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Six strangers. One Tyrant's Guild cell. Jailer Homel offers a multi-year rot or a pit fight against the Guild's aspirants. They punch their way free, take a shady inspection job at a condemned hanging apartment, and drop straight through the floor into something the city buried on purpose.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all right everybody are you ready for the first episode of rod gron
hi everyone we're back the characters are getting coffee yeah they're getting coffee right now
don't worry about it you're keeping the fire you're keeping the fire lit for them
well welcome back everybody it's taken us like months forever a lot of things have happened i'm
so glad to see everyone back and i'm so glad to see our amazing players back you can't you can't
see all their stuff right now that's on purpose that's on purpose so don't don't freak out don't
freak out but i'm going to kind of go down uh my list here and introduce the amazing people who
have stuck with this uh the amazing crew uh from the formerly crew known as warhams we have now
rebranded ourselves to be narrative declaration as the group and this is our new campaign our new
dark souls kind of elder ring spot inspired inspired remember that word inspired campaign
called rock grind written by thurston hillman so the first player that we're gonna have
on the raw erin dill tell them who you are and where can they find you hi i'm erin dill i am a writer
for uh alpha busa on the newly renamed we did a lot of renaming recently on the project called
ogre popenang that's the cool group that we're a part of we were previously the people in charge of
tts and i write for them and do a whole bunch of other shit you may have seen hunter the parenting
whoa good uh you can see me at twitter at erin dillio and that's about it really but yeah that's that's
me all right next thing we have on the list is hulky chrome that would be me i am a voice actor
i did some work formerly for tts did some funny bits here and there for a couple other content
creators but mostly for warhams in the past this has been very fun and very happy to be back
are we doing plugs for where you can find me because you can pretty much only find me at twitter
right now same username at hulky crow missed you all but i'm very excited for what's to come
and next up we have odoroshi hi hello i'm odoroshi uh i am a sewer goblin that's been dug up to be a
part of the cast here um step up step up yeah exactly um you can find me on twitter at odoroshi
writer uh in which i mostly just post uh various yugioh memes
yeah and uh you will probably see me around on a couple of future projects for alfred busa
and uh yeah that's me you did the logo for hunter the parenting i did do the logo for hunter the
parenting i do graphic design sometimes and next up we have speaker d how you doing buddy hi it's
another day in paradise i am speaker t i am also one of the uh lead writers for alpha abuse's various
over-opening projects including hunter the parenting where i also voice the eponymous big d and uh i'm
very excited for us all to be back and our illustrious game master thurston hillman who will be torturing
us today how you doing man sorry i'm getting in the dark soul spirit everybody has to have an ominous
laugh right he's over there see the skull yes yes uh thurston hillman uh you can find me on all the
things that on called gm including the twitches where i've been doing like dark souls playthroughs
to get in the spirit for this uh i'm uh not as involved with the alfred busa stuff this is my
companions are at this time but i am a developer for uh paizo and i work on pathfinder and starfinder
and then i was also the gm for warhams woo and now i'm gonna gm for nerd declaration and uh yeah
that's uh that's me boo boo awesome and i am your host zon the bear uh this has been a long time
in production and i'm so so happy that we finally get this in here and go through this uh we have
actually a lot of neat stuff for the overlay uh just so you are aware um that you can't see the
characters right now this is just for people who are just kind of coming in um and you will not be
able to see them just yet we'll introduce them and show them off as a go but they have a special
bar thing um in the system that we're playing right now to kind of run the entire thing is
pathfinder second edition so if you've ever been curious about that system this is that is the one
that we've chose to kind of facilitate our stories here today um one of the major mechanics of the
pathfinder second edition is hero points hero points basically allow you to re-roll a d20
and sometimes that can help you sometimes you go oh yeah i rolled a 13 and now you re-rolled it and
maybe you get like an 18 or something and it'll work great um sometimes you can re-roll it and you'll
get a natural one it can either help us a lot or severely ruin us because critical failures are an
actual mechanic that happens in the game and for anyone curious of the virtual tabletop that we're
using we're using foundry virtual tabletop we found that it works fantastic for um you know
it's fantastic for pathfinder second edition it makes it really easy to play a lot of the features
in it are amazing and so that's what we're going to be using it on um so yeah if you've ever
wanted to uh check us out and everything else and also see what rock grind is all about one of the
fantastic things we do as well is that we can actually provide you the content of the stuff
that we're working on um you can go to our patreon at patreon.com forward slash a narrative declaration
and you can find the primer it's free it's absolutely free for everyone to download uh the
hop in just get an idea of what rock grind is so feel free to head over to our patreon and so do that
or do exclamation point patreon and chat so with that thurston i think that's all this
spills i got going on are you ready um you mentioned the the narrative declarations that
we're doing yeah right we're good on thank you yeah right i didn't mention that so as we get hero
points thank you for reminding me as we get hero points um we you get a total of three of them in
this game if we spend two we do basically our namesake now a narrative declaration and that's the
thing that we did with the previous campaign we did war hymns because in wrath and glory a narrative
declaration was a thing that we did when we spent a resource we really like that mechanic so much to
where we basically made it our name now and we have to spend two hero points to do a narrative
declaration so we felt that was a good enough resource to kind of go in there and a lot of
shenanigans can still happen so we're super super excited for that is there anything else i potentially
missed no i i i think i think we're we're good on that front awesome yeah yeah and stay tuned to any
future posts for how things are running how things are distributing everything else so with that
thurston i think you can go ahead and give people a spiel of the venture oh welcome welcome to the realm
of boxed text no um but again seriously before i get started just thanks to everybody this support is
utterly fucking amazing and you're great and yeah we're gonna jump in and get into this thing
so let us get going with the rot grind campaign welcome to the world of tyne and the rot grind campaign
the year is 300 pr or post rot in keeping with the first recorded case of the rot as recorded by the
university about it for the past 300 years the rot a mysterious illness has infected time
this sickness overtakes both body and mind and some scholars blame it for a growing state of apathy
that has taken root in many of tyne stations our tale begins on the continent of perdole a land
mostly comprised of the fractious nations and city-states informally known as the inheritor
lands these are the survivors of the collapse of the empire of the first house following its former
leader's ascension to divinity these nations still cling to the false hope that they can reclaim the
empire's former mandate and restore the glory that once was to the north of the inheritor lands is a
frozen tundra ruled over by undead nobility who resisted the empire of the first house and still
cling to their holdings these lands are now known as the mourn-wracked expanse and only the desperate
or foolish travel there which means i'm sure this campaign is gonna go there let's not kid ourselves
uh elsewhere along perdoma's western coast is a jet of swamplands known simply as the solitude
this place is named not only for its desolate nature but for its notorious difficulty to access as a result
of an ancient divine punishment at the heart of the solitude is outset the so-called city of a million
faces and the place where our story begins outset is one of tyne's largest settlements it is the world's
oldest settlement and is vertically developed 20 stories of compacted buildings make up its base
while some of outset's districts rise up almost 120 stories in height outset is a maze of buildings
concourses and fossils the city is roughly divided into nine great pilaster districts each of these
districts are built around magical ever-expanding pillars new construction constantly attempting to
keep up with the pilasters as they rise powerful guilds operate in outset and their power is felt
from the highest spire to the lowest levels leaders of the most powerful of these guilds maintain seats on
outset's ruling body the assembly to have any political power and outset requires having your
guild be recognized and only the assembly can provide such recognition some democratically elected
citizens with no guild affiliation fill the assembly seats though speculation of their corruption is
common gossip our tale however does not begin the glittering spires or even close to it our tale
appropriately begins in the lowest level of the pawns plaster it is one of the districts that
doesn't even have a plaster as the eponymous pawns plaster long ago fell into the earth and left only a
depthless sinkhole in its wake and much like how the pillar of this district was long forgotten
so are many souls who have been condemned to imprisonment by the corrupt law enforcers of the tyrants guild
the destinies of six heroes begin in a cramped prison and outsets lowest levels
urndale my friend would you please describe what your character looks like and about your character
the fellow who i will be piloting this campaign is a rather average looking man from all accounts he is
about six foot he's of average athletic build and he is generally got decent posture but he slouches when
he is not particularly interested in how people look at him which is quite often i'm going to point out
he has most vexingly of all a large metal can can be charitably described as a paint bucket with a
metal slit carved into it where his eyes would be he wears this so as to preclude being summarily shot
in the head while wearing it via arrow or pistol bullet ideally he wears a long ragged coat of
decent make he keeps in good condition and he has bandoliers upon bandoliers of alchemical reagents and
goods for either immediate use emergency use or recreational use and he wears four armor a simple
breastplate to cover his chest again because those are the two most important parts is your head and
your chest that's where all your organs are that matter the rest you could probably afford to lose at
least one of them excellent we find baldrick has it well baldrick is in this prison complex and is going
through a process at this point he has been brought to a desk where unlike many of the other prisoners
here the guards have not confiscated baldrick's various various sundry alchemical items uh instead
what we have behind the desk is a large half orc with a shattered uh tusk on his left side of his face
bedecked in plated armor that displays the sort of skull based iconography of the the local law
enforcement the tyrants guild this this guard looks up at you and baldrick you're no stranger to prison
uh you've had some altercations with the government in the past so as you as you look into this guard's
face you recognize this this half orc guard as homo and homo looks at you with sort of a shake of his
head baldrick weathers looks like you're going back in what was it for this time uh same trumped up
charges as always you know do i really have to spell it out for you you've got the papers well it looks
like you well they say you blew up an orphanage is that is that true
i need to ask you something homo how many times have you seen me through here and how many orphanages
have they said i've blown up i've never thought about it that way i would mean there'd have to be
a lot of orphanages here yes so i haven't but you know that doesn't really matter and that does it
well maybe that's okay though uh we're not taking your stuff because we know you're probably just
gonna take the option of fighting your way out of here again is that safe to assume oh yeah very
easily i mean all right we'll be out in a couple days oh easier than that i think we got the pit fights
all ready to go for you all right take mr weathers to his cell and the the like shadow guards emerge
from behind you and walk you only only a few feet away maybe 15 feet to the to a side cell with the
door open it has a fairly like fairly spacious appearance to it um though it has i would say a
set of fairly ominous background as well um you can see that light is seeping in through a barred cell
there are hanging chains in the corner of the room and in fact a shattered skull there is a section of
the chamber that is entirely uh covered in darkness but you are led in and as you you take your as you
you take your step in baldrick uh you can tell that the next person in line for processing has been
brought up uh and the next person to be bought before homo hulky crow would you describe your character
to the masses
so the character that i will be playing or portraying for this campaign
is a very large wooden boy he is a towering figure an amalgamation of
both rotted and growing wood vines and dilapidated metal he stands upon two digitigrade legs
ending in odd semi-mechanical feet
his shoulders almost two bulwarks of well wooden vine enclosing a very large and what would be
very aptly described as a barrel chest within which a churning orb of raw star stuff always
changing shifting like the universe itself staring back
nestled within a cradle of vines keeping it tucked away from both prying eyes and
those who would do it harm
his head is almost skull-like for as often as you could see a skull and what you could describe a skull
as crowned with a metal flange not unlike that of royalty of ancient times but all the more
overgrown tarnish with the stains of time
leaves coming out in a fine plumage almost avian in nature
his left arm mostly mechanical held together by that same
wood that makes up the rest of his body as well as vines and as a counterpoint his right arm
really more wood than metal almost living growing and shrinking as he desires
in the center of that skull-like head
set a viridian green lens at the center of that a lambent yellow ring acting as a rudimentary pupil
right um hummel like looks at you um
um the papers here say you're a rahua is that right
yes that is correct my name is rahua
right um i typically have to denote the ancestry of our inmates um should i write tree
well that wouldn't be entirely incorrect uh all right tree
uh what were you here for a tree man
well i was just standing about and there was a quite nice little animal that i was chasing around
and well apparently people don't like it when you chase them through their stores and break their
very expensive dishwares home goods people people are surprisingly fragile do you know that
no oh well i didn't know that but now i know and it is a very useful fact
needless to say that i owe them a lot of money and i did not have that money so now i am here
right uh have you been in in a prison before
no all right first timer all right so how this works is you get two options you can by the right
of the assembly you can legally challenge it within the judicium in the king's plaster uh current wait
times are about for a case like this three to four years during which you would be uh imprisoned
within one of the tyrants guild cells or exported so to speak to the baron's palastia where you would
have to survive on your own until the date of your trial now the alternative option here which uh
our current uh fellow in there and the other group have already agreed to is to engage in a
bout against some of the tyrant guild aspirants to help train them uh we give you a little bit of a
rough and tumble tussle with them and then you can get out the split you'll take a little bit of a
beating and that's all right then we get you out how's that sound oh violence is great i want to do
that right okay put him with baldrick the two guards come up behind you like and then we have
to set the scene these guards are like two feet shorter than you sort of like escorting you towards
the cell which the the grading on the cell is just low enough that you'd have to like
lower your head under uh and we're who as you do this you can see uh baldrick weathers is inside the
cell he is he is inspecting the manacles and he's gonna complain to the guard
do you assholes not oil these like last time i swear to god they're gonna squeak every time i try to lay
down here oh yeah don't you have some oil in there one of the guards says walter's gonna tilt his head
i'm not going to do your job for you this crap's expensive yeah well then it's gonna squeak they
close the door and putting putting rahua and uh baldrick together jackass so hi baldrick
yeah yeah that's that's me um you uh you you're a tree well more aptly i'm a kanrasu but
many people find it simpler to call me a tree because it's not entirely incorrect
kanrasu's fine thank you i appreciate that yeah so get comfy because uh because we got a few more
people coming in probably i have to ask do they put rahua in in shackles were they oh no none of
you are shackled they just put you out okay yeah baldrick's just looking at the manacles hanging from
the ceiling exactly finding something to complain about so this is where they put people who can't
pay for things and all i have to do is either wait or i have to kill things to get out uh not necessarily
not being able to pay a fine but you know same same general gist i guess he must have done something
to piss him off i broke some plates that's it i mean i kind of destroyed a shop but it was their
own fault it was in the way of a small animal no you're a vandal okay simple enough
uh so with with that we we cut back to homel and we hear some kind of commotion um something
beyond the the view of our of our camera and homel looks up from his desk looking to the
hallway beyond where the these prisoners are being processed through um and before before we see our
next character we we hear her voice um odoroshi what is volley saying to the guards who are bringing her
in for uh to be processed no no no no big guy the hat stays the hat and the flask stay what what
am i gonna do with it huh and and emerging is is our next character to be processed by by homel uh let
us uh introduce odo's character odo will you describe your character to everybody yes of course
uh so the character kind of marching into the scene kind of stumbling half um almost half drunkenly
into frame is this uh relatively mid-height woman with this startling blue skin uh kind of like this
sky blue color and this ostentatious deep blue coat with this big feather collar that wraps around her neck
and shoulders uh on her head a matching blue uh on her head a matching blue hat with a tuft of
feathers kind of extending like a good foot behind her these long long long pointed ears and these
swirling cloud-like patterns that come up her arms she kind of staggers and looks over to the the half
orc and kind of you tell him that the hat and the flask stay right um well have you been in prison here
before reach onto her hip and pull out the flask and unscrew it have i this shithole no not not
particularly right well well there's two ways you can go about it um the first is you can try to
legally argue your case which will take approximately three to five years for your case to be heard uh
during which time you'll be contained in the prison cell of the tyrant skills operation perhaps even uh
taken to the baron's blaster where you will be hunted until such time as your case emerges or uh you
can engage in some of the arena fighting uh to train up our new aspirants it's a one bout you get
bit roughed up by some some aspirants and then we let you go which would you prefer three to five years
fuck that buddy takes a long swig yeah i'll poke some holes in your aspirants i mean are they ready
for me he like looks up and down at you uh do you fight with a hat no i don't fight with a
a rapier if you please are you are you providing things we've got we've got your equipment uh it's
all in storage minus the that the flask there um thank you you can keep that in the flask where
