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The smart way to create a compassionate and professional lactation private practice, hosted by private practice IBCLCs Annie Frisbie and Leah Jolly.
Leah Jolly is a private practice IBCLC with Bay Area Breastfeeding in Houston, Texas.
Annie Frisbie is a private practice IBCLC serving Queens and Brooklyn in New York City and the creator of the Lactation Consultant Private Practice Toolkit.
Tune in each week to learn all the ins and outs of running a successful private practice lactation business!
Connect with Leah and Annie:
On Instagram: @lactationbusinesscoaching
On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lactationbusinesscoaching
On YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLv3-4pMgjlzbXD9KWFCIV3-1LipsTbgsj
Annie: This podcast is brought to you by the IBCLC Private Practice essential toolkit. Use code PODCAST for 10% off at paperlessibclc.com/toolkit. Hello again, Leah.
Leah: Hey Annie, how are you doing?
Annie: I'm good. I'm always good. How could I not be good? I'm talking to you. Why would I not be good?
Leah: My favorite time of the week that we get to spend some time together, talking shop. I love this and today I'm super excited because I am sure every working mom has moments, or maybe just every working person in the whole entire world, of how do I balance all this? How do I not feel like I'm not in balance with my family and my work and my passion, hobbies and my self-care? Oh my gosh, the list goes on.
Annie: Are you trying to kill me with this, because...?
Leah: No stress, no stress. Oh man, but I'm so excited to talk about this because I feel like when we get to share just what we figured out in our own lives, we can really pick up nuances of, Oh, I might try that in mine so I can't wait to hear more about how we can really structure our time and get that work-life-family balance thing in action, which may just be the magical unicorn that we all believe is out there but doesn't really exist.
Annie: I love unicorns. I have loved unicorns since I was like nine, so let's look for the unicorn. Before we do that, what is your marketing moment for this week?
Leah: Yes. So I think one thing that brings a lot of stress when you're a small business owner is you've got so many facets of your business that could get you overwhelmed really quickly. And when we're talking about marketing, that might mean oh my gosh, I have to come up with something constantly new, and my marketing plan always has to be changing and different for it to be effective. But the truth is doing the same things or resharing a post again. If it was effective the first time, likelihood is you've got a whole new crop of people out there if it's been a year later. Share that post again. If you're low on time and you remember that you got wonderful feedback from the blog post about newborn sleep, then by all means, share that again because in our field people don't stick with us for 20 years. We get them, probably a couple of months at best, and so you've got a whole new crowd following you. you've got just a new crop to then share same information with, so to save you some time, don't be afraid to reshare some of your popular posts or things that you think are super valuable for your community that might be following you on social media. And I think it goes the same to for if you send cookies to doctors' offices every Christmas, you don't have to then send something different every year. It’s okay to do the same thing. Don't try to reinvent every single year new marketing strategies unless you have the time to look into that, but when you don't, same good standard old stuff usually gets the job done and well.
Annie: That's great. That's great.
Leah: Okay, see, I already brought the stress level down. We’re not going to freak out as bad now, because we have one thing to take off our gigantic to-do list.
Annie: Oh, man! You have to-do lists. So what we're going to do this episode is we're going to just give you a peek inside what our life is like, and you can see where we are doing things the way we want to do them, and also where we're falling short and areas where we both have places where we feel like we could be doing better for ourselves or for our families or our clients or whatever. Leah and I both have our private practice, and we have kids, and so that adds a complicating factor just because of logistics, but I know that those of you who don't have kids, or maybe your kids are older and have moved on, you can always find things that are going to make your life complicated. We're going to be talking about how our kids affect things, but I know that your life without kids is busy too.
Leah: Yeah, because you still have family. You still have self-care that needs to happen for us to be good IBCLCs. You have friends and you need to keep those friendships because they're so powerful for your life satisfaction. So, yeah, when we talk about kids, you can also say other things in your life that keep you busy.
Annie: Yeah, exactly.
Leah: And by all means, Annie, those out there, if you have any pointers when you're listening to my day, share them because I am always wanting to grow and learn, and I know that there's never going to be perfection. So that's definitely not what I'm striving for, but I know growth expansion is always present so I'm open to suggestions.
Annie: Same here. What does your week look like? What do you do all day?
