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The Silvercore Podcast explores the mindset and skills that build capable people. Host Travis Bader speaks with hunters, adventurers, soldiers, athletes, craftsmen, and founders about competence, integrity, and the pursuit of mastery, in the wild and in daily life. Hit follow and step into conversations that sharpen your edge.
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Language: en-GB
I'm Travis Bader and this
it's the Silvercore Podcast.
Silvercore has been providing its
members with a skills and knowledge
necessary to be confident and proficient
in the outdoors for over 20 years.
And we make it easier for people to deepen
their connection to the natural world.
If you enjoy the positive and educational
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following so that you can join in on
everything that Silvercore stands for.
If you'd like to learn more
about becoming a member of the
Silvercore Club and community,
visit our website at silvercore.ca
so I'm joined today by
a man who has a mission.
2025.
It's his goal to be able to
run across Canada and break the
world record for doing that.
He's got a website it's such in
motion.ca S a C H I N M OT IO, n.ca.
He's raising money for honor house to
raise awareness for PTSD and for veterans.
Welcome to the Silvercore
Podcast, Sachin Latti.
Thanks for having me brother.
I appreciate it.
Holy Crow.
so I, I get this message from
longtime supporter of Silvercore
and the Silvercore Podcast,.
Jared S Gaetti.
Yep.
So he works or worked up until recently
at the range Langley Canada's largest
indoor range, and he sends a message
over he's like, Travis, are you following
the stories that Huon has on Instagram
and I'm, and I'm in the middle of a
few other things and I'm so I quickly,
I go over to it and there's a slew
of stories up and I go click, click,
click, click, click, click, click.
And one of 'em there's Jared wearing
a Silvercore core hat and he's sitting
down with you and I'm like, oh, okay.
I guess that's what he's saying.
He's like, Hey, look at
me, I'm wearing some swag.
And so I'm texting back real quick.
I'm like, Hey, look at sharp.
He's like, no, no, no, not me.
Suchin.
Listen to what he has to say.
So I started going through
there, seeing what you're doing.
Very very ambitious.
So you've got 18 years in law enforcement
and you're obviously very fit.
You're looking, looking very fit.
Thank you.
Appreciate that.
and you've got a number of runs that
you've already gotten under your belt,
uh, a hundred kilometers at a time, and
you're building up to 2025 to do this
rather ambitious run across Canada.
So that'd be from Newfoundland
Terry Fox statue over to
Vancouver, Terry Fox statue.
I think the current
record on that is what?
67 days, 10 hours in an undisclosure
number of minutes by a guy
by the name of Dave Proctor.
Yeah.
Exceptional guy named Dave Proctor.
Have you talked with him?
I have not.
I have a few friends that have okay.
And they've nothing but glowing,
um, comments about the guy, right.
And like a awesome person.
Um, Just a, a good person,
like a nice person.
Well, Jared was thinking, he says,
you know, everything you're trying
to do with the Silvercore Podcast,
you're trying to spread positivity,
raise awareness, uh, people who
enjoy the outside world as you do.
I mean, running's not an indoor activity
unless you get a treadmill, right.
yeah.
And it's not as fun.
No, what, what culminated, what, what
caused this spark in you to, to light?
That's a long story and it's
a good question for sure.
Um, I'd say it probably all started
right before the pandemic kicked.
Okay.
So I was going up, I was married.
Okay.
And, uh, I was going through a separation
and divorce and I would say I was probably
the squeaky wheel in that marriage.
Mm.
So it, it, it, um, it caused me
to unplug and reflect on a lot
of things that I contributed to.
mm-hmm and I came to the realization
that I wanted to just be a better person.
Okay.
And be a better person
for everyone around me.
So that's what started things.
Okay.
In terms of like, just wanting to have a
better, more positive outlook on things.
So I gotta imagine that there
is gonna be a gradual decline in
your outlook on life at that time.
I mean that it's gonna take its toll.
And it's funny.
I, we were talking about this earlier,
before the podcast that for a podcast
of deals with, uh, hunting, fishing,
outdoors people, and businesses
that comprised community, how many.
Times mental health comes
up in just our discussions.
And I don't think it's an unusual thing
to what I'm doing here on the podcast.
I think everybody's dealing with something
to one degree or another, and I think the,
uh, pandemic and the stressors associated
with that have helped amplify that.
Where were you at?
Like what?
Oh man.
holy moly.
Uh, worst time of my life.
Yeah.
Mentally for sure.
Because I was, I was presented
with what kind of person I was.
Mm.
And I wasn't happy with that.
So, I mean, look, the reality was I
wasn't, I thought I was a good husband.
Mm.
You know, I was doing, going through
the motions, doing, you know, paying
the bills, taking care of my, do
all these, these types of things.
Sure.
But I wasn't engaged into
the marriage and good or bad.
I stepped out on various occasions and.
And my ex-wife didn't
deserve any of those things.
She was, she's a good person.
Awesome mother.
And, um, I felt extremely
terrible because I'm not that guy.
And I was, I, I started asking myself
question, what's what's going on here?
Why, why am I self-destructive?
And that was just one element
of the self directive behavior.
I had many, many, many other
ones , you know, I think we all
do this some degree or another
don't we, and you gotta question.
Why is that?
What, what is it that draws a
person in to be self-destructive?
Yeah, like, I guess not
everybody's like that.
Some people are really good at being
able to identify and some people, certain
paths start going down and they have a
hard time stopping regrouping, turning
around and picking a different path.
Mm-hmm well, for me, my
ego was outta control.
Mm.
I had a self, no, I had a inflated ego.
Mm.
And an ego that, um, What was it my
self worth and self confidence, all
these things were not really where
they should have been or at least
where I would've wanted them to be.
Right.
And so I inflated my ego to
a degree that was like, holy
moly, this is outta control ego.
I thought it was the, I
thought I knew everything.
Kinda like a protective mechanism.
Yeah, absolutely.
You just absolutely put the
armor up and can't be hurt.
And, and that's how I function
throughout my entire life.
Mm-hmm and actually I was talking
to a friend of mine, Sean Taylor.
Yeah.
And, and he was, we know Sean.
Yeah.
Well, he's more than a friend for
me, but he was mentioning to me that,
um, Your, you know, he was straight
up, told me your ego's inflated.
And, um, you've just never been
challenged throughout your entire life.
And you've kind of navigated through
that and it's actually protected you
and, you know, et cetera, cetera, cetera.
Mm.
So anyways, long story is short.
I, um, I didn't really know how to kind
of get out of the mud mess that I created.
And like, I, I was just stuck in it.
Like I was, I was, I was stuck.
Right.
And, um, I didn't have any
idea how to get out of it.
So I had no at the time I didn't
really have any safe spaces either.
So like in terms of where I was living.
So when we were going through the
divorce, it was during the pandemic
and we had a basement suite.
So we didn't want anyone else
to rent it because they could
squat and blah, blah, blah.
Right.
So I ended up moving into the basin
suite of the house that I bought with
my ex-wife and was paying rent for two
years with my daughter living upstairs.
And I, you know, You know, it just
was an uncomfortable environment to
be in for a long duration of time.
And at that time I was also working
obviously, and the pandemic was in a full
effect and our workplace was doing a sort
of, um, a work rotation where not everyone
would be in the workplace all the time.
So you would be on work for a
couple weeks and then you would
work from home for a couple weeks
or like things of that nature.
Right.
Right.
So.
I'd be sitting at home, I'd
be in the basement suite.
I'd be by myself the entire time and
I wasn't going out and I was starting
to wallow and really get really
deeper and deeper and deeper into the
toxic thinking that I was in mm-hmm
And, um, at that time I, you know, I was
still working out, was still working.
I was still doing everything,
but I was keeping it together
just by the skin of my teeth.
Right.
You know what I mean?
And, uh, you know, I, I hadn't
started running at this point yet
and I had started buying some books.
I wasn't a huge reader.
Okay.
Actually, I wasn't a reader.
I mean, I'd really like, not like, not
like I would imagine you or Sean Taylor
or a sub of war, these types of people.
Um, I, no, I wasn't, you know, I'll
tell you a secret, uh, on reading.
I don't know if it's a byproduct
of the ADHD or what I've got about
30 books on the go right now.
Not one of them is finished and not
all of them are started in chapter one.
right.
It's just all through there.
And I go real quick, try and find
what's going to keep that interest.
Where's the value.
And then the second that kind
of WANs I'm onto the next one.
And at some point I'm sure I'll
complete them all, but, uh, yeah.
Well, I'm kind of like that now.
Okay.
I'm kinda like that now.
Yeah.
So I have about, I don't have that
many books on my, on my table,
but I have 'em on my coffee table.
I've got about 10 or 15 books there.
Right.
And in the morning when I have
coffee, I'll just grab one and
just kind of peruse through it.
And depending on what I'm feeling
at the moment, I might just stick
with like lately it's been a mental
health book I've been reading.
Okay.
Um, just stick my mood, whatever it is.
I'll just pick it up.
But not having said that I,
at that time when I was going
through all the mass, yeah.
I was like, shit, man, what do gotta do?
So I, I, I went and I'm,
uh, all in type of fellow.
Right.
I, I, you strike me as an all
in type of fellow and, uh, I
obsess and, and things like that.
And so I went on a rabbit hole
with Jordan Peterson for a while.
Okay.
And, um, and then I went on rabbit
hole with jock welling for a while.
Mm.
And then I, uh, picked up extreme
ownership and I read that.
Okay.
And, um, so after reading that
book, I took some ownership of a
few things in my life and, um, I
wanted to own my responsibility
and the marriage and what I did.
So we had a nice house.
I didn't, I didn't, um, I wanted my
daughter to have a nice house too.
Right.
So, you know, my ex-wife and
my daughter in the house, and
I'm happy that they're there.
Um, Financially.
It didn't work out for me in that
regard, but mm-hmm, , I'm absolutely
ecstatic on how it turned out now,
after a couple years have passed now.
