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Kevin has a Point Nemo nightmare. Harley gives Kevin a calendar. Plus: Billy Begins!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.
00:00:24
Speaker 1: Hey man, welcome back to another beardless, dickless me. I'm Kevin, and I got you something fucking way to take over the Holy Sha.
00:00:38
Speaker 2: I'm taking the reins, I know.
00:00:40
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to see it.
00:00:41
Speaker 2: This is a I just wanted you to start your year off right. Oh what is it?
00:00:46
Speaker 1: Cuthulhu calendar?
00:00:47
Speaker 2: Cuthulu twenty twenty five calendar with a different Cuthulhu each month.
00:00:53
Speaker 1: Which is so fucked up because the first thought, I thank you number one, You're so welcome. Number two. The first thought I had this morning when I woke up was Riley dead?
00:01:09
Speaker 2: That was your first thought today?
00:01:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, oddly enough, Oh my god, crazy Riley where dead? Cthulhu live streaming? Oh my god, I love that. I'm gonna hang it right next to the bed, and your mom could just deal with it. She's gonna watch a picture of many different renditions of Cthulhu here.
00:01:28
Speaker 2: One of them is pretty cute.
00:01:30
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something terrifying. Can I tell you about a fucking like horrifying dream I had the other night?
00:01:36
Speaker 2: Oh? I thought you were going to say another fucking ring horror movie.
00:01:42
Speaker 1: I've moved on from the ring Camp, thank god, to other horrifying. There's a guy named I d K. Serling who does these you know, he I don't know what they call him, reviews to bunks like or gives context to like tiktoks. We talked about it last week, were hey, Apple, oh yes, that guy. Then there's a you know, Morbid Facts number four hundred and ninety, and each one is as a dude like turned out he's got a real curated mustache, young guy. And then you know he'll be like.
00:02:20
Speaker 3: Uh.
00:02:22
Speaker 1: Uh, you know JFK was killed on the morning of blah blah blah the same day that someone weird was born, like weird coincidences and shit. And then there's morbid shit about motherfuckers who were like dead and how they got killed and stuff. But I think it is definitely inspired by that. I had a fucking nightmare the other night. I woke up in the morning where I was like, thank god, that was just a dream. Number one in one of those videos, I think it's the guy who's like, you can't do this. Oh yeah, he goes the reason that you wake up before you die in a dream is because the brain has no context for death. Oh it's true, you don't really die in your dreams, usually wake up beforehand. One time, I do remember dying in a dream and the dream went on.
00:03:21
Speaker 4: But I wasn't dead.
00:03:22
Speaker 1: There was like no penalty, So like, based on that alone, man, I think that's why I woke up, because I was like, I'm gonna die, but I have no context for the brain. Can't create that story while I'm sleeping right right, can't weave that show because it's like death anybody. Everything dreams weave is predicated on experience and stuff. I mean, you know, of course, unless you're like, well, riding a fucking unicorn. That unicorn is predicated on some fucking experience, not with a real unicorn, but you know the idea of unicorns, unicorns and media and ship. I had a dream that like I woke up and was standing balancing.
00:04:15
Speaker 2: On a rock in the middle of the.
00:04:18
Speaker 1: At point Nemo, no, are you serious?
00:04:23
Speaker 2: And it was bro it was are you holding babies?
00:04:28
Speaker 1: That's where it came from, a piece of ship. Oh my god. I was haunted. I woke up and I was like, fuck, the babies so scary because suddenly I'm like, where am And then I realized I'm standing on a fucking like point point nemo if you want, but literally like a point like that, like a knitting needle, and I'm balancing on it on my one foot. And then I had this cognizant thought that it's like, I'm like, I am fucked, Like I can't stay here forever, like what I got, it's gonna go through my foot. I'm gonna be here like fucking two minutes. And then yeah, and I was facing the fact that I was gonna die, and it was it was not comforting. It wasn't no, not that way. I mean, think about how hard that would.
00:05:24
Speaker 2: Be, like I'm going to drown comforting.
00:05:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's nice to be away from all those people, just have a moment to think for myself. The only I've done a lot of research on point Nemo since we've spoken about it. The one thing that you'd be like, who is You're not gonna get eaten by anything out there? Nothing lives out there except that the thing I'd be bouncing on, that fucking darning needle, and all this shudden, the sudden fucking ocean depths. Cthulhu rises and it's just like, oh, that would be a welcome relief at that you're like, please, Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking I'm standing.
00:06:13
Speaker 2: On a knitting needle in the middle of the ocean.
00:06:15
Speaker 1: You know how much longer I had?
00:06:17
Speaker 2: Like tops two minutes take me, buddy, plus an honorable way to go.
00:06:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you get to seek Athulu and you're like, holy shit, it was real and maybe you never know, like fucking in the world of infinite possibility. Put you on the shoulder. It becomes buddy, honestly, you don't know.