Leah: Kick back and eat bonbons. Just kidding, I wish. So my weeks are pretty busy. I do work in my private practice full time, so my practice is definitely a full time practice and it's pretty hectic at times because I have a lot of facets to the practice. So it's not just home visits or just office visits. We contract into a pediatric office, so two days a week, I am in a pediatric office from 8 a.m., and usually I try to leave the paedi office if they don't have any squeeze-in cases by 2:30, 3 because I really try to get home to help with homework and dinner, and just navigation of four children after school which can sometimes be controlled chaos. Then the three other days during the week, I'm doing a multitude of other things. So either home visits, and when I do home visits, I usually do three a day is kind of my happy place. We also do office visits. So my days that I'm working with private clients, I'm not in the pediatric clinic clients. I might also be doing some office, some home. So there's a mix in there.
Annie: So you might do both in the same day? You might do a home visit and then see somebody in the office?
Leah: Yes. And the nice thing is the office is close to my home, so it can actually work out convenient. I might go into Houston and see a client in the morning and then come back close to home and do two office visits. I have an amazing assistant who really thinks through. she's a wonderful planner, and she really thinks through logistically what would get Leah home the soonest every single day, and it's so, so nice because I know whatever's on there is the best laid out plan and we do have online booking so if somebody books and it's just doesn't make sense for me to go to Houston and then come back to the office and then go back to Houston, she'll just call and rearrange them, and that usually isn't a big deal for most because they're still getting the same day appointment. We just try to rearrange it
Annie: You are just changing the time.
Leah: Yeah, just make it a bit more logistically smart.
Annie: How do you decide who gets a home visit and who gets an office visit?
Leah: It is per their request. So it's up to them if they want home or office. We do a lower fee for the office visits, so some people, that is what brings them in. But I would say the majority of my clientele is home visits because I don't know. I think that's just what the comfort level is for most people is to have somebody come to their home here. For us, and I don't limit it like I'm only going to do office visits on a day so I have that flexibility to get to them.
Annie: And so when do you get admin work done? Charting and things like that?
Leah: Yes. That's a wonderful question. I do block off my Wednesdays in the morning. This is a time for me to either do business meetings, so I might be meeting with my social media person. I might be meeting with my assistant. I might be making networking contacts, and then I also have time that I might be sitting and working on something at home that's business-related. Now, to get my charting stuff done, I'm usually doing that part in the visit and then part when I'm home, and this is probably ... don't do as I do, but I have older kids, so I think it makes it a little bit easier because they might be working on homework or having some reading time. So we're all together and we actually all sit oftentimes around the dining room table and they have their stuff out they are doing, and then I have my notes out and then I can be present with them if they need help with anything, although they're getting so big. I don't understand anything they do, like the stuff they need help with, I'm like Khan Academy, tell me how to teach that, but I feel so useless now, but I'm like, I'm here for you, honey, and let's call your big brother and ask him how to do that. I don't know. But I'm here. I'm here. I'm present.
So I usually spend probably 30 minutes to an hour sometime in the afternoon when I get home. Just kind of finishing up any loose ends with my charting, and then I also have another block of time. So three days a week, I wake up at 4:30 in the morning, and workout from 5 to 6, but my body in my old age is like oh, you want to wake up at 4:30? Well, why don't we wake up at 4:30 every single day of your life? Now my body is so programmed just because I do it three days a week, even on the weekends I don't sleep in. it's so crazy. So on the other days, I also have office quiet time. everybody else in the house is asleep between 5 and 6 so my coffee and I might finish up any loose ends, answer emails, so I have some designated time although the evening ones that I'm doing email responses or finishing up any charting or reports, that kind of thing. It is really hit or miss so that's an area where I'd love to be more structured, but then I also love that I have the flexibility to put it where it fits in and still you know if my kids have some events going on that night, that I can really be there, or if they need more help with homework, I set that aside and then I come back to it when the time is right or I have these other kind of designated blocks of time that help if I did get behind. If Monday night didn't work out, then I know I have Tuesday morning to finish up or Wednesday in my blocked time to finish up. So that's kind of in an ideal world and I'll tell you, it's never perfect and I'm not working for perfection.
Annie: How often do find yourself doing things for work on the weekend? Or how often do you find yourself saying to your kids or your husband, not now. I have to finish this up?