Okay.
Um, so I read extreme ownership.
Yeah.
So I, I own that.
And then, um, you know, I read a few
more books and then I picked up can't
hurt me, uh, Goggins book, David
Goggins it, and sorry to interrupt
here, but isn't it funny how your
life can completely change a second?
You own, whatever it is
that's happening to you.
Mm-hmm like we were talking about
something earlier before the podcast
and you're like, oh, I'm really
sorry that, uh, that happened.
I said why?
And once you're able to fully own
whatever it is, that's happening to
you, you author your own destiny.
Yeah.
Well, I'm, I'm, I'm
experiencing that in real time.
Cool.
Right.
So like, even in this conversation, I
might have a revelation or come to a
realization of something, cuz that's
been happening to me regularly when I
speak to people mm-hmm and I see things.
When I start talking, I start
realizing things in that moment.
Sometimes we are connected in
a very interesting way, humans.
That is I've, I'm learning that more
and more, the more podcasts we do there,
there's an interconnectivity to these
different things that, uh, I don't think
is by happenstance or coincidence, and
is probably very likely due to how we
start changing our outlooks and how
we start, uh, comporting ourselves and
thinking mm-hmm and you find that birds
of a feather start to flock together
and your, your circles tend to change.
And you're how you're able to actually
affect what happens to you in real time.
Like you're saying becomes very
tangible mm-hmm and I agree a
hundred percent I'm and I'm seeing
that I'm experiencing it right now.
Um, my circle is, is changing.
My friends of 18 years
are no longer around me.
Mm.
And, and no negativity to anybody.
It's just, just the way the
reality is, you know, change.
Yeah.
People change, evolve, and
move in different directions
and some change with you.
Some don't that's okay.
And I think on the path that I'm on,
most people, uh, I don't know, like
it's, it might be a lonely journey
for a couple more years for me.
I suspect, I don't know.
It's, it's all uncertain to be honest.
Sure.
Anyway, so I, I, I was reading
that Goggins book, full disclosure.
I read the first two chapters and
I didn't finish it, but I got enough
what I wanted out of it at that moment.
Right.
And, uh, what I got out of it was like,
well resonated with me cuz some of the
experiences that he had as a child.
Mm.
And then, um, resonated with me
cuz I, I, my ego was very inflated.
Right.
And I was like, ah, yeah,
I, I fashioned myself.
I thought I was an individual like that.
And like, I wanted to be
something like that and right.
And um, so I was like, okay,
so what do I not like to do?
And, um, I don't like running and
I hadn't ran since high school.
I'm 44.
Now last time I ran was.
When I was 17, 18 years old.
Sure.
And, um, so I was like, okay, cool.
And I was a bodybuilder too before, right.
So I was lifting lots of
weight back in the day.
Yeah.
And I was, I just, I was doing,
and for five or six years,
I've been training jujitsu.
So I thought my Cardi was decent,
so I never really ran mm-hmm and,
um, so I, I started, uh, I just, I
didn't have any frame of reference
I didn't know what I was doing.
And I, as an individual myself, I
don't connect with people often.
I haven't in the past.
Right.
Mm-hmm that was just a
really, like, I had friends.
Sure.
But, but it you're an individual.
Yeah.
That's okay.
Yeah.
And, and, um, so I scheduled myself
to do like three, five Ks a week.
Mm-hmm like Monday, Wednesday,
Friday kind of thing.
And you know, again, I
had no frame of reference.
My times were what they were and they
weren't exceptional or anything, but
I didn't know what was exceptional it
was like 35, 40 minutes for a 5k.
Okay.
Whatever.
Sure.
Right.
Yeah.
And, um, but I, I stuck with it.
Um, I don't know why I stuck with it.
I just did
Was it difficult to stick to,
or it was extremely difficult.
Okay.
I wasn't a runner.
And, um, do you think that
might be why you stuck with it?
That's a good question.
Let me think about that.
Yeah.
There's a possibility of that.
I think because I didn't, I I've
never quit anything physical.
Sure.
Physically I've never quit anything.
Right.
And, um, so there, maybe
there's an element of that.
And, and I, it, I saw it as a problem
and I was trying to solve the problem.
So, like, for example, let's say
for example, I'm running and my, my
glutes are tighter than normal and
I don't know what's going on here.
And so I'll problem solve it.
Okay.
Maybe instead of quitting, I would
say, okay, maybe I need to do
this to help relieve that issue.
Mm, just kind of problem solve it.
Right.
And it, and I kept doing that.
And so, but mind you again, no clue.
So I would first ran with like a
10 pair, 10 year old pair of shoes.
Right.
And then, and I kept, I was using those
shoes for the first couple months.
Right.
And they were 10 years old.
Yeah.
Now that might sound normal for
everyone, but it's absolutely
not, not, not for a runner.
No, no, absolutely not.
So I, I started in, uh, within about two
months and I'm a goal type of guy mm-hmm
so I like setting, uh, goals all the time.
And um, so I set a goal for me in right
at the beginning and I was like, okay,
I wanna be able be able to run 21 K.
Um, now, so, um, I went and ran 21.
It wasn't pretty, it
was, it was pretty ugly.
Yeah.
And after I'd done that, and as
you can imagine, going through the
divorce separation, my self esteem, my
confidence, my self worth, all the things
were in the dumps mm-hmm and I felt
like a piece of garbage to be honest.
Sure.
I can see that.
And, um, you know, I was really alone.
Cause most of my friends weren't
really engaging with me and didn't
really kind of understand me.
So I was, you know, I was running and I
was doing these things and I ran this 21
K and um, I felt really good about doing
that and made me feel good about myself.
Right.
Cause I did something
that no one told me to do.
No one forced me to do it.
I got up and did it and something
that I never thought in a
million years I would even do.
And that gave me something.
But that wasn't enough.
No, it.
Wasn't I, you know, as we're going
through here, I, I, I have a question
that I, the second that I started
looking at what you're doing, I'm
gonna save it for a little bit.
Okay.
Because you've got a story
here that you're telling and
it's very, it's interesting.
Like you were talking before
about a, the hero's journey.
Yeah.
Right.
I, I remember I.
Joseph Conrad referencing
the hero's journey.
And what did he write?
Hearted darkness.
Mm-hmm , uh, star wars mm-hmm is
based on the hero's journey.
So, so many different things are,
are based on the hero's journey.
And what you're telling right
now is it is very similar.
It's very similar, extremely similar.
And, um, and I didn't even know that
it was even like, I, I didn't know,
hero's journey was even a term until
I started reading and I talked,
started talking to my friend, Sean.
Yeah.
And, um, so, uh, yeah, I did
that and I was like, oh cool.
And there's also, you know, stories
behind me doing it, but mm-hmm , I
mean, it's, I don't wanna get in the
weeds about that kind of stuff, but the
21 K it, it drove me and I did that.
And then I said, I
wanted to set more goals.
Okay.
And I wanted to achieve
higher, higher goals.
And, um, so I just kept
kind of grinding it out.
Jujitsu had, uh, because of the
pandemic jujitsu was . Right.
So then I took another dive because,
um, as you can imagine, or some of your
listeners might understand that, uh, when
you're dealing with some mental health
issues, depression, or whatever, the thing
is, um, connection is an, an extremely
important piece connecting with people
not being alone and jujitsu was that for
me and I, when I was going to jujitsu,
even though I wasn't hanging out with my
friends or anything like that, jujitsu
was that for me mm-hmm and I would, I
would go hang out with my, my friends,
my partners, and training partners.
And, um, I would connect
with them and that was taken
away because of the pandemic.
And that was a hot mess for me.
I broke down, um, like cry,
like, I mean, I was crying like.
Like legitimately, like just broke
down and based on the lack of social
human connection, I was, man, it
got to a point where I was so alone.
I just wanted to hug somebody.
Yeah.
Like, honestly, man, like just thinking
about it, it makes me feel not good.
I hear it.
I, I, uh, I would call a friend of mine.
I, Hey, can I just come
over for a hug or something?
Like, I like, that's how
fricking terrible I was feeling.
Right.
And, um, man.
Yeah, it was, it, it was rough go.
And um, so anyways, I, I, like I said,
I set goals mm-hmm and I listened to
podcast and I was trying to learn as
much as I could from different areas.
And like most people, a lot of people
listen to Joe Rogan's podcast or some
people anyway, and I was listening
to his, I heard he is got a podcast.
It's pretty good.
I've heard it's alright.
Is it popular?
It's decent.
he had this kind of cool guy on there
that I was listening to Cameron Haynes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, um, And I've obviously
heard campaigns quite a
few times on his podcast.
Mm-hmm , but this particular
moment kind of really stuck with
me because he's in his fifties.
And when he is training for an ultra,
he's running a marathon a day and I
was like, forget that I can do that.
Yeah.
Or why can't I do that?
Well, one man, be able to do that.
Well, one man can do another can do.
Right.
So that's what I was thinking.
Right.
Right.
So like, it, it was, if I didn't know,
that was a thing I wouldn't even know.
It was a thing.
Okay.
Yeah.
So now I know it's a thing I
brought it on the radar.
Yeah.
Basically.
Yeah.
And, and, um, so I was like,
okay, how do I do that?
How do I get myself to run 42 K a day?
Okay.
Let me think about it.
So then I set up a plan to do that
or not that would've been very
lofty at the very beginning mm-hmm
So the initial goal was to
do 21 K a day for seven.
That's still pretty lofty.
Yes.
So I didn't know how to do that.
And I didn't hire anyone the whole
first year was me just grinding.
Yeah.
And figuring it out all on my own.
Not smart at all.
Did you sustain injuries
through that process?
Nothing substantial.
Okay.
Nothing substantial.
Um, you know, little things here and
there, but nothing, nothing crazy.
And, um, so I said that a goal to do
that and, uh, it took me about 10 weeks.