you go in the cell take take this one in the cell and like the two guards like start to like
push you along and there better not be any fingerprints on it
as shakes his head writing things down oh wait wait wait wait what was your uh ancestry again i've got a
sea elf here is that roy no i'm a sylph dummy sue sue oh you want to i want to free as the sky old
powers gotcha all right then send her in don't call me old and then volley you are you are led into the
cell where both rahua and baldrick are are milling about and the cell opens and you are admitted in
so they sent me in here with the bucket head and a tree excuse me it's a helmet and baldrick
i mean it is a helmet but it is definitely a bucket baldrick nice to meet you name's volley
yeah maybe don't call me bucket head unless you want me to call you feathers
oh feathers is fun but fine baldrick it is she he shakes her hand a little warily and then
you see his his helmet kind of recoil back a little bit i think your breath's like pure ethanol
hang on hold tight he begins fumbling around his equipment and he brings out a really quick little
a a a fire starter for a moment and he scrapes it a little bit i want to test something uh don't set
me on fire this is expensive as you can see it's got like stains on it her big feathery coat
yeah i can see that well i take it you're in here for public drunkenness
piracy actually if you'd believe it you know high sky piracy stealing from the rich giving to
the poor you tend to get arrested for that stuff nowadays and yet you're in here drunkenly stumbling
about like uh vagrant listen the amount of rum that i have just consumed within the last 24 hours
is between me and father storm all right well if you're gonna puke puke in the corner and if you
need something to stop you from getting you know jaundiced i think i could help with that oh i like
you already i'm gonna shake his hand and then i'm gonna turn to rahua so you're a tree
well actually i am a konrasu but you can call me a tree if you would like why are you so adorable
rahua will cock his head to the side gonna is rahua like sitting down no he's just towering over
you right now i can imagine valley grabbing rahua going i want a plushy
i want a plushy also this is the only time in history that someone gets away with starting a
sentence with well actually and then the response is you're adorable exactly yeah even towering above
valley like craning her neck back really far just reaches up and like gently holds either side of
your face you are adorable how did how did they make a tree cute anyway would you say your name was
i am rahua at least that is what i am known as well it's a pleasure to meet you i'm valley it is a
pleasure to meet you too and rahua will extend his right arm down her shrink it just a little bit to
not crush your dainty little hand i'm gonna shake it oh how wonderful and and as you anyway you uh
like you shake the uh the tree that is rahua's hand um there is the sound of footsteps uh but it is not
another um another member of of our intrepid band no in fact um walking in is a is a one of the lone
guards who goes up to homel scratching at the side of the table oh sir have you ever considered the
political uh faculties that bind us to this place and uh the socio-economic positions that we're in as
gods oh fuck me word homel looks like turns his head the the the shattered jaw oh oh yeah
we'll think i have an idea who the next one is all right if it's who i think just just just send
him in now let's get this over with um speaker d my friend would you like to describe your character
as they enter in on the scene the door is open deafeningly
multiple guards flank this individual and though many are taller than this man known as tanhauser
they seem small in comparison with just the purpose and driven magnitude in which they strive beneath a
black cloak lies drab attire that seems fit almost for a military uniform though it matches no known
fatigues of this world and deeper still from that is machinery these surely must be gauntlets yet they
move with the fluidity of flesh and on the face with two piercing green eyes is a mask a respirator
trailing to further into his chest leading to a place that his cloak and clothes obfuscate he moves forward
with a scarred with a scarred face and abject purpose
right um state your name for the records holmes lee you've gained weight
state your name for the record sir please no i'd rather us have a conversation it's been so long
i'm excited you're still dumb enough to let me in you and your tyrants guilt oh you should have killed
me a long time ago you know my name holmes lee write it in your book mr tanhauser yes pronounced hauser
actually oh tanhauser right right right right um ancestry ask your mother
will you be seeking the legal way out or will you be wanting to fight in the arena this time
i figured that i would take advantage of my imprisonment to kill some police officers now if
you don't mind aspiring police officers please oh my apologies now if you don't mind leading me to
your university of crime i would very much like to get myself acclimated with the seeds of
revolution looks to the guards around you yeah take them to the cell with boldrick and the tree
and the captain and the the like coterie of guards secret service like pushes you in uh where you come
just as like volley and rahua have finished shaking hands yes take me to the what the tree
and then you walk into the cell where you see the immense proof hello i am rahua hi there oh what
the fuck is your problem they weren't lying about the tree he is a tree kanrasu i'll enter in to the um
cell which i assume is getting slightly cramped at this point yeah yeah boldrick's not standing in the
middle he's like slumped off to the side now lands in his pockets i'll uh walk on and take a seat
cross-legged on the floor and just crack my knuckles as i do the fingers go back to such an extent to
where it seems like they break before they just come back into place that's a cool trick do it again oh
thanks i'll do it again cool watch this one and he does it to the other one
pretty cool right that is very cool thank you so let's talk about revolution oh oh word comrade
lay it on me i'm gonna take another long drink uh wait a second but he's about to you could tell
he's about to get into it you could tell he's about to go on a tirade that would require a scene
transition and then yeah all right he notices he notices baldrick before the seat transition
i appreciate throwing the ball before we talk about workers rights
so so as as like as he wanted to talk to baldrick i think was the thing right
i just wanted to make mention to baldrick i know you do you i do
how did you wind up here oh no are they exes tell you what i'll tell you after you have your
workers rights statement okay well it's really more about
destruction than construction oh boy destruction is a natural part of life
we got a problem um boring that shell sticks in the other we're gonna have to move one uh
yeah take take the bird boy yeah move the bird boy over and like we the camera cuts to the cell
that is opposite to the one where our band of heroes has been uh placed into as the guards turn and open
up another cell where we see like the nondescript shadows of of four individuals and then like one
really like plucky fellow who's in who's in kind of like a a dirty set of leathers has a loot at his
side has like a chronicle book in one hand like the the camera lights like goes on to this this plucky
boy looks up smiles at all of you and like just says oh wow at like looking at volley and rahua and
baldrick contenders like you're really interesting people i i i i think you've got all store all sorts of
stories and then the guards open the cell door push this little boy aside and go to another figure who's
standing in the shadows they begin to escort out zoran the bear will you please describe the character who
is being taken out of the cell and moved in to the cell with our other heroes what they see is a
fairly young looking fellow with bird feet and large wings on his back he's wearing a sort of
like robe poncho or poncho like thing he his right arm seems to been seems to look missing until he kind
of brings it forward and is replaced by a wooden limb and as he kind of uses that as a walking stick
to come over to all of you he'll kind of see a scarf as he tries to scoop it up and it seems to be a
patchwork scarf with various symbols and things on it and you know i assume the guards are like trying
to rough him up a little bit like yeah they're they aren't being gentle with with with moving you
however like they're also struggling more to like help you get your wings under the entrance which is
clearly not built come on man just just just lay off it man i got my wings in front you already
clipped them anyway i don't need you like mess with me like that just no stop that and i assume i get
shoved in and go like oh hey what's up look up to see all the others oh hey it's a proper party in
here why are we sharing a shell with a kid it's like look look i'm no kid like i've i've gone
across a couple moons a couple moons what yeah like about like 19 of it look look i i am i've gone
through so many moons for it to be legally acceptable to murder me in a tabletop rpg session wait
19 days or 19 years uh like moon like the the the winter cycles
he's he's saying he's 19. you're 19. yeah oh thank god but don't worry he's really good the voice of
the chipper boy who has now gone to the the bars of the other cell looking over he's he's he's like a
really good person and and i was just just writing down his story but but seeing all of you i want to
write your stories too oh you're writing stories are you bali is going to breeze up to the bars
my name is jimothy i'm jimothy the bard jimothy the bard nice to meet you jimothy
he smiles cutting back to to or uh oran
he's like yeah could you like you know listen let him listen to all your stories for the rest
of his life because i'm done you're done you've already told him all yours yeah he's
look he stares into your eyeballs as he does it it's really creepy
does he blink no oh uh hey oran was it yeah uh baldrick is gonna lean off the wall at this
point and just kind of saunter over uh can i roll an alchemy to see if he's high
um yeah absolutely oh i've been waiting for this fucking roll here we go first the first
roll of the campaign can i see if he's high absolutely what would you like me to do for
that thurston because that is not a skill i will allow you to do a perception check but because you
are an alchemist i will give you a you know what in this case i assume you've had a lot of dealings with
with this particular type of class i'll give you a plus two circumstance bonus on that ball trick
jesus christ all right hold on so let me just give myself a plus two
and the dice rolls
yeah yeah the 20 was there and then it just went to the four okay so a 10 total um there are some
chemicals you're not sure like like you you smell some some strange things by this
bird but it might be bird smells you're not quite sure oh i'm not exactly about to to
ask him hey do you smell like a bird yeah exactly it's just like bird smell i don't know if this is
normal well between the captain's drunk fumes and whatever crap's coming out of him he jerks
a thumb over to tanhauser uh i guess you're off the hook
yeah thanks yeah don't just don't spill anything on the ground look look i'm not into drugs or anything man
really no i hate that stuff so you just sound like this yeah is there a problem with that respect is
there something wrong with me i guess not listen dude being straight edge is a hard road to walk
i respect annoying bird boy
he's been here for a minute well listen we're setting the groundwork for a much larger organization
we are but the vanguard and as i was saying once you've gathered the power of the underclasses
all right keep it down in that group one you're going in now uh you see like some guards enter in and
and they they they walk down with keys to the cells and then they stop in front of yours but
turn and open the cell with jimothy and the the nondescript for people behind who get like carted
out and we see the i don't know it's the final fantasy warriors of light who get like pulled out
first you know we have like fighter white mage black mage and thief who all like make their way out
followed last by jimothy who takes a pause in the walkway uh like quickly pushing himself up
against the bars to yourself all right when we all get out of here i'm gonna chronicle all of your your
your findings we're gonna we're gonna adventure together and and i'm gonna tell all of your stories
okay come on come on in the garden
kids you better learn to duck you better learn to duck i've got some stories for you buddy
i don't know let's not tell him stories but i'm really invested in that man's safety
yeah uh sure it's really hard to tell if you're ever sarcastic what is sarcasm you don't have time
for this look just everyone hold tight for a second okay okay he holds on to his staff
or who are from the back of the cell pipes up i also would like to know what sarcasm is
some of you are aware of who i am i am an alchemist of some renown you know ill renown
what's the word i'm looking for uh infamous excuse me thank you welcome so you know that presumably
about me i need to know what the hell i'm getting into with you guys before we stumble into that pit
and get our asses beat so uh rahua why don't you go first
well what would you like to know he's just holding one of the shackles chains in his hands from the wall
i can you do anything else
well i can hit people very very hard okay and i can look at them tricks
you got any cool tricks like can you like i don't know can you throw fire at people i could throw fire
at people one at a time can you do magic i'm not familiar with the concept of what magic you may
be referring to although i can look at people very funny and they tend to not respond well to it all
right sometimes they tell me i'm ugly just stick to hitting people for now okay uh volly please tell
me that you have like a gun or something a sword thank you very much the best rapier duelist this
side of upset why does no one take a gun what how many pirates do i know that don't use a gun i mean
seriously because i mean where's the fun and just shooting them from a distance you don't get killed
yeah but where's the glory oh i think there's plenty of glory in a well executed cannonade barrage
but they are very expensive so i understand that is also a factor but we keep that one on the dl
okay and how about you tanhauser fella seems to know me do you have any sort of
combat i would assume you do you're not just some kind of weird mechanical philosopher i specialize in
disrupting the unjustified hierarchy between tyrants heads and tyrants bodies in short i am a spell sword
okay that's actually quite useful we're gonna we're gonna you're you're gonna probably be doing a
lion's share of the damage at the moment we're gonna need that uh can you do anything else
well i suppose not unless you consider rousing academical treaties and uh uh calls for revolution
and uh i uh my hobby is fishing uh i do not so we'll move on to the burn oran oran
hi you said you could throw fireballs what what do you do again oh i can summon lightning
okay um aldrich kind of looks up at the ceiling
oh i can do it in here too lightning doesn't give a fuck okay well don't do that right now
i mean i can do it right now i can just bust this out of here if you want
i know i'm here for my i'm here for my friend ryan though he's like somewhere in here
well then as though as though to to punctuate the statement a blood-curdling scream is heard
from outside the window oh well i was here for ryan oh sorry about that well that could be a good
scream we don't know yet i don't know if there is good screaming going on in there oh by the gods
kill me make it this is this is not going well get well soon i don't think he'll get well ever
probably not pour one out for our fallen brothers i unscrew my flask and pour out a little yeah i'll
pour out like a little bit of hey hey hey hey alcohol's a good reagent give me that oh baldrick will
dive with an empty flask to catch whoever you have any idea how expensive alcohol is don't do that
oh this is not expensive stuff i know that's that's that's the good part it's mostly ethanol
hey all of you what hello you see hummel as like two two other guards come in looks like the first
group's done you're up oh all right well watch learn and cheer boys and and so the guards come
they they open the cell and escort you out where they they take you through a a winding maze of tight
tunnels passages uh the sounds of of like shouts jeers screams uh seem to echo along the walls here
then you're you're brought in a line to do a larger chamber that has all of your equipment
that has been perfectly racked on the walls except for baldrex who obviously they just let both
use his equipment um what are you gonna do stop me from making bombs i i mean you know right like it
could be um and so you were all brought uh to like to to the front of a iron port class that is
exceptionally wide you can tell it's the entrance to some larger theater of combat uh guessing that
it's probably about 15 feet wide um but actually probably more like more like 20 feet wide uh allowing
each of you like four of you to walk out side by side and then one to trail from behind as it sort of
rises up um who who's going to be in the who's going to be in the back who is not going to be in
the lead as you walk into the to the area correct
uh i guess baldrick will take the back okay
i'll watch i'll watch you yeah you got it yep that's that's the plan
but i just want to learn how to throw black glass bottles
um so you find yourselves emerging into a particularly vast area um it's about you'd say
a hundred feet wide maybe half as half as long with sturdy stone pillars the sides of which are spiked and
they have a diameter of easily 10 feet with with spikes all around and then further up ahead in
the center of this arena are four metal uh posts thicker pillars of sorry wood i should say thicker
wooden posts that go up to a walkway above probably about 20 feet above this this arena they allow
spectators to stand and watch uh and so as you you are emerging from this portcullis that is raised you
start hearing the the cheers and jeers and general commotion and you walk out into a well-lit
area though you are still inside a building because much of outset is just inside bigger buildings
there are magical light sources that shine like miniature suns in the sky here or the ceiling of
the area illuminating the various folks who are standing on top of the walkway looking down
um as you walk out though you immediately see what is opposite the arena from there are three
creatures that appear to be moving around the corpses of five others uh the most prominent of the corpses
is jimothy whose body has been like eaten and sawn by these these terrible crocodilian creatures his hand
reached out and so going back to my intro text it's actually the destiny of five adventures not six
adventures jimothy needs to learn not to split the fucking party um introducing player who will not
be in this campaign campaign um and instead you see these creatures in front of you and they they sort of
look up from their meal now sensing that there is yet more food on the horizon and so i will share this uh
lovely piece of art with everybody whoa and then i will switch our map over uh is homo nearby
uh no no homo has stayed back in the cells you've just been led in by guards essentially um and as as
these creatures look up at you you just hear the oh oh oh oh as they require vision shout with your
mouths um you do require vision why is the vision not on this map because we are as you're figuring out
vision yeah hey guys so i'm new here where are we going uh here and excuse me for a second i'm just
going to turn to the guards that have just dumped them in here if they're still around yeah absolutely
hey where the hell are the aspirants oh yeah not today
you do realize that i was playing nice right we are going to have to have a word about this later
oh i'm sorry oh very sorry god damn it that's the entire reason i made this trip
ooh i'm angry now take out your frustrations on the cross don't just this is no longer a fun show now we
need to not die there we go now we have vision all right
get these innocent animals so these these bodies are being like eaten by these multi-mouthed
crocodilian creatures i am going to get all of you to click on your respective tokens and set yourselves
into combat mode oh boy oh boy here we go here we go uh since none of you really like had the
opportunity of stealthy in here i think this is just all going to be perception for it so if i can
get you all to roll perception checks but let's go all right and got a 16. heck yeah i rolled
natural one yeah that was bad i like i thought i did oh i like it thurston who did this map
oh yeah so this cool map was done by uh one to tell stories who did this nice map and along with
