, deep freeze.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:So they have some, like, refrigeration system that keeps it rural cold.
Rachel:Right.
Matt:But then they have, like, a pressure release valve in case the refrigerant, like, has problems. And so he accidentally hits the refrigeration the, like, relief valve, which releases this compressed refrigerant that's already cold. And when you have something compressed expand, it cools down.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:And so it shoots out this, like, freeze spray. Which spontaneously freezes him.
Rachel:Solid. Solid. It kinda reminds me of in hotshots part do. Do you do you remember that scene in hotshots part do where, the Stalin, not Stalin character is holding his little dog and he gets frozen with a fire extinguisher?
Matt:Stalin or,
Rachel:Saddam? Saddam. It's Saddam, not Saddam. Sorry. That starts with an s.
Rachel:And he gets frozen with the fire extinguisher, and then he, like, falls and shatters. Yeah. And then they do the, Terminator 2, like, where he melts and comes back together again, and he's part dog or whatever. But that's what this reminded me of, the scene where he, like, freezes and he falls. I was expecting Dan to, like, shatter.
Natalie:He doesn't. He's just, like, leaning against the tank. I don't
Rachel:know. All the ways this is an otherwise serious episode. Right? Otherwise, this episode is, like, this is good. Like, oh, yes.
Rachel:Thank you. Right.
Matt:All the ways to accidentally kill him.
Rachel:On all the ways we could accidentally kill this guy, freezing him with refrigerant, which this tank is in the middle of the floor. This is it. This is the safety valve. This guy can literally trip, hit this, and it fills the entire room with poisonous gas. This feels like an issue.
Rachel:Is is OSHA involved? Like, is there an OSHA in Canada? Because this feels like it,
Natalie:and this feels like a violation, but
Rachel:he turns into a danceicle and then poor Calvin is on the floor and he's like, help me, help me. And just in time for Nick to arrive and hear him, like, vampire hear him. And so he whooshes in, and he picks Cal up off off the floor, and Cal gets to say, like, there's poisonous gas, but hold on just a minute. Let me fully confess all of my crimes before we leave the poisonous gas cloud. So he's like, I killed Linda or I talked to Dan.
Rachel:Dan killed Linda. He did it because I told him to. I'm the bad guy. I wanted her research. You can arrest me if you want.
Rachel:And then we come back to the precinct and poor Calvin is, like, yeah. I did it because I thought it was actually working and I have connections. I have lawyers. I have money. I could have had nationwide rollout in 18 months instead of 10 years, which is what it would have taken because her lab was so underfunded.
Rachel:They don't even have a full time patent lawyer. He goes, but it's all bullshit because HIV overwhelms it in the body. HIV overwhelms it in the body. One more time for the people in the back. No.
Rachel:You guys got it? Good. Okay. So it's kinda sad. He could have just gone to Linda and been like, hey.
Rachel:Why don't you come over to me? I've got connections. I could move you to a better lab. We could get this out in 18 months. But instead he's like, I think I'll straight up steal it.
Rachel:I guess desperate times, not every people don't always act rationally, but it's just sad that this is what this led to.
Nick:Yeah.
Rachel:And that's it. That's the solving of the crime is Nick literally walked into the middle of like, oh, okay. There's the bad guy and then the bad guy confessed. So congratulations. Reese told me to get to work on this, and goddamn it.
Rachel:I wrapped it up so fast,
Natalie:so fucking fast.
Nick:All I
Matt:needed was a little kick in the butt.
Nick:Yeah.
Rachel:All I had to be right time, right place.
Nick:You know
Rachel:what I'm saying?
Matt:So Cal accidentally killed Dan. Yeah. And Dan accidentally killed
Rachel:Linda.
Matt:Linda. Yeah. So it was just 2 accidental deaths.
Rachel:But there's still it's still accidental manslaughter.
Nick:Right.
Rachel:Yeah. Because your actions still led to the death of another.
Nick:So Right.
Matt:And it was all, provoked by Natalie called it, industrial slash corporate espionage.
Rachel:Yeah. And Reese is like, I mean, we gotta charge him because Natalie says, do we have to charge him with murder? And he's like, well, he is a murderer, so we can't, like, not charge him with murder. That's sort of like a precedent thing. But the courts are so backed up right now.
Rachel:He might never even make it to trial.
Matt:And he's not a flight risk. So we'll release him out
Rachel:of zone.
Matt:We'll talk to him.
Rachel:Release him. And then Nick comes in as Reese is leaving, and he's like, I'm sorry, Natalie. Like, I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want your friend to be responsible for this. I had no inclination that he was, but he told me he was.