So I would do 10 K a day.
No, it started with 11.
I started with 11 K a day and every
week I would add a kilometer to it.
So 11, 12, 13 for, until it's 21.
K.
And then I got to 21 K and
I did that for the week.
And again, it wasn't pretty, but I did it.
I was working full time,
still going to work every day.
Wow.
a daughter who's three or
four, going through a divorce,
going through all these things.
And I still did that.
So for me, that was like, oh
man, it made me feel good.
Totally.
That I was able to accomplish
something like that.
And then some, I was still at work.
So some of the people I was
working with were seeing that.
Right.
And they're like, holy shit.
Right.
What's going on here.
Right.
And so then, but again, I was in
my own head doing my own thing.
And then I started thinking,
there's gotta be a way that we can
leverage this for more positivity.
Cuz I'm doing something
now here I'm running.
I there's something, it
just came to my head.
I gotta do something here.
Mm-hmm and I don't know why that came up.
I don't know the reason why I was
thinking about that, but it just did.
And I decided to.
Run a hundred K mm-hmm and raise
money for the BCU Legion for veterans
and first responders RCMP with PTSD.
Mm.
And, um, never fundraised
in my entire life.
Right.
Never did anything for anyone else,
other than my job, which isn't really,
it is doing something for other
people, but there's levels, I think.
Sure.
And, um, and I didn't look at my
job as that mm-hmm as service,
like you're in the service industry.
Right.
But you're still getting paid for it.
Yeah.
It's still a job.
Yeah.
And it's different.
It it's, it's, it's a different thing.
It's not quite as selfless.
Right.
And, um, and it got to the point where I
was going in for a paycheck essentially.
Mm.
You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm I lost my, I hate that.
Yeah.
I lost my purpose.
I lost, I was disillusioned
all these things.
So that's, that's an interesting one.
You bring up on purpose and that's
gonna allude to my question.
Oh, you got it, bro.
I got, I got it.
I got it all full for you.
um, so yeah, I, uh, So I started now.
So I set that essentially the a hundred K
and the raising the money is another goal.
Right?
Mm-hmm so I set that goal and I was like,
okay, I wanna do that for remembrance day.
Uh, it's gonna be called run to remember.
Mm.
Uh, it was on the 7th of November, 2021.
And I started fundraising
in August of 2021.
Okay.
And from August to September, I
raised $21,000 and never, never.
Ever in my life ever
doing anything like that.
And it was all through
social media and it was all.
And then from, um, uh, word of
mouth from other people mm-hmm and
then eventually, uh, global news
ended up doing a story on me.
I saw that.
Yes.
And, and they did a couple stories
or whatever, and, um, which was
extremely helpful to get the word out.
Sure.
Cause like, maybe like a day
before the story went out,
it was about eight, $9,000.
And then within a week it was
like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Wow.
After the news.
Wow.
And, um, so I want to thank Ramina day
after that, cuz she was instrumental and
connected with me and she, um, wanted
to get the story out there at that time.
Awesome.
And um, so again, I, you know, trying
to plan the run, doing the run, all
these different things happening all at
the same time, under a lot of stress,
um, and I ran from Chillo P RTC.
The, uh, yeah, I ran from PR TC.
Yeah.
To Vancouver airport.
That's gonna be a hundred K right there.
Yeah.
And I did that in, um,
14 hours and 58 minutes.
Wow.
Um, on a, I pulled my
hamstring the week before.
And so luckily it was, it was still,
it was manageable, but I had it, I
got it worked done and everything.
And, but, um, yeah, so I did
that and that, uh, changed
my entire perspective on it.
Gave me a significant paradigm
shift in perspective on everything.
How, so
my friend said, so, says
something all the time.
And I like to say it sometimes too.
meaningful things with meaningful people.
Yes.
He does say that.
Doesn't he?
Yeah.
And, um, so I, I wanted more
meaning in my life I felt, um, it
just didn't have any meaning, man.
I was, I felt just like, I
was just not doing anything.
Mm.
I was just kinda living a life.
I was waiting to die.
You know, when you see people like
just they're going paycheck and
doing their thing, and they're
not really doing anything.
It's just a, it's a sad life, right?
It's uh, what's the term NPC.
Have you heard that one?
No.
Uh, people call a person an NPC.
It's a video game term.
They see they're a non playable character.
Okay.
They just, they're just, they're there.
Yeah.
They're doing their thing.
Yeah.
The story's not about them.
Yeah.
And I, I, I just wanted more
meaning in my life and yeah, I
was, I had a daughter and I have a
daughter and I love her to, to sure.
Everything.
And, uh, and, and, but for
me, that's not my purpose.
Isn't my daughter.
Mm-hmm right.
My, like, she's my
daughter and I love her.
And, but she's got her
own purpose and yeah.
I have my own purpose.
Yeah.
And so I, and I've, I've seen
my parents and other family and
cultures and whatever, and yeah.
Their purpose was me and my brother.
And what I've noticed when my
parents put all their things into us.
it gave too much of a pressure
or, or, um, it was too much.
You don't have your child as your
purpose cuz now that no, your happiness
is derived through your child.
Well, when you're the one who's
supposed to control all of your
own happiness, all of your own joy.
So I realized that over the last
six months, mm-hmm that, um,
I love my daughter, but she's
not the source of my happiness.
Mm-hmm I am right.
And it has to be that way.
You should never give away.
What's the term abrogate control, uh,
you should, of your joy or your pain.
Mm.
To a third party.
Mm-hmm I'm happy because
you came here today.
I'm upset because you did this.
Well, no, I'm I'm upset
because I choose to be upset.
What you did was something that
I may have taken offense to,
but that's me taking offense.
That's me taking those points.
And if we give an external, a third party,
the ability to make us happy, we are by
default giving them the control to make.
Sad.
Absolutely.
And I never realized that before.
Mm.
So I lived a life kind of like that.
And then slowly over the last
two or three years, I've kind
of been shifting out of that.
But I, anyway, so I ran that a hundred
K and I was, uh, definitely changed
my life and the way I looked at
things, but I was extremely desperate
still mm-hmm, very, very dark.
Mm.
And I didn't know what,
what to do with my life.
Did you recognize as dark or do you look
back and recognize it as being dark?
Because I've talked to a lot of people
and they say, you know, when I was in it.
I just figured I was in it.
I didn't really, I was just going
through the motions and yeah.
Things are rough.
But when I look back between cuz
everything's balanced, right, the
whole yin and yang, when you can see
light and you can see the darkness
and how bad it is by comparison.
Right?
No, I knew I was messed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I knew, man.
I, I, I got medicated.
I had a major depressive episode.
I had to go to the doctor,
like the whole nine yards.
Yeah.
Like I was not good.
Yeah.
Like, and I'm not that guy . Yeah.
Like, like I'm not that
anything wrong with that.
But for me it was very strange.
Like I, I, there was a period of time.
I wasn't sleeping and my stress
levels were outta control.
I had multiple injuries because of
the stress tore my bicep complete
off and that's tore it off.
Holy Crow.
Yeah.
You can see that.
I, uh, um, You know, multiple
different things that were, uh,
and I, 70% tore my tricep tendon.
Were you just pushed in too much weight?
It wasn't even that no, the stress
was so high cortisol levels.
So high that any sort of little small
movements while I was like, I was
trained jujitsu, but nothing excessive.
Right.
And things like that would happen.
Wow.
So I wasn't sleeping much.
I was sleeping two or three hours a night.
Mm-hmm um, I was, the anxiety
was just overwhelming, man.
Like I couldn't stop thinking.
Mm.
It got to the point where I was like, man,
I need to, like, I never really did much
cannabis or smoked or anything like that.
Mm.
And I would start doing edibles just
to turn down the volume in my head.
Mm.
It wasn't so much getting me high.
Like I would, when it was even, and this
is while I'm still running mind you.
Right.
I would take a 20 milligram or a 30
milligram, uh, like edible and run.
Wow, because not because I, I wanna feel
high's cuz I would be thinking too much.
So I wanted to turn the volume down so
I could actually just get a two hour
run in or an hour and a half run in.
Mm.
So that's how messed up I was.
Cause now I don't, I don't, none of
that needs to be, it needs to happen.
Does running help turn the volume down?
Absolutely it does.
But at that point it was just too much.
It was, it was, it was too much.
Yeah, it was just too much.
And um, like a major
depressive episode for me.
I was like, what is going on here, man?
Like, I was like shaking
at the doctor's office.
Yeah.
And, um, Anyway.
So we got the medication and, and, and
that was a trip for me because I never
take those types of medications before.
And it, it doesn't have such a stigma.
I never take those types of medications.
Yeah.
Even just talking about it
like that, there's a stigma
associated with it, actually.
You know what, and let me
rephrase that or reframe it
because you're absolutely right.
And I think, um, there's nothing
wrong with taking medication.
If you, if, if it's required for a certain
period of time to help you get situated.
Right.
And, you know, I needed
medication at that time.
Like I sure.
Like absolutely.
And, um, it helped the first week
didn't it was terrible if you've
ever had any medication like that.
Well, the doctor goes to listen to this
man, the doctor goes, yeah, you're gonna
have some side effects, four or five
days, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And like, they always say
that and I'm like, okay, cool.
I can handle it now way man
kicked me in the ass really bad.
Huh?
Like, like never like
just amped up the uh, no.
So the side effects were nausea,
headache, extremely lethargic.
Like I was tired all the time
for like four or five days
and then it just stopped.
Huh?
It was like just a chemical imbalance.
Like I guess the chemicals that are
going through the brain, they're
just restructuring things and, and,
and, and it took about four or five
days for it to kinda Latize right.
And then I, it just like
a S Sri or something.
Yeah.
Something it was, uh,
I'll tell you what it was.
Cymbalta.
Okay.
Yeah.