00:06:35
Speaker 2: Maybe keep you around.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: No Saturday nights on CBS and you solve crimes, get people out of jams, and ship.
00:06:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:06:43
Speaker 1: So eventually and I'm like the leg man of ship. He don't show up until the end. So it's like the third act because it's expensive, but we always have to be near.
00:06:51
Speaker 2: A body of water in order to take place in the ocean at.
00:06:55
Speaker 1: Least where I could get to it and ship. And I'm always I'm always like, you know, in the third act, the fucking I'm like, hey, man, I think you did it, and they're like, yeah, well you ain't gonna improve it, and they pull a gun on me and ship and that's what I'm like, Oh, if we were you know, maybe two miles inland, I might be concerned, but as you can see right over my shoulder, that's.
00:07:19
Speaker 2: The water with my good pal.
00:07:24
Speaker 1: The title of the show yet but you will now. Oh, the guy's like, well are you doing that? He stopped making that noise rises up and then he's like, dude.
00:07:40
Speaker 2: Can you imagine if that was like you were the sidekick to.
00:07:45
Speaker 4: That's what we were just imagining.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: But I could.
00:07:48
Speaker 2: Really it sounds cool.
00:07:50
Speaker 1: I'm way ahead of that. I'm in the sitcom version of the show. Not a sitcom so much. Sounds like an hour long procedure along the lines of Columbo. Quincy. Familiar with Quincy, I've heard of it. Quincy was also an hour long procedural with Jack Klugman, who was one half of the Odd Couple, and since there was very few were very few TV stations back in the day, he was fucking way famous, even though he wasn't one of the original Odd Couple that was Jack Lemon and Walter Methow. They made a sitcom version. That's where that guy got famous. So Jack Klugman was what they called back in those days, quote a.
00:08:28
Speaker 4: TV star and that TV star.
00:08:33
Speaker 1: Uh, once you're you know, once a TV star was TV star, particularly if you want a hit show, and fucking The Odd Couple was as big as a gut. Both him and Tony Randall played the other Felix on The Odd Couple TV show. Got many bites at the TV show Apple, I would like just a nibble. Look, give me the core like a minute dumpster on a Quentin Taranty. It was an.
00:09:03
Speaker 4: So uh. He was in a TV show called Quincy em and you know what he is me, yeah, of course it is.
00:09:16
Speaker 1: You were raised right, uh medical examiner. So he was an hour long procedural where like you know, hey man, this guy died but it ain't natural causes any assistant shilling. And he lived on a house boat that was his like quirk, and he was like in his god, I want to say, in his fifties, but like I bet you if you watch the show now, it was like he was in his mid forties. But he looked like an old man. Everyone looked old than the seventies kid. Wow, everyone even the children looked like eighty. So that that motherfucker Quincy. He would solve crimes, get people out of jams. He didn't have Cthulhu. He's had his quick wits.
00:09:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, going back to Kulu, I have a question for you or King Kong, who's your favorite?
00:10:10
Speaker 1: I mean two are fictional characters and one and one yeah, one is dead Cthulhu who lies dreaming. I I'm not Yeah, I'm more Cthulhu isn't Godzilla. I grew up with Godzilla. He does come from up? No, yeah, how's the song?
00:10:29
Speaker 4: Go up from the depths thirty stories high?
00:10:34
Speaker 1: Breathe and fire ahead in the sky. Gozilla, Gozilla, Gozilla and godsu which was the birdie version of Godzilla. Really, there was an animated Godzilla who was just big ass dinosaur who some reason it was fucking friends with people.
00:10:56
Speaker 2: The big one or the little one.
00:10:57
Speaker 1: The big one, but the little one hung out with the people, but the little one, you know, Godzilla breeze fucking fire. As I said, the little one would be like and like a little surfle of smoke. He would try to fly but crash and shit like that. He was the comic relief, and he was meant to be the Godzilla's son nephew, fucking young version of Godzilla's species.
00:11:20
Speaker 4: They were never quite clear.
00:11:21
Speaker 2: What's his name?
00:11:22
Speaker 1: Godzuki? Now Godzilla is a creation of Toho, and it came out of World War two. You know, the atom bomb. Of course, the United States dropped an adam bomb, two of them, if you will, on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and because of that, naturally it affected their art for quite some time. And one of the first reactions to the atomic war the atomic bomb was Godzilla. Godzilla is a metaphor for the atomic bomb.
00:11:53
Speaker 2: Sow.
00:11:54
Speaker 1: This motherfucker comes up out of the ocean, trounces major cities, level them, destroys buildings, fucking sends people running, screaming and shit, and then disappears back in the sea. Has atomic breath, so it could be like and just fucking fry people. So it's uh Believe me as a kid, I was not like, well, this must be a metaphor for you know, imperialism. This this is something that only came to me later in life.
00:12:21
Speaker 2: I was like, that's pretty wild.
00:12:23
Speaker 1: That makes fucking sense. You gotta watch Godzilla minus one. Oh, it's so fucking fantastic.