Rachel:So I guess that's the truth.
Natalie:I don't know. I didn't investigate
Rachel:this shit. I don't know what's happening. And Natalie is like, it's okay. I mean, nothing is solved, though, because Calvin is still dying and you're still dying. And then she walks out.
Rachel:And then we go to the exterior. The apartment building exterior.
Matt:This is awesome where that gets used for everything.
Rachel:This is also where we had an illegal organ donning donor operation. This is the exterior and that's how you know shit's about to go tits up because we have invoked the exterior and it's apparently also Calvin's apartment building. This is a multipurpose building. Okay. And Lacroix is there when he comes home and Lacroix is so melodramatic and I fucking love it.
Rachel:He's like, you have faced human justice. Now you will face, now you will take my justice to the face. And he does this, like, hand thing where he, like I don't even know how to describe it. It's almost like a duck hand, but he puts it in front of his face, and I'm always waiting for him to put his fingers together and just go boop. Quack.
Rachel:Quack. He's like, who are you? And Lequois goes, I'm one of the damned. One of your damned. And he's like, you've killed a whole race.
Rachel:They are dying silently, invisibly out of the light, and my people cry out for revenge. And poor Calvin must be so confused.
Matt:Calvin was not directly involved in any of that. Like, direct causal responsibility lies with Dan through Linda.
Rachel:Laquod doesn't need justification. He just needs a target. He
Matt:needs an outlet.
Natalie:He needs an outlet. He
Matt:needs some closure.
Rachel:Look. He had some emotions. He had to get them out. Calvin was available. Calvin was adjacent enough.
Rachel:It was fine. He showed up. He he did some cathartic, like, he did some
Matt:shadow work. He had emotion. He didn't like it. So he let it out.
Rachel:Yeah. Yeah. And by that, we mean he kills Calvin. He bites him and kills him. And then Nick and Natalie arrive at the morgue, and
Natalie:I fucking love this so much. I got
Rachel:because Lacroix is in this room already. And not only has he put Calvin's body on the table, he's covered it with a sheet. And the only purpose of doing that is for the dramatic reveal where he pulls the sheet back.
Matt:I'm just imagining LaCroix rooting through the cupboards looking for a sheet.
Screed:Where does that damn one keep the sheets?
Nick:I'm like,
Rachel:I can't just leave it out. How will I whip anything back? And, like, I need a moment where they're not sure who's on the table so that I can reveal it, and I need a sheet to do it. We're not
Matt:fucking a sheet. Every once in a while listening. Are they here yet?
Rachel:I know. He's, like, playing on his phone, playing solitaire on his
Natalie:phone waiting for them to show up.
Rachel:So he should they show up. And honestly, his rant here makes zero sense because Natalie has never actually said anything about any of this, but he's like hypocrite doctor. It's like he knew he was dying and his one last act on this earth was just to
Matt:Be petty to everyone.
Rachel:To be fucking petty, like to be petty to Nick and Natalie, because they haven't been pushed See how she's not good for you? You're still dying. She didn't cure you. That must mean she's a hypocrite. And he says, you proffer medicine, modern medicine as religion, but it is a false promise.
Rachel:You couldn't save your friend. So just so we're clear, he's blaming Natalie for not curing HIV, so there we go. You couldn't save your friend and you can't save us. Natalie's like a corner. She never made any of these promises.
Rachel:She was like, this will be an interesting challenge to see if I can help Nick, but she never claimed to be able to solve
Nick:any of these issues.
Matt:What a straw man LaCroix is building.
Rachel:Natalie, to her credit, is done. Like, her her fox flew away, and she has made no effort to retrieve them because he is yelling at her basically incomprehensively. And she goes, why are you so angry?
Matt:So is this the first conversation LaCroix and Natalie have had that which Natalie can remember?
Rachel:No. Because they met in night in question. Remember when he was like, I hope you tell him about who he is, about all of
Matt:who he is. When he when he lost his memories.
Rachel:Oh, I'm sorry. Did you not just know what I was talking about from the title?
Matt:I had to I had to go back.
Natalie:God.
Rachel:I've had taught you nothing. But after Nick or sorry. After Lacroix has his, I don't even know, his attempt to drive a wedge between Nick and Natalie, she asks him, why are you so angry? You're not sick. And Nick, who is totally used to Lacroix's bullshit, nobody acknowledges his accusations at all.
Rachel:They're like, yeah. Okay. Whatever. It's literally like he threw a tantrum, and they just watched him have his feelings. Sometimes it's okay.
Rachel:You gotta let you gotta have your feelings, and then we can talk. And so he has his feelings.