this map and some of the the assets like the stats of these creatures we're gonna have a pdf or we're
gonna have all these files accessible on our patreon uh shortly after this episode so you can get all
this cool content yeah yeah yeah but first off oh good nope keep going okay i was gonna say but first
off uh volley uh you walk out the portcullis slams behind you um like like the the hand of jimothy
flops to the ground as the the lead of these crocodilian creatures looks up at you uh you get to go first
follow you what would you like to do and for our audience before before you go um what i want to
explain just really quick about the system we're using um you may be used to like move attack um
pathfinder second edition is based on a three action economy so essentially if it's a verb it's
an action so like you can move move attack or move attack move or cast a spell that takes two actions
and move so a lot of how the combat will move will be a bit different than maybe what you've seen
with like dd or other games but we're gonna dive right into it uh but just so you know three
actions is the the name of the game here all right uh as as this is starting up baldrick is just gonna
shout to to volley uh time for aim to please has ceased now is shoot to kill so don't don't screw around
you got a big boss uh and i'm going to uh move my 30 feet and then i'm going to
i believe i can tumble through that first gator up there um yeah as your second action yes yeah yeah
absolutely and she does a flip she does i do a back flip every day of my life all right go ahead
no yeah uh and i'm going to roll acrobatics in order to tumble through to get a bit of panache
panache that is a 19 because you are a swashbuckler yes indeedy a buckler of swash so just so so chad is
where uh the the tumble through is a way that she can get this cool thing called panache that makes her
be all like badass uh tumbling through is is one action you basically move to your speed but you can
try to go through an enemy square uh and in this case the the dc that you had to beat was a uh 15
so you are good you you rush forward then do do a roll through through this creature i assume you
want to end up on the other side of it correct oh yes indeedy yeah feel free to position yourself
oh uh uh now you have panache all right uh and i'm going to whack this crocodile with a finisher
yeah absolutely all right let go oh you hit all right so that is going to be hit so you a roll
zedema on this yes indeed
oh that was a bunch of bad um so you get behind it and do this fine fine like i'm thrust with your
rapier but the creature is sort of sinuously turning to face you as you've tumbled through
it so you only managed to to score a like a strong shot but still very grazing along its back
all right on guard little zilla i said shoot to kill i am also uh i want to quickly say i'm
sorry for breaking it up a little bit maybe lower odo just a little bit on your end a little bit
it's okay i got you got it okay okay and remember when you're done your turn just to click the next
turn button yes indeed otherwise i'm gonna do it for you and then you're gonna be like no i still
have action all right no you've seen you've seen volley dash up like roll behind the this this
creature and stab it uh as this is happening the crowd up on sort of the the the upper levels uh the
20 feet up on the wooden plank above are like cheering in fact you see like an old man with his
young child who is safely out of the range of child kidnapping you're like cheering down at you
yeah yeah yeah what are you gonna do uh oren's gonna go like don't wait i'm trying to get that
other one near you and he's gonna quickly pat pat pat pat right over and he's gonna target uh the
the crotalid that's kind of right down here south of valley and he is going to cast tempest surge
oh okay basically what that does you basically everyone sees a swirling storm of air and storm
and lightning just go pretty much near the crotalid and basically what that thing needs to do is make
me a reflex save and it needs to pass 17 or else it'll suffer uh 1d12 electricity damage and on a
failure it'll be clumsy too and take persistent electricity damage all right i will correct you it
is it is a crota dial sir copyright friendly yeah other thing other thing yeah yeah right
and i guess i'm a druid systems and i because i am a druid and for people wondering i am a strix
that's why i have wings and bird feet he's a boy yeah for some reason it's not like me to do the
reflex save there's just do it here whoopsha ha ha oh that will fail within you failed and he
will take come on big roll big roll big roll yeah and you can drag that persistent damage on
um is there oh yeah yeah it takes persistent yeah absolutely so so um so really yeah just so
you're you're seeing i click damage and it applies the damage you'll see the hit points cool thing
there uh and then um on a failure i am clumsy too i can drag that over onto it and then i can also drag the
the persistent to it persistent damage is damage that applies at the end of every one of its turns
and it can kind of take a chance to get it like get that that persistency off uh clumsy will apply
a condition to any of its dexterity based checks including its armor class you know reflex save so it's
really good uh so the seannis the crackling like bolt of electricity smashes into it past the uh
past the wooden pillar or anything you hear this just like um as it like recoils from that um yeah
oh also i need to rename this for some reason oh yeah and that will be the end of my turn okay
cronk of dial cronk of dial get cronk get cronked okay perfect uh so the the clumsified uh
uh crocodilian creature that has yet to be identified will go um it will um okay it's going
to to try to to move towards you so it is one two three four it's gonna not reach it with its first
movement so it's gonna take its second move it's rushing towards you having seen you strike it with
this electrical energy it gets up right beside you and tries to bite you with its jaws uh or bring it
on come comes towards you the electricity still crackling on it um nope it fails terribly uh with
it um rolling rolling like a 10 which does not strike you and then at the end of its round there's
another cool thing about foundry it's gonna auto roll uh it does remove the um it does remove the
persistent electricity damage at the end of this turn so that is now gone um but it's like sizzles as the
electricity arcing over its scales pop briefly and then uh that brings us to the next one the the
previous one that volley had struck which is now turning its ire towards volley and volley you see
that this thing is turned having taken the back strike and it sort of like raises its head back
and attempts to bite you nope um critically missing with a natural one on its first attack it is
enraged by this and so rather than attempting to bite you again it starts like smashing its tail towards
you not bad bad baby boy critically missing again with a um with a seven um after all of those things it um
it slinks a bit away like like retreating backwards towards the pillar just like out of frustration and
moving just like tries to bite you tries to tail and then wriggles away um and that is the end of
that uh crocodilian creature that's not identified as go uh rahua our friend you are now up what
would you like to do as you've seen your two allies rush into combat the cheers of the combatants two of
these things are weakened what are you gonna do my friend so rahua being new to arena fighting and
most combat in general seeing his two compatriots run up to combat will start
charging up towards the credidial that is fled volley just do the do the funny move i'll have to
spend two actions to start moving from a slow walk to a gradual sprint as he starts barreling towards
this wounded demodial his left and right arm will start to reach shift as the plant matter
shunts from his upper arms to his lower the metal reconstituting into a makeshift shield and a
rather brutal looking pick on his other hand go pick me pick me apart of course i am and rahua is as
he's running towards this crocodile the lens which is his eye for all intents and purposes shifts from
that green to a very stark orange and just slams down on this pitiful creature with his pick
no
here we go here we go no you can do it no no get his ass big number you shall beat him beat him
beat him beat him beat him beat him ah um you hit now do the damage i will do the damage here it
comes el dimaggio oh it's not very good oh it's not very good the number four yeah
four okay i got it you strike at it sideways with the pick so it's like it's like volleys come up
behind the stab this thing in the back then it's tried to bite her rushed away and then it turns just
like to see this this hulking tree man come and smash into it with the the side of a pick heavily
wounding it it looks really messed up and bloody now from this you can see that like there are
various other mouths on it that start opening along its sides as it looks like very almost sickened and
annoyed uh at you okay um that is that is that little dooders go uh that will bring us yeah over to
tennhauser take it good i'm seeing that uh the revolution goes well thus far
the copyright gator oppression that's right but i can't help but notice that we have one gator
virtually untouched so correct i think tennhauser is going to do is i'm going to activate my
arcane conflicts i will channel the words of my umbral affinity begin shimmering in and out through
the aether as mana flows freely through me and within this uh increased power i will now be gaining
uh five feet to my movement scene which is going to see me run to over here okay and then for my third
action i'm going to cast my focus uh dimensional assault whereupon i am just going to continue my
rush through space time take an additional move and get to the other side uh see i have to go through
space time but uh yeah there you go and just up here on the other end behind this um crota dial
pirate let's test our metal um and that will allow me to make a melee attack on this okay
absolute crocodile to explain why or how you're doing all this stuff you are a magus right i am a
magus and this is my arcane conflux yes this is your dimensional assaults is your focus spell you
conflux up to get the extra speed move up and then move get and well conflux move and then hop that's
right yes and uh so let's go uh am i do i get any bonuses for being behind the crow crow crow dillis uh
so it is going to be flat footed so if i press the f key when i have the token selected i have now given
it because you are flanking it base all right let's mosey
i do still miss by four unfortunately now but i do but chat has given you the power
yeah you do have one hero point thanks to chat and i think i will use chat's generosity in this moment
two five i will use chat's generosity to roll up one oh no oh no it can happen
the people's hero point i hit them with the people's elbow the people's hero quest people's
rapier all right okay and that's four damage but it's not factored in but i get plus one from arcane
combos yeah i'll uh i'll apply oh wait i actually might get more i think i get more against flippin
of targets uh yeah you actually do i think it's a plus because you are the laughing shadow yes so i am
plus three so that's actually seven damage yeah that's not bad at all so just a pierced forward
through the back of the hide bringing my sword back to bear and now yeah i look at really cool
fighting the crocodile
his sword buddies well i think you were done correct sorry ah yeah that's all my actions
okay so the the crow the crota dillian turns to you now um and uh is very unhappy with what you have
have wrought upon it tan house and with a a sudden it attempts to bite at you with its jaws
that's just its opinion oh it will hit you oh oh it will do 11 points of damage as its opinion
as its opinion bites into your thigh with like a terrible crunching sound um
uh and then it is it is you know what it's it's got you um i think it's it struck you it's going to
grab you um basically on the leg uh which will cause some mobility movements perhaps slowing you down
so you are currently grabbed uh by it uh which will impart the immobilized flat-footed
grabbed conditions uh as it's like bitten onto you but also it's then going to with its third and
final action uh it's going to swing its tail at or volley in an attempt to um to get her to back
off perhaps uh it will take a penalty which it will miss on so the the tail goes like widely like
flailing about and that's the end of its go baldrick my friend you are up next you've now seen
your allies have engaged these done fair fair amount of damage to each of them the crowd is
definitely cheering here uh what are you going to do uh first free action it's going to call up to
the crowd you're all sick people and then he is going to think about what to do
i roll to prepare an alchemist fire and throw it at the crowd no absolutely i mean what first session
we're already doing work right no i'm neutral good i'm not doing that let me just check something real
quick just to make sure i've got this correct yes i do okay
oh the cat has entered the arena hold on i'm looking at something that's okay i have a cat that
hopped on my desk she's saying hi to all of you hi kitty yeah it's a cat it's a big old kitty
oh it's a big kitty okay all right so what are we doing i'm in i'm not in range to help with that
crowd in the back i was kind of hoping it'd get a little closer forward so the most i can do yeah i
can't even remotely hit that all right i could but it'd be hard you get a minus two penalty for one
ranging right actually you also have far lobber don't you uh no oh no that's right you don't have it
this one not at this level next so what i will do is i will move to that bloodstain next to the grate
and you'll just you'll just hear the sound of clanking and clattering as he is busily selecting
alchemical reagents and cobbling them together into uh let's make it worse on this thing uh i'm
gonna cobble together a peshpine grenade since you still have not given me the nail bomb yes
absolutely the the proto nail bomb that you are developing yes i'm going to do that with the
effort of hopefully weakening this thing a bit no i'm not gonna be able to kill it with no matter
what i get but i'll i'll do this i craft that quick just he gets together a little jar and loads
a whole bunch of needles and like an explosive charge into it yeah he shakes it up and he is going
to hurl it at that crott so that'll be a minus two yep so uh that would be straight plus five at a
circumstance of minus two yeah you can do it badger i believe he shakes it up and throws
nope just just barely now now the the good thing about your lessons is even if you miss you you still um
get to do your splash what do you want to say zorn no it says i believe in you and then you missed
and he was like but i did rude i i assume what happens is the grenade like hits the the wooden uh
support pillar in the way the crowd like cheering as it does so and it sort of like splatters off
beside it now you're a bomber you cannot do splash damage to your allies uh which is good but uh you
will still do um you will still do damage to the uh it's one it's not a lot no but hey every bit
helps uh so do i need so i roll damage for this thing correct even though i don't hit it no no
because you okay it's just this pesh pines also have a secondary uh effect to them i don't know if
it's from the aoe though i don't know if it's directed or aoe um let me double check the item that
because i believe uh on a hit yeah it's on a direct hit so no okay well it takes one damage
yeah so it's it's got these little like needles sticking out this chicken um that will bring us
then to volley all righty uh i am already up on this guy's ass and flanking him so in order to get
some panache i'm going to uh kick off of this pillar here and just do some sort of ostentatious
big stupid backflip and hype up the crowd absolutely uh we'll see if i fall on my face
yeah which uh which which style oh nice which style did you have again uh my style is oh it's fencing
were you fencing okay yes nice okay cool oh god that's just it's good because you can also use your
deception as well as acrobatics for this kind of chess as well yes i could but i'm hyping up the
crowd that's fair that's uh you will succeed you will regain your panache as you hop off the the
wooden pillar the sort of like people can't quite see you underneath them so like there's like heads
that are peering over the edge awkwardly looking down all right well they better look at this uh and i'm
going to uh whack that man with a finisher with a finisher yeah yeah do it up whoa does hit you will
hit uh this time the finisher damage won't be that is better it's better you're you're my damage has
been i want to point out that during our playtests like odo just would murder everything in one hit
so this is so different i know i'm trying to fish for my crits but it's enough for you to stab it
uh through the back of the head uh killing it which will also remove the various penalties that are
currently applied to your ally as with a single like the the crocodile passes but that was just your
second action you've still got that was just my second action uh with my third action i'm gonna go
ahead and tumble through over here oh yeah absolutely pitch for a bit more panache panache get that
panache for next turn heck yeah hey i got an idea for you you can roll forwards and back and forwards
and back so you can do a flank and a forwards and one foot forward that's genius yeah 17 on the
acrobatics get your panache yeah okay in fact most of the panache comes from whatever the fuck
oran was telling me yeah exactly listen to my metagaming god damn it true i'm gonna tumble through
do a big uh somersault and just like keep hyping up the crowd pointing at rahua i appreciate your
metagaming his for the love of god position yourself to flank with rahua oh yeah true
forward and back and forward right there all right uh volley is that you're the end of your go
yes indeed all right pass the baton to oran who will go yes indeed i will eventually get used to
hitting the end turn button i'm gonna try to do my best to remind everyone i swear oh right
oran the bear like oran basically slaps his hands together go krakatoa bitch pow and then basically
the electric arc fucking goes between both of the crotal lids they both need to make me a reflex save
i love this boy so much okay uh sure let's uh let's see what happens for some reason that one's just
gonna happen it's fine yeah don't ever click that button it just doesn't work then why you gotta make
it man regardless you take the half damage and they're both gonna take oh that's right four
they're only to me for a dimanche for dimanche for dimanche for the magic for but you know what i
didn't move know what that means i'm gonna hit it with my skin yeah hit it with your skin i would have
my staff and i'm gonna look at that crow lid and because i already took a heart cell action i take
a multi-attack penalty because all three of my actions i could hit them three times my stick
so now i'm gonna call a pow with a minus five and fucking miss
yeah yeah yeah yeah crack it all right go ahead and get the butts on fuck oh my god
all right um do people invent this voice yet i might
i love doing it don't worry it's great yeah this is the running for my favorite zorn character
this uh this this like thing is like after being electrocuted just like goes in a flurry of blows
on you attempting to hit you with its jaws missing attempting just swiping you with its tail missing
it's crit fishing at this point gonna go again uh-oh bam the tail the tail hits you at the end of
that uh smacking you across the chest six points of damage i'm just playing it
just just for that i hope that that it just sweeps you off your leg like the lupin the third
coming through the car animation so so with that there is like there is a you you you you have this
happen to you or you also then hear from the crowd chanting bear bear bear bear bear and you hear
what i have no bear in my name and the portcullis on the western side begins to rise oh shit
and emerging it was a fourth wall emerging from behind the wall is an immense bear oh god
though it's not um it's not quite a normal bear because as this
so like shopping wet bird creature emerges you can see that its chest cavity is ripped open with
tiny teeth along the edges of it and it's like moves forward with this like
and as it like approaches closer and closer exiting the portcullis um you can tell that it has just the
most foul foul stench and uh luckily only um only our dear friend tanhauser is going to be in range of
this awful awful stench but like even just the the thing just whispers catch on the air as the the
crowd has been shouting bear bear bear but the bear simply emerges on its turn i like the note i still
hate the name the dank bear it's a fine executive decision i still hate it we all love it right
chat dank the dankest bear ignores my please to not name it like that you first yeah ignores my
