Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Blindsighted isn’t just a podcast—it’s a lifeline for those walking through the darkest valleys. Hosted by Karen and Todd Hornsby, this raw and unfiltered series invites you into a story marked by unimaginable pain, loss, and suffering.
But this isn’t just about our story. It’s about YOUR story, too.
We’re not here to sugarcoat suffering or offer feel-good inspiration that fades by morning. We’re here to validate the ache, the confusion, and the questions that come when life doesn’t make sense—and when God feels far away.
The name Blindsighted is rooted in the phenomenon of “blindsight”—where people without sight are still drawn to light they cannot see. That’s what faith feels like sometimes. And in our journey, we’ve learned:
- Faith doesn’t make life easy—it makes it possible.
- Trusting God’s plan doesn’t mean understanding it.
- Victory doesn’t mean escaping suffering—it means enduring with strength, honesty, and hope.
Each episode of Blindsighted peels back the layers of our journey through our daughter’s cancer battle, a near-fatal car accident, health diagnoses, and more. We speak candidly about the moments that broke us—and the God who met us there.
If you’re walking through something that feels impossible, we want you to know: you're not alone. There’s light—even if you can’t see it yet.
Join us. Let’s find victory in the midst of suffering, together.
Before the ink on our marriage license had even dried, life started writing its own story. One filled with unexpected detours, deep heartaches, and unimaginable miracles. In today's episode of Blindsighted Todd and I open up about the early years of our marriage, the Mustang that had to go, the mobile home we made a home, the unexpected calling to serve in the National Guard, and the devastating news that we may never have children. But in true blindsided fashion, where suffering and hope collide, this story doesn't end where the doctor said it would. Today, you'll hear how faith carried us, how prayer became our lifeline, and how when everything said no, God said yes.
Speaker 1:Get ready to laugh, cry, and maybe even feel a little less alone as we invite you into one of the most pivotal and personal chapters of our journey. Today's episode is gonna be really interesting where I think we're probably gonna have some some moments of laughter and then probably some moments of tears. We'll do my best to keep it together as much as I can, but it's a huge part of the start of what our marriage was like. So as we all know, we're the last episode we left off of was where we had just gotten back from our honeymoon. That was, as you said, an episode off of the planes, trains, and automobiles.
Speaker 1:That was quite tumultuous and adventurous, all the all the things. And we really you know, babe, we didn't realize at the time, but it was going to be quite a representation of what our marriage was going to be like.
Speaker 2:It absolutely was. I have the tell the running joke we have that my life was very plain and boring before you came along. Since then, I could describe it in a lot of ways. Boring is not one.
Speaker 1:No,
Speaker 2:no. But it has been a wonderful ride ever since. Our marriage, the honeymoon itself, much funnier. We survived. Much funnier on this side since we've survived.
Speaker 2:So we get back.
Speaker 1:Yeah. With some good years,
Speaker 2:there were like, to the first two years we kind of focus on for a moment. I remember, I had a beautiful sports car, a Mustang Cobra.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, you did.
Speaker 2:And it was a wonderful car for a single guy.
Speaker 1:It was beautiful.
Speaker 2:Well, and I had it paid for. So I'm like, you know, I'd love to keep this car, but it's not practical. You know, we're just getting married. We don't have a lot of money. I'm going to sell this car.
Speaker 2:And I did. And we bought us a little single wide mobile home.
Speaker 1:Maybe that could have been the first time I saw you cry.
Speaker 2:Outside of church. So we cleared off a little piece of property with the help of family and friends.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:We got our little single wide mobile home there. Come on. We were so proud of that little home.
Speaker 1:Probably
Speaker 2:more proud of that than, than, than any house we've had since.
Speaker 1:I'm sure we were.
Speaker 2:Honestly, because we were adulting now.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:We were playing house. Because that's what, that's what you feel like when you, when you first get married and have your own little place, like we've got it figured out.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Play in house. That was funny.
Speaker 2:Right. You know, cause we're paying bills now and we're, we're being adults and it is almost a little bit liberating. And I remember we even had a couple of beagle puppies that we got.
Speaker 1:So Right. We did.
Speaker 2:I don't
Speaker 1:remember their names, though, but I do remember that. That's okay. That was fun. So we were starting our American dream. Yeah, we were.
Speaker 1:We were very excited. Had our home still went to my little church that God radically saved you in. That was so great. So, we were starting off pretty well even though, you know, the honeymoon was kind of a roller coaster ride and kinda find out that would be a a true representation of what our marriage would be. And that as as I said, like, literally before the ink had dried on our marriage license, things were already, like, fighting us and testing us and pushing us to the edge.