Leah: I would say that has definitely gotten tremendously better in the last probably two years, I think because I've just learned what my boundaries need to be. You can refer back to compassion fatigue episode, where, over time you realize like, Oh my gosh, I can't go full throttle forever. So I need to make sure that I'm having good boundaries. So the weekend usually is never for charting or that kind of stuff. usually on the weekends, if all the kids are hanging out with their friends and I'm just home, then I have some ongoing projects that I might be working on that I am enjoying doing and want to spend the time doing. I really try my best to not pull client care in over the weekends. I might answer an email if it's something really pressing or something like that for sure. But as far as finishing up charting reports, typically not on my weekend time. So kind of gotten that hack down, I guess but again, not perfect and certainly do weekends at time. And with the kids being older and they can wait an extra 15 minutes, sometimes I'll be like, Hey, give me 15 minutes and I'm going to come in and talk to you about that if I'm just trying to wrap something up and I know okay, you're not three and you can wait a minute. Certainly when they were younger, it was a lot harder because I couldn't say hang on just a minute. If they're like, Mommy, I need help in the potty. It's not like honey, you're going to have to wait. Mom has to finish a chart, so it was so much harder back then. So I really just give humongous hugs out to all those IBCLCs out there that are managing smaller children and work, any working mom really whether you're an IBCLC or not, I think it's just a really, really hard balance to do.
Annie: Yeah, because we are still in a place of where as much as we can have supportive partners if we have partners and I mean, especially those of you that have kids and doing this on your own, just all the love, because you need it.
Leah: Love, so much love
Annie: And I know your life is hard, and there are certain things that we talk about that are possible for Leah and I, because there's another parent in our home and that is like, I don't even want to say I don't know how I could do it without him, because if I had to, I would, and I would figure it out. And so I'm just going to just be grateful because I have something and that helps me. But as women, we just end up doing more of the emotional labor and that really hasn't changed. We can have these enlightened spouses, but there are things where it's just we take care of things and that is what I have to say what really weighs me down. When I think about what is going on with my life, the places where I want to throw my hands up in the air and cry. Just all the extra things that I have to do - the forms that I have to fill out for school, things like that, remembering when the doctor's appointments are
Leah: Yes, you have a concert for band and you need to have these particular clothes and making sure they still fit you and just those little background kind of naggy little ongoing things that you know you are solely responsible for remembering
Annie: When they tell me their shoes are too tight, and I'm like when you were a toddler, I would just order something on Amazon. It didn't matter but now...
Leah: Now we have to go get you measured
Annie: We have to go somewhere. When am I going to do that? It's really hard.
Leah: Yes, it's a lot, and I think having a partner in the home that is supportive of your business, it does take down the level of stress tremendously. I definitely feel like you. I'm very blessed that I have a partner that helps with meal prep, helps with homework and works from home a lot of the time and so can help with school pickups, or after school activities and things. So I feel immensely ... but it wasn't always like that. That wasn't until ...well, the whole working from home aspect wasn't until this year and it definitely made such a huge difference. I didn't realize how brain taxing it was to coordinate for people who needs to be picked up, who has an after school activity. All of that was super intense. So this year has been a little bit different for us and kind of learning new ways to help each other out more and being really open with Okay, this is what I need help with, and I think that's something that as moms, we tend to think, well, this is our job, and we want to be all in of course. And so it's hard sometimes to say, hey, this is an area that I'm really struggling with, and I want to see if we could brainstorm how we could help in this area, with your partner or whoever is the supportive person to you with your family. I think that's a super valuable conversation to have, even if it's sometimes hard or doesn't seem like the cultural norm. It's super valuable.
Annie: I mean, it's, it was hard for us because, you know, when our older daughter was born, I was in a place where I was ending one career and wasn't sure what I was going to do, so he was making all the money. That's really what was happening and I was home with my daughter and she was a baby and I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do and that is how I got into lactation work. But that set the tone for me to be the default parent, and that's what I did for years and years and years, and then work, I was able to add that back in, and I passed the IBCLC exam when my younger daughter was one. That was when I took the exam and so that's when I really started incorporating more work in that I was doing, where I was actually leaving the house and I had been doing some writing stuff at home and I was contributing. But that has been the thing that has shocked us the most is that as I've grown my private practice to be a job and a career, all those other things that I can't keep on top of anymore that we are constantly shocked. I was holding on to so much just by default and it's hard to share that and then I feel like I micromanaging because I had the way that I did things, which probably wasn't even the best way to do things.