00:12:28
Speaker 2: I hear a wonderful thing.
00:12:29
Speaker 1: It's like, legit wonderful. In any event, Uh, Kin Kong was a big fixture of my childhood inasmuch as in nineteen seventy seven slash seventy eight, they released the Deno DeLaurentis remake, which introduces what's her name? Oh my god, why is your name escaping me? I lover her? We got old fucking what's your name? God? Damn it?
00:13:08
Speaker 2: You know the girl in King Kong?
00:13:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Ray was the girl in the black and white one, but you know her name is oh the actor actress and she no in your no not Oh, I'm sorry, there's I'm talking about. There have been three King Kong's my bad, but one of them, no amys, was Lois Lane. Oh, yes, of course, which is very akin.
00:13:34
Speaker 4: To fucking Dawn from King Kong.
00:13:37
Speaker 1: Don there was in the remake that Peter Jackson did. That role was played by Naomi Campbell. Oh, Naomi Watts.
00:13:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, Naomi Campbell was the mo model.
00:13:51
Speaker 1: Toomi Watts, the actress who was in mohalland Drive.
00:13:55
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Jessica Lang, thank you, Oh my good, that's who you forgot.
00:14:02
Speaker 1: Jessica Lang's debut work, wow was King Kong where she was the no. So in any event, that movie was huge When we were children, it was a huge flop.
00:14:14
Speaker 4: But for us kids.
00:14:15
Speaker 1: It was like. And the big switch from the black and white one, which was on TV all the time, was you know, in the black and white King Kong, the classic he climbs.
00:14:24
Speaker 2: What a skyscraper?
00:14:26
Speaker 1: Yes, but which one?
00:14:27
Speaker 2: Vampire state building?
00:14:29
Speaker 1: Very good in the remake nineteen seventy seven. Do you know Dela Anti's remake with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lang and oh a host of others. Where what building would.
00:14:48
Speaker 4: Kong have climbed in the seventies. If they do a Kong twenty.
00:14:56
Speaker 2: Twenty five, it wouldn't be there.
00:15:00
Speaker 1: Yes, So King Kong nineteen seventy seven, seventy eight, whenever it came out poster is him one foot on each tower? Oh wow? Taken out military jets. Oh wow. I mean you know it was fantasy. Wow. So I got not more respect and love for Godzilla and King Kong. Kathulhu comes to you in your twenties.
00:15:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you need him most so true.
00:15:33
Speaker 1: When all the religions have let you down there, when you realize you're back, oh the ancient ones. If there is no divine intervention or justice, there will at least be divine wrath.
00:15:50
Speaker 2: Of course, And you know, fucking that's all that matters at the end of the day. Yeah, is divine wrath.
00:15:57
Speaker 1: Oh great Cuthulhu, crush my enemy.
00:16:01
Speaker 2: Just do me this one more solid.
00:16:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, is just fucking badass and ship because p. Lovecraft, while very problematic, is uh wrote some horrifying ship I think and created.
00:16:18
Speaker 2: Cthulhu is number one reigning champion over all the monsters in my opinion.
00:16:26
Speaker 1: For you, yeah, yeah, but you don't. I mean you were not raised with a stable of monsters. Maybe my generation might have been the last one to have like true like movie mins. I love Crankenstein, Dracula, the wolf Man.
00:16:43
Speaker 2: They're making them, they're making them all, making them all.
00:16:49
Speaker 1: But and Jaws, Jaws, Jaws, Grizzly, these are the last of the great movie monsters in my opinion. Some would argue, yeah, man, fucking Grizzly came out run on the heels of Jaws. It was about his jaws in the woods and now same fucking story bear. Yes, this, but Grizzly wasn't like he got a hold of coke, so he's nuts.
00:17:13
Speaker 2: Grizzly was just like was he a giant bear?
00:17:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a Grizzly. And those are they tried to make it as terrifying as a shark, which you know, I don't know where your generation is on it, but like I grew up in a world that was.
00:17:26
Speaker 2: Like kill them all, the sharks or the bears, the.
00:17:30
Speaker 1: Sharks because of Jaws. The influence of fucking that movie and the book are so great, no shit, you know, And I unfortunately I came to that party late because I was sold a different fucking Billy Goods.
00:17:44
Speaker 2: Sharks don't mean nothing by it.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: They you know, what was it like that morbid facts in twenty twenty four or fourteen people were killed by sharks, but sharks were killed the rate of fourteen thousand per day, yeah or some hour. It wasn't even per day.
00:18:06
Speaker 2: Bro, It was like a depressed so sad and they're such cool, creepy I.
00:18:11
Speaker 1: Will, they're cool, and it is sad, but I need you to step back and go the difference between that fish, that shark, and some human being eating right, like they're farming the sea.
00:18:22
Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, I hate that. I'm a vegan.