And, um, so yeah, so I, uh, that
happened and , uh, I'm still lost
and then lucky for me, a lot of
people, not a lot of people, just
very, some very special people.
Um, well, so my friend said he's
been a friend of mine for about,
I don't know, four years or so.
Hmm.
And, um, I saw him about, oh, it
was last year just after the run.
I saw him and Sean
Taylor go to, um, Haiti.
that's right.
Yes.
And I was at work still at the time
and they had come back from Haiti
and I'm, I saws with this guy.
I'm who's, who's this guy maybe
a few months before that.
I, I found out who he was
maybe in the summertime.
And on that time, I'm
like, who is this guy?
So I goes Instagram and I'm like, uh, tier
one operator, Warren officer bumbling,
my way through life, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, holy shit.
Okay.
Let me take a look at this guy.
Mm-hmm . And so I was tracking him
a little bit, see who he was and I
like I've, I've been around and I
know what JTF two is, and I know what
a, I know what he is and who he is.
Mm-hmm and, and understood the caliber
of that type of individual and what
they may be mm-hmm before I met him.
Mm-hmm . And so, anyways, so, and
then while I was doing the runs
before the November 7th, he would,
you know, message me or I'll message
him and he'd say, oh yeah, good.
You know, whatever.
Right.
Yeah.
And so anyways, that's part of
what he does now still, is he
coaches high performance athletes?
Yes.
So, so, um, he, uh, So he, I, I wanted
to connect with him cuz I thought he's,
I thought I could connect with someone.
Mm.
Like I thought maybe I could connect
with a tier one operator maybe cuz
I'm just, something's a little bit
different about me and I'm doing
sure, really excessive stuff.
Maybe there's a connection there
mm-hmm so when he was, uh, at the
airport, his flight got canceled
to Rosalyn because of the weather,
it was a snow or whatever it was.
I can, it was snowing.
It was and, and um, so I, I saw
that he, and he likes to post on
his Instagram mm-hmm frequently.
I think he's in and around
3,500 posts now for 3,200.
Yep.
And uh, and um, so he posted
something and I was like, Hey
man, uh I'm I'm, I'm here at work.
I'm finishing up here.
You want to go for, grab
a coffee or something?
Actually, no, that's not true.
I said, you wanna go grab a beer?
Right.
And he's like, yeah, sure.
But, uh, let's go grab a coffee.
Okay.
So he, he suggested the cough.
Yep.
So I met with him at, uh, at,
um, one of the Aberdeen, maybe
in, in, in Richmond there.
Yeah, the mall, one of the malls there.
I think it was Aberdeen
anyway, uh, met with him.
Um, 30 minutes turned
into about three hours.
Mm-hmm and uh, we shared some stuff
together and we, I had some similarities
and many like things that weren't similar,
but there were some similarities there.
Sure.
And, um, I've, I've met a lot of people.
I've interrogated or
interviewed lots of people.
Mm-hmm I've never met anyone like him.
He's anyone.
He is a very interesting fellow
isn't he personally, for me,
I've never met anyone like that.
And the reason why he is interesting
for me and why I've never met
anyone like that is cuz he didn't
know me from Adam mm-hmm he's a.
A guy from Rosslyn, BC probably
has no connection to anyone in
the Indo-Canadian community.
Probably.
I don't know.
Maybe he does.
Maybe he doesn't.
Yeah, but these are the things
that were going through my head.
Right.
Sure.
And I'm like, uh, so what he did for me
was he would zoom call me three, four
days a week, maybe even some weeks,
every single day for two hours a day.
Wow.
Just of own volition.
I needed some help and
I wasn't in a good spot.
And, um, I wasn't in a good spot.
So he, he, he, he called and
I would call him and, and then
we would have conversations
and then we'd discuss things.
And I would talk about what I want to do.
He would, he would essentially
what he did was performance.
Coach me out of where I was,
but you're in a place where
you're ready to accept that too.
yes, I was searching mm-hmm I
was on a mission to get help.
I was looking for somewhere.
Mm.
Like I was like, uh, when I
first Mets four years ago is
when I was kind of searching.
I was gravitated towards se I don't
know why he's a strong leader.
Absolutely.
A very positive fellow.
Yeah.
So when I saw his said four or five years
ago, I was like, okay, I start kind of,
you know, learning and understanding
certain things from his perspective.
And anyways, so yeah, I met Sean and,
and, and, um, yeah, what he did was
basically strip away the white noise
and helped me realize and understand
what kind of person I am and who I
actually am and what I'm meant to.
Wow.
No, and that's not bullshit.
People pay a lot of money to get to that.
Why?
I mean, Simon, Sinski's got the,
the golden circle or whatever it
is and the why in finding your why.
And he's probably one of the cheapest
ones out there, but, uh, and probably
one of the B the better ones from
what I understand, but people spend
thousands of dollars on easily.
So that's, that's one of
the conversations we had.
He go, he's like, I'm not gonna give you
an invoice, but you got work to do now.
Mm.
So Sean's not just a friend for me.
Mm he's.
My mentor.
I talked to him as, not as
much as I have in the past.
Sure.
Um, but I do connect with him
often to have conversations
because it's fun to talk.
Totally.
And I enjoy.
His thought process and how he thinks.
And I like to think like him one day, you
know, , it's, it's funny that you were
saying earlier about how you, your ego was
outta control and it was all about you.
And all of a sudden there was this
realization and you don't know
where I came from and it was, I
gotta be doing this for others.
And, uh, uh, you're raising
money for the, for the Legion.
You're raising money for the owner house.
And Sean and I had a discussion
about this as well too.
And I I've heard
polarizing opinions on it.
You know, people say I'm in a bad place.
I need to concentrate
on me for a little bit.
I gotta fix me.
And some people say.
Hold on a second.
If you really want to fix you, look
outward, help other people that will give
your life some meaning or some purpose.
I mean, Victor Frankel wrote
the Bookman search for meaning.
I don't know if you've had a
chance to look at that one.
No, I haven't read the book, but I
I've read pieces of what he's done.
Sure.
Um, and in so much as you have been
finding great value in what Sean has
been providing you, I'm willing to bet
that Sean finds great value in what
he's able to provide to you and assist
you with and watch how you're are
developing, because it is an interesting
interconnectivity to all of us.
And if all we're looking at it
is for our own self interest.
It's like that whole pursuit of happiness,
the paradox is as you try and pursue
happiness, you're never gonna be happy.
Is that you say that, man?
I was asking Sean a question in one
of our conversations and, um, I didn't
know anything about Rosalind, right?
I don't know where it is.
I know where it is now, but sure.
I didn't know what it, where it was.
Why you'd want to live there.
Like no idea.
Yeah.
Mountain biking, skiing.
If you're into that, you'll like
Rosalind and I didn't know what 24 hour
solos were when I was talking to him.
Like I had no freaking clue, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
I'm just like what?
Okay.
Whatever.
Sure.
But here's the, the
fundamental truth though.
Um, I'll get back to I, before
I forget, I want mention this.
Sean would be the only person on this
planet that could have helped me.
Yeah, I think so.
Cuz I wouldn't have
listened to anyone else.
Right person, right time.
Because I couldn't say anything
that would, um, that would
counter what he he's been through.
Mm-hmm so I'd be, I could say, oh
this, that and the other and he'd go.
Oh yeah, but this mm-hmm . So like, let's
like for an simple example, I could just
talk about, let's say a run mm-hmm and
I'd be like, oh man, this run was tough.
I, you know, I couldn't do this, that
and the other, he goes, oh, did you die?
I'm like, no.
Did your leg fall off?
Yeah.
Okay.
You could finish then that's right.
Just a perspective shift.
Yeah.
And I can't argue with that now, if
someone else says that to me, I go F
you, man, you don't know what I can do.
That's right.
Yeah.
So it, it was diff I couldn't
so I was, did you die?
I was immediately disarmed talking to
him because they couldn't argue with him.
There was no argument to be had in terms
of proving what I thought was correct.
Cause I wasn't mm-hmm and it's
allowing your ego to die in the process.
Yeah.
Which was, and it's look, my
ego is still it'll take years
to kind of really it's fine.
It's but it comes out.
and it can get pretty aggressive
and it can get pretty angry.
Sure.
So, but that'll, you know, in time,
everything kind of sorts itself out.
And I I've noticed that, um, it
is kind of sorting itself out.
Well, being able to recognize
that is the first step.
Right.
And the second you can see that
something's kind of stepping
outta controller in a direction
that you don't like now you got
the ability to affect change.
If you can't even see it happening.
Good luck.
Right?
Yeah.
Well, before I wouldn't
I'd have no intention.
Mm.
So now I have intention
throughout the day.
At least I try to, mm.
And I try to, I try to think
about what I want to do.
I, I don't free Willi anymore.
, you know, I don't, I don't,
I don't like just like, I try
to have structure through.
What I try to do each day
mm-hmm and, and purpose behind
it and, and meaning behind it.
So I'm not wasting my time in it.
And the reality is I
have zero time to waste.
I'm 44.
I don't wanna run across
Canada when I'm 50.
no.
Right.
And I want, and I got, I got a
two year timeline, so that means
there's zero time to waste.
So that means I need to do everything that
I need to do right now to galvanize as
many people as possible around what we're
trying to do so we can affect permanent
positive change permanently mm-hmm.
like, that's, that's my goal.
My goal is not to run across Canada.
That's just a means of affecting
permanent positive change.
Cuz how I understand permanent positive
change is exactly what Terry Fox did.
If I run across Canada once
and raise a million dollars.
Great.
Cool.
But who cares?
it needs to happen forever.
Mm-hmm so really that's the question
and I'm problem solving it backwards.
Now.
See, you're getting close to my question
that I've, uh, alluded to at the
beginning that, uh, which is essentially
so, uh, Jason, bud friend of mine, uh,
ex British army spin on the podcast
and, um, uh, sharing different stories.
One of the things he talked about was
in dealing with his own mental health.