Leah: It's just what you know.
Annie: So we definitely have had conflict over that and things have fallen through the cracks. And then I blamed myself because I was supposed to take care of it. Before I blamed my husband because he didn't pick it up the way I needed him to or whatever, but blame has no place in this. It doesn't. I really try to not schedule blame of myself or my husband or someone else into my day. It slows me down. It's inefficient. It's unproductive; doesn't help anyone.
Leah: It doesn’t uplift your energy at all. It's going to weigh you down more. Most of the time, I would say all of us are doing the best we can in that moment and it's never, ever going to be perfect, and acceptance of that is brutally painful and so liberating too be honest. It is what it is and trying to recognize Okay, I did not do that as well as I feel like I could, and so maybe think through strategies for next time and then move forward. I mean, you want to learn your lessons.
Annie: Learn your lessons
Leah: But then don't sit in the aspects of how negative it all can feel. So I told you a little bit about my crazy weeks, but tell us kind of how you structure yours because how you do things is so different because you have a different setup with your family and everything. So tell me about that.
Annie: Yeah, so we are in a really strange situation because we have chosen to homeschool our children. So one is in Middle School and one in Elementary school. We’ve homeschooled from the very beginning so they've never gone to school, and I will say this. Here in New York City, the thought of trying to find a school now for my kids, and how much work that is, because we have all the options, that's enough to keep me homeschooling, I actually really don't have time to research. It's so much more so work. So they've always been home, so part of the decisions I try to make have to do with I really need to be present with them when I'm with them because I'm their teacher. And as I've gotten more busy with work, my husband has stepped in to do more of the school stuff. So there are things that now he does that he didn't do before. But my other complicating factor is that my husband works in film and television production so he has a random schedule, so he will either be home working in his office, trying to do his business, but also he's available to come out and he likes to do things like he'll take them out to the park for an hour when he's home, or he'll make lunch or do a lot of that stuff when he's on his work from home days. But when he's working, he could be leaving at five o'clock in the morning and not be home till 10 p.m. and there's nothing that he could do about that.
Leah: Wow, that is super challenging.
Annie: And that has been what has kept me in that default parent role because I can't count on him for school pickups. We can't schedule our class pickups - I just said school, because they do some classes. I wouldn’t call that school but whatever. But he's not always there for that kind of thing so I have to be super, super-structured in my day in order to see clients.
So on Mondays is a school day. It's our first day of the week. I've learned from hard experience not to have clients on Mondays because after the weekend, where we do a lot of family stuff and a lot of activities and sports and running around and seeing friends, my kids need to just have more space in the day to relax and they need some quiet time before I do school. So it can't be a day where I'm like, alright, get up, get your math done, get your spelling done. We've got to go. We're going to a class. So Monday is an at home day, I will see clients on Mondays at the end of the day. When my husband is around, I will squeeze people in. So if he is at home that day and he often is, a lot of shoots don't happen on Mondays. It's a very low, low likelihood of shooting day. So that's a great day for him to take over around three. I might go out and see one or two clients. He’ll make dinner but those are all people I'm squeezing in at the last minute. Yeah,
Leah: I was just about to say, are those just last minute things?
Annie: Those are just last minute, because I don't know. I might not know until Sunday. And so then Tuesday my kids go to an all-day program in Brooklyn, and so I can see three clients in that day. Often, I don't eat lunch. I try to pack stuff to have in my car on the run and just plan to be driving all day. That's worked out really well. They enjoy it. It's a great program. It's for homeschoolers. It's very supportive and nurturing. They get a lot out of it. They love it. I can work. I don't have to think about it. I pick them up, come home, I'm done. I end up having to do some charting after they go to bed or I'll try to have my iPad on the counter while I'm making dinner and type stuff while that's happening. Wednesdays I have a babysitter that takes them for a couple of hours to a class so I can do two clients on Wednesdays so that's my Queens day. I stay closer to home, and actually because I can stay closer to home sometimes I can even fit three in if my husband's around to take over when the babysitter is done.
Leah: When the babysitter is done, yeah.