00:18:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're like, so are you? I know, but I've got I've got compassion for some motherfuckers, like the difference between like me and my children eating and not eating is like a net full of fish, Like it ain't my way, Like I found another way, and I'm not saying like anybody can find another way. Some people like fishing is in my fucking blood. I'm a good ad and I like him, and I don't have the same morals and ethics that you're doing. Shit, it could never be my way, even before I was vegan, Like, oh my god, I hate it. I hated fishing when I was a child. Oh god, they would take us out on those six hour fucking party but never mind the brutality of killing a thing, like going into its neighborhood and being like, here, god, it's just so fucking boring, bro, It's like baseball, and it just reminds me of like wasted time in my childhood. Now, mind you, it's probably dragged on maybe three party bits across my childhood, but that would be eighteen hours of childhood. I'm never getting them back now, mind you. I waste a lot of time as an adult. That's my choice. That is your choice, pick and choose.
00:19:40
Speaker 4: That's my fucking right back then, though, I'll never get them.
00:19:44
Speaker 1: That's quality time. You know what I'm saying, Almost everybody from that period, you know who ain't mammally gone dead, I don't get to spend no time with them, and shit, instead, what was I doing sitting on a part already? Both granted with some of the dead people in question, but still, oh, I hate you could have.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: Been sitting on land with Mamally just having a good time.
00:20:08
Speaker 1: Honestly, I would have preferred that I was such a Mamay's boy. But yeah, I'm fucking We grew up on the water and I hated that ship, but it had a lot to do with yours. I'll tell you that much. So I know I don't know. I suspect two things I've heard and put together on my own tute. Steven Spielberg may not like me. Why long story, We don't need to retell it here?
00:20:32
Speaker 2: Really?
00:20:33
Speaker 1: Why because your father got big mouth?
00:20:38
Speaker 2: Oh what you fucking do now that I want to go over here?
00:20:42
Speaker 1: Judge your back up point band?
00:20:44
Speaker 4: Oh lord.
00:20:47
Speaker 1: Lord, I ain't trying to say we're even, but like he did take away my childhood. I grew up in a beach town and I couldn't enjoy it because I was always like a shark, A shark, shark. I couldn't sit on toilet without being likesh.
00:21:00
Speaker 2: That honestly a real fear, A real fear that I used to have as well. See that you probably instilled.
00:21:07
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's probably like genetic and ship in your DNA.
00:21:10
Speaker 2: I always was scared of a shark in the toilet. I was always scared.
00:21:14
Speaker 1: Could you imagine your DNA is building you and they're like, don't forget to put in the scared of sharks unreasonable?
00:21:21
Speaker 2: Also in the tub, anybody of water.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: I mean, it's that is for me. I don't know why you would think that unless it was just in the jeans, because I don't think I ever said like, hey man, a shark could be in the toilet unless I related to it as a kid that when I was a kid, I was scared of being a sharking and the toilet. And maybe then you were like and I took you for being like, well, she's reasonably intelligent. You'll know that that's ridiculous.
00:21:44
Speaker 2: I've always I've had a thing about bathrooms.
00:21:48
Speaker 1: Why yeah, you fucking staying them forever? Oh my god, the moment we went out when you were a child the moment the house went to a public place, it was just like I gotta go from and then she went and ship ain't even like she took a whiz and got the fuck out of there. Man like Jennifer be gone twenty minutes. I was like, Wow, she's like she took a ship.
00:22:09
Speaker 2: You're on the fucking toilet for hours in my hoos in my Yeah, I'm not out there.
00:22:15
Speaker 1: I'm not like a fucking burger king going like can I go to the bathroom and then disappearing for a half hour swinging feet on the toilet.
00:22:22
Speaker 2: Sometimes I gotta fucking go, okay, I.
00:22:24
Speaker 1: Mean sometimes the putting you in a car was like a laxative where we wound up next they were going to suffer.
00:22:32
Speaker 2: I think I have that.
00:22:34
Speaker 1: I think the car movements just jumbled it up. And then whenever we got where we're going, you were like I got to drop off kids at the pool.
00:22:42
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, you were a big probably not what I meant by the bathroom. I used to be so scared of bloody Mary.
00:22:52
Speaker 1: I was so scared.
00:22:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was so scared.
00:22:55
Speaker 4: Well fed you that ship because I didn't I don't know, but I like.
00:22:58
Speaker 2: I also should I say this or no?
00:23:05
Speaker 1: Do it?
00:23:05
Speaker 2: Remember the accident at school in Pittsburgh. No, when I heed my pants because I was too scared to go to the bathroom alone.
00:23:19
Speaker 1: So you were in I don't remember this at all. You don't.
00:23:22
Speaker 2: You had to come get me from school.
00:23:24
Speaker 1: Me personally, you and mom.
00:23:26
Speaker 4: So the idea was you were in class and.
00:23:29
Speaker 2: I really had to go to the bathroom.
00:23:31
Speaker 1: You didn't want to ask to go.