There is a, uh, four pillars that
kind of needed to be taken care of.
Uh, sleep was one of them like crucial
big one that needed to be taken care of.
Exercise and diet is another one.
I think that was kind of lumped together.
One was, uh, like substance control or
making sure that nothing's in excess,
even if it's coffee or whatever, it might
be just keeping those things in control.
But the last one was purpose.
And as I'm listening and getting to
know you, uh, there is a big purpose in
2025, which leaves in my head anyways,
a question mark in 2026 and 2027.
And where does I leave you and what
you're doing, but it sounds like
you've already thought of this.
I'd love to hear it.
The rest of my life is this.
Yeah.
So after 2025, it'd be something else.
Okay.
It'd be something else after that.
It'd be something else after that.
I'm I'm I understand what I need to do.
At this point, I'm just trying to
figure out the steps to do them.
Okay.
And how to lay the foundation
for my future as well.
Cause I'm also 44.
I gotta think about what I'm gonna do
for the next 20 years of my life to
support myself and things of that nature.
Mm-hmm but I wanna do it in
such a way that I'm happy.
Mm-hmm so going back to the happy
part in Rosslyn, when I was talking
to Sean, I asked him a question.
I go, why did you decide
to move to Rolin BC?
Like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he is like, he turned, he just looks
at me and goes, bro, you're not gonna
find peace next to a babbling Brook.
Mm.
Because he knew where I was
going with the question.
I was like, why'd you go to Rolin?
Was it to find like, right, right, right.
Very, very small thinking.
Right.
And um, not necessarily what was
the, the thinking I had at the
moment mm-hmm and, um, when he
said that I was like, okay, cool.
What?
Okay.
So then they, I reflect on a lot
of, I, I sit and ruminate a lot.
Right?
Sure.
And I think about what people
are saying and, and I, and I, and
reflect, and he was absolutely right.
And I'm not searching for happiness now.
I already know how to get it.
Mm-hmm and I'm already there.
Mm-hmm I'm doing what
I love to do right now.
, which is awesome.
You're embracing the challenge.
I am all in now and it took
me some time to get here.
Mm.
And it's not like I'm without challenges.
My main challenge really that's the
harder one is the financial piece.
Mm.
Um, all the other stuff treating to figure
out how to build things is kind of fun.
Mm-hmm , you know, build a YouTube
channel, get the director for
the documentary, get this, get
that, get this, get that cool.
Um, financially it's been a struggle
because I don't have much money
because I'm doing a lot of this.
I'm paying for everything on my own.
And then also funds from my workplace
are gonna probably start, stop at some
point, because I'm gonna leave the job.
Um, I'm currently working
from home right now.
And, um, so, but I'm still transitioning
outta the workplace, so sure.
It's um, so my goal is to eventually, in
terms of personally, for my own personal
happiness, to have this YouTube channel
and just to have these challenges that
I always do and just document, and
then that way people can also see that
we're continuously raising money for.
honor house.
Interesting.
So the YouTube channel will
be a direct source to charity.
And then I can also receive
an income through that too.
I don't need a lot of money.
Mm.
All I need to make, to be
honest is 50 grand a year.
Mm.
If I can make 50 grand a year, pay
my bills, I don't need much more.
Yeah.
And if I'm doing all the
things that make me happy.
Cool, then I'm good.
I really don't need much.
Mm-hmm I suspect though, based on
the trajectory of what's happened
in the LA past year alone and
the growth and the reach that's
been happening, it's inevitable.
That'll be beyond that.
You know, it's funny.
I, um, Friend of mine, she's really
into metrics on her business and,
uh, key performance indicators and,
uh, uh, spreadsheets and charts.
And, and she's going through this stuff
and she'll ask me questions about my
business and what are you doing over here?
And what are these numbers like?
And what's your, uh, and she's throwing
out some terms I I've never even heard of.
Right.
like, I, I don't know.
Right.
Mm-hmm I say, what do you mean you don't?
And I, truthfully, I tell her, I
say, you know, and I've mentioned
this before in the podcast.
I don't, I don't think about the money.
The money is a byproduct of hard work
and effort and providing value to others.
Mm-hmm so you can put all the time and
hard work and effort into something,
but if you're providing nothing of
value that anybody else can can find
in there, um, you, you can't ex expect
a, uh, remuneration or an exchange of
goods or services for a lack of value.
Mm-hmm . If you're able to look at the.
End product from sort of a macro
perspective and what value you're
gonna be bringing an individual, a
community, a, uh, a group, whatever
it might be an organization.
And you bring that value.
That money will be a byproduct of it.
Now I've got the luxury of being able to
surround myself with some people who can,
uh, look at the accounting and look at
things and, uh, and step in when needed.
But, um, I think if I took a different
perspective and I was always looking at
that money, I would always be behind it.
I'd always be chasing it, cuz there's
always more that could be had or
different ways you can squeeze it out.
And I'm not looking at the value that
I'm bringing others like this podcast.
I don't monetize it.
Mm-hmm I, I don't make
a dime for this podcast.
Mm-hmm my whole goal is to bring
value either through education or
entertainment to the, to the end user.
Well, in, in all awesome points.
And I think that for me, my
purpose isn't to make money.
Right?
You're you're, you're
chasing a greater purpose.
Yeah.
Money will be a byproduct.
What you're doing, which is fine.
So if, if money was my purpose,
then I would do something different.
Sure.
there there's always that.
Right, right.
But money's not my purpose.
My purpose is greater than myself.
Mm it's.
Not about me.
Mm-hmm zero to do with me because if it
had to do with me, I wouldn't be doing it.
Because it's really hard though.
That's exactly it.
And it would only be feeding back
into that whole ego thing yeah.
That you were trying to, uh, to quell and,
and, and I'm, I'm still on that journey.
Right.
And I'm still understanding who I
am and I'm still figuring that out.
Right.
I'm I'm and I'm 44 and I'm still
feeling, trying to figure it out.
And I, all I want to do is move in
the direction of being a better person
every single day and being the best
version of myself every single day.
That is it.
I, whatever happens around that.
Awesome.
So with the YouTube channel, you're
gonna be able to provide daily
documentation sort of things, quick
shorts mm-hmm , uh, provide, uh,
obstacles you're you're encountering
mm-hmm and how you are overcoming them.
And like there's, there's
value in just that, right?
In, in being able to have a community
of people who are looking to better
themselves mm-hmm and likewise,
like, I don't, you don't strike me
as the type of person who's coming
across as saying, I have the answers,
but you say I'm on a journey mm-hmm
and you're welcome to join me.
And I'm more than happy to have
people on my YouTube channel
who may have some answers.
Right.
And then ask them.
Sure.
And because I think, um, look, I'm,
I'm not a I'm, I'm just a guy, man.
Like I'm not a tier one operator.
I'm not a, a E R T team leader.
I'm not any of these things.
Right.
I'm I'm just a guy who has a couple
skill sets that I'm trying to maximize.
That's pretty much it, that isn't
that the same for everybody.
Absolutely.
And so I think that's kind of the
messaging I'd like to kind of provide is
that just maximize your skills, whatever
those skills are, try to maximize.
'em the best you can.
And, um, at least my experience,
it's a fulfilling thing to
see what you're capable of.
Totally.
Like I can run 50 K a day right now,
man, but you're not doing it by yourself.
No, but in my head, what I'm
thinking is like I couldn't run
five K two years ago, two years ago.
Right.
So the reality is in another year
and a half, I'll go from zero
kilometers of running to potentially.
Very for sure.
80 K a day.
Wow.
Like anything is possible with
a little bit of grit, little bit
of consistency and determination.
I'm like proof is in
the pudding right here.
Are you finding that as you grow through
this, as you grow as a runner, as you're
going through this journey yourself,
that it is, uh, starting to alienate
some people that you used to hang around?
Yeah.
Um,
it's hard for me to know for sure,
because the people I used to hang
around kind of disappeared before
a lot of, of what's happening.
Sure.
So it's hard to say.
Um, I do sometimes lately and I
suspect over the next few years,
it's gonna be a lot more, feel
like a party favor sometimes.
Okay.
I talk about myself all the time.
Right.
And about, and not because I want to is
because I, I need to get the message out.
I want, you're trying
to promote something.
Yeah.
I want everyone to know the
story, but I also don't wanna
talk about myself all the time.
Sure.
And everywhere I go, people are like, I
have to bring it up if they don't know.
Mm.
And then once they know they
start asking the questions
or they'll just start asking.
So it's, it's, it's a
constant sort of thing.
All I'm talking about is myself and
what we're doing, which is awesome
because I'm obsessed in this, the
goal, but I can see how it could be
not as pleasant for someone else.
And maybe someone else doesn't
want to be sitting around me
cuz that's all I talk about.
And well, that's always the, the difficult
dichotomy between trying to, uh, promote
whether it's your business or yourself
or whatever it is that you're trying to
do or an external thing, something else.
trying to promote that and be
humble and ego free in the process.
And it's like, where's that balance.
And I, I find the more you progress
down your path that I've been
watching you on the more other
people are doing the talking for you.
And that allows you to be able to just
concentrate on what you want to do.
And as other people talk about it, it
seems to build more momentum and maybe
even more of a mystique, cuz maybe
they might put their own inflections
on that you might not necessarily do.
No, I think, um, I want to, I
wanna speak to that for a second.
Mm-hmm like, in terms of like people
raising me up or, or supporting me or
cuz this is kind of, for me over the
last month has been a new sort of,
uh, metric that I've been recognizing.
Sure.
And, um, it took me a little bit of
time to kinda wrap my head around
and, and understand how to receive it.
And I'll explain what I mean by that.
Um, I don't have a lot of money.
Sure.
Maybe $3 in my bank account the other day.
Yeah.
Right.
Um, and no complaining, this is, this
is the, this is the journey that I'm on.
It's all part of it.
It's all part of the journey.