please to not name it that he goes yeah okay zara and then he puts it in anyway zara if you keep
this up the bear will attack you first oh i know it will that's fine that's my plan
oh good um so volley you've come up behind uh rahua flanking with this thing this thing is is
quite uh quite annoyed and in fact will take advantage of something in um pathfinder second
edition in that most things in this game do not necessarily have tax of opportunity so it very
quickly starts like skittering around behind you it just slithers like a snake like moves like like
shifting back and forth sideways until it comes behind you uh and then attacks you with its jaws
attempting to bite onto you uh missing terribly also i had oran targeted too but that that doesn't
matter uh and then in a final fit of rage it attempts to slap at you also missing narrowly yeah
narrowly but but just missing um bad dog flipping wide uh rahua you are up my friend what would you like
to do uh seeing that volley very handily took care of the other crocodemon yes i'm going to keep our
burb friend alive and okay just just gonna move down just do a little moving okay oh you're like
volley's got this okay bye you do a little move i think she has this hey rahua our friend up there
still seems to be in trouble oh that's too bad oh yeah that sucks all right let's go
what a shame what a rotten way to die betrayed by the people i've known for five minutes
first death first death first death
oh no uh your pick will miss my my poor hulkedillion friend uh what would you like to do unless you
want to swing again i would like to attack again minus five absolutely here we go get his ass here we go
yeah there we go you did it you did it here it comes spoiler alert it's probably gonna die
oh
it's still enough you still managed to brain as we gently caress our foes to death in this first
session
everyone sees this poor creature just bloodied and fucked up he just
okay just drops it right down through his head just spikes him very good you're not supposed to
pet him that hard you were supposed to be petting them you need to be more efficient with this we
are we are in deep crap um bro is that your your turn please yeah that's my turn here you go
tanhauser now tanhauser my friend uh i think i think this might work i'm gonna try something here
it's dangerous um that's always the bad news yeah i know
uh but what i can do is i can get you to make me a uh fortitude save please as you
are now in the aura of the dank bear's stash i am in the aura of this dank bear's dreadful
radioactive based on the aura that i have here all right let's let's roll some
four oh i just slurps i just gave myself master fortitude by accident okay oh that's good
yeah you right click then i can go back down yeah yeah
oh that's a 12 that's that's gonna pass right no it's not uh it will impart the sickened one
condition um now you also however uh oh no no no it's just on a favor you're just thinking i have a
thing like thurston hold on let me get my wallet okay why am i i have i have a little something
for you you're just gonna we're gonna forget about that and that's a success right
so uh sickened one condition
um so basically you'll just take a status penalty on all your checks and dcs uh and you can't
willingly ingest elixirs and potions while sicken but you can spend an action to retch in an attempt
to recover which allows you to make another four minutes that sounds so great yeah you can pathfinder
second edition has the retch action we're good we're good i don't so here's the problem with that
how's he gonna retch with that thing on his face uh i assume that like he can temporarily take the
bane mask off in a way that the audience and you never see yeah it's like the lucha thing you can't
see me without the respirator yeah exactly exactly um do you dare to retch i hate what are you gonna
do well my plan was i got it i'm gonna get healed so i'll take my turn i'll use an aoe attack to get
the two crocodiles and we'll all be here to kill the bear that didn't happen because i didn't
physically transit my tactics so now i kind of gotta make it all death or glory charge on this
fucking bear maybe don't do that do it maybe do it i implore you to reconsider yes this is what we
do in my life character feels he can do yeah like it was he was part of a revolution and he's a hero
right right the bear is the oppressor tanhouser tanhouser this is not Tiananmen slave crowd stand
from past let's make this the final battle all right so four man party then right
these destinies are dropping like flies fuck i was gonna tangle foot the damn thing
what do you like yeah we don't need any of that we should probably help him um so um you're gonna
love this i'm going okay i i'm so i'm going to summon the power um yeah and i'm going to show
everyone what the actual mechanic of magus is as i bring my rapier up i bring it to the side and i
make a pointed attack for this thing's horrible disgusting fetid throat i'm gonna channel a spell
strike do it up do it my man my man my man that's a 19 hit uh well a 19 will okay and i should
have targeted him so that's my mistake so first up it's fine uh damage just gonna be two damage from
the rapier okay that's not why it's there it's not why it's there i'll apply the two damage i am
going to then channel my only level one spell shocking grass absolutely as from my hand is going
to rise forth my various motors and actuators and out will come a great electric burst straight from
inside me this electronic there it is for 18 damage so 20 damage total it's just uh my hand
electricity arcs yeah like it moves back like a pile bugger just this huge blast that deafens through
the arena um and uh you are also oh you're not made of metal and you're not wearing metal armor so
you're not going to take your system damage and that's the turn is it wet though it's it's wet but
that doesn't do anything it's dankness just just keeps it angry as it like stares at you looking down
like comrades uh well you pass it to the dead crocodile who doesn't get a turn so that's cool
baldrick you're up now you've seen tanhouser rush towards this bear tanhouser looking already pretty
but the bear takes this immense electrical strike and is like now looking down at your ally what are
you going to do i'm trying to figure out i'm trying to figure out what i can even use to help
because unfortunately uh uh this is this is rough um i'll tell you what i will still i'll use a
tanglefoot anyway because it'll make it harder for it to try and attack him later if i'm successful
so baldrick's seeing this is going to again rattle around his his components he's going to step up to
there yep does this put me in range of the thing uh i mean you'll be in the aura the aura oh uh no
that'll be just outside this tank the aura of this tank he gets like a paper bag and he fills it with
all kinds of strange alchemical crap and then is going to prepare and throw a tanglefoot bag as
soon as i produce that in my inventory so as you're like like scrawling madly to produce yourself a
tanglefoot bag which you you create on the fly because alchemists can do this kind of craziness
and then you have you produce this alchemical weapon and toss it in
this airmail
oh i needed to add a minus two to that but that's still fine yeah um so it is a minus 10 foot speed
penalty uh so it is you can tell it's now like slowed down by that as the tanglefoot like smashes
onto it and like gets all caught up in its legs and its mouth cavity chest that it has
i'm hoping that ideally uh what what was this thing's initiative again
um it's you know volley or and then bear okay so well
annoying because i don't i don't i don't have a whole lot that can really help with this and i'm
not gonna be able to do enough damage to kill this thing as well i wanted you to run away
you wanted to do the ranged combat nice well it's either that or get up close with a foul thing
that will maul you to death yeah look at you bringing tactics into this yeah i know i don't
i have tactics i never met her i have faith in my companions
all righty well i am starting my turn with panache so i am going to get some extra movement
yep uh i believe that the bigger threat is right there right there right there yeah right there
uh i don't believe i can get to any flanking position no so your girl is just going to
move move over here
uh and then i'm going to hit this man with a finisher
um and will the flat-footed automatically go through
um what is it flat-footed for oh oh wait no what is the uh
tangle oh the status effects from the tangle foot yes yes i am it's it's it's got a it's got a
speed penalty i have soup in my head your soup is fine uh potato okay i'm going to i'm going to hit
him okay whoo barely does hit hits though all right no proficient today this damage will be
better than your previous show we'll see stop jinxing it thursday that's not cool it's psychological warfare
there we go there we go 13 the bear is like incredibly fucked up by this
i'm going to reach over to tan hauser and like give him a high five behind my back
i don't know that yeah hi thanks that cool high five very ungracefully also you got it tanny
volley can you give me a fortitude save oh damn it oh yeah all the yuckies i had a bit where i was
gonna be like if you forgot i was like well uh thursday um i i could can i get a hero point if i
uh um help you out a little bit and then if you're like what are you gonna help me out with
and it's like i'm like okay if you said no i'm like oh that sucks and just forget about the four
two six all right uh fourteen you are sickened as well oh that's a smell
why are you getting close to it wait so i think the situation should be it's like she shows up like
so heroically saves tan house it's like how are you doing tanny it's just like oh comrade thank you
and then she's like
why are you all getting close to the bear because i i can't i can't hit it if i'm all the way over
there you have to get at the end of your go to mess him up that is in fact the end of my go because
yeah i moved moved so i could not unfortunately do anything else or ran the bird all right so i'd
totally so i'm going to explain you what i'm trying to do i want to go here so let your car has a range
of 30 feet yeah yeah yeah so let your car has a range of 30 which i apparently need to go one more
um so because it goes in between two targets technically he's within 30 the crow lid and then
bear if i cast electric cart when i get both of them or do they both need to be within 30.
uh let me double check i think i think it means they need to be within 30 of each other not of you
yeah all right you deal it uh what i will do beeps from one you deal yeah no no no i think i think
it's you hit the target and then it jumps to you so as long as like one's in range it doesn't have to
like they don't have to be in range well i think they have to be at 30 each other yeah yeah yeah i'm
clarifying so it's easy for you yeah yeah regardless i'll go in there do you want me to departs to now
or later no i'm moving here yeah now so i need to make it far too against the thing right yes yeah okay
i'm gonna go whoa hopefully i won't puke my guts out
hey 19. you smell the worst yeah radical yeah yeah yeah i exist all right
so real quick i guess i'll help with the bear now the real question do i
thunder clap his ass or do i heal do i heal or do i go i think i'm gonna do a little crack of toe again
and produce some flame at him do you talk to yourself often yes i'm following all of this and
it's very engaging yeah i hit him by one and i deal six points of damage you kill the bear just as it
raises up to attack your allies the ball of fire goes sailing between volley and tanhouser smashing
into it and then the bear collapses
rock on yeah my kill i mean my kill yeah revolution tears off his shirt like yeah
the remaining cronodial hearing
he kind of like in the mouth will come up and he'll like step back and go
pop pop at him yeah it's like trying to slap you twice just give him the cronolate as much
disrespect as possible like come on come and try to hit me
i'm glad my friends aren't dead i'm going to make that thing dead as well
yo rahua get on the other side let's tag team it meta gaming
he just walks past baldrick very gently hi baldrick yeah target and we do a little picking
hey hey rahua yes you might have to make a stinky save real quick no no no no the the
stench technically no longer i mean it's a weird role but it's but this thing is dead
when they're dead well things famously stop smelling when they die smelling when they're dead
like how every monster has gold in a wallet in a bank account yeah
roll me damage please here you go one day take his back and go home
all right so with that with that the um the pick comes down on the the cordial and you hear this
like exasperated like a whole bunch of mumblings from the crowd and you hear like the jingling of
coins and the disbursement of people above um and like as this finishes each of you sort of catch
catch a moment to to breathe um
the the the bear stops wafting quite as badly uh you all recover from your respective uh sicknesses
and the guards open up the the portcullis and to the east where they slowly like direct you out
and you see uh hummel there all right you gots to go now you just head down the path well baldrick
knows the way he'll show you to take you back to the streets yeah good job sure you made us a lot of
coin tonight i guess are you sure you don't have another three bears to throw at us four if you
won't pass but thank you i'm gonna pat his head we could kill them and um one second thurston before
we go too much further can i flag volley down absolutely volley oh yeah what's up i have a bottle of
yours a bottle yeah a full one uh i'm gonna reach onto my belt pull out another flask uh this one is i
think it's rum it might be right well uh thurston i would like to quick alchemy some arsenic yeah
absolutely uh that is my last alchemy for the day and i am going to poison the shit out of this rum
what what are you putting in there oh i get it don't worry about it just hold tight hey yeah
baldrick is gonna shout over to one of the guards who's probably like one of the guys who just kind
of shoved us in here yeah i'll i'll i'll hopefully not bother hummel too much yeah hey you yeah it's a lot
of fun today here on the house well thanks bucketed i always thought you were a bit of a jerk
oh drink to your success i guess yeah let's get going my rum uh on that up note uh let us uh oh jeez uh on
that up note let us maybe take our first break wait before the break ketten can i make a perception check
to see if he has like a hanging wallet that has like pictures of his family and his kid oh
absolutely wow in fact he's he's got like probably like he's adopted several orphans you know and
that's why he's like he's been mean to baldrick this whole time okay yes make us commiserate with
the fascist police can we get up he's got like his mic it says number one dad the another one says like
my husband you know so it's like
no speaker d and thurston making us sympathetic to the fascist police of time
yeah and the only reason he was mean to baldrick was because he didn't know that the orphanages
was a lie and he actually thought baldrick was an orphan yeah oh the deep lord yeah
no all right let's let's go for a break all right
i need a snack all right all right i'm gonna i'm gonna transition over and i'll talk the chat
and everything as we go on break so so we'll uh 5 10-ish minute break everybody yeah yeah yeah yeah
we love you guys thanks for all the support you're great
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for our patreon and more hey we're back hi hi hi we're back queen we're back you don't want to
know we're back we're back yeah focus the camera there i darei hey focus oh quick thing quick thing
before we start uh because uh some people weren't putting putting the bits and hashtags thing for the
players uh correctly uh i'm going to give everyone a hero point to kind of just uh refund them but make
sure everybody has one so yeah everyone should have one hero point now hero quest
so bringing us back into outset uh having completed your your task in the arena you make your way out
some of you more bruised and wounded than others but you find yourselves being led by baldric who has
been through this a few times in the past um out from a series of connecting passageways into the
streets of the district of outset you find yourself in the pond's blast
this particular area is built around the sinkhole you emerge out into not a crowded street but sort of
like a um a concourse that goes around several buildings that you can see at the distance multi-leveled
several of them have very similar appearances like they're they're templated buildings that were
built some of them are slightly slanted uh further off in the distance you can see the large shanty
town of wooden structures that are built off of each other and this is sort of the view you get as you
exit now as you uh as you all exit the the jail uh district you found yourselves in someone approaches
uh and she stands out from many of the other meandering sort of citizens or the crowd who is
dispersed from their their daily entertainment from betting on bouts uh this woman clearly approaches
you uh seeking you out she is a half elf woman based off of the the curvature and point of her ears
uh she's bedecked in sky blue robes but she looks very small because of these robes like these robes
are bulky around her and it looks like she's having trouble even moving in them but she she seems to
comport herself um she wears a set of sleek golden reading glasses and has a heavy iron uh chain around
her neck that has a sealed scroll case as a necklace um she sort of waves her hand up in reading to you
um and and starts approaching oh to whom is she specifically waving uh to to like the the group
like all of you as you have the group yeah oh the ladies are here uh uh do i still smell like bear
stink yes yeah just you smell like alcoholism well just keep calm for a moment all right it's just a person
um um if any of you have society you may give me society to give me a recall knowledge check to see
what you might know about this excellent i do just yeah i can do that yeah absolutely i can try and roll
with a minus oh i can absolutely roll a 26. whoop mm-hmm i uh i'm a little preoccupied yeah society
society holy shit natural 20. okay um remember to say your out rolls out loud for people who can't see
yeah natural 20. so so 10 hauser uh you do not succeed with a 10. uh baldrick and volley uh you both uh
critically succeed on this check and in fact recognize uh the the particular robes of the
office that this person is wearing uh this would denote them as a member of the architect's guild
one of the larger guilds in outset that is responsible surprise surprise for a lot of the
construction that occurs with the city um typically the the scroll uh case that's worn on the necklace
is would like hold like contractual deeds for projects they might be working on so oftentimes
their their agents will whatever project they're on they'll actually have the the deed to that project
that they wear as a deck piece for both protection and in case they need to produce it to display
uh for anyone that they are interacting with um so you see this woman and she approaches you um
um you actually um you know what with a critical success i will allow both of you and i'll start
with baldrick on this one uh to ask me a single question of something you want to know about the
architects would the architects guild have any sort of inbuilt corruption similar to that of the tyrants
guild or are they relatively clean um most of the guilds have some form of of
corruption however that is typically at the like very upper levels a lot of the people who might
be moving around generally would like generally are so this is one of the guilds that's more focused
on their business so if this is someone here who's not part of the political branch of the guild it's
very likely they're just trying to accomplish their building like that i have to build this so
that's their goal right yeah so you know that they're like corrupt at the higher levels where
they try to position themselves and jockey for power but as far as like individuals especially in the
lower mid tiers of it they're just people trying to get about and do their jobs okay well that's that's
good enough for me that's yeah that's about what i'd expect probably next yeah volley uh what question
do you have for me um oh god um i i would want to ask if i could intuit sort of what their goal would
be in this specific area like why would a member of the architects guild be rushing up to a bunch of
currently like freshly freed prisoners if there's anything that they would specifically want
specifically so i can know how to schmooze them yeah um architects guild will typically approach
people for a variety of reasons you would probably know enough that they are often um repurposing
structures or demolishing structures and due to civic guidelines typically those buildings have to be