00:23:33
Speaker 2: No, I didn't want to go in the bathroom because it was very scary. It was a scary bathroom.
00:23:38
Speaker 1: So you were holding it for a long time, and then finally.
00:23:41
Speaker 2: You were like, I thought if I let a little out, I would feel better.
00:23:45
Speaker 1: The fuck kind of backwards ass plan is out. How old are you eight?
00:23:49
Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe nine or something like that.
00:23:54
Speaker 2: No, not nine, I was like seven.
00:23:57
Speaker 1: We shot that movie came out in two thousand thousand and seven CB eight bit. No, I'm born in ninety nine seven.
00:24:07
Speaker 2: The movie came out in two thousand and seven.
00:24:08
Speaker 1: Shot it and it came out in two thousand and seven.
00:24:11
Speaker 2: Maybe you shot it in two thousand and six. Maybe you're mis remembering. Maybe it was before my birthday and I was still seven.
00:24:18
Speaker 1: Look, keep pushing it. I'll prove you were a teenager when it happened.
00:24:24
Speaker 2: I don't remember that, Mom would remember? You don't remember?
00:24:29
Speaker 1: I mean, would you want to remember something like that? It seems fucking traumatizing enough for you to be.
00:24:34
Speaker 4: Holding on to six.
00:24:36
Speaker 2: I remember it Clara's day? YEA, so embarrassing.
00:24:40
Speaker 1: Do you remember any of the kids in class being like, yes, anybody hear that?
00:24:47
Speaker 2: Anyone to hear a stream?
00:24:49
Speaker 1: Was it loud?
00:24:51
Speaker 2: I can't remember that?
00:24:55
Speaker 1: Yes? And then did somebody like raise their hand in tattle on you?
00:25:03
Speaker 2: Did you tell I had to tattle myself.
00:25:06
Speaker 1: You're like, look, look, I'm terrified of the bathroom, but I'm even more scared was going to happen if I continue to let out a little because.
00:25:15
Speaker 2: I thought it would work. I thought it would get me through.
00:25:19
Speaker 4: Were you uh embarrassedly sad?
00:25:22
Speaker 1: Yeah? I was. I was mortified.
00:25:25
Speaker 2: I was very sad, and I was very embarrassed. But I was more than anything scared of the bathroom. And I was very scared of the bathroom in my own hoose for my whole childhood.
00:25:36
Speaker 1: Your own bathroom and your own hoos.
00:25:38
Speaker 2: Yes, because I was scared, bloody Mary was there.
00:25:40
Speaker 1: Oh in the mirror.
00:25:41
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, they got mirrors all over this fucking house.
00:25:43
Speaker 1: I really do grew up in a house of vanity. So bloody Mary was looking around. I mean some people got like the mirror in the bathroom and ship. We had like hallway mirrors that were just giant mirrors for no other reason than like, here's decor at the end of a hallway. Giganist asked, fucking mirror, where Bloody maryge Probably She's like, oh, it is like a New York apartment. Perfect, this is fantastic. I ain't going nowhere.
00:26:07
Speaker 4: I haunt and ship.
00:26:09
Speaker 1: Do you know that.
00:26:09
Speaker 2: I also used to be like very concerned about the cracks on the floor because the floor is tile and there are like cracks in some places, and I used to make sure I did not step.
00:26:23
Speaker 4: On it for fear of breaking your mother's back.
00:26:26
Speaker 2: Your back, isn't it your Oh no, I guess it is your mother's back.
00:26:32
Speaker 4: Don't step on a crack and break your mad it's back.
00:26:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was. I was really trying to prevent breaking your mother.
00:26:41
Speaker 4: Might I see good?
00:26:44
Speaker 1: Look it out?
00:26:45
Speaker 2: I tried.
00:26:47
Speaker 1: You could have just thrown a rug down.
00:26:48
Speaker 2: Basically my point is I was living in fear. I was truly living in fear. No cracks, no mirrors, no bathroom.
00:26:57
Speaker 1: Until Sinny, until Sinny was the courage Sinna. I know, perhaps it's premature, but well.
00:27:07
Speaker 2: Perhaps, but the uh you can speak about it in hopes that it happens.
00:27:13
Speaker 1: There is a believe it or not kids. I always find this fucking fascinating. There there there are things called bunny rescues, of course, where it's like who gets rid of bunny?
00:27:27
Speaker 2: So many people, I guess, but this one's not even.
00:27:30
Speaker 1: Sa ain't even that. This is a situation of somebody who has a bunny, but they can't keep the bunny because somebody's allergic to the bunny.
00:27:36
Speaker 2: Today I went to a fitting and I did you get.
00:27:42
Speaker 1: Ready to tell the tale? You're like, bro, bro, this is.
00:27:45
Speaker 2: Please, thank you. And I have this necklace on that Austin got me for Christmas, That says Sinna, very thoughtful.
00:27:57
Speaker 4: I think we talked about it on one of the other episodes.