Right.
And, and I, and I'm actually happy
about it because that's, it means
this, this, this story will mean more.
But having said that, um, and I'm
fully transparent with everyone.
Anytime I talk to 'em, you know, this
is what's going on, this, all those
things and, um, my daughter's five.
Yep.
And I started jujitsu two months
before she was born March, 2017
and I wanted to learn jujitsu for a
few reasons I've always wanted to.
And now I also want, I also wanted to
teach my daughter jujitsu, cuz I think
it's a fundamental skill that everyone
should know swimming in jujitsu.
Sure.
And so I started and um,
you know, close to my house.
There's a school called, uh, Gracie
Baja, um, white it's in white rock.
and, uh, now I don't go to there.
That's not my actual
academy where I used to go.
Sure.
But I would drop in
there from time to time.
And I have friends that train
there and things of that nature.
And over the last five years, I've
made connections with people there.
Sure.
And a few weeks ago I went to drop in to
say hi to the professor, professors of the
instructors and, um, Eddie awesome guy.
And, um, and you know, talked to him
and a few of the other guys there.
And Eddie hadn't seen me in some time.
And, and he's our age, you know, in around
40, 50 years old or something like that.
Mm-hmm . And, uh, he is
like, oh man, it's awesome.
See you, we should go out for dinner,
this, that, and the other, I was like,
yeah, man, let's schedule it right now.
Otherwise we won't sure.
So it scheduled it.
And, um, I met up with him and
we went for dinner first time
ever going to dinner with him.
And he, he was talking to me about,
um, Don't stop doing what you're doing.
I was like, okay man.
And he kept repeating it
don't and I was like, okay.
Yeah, cool.
It's okay.
And he went on to share some personal
things that he normally wouldn't share
with people, but he felt comfortable
enough to share with me because of,
I guess the journey that I'm on.
And he isn't a social media guy.
So he mentioned to me, he heard
me on a podcast and as soon he
said that, and I was like, what?
Someone must have sent
it to him or something.
Right.
And he said it really resonated with him.
And, um, so he, he owns a, a couple
schools and he was like, your daughter
never has to pay for a jujitsu class.
Wow.
This is, and for me, that's a big deal.
Wow.
Hell.
Yes.
That's massive for me.
That's a really, uh, it
touched me quite a bit.
Mm-hmm and um, so anyways, he, he said
that and I was like, man, that's awesome.
Thanks bro.
I really appreciate that.
And so that's just one El
one part of that story.
Mm-hmm and I'm also planning.
I, I made it a connection with
depo, uh, two or three weeks
ago, RCMP training facility.
Mm-hmm in Regina and I wanted, I
was trying to figure out ways to
get the message out even further.
And I thought it would be a great idea
if I can go there and speak to the
recruits and talk to them and let them
know what I'm doing and maybe take 'em
out on a run mm-hmm so this is the,
where the networking starts coming in.
Right.
And said, I know is friends with one of
the recruiters out there and he is also
on Instagram, real cops for real life.
Mm-hmm Steven awesome guy.
Mm.
I messaged him.
And then he and I had a chat for about 45
minutes on IGT, um, Instagram video thing.
Mm-hmm and then, uh, five minutes
later, I was like, okay, you're coming
to Regina and you're gonna take a
bunch of troops out for a run, and
we're gonna talk about what you're
doing, this, that and the other mm-hmm
And I was like, I was floored by that.
And I was like, awesome.
So I'm in my head.
I'm like, how am I gonna pay for that?
cause it's gonna be like a $1,500 trip.
Right.
That's right.
And it's $800 to fly there
in hotel and whatnot.
And are they gonna put you up?
This is not, they're not paying for
anything this, and I don't expect them
to, um, I'm uh I'm um, it's opening
the door step one, 1% every day.
Mm-hmm right.
So it's fine.
Um, so I, uh, So Steven awesome
guy, the recruiter, he said, don't
worry about where you're staying.
You can stay at my place.
I'll give you next the
other car or the extra car.
You just drive it around
wherever you need to go.
Wow.
And I was like, okay, so that's covered.
Thank you, bro.
I really appreciate it, man.
Um, all based off of, I guess
what I'm doing and, and, and,
and trying to raise me up.
And then, so now I'm talking to
Eddie still at dinner, and I was
mentioning about the depo stuff and
he is like, okay, I got your ticket.
No.
So I started explaining everything.
He goes like, bro, you think it's right?
I was like, yeah, you're fine.
So he said, just come to the school on
Friday, on I'll have the money for you.
So went to go pick it up.
And he had $810 cash.
Wow.
So I can pay for the ticket, the
universe unfolds as it should.
Right.
And that's just the,
like, that was just one.
Then I went that following week.
So that's why of recently my.
I've been more like this, cuz sure.
Money's not stressing me as much
cuz now it's just appearing now
mm-hmm so for example, well appearing
or whatever you wanna call it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Presenting present.
And um, he, uh, so a couple weeks
ago when I was in lay country yeah.
With, uh, Jared, I was up
there to do 21 K Spartan race.
Okay.
And it was a, you know, just
to have fun, whatever, and I
didn't have enough money to go.
Hmm.
I had about 160 bucks in my account
or something and um, I was like,
oh and my car isn't the best car.
And I didn't want to drive it up there cuz
that probably would've cost me more yes.
Right.
She had gas races that where
they are now that and breaking
down, like it's a hot mess.
Right?
Yeah.
And um, so I, uh, the world, the
universe, man, I have a friend of mine.
Who's been a really good friend
for the last couple years and she.
Her sister works for Canada.
So I got a buddy passed
for 150 bucks round trip.
So, wow.
I bought that had a couple bucks, $10
left in my account, so it was good.
and then I got there and Jared
just moved to lake country.
Yep.
And I met him through the mental
health walks that sub does
mm-hmm so Jess coincident he's
like, yeah, bro, stay at my place.
I'll drive you.
so I, so I, it just, it just happened.
Yeah.
So then now I'm in, um,
in, in, in lake country.
And so I also have a group of
friends from Edmonton, um, that were
coming down to do the Spartan race.
Mm-hmm and they're part of a
big community of, uh, people
that do good things as well.
Mm-hmm and, um, as you know, they
have a WhatsApp group about 80 people
in it and, and, and, uh, about 10 of
them came down and they were like,
Hey, sat, we're gonna go to this place
for lunch on, on Friday, come join us.
I was like, I'd love to guys,
but I'm in lake country.
I'm not gonna ask jar to
drive me back and forth.
And I'm not, I don't have enough money
to Cabo and I'll see you at the race.
We're good.
We're good.
And a couple hours later, um, Sarah, who
I've met once when I went to Edmonton
for, to meet these people and hang out,
um, said, what's your email address?
I'm transferring you, um, travel expenses.
Wow.
And I was like, what.
So I gave her my email and she
transferred me 200 bucks to help
me out while I was just there.
And so then I felt awkward for me.
Yeah.
Cause for me, I could see that
for me, um, I've right or wrong.
I've felt like people have taken
advantage of me from various
different times in my life.
So I don't want anyone feeling
like I'm doing that to them.
Sure.
Right.
And I was talking to Jared about
this and I was like, fuck Jared,
man, how do I take this man?
I don't like, how do I receive this?
And he's man, your perspective
is slightly wrong here.
Interesting.
And I was like, what do you mean?
And he's like, you double down.
They give you money.
They help you out.
You go harder, you go more and
you gotta think of it differently.
It's not that they're pitting
or Chi like anything like that.
It's.
That's their way of contributing to
the cause and the mission, totally
people like to back a winning horse.
Right.
Well, for, for, and absolutely, but for
me it was, uh, a process to get there.
Mm.
Um, for me to understand
that, because I've never.
Been around that.
And for Jared to help me out in
understanding that was, um, that's
a big, it was, it was important.
It's kind of like that goofy
old joke about a person who's,
uh, the town's flooding.
Yeah.
Hear that one.
And he, the front door person drives by.
He's like starting to flood.
I get drunk, jump in the truck, right?
Yeah.
He's like, no, no, no,
my God will save me.
Right.
Yeah.
Uh, then he is, water's halfway up the
house and a boat comes by and same thing.
No, no, no, no.
Then he is on the roof
and a helicopter console.
Like, no, no, no, no.
And then he is in heaven
cuz he is drowned.
What happened?
I sent you a truck and
a boat and a helicopter.
Why didn't you take it?
Right.
And these things come along in life.
Yeah.
And quite often our pride gets in
the way and I, and I can see that.
No, no, no, no.
I don't want to take it.
And then you, you become more
reclusive and you go away.
And so a year ago I wouldn't
have accepted any of it.
Totally.
Sean Taylor helped me mm.
Months ago with being okay.
with, um,
sort note the ego piece.
He, he helped me understand that,
Hey man, it's not about you.
You, if you don't have
money, just be honest.
Mm-hmm like, why are you hiding?
Like, who are you trying to prove to?
like, what's going on.
No, but that's reality, right?
Yeah.
Like why, why would I lie about,
yeah, I, I don't have money, but it's
not because I, I'm not, I'm lazy.
Mm-hmm , it's just cuz of
the nature of what I'm doing.
Yep.
So, um, so I have had to connect
with many different people to help
me understand a lot of different
things, cuz my mind wasn't anywhere
involved in these types of, um, ideas.
So what I've been doing with.
Some of the guidance and, you
know, like suggestions from Sean is
actively going out and meeting people.
So like when it first started,
I didn't like meeting people.
Sure.
I, I stayed by myself, whatever
I don't didn't feel comfortable.
So what I started doing was, um,
my Instagram, I was just randomly
talk to people and just be like,
Hey, you wanna go for coffee?
And then I would just go for really?
Yeah.
Just, Hey, you wanna go for coffee?
And these are people that, you know,
or these are just, maybe you don't
know, just through Instagram, like
that kind of either acquaintance right.