Annie: She's more like a tutor. She's more like Mary Poppins. One of my favorite humans on the planet. She takes really good care of my kids. She takes them to a class. She does a lot of homeschool stuff with them. That's a morning where we wake up. We have to get school done. She's going to be here at 12. We have to go; mommy's got clients. I feel really frantic on those mornings, not so great.
So Thursdays is another day like Monday where that's another at-home day. We can do school, we can relax, we could theoretically do a project or go somewhere. It's also a day where if my husband's around we can do like Monday. I could squeeze somebody in at the end of the day, but that is not a day where I plan to do anything. And then Friday is homeschool day. We have a homeschool co-op all day. I used to try to work on those days. I said I'll work after homeschool co-op or I'll have a babysitter pick them up at homeschool co-op. I'll leave co-op early, and I just found that just did not work for me. It was really killing me, and I really value the community I have in our homeschool group. So I don't work those days and we're going to go home from co-op. Maybe that's a good day to get a haircut or have a doctor's appointment and then they often have sports practices and other things going on on Friday night. So that's a little bit of self-care.
But the nice thing about homeschool co-op is that there's a lot of time during the day where I'm not involved with classes. So those are my marketing days. That's when I write blog posts. It's when I write things for my mailing list. It’s when I catch up on social media because I don't need to totally hone in and focus on it. I can kind of do it here and there. I can chat with people at homeschool co-op while I do it. So that's my marketing day. And then when I'm writing, I get up really early in the morning. I get up at six anyway every morning like you. My body is like you - just get up early.
Leah: I know, it's so mean.
Annie: That's when I catch up on emails before the kids wake up around eight on our home school day, so I have that hour and a half, two hours depending on when I actually get up, I'm ready to start going. But when I'm writing, everything falls by the wayside and I will fill every moment that I have where I'm not with my kids or working, with writing. So I'll write on the weekend, I'll write all day just to get it done. That's when I'm writing a book or doing a big project...
Leah: Which you just got done with and I'm so excited about.
Annie: I know it's a lot. it gets very tiring and I think I have a tendency to try to just squeeze more and more in and I try not to so most weeks I'm seeing about five clients a week is my max, okay, still to be able to homeschool my kids which is a job.
Leah: Amazing!
Annie: It takes some time.
Leah: That is a huge feat. To get that all accomplished and do full time schooling of your children is amazing. And you keep it together.
Annie: I don't know if I knew what I know about what business is like or what being in private practice and also running this other business that I have, I don't if the person I am now would have been so cavalier about choosing homeschooling. I was just like, I just want to homeschool. I want to have my kids home. I want to be the one that teaches them to read and be with them, and I have loved it but I would say as they have gotten older, and I have gotten busier, it's stressful and sometimes I just question whether it's the right thing for any of us and then we do have a lot of frequent heart to hearts between me and my husband about is this the right thing, and where we have to kind of reevaluate when things get stressful like what are our options, because it does add a level. Because of where I am in New York City, I could work a lot more. I could see a lot more clients if my kids were in school.
Leah: Yes. You said that that you stay consistently really busy and referring out because you don't have any places all the time so I could definitely see where. Also it would be so tempting to when you have a pocket to squeeze one more in, and I'm really bad about that, too.
Annie: I'm so bad about that.
Leah: I'll have like, oh, well, I really wanted to get home at this time, but I could do that, and then the mom's crying and you're like, okay, I'm going to do it because, but it is awesome that you have been able to find a way because I feel like one of the things I hear from you is that you do have some really firm boundaries about some set days. You might have some flexible boundaries on other days, but you have really firm boundaries about certain times and I think that's one thing that can be very powerful. I don't ever do evening visits; I just don't.
Annie: Yeah, I don't.
Leah: Yeah, I don't do anything really past 4 or 5. I try to get home before 4 or 5. That's the latest. most of the time it's earlier than that, because we eat together every night so I want to be able to make dinner or help the kids make dinner, whatever the situation is that day. And I feel like for my brain, I need ... I love somebody put it like this, they called it white space, just like fun designated time. I might throw in charting, or I might throw in reading a book with my kids or I might jump in the car and let's all go do whatever. But it's just blank space that I have freedom to do because I think sometimes our nature is, we're running a business and we want to be very structured and scheduled and so we have everything down to the five minute increment scheduled out, and it doesn't leave room for the things that come up in life that you just can't predict for or maybe you're just having a really crappy day and that white space would for that particular day provide you just some breathing space. I mean, you might just literally go sit or do some kind of self-care. So I have tried to have that kind of be how my evenings are a bit of white space for me. I do still have this set time that I'm going to try to get my charting done and that's usually before dinner, so I'm trying. I cannot do things at night. It's so weird.