00:27:59
Speaker 5: But yes, Harry fucking score Austin and true like path, yes you know you're getting really fucked for these.
00:28:10
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So anyways, I was at this fitting.
00:28:20
Speaker 1: I hate you.
00:28:25
Speaker 2: The costume designer saw my.
00:28:27
Speaker 1: Necklace, can we sign bar for one second?
00:28:30
Speaker 2: The costume designers were right back.
00:28:32
Speaker 4: To the costume design, but just to just when I saw it. It took me back.
00:28:39
Speaker 1: I I've been given quite a few pieces of jewelry in my day, mostly to your mother.
00:28:47
Speaker 4: But even prior to that, I've given jewelry to.
00:28:51
Speaker 1: Some Oh.
00:28:56
Speaker 2: Scam.
00:28:58
Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you. None of the jay I ever gave out before your mother ever came. Fucking Tiffany, that was your mother. Beat that shit into me. But anyway, back in the day, way back in the day, I was going out with this girl and she was summer of eighty nine and Batman was coming Tim Burton's Batman and it was fucking huge. Remember how big Deadpool Wolverine was this summer. Times that by five and you'll get Batmania like it was fucking everywhere the whole fucking world. It was amazing. So oddly enough, they weren't ready for it, like you would think, like Batman, Oh my god, they must have been printing money with all the merchandise. They weren't ready. So action figures came later, and we're not good. The first wave a lot of ship came later. Who was on top of it was like d C because they were doing fucking.
00:30:02
Speaker 2: Batman where this is going?
00:30:05
Speaker 4: So I probably not so really, yeah.
00:30:07
Speaker 1: There was no Batman jewelry whatsoever. And this girl that I was going out with, I wanted to get her a bat insignia because which now, you know, fucking throw a rock in any mall if there's one left, and you'll find somebody's alway ship. You don't have to go that far. Go to Target, you can buy a fucking Batman Nicholas. But back then nothing. So I was going to school at the New School for Social Research at Eugene Lang up in the city, and I was had a work study program, so I worked in the office every day for like three hours for I forget the lady's name, Dorothy, I forget no Dorothy. Dotty was her assistant and I kind of intern for Dottie, so Dotty knew New York Way better than me. One of the only times I ever been in a subway in my life was when Dotty took me onto the subway to go to Chinatown to go to a jeweler and get a Batman logo necklace made and I had to, you know, just took a picture out and gave it to the guy and tried to communicate. Is because his English was way better than my fucking Chinese. But like he was trying to, I was trying to communicate, like it could kind of look like this. They did it while we waited.
00:31:36
Speaker 3: Whoa.
00:31:37
Speaker 1: It took out a sheet of fucking eighteen or fourteen care gold whatever fucking you know gold? I think fourteen care gold is the standard, right, took out this like thin sheet of gold and like literally just cut a bat that's fire fire in nineteen eighty nine and shit. And so when you were like, Austin gave me this and it said Senna, I was like, okay, I know he ain't going into target being like, yo, do you have Senna? And gold? Like Senna did not exist until he had it made. So that I was like, how how ironic the man she wants to marry just like dear old dad, oh.
00:32:23
Speaker 2: Fund, But how narcissistic? Oh egotistical?
00:32:29
Speaker 1: That yes, I didn't think of that was too bad. I mean I literally look behind me, pictures me everywhere. That seems way more egotistical than maybe.
00:32:40
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I made a jewelry for my girlfriend too.
00:32:44
Speaker 6: To say that Austin is like dear old dad because he got me a necklace trying to ruin my good time.
00:32:53
Speaker 1: Every boy marries his mother. Conversely, I would imagine maybe every daughter married.
00:33:03
Speaker 2: About and so I'm packing up for the day. I'm packing up.
00:33:10
Speaker 1: You're an audition, a fitting. You had a fitting for a movie. Sidebar, we're both shut up.
00:33:23
Speaker 4: Back to your state.
00:33:25
Speaker 1: She had a good time doing. I got to act, I got to say lines, good for you, got for you. I'm just saying, get that kind of work often me, me, me, because I don't hire myself with that person.
00:33:39
Speaker 2: This is this is the time when all I hear is yeah, yeah, that's what I'm hearing right now, all right back to you anyways, So can I say it or are you gonna sidebar?
00:33:57
Speaker 1: It's just funny because you know what I hear.
00:34:03
Speaker 2: That noise was like through something my dad.
00:34:07
Speaker 1: For those who aren't watching, which is a good time to remind the audience if you're just listening to beardless dickless me, what the fuck you're missing out?
00:34:15
Speaker 2: You could watch my your disdain for the man.
00:34:19
Speaker 1: In front of me by going to that Kevinsmith dot com.
00:34:24
Speaker 4: That Kevin Smith club dot com.
00:34:26
Speaker 1: Club that's important anyway, There you are there, you are trying ship on for your movie, Yes, for your motion picture debut of twenty twenty five.