Or friends.
Sure.
But they were mostly less,
not, not, not quite friends.
Sure.
So, um, I would just engage with people.
And meet them and talk to them
and learn from them and understand
their perspectives and people that
I would never talk to mm-hmm so
it was a lot of people like that.
Like no hugely eye opening.
Let me rephrase that though.
Um, there were people that I would
normally not have spoken to right.
Based on how you were in the past.
Sure.
Yeah.
So for me, that was massive and there
were bumps in the road for sure.
Cuz my ego would get in the way and
having conversations with these people.
But, and I was listening to you and Sean
talk on the podcast yesterday, there are
striking similarities, more so than not.
Right.
So we're way I noticed in my experience,
we're way more similar than we are.
We just have different
ways of saying things.
Mm.
And we may be on different.
We may be on different like
parts of the same journey.
Mm.
So like someone may be farther,
further along than the other, but
we're all going in the same direction.
That's right.
And um, So I, for me, it's just
reminding myself of that a lot too.
And understanding that and then,
um, yeah, just being more com I'm
trying to be more compassionate.
It's a very massive tenant
in the sick religion as well.
Right.
Mm.
And the words called Deia,
D a Y a and it's compassion.
Okay.
It's a fundamental tenant.
You gotta be compassionate.
So I haven't been . So how
does that manifest itself?
Like when you talk about being
compassionate empathy, I want to
be able to put myself into some
of those shoes and not judge them.
Okay.
And I want to, how else does
that mean compassionate?
Um, so giving grace to people.
Okay.
Right.
And I guess that's a Christian
term, but I've, I, I, I'm not sure.
Yeah.
It sounds like it.
Yeah.
But I think, um, so grace.
Not, yeah, not judging all these things.
Like just being, being more.
I feel more now, too, actually,
since I've been, um, since I've
been, um, working on myself mm I'm.
Way more emotional than I ever have been.
Like, uh, I, I was a wall.
Mm.
But now I can cry fairly easy now.
Um, which is which I'm
kind of happy about.
I think I'm just a, a I'm I feel like
I'm, I'm an kind of like an empath.
Like I feel a lot of people's energy and,
and, and I can sense things sometimes.
I don't know.
It sounds kind of strange woo.
But not really.
You're open to it now.
Yeah.
And maybe over the years of working in
law enforcement for 18 years and, and
really honing my craft and what I was
good at, I was very observant and I'd.
Um, pay attention to people's
behaviors and the change of behaviors.
And then, um, responding based on that.
Mm-hmm so if I feel it may,
it sounds like feeling energy,
but I'm probably subconsciously
observing, uh, change of behavior.
And what's going on your
verbal, your para verbal, your
nonverbal, your body language.
Yeah.
What you said, how you said it,
the intonation and inflection.
Absolutely.
And all those things come in, but there
is that gut feeling that goes with all of
that and that's based off past experiences
and how you've seen things unfold.
Last time I saw a person go
all red in their face and
start clenching their fists.
They were angry, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
That's uh, Yeah, man.
That's, uh, that's kind of, what's been
happening over the last little law, man.
It's been a, it's been a trip, man.
It's been a trip.
Well, they say, okay, so you're saying
like, you're kind of like a wall.
They see a person's getting angry.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's all these psychological
and physiological responses, right.
And the heart rate's going
up and you're getting angry.
Your breathing's changing your,
your mind's racing and there's
all this energy that comes in.
How much energy does it take to
put that wall up and to stop it?
I'll tell you exactly about 400
calories burned in about 10 minutes.
There you go.
Where do you get that
metric from my whoop strap.
no, I'll tell you when I was at, when
I was really dealing with major stress.
Sure.
I, I, I monitor all my metrics.
Sure.
For cuz I'm active, I'm working.
I'm trying to, trying to train properly
and I would see, so this whoop strap
would, um, when your heart rate
elevates, even if you're not working out.
Mm.
And it elevates for a long
duration of time, it'll track it.
Mm.
And I'd be at work talking to
someone and in low risk scenario,
For some reason what's going up.
I would burn, like in, let's say in a
half an hour, it'd be like running 5k.
Wow.
And I would look at my thing,
I'd be what the heck's going
on, but I would have a response.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And that, even though the wall is
up and I'm talking to somebody and
maybe they're being rude or nothing
major, but just being in the Dick.
Right.
Yeah.
And, um, it would be me controlling
my, myself, not wanting to get angry as
my response cuz I'm, I'm not a flight.
I'm more of a fight.
Sure.
And, um, but containing everything just,
but I would feel it, my heart, I would
feel it and I'd feel a little bit of sweat
in the heart rate and all these things,
but you wouldn't be able to really see
me acting on it is all you're feeling
is love back on the Instagram and, and
social media that you're putting out.
Are you getting people
that are hating on you?
I don't know.
Uh, I it's been, I don't know
why they'd wanna hate on me.
I'm just doing something nice.
No, no, I, I, I get it.
I've been noticing all
like, very, very supportive.
Awesome, very, um, it's
it's humbling, man.
Awesome.
Honestly, it's humbling, man.
It makes it, it, some days it
brings tears to my eyes based
on where I was a year ago.
If I look at the Delta over the last
12 months, it's like, wow, man, I
made it this far in just, just a year.
No kidding in a year, man.
It's amazing what can happen in a year
of just working on things and, and,
and I get messages fairly frequently
now on my Instagram, people DMing
me on just positive messages or,
um, Hey, I heard this and, or, Hey
man, can you help me out with this?
Or, and I'm like, fuck, man.
Like, it's not.
It's awesome.
That's pretty cool.
It's awesome, man.
And that's pretty neat because everyone
talks about, you know, how social media
could be negative and you can't expect
to be growing as a person or as a
business or as a, whatever it might be
without seeing change happen around you.
And anytime you stick your finger
in the bowl of water, you're
gonna see some ripples, right.
And.
If all you're getting back from that
is positivity, more power to you.
Keep, keep it rolling.
Speaking of ripples, I want to, I'm
not sure how we're doing it on time,
but I wanna mention this, uh, for
sure before we go, cuz I have, I have,
uh, before I start and this plan to
run across Canada has been really,
uh, it's a five year plan, right.
And I started a year and
a half, two years ago.
It's nothing's deviated.
Other than it's the only thing that's
changed is I've I'm making it harder.
how are you making it harder?
Because initially I was thinking,
I just wanna do what Terry Fox did.
Oh, now you wanna beat the record?
Yeah.
because I can run 42 K a day now.
Right.
So if I have another year
and a half, what can I do?
Mm.
Cause the goal was to run in 20, 25, but
after a year of training I can run 50 K.
Now I could, I, it won't be easy, but
I'll grind it out for four or five months.
I could do that.
I could do it.
Mm-hmm and um, so then I thought, oh
shit, man, if I can do that right now,
how much more can I do if I, if I train.
Quit my like, leave my job,
focus a hundred percent.
Hire this person, hire this person,
hire like do all the things mm-hmm.
what can I do then?
That's why I feel very confident based on
what I did last year with nothing mm-hmm
and then what I'm doing now with little
bit mm-hmm and then what I'm gonna do
over the next year with a lot more mm-hmm
so I just wanna see what I'm capable of.
I wanna, I wanna see what I can do.
Mm-hmm I don't know if I
can break the record and the
likelihood is not that great.
cause I'm if, if you look
statistically, it's not gonna happen.
If you don't make set that
in your sight as a goal, but
it's my ultimate goal, right?
To do it.
I'm training to do it.
I've hired a phenomenal coach,
Ron low he's like fast as shit.
Like he's getting my time down.
Cuz what I need to do is not just
run, um, a lot of K's but I gotta run
those K's in a certain amount of time.
Mm.
So my pace can't be like eight minutes per
kilometer running a hundred K that's not,
that's not, it's gotta be like five and a
half minutes per kilometer, which is nuts.
Yes, it is it, which is nuts.
Mm-hmm and.
Dave Proctor was doing
six minutes per kilometer.
Wow.
For 67 days, which is nuts.
Mm-hmm . So for me to do what he did,
and he was an ultra endurance athlete,
his entire life, he's done 30, 40, 50
marathons, and all these other things.
Mm-hmm, , I'm just an athlete trying to
do something and see if I can do something
remarkable if given the time mm-hmm
So I'm just like seeing what's possible.
Right.
And, and, and, um, that's the story.
I think there's so many stories here.
Sure.
But I think if we can, like, if I can
share anything at any point, not now,
cuz I'm still in it, but maybe in a few
years down the road, once everything's all
said and done and I can sit back and say,
Hey man, look, you know, it is possible.
Proof's in the pudding.
Mm-hmm this is where I was.
This is where I'm at.
Now.
This is where this is happening.
This is how many millions of
dollars are going over here.
This is how many millions of people
are affected by what we're doing.
Like.
It will be a failure
if it's not permanent.
And like over a period of time
in my eyes, it sounds like you
got a book in the works too.
Uh, so we're working on
the documentary now too.
Right?
Good.
So that started, uh, preliminary
shooting started, um, Sunday.
Okay.
And, um, we're gonna slowly start
building on it and track everything
for the next two, three years and yeah.
Book, whatever, whatever will help more
people and get the message out I'm up for.
Right.
And I wanted to mention
these, these three things.
I only set three personal
goals for myself.
Okay.
Like not need 'em goals, three
personal things I want to achieve.
Okay.
And they weren't monetary at all.
And this might seem bit, um, interesting
for you and maybe the listeners.
And I think it's, anyways,
I'll say I'll let you know.
Yeah.
Let's hear it.
It's gonna sound.
And this is what I said to myself a year
and a half ago, when I first started,
I'm gonna have Cameron Hayes run 50
K with me when I'm run across Canada
and I'm gonna have David Goggins run
50 K with me when I run across Canada.
And the reasons are this
I'll get to third one.
Okay.
The reasons are this, I would've
never known it was a thing.