Annie: I can't either
Leah: I will fall asleep.
Annie: In my house, the opposite will happen. If I try to do things after my kids go to bed, I won't go to sleep. My brain will wake up and then I'll be up late.
Leah: Oh my gosh, I have been known to like try to do charting after the kids go to bed. My kids go to bed at 8:30 because they're big now so everybody goes to bed at 8:30. So you think gosh Leah that's not that late, but when you wake up at 4:30 that isn't so late, and so I'll try to go down and chart and then my husband will be tapping me on the shoulder, like you're asleep at the desk. Did you want to...?
Annie: Go to bed?
Leah: I'm like, okay, I need to give up on any charting happening after 6 p.m. because dinner happens and then it always just seems like different things, but also I have this kind of free space in there. it just feels nice to know that I have whatever I need will be available to me and I really encourage other private practice to yes, schedule your day, yes, have your structure but don't forget about the power of just a little bit of white space in your life
Annie: Absolutely, and we tried to do that in our house as being two business owners. My husband deals with the some of the same things I do, which is just there's always something else that could be done for your business, and the margins can feel really thin, and we have tried to - not always successfully - and it's something we're really working on is that at the end of the day, eating dinner together. We do try to do that when we're all home, and then after dinner we used to do this thing, which we have actually changed as the kids have gotten older. That used to be after dinner, they would get TV time. They would each watch one show about 40 minutes. And then I would do a little bit of quick work, and then I would put them to bed and we do like all this reading before bed cause we're super into reading and so on. We like to do a nice long bedtime thing and my kids are still young enough that they will let me read to them, but as they've gotten older and also with the way media has changed so much in the last couple of years, there is no such thing as you get a show and you get a show.
Leah: Oh my god.
Annie: Because if I sit down to work, then I'll look up and be like, Oh my gosh, 90 minutes went by and my kids are watching YouTube videos. I just got a lot of work done, but that was no good. And then we just start really started noticing how it affected them. Just the grumpiness and they don't know whatever scientific study is going to come out to tell us why our kids are so bad when we let them watch 90 minutes of YouTube videos, so you can get work done. And so we recently made a shift where we said there are no screens during the week. And that was something because they were for me and my husband, they like it wasn't even for our kids. They were like, really Oh, get some stuff done. Yeah, I know. And now it's like okay, and we we have to replace it with something but what are we going to replace it with?
My kids are not old enough where we can do the kind of co-working thing that you're talking about, which I can see that coming in our future but what they want is they want us and I'm like, they want us. So we've got a place - I say we have to, like it's this big task because it always usually ends up being pretty fun, but they want us to play games with them. My younger one still wants me to read to her. They just want to hang out and so that white space that you're talking about, my kids, I can see I've been not giving that to them. And so now all of a sudden, I've got less hours in the day to get things done. But what I've been really shown is I can't do that to my kids. I can't make my kids pay for me having too much work to do, and usually I'm the one that puts them to bed because we have our reading thing that we do. And then after I put them to bed that is time to sit on the couch and watch TV or read or whatever and I don't pick up work unless my husband is at work. And then I'm like, I'll do work, because when he's around, that's our time to hang out and just chill, and I know how important that is, and I know that making that choice to take my kids off the screens, because it's bad for them, means I'm going to have less time in the day to do things and it's going to slow me down and make some of the plans that I have and some of the goals that I have for things that I'm working on are going to take longer to do. And I have to say, that scares me because I like to work. I like to get stuff done.
Leah: That must be really challenging
Annie: I am feeling really grateful that at least we've taken the step, and we're going to try it and I'm just going to trust that by choosing my family in this way, my business will be what it is. And that whatever happens with it, I'm going to be happier that it happened this way, than whatever could possibly happen if I kept on sending my kids off to watch YouTube video so I could get work done. Taking that long view. I mean, it's so hard.
Leah: That's really powerful. Gosh, I can totally and 100% empathize and stand beside you in the same difficult situations and definitely see areas in my life as well. I think the older our kids get, and this is probably just cultural issues. It's harder and harder because they don't necessarily play “play”.