00:34:41
Speaker 2: And the costume designer asked what my necklace said? I said Sinna, And I said, my rabbit has passed away.
00:34:49
Speaker 1: And what.
00:34:52
Speaker 2: She asked, who sinner was? I said, my rabbit? She just passed away.
00:34:55
Speaker 1: And then say, no, you didn't tell her that your fucking boyfriend had that maid. That's like a big part of the.
00:35:02
Speaker 2: Show talking Aboutna no ship, but who gave it to you?
00:35:09
Speaker 1: She didn't stop to be like, well, I know you can't just buy cent off the rack, so what's the story there.
00:35:15
Speaker 6: She's a costume designer, so I'm pretty sure she knows where to get a custom necklace.
00:35:22
Speaker 1: Then I would imagine she would have been like, oh, did you have that maid because you love your bunny so much, which would have opened the door for to be like, I did not, but my boyfriend did.
00:35:30
Speaker 4: And by the door, it's something my father also.
00:35:35
Speaker 1: Courty story. Why can't can't it be me?
00:35:46
Speaker 2: I'm kidding me, kiving me? Can't please?
00:35:51
Speaker 1: It sucks when stories don't have me go back to your story. I'm fucking I'm on the edge of my seat. What does he do?
00:36:00
Speaker 4: This man you seek?
00:36:03
Speaker 2: I was talking to a woman.
00:36:07
Speaker 1: And oh my god, what what does he do?
00:36:11
Speaker 4: This man you seek?
00:36:14
Speaker 2: Tell me? Is it Harry Potter? He sounded like snape.
00:36:19
Speaker 1: Not a bad I mean, nowhere near what it is.
00:36:23
Speaker 2: But I could see where you might You sounded like snape. That's why?
00:36:28
Speaker 4: What does he do this man you seek?
00:36:34
Speaker 1: No, that is incidental, not ringing any bells.
00:36:42
Speaker 4: You are so ba.
00:36:45
Speaker 1: At this game.
00:36:48
Speaker 2: Showing the sheep close?
00:36:51
Speaker 4: What is a little sheep?
00:36:53
Speaker 1: Lamb?
00:36:54
Speaker 2: Oh, silence of the lambs?
00:36:59
Speaker 1: Like you know what? She got the reference from that?
00:37:07
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, ready, yeah, alright.
00:37:10
Speaker 7: So the costume lady Yeslace, inquires about my necklace and I tell her it is my rabbit who just passed away.
00:37:20
Speaker 2: She said, wow, I know of a rabbit who needs a home right now. That's crazy.
00:37:25
Speaker 1: Oh, this kid's This is the point of the story, not so much that Austin credit that my.
00:37:30
Speaker 6: Dad made a necklace for his fucking past girlfriend, which I really want to hear about, and then how it relates to Austin.
00:37:42
Speaker 1: Listen, to the stories that you tell about your boyfriend and stuff.
00:37:46
Speaker 2: I tell compelling stories about how I pissed my pants.
00:37:51
Speaker 4: Absolutely, you're right, and.
00:37:56
Speaker 2: I wasn't. AWF, I wasn't planning on adopting another rabbit right now.
00:38:03
Speaker 1: Nobody's ever planning on adopting another rabbit right now.
00:38:06
Speaker 2: Well, I wanted at the time that it's meant to, and it appears that it's happening. This rabbit needs a home.
00:38:13
Speaker 1: What is this rabbit's name? Billy, Billy, You got a picture on your phone?
00:38:22
Speaker 3: Good?
00:38:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking those that Kevin Smith club members are dicklets are bess. Check check out that noble customer. Two men putting right up to the lens. Look at that champion. It's like, hello, I'm here to mend your broken hot darling. He looks like cinnamon buddy, an Eastern Atlantic bunny. He's like, holy, I'm here to make a fit of that.
00:38:54
Speaker 2: Do you remember what carry grant one time? I was trying to say, like an old timey accent. You didn't know what I was talking about.
00:39:01
Speaker 1: That's what you're trying to do the midday.
00:39:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what I was talking about.
00:39:06
Speaker 1: Really, I do. Yeah, So are you gonna Are you gonna let a new bunny into your life?
00:39:14
Speaker 2: We'll see next on next week's episode. I'm gonna go meet him tomorrow.
00:39:18
Speaker 1: Relatively confident that we can call this episode Here comes the Bun, Here comes the Bun. And that's I think that.
00:39:33
Speaker 2: I asked you a serious question. Do you think cinnamons okay with it?
00:39:39
Speaker 1: I think Cinnamon drove Billy into your life. Yeah, I think Cinnamon's like, she needs a bunny.
00:39:46
Speaker 2: I don't want to be disrespectful to Cinnamon.
00:39:48
Speaker 1: You're not, I think so.
00:39:49
Speaker 2: But also, a bunny needs a home. Am I going to say home? And if not, the bunny is going to end up in a shelter? And I don't. I don't.