Had I not heard Cameron Hays.
Mm.
So I think it would be awesome if I
could tell him that, that he has a
hand in helping millions of people.
And that's a gift I'd like to be able to
give him same thing for David Goggins.
I wouldn't have started running.
Had I not read those first two chapters.
And again, what we're about to
do will affect a lot of people.
And I think it would be an awesome thing
to be able to share that with someone
who inspired me to do that or not
inspired me, motivated me to do that.
Sure.
And then number three, in 2026.
I'll be on Joe Rogan's podcast.
2026.
Yeah.
That's that's gonna happen.
The reason is this awesome.
The reason is this, um, whatever people
say about that podcast, I think, I think
it's a good platform if you want it to be.
And for me, like in terms
of his show, very much so.
And I think for me, I I've
always wanted to do jujitsu.
Mm.
Joe Rogan was a massive fan,
so he always talked about it.
Mm-hmm it pushed me over the fence.
And I started jujitsu.
I would've never known
who Cameron Haynes was.
Had he not been on that podcast?
Mm, I would've never known who David
Goggins was if he wasn't on the podcast.
So I'd love to be able to go on
that podcast, not to talk about
me, not to share whatever else
is to give him the gift that.
He, he inspired and motivated someone
to help a whole shit ton of people.
And I think, um, that'll,
I'll make that happen too.
And I think those are the three things
that I want to make sure actually happen.
I can see each and every one
of those things happening.
And the only way they'll happen is if
you set them as a goal, mm-hmm , they
don't just happen by happenstance.
It doesn't just fall in your lap.
And if it does, there are
reasons why these things clean.
It came up to you.
Mm-hmm I can see each one
of those happening for sure.
Absolutely man.
And I think it's now I'm taking more
of a responsibility on a lot of things.
Mm-hmm, how I kind of think of
things now is like, look, if I'm,
when I do all this stuff, the
reality is it'll change my life.
for sure.
Mm-hmm, change your life change.
And everyone's daughter's life, your
flows around you, family, every single
person, every single person's life around
me, a rising tide floats all boats.
Yeah.
And I think that's an amazing
responsibility that I I'm actually
owning now, which will help inspire
and motivate and drive me even more.
Right.
It'll push me even harder.
I add more things to motivate myself.
You wanna know another
thing that I'm adding?
Yeah.
Cause I have to put these extra
things on to get me to freaking go.
Okay.
I'm gonna, once I retire from the agency.
Yeah.
And I, I get my pension, I'm
donating a hundred percent of.
I don't want it.
I want it to help other people.
Right.
So now that sounds crazy and people
can go, oh, what are you gonna do for
life or your money and this, that,
and the other look, I'll figure that
out because I'm doing that right now.
So the goal is to make a substantial
amount of money so I can donate
all of that money and I'll need it.
Right.
So that'll push me and drive me to really,
at least that's how I frame it in my head.
Cuz I set that goal.
Yeah.
If I don't have that goal there,
it's not gonna be an imagination.
Like I won't, I won't think of like
that pension will be worth $2 million.
Sure.
So it's just a number.
It is just a number, right?
So, so people gets, and when I say
people I've told people this mm-hmm
and they're like, whoa, they all freak
out and I'm like, look, man, I'm good
with 50 K a year mm-hmm and that's a
good, and that's a good realization to
find out what it is that drives you.
What makes you happy?
You know, fight club, what
you own owns you, right?
The more things that you have, the
more you want to ACC accumulate, the
more you're going to be owned by that.
Right.
Um, Jim Carey, when he was young,
he's like, I'm writing myself
a check for a million dollars.
I'm gonna cast it at this date.
And he set all this old goal
process and, and he achieved it.
And I made for a neat story
and all, all the rest.
And he later goes on and says, you know,
that was a fun role playing Jim Carey.
Right.
That was fun.
That was, uh, lucky to be
able to, uh, to get that part.
And people all laugh and he says,
you know, things have changed, right.
I famously says, I want everyone to
have all the money in the world so
they can realize that, that it does
not bring you happiness, but the.
The goal setting of what you are
looking to achieve tends to change.
As you start progressing down that path,
I've seen in many people mm-hmm and
if you're able to identify now that
money is not the motivator for you,
you're gonna have everything you need.
Mm-hmm it'll all work out.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing, right?
Like, uh, I've I've, as, as soon as
I established that and what, what
I need to live, then it was simple.
Mm-hmm because it makes it
easier to make the decision.
Right.
Then I can, then I can figure out
how do I get that money so I can
live the life that I wanna live.
Mm-hmm right.
So let's say if it's 50 K well,
okay, let me write some proposals.
Let me get some investors.
Let me get some sponsors.
Let me do blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then I can start
actively doing things.
So now I've created something,
um, over a year time that I can
actually present to people and say,
Hey man, this is what I'm doing.
I.
Help mm-hmm is anyone willing to invest?
Mm-hmm in, let's say the
documentary, or maybe someone wants
to sponsor me as a, as an athlete.
Who's doing something and, and maybe
you can contribute to the cause a couple
thousand here or a thousand there.
Oh, whatever it is.
Yep.
Um, so the, now with the website, which
is up today, um, which is, I don't know
what the date is, but it's up today.
Yeah.
Um, and, um, there's gonna be a
section on the website where people
can do that and they can, if someone
wants to be a sponsor, they can click
on there and give their information.
I can contact them.
We can go from there.
Right.
Um, there's also a section where
if people wanna volunteer for some
of the stuff that we're doing, they
can fill that out and they can help.
Because I'm gonna have multiple
things happening throughout the
years over the next, like, this
is not gonna be a small thing.
It doesn't happen all by yourself.
No.
And, and I need lots of help.
And, um, look, I already have my
plan for what I'm gonna do for
next run to remember already.
I'm gonna run from, I'm gonna run from
Ashock BC to usin to 345 K and three days.
Holy Crow.
That that's the plan.
Yeah.
So I'll do that too.
And we'll document all that.
I'm going to Toronto on the, uh, 12th of,
uh, October to run on the, uh, Toronto
waterfront marathon, October 16th.
Mm-hmm . And I'm doing that
to pace somebody that I've
met through social media.
Who's, um, not an avid runner, but
they, they started and I was like,
that'd be kind of cool to meet new
people and go out there and fly.
And that I planned that a few months ago.
Now it's turning into something else.
Like people found out I was coming.
Some people have registered for the
marathon just because I'm gonna be
there and they want to hang out.
Do cool things.
Mm-hmm and, um, Toronto police service,
a few people that I know there are
connecting with me and they wanna, you
know, kind of hang out and do like a
5k run and like these different things.
And then my director videographer
he's coming, he's filming the
entire thing while we're there.
Um, he's gonna interview people, so
it's hopefully he can run no, got some
more, he's got some work to do, man.
We were filming on Sunday.
It was awesome.
He's like, Hey man, so
I'm gonna run next to you.
Just don't run so fast.
I go?
How's that gonna look on camera?
Come on.
Yeah, man.
It's gotta look, but anyways,
it was it's just honestly, I'm
I'm I feel extremely honored.
I feel extremely, um, I
feel, I feel blessed, man.
I don't know why I feel like
no, I let me rephrase that.
I feel blessed and I know why,
cuz I'm finally able to start
living my purpose and I'm I.
Acting and speaking as my
authentic self for my entire
life, that hasn't been the case.
So you can see me as I'm slightly
fidgety, the camera can kind of see it.
And I, uh, kind of look all over
the place when I talk and stuff.
Now I've only started doing that over
the last couple years more because I'm
taking the wall down and for most of my
life, I hadn't shown those behaviors.
Mm.
I controlled them all.
Mm-hmm my dad when I was young.
So, um, my brother's three years older
than me, my brothers, we, we all have our
own issues, mental health wise, I think.
And, um, my brother, um, he, he, you
know, taps his foot a lot, you know, and
as a young kid, my dad would rip him and
he shows weakness, what are you doing?
Blah, blah, blah, blah,
all this kind of stuff.
And I heard my dad say that
mm-hmm and he stopped.
I controlled every sort of
fidget, excellent containment.
Yeah.
And, um, now I'm like, no, man.
Huh.
And I remember when I used to go into
meetings with, I used to be, uh, very
involved in the union and I would have,
um, meetings with management and I would
always be very composed and controlled.
And after those meetings exhausted, sure.
Exhausted.
I, I was like, why am I so exhausted?
Cause I was controlling everything.
Mm-hmm, mentally exhausted.
So now I'm like, you know what,
whatever I'm gonna be, who I am.
If people think I'm weird, whatever
people think I'm fidgety, whatever, if
people think I'm not really looking at
them or whatever it is, I don't care
anymore because, um, it doesn't matter.
it's kind of neat reaching that point
in your life where you just stop caring.
Yeah.
Caring about what other people think.
Yeah.
Caring about other opinions,
caring about external things.
To you and just caring about what it
is that you're able to provide and
you're able to do and how you're able
to positively affect those around you.
I mean, just that sounds awesome.
That sounds awesome.
Just the way you say it, right?
Like it's, um, man, I I'll
say it a million times.
If you just feel fortunate,
I feel super fortunate.
I am really looking forward to watching
and tracking your progress through here.
I'm gonna have all this
stuff up on the, uh, awesome.
The show notes in the,
the podcast on YouTube.
Is there anything that we haven't
talked about that we should talk
about before we wrap up here?
Um, no, I think everything's gonna
be, um, on, on, on the podcast,
all the links and everything.
So no, I just want everyone
to, uh, no, what do I want?
I, um, I just appreciate
anyone who's listening to this.
And, um, I appreciate you for
having me on to be able to speak
about what I'm, what I'm doing.
And, um, I just look forward to
many more years of doing something
like this, and I appreciate you
and everyone who's listening such,
and the pleasure is all mine.
I'm looking forward to watching you grow.
Thank you so much, bro.