Annie: No.
Leah: So then it's like, well, what did they do to fill with our time? And I look at us and I'm like, well, what do I do to fill my time? it's typically something with a screen, but then I'm asking them to not do that, and it's so hard to find that balance and definitely have moments where I'm like, Okay, I need to do both a self-check and a family check on the situation because it is so easy for us to use that as a way because everybody's happy. I mean, nobody's complaining about it. It doesn't seem like an issue until you really step back and see that bigger picture.
Another phrase, just kind of moving off of the same topic or same kind of thought process. When I have the mom that is asking me for a visit, and I really am feeling so much pressure and maybe I have something going on with my kids and it's almost down to, am I going to do this with my kids or am I going to go help this mom, and maybe my husband's available so he could go do it with the kids or whatever. He could take my place, but I always think - and again, not perfect - there will always be another baby for me to see until the end of time because literally if there are no more babies, it's the end of time. So until the end of time, there will always be another baby - always, always, always. But I will never have my Chris, Luke, Ryan and Drew on this day at this age at this moment. They will never ever have this moment again, but I will always have another family that I can help that is waiting for me out there, but this moment is irreplaceable.
So it feels like to me sometimes that helps me come back to, I can say no because of that. it's so powerful to me because sometimes you feel ...especially if you've had like a slow time and then now all of a sudden you're busy, so it's like must see all the people and people beating down your door to see you. And it feels like, Okay, I'm just going to go all out and then next thing you know, you're having the mom guilt and I'm not present and I'm not doing what I should be and it just starts piling on. This has been a phrase that's come to me when I'm feeling that torn, like should I go see this client? Or should I take my son to Boy Scouts? It's just so hard. And then I'm like, nope. I can choose my family and that's okay, and it doesn't make me a bad person.
Annie: You know what? You can choose yourself too. It doesn't even have to be your family. You can just literally be selfish and choose yourself. You can say, I'm not going to see you because I don't want to see you. I just don't want to do a consult right now and you don't have to have a reason for that. You don't have to have any reason at all.
Leah: Yeah, and I will also say ... just another little thought to think of. So I started out as an adult career in sales, and I had a really great sales mentor when I was just starting out in medical sales and he would check in with me like, how are you feeling? How are things going for you? And if I had any like, I'm just feeling like super overwhelmed or way down, he's like, don't go client calls today. You need to stay in, do paperwork, because you're not going to give your best. You’re not going to make this sale if you are feeling like that. That's not going to get your job done to the best of your ability. And I think that's the same thing. If we're feeling tons of mom guilt and we're overwhelmed, we haven't taken care of ourselves, but then we push to do that one more visit, is that family really getting the best care that they could possibly get? Not that we're going to do anything neglectful, but are we able to be fully present? Are we able to give them our best work when we're in that situation? And if the answer's no, then maybe it's better that they got care with someone who is fresh or on a different day when you are feeling more revived and ready to take on. And it's something to really think about. And I always have held that with me coming from that sales aspect, like do not do sales calls on your worst day. it will be a waste of your time. You’re not going to get it and it's the same. I think you could apply that to any career really. Don't do the peak, hardest part of your job when you're feeling or you're having a hard time in other areas. We can manage that a little bit and be thoughtful of when we are squeezing things in.
Annie: Because at the end of the day, is this a job? Is this about today, or is it about a bigger picture of how can I keep doing? Just like we tell our clients, what are your goals? So don't triple feed if your goal is to stop breastfeeding, right and also when we give people these hard plans to do like triple feeding, we always tell them this is for now, but I'm trying to get you graduated from this hard thing right now. So what you don't want to be doing is if you find yourself in a rabbit hole, where it's always hard every day, you're just struggling, take a step back and say what needs to go. What of this needs to go. Otherwise, you're not going to have a career. You're going to have a job that you do until you're done. And you're going to be done a lot sooner than you wanted to be, and then you're going to be looking for something else to do. And is that good? No. Is losing one client and that income from that one client, is that what's going to keep you going, or is taking those three hours to recharge going to keep you going?