Matt:Right. And everybody waits very patiently
Rachel:Wait for him to finish up. Get it out. Get it out. And she's like, okay. Why are you angry?
Rachel:You're not sick. And Nick is like, but you were sick. Why are you not sick? And he goes, because I have stared death in the face, and I have called his bluff. Which means he has no comprehension that there is a connection between him killing Calvin and him getting better.
Matt:Right. So He just thinks he's so badass. He just got better.
Rachel:He's like, I'm fucking Lacroix. I you think a virus was gonna kill me? I beat it with sheer fucking awesomeness. I I trolled it out of my own body. I podcasted until I got better.
Rachel:I don't know what to tell you. I just know I'm better.
Matt:Everybody should be doing this.
Natalie:Yeah. I don't
Rachel:know why nobody else is doing
Natalie:that because, like, it was hard.
Rachel:Like, it was hard. It was fine. And so Natalie is the one who figures it out. She's like, okay. You killed Cal, which I'm sad about, but now you're better.
Rachel:And she's like, oh, shit. He said it in the precinct. HIV overwhelms it in the body. HIV is the cure for this disease. Right.
Rachel:Okay. It's I mean, it's fine.
Natalie:It's fine. It's fine. And Lacroix
Rachel:is literally like, hell, yeah. That's why I did it. That's it was a reward and a way of telling you that I knew better than you and that I knew HIV would kill it in the body. And she's like, what the fuck? It never looked like.
Rachel:And where do they get the HIV blood that they then go on and give to other people? Is it from Calvin? Or did they like
Matt:Okay. So he
Nick:I I
Matt:was thinking about how did this go down, like, after the revelation. Lacroix is like, okay. HIV blood cures it. I need to tell my surviving children.
Rachel:Yeah. This is not
Matt:the you know what? Look look, Claude going out to, like, the rest of his vampire community and being like, hey, If any of you all are feeling sick, you just gotta find someone with HIV and drink their blood. You'll get better. So is there, like, a rash of
Natalie:deaths? Oh, god. I that's
Rachel:the opposite of what they're going for. So let's just say no. They just took
Nick:a blood sample, infected it with HIV, and gave that out to everybody. We'll just
Rachel:go with
Natalie:a
Rachel:And this is really funny because after Lacroix insists that it was sheer manliness that allowed him to get better and Natalie figures it out, He says like, okay, his tainted blood will be our salvation. And then Natalie gives him this look. This look that is literally like, you are both an idiot and an asshole. And I am so fucking over that. How has Nick put up with you for this long?
Rachel:Spoiler alert, Nick has tried to not put up with
Matt:the clock. Nick's been running away for 100 of
Nick:years.
Natalie:Hundreds of years.
Rachel:And let me come back to Tracy and Vashon because Tracy has just been sitting with Vashawn. She doesn't know any of this stuff has happened. And Vashawn is like, you know what? You should probably go because I don't want you to watch me die. And she brings up like, oh, hey.
Rachel:Remember what you told me about what your master did when you were first changed? And he's like, oh, yeah. I think I said something like she rejoined the sun or some shit. Did you make it up? Is that why you can't remember it that far?
Rachel:Or
Matt:Hold on. Let me let me keep track of my lies.
Rachel:He's he's secretly just Larry, and he got changed
Natalie:at the truck stop, like, 25 years ago. He just made up this mystical story by himself as this conquistador. He's actually just
Matt:Just a regular guy.
Natalie:Just a regular guy.
Rachel:I mean, that's what I would do.
Natalie:I'd be like, yeah.
Rachel:I'm 800 years old. I'm sorry, but you still have a living family. Like, yeah. Distant relatives. No.
Rachel:No. It's your mom and dad.
Natalie:Shut up. I don't
Rachel:want to talk about it. So Vashawn is like, yeah. I always wondered what that would feel like. Tracy, you probably need to go because he spots Nick. And so Tracy leaves, and we hear, like, the the the the the her heels leaving.
Rachel:And then Nick comes around, and he's like, oh, I left out. I can't leave this out. Tracy kisses him on the lips because she thinks she's saying goodbye forever.
Nick:Right.
Rachel:And so she kisses him on the lips and then leaves. And then Nick comes around and he does, like, Ger does his patented, like, mhmm, eyebrows, like, mhmm, eyebrows. And then he sits down and Vashon is like, are you here to give me last rites? And Nick goes, oh, were you expecting a priest? And he's like, mm-mm.
Rachel:No. I wasn't. And then he pulls out a syringe, and he's like, give me your arm. So presumably, he chose to save Vashon. He didn't have to.