Speaker 2:They were. They were.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. Right? I mean, even now, twenty six years later, it's really fascinating to think about that. I mean, we were a little naive. We didn't know what the future held.
Speaker 1:Right?
Speaker 2:You were more naive than me, but that's beside the point.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 2:No, we didn't. And like you said, we still go into the same little church, which was amazing. And the pastor at the church, who's a guy that I really, really looked up to. And that should be the case. If you don't look up to your pastor, then there's something wrong with you or you're at the wrong church.
Speaker 2:One of the two. So I had this great idea having listened to him because he was in the National Guard. There was a guy at my work that was in the National Guard and they were like, Oh man, it's great. You should join. You know, it's one weekend a month.
Speaker 2:It's two weeks in the summer. If there's a hurricane, you know, we have hurricane duty. We help people. I'm like, wow, this is all cool. I'd kind of like to do this.
Speaker 2:And it works out great with my job working for the state because the National Guard most of the time is a state entity. I'm like, Karen, could I please join the National Guard? Are we sure it was like that? It it was it was close to that, I think.
Speaker 1:And what was my response?
Speaker 2:I don't think you should do that.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:So after some debate back and forth, you acquiesced. A big word for the podcast.
Speaker 1:Done, babe. Thank you. Can't stop Now you're showing everybody that you are a walking Webster dictionary.
Speaker 2:Alright. So you reluctantly agreed to allow me to do this. And I did. So I joined the National Guard, went to basic training in Fort Benning, Georgia.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about what year this was.
Speaker 2:Okay. Yeah, sure. We're kind
Speaker 1:of,
Speaker 2:we should kind of give some, some timeline.
Speaker 1:A little bit of timeline.
Speaker 2:So we got married the end of nineteen ninety nine. Oh, and we didn't even talk about the whole Y two k thing thinking that, you know, the world's going to come to an end. Oh, got to go ahead and get married. And you know what? This is so funny.
Speaker 2:I actually, that was one of my things. Was, Karen, we can't wait to get married. The Y2K thing. We may not be able to get married after that. We were thinking that I don't know what we were thinking, but All
Speaker 1:the computers were going to crash. We needed all the cash that we could get in.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It was.
Speaker 1:Can barely remember all that. That's interesting. Totally forgot about it, but that was a big deal.
Speaker 2:It was. And I put us, I sent us down a rabbit hole, sorry to our listeners. So anyway, we got married at the end of nineteen ninety nine. This was the February that I actually officially joined the National Guard and went off the training. And it was hard being away from you, But we loved each other.
Speaker 2:And it was amazing when I got to come back home, because it was like for four months, four or five months. So I get back home from National Guard training, which is the same kind of training as a regular army. It's just regular army training. There's no difference. Get back and we get back into our little life.
Speaker 2:Working, you're working. And this is in September 2001. And it actually happened to be 09/11/2001 in particular that we're both at work.
Speaker 1:Yep. Two months after you had gotten back from basic training. Yep. Which was obviously quite a scary thing. And I mean, I think we should share how this unit that you had joined, we were it never crossed our minds.
Speaker 1:We should say this, that you would ever be called off for anything, called up for anything other than just help within the The States.
Speaker 2:That's exactly right.
Speaker 1:Because it had not have been called up for like fifty years. Right?
Speaker 2:It had not been and we didn't have a crystal ball. Of course, no one knew that September 11 was going to happen.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:So prior to that, that a terror attack was the last thing on our minds as Americans. Yeah. But you're right. That unit, even though the unit I joined was an infantry unit, a combat arms unit, as they say, it hadn't been called up since World War II. And that was one of the selling points I told you all the baby bitches could be one week in a month, two weeks in the summer.
Speaker 2:And when September 11 happened, a lot of rumors started coming down, you know, what is going to be our role in this? Initially, we were told, well, a lot of these active duty units, they're going overseas, something's going to happen, there's going to be a response to this. So we'll probably go to their bases and kind of augment and take care of what they are not able to do. Almost like a peacekeeping mission in The US. We'll get stationed somewhere in The US and we'll just provide security to the homeland while, you know, the regular army and the other units are going overseas to do whatever they're going to do.
Speaker 2:So that's kind of what I was expecting.
Speaker 1:And previous to this, another reason why when this event happened, we were going in the middle of we were in the middle of doctor appointments.
Speaker 2:We were. We
Speaker 1:Yeah. We both were we hadn't made a decision at this point that we wanted to try to have a child and start a family.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Those those beagles, they weren't all they were cracked up to be. We needed more than the beagles.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love dogs, but, we we we wanted something else.