cleared first and so they might they might approach adventurers or tough looking individuals to
clear out structures all right uh oh also uh am i still sickened after stinky bear
uh no no you're no longer i assume you both spend the time to sort of like retch
up yeah we got it on your character sheet look in conditions and the conditions tab make sure you get
it off yes i can we had a nice communal retching yeah no just as she was approaching just lean over
the railing and just yeah and you just went to that i suppose can can i interact with her first
i mean certainly i've seen her approaching just like baldrick just step in front of everyone is
that sort of the plan here yeah because he's had a long day he wants to go home so he's gonna like
figure out what she wants and then like not faff about too much yeah absolutely
all right builders guild all right listen it's been a long day so either and we're not a condemned
building to be knocked down so either you want us to blow something out or clean it out can it wait
until tomorrow she cocks her head slightly oh yes i really really appreciate your promptness this is very
good you know exactly what i want this is what i've come to expect from everything i've heard
about you mr weathers uh are you i'll try to keep this brief do you and your companions have a few
minutes to talk uh i don't technically speak for them they kind of just came out with me unless you
guys want me to speak for you yeah i like to hang you're pretty well known around here baldrick
regrettably hmm uh is there any uh money and or booze involved in this or booze money
ah coins of course you're getting right to the point yes um i suppose i should introduce myself
my name is marlene marlene lagasse and i am with the architect's guild as no doubt surmised i have a
task that i need done and after watching your bout in the uh the arena today i was going to go
for that first group but they didn't last long you did much better so i think you're all suitable
for what i need um i'm willing to pay fully in advance for this as well oh how about you give me
some descriptors before i accept any payment advance for anything because this is how i've been screwed
with your guild before of course well you see what we're going to do is um are you are all of you
familiar with the uh the apartments at the sinkhole uh i could be if you let me roll a probably a
society yeah yeah you can give me another check i'm not from here the society right here neither
am i i'll give you a 22 22 12 yeah not so good yeah um so tan hauser you're familiar with the sinkhole
like the sinkholes obviously the the fact that the the magical pillar of this district fell into
the earth and left a big sinkhole you don't know much about the apartments there but you know
sink um baldrick you would have enough information to know that there are several kind of impromptu
apartments that have been built along the sinkhole uh in fact you would have enough knowledge to
to to know that the property at the edge of the sinkhole is actually fairly expensive um so in
order to rent it or like purchase purchase land there and pay taxes there it's it's very very expensive
but due to some uh civic loopholes with how the the city's charter and taxation works what people do is
they buy very small plots of land like 10 by 10 square plots of land and then build like wooden
structures off the side of the sinkhole because anything on the sinkhole is non-taxable
so there are tons of just apartments that hang off the edge of the sinkhole baltrick is going to hold
up a hand as if to stop her for a moment we are not enforcers to evict tenants before you ask oh oh no
no no no no no um in this case it's it's it's it's fairly um fairly different than that i would say it's
the building is supposed to be uninhabited though there are some squatters who are in there and we
want to make sure that they are at least given some information that the building is about to be
demolished so in other words so we are ousting people well i mean not people who are legally
allowed to live there so we don't want anyone to die out of their potential hubs
uh-huh and if we don't kick the people out you're going to just bulldoze over them
that's the problem i'm not responsible for that that's another department in the guild
so i'm trying to avoid that because i really don't want that on my conscience
oh oh boohoo your conscience oh sweet right well i've done work with you guys before and if this is
the worst you can offer me oh that's not bad i guess this is not no rot infested building
no no no no nothing nothing like that uh and again the edge of the sinkhole is it it's
it's a building that's off the edge of the sinkhole itself uh it's a two-story tenement is my
understanding i haven't been there myself but i'll give you the address uh but i can also pay you gold
i was going to say i have 30 gold gold pieces uh and she pauses for each of you and like all of
you should know that's a sizable amount of money interesting it bothers quite a lot how much money
does it take to murder a guy
he's gonna just like hold up a finger like shush because he doesn't want to i didn't know for
reference hold on i'm going to take a look at this architect guild mistress yes i don't like working
with parasites like you but let's examine your proposition you're willing to pay each of us 30
gold each of us strong presumably rightfully imprisoned criminals you sought us out for this
and rather than give that 30 gold the people hunkered up in structurally unsound cesspits
that's what let's see over 150 gold pieces you could buy them out why go through us
what are you not telling us
well the potential for there to be monsters or other unsavory creatures that have taken up
residence in the building it's when i when i refer to squatters it's not just people
and i believe in fair compensation for risks oh we're exterminators got it well i i'd rather make
sure that the actual people are cleared out and tanny i'm gonna nudge him with my elbow we can
redistribute afterward yes it seems so
i don't enjoy working with this scum but she like her eyes kind of go wide and she takes a step back
like she's been barked at by a dog baldrick's gonna hold a hand to the side to like keep
mr other neutral good back uh dial it back a touch not everyone in the architect's guild is corrupt
just you're right high up the hands
i'm just saying hold tight
i'll do it we'll take the dirty money thank you very much i i assure you it's not dirty but but but
all right i don't refer to it as dirty just making it complicit look we'll take do you have just give
us the address we'll take a look at and we'll see what we can do she like shrugs pulls out a a small
map that has the the address on it uh as well as neatly divided sets of 30 gold pieces for each of you
which you could all add to yours all right we can go home yeah let's skip town guys yeah well good
campaign i mean what's she gonna do murder us you do realize i live here right yeah we'll go to crash
your place man no you won't why why not i'll do it i'm willing look just here baldrick is going to
take a quick second to like size up everyone else kind of like sidling up next to the architect's guild
person okay we have known each other for a grand total of probably about an hour yes
uh can i get a quick inquiry as to why we are all suddenly working together i don't recall asking
you to tackle off well i got really nowhere else to go my friend just died and you seem the best one
to know about the city so i figured hang around you a little bit help you out a little bit if you're
willing and uh i'll learn about the city and find the stuff i want to find not to mention i'm probably
still wanted by the family of the guy i ate what was that last part yeah i'm not digging what did he
taste like i'm not we're not digging into that all right throwing away the suitcase maybe we'll unpack
that later so all right hold on so we got his reasoning what's yours pirate well a little bit of
what he said a little bit of my own reasons you seem to know the city pretty well and i'm a bit of
a stranger here i'm used to uh sites a little further away plus i'm well i'm down a ship so
managing to uh make a little bit of money here will get me something that will get me far away from the
shit hall city i got a question for you how are you down a ship oh um volley is going to kind of
like uh like drummer fingers together it's personal so that was the explosion
in my experience her mannerisms are reminiscent of something a human would call lying
no of course not listen i just happened to misplace it you uh-huh did you misplace it into a building or
into the ocean well volley i think we're done talking to me volley has proven to be a true comrade of the
revolution i won't endure this slander clearly the ship was lost all right so in that case why don't i turn
that to you then mysterious red-haired mechanical man why are you following me around you i thought
you were following me don't start this but instead i'll simply say yes next you all am you all have
performed admirably within the arena which means that you can be sterling companions in the fight
against the corruption of this city i've seen inner idealism from some of you and others in complete
and unabashed psychopathy this is the most noble of mixes i'm going to level with you i kind of do this
alone because i tend to get in a lot of trouble so if you're gonna bring your own baggage along we're
gonna end up with a lot of crap on our tails real well i have some news for you baldrick i've heard
some whispers of your reputation and i'll have you know this if it was just you or just me against
that bear we'd be as dead as jimothy but we aren't and ryan and ryan never forget ryan who anyway right
so the fact remains if we are to accomplish anything we should work together as
a
a crew yeah crew
exactly well that's that's not exactly the answer i was hoping for but sure that'll work
answer you and i gotta be honest with you i i genuinely don't don't know how this is going to
all work out again i try to do this solo because uh what i'd usually end up uh excuse me he turns to
the architect could you plug your ears for a second i was gonna ask if i can go now uh oh yeah get
get the hell out get going my my my candle backed is get the out of here or i'm gonna screw no just
get going there's eyes in my office i like your shoes you need more work uh call me later well
we'll know i know where to find you guys it's fine yeah she heads like you did a good job with your hair
bye baldrick turns to make sure that she's gone can i roll a perception make sure no one except us is
listening absolutely okay i open up my sheet again because funny funny funny percepticep any any
bonuses penalties no straight up 19 20 yeah no you don't um you just like you you have the the faintest
like smell on the air of uh like some kind of burnt substance but that's it like and it's just a
common sense all right with no one else in your shot yeah uh i've kind of been thrown in this can
more times than i can count uh on account of i continue to try and work against the damn tyrants
guild because well uh i'm gonna level with you i don't know if you've noticed but they're not very
pleasant or well-meaning or good time i got that
well most people tend to forget that when it comes time for anything it's kind of amusing really
amusing in a sad way but it's not it's not easy life and i wouldn't expect any of you to really
follow along in that especially he turns around and then looks up at rahua you really probably don't
have any stake in any of this you're just uh you you really don't have a stake in this why are you
following me well i am completely bereft of purpose after all my creation is enigma even to myself my
only friend in the world is gone to parts unknown and so i explore the ever-evolving state of the world
i don't know if i can really help in that regard but i'm sure we'll find something
i'm happy to tag along maybe you'll just make enough money and you can like plant yourself in
the in the garden or something that's not how that works i don't know i have a question
yeah okay are you willing to die in blood for the pursuit of justice and revolution
rahua thinks for a second
i mean die more or less that's kind of the natural state of this world so eventually that's good
enough you are now my friend
that's wonderful and his eyes just wide give me a high five kind of rictus smile across his
unexpressive jaws give me i will give you a high five and he will just full bore smack his hand
with the townhouser's hand look do i have to do a check to like send him flying wait
oh why are you doing that now i got a thing i got a thing both of you keep making noise and i'll
make you actually high five oh no yeah keep yelling high five high five high five yes yes yes
high-fiving
it works it just works you can just this is the most asinine thing i've ever been a part of
we are friends now this is exciting yeah perfect terrific gross okay that all squared away
we probably have a little bit of time before we have to go take care of the squatter nonsense do
we want to reconvene it i can't believe i'm fucking saying this do we want to reconvene at my place
oh you're gonna take us to your house rad yes but i'm going to ask that you not make a big scene
about it okay okay fine siren's guild seems to forget where i live half the time and i'd rather keep it
that way sounds good to me all right uh urndil my my comrade in arms i want you to narrate because
we'll just skip ahead to you getting to the house you you make your way through the city um walking
along like crowded streets and passages and then large open concourses and like tight plazas again
outset is a city that is very clustered and interior so you're moving vertically you're
moving horizontally and most of it is inside buildings that are inside buildings that are
inside buildings eventually just got his hands in his pockets the whole time yeah eventually
making your way to baldrick's uh like homestead what what where is baldrick like what does baldrick's
homestead look like on the outside and then describe to us what it is on the interior on the outside uh it
appears to be much like saying the same all around it's the rather high-rise looking building where it's
probably shared with a bunch of people however the upper parts of the apartment in question the home
the domicile whatever we want to call it uh are quite obviously caved in and abandoned uh he leads
everyone to the rather intact and structurally reinforced lower part where there is only a single
building a single doorway that leads into a rather modest looking a rather modest looking home it is not
bedecked with any sort of colors however it is quite obvious that there are scorch marks there is rubble
there's even what looks like to be melted stone and a little bit of a uh like a gutter sort of
hanging off the edge near towards the crumbling interior of the pillar as he lives quite close
to the edge but not on the edge because he's not one of those insane people that does that to be
tax-free he'd rather pay taxes than fall into a pit i'm a criminal i pay my taxes
he's like it's a different kind of criminal good
hey robin hood was still a neutral robin hood was good and he was still a criminal
true yeah what do you got about that it's it's a very modest looking place it's not exactly
impressive but it's quite obvious once you get in that he's hollowed out a larger portion of the
ruined upstairs to hide other kinds of things what else would you dare to know about this den of
iniquity that is baldrick oh yeah by the way coming in is is the wonderful aroma of bleach and chemistry
oh that's a clean smell yeah just try not to breathe too deep
it's remarkably hard to keep things in the containers and do not open that sealed door there
he points and it's it's like a little it looks like a vault like a a one person wide bulkhead
has been very firmly like entrenched into the wall that leads to a next room
it's very firmly sealed and it would obviously require a a certain locking mechanism to be
opened up you don't think that any of you could get in there easily
all right you could probably knock down the wall if you were insane but he might have some things
to say to you about that hmm you know i'll take your word for it
what's inside that door that is a backup plan
can i see it no is it cute no oh is this i don't think
for the purposes of your curiosity what is behind that door
is exceptionally not good if left to open air so if you open up the door there could be a reaction
of some kind so don't do it oh
right now aurora borealis
i am not talking about an allergic reaction i am not talking about an average chemical reaction i'm
talking about a reaction the same way that uh if you if you do certain things with chemistry
sometimes air gets set on fire that kind of reaction so don't do it that sounds pretty cool
do we know it don't open the door red
take a seat i'll get some coffee sure there there's just like shambles chairs all around probably scavenged
from various parts of the nearby buildings and maybe even the above ruined apartments too but they're all
horribly mismatched absolutely um so as you you you prepare you all sort of uh are any of you going
to partake in some healing i would adore to partake in some healing but uh do we have the means i would
be happy yeah so so um just a note so we're we're optimal gamers here um there is the yeah there there's
the usual like use spells like heal spells but there's also uh treating wounds which is another option
available to us yeah uh rua you said you wanted to step up what do you want to do my my fine tree ish
right oh i was hoping to heal some of my allies because that's my entire point oh well i will allow
you to live your entire live your live in the dream live in the dream baby so what are you wanting to uh
uh to do here like are you wanting to like treat wounds or cast uh we'll do a little treat wounds for now
because i feel like that magic may be useful later on okay now if i recall correctly can you with an ability
you have used nature yes i can yeah yeah normally you can only use medicine like this but i think yes
medicine on tree yeah but but but but you which nature is your nature is your same as medicine so you
know whatever um but yes yeah natural medicine fleet nature is the tree's medicine uh who would you like
to to uh treat wounds on first as uh baldrick is preparing coffee uh rahua will go over to tanhauser okay
ah welcome tanhauser yes you i have decided are my friend excellent and so i'm going to help you really good i i'm
happy to hear that there is such mid-sentence rahua just his arms are held out towards tanhauser they both
splay wide like starfish and just tendrils of beautiful green vines snake out towards him and
and wrap his arms ah what are you doing
i am helping you hold still do not resist man give me a check please i want you to critically
fail this so badly make sure okay it's a 16 16 so that'll be a success so on a success the dc here is
um is 15. so on a success you the the target regains 2d8 hit points here we go so you may roll me 2d8
now reply to 10 as i receive boom boom what do we got we got a nine i have healed tanhauser the nine
um a carry basically it takes you 10 minutes to do this um and then the target's temporarily uh
immune to the same action for one basically so like you can essentially do it like every hour
and i would assume because again it's like 10 minutes per action i could still in this time
that baldrick's taking even after just keep going around and giving people
funny healing magic yeah the only one else who needs it is uh is orin
or in that's fucking terrifying little tree arms how's it going bro skillet it is going
very well bro would you like to feel better nah i got myself thanks man i don't you hear a
high-pitched whistling from the kitchen i don't want to i don't want to be a browser history i'm
going to do the the thing on myself
i failed i would just be a hero point oh please
please critically fail please
i'm at max i'm at max i was about to say so on a on a crit you would
regain 4d8 so for me to actually do that so to heal people you actually have to have
something to heal them with um like with a healer with a healer's kit or so uh so what i do for the
spell first is um is healing plaster i do that first and then i heal myself um and what that does
is basically in path or two to like heal somebody you need a healer's kit what this allows you to do
is basically i just take dirt and you go it's enchanted and now i'm now i'm good
in fact you did so good i'll even let you if you'd like to just
throw a little bit of that that plaster just to to top tanhauser up too because he's just shot
you succeeded so much
thanks generous voice in the sky oh oh you can hear that one too i see
you are both yeah efficient apothecaries this is good yeah you want some dirt no
why not it tastes good he eats it like it's clay just oh all right may i have some evolution
oh absolutely we're lost we'll take a handful of dirt oh he just gives you the rest of it like