Rachel:He could've just been like, oh, whoopsies. I found the cure too late. Bye bye, Vashon. But he
Matt:So following up on my last comment on what happens with Lacroix after the revelation.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:This could be a total, like, vampire power move because anybody he doesn't like, he just has to, let them die.
Rachel:Yeah.
Matt:But ever okay. I think here's a way that it could have gone down where we don't have vampires just going out, killing HIV positive people. Yeah. Lacroix goes to every vampire that he wants to remain alive and tells them, I am so awesome that I have overcome this disease. Drink my blood, and you shall also be healed.
Nick:He could have
Rachel:done that. If you want an exploration of the long ranging effects of a vampire plague, watch Being Human. If you want that from forever night, don't want that from forever night.
Matt:Because we will have forgotten about
Natalie:this by the next episode.
Rachel:All gone in the next episode. All gone. All gone. Except Screed doesn't come back. We don't reckon that.
Rachel:Screed did. I did not remember him dying this early in the season, because I don't watch these in order. I just watched my favorites. So, like, I knew Screed died in this episode, but for some reason, I thought it was closer to the end. I don't know.
Rachel:He dies in episode 13 of 22. He's in, like, 4 episodes. We introduced this pretty cool character, and then we're like, no. No. He's not doing well with focus groups.
Rachel:We'll just kill that guy. So we come back to the graveyard. This is actually the 3rd episode that ends with Nick and Natalie in the graveyard.
Matt:Maybe that's how they sold it to their, corporate overlords. They're like, hey, we're gonna have this Corporate. We're gonna have this, you know, story Yeah. That you probably won't like. And they're like, yeah.
Matt:We we don't like it. We don't want you to do this story. Okay. But we're going to kill Screed. Oh, okay.
Matt:Well, Screed does not do well with the focus groups. So okay. We can trade.
Rachel:Yeah. On the Discord, we decided Screed lives in the reboot.
Natalie:Yeah. So
Matt:Spoiler.
Rachel:Spoiler alert. We come back to Nick and Natalie at the graveyard. This is actually the 3rd episode, I think, that ends with them at the graveyard, And they always have this really deep philosophical conversation at night at the graveyard, which just feels right. And so they're half assing this tree planting, this poor tree. It's like
Natalie:Just gets tossed. I was like It's like
Matt:1 or 2 shovels of dirt on top, and then they walk away. It's like, what are they even doing?
Rachel:What what graveyard allows you to plant a whole ass tree?
Matt:Oh, who who said anything about allowed? They they just show up and do stuff.
Rachel:Yeah. Well, they're planting this tree by Kelva's grave. And then Natalie walks off because she's like, I can't stand watching him do manly stuff in a turtleneck. I need to go stand over by a tree for a little bit. And Nick is like, oh, Natalie, wait.
Rachel:When Lacroix asked you why? And she goes, you mean why save vampires? And Nick is like, yeah. Because otherwise Lacroix would have been the only survivor and that would have sucked. So I'm thankful that you saved us, but also why?
Rachel:And she goes, you know, there are people who still believe that AIDS isn't worth curing and that people like Calvin aren't worth saving. There are still people who believe that AIDS isn't worth curing. And who am I to decide who should live and who should die?
Natalie:Why save vampires? Why not let them die? You know, there are still some people who think that AIDS isn't worth curing, that men like Calvin Tucker aren't worth saving.
Rachel:Who are they to decide that?
Natalie:Oh, my.
Rachel:I can't decide why bad things happen to good people, and I can't choose who deserves to be cured and who doesn't. So if I knew it, I was obligated to share it. And then we cut to Vashon singing and burying Screed, and he's singing the same sea shanty that Screed was singing at the very beginning. And he's like, I told you I'd dance on your grave because he's singing and patting the dirt down. And then he goes, see you in hell, sailor.
Rachel:And he's drinking a bottle of blood. And I just want to point out that in this moment, his hair actually looks like real hair
Matt:because Just think about the lighting.
Rachel:Well, the wind has shifted his bangs off of his forehead, and it's actually blowing his hair slightly. And it makes me feel like maybe this isn't a wig. Maybe he showed up with this hairstyle, and they were like, well, we don't have the budget to fix that. So just gonna leave it be. Although I think we might be I don't know.
Rachel:I was cruising around on Tumblr. I don't know why. Because I was like, maybe there's people on Tumblr talking about forever night. Because I'm always in search of is it is like forever night in the zeitgeist anywhere? Because I can't figure out how this entire show has sort of both disappeared and yet remained prevalent in the people that loved it.