Speaker 1:We wanted we wanted another little addition to our family. So we had started trying to have a family and we're told and we were having some complications. So we both, you know, went to our respective doctors and both of us were told, you're not having children. Literally, both of us from both of our doctors were like, this is impossible. You you can't have a child.
Speaker 1:So together, we're both being told you're the only way that you're gonna have a child is adoption. That's your only option. Like, none of these in vitro, none of these other options that are available now for sure were available to us. They weren't options for us. We we were devastated, of course.
Speaker 1:That was another huge, like, another blow to us that, again, something we were not expecting. We, you know, hello. We had everything was going great. And life is we're we're starting off our adulting life pretty well, pretty fun. Then the next thing you know, when we're wanting to start another new chapter in our life, we're told that's not gonna happen for you or at least not the way that you had dreamed of it happening for you.
Speaker 2:That's very true. I remember that was hard news. For me, but especially for you. And I know we were like, wow. And I remember that you would pray and you would tell me you were praying, you know, God, if this is not meant to be for us to have a child naturally, then take this desire out of my heart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly what I would pray. I was we both were we both were pretty wiped out by that by the news. You know, it's besides the wedding day and finding your knight in shining armor is the next thing is or it was for me, at least. I I don't know that I can speak for every young lady listening, but it was to Nick. The next big thing for me was to carry our child, to feel the baby, to to hear the heartbeat, to know this human being was growing inside of you and your blood was running through their veins and just a huge part of you and and who you are.
Speaker 2:And and I know I know one of the pastors at the church had a had a funny little remark for if if we did have a child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if we had a little boy, it was going to be a little toddy running around picking up pews.
Speaker 2:There you go. So yeah, we were we we were bummed.
Speaker 1:We were
Speaker 2:I was trying to be strong for you because I know I know it was difficult. It was killing me too. And But there again, we had a very strong faith and relationship with God. One of the first tests for us, as you've said, Lord, this isn't what we want. But we trust you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Hannah actually in the Bible become my hero.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I remember that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Hannah was my hero. She was a mother of Samuel. Those of you who, know that story and it was she was. She was my hero and I just began to be and model myself after the way she just committed to prayer to Jesus and for her child.
Speaker 1:And that was exactly what I modeled myself after and I did. And I said, but Lord, I know your ways are not my ways. So if it isn't your will for me to be able to carry a child, I need this desire to go away and for you to put in my heart the desire to adopt a child. And so so anyway, so that that was actually the emotional roller coaster you and I were on in the early year of 2001 where we're trying to grapple with the idea that our family was gonna look a little different than we had imagined it. So then you go off the basic training.
Speaker 1:Two months after you're back. Now nine eleven happens. So that was that was rough. That was really rough.
Speaker 2:It was. And there again from nine eleven until things started changing for me with the military, it was a while.
Speaker 1:It was a little while.
Speaker 2:It was it was actually, honestly, over a year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was it was really interesting. So here's the other timeline. I hope we're making sense of this timeline. So nine eleven happens And then we're as you're saying, there's a lot of rumors happening. What's going to happen?
Speaker 1:Are you going? Are you not going? As you just said earlier, are you staying stateside? Are you not staying stateside? What does that look like?
Speaker 1:You and I then start, you know, Lord, what is this gonna look like for a family for us? Do we pursue adoption? Do we just say, maybe, Lord, it's just meant for me and him to be together? You know, what were your feelings? What were your thoughts during that time as well for that that year?
Speaker 1:We're now going into the early two thousand and two. Right?
Speaker 2:We are. Just not knowing. Yeah. Just not knowing. Just honestly having to trust in God, whether it be us trying to have a family, whether it be what's going to happen with a National Guard.
Speaker 2:So just not knowing. There again, God's time, not our time. So you just have to hold on. That was not a severe storm of life that we experienced later. But it was a constant thing where you didn't know what to expect.
Speaker 2:There again, in those moments, you just have to rely on God. Those were good. It was good for at least building our faith. I didn't like it I like to figure things out. We both do.
Speaker 2:Most people do. We were almost in a holding pattern. I'm not saying we weren't doing anything. We were. We were holding on to God.
Speaker 2:During that time, we prayed continually and God answered a prayer.
Speaker 1:God answered a prayer, didn't He?
Speaker 2:So I came home one afternoon after work, just a normal, normal time. And I walk in the back door of our beautiful single wide mobile home. And when you walk in, you're in the quote unquote laundry where the washer and dryer are, which is right there. Yeah. So I love it.