eat up man this is rather a nice dirt yeah we will not eat it in fact he will
part of his chest will splay open and some little vines will snake out and wrap it up
my chest explodes i learned this from the bear
some little tendrils will snake out of his chest cavity wrap it up in some twine and just
how horrifying i was really hoping i'm sorry i i was really hoping rahura would look at it open
his mouth and go and it just goes right in he's like thanks
like i don't eat dirt that's inhumane but i'm also not a human or looks down disappointed oh
neither of you i think enough time has passed i was about to say so baldrick comes by with the
coffee you've healed up you've had some time to you know watch rahua do whatever the fuck that was
you know you get to know each other sometimes on the inside uh and then you make your way to complete
this task that you were given by marley um the the address that you were provided is fairly close
but is as baldrick was decrying earlier one of those houses that's built on the side of the sinkhole
now the sinkhole is an immense like just jutting hole in the land that goes down in unfathomable
depth and as you approach it the air here is thick with fog and mist that swirl around not enough to
really obscure vision in a meaningful way but enough that it kind of gives everything a low level
of pollution can i uh can i get a quick scan of this building by using a crafting check just like
in lieu of architecture well uh so so you're you're you're approaching the building you can
give me a crafting check as you approach it and i'll i'll describe sort of what you come upon here as
well okay i'm not using alchemical savant because it's not alchemy nope uh that's a big number 25 25 is
good success okay you can tell that this this building is is actually two structures um or at
least like one big structure that's leaning off and then you get the the side of or the site of like
a bridge connecting it down to another structure uh as you're you're sort of approaching but it's
difficult to see too far uh because of some of the fog and because of what you see is like large stony
debris that has collected around the edge of the sinkhole um so you can tell that the the building
itself looks to be fairly well established um with the the requisite like 10 by 10 foot square
of property and then the rest of it this wooden structure jutting off the side however it looks
like some of the wood has collapsed in places some of the forts haven't been set up correctly
um the lower one it's really difficult to see what's going on in that structure so you'll probably need
to actually enter in and investigate uh as i said stones sort of like large stones some of them 20
feet wide and cut and jagged are all around the edge of the sinkhole which gives it this sense of like
this was stone from buildings that might have fallen in in in the way back when uh as you approach however
there is someone mulling outside of the door uh and you see a figure who is bedecked in heavy
plated armor and as you approach you hear him pacing almost in a circle uh he's in heavy plated armor he's
holding on to what appears to be a hammer and then also clutching a immense steel tower shield
uh and he paces around and as he does so you just hear this hmm hmm hmm don't suppose that one's a squatter
i'll go talk to him uh don't fall hmm excuse me
uh excuse me yes hello yes hi the architect's guild sent us uh what exactly are you doing here
then i assume you are also here to be investigating these buildings for any potential squatting creatures
or individuals who might find themselves unduly evicted and well fall into the into the depths
yeah yes exactly hmm very yes very good he's sort of looking over all of you ah yes i see none of you
have my my particular problem here very good very good what problem well you see i've found myself in a
a slight hmm predicament one might say um you see as you can tell i'm bedecked in some fairly
strong armor i'm i'm from from the land of leisure bet you see so i'm uh particularly um
sturdy um yes yes uh for some reason the vision is working on the scene i'm gonna figure that just like
last time yeah it's there's a stupid thing that's happened here you figure that out and it's like hey
that guy's armor is pretty rad uh-huh just the average knife by the accoutrements of repression
right yes well yes um hmm hmm um well i i suppose um well i'm i'm having a difficulty see i'm in this armor but
well the building is made of wood and i i took a step in through the door it
it's it's i maybe i'm a bit uh how it is um heavy you too heavy you thick man
yes don't say that yes so oh it's it's a travesty i know i know i know but it's i i don't know how to
how to handle this situation i've i i wanted to go inside i mean there's that group in there
they seem to be having fun and i want to let them know i i tried yelling at them but they wouldn't
listen to me and that was very perhaps for this operation you are ill-equipped sir knight perhaps
you would best find a different position to go to i i agree just just well
yes i i suppose that might make some sense yes
well i what what exactly are you going to be to be oh did we just uh no no don't worry about it
he just he just did a fix don't worry i gotta click a thing and click a thing don't look at it chad
don't look at it it's my private all right this is private magic yeah uh
zara and you gotta pick your words carefully
he is very carefully i'm sure i do yeah i hate this family
yeah at least you have friends at least you have you got a friend and me right so what you're
telling me is that and then baldrick is going to go to the door and open it okay oh well um yes yes
you could certainly do that oh i see the problem yes it's all wood in there it goes off the edge
well i was referring more to the uh
yeah okay well can i take a quick step in look yeah of course again it's it's you see like there's
a wooden hallway it extends a good 30 feet downwards uh to another set of doors uh the wood here is
like decent quality but it's it's it's it's definitely like haphazard and sort of patched
together different different sheets of wood that better be utilized
so perhaps in this instance sir you had best call it a day because if you
actually
depending on what's in there if there might be some creatures maybe we'd be able to lead them
out to you rather than try to tangle with them straight up
yes yes of course i i could have my weapon ready for all sorts of uh tumbles as they say
and these lads some good old-fashioned warfare he like clangs his his hammer on the side of his
shield hey don't forget about the fisty cuffs oh i suppose i could i can't use my shield that would
be desecrating the symbol of leisure bat and i i would never it's it's also part of the reason i
can't take off this armor using i couldn't just leave it all right all right my friend my friend yes
yes that's fine in summary you can wait here all right who of our team let me think actually
we might want to go in and send just a couple people rather than throwing everyone indoors
because of this is truly as load-bearing as it says i imagine only two of us at a time could go in
right whichever of us are lightest so i would imagine it would be me orin and maybe tanny i am not light
but i will go so maybe just me and orin or me i'm not exactly heavy on this stuff
that's true again it's just the helmet and the breastplate i would say send in valley and orin
i can rush in if they require assistance the rest of us appear only if necessary
i'll wait in this little foyer here so you go and get their attention let us know how it's going
and if it's a rot infested thing let me know and i'll uh he kind of taps a couple orange vials
i'll whip up something quick sounds good to me orin my fellow feathery friend shall we go
sure i think i don't think we got to really meet yet hi i'm mora hi voli good to meet you
hi my name is sir crunch of leisure bet it is a pleasure okay all right see you there man
it's like he turns awkwardly like like the knight wanted to be included and it's like all right man
might i point out i'm having i'm having the exact same uh mental aneurysm that i'm having of watching
zoran play dark souls where he'd talk to an npc and then tap through the dialogue and i'd be like
like
i like how uh it's like usually i read the entire character's biography and you're not respecting
two lines of dialogue that explains five billion years of backstory look if i really want to
i really want to sass you if i really want to sass you everyone in chat's like oh it's a crunch it's
the onion night oh you skipped the onion night and dark souls you so much no dude i talked to him
i talked to him he was there he was like sup bro and i was like sup bro then i moved the
fuck along whole quest line okay um yes i didn't save solaire so you can you can get me on a cross
you skipped solaire stop digging yourself a hole we're losing viewers yeah cancelled um all right
so so as you go in um you see you see like yeah that there's a hole that extends on there is a door
uh there's a wooden door that is closed at the opposite end uh you come in and like whilst it
creaks you can tell you're still firmly on like ground um like this is this section here um
volley were you going to take like a trepidatious step up yeah yeah keeping my my footsteps light
i'm gonna try it seems like the wood here is incredibly sturdy so like you're you're moving up
it's not giving you any problems i see well it seems the wood is sturdy ish as we're walking through
i'm sorry go ahead i am i'm gonna be rubbing oh no you're good just motioning everybody might
want to stay on standby in the foyer here with baldrick uh maybe not all of us i think one will
suffice well that part's not over the uh over the dip it could carry it out i have no idea how sturdy
the actual floor beneath the floor is yeah also true all right all right as we're walking through
oran wants to glance around at the wood and uh i would like to do a nature check to see obviously
what type of wood it is what its condition is it's like it's a sure like like if uh tan hauser
walked down would he just fall through yeah absolutely all right well it's not well it's 16 but
um yeah so a 16 is enough uh for you to to know the wood here is um is a fairly high like quality
it's probably wood that's been imported from the nearby swamps solitude uh where a lot of the wood
from the city comes from um this is like hodgepodge so it's made up of like a bunch of different um
sort of wood sets but you can tell it's it's sturdy like this is well supported um it might not
be that good if you have legitimately like a wall of metal on it but even tan hauser wouldn't wouldn't
cause much problems cool and say hey the valley was it yeah i think they could actually welcome this
stuff that's pretty sturdy get it like i would tell you give a good stomp but it would you know
alert whoever's over there right uh yeah i actually i'm pretty confident they can welcome this
huh if it's so sturdy and if it's of such good make then why is our big tin can friend so afraid
of coming in oh well i smell that maybe something's being passed off onto us well i'm fine with that
not without paying me first right yes well yeah you're already paying we're also doing this guy a
favor baldrick's gonna shout down to them open the damn door well it's safe for you guys to come in if
you'd like just make sure to check on the big tin can see that he's not i don't know shaking things
while we're gone he will go next to the door and view the night where'd the night go the night's
just been like like sort of patrolling around here kind of ming and hawing possibly talking to like
rahua and tan hauser you have a metallic appearance and you have a wooden appearance my friends very
very very very good very why is that very good it's uh i'm not used to this land i'm for where
are you i haven't seen many people well uh but i'm from the land of ledgerbet in the uh the inheritor
lands uh surely you've heard of it before it's a very interest to leave this place um actually what
do i know about the kingdom of ledgerbet now you can give me a society what do i know wait wait wait no
go through his dialogue options and find out that's where the lord you make a good point uh is
am i am i touch can i uh just take a look look at his shield and i'll yeah you yeah object whispers on
oh okay so as you go to do that uh you go to touch it and but he like what are you doing a moment this is
my pretty friend shut up but why why i want it because i want to touch it why explain to me this
instant just want to touch your shield bro because i think it's very pretty and impressive and it's so
very cool bro so shut up it's infectious he reaches down and starts grabbing onto his helmet too and
just feeling it like this man just like backs up as like these two of you are fawning over pieces of
him like this is most uncomfortable i'm sure what guys if you're gonna be following me i encourage you
to do not fondle every person on the road i just can you please open the damn door yes i'm doing that
i'm going to open it tannhauser yes
okay you open it click on the door valley yes i did okay so you open it to see a like you see
several things at once um you see that you step into another room there's like a destroyed wall to
your left it looks like it leads into some kind of storage area but most importantly as you step
through you like step onto like a damp sort of like carpet stained carpet but you look over to see a table
upon which uh three individuals that one of them is sort of like backed uh backed in a corner and you
only see like the faintest hint of because of a wall um but as you do that one of them stands up
and sort of walks around the edge of the table and like like strides towards you having put down
their cards face down and this fellow comes at you with wide arms and just you know why hello
hello my friends uh can i ask what's going on in here now we are partaking in a bit of uh games of chance
my name is prince my name is prince du chef prince all right hi i'm volley very good very good valley
you are as beautiful as your name suggests as is your friend there oh you're such a flatterer
so you're here playing poker in this dilapidated building well you see this building it's uh the
atmosphere place as we like to call it atmosphere place uh how long have you been here uh a couple
hours playing trying to get out of uh todrick's toy coins ah i see i see well i regret to inform
you all that you probably need to get out of here unless you would like to be uh bulldozed who is
that the architect's guild is about to swoop in and knock this place off the face of the canyon
and like baldrick you hear the shouted response of those self-righteous fuckers i know i know
unfortunately we are just the messengers nice uh i suppose uh do you want to give me a diplomacy check
here valley yes i would indeed yeah absolutely don't don't screw it up yeah don't i'm about to
it i'm real hard i would like to aid if possible well like yeah like you know for your safety and
everything like you can't have like someone with like you know like wings like me and stuff and uh
there might be some better options a little further than the city you know closer to several you know
convenience meat stands and like well water that is not as contaminated as over here or something
so i think it would be uh you know to your thing all right i got a negative one let's do it
i got a dirty 20 oh i got a four um okay um i'm going to put a hand over oren's mouth
and you and you see it you you try to um but that doesn't quite uh that doesn't quite quite work um
um gosh um and in fact it seems like it's causing uh some some some problems like oren's like
oren's sort of taken away uh from from your diplomatic attempts um no volley can you give
me a can you give me a diplomacy check or sorry another one perception oh that's the one
okay dokey uh where is it uh here we go um
uh 21 okay so you catch the the slightest exchange um though you don't have a good look at the the
fellow you can see that prince gives a brief like i like head cock and eye back to the man in the
corner of the table um who gives just the slightest slightest nod and then prawns turns back to you
like oh you know what you're right we should uh we should go to another place come on boys we should
we should get going yeah we'll find some more gambling somewhere else maybe we go back to the bar
you know very good idea which bar fellows what's good here uh well you can come to
come to to our place we run it it's called uh the cackling jackass the cackling jackass now that
sounds like a party that's
what i'm gonna like ruffle oren's hair
so get out of ice and they all like take take their they're collecting like items so uh might i ask
you a quick question before you go of course of course i'm gonna lean in really close what was
that look for buddy i don't know what you're doing no you know exactly what i'm talking about i'm gonna
hold out a hand for him no i have a quick discussion before you go i mean i don't think you'll all be
bulldozed you gave him kind of a weird little look there uh while this is happening i'm just gonna
call out to the guys out there look lively guys
well if you would very much like to i suppose if you wish to touch the shield or or allow it it is a
it is a five five five hello yes focus i'm afraid i have something more important to do at this point
oh going to all right head on inside sure what's the situation baltrick
just get up along the wall with me here i can hear someone coming out
wise i'll uh i'll do just that and i'll pile up just a little bit further along
oh wait this door opens backwards so i'll uh i'll get to the other side of that
yeah totally um like at this point like process still looking at valley what are you doing are you
just like sitting there with crunch still yeah just still talking to him just kind of
just kind of hanging out it's being bros yeah just chilling well you see yes i i i'm a renowned
craftsman where i'm from you see in fact this shield of mine it doubles
uh i can turn it like like this knee awkwardly tries to do it one-handed and i can use it as a
as an anvil that is fascinating yeah of the things that you know how to craft i find myself a crafts
thing myself do you know how to make any medical cells or ointments no no no no most of uh most of
what i am knowledgeable on is things relating to crafting weapons and ruins oh i i i can i can give you
all sorts of runic abilities and such if you ever find yourself in need of a craftsman who can
chant weapons with runes or transfer runes off of existing weapons well i can certainly assist you
with that i think i may need that at some point this my hand only does so much damage you know it just
just kind of punches the air very gently it doesn't do much
very good uh and as we cut back to like volley and promise and promise like looks at you body
don't you just drop it we don't want any trouble here no i don't want any trouble either but is there
something you need to tell us because we're just here to make sure that nobody gets you know bulldozed
if the bulldozers are coming we're getting out good is there anything else we should know
nothing up here there's the the chest to that way and he points like northwards but we none of us wanted
to do the jump uh well we didn't go down that bridge there he points back that seemed like uh like it'd be
who knows what was down there he pauses and then sort of leans in the old owner of this place was
quite the character oh how do you mean um
uh madame brigani really liked hats really liked hats huh hats i mean i as you can see i'm a bit
of a connoisseur myself yes well i guess uh all of her hat stuff was down there
her hat stuff yes inventory of hats i have to find them well good luck come on boys let's go back
all right we'll see you at the jackass dealer bye and like yeah you start to see this group come
through goodbye bye i like your shoes leans against the wall looking looking as non-threatening as
possible and just kind of ushers them out how do you do that how do you do that do you like hold a
kitten or huh like how does baldrick non-threaten as in like he's got his arms crossed and he is
leaning against the wall he doesn't have a knife i don't know if i'm in the middle of night like with
the fight with a hanging building and i see you leaning against the wall your arms crossed i'm gonna
they're gonna get murdered i'm not making any moves i just nod at them that's even one of those
people pass by rahua he just says hello i'm rahua and just four more times and like the last one like
passes by you and like as the others continue on the last one stops and turns to you and you you
see this figure rahua who like clearly has like a bit of swagger is walking with like a walking stick
has a a fine top hat and this silent figure turns to you and like gives you this almost flourished bow
and then walks
hmm oh he's got some drip drip on that man oh he'd do be dripping though
he's looking kind of fresh though the fit goes so hard yeah he's looking wet of nice
well wow wow why
is that how you say it no is that like the upgraded fire