Rachel:And as soon as people discover it, they're like, well, where was that? Why, why did I not know that until now? Most people. Matt. So, but, like, are people talking about this?
Rachel:Anyway, I was cruising around on Tumblr and somebody made had had made a series series of memes, which I think I'll post later, and it was like cinnamon roll. It must have been like a thing, like a trend, you know, we're doing, like, So there was, like, a cinnamon roll that actually is a cinnamon roll, and that was skanky. And then there was, like, looks like he might kill you, but it's actually a cinnamon roll, and that was Nick. And then there was looks like he might kill you and will actually kill you, and that was LaCroix. And then
Natalie:there was one that was
Rachel:just cinnamon roll, but with an s I n, like cinnamon roll, and it was and it was a picture of that Sean shirtless from Black Buddha when he comes out
Natalie:of Tracy's shower. That's like, Wait. Wait.
Rachel:Are there people who like fish sauce? That doesn't feel right. Does it feel right? Okay. You know what?
Rachel:If I just I lament his hair so much because I don't think the actor is unattractive. And, yeah, I can see the cinnamon roll point when he's shirtless.
Natalie:I've never seen
Rachel:but then he switches directly to nineties mom hair, and I'm out. Like, I'm just I'm fucking out. I don't know. Anyway, is his hair real? Questions.
Rachel:Questions that need answering, but we'll never get an answer. So while we ponder these truly meaningful questions of the universe, I guess we'll just leave it here, unless you have something you wanna say.
Matt:Nope. I never do.
Rachel:Just like to keep asking. 1 of these stage, you're gonna be like, yes. I do actually help.
Matt:Every once in a while, I do. This But maybe not on forever night episodes.
Rachel:Yeah. This episode was definitely like, okay. This has gotten more meaningful. And I don't hate the way they handled it. I definitely think it feels like some nineties shows were clearly just flying by the seat of their pants, and it's very, like, no gods, no rules.
Rachel:We do what we want. And this felt very, no gods, no rules. We do what we want. And yet I think it worked out for them. I think it ends up feeling like we were making a commentary about a really important thing that was happening in the world when we made this episode, and we made it so we redirected it so skillfully to like, the vampires are dying, and are they worth saving?
Rachel:And is disease and death a side effect of some divine will or not that you're like, okay. I can kind of see that also being a commentary on, like, 2020 and how people handed handled COVID and the fact that it was made into this thing that it never needed to be made into. And I appreciate that. I appreciate that it hasn't gotten to be like, oh, that's like a nineties time capsule. It's so dated.
Rachel:It's like, oh, okay. I see what you were trying to say, and I feel like it's still something that needs to be said because apparently, we haven't learned that lesson. Because I think I speak for a lot of people who grew up in the nineties, but the narrative like, oh, Africa has such a high percentage of AIDS cases because God has passed judgment on them, and he's wiping them out like God did during the during the flood. And you look back on it like the actual shit. Who even thinks that?
Rachel:Like, people are dying and they're people. And like Natalie said, who are we to get to decide who lives and who dies? We don't. Spoiler alert. We are not as as like, when we talked to George Paxanos.
Rachel:We interviewed this neurologist, fairly famous neurologist, on Strange and Beautiful Book Club, and he was talking about how we're actually not as sophisticated as we think we are.
Nick:Mhmm.
Rachel:And it's true. It's very true. We think we are these really highly intelligent elevated beings, and then something like this happens, and we're all like, I think God did it. And you're like, okay. We're not we're not who we think we are.
Rachel:So before I fall down any further in that rabbit hole, go listen to the George Paxanos episode. It was really good. On Strange and Beautiful Book Club. We had a lot of fun talking to him. He's a little fatalist, but he was still good.
Rachel:I mean, I get it. You spend your entire life trying to make the world a better place, and it doesn't work, and you're like, oh, shit. Handy tip. If you email him, he will send you a free copy of his audio book. So if you wanna read his book, but you don't wanna pay for it, it's also, like, up and available for free on his university website page.
Matt:Yeah.
Rachel:So just gonna leave that there. A little bit of a strange and beautiful book club promo because, you know, we do more than 1 podcast. We do like a bunch because I just can't shut up, apparently. But until next time, friends.
Matt:Bye.
LaCroix:They say the ages of man are denial, awareness, and acceptance. A young man believes he will live forever. A middle aged man knows he will not. And an old man is ready. What then of those taken out of sequence?
LaCroix:How to prepare them for the bitter end? A man who knows he will not die is a young man. He is kept young by the knowledge that death shall have no dominion. There's nothing so hard as watching that die.