Speaker 2:I look on the washing machine. I'm like, what is this? What's on the washing machine? And then, and maybe now I do not know. There was this card that you had made and they Yes.
Speaker 2:And there was like all this equipment that you would use to make these kind of cards
Speaker 1:like Scrapbooking days.
Speaker 2:Scrapbooking. So there was hammers
Speaker 1:and rib Yes. It was fun.
Speaker 2:It was. It's great. It was amazing. It was a beautiful card that basically said, I don't know exactly what it said, but it said, congratulations, we're having a baby. You know, I think at the pregnancy test there.
Speaker 1:I did.
Speaker 2:And we've been told so long that we weren't going to have kids. And we told people, yeah, we don't know. So when I seen that, as you say, with me, I have to process things.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Y'all that is something about my sweet husband. I have had to learn to not judge the first response to give him some time to process.
Speaker 2:I'm glad we're recording this. I may play this back sometime. So you had this beautiful presentation for me in this artsy form that I expect no less from you. It was it was really beautiful. But I was like, Karen, because neither one of us wanted to have these expectations and build it up.
Speaker 1:False hope. Yeah.
Speaker 2:False hope. If it wasn't going to happen, we didn't want that. We were trying to guard our hearts a little bit. Like, are you sure? You know, I mean, because the doctors told us we couldn't and you know, and you want to believe and you praying that God answer this.
Speaker 2:So it took me a few seconds, a minute or so to get excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. I was I was like, you just couldn't believe it. And I kind of expected something similar to that from you as a response that it was gonna take you a minute to really believe that. Because you're right.
Speaker 1:It was it was a shock to the system with how adamantly we were told we were not gonna have children. So it was truly a miracle that had happened. We both knew this was a God thing, not a Karen and Todd thing because it was truly God saying, I honor your prayer and I I I want and it was for His will for us to have a child despite what the doctors may have said. So here we are. We're we're like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Yes. So this is was fascinating. I was so thankful. My heart was so full of joy that God saw fit to allow us to have this child. So we go through the process of, you know, doing the the reveal to the family because the whole family obviously knew our news as well.
Speaker 1:They knew that this was not in in the deck of cards for us. So did I say that right? It wasn't it wasn't an option for us. So we were really excited to share with the family another miracle.
Speaker 2:Yeah. We were being sneaky.
Speaker 1:We were being a little sneaky about it even though, I mean, things are so different nowadays with the way that people make announcements. But we had done a few things. It was around my birthday time. So we had some family that we told to kind of help us surprise the entire family about it. So it really was a big deal for us to be able to announce that God saw fit for us to have a child.
Speaker 2:It was absolutely undeniably a miracle.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:We haven't had kids since. I mean, you shouldn't have able to had Gabby. So it was absolutely a miracle. There's no way to debate that.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:And as you said, it was around your birthday. So this was just to get along and get back on the timeline. Yeah. This was February. Correct.
Speaker 1:So the year after 09/11.
Speaker 2:It was because it took a while, you know, what are we going to do? What is this? How's this country going to respond? Yep. And that was February.
Speaker 2:And we're super excited. Everything's amazing. Wow, God's working all this out. Yep. Within two months later, February, as we know, the day after Christmas, I get a phone call, I answer it.
Speaker 2:And it's my platoon sergeant for the, in the National Guard. He says, Hey Hornsby, we're getting activated. You need to, have all your gear with you, bring everything and be at the armory in two days. And like, hold on now. Let me, this is this this a, I don't know if there's such a thing as a Christmas time joke, but what say that one more time.
Speaker 2:And he told me again, just point of fact, he's like, Hornsby, I know it's a lot. He's like, well, I can't answer any questions. I don't know any more than you do. Just have all your stuff and show up in two days.
Speaker 1:When the world said it was impossible, God whispered, Watch me. And in the quiet defiance of human odds, He gave us a miracle, our daughter, living proof that His timing is not only perfect, but purposeful. As we look back on those early years, filled with youthful dreams, heartbreaking disappointments, and stunning divine surprises, we see now what we couldn't see then, that the waiting wasn't a punishment, it was preparation. The heartache wasn't a dead end, it was a doorway. And sometimes the hardest seasons are heaven's stages for the most extraordinary breakthroughs.
Speaker 1:If today's episode moved you, share it with someone who may feel stuck in the middle of their own, not yet. Remind them and yourself that the story isn't over. And if you haven't already, please like, subscribe, leave a review, and follow us on social media. Also visit blindsightedpodcast.com to walk deeper into our story and discover what's still to come. Thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 1:And remember, even when the light feels far away, you are not forgotten, not forsaken, and never walking alone.