Leah: Right. And I think it's so powerful to step back and look and I think as small business owners, there's this added weight of I have to keep this business running. I have to keep this business running, and the whole world won't fall apart if you needed to take a self-care day. Your business will keep going, clients will keep coming. You can see back to our Goldilocks episode of is it too busy or too slow to manage some of those feelings. But this work-life balance is definitely a challenging area. I think in any career. I think we get a secondary level of challenge because we do such deeply passionate and empathetic type work. So it's just an added layer of draining and I think we need to be so aware of where we are because all of us are going to have a bigger impact, the longer we are out here doing the good work we're doing and the more effective we can be in the work that we are doing so volume higher, more clients, busier time isn't always going to produce our best work. And being really honest with yourself about that I think is another way that we can find good balance. So Annie, as we wrap up this powerful talk, these lessons that we're all kind of walking through together, I know you have a lesson, a tech tip for us today that can always help our lives be more balanced and more efficient.
Annie: Yeah, I do. And I really like to have things automated. So that's one thing that I'm always looking for ways that I can get my systems to do things when I don't have to do them. So I use Acuity to do my online scheduling and Acuity has a feature where you can have them send an email immediately after a visit or within a day, and I have this set up so that I have this whole collection of postpartum resources that are applicable whether or not you're breastfeeding. So it has nothing to do with breastfeeding, but it is things like parenting tips, and I have this great article about using apps to track things and why they shouldn't do that, so things like that. I have got the infant development resources, and I've got the post birth warning signs written out in that email, and I've got links to resources for postpartum depression and anxiety, and local resources. And so I have Acuity send that out to all of my clients after I see them once. So after the first visit, 24 hours later, they get that email and so then...
Leah: What is this email titled? I'm curious, like how do you present it to them?
Annie: It says, great to meet you yesterday.
Leah: Oh, okay. Not necessarily your kit
Annie: It's totally separate from the care plan. Great to meet you yesterday and then it says, I really enjoyed our time together yesterday. If you haven't scheduled a follow up yet, here's how you can do it. Take a look. Let me know if you didn't get your care plan and it all sounds like I wrote it just to you, but I didn't. It says that I can be very friendly and conversational and then you can do with Acuity. You can have different follow ups for different types of visits. So, then if you've seen me a second time, it will say something different, but that I feel like it covers some bases that I just like always need all my clients to note these things. And then I just set it up. Now they know it. I literally don't have to think about it at all. Frees up mental space.
Leah: Yes. And you know, we use Acuity as well. And I do send out a follow up email as well at the 24 hour period but I don't have all these resources in there. And I'm thinking wow, that would be so awesome to maybe have some of the local support groups listed. We have a lot of local postpartum support groups that aren't related to feeding, but like to prevent postpartum depression and anxiety and those kind of things. And I think that is just such an amazing gift that you're giving to your clients. They didn't even know they're going to get another layer of awesome Annie after that. So Wow, what an amazing tip that is. And I'm definitely as always Annie, learn something else and going to be using that. Thank you so much for sharing that. Well, I hope everyone today got a little bit of information on how you might be able to structure your life and find some balance and what feels right for your family and yourself. And I hope that we all walk away feeling a little less stressed and frantic from this conversation because definitely is such a hard one to deal with sometimes.
Annie: 100%. I know and I'm just really glad that we had this conversation and got to hear a little bit about what you're doing, and we would love to hear what you guys are doing. And even if you have an idea of how you can solve one of me or Leah's problems, totally let us know.
Leah: Yes, send me.
Annie: That's a great way that we help each other that sometimes just saying what you're having trouble with, you might not get an answer from somebody but you might find your own answer just in the way you ask the question. So please check the show notes for links to where you can find us on Facebook and start conversations and interact with us, because we really want to hear with you but more importantly, we want to get you guys talking with each other as that's where the magic happens.
Leah: Yeah, 100%. Totally value all the experiences that all of you have had as well and would love to continue to grow and learn from those as well. So it's been so great talking to you Annie. Thank you for being so honest and open, and yes, it's so hard sometimes to talk about these things and I feel like it's just so powerful for us to give voice to sometimes these hard situations that we find ourselves in. So thank you for your time today, Annie and I can't wait for our next episode. So I will talk to you again soon.
Annie: You too, and wishing you lots of white space.
Leah: Yay!! Ah!! Deep breaths!
Annie: Take care, Leah.
Leah: Thank you.
Annie: Bye.
Leah: Bye.