well that's the section dealt with
anyone else yes well we're going to have to check i hear that apparently the former owner is a bit
kooky for hats in particular hats i don't know if that's a euphemism it it's knowing this place it
either is or it isn't and i can't decide those are worse those are two very distinct possibilities
that it is or that it is not yeah what about it it's cool thing to say i don't think there's a third
option you know that's fine i'm gonna go this way orange starts going up to her the guy mentioned
the chest and he sees it yeah so you see that there's a like the the wood in this area as you
come across like now there's it's exposed right over the sinkhole there's like some like supporting
timbers that are like maybe stable there's about a 10 foot jump and then a chest at the end of it
oh cool well i'll get it real quick and is that yeah and uh with his i'm basically just gonna jump
with my strict swings i can more likely make the distance easy yeah don't critically fail yeah but
i don't but i don't roll for that oh you don't no you don't roll the normally jump you do it if you
exceed a distance yeah yeah yeah so i basically so how far are you let's see oh yeah in addition
when you make a long jump you can jump a distance 10 feet further which is absolutely yeah you just
like hop glide land by the chest just pitch it yay bird boy and uh and what he'll do is that he'll
kind of look at the side like he wants the nature jacket basically he's looking to see uh there was
like okay i'm gonna see what the wood it's like i'm looking to see what's going on with the chest
like see if there's anything i'm normal with it you know anything that might potentially kill him
and 13 fuck yeah you don't see anything that'll kill you cool what he's gonna do like he's gonna
is there a handle on the side yeah it's basically like a latch that you pop on top there's handles
on the side but it's a pretty bulky chest cool um so is the chest an asset you can move or no
um i've got the the items inside it so i can just provide it to you okay what does this mean if you
could physically basically he's gonna get over to the side of it oh i see and then he'll kind of
always like watch out valley and he'll kind of is it locked you mean like that
you want to throw it no i was making sure if it was a mimic i would be in a position to do gust of
wind and just off the edge oh no no no no you're you're you're fairly certain this is not a mimic
but thank you okay thank you he opens the chest do you attack it once to yeah do you have a lloyd's
talisman to throw at that next bit he opens the chest okay um so there are a few things first of
all there's a small pile of a gold pieces there are eight gold pieces there are two red potions
and then uh emits the the pile of gold pieces is a is an opal cool he's just gonna scoop it all up
just throw it in my inventory and i'll uh actually keep it there okay uh you can grant that access to
us basically and then we can take from it whenever yeah yeah that's it yeah so we can see it actually
and actually drag it into our inventories oh this should this should be cool let's make all of you
the owner of this let's see then you should see it bam oh uh should be under sessions and then
session over yeah give me a second then you should all see the chest uh if you go into the
actors and session monsters session one and then you'll see apartment chest yeah so a cool thing
is like i'd like showing foundry off so cool thing basically we have our character sheets and
basically here's a chest with all the stuff inside of it gold etc uh i think some of these with the
certain stuff you press the buttons and distribute gold and go it'll just give it to everybody uh but now
that i have this because everyone owns it so this just keeps it here i just drag and drop that into
my inventory and even if i click the item you'll actually just do all the math like for this healing
potion if i clicked it i'm not because i'll actually use it as i said don't use it you're not supposed
to click it and um yeah i'm doing something else look you can also do that that's right yeah you can
hide it yeah what are they who knows they'll have to identify them to know yeah so i'll have to
actually do work and stuff uh to actually be like what potion is this and i can just give it the
baldrick and he can figure it out and what that opal is i go like what's the opal um so yeah so i have
that and i'm gonna double click that and save it to the side all right i found all this i assume you
just have all the stuff on you so that's cool that is definitely going to come in handy yeah i'll
kind of give some of this stuff to bodrick and uh ten has it they might be able to figure it out a
little bit more before i move on hey let's go meet out with them hey a fast watch is the path oh hey
you should get going tree friends oh hold on the ground shit that wasn't the password
it's friendship slide because i like you i found magic shit oh that's cool i assume i hand him the
opal you can just drag it from the chest thing and then uh oran will come to baldrick and go hey
baldrick i found some liquid stuff could you figure it out i suppose i could all right thanks uh you
can give me a respective uh arcane and um crafting i will be done uh yeah so do i add my chemical thing
to that yeah why did i close out of my care as you as you analyze these items that oran has come back
and provided you i'll give you a 22 yeah that's enough for you to identify both of them recognizing
them as i rolled a nine you have a hero point you have a hero point then hero point you know what
hero point this is important so uh tanhauser is going to pull out the stops here and he is going
to begin focusing on this piece of machinery his eyes are going to start glowing as his uh cognitive
motors begin actuating and hyper-efficient speeds his cybernetics flaring to life and i'm going to
manite sir he did it he did it he's gonna and so now that i've committed my my once a session
please for the love of god has the skill check surely yeah surely truly wrong
oh it was so fucking close the one was just one uh 21 will identify you identify it as a magical item
called a mesmerizing opal this is a talisman which means you can affix it in this case um believe this
affixes to uh armor i believe um but what it does is you can if you make a deception check to faint so
like you try to faint to target it's a fixed armor uh if you try to um faint to target and you could use
it before rolling and if the check would be a critical failure you instead get a failure i see so it
basically prevents you say you have like a key deception check you want to make to faint to
target in combat you won't you can use it to guarantee not crit fail no matter how many do
i'll uh i'll approach vali and hand this to her you seem like you're more spry in combat
should things go awry with your many deceptions this may provide you aid
oh that's so thoughtful of you danny we're such fast friends yeah well you know what that's just
it's fine here step i'll take it i just pluck it from his hands okay so uh you should be able to
drag it off of the uh chest actually here i've got it all up so i'll just drag it
inventory and do you want to put it onto your armor or do you want to save it
like it's just an activation yeah so what faint does by the way is that you basically spin an action
to basically like you roll a deception check against their perception dc so you're basically
rolling deception and then if you succeed you'll basically make them flat-footed and if you crit you
basically make them flat-footed for until you know the turn goes around but if you crit fail
you're flat-footed against them which this prevents yeah
um also those healing potions um just for time's sake uh who who wants the healing potions
um i feel like the healing potion should probably go into the hands of the people
most likely to be slapping people so i would suggest vali and
that's very true correct yeah i i like this okay so i have uh given you another one vali
and i will drag the other one over to uh me seal 10 hauser and what i'm going to do for ease of our
session and just so everyone else can have this i'm going to create a party loot uh loot character
um which i'll give you all access to and what i'll do is i'll just put the golden stuff in there
and that may be sort of without having to decide right now yes i know it's our it's the people's gold
as you're doing that orange gonna lean over like come on let's go make sure the rest of the place is
cleared out okay sounds good yeah come on man and uh he's like you too about
we gotta make sure all this is kind of you know spake and span so we earn the gold
yeah i know i was waiting for that to happen i didn't realize you were looting the place
i was worry friend i will guard the exterior hmm yes let's just hear him fade
this place is already decided what remains within this spoils for the revolution
yes yes yes yes i know it justified yes so evidently it's a lot of hats yeah why would
you care so much about private property yeah so baldric the room you enter as you go like taking
that sort of broken down wall that was left where voli came into this this open building you can see
that it's clearly like some old like storage for food stuffs but it's all spoiled or just like has been
chewed by rats or other vermin um similarly the the group you see a like ratty um cut up and torn bed
that is just sitting in the middle of here um and then to sort of end off the the the entire affair
there's a long spanned bridge that goes on for about 40 feet downwards um so to the west but it descends
as it goes and you get the sense that it's about a 20 foot ramp down so this uh this building to the
west or at least the boards are 20 feet below this area hmm how stable does this bridge look it looks
fairly stable like it's well supported and the wood here appears to be newer and has a bit of a
a bit of a stronger to it than the others interesting so this is recent yeah yeah uh i'm gonna just um
um i'm gonna run across first just keeping my footsteps light sure and just sprint on across
do you want to give me an acrobatics check yes indeed if you're sprinting or rather keeping uh
more just keeping my footsteps light and trying not to like yeah if you're just walking across not running
across there's no check you can just walk on across just fine i'll follow suit
just seems steady enough yeah can i inspect the rotten food stuff to see if there's anything
interesting growing among it uh absolutely give me a nature check
could i also theoretically use could i get a bonus for that given i would know alchemical ingredients
when i come across them um i'll allow you you know what in this case if you want to use uh crafting here
too that's i would love to uh that'll get me an 11 11 um there's nothing of note here like this is
all like just general stuff nothing nothing actual super sweet uh and he leaves the room okay and then
yeah rahua and baldrick you're still there you're your companions uh or and i assume you just kind of
glided down i mean i i went over the thing i'm sorry did i need to make a check for you no no no no
no it's just the way you moved was like you you look like i mean i i know i i went across and went
down and it's just easier just to drag them yeah okay so you head down the bridge rahua and baldrick
you're still there the your your other three companions tannhauser sort of at the door
baldrick would you like to go across first it seems a lot sturdier for someone of your
he looks him up and down constitution i am proposing that we both don't go
across this so we can hold it together in case something goes wrong you know that these buildings
well you don't know this but these buildings no matter how sturdy they look always have a chance of
something going wrong do they now i wouldn't assume baldrick points to the large dilapidated
hole between this portion of the building and that one you know that makes a lot of sense now
what do you propose we do over here just meander and talk you can make it well i'm proposing we just
stand by the moment gotta make sure that they can come back across unless you fancy them falling
into the void inside of an accident because i don't think that's hey we need you over here
come on it's dirty you know keeping together with the team you can't exactly throw that far
if something does happen and if the bridge breaks then what i fly over and we just go over to the land
right there and he points to the cell yeah you do that what about those two so so just clarify
like where you are this is 20 feet like the rocks here are 20 feet we'll climb okay how about you just
go okay stay here you can all go across if you want but i think one person should stay here
fair enough if you would like to bring up the rear we'll make sure to uh yell very very loudly if we
need you up to you go right across you can stay here hmm are you okay my friend i'll be okay i just
want to make sure my friends are okay all right you're going i'll stay here we'll be fine big guy
very slowly we'll go across the bridge baldrick is going to sit and face this direction yeah
absolutely gonna watch that door watching that door
okay um so yeah tannhauser you're at the door what are you going to do i think i'm going to open that door
okay do i die yes oh no it opens up into a storage room that has two wooden tables on it um the tables
are all covered entirely in hats and helmets uh there's like various metal helmets uh some with like
long feathers coming out of them some of them like simple like caps of leather they're all just like
spread around these tables hold on move aside metal boy i want one hold on i'm going to turn around my
head uh 180 degrees uh to look baldrick baldrick get across this goddamn bridge there's hats in here
do i look like i need a hat to you yes clearly one of the hats has to be baldrick's but it's like
got like gold rim and it's like an embroiled bucket
oh trim your time you waste on that dilapidated lower bridge section the more time it has to fall
into the abyss none of you to ever come back so you know it's up to you i'm going to head inside
yeah get going what kind of not doing this to not be fun i'm genuinely expecting thurston to be like
and then the building started to collapse and the bridge was swaying i'm gonna i'm gonna start putting
hats on rahua just like reaching out like i think this one's your color okay oh let me see that okay
uh tannhauser you go up to the door yes okay so there's like another door on the diagonal sort of
this cropped room that leads that seems to go to like a section which you can tell from your descent
down the bridge there's a jet a further jet i see um i will open this door okay it opens to a room um the
back wall that you can see here is covered in shelves with like multiple hats like just along
these walls you can see probably two to three dozen helms that are there but there's also a large like
hole in the in the the wood here that you can hear the wind rustling through much as it has been
like sort of rustling in the background behind you helms how high quality do these helms and hats
look they look pretty pretty pretty good like some of them are like dented metal some of them are
again just leather there's one that appears to be like a really uh fine cap of uh dark blue uh fabric
material with a large like feather coming out of it i'll look at uh oran and bali are you thinking what
i'm thinking yeah that hat would look great on me it's definitely not typecasted you're not thinking
are you thinking what i think you're not thinking i'm thinking i'm really liking that feather that is
not what i was thinking either you have both failed what i was thinking was that we could sell these hats
for a lot of money that i guess that's also your favorite ones obviously but then we can can you
roll me a d4 turn house is the type of guy train house is the type of guy that saves his bed sheets
or ebay for one these are nice hats we live in medieval times dinner okay we live in anachronistic
you know how expensive good hats are now imagine that's true what was what was the last hat that
you put on rahua um we'll say it was the blue hat oh the the fancy blue hat yeah yeah the blue hat
okay absolutely um why do you say that i'm just curious um no reason just curious wouldn't it be funny
i mean it's not like you know
there would be some sort of awful thing that pokes its head
out of the hat after it's on top of roe's head that would be absolutely wrong and terrifying if
it were true some sort of helmet crab based monster which emerges out along with several
other ones at the same time from various helmets that are on tables they are as hard as by chocolate
we're gonna we're gonna give all the artists a shout out at the end but yes this one is particularly
great um all right so my my friends my colleagues my uh my my everyone um if i could get each of you to
put yourself in combat mode again for me and um i'm gonna have you all give me perception checks here
and uh it's gonna be opposed by my lovely npcs and their uh thurston because i am not technically in the
room may i instead you still you yeah absolutely you know what that's i just want to say ten hauser
has an incredibly good initiative but i i jesus christ 22 terribly for it yes like ten houses initiative
is like plus six and then plus wisdom oh that's good okay very good um
um all right i'm just gonna reveal all of our craps so ah craps our field so many crab crap all right
so as this happens um the one by the one on the table beside uh oran like comes to life is it pops out
of a metal helmet and its little pincer claws uh move towards you so uh interesting note uh the helmet
crab is a tiny creature so what that means is is it can enter your square and in fact to attack you
has to enter your square um the tiny crab like still with its helmet on like goes and attempts to
strike you with its claw no don't do that i'm gonna get i'm gonna get decapitated by a
fucking marmot crab yeah uh so it's gonna do i mean it's not like it is back right time for crab
it uh will do six points of damage uh then it will um then it will also i guess um
oh gosh no it's gonna use its other ability to use a clip-on
mm-hmm so it's um going to clip on to you oh no which basically is unless unless you move you'll
take damage at the end of your next turn okay it's so tiny this thing can't grapple you but this crab
is like like basically pincering you so you'd have to move away to not take damage it's basically forcing
you to to move or you'll take like crushing damage he's going to turn into a tie baldrick you're up
you did like or do you like shout or something so so baldrick get here
fucking crabs i got crabs baldrick they're fucking everywhere baldrick help me i have crabs i begin to
build an alchemical fire how far is this building away from me i mean are you in range yeah no what
i'm gonna do instead is i'm going to take two move actions okay to go here well that's not i need to
go there that's 50. okay and then i would see okay yeah absolutely bingo bingus i love it okay
bingus yeah okay uh charge requires two right uh what do you mean to charge an enemy uh no
because charging is a special action only certain things you know so i can't charge you can't charge
but you you've double moved so you still have it well no you you made a bomb right no that was a joke
okay so yeah you then you double move you still have one action if you have a bomb you can throw it
like an acid flask or something already uh no i don't because i have very limited alchemical
stuff at level one fair enough so do you want to do with your third action there is one on rahua
that you could attack if you have like oh i can attack that yeah yeah it's it's it's in an adjacent
square so okay i will target rahua okay good target that the crab on rahua i cannot target the crab
because the crab is underneath here i'll move the crab there so you can turn i have targeted the crab
good i'll move it back on
attack okay crab battle swing missed yeah so you swing and like you could tell that this this crab is
is very clearly like moving around on rahua's head as you try to strike where who was
had to knock it off but it it zips out okay and that is the end of your turn
uh yes okay oran you're up so that this little guy is like like pincering your your side actually
no it's on your wing that's what it is like oran kind of flicks the wing around and go flaka
lanka bam electric cart and then between the one on me and rahua and nice yeah they both need to make a
reflex save for me in case of the one beat 17. uh yeah so the one closest to you
uh and then the one for
oh wow
plus eight reflex because they're fast they scuttle um so i'll take half damage on the first one
yeah so four damage each uh no the second one crit succeeds no that's right that's right yeah because
it like the the one that is scuttling on rahua's head um is like moving so fast because bulgic
has agitated it it's just like moving around all over room uh that's that's you nope yeah it's
okay uh my last action is going to be a staff strike so whoop and i hit it by one and i go wunk
wait so you're staying or was electric one or two i'm i say what electric arc is one or two it's two
so yeah you're not moving okay no i'm moving so i could target him oh okay okay yeah i can't
turn when he's on me i'll go back later okay but yeah so only damage five if you hadn't have done it
would have then it would have damaged oh yeah so you bonk this thing it like you hear this squealing
like sound as it like collapses um i got one okay one of them scuttles off the wall through the door
onto tanhouser horrid beast grab it tanhouser watch out it attempts to strike you with his claw tanhouser
it hits it hits oran and tanhouser because apparently i had i'll get used to that eventually
i swear uh but it will hit you tanhouser and do five points of damage and then it too
will grab as it pincers like your ankle no stop
i love that cutoff scream yeah
uh rahua you you are up my friend i am uh can i call nature to find out more about
these absolutely you can that'll be one action to recall knowledge okay yeah
bada bing bada boom 18 hell yeah so this creature is called a helmet crab it is a type
of animal that inhabits helmets uh when it inhabits helmets though it can inhabit other things um it
like becomes like fairly defensible and like as you've noticed already it can clip on um you can
ask me with that check they're pretty low level creatures you can ask me two questions about
okay number one yep what do helmet crabs eat um they tend to uh they they tend to eat
primarily like insects like they're they're very urban so they eat like big insects but they're
fiercely territorial so they'll attack almost anything follow-up question
can they be made docile with the right treatment uh absolutely they can um there are certain skills that
you might decide to utilize to try to like calm them like nature is super effective to command an
animal because they're animals okay i like that you know i i really like the sound of that so i i know you
that was one action what's that's for who's next action my next action is to make a friend okay
i would like to use nature to try and determine if there's any insects on my person that it would be
able to pick off and thus establish a form of commensalism you're the sweetest
fucking boy i love please please give me a check he's gonna make a friendly crab crab whisperer
no it's not gonna be enough but rahua i will roll a hero that's right now he'll roll a natural one
and i'll have the crab attack him mercilessly yes better but better yeah um so with the hero point
rua you are in fact able to like like calm this thing down so like rather than like freaking about
the crab stops like grabs this insect on you kind of nuzzles against your head
and then just like goes back into its hat making the hat look like a hat on top of you
ah i think i'll call you jeremy not again
huh what
i've updated the initiative tracker um jeremy i would like to use my final action
uh i believe is let me check his command command no it's it's a one so yeah you've got one left
okay cool cool uh i would like to use my final action to
actually is shouting out to the party considered an action or is that like a free it's free free
yeah okay i'll use my final action to feed another bug to jeremy
thank god
thank god
wait for a second oh wait hold on one of my allies needs help hold on
oh hold on i can help with this oh god are you gonna try to command the the one on tannhauser now
no no no no although yes are you the crab whisperer hulky oh my god i would like to whisper
this crab as well yes absolutely for the subtle rustling of my leaves and unknown languages to
mortal beings i attempt to dissuade this crab's opinion to not harm my friend
all right give me give me another nature check oh koki oh my god we're about to win by being
awesome 21 yeah the the crab like turns to you rahua as as like and like we see it's like crab
vision and there's like the beautiful silhouette of rahua there and and somehow like the wind is
rustling by him and the crab simply like lets its pincer go and scuttles backwards slightly from
tannhauser and in a gesture that can only be like sorry bro we cool now i look down at this little
crab that dared strike me yeah and i put my finger out cautiously against my better judgment towards
him and as you do that another crab like scuttles in on you
we have the majestic moment of like your finger like going down
and then the crab just like fucking like another one comes around the corner and its claw goes please
crit please crit please it was not oh oh it did but the equipment and the other crab like uses its
pincers to deflect it defending you tan house rise up against your aggressors cast down the crabs that
lead you to death and then the other crab is like fuck this i'm gonna get out of here and then like
stops right like on baldrick square um okay that's it what are you dumbasses doing
we're surely witnessing the crabs in a bucket phenomena in real time i i am so
baffled by this i have no idea what to do here okay so we've got
two docile crabs yeah two docile here i'll let me see if i can like tint them to make to show their
their their their disposition as being docile crabs that they have been befriended yes
friend spotted friend up there
friend friend tagular
can you there's a lot of things you can do in this situation there are a lot of things i can do in
this situation i want to i want to look down at this final enemy crab uh seeing that the tides
are turning against it and we are recruiting them to our cause and i'm gonna i'm gonna approach i'm
gonna kind of squat down and be like all right buddy well i mean we could go the way of him and i
point to the one on orin or you could go eat bugs with rahua
you know what fuck it if you get a crit success i'll even give this to you normally that would be
nature but i you know what i'm a fucking gracious gm so i'll let you do this one in 20 chance
yeah we are retiring this joke now no no look i can't rip hulky's pants anymore so this is the
closest thing i can you're goddamn right he doesn't have pants he fucking played me um that's a 19 to
convince this crab to lay the crab head at you oh you you have no nature so you people are
insufferably crab all right well we gave you a chance to join the glory of revolution stab it
do unto it as all reactionaries deserve
what what the fuck it is an anti-reolutionary crab
he's just not gonna let you guys back at his home he's just not gonna let it
this is gonna start getting worrying when chan hauser gets the fucking fertilizer
he's gonna he's gonna change his door lock i don't even want to bother with panache on this
i'm just gonna attack it good you don't want to panache the crab i don't want to panache the crab
just tumble through crab tumble through the crab that's right that's six damage on the final enemy crab
oh okay um well that will uh oh that poor crab uh okay well the crab the crab dies because it has
six hand points so congratulations you fucking murderer um yeah i checked the body for its wallet with
its family tannhauser thurston i have had enough with you trying to make us feel bad for attacking
for murderers i know i know i know you murder all right i'll show you rage i know all enemy crabs uh
dealt with uh well there was one hostile crab that attempted to attack you but was wrestled by the
allied crab now it is under baldrick it appeared to be retreating don't let it go back to its cove
to spread its repressive philosophies i'm going to make a running um kick at this crab and just try
to kick it off the edge okay no give me an athletics test yeah absolutely no that's food stab it
oh my god this poor fucking crap no is it dark souls
sure can you please dark souls combat roll at it in the yeah like i tried to roll over it but instead uh
yeah like you roll into it and cause it to skid forward falling off the edge bro do a shoulder
test i i kick it like it's a sucker wait wait i need to do one thing oh my god hold up that uh
please i need to see if this image is
there's no it's not here fuck uh with my god damn it i'll fucking find it my next action i'm going
to make a rousing speech to our new revolutionary comrades
welcome to the revolution crabs tired of oppression wishing for the halcyon days where hierarchy may not
stop you from eating bugs i welcome you to our fold welcome i think the one crab goes up to you
and like is like yeah yeah yeah and then another crab like like the one on on top of rahua's head
just kind of nestles in a bit uh can all of you give me perception checks wait wait my thing my thing
okay okay okay so as as you can as you push the crab over can this just show up
about the fun everyone's just fucking vision
for context for people on the podcast who listen to this thing i basically put the invader banished
image on screen oh my god all right all right so so like as as the crab uh looks up you tanhauser
you're you're like in revolutionary mode um baldrick you're i don't know like you're just he's annoyed
and he's tired by fucking everything um can i get rahua and uh oran to also give me
perception checks yeah sure thing thank you i can try six no it's difficult for you and oran oh
shit okay or um so oran and volley both of you like take a moment to suck and that's when you smell
like like you smell smoke and fire oh shit and it like as you say oh shit you hear the distinct like
cracking of a timber orange immediately like outside we need to go like to hear and as you move oran um
you are struck
sick
does the 17 hit your ac oran yeah okay
okay so you'll take 15 points of damage from like eight chief yeah from from a piece of wood
that like just smacks the back of your head um as you're like rushing out which i believe yeah puts
you into uh not not not ghosted um yeah you are you are you are falling into into the dying position as
this hits you um and you go face first and like as that happens um there is a moment where you you
all start to see like the smoke is now coming out from underneath the building
huh um oh so in in this instance uh baldrick you you you sort of actually volley you you were the
other one who perceived what would you like to do as you've seen or sort of run what are you to do
and like tan hauser's proselytizing to crabs and who is enjoying the crab on his head baldrick's
like mad at reality in general yeah um i'm going to run out okay uh oh that's not the door that's
the door um and you say that the smoke is coming from below yes like you're starting to see like
billow up from um the like under the timbers that like you have on this structure like from the outside
so whatever the support beams might be on fire shit all right i'm gonna look at the wall you said
it's 20 feet up um yeah yeah like stone here yeah all right um has anybody got a rope i actually might
i have generic adventurers kit which i think does have open so i'll i'll would you allow me to just
say that i have absolutely yes one here i'm gonna grab the rope from tan hauser somebody get
oren back on his feet and i'm going to jump uh and try to scale this wall to get onto a place that
that is not currently burning sure is that
oh
um so you begin to climb up and as you do
like you you take the rope you throw it up and as you're you're you're setting up the like the
crackling timbers are there you've grabbed this from from tan hauser who is now just like kind of
like woken up from his reverie of crab emancipation uh and rahua and baldrick who are now seeing what
you're doing you go you you like set up the rope you climb up and then a gust of wind smashes into your
chest it sends you flying backwards onto this um onto this bridge where you land with a crack
into the wood can you give me a reflex save i would love to give you a reflex save
oh
holy
shit natural 20 you managed to get like you managed to to clutch onto the side but the rope goes like
flying down um as as you are like holding on for dear life um i will quickly roll kind of out of
initiative worker here i'm just doing some cinematic stuff uh baldrick um what would you like to do
as you see this a lot where the fire is coming from below yes baldrick can baldrick go up to the
edge and see where the smoke is coming from yeah you you'd like to to like look down and see yeah
absolutely give me a perception where the like you can basically go like over here and then look
down i'm trying to move it's a little laggy i got you all right i'll give us a quick perception yeah
uh 12. okay so you look down and see the entire thing is a bullet like some kind of fire has started
just on the bottom but as you do you can also see that the timbers on this building have also been set
on fire we don't have a whole lot of time get across
damn it and can i hey thurston i happen to notice i have two hero points yes uh baldrick
being a savant with alchemical reagents can i use my last potion thing yeah my last imbued
alchemical ingredients to make something that is not uh not for dedicated use i'd like to use a
smoke stick to try and extinguish the fire yeah absolutely um try to choke it out yeah i'll allow
you to like like spend the rest of your actions making that and then uh toss it so you'll have to
give me an attack roll to like hit a hit of strategic point but yeah i'll let you have some
okay crafting a smoke stick because uh because i don't think anything else is going to fix that quite
so good yeah uh okay i said craft there we go yep and then just give me like a bomb bomb attack roll
see if it uh kind of don't have a bomb um just doesn't count it doesn't count smoke stick as a
grenade for some reason that's that's fair you can just uh roll me like i don't know any kind of
like if you give your equip yourself a peshpine grenade and just roll that doing it yeah okay i'm
not targeting anything i don't think just roll it and we'll see what happens as you you quickly prep
up a smoke bomb and toss it um with a 15 you're gonna you're gonna lodge it in there it's it's i
attack jeremy apparently yeah you attack jeremy fucking jeremy um no no jeremy uh and you can tell
it's having some counter counter but uh the the flames are still picking quite a bit uh we'll
come to tanhouser yeah i i uh any plans tanhouser might have had to actually escape kind of fell
up with no seeing his comrades uh in such peril so he's just going to rush out and uh okay run out
and get to the edge where bali is hanging on for dear life and just reach out for her uh and just try
to grab her and bring her back up yeah i'll let you get there and basically like pull yourselves
up this year thank you kindly to get the hell out of here rachua with your your crab on your head
what are you going to do flee but also help friend okay so you're gonna move and then heal correct okay
oh no what's up i don't have heal on my character i'm gonna have to treat wounds
oh i can oh yeah you didn't take it this time or wait you didn't take your spells you you bad boy
should you have had heal today i suspect i think so it's fine it's fine it's fine okay you'll stabilize
him is what you're planning or no you know i was gonna roll nature on him for medicine oh well
yeah true okay that was a nat 20 so so yeah i'll i'll say you like come up and like your your treatments
go over and begin healing wounds and manage to restore um in this case you normally can't do this
but i'll allow it because it's cool i'll allow you with a crit success to do it in combat but only
like restore 2d8 um but which is like enough for you to get or unconscious which is good um and like
or and you look up to see rahua over you um with the with the like the crab also staring down from
beneath the fancy hat and as that happens that's when all of you hear it the snap
the systemic snap of the building as the fire has done its work and the smoke stick is lodged in there
has prevented the building from going up but the support itself is fixed and in an instant the
building turns sideways and all of you fall fall fall and we'll find out if we have a whole new party
next week all right thanks for the one shot thanks for the first session chat that was some gm fiat
bullshit right there hmm look at it go yeah
true that's right look it's the way to do it it's the way to do it
house falls everybody dies exactly thank you everyone thank you thank you good job
chat vindicates me by remembering that i believed something would go wrong and it did you did you
absolutely you are the logical anchor shit he's the logical anchor again no i hate my job i love
you john you do a great job as do all of you you guys did amazing also i'll also say the crap
yeah yay jeremy i don't want another child well you don't know look we've replaced the child with
jeremy the headcrab okay ah okay so thank you thurston so much for kicking ass today thank you very much for
game mastering an amazing session and i want to kind of go around the horn so everybody can reintroduce
themselves and where you can find them i'm going to start off with aaron do who can who are you and
where can everyone find you
me you dare find me yes i am earned and you can meet me at twitter at adder and dillio and that's
basically the only spot uh because i don't use social media all that much i've worked with alpha
abuse on a number of things i said this at the beginning but yes awesome and next up okay
yes that is me i am hulky crow you can find me at twitter at hulky crow you can also find me on
the narrative declaration community discord and zorn's uh discord for himself uh hang out there
every now and then there should be a link going out in the next like what 10 minutes you can do
exclamation point discord and he'll do both of them oh cool here we go i'll send it out to you now but
i'm gonna hop in there after this and we take care of some stuff after and i get some food that i
couldn't order in the time that i wasted everyone thought it was in the bathroom earlier
um but yeah stop on by you guys are fantastic thank you so much for coming out today
next up we have odo hello i'm odoroshi rider i was playing the uh blue bitch known as vali
uh you can find me on twitter at odoroshi rider um and yeah excellent session everybody i'm really
really excited to see you guys for next session yeah next up speaker d hi i'm speaker d and i had a
a lot of fun as well i love everyone's characters and if you want to find me and see me scream at the
void you may find me at super snake kick on twitter um in addition i occasionally have begun on and off
writing some of alpha's patreon updates so if you want to check out his thing and beyond that please
support hunter the parenting and all of our other interesting new series going up on half abusers
youtube channel
and thurston hi i'm thurston on call gm you can find me on all things at on call gm i've been uh
twitch streaming dark souls games lately so come hang out with me there i got to the good part of dark
souls 2 the dlc and i might do that tomorrow if not tuesdays and thursdays you can find me there
uh you can also find me on the twitter at the same thing and uh you can find me on the narrative
declaration patreon where i am currently creative lead for all of the the cool pdfs and products that
come out there so if you liked everything you saw in this session uh including the maps and the uh
the cool creatures we're going to be putting all that up on our uh on our patreon it's going to be
badass so if you want to see stats and other cool things along with some of the lore documents we have
talking about the setting those are all going up there so please support us it lets us support
like you know all of our peeps including our players and me and our artists who do a
kick-ass job and speaking of our artists like big thanks to uh skelebean s elliot illu guitarbeard
to tell stories dank work and chocolate for all doing amazing art that you saw today it's
some of them are members of the community some are just talented artists they're all great and
we love our artists because they do great for us it's me i love all of you thank you your support
is amazing and i have been your host zone the bear i hope you guys enjoyed your time here we will see
you guys next time uh you'll find the vod coming up uh i have to wait 24 hours because of twitch
stuff and everything else for the vod to come up and i also have to have time to edit everything so
please give me a little bit um but we shall get it up within a week hopefully so you'll see it on
my channel and on the narrative declaration youtube channel always head over the narrative
declaration.com by the way to see the countdown for the next episode along with who we are all
this other stuff etc etc so yeah if you liked what you saw here feel free to follow the channel feel
free to subscribe if you want to support me in the show and also support all the amazing uh
talent here and creators and everything to kind of make this possible it's a whole custom setting
that we are making so you can also adventure in it with us so with that we're now going to finally
say goodbye goodbye it has been one week captain's log goodbye we are going to crash the dark city
goodbye t l gray tepid we will see you next time house falls everybody to the twitter to figure out
when we're doing stuff and everything in the discord
you