00:40:00
Speaker 1: Judge here, I'm already I'm on board. You ain't got to convince me.
00:40:04
Speaker 2: I'm just saying I'm trying to convince myself.
00:40:06
Speaker 1: You don't convince yourself.
00:40:08
Speaker 4: Just do it.
00:40:08
Speaker 1: Nobody's objecting, even your mother, who at first was like, I don't know, is now like you know when you left, you was like looking bunny.
00:40:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, Billy's pretty handsome.
00:40:18
Speaker 1: He was really handsome and Sinna if you believe you know all the internet energy is neither created nor destroyed all the energy that ever existed from the Big Bang. For it, it's the same amount of energy has always been in the universe. So the energy of Sinny pushing Billy towards you, that's what I would say. That energy knows like, hey, this rabbit's in need, and I know somebody who's perfect. Yeah, and now the fun begins, Pewie. But there's a chance you may not get Billy.
00:41:00
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if Billy. It's like if I meet Billy and Billy's like.
00:41:07
Speaker 1: He does all.
00:41:08
Speaker 2: If you find.
00:41:09
Speaker 6: Any speaks, no, i'd be likennies behind holy ship.
00:41:19
Speaker 1: I got one of them. I'm rich. Oh Katholu, bunny, give me my magic wish, fill my belly with wine, in my head full of fish. Wait, that's one of us. Sure, it's like a monkey's pall kind of story.
00:41:36
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I was hoping for.
00:41:39
Speaker 1: You waste, you blow to the wishes, and then you think you're clever and you use the third wish to wish for five more wishes. But then that's when the Cthulhu bunny is just the bunny hops away. It's that simple.
00:41:51
Speaker 4: You'd imagine you'd be destroyed. But Bunny is like, I ain't that kind of cthul.
00:41:55
Speaker 2: But then I.
00:41:57
Speaker 1: Just hop away ship. That's that. You know what's more horrifying How I turned my back on you so quickly.
00:42:05
Speaker 2: Yeah that hurts.
00:42:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, anything that could pop out of the ocean, you lose Cthulu Bunny period, You who are fucked in this life because ain't nobody holds the grounds like a Caulu Bunny baby? Oh no, oh no, I hope to god, uh Billy comes home tomorrow, and I hope you're very happy together.
00:42:33
Speaker 2: Thank you.
00:42:34
Speaker 1: I can see this being Uh, you're not gonna get this reference. But there was a movie years ago called Single White Female, in which, let's see, Bridget Fonda was a girl who was going out with Stephen Webber and she got a roommate, and the roommate is played by the great Jennifer Jason Lee. And it's a kind of from Hell genre, like you know, the Nanny from Hell, the mother from Hell is the roommate from Hell. So slowly she starts like she gets her hair cut like Bridget Fonda, like Jennifer Jason Leada. She starts like talking like her starts like buying the same clothes. She starts twining her scary, and then she wants to replace her scary. There's a very fucking like, very very risque scene for the nineties because it was an early nineties movie where h Stephen I believe it's Stephen Webber her the boyfriend. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Stephen Webber. He's in bed, like sleeping and shit. And then Bridget Fonda playing his girlfriend crawls into bed with him and seduces him awake and stuff, at least he thinks, and then there's some shenanigans going on. I don't want to go deep. You probably don't know what I'm talking about.
00:43:57
Speaker 2: It I no clue oral and whatnot.
00:44:01
Speaker 1: And what happens is he says the bridge of fond of character's name, like like fucking Nancy or whatever. He's like, oh, Nancy, and all of a sudden they cut to fucking Jennifer Jason Lee looking up and going like it's not Nancy, and then she quick goes and fucking finishes and he's like, no, no, but.
00:44:25
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry, what are you saying that?
00:44:29
Speaker 1: The bunny? What? What?
00:44:31
Speaker 2: What's the relation here?
00:44:33
Speaker 1: Billy moves in and he starts fucking icing out Austin. He becomes this single white bunny for Austin.
00:44:42
Speaker 4: Starts dressing like Austin.
00:44:44
Speaker 1: First he's He's like, a yeah, no, this is Billy, real Billy, Billy bunny bullshit. Billy's real, and Billy could be a creep.
00:44:57
Speaker 4: He could move in and be like.
00:45:00
Speaker 1: Were this fucking guy? And then if if there is no Austin, then I'm the Austin. And so slowly he's fucking trying to ice a mount shit. Austin gonna wind up in the trunk of your car, is what I'm saying. Because Billy is.
00:45:13
Speaker 2: Just making me feel real good about this situation.
00:45:15
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to him.
00:45:17
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just a bunny.
00:45:21
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, he's getting like a shaggy haircut, wears Scooby Doo T shirts and ship.
00:45:25
Speaker 2: Oh my god, stays up late on the Uh.
00:45:29
Speaker 1: You come in my office one day and I'm like, oh, Harley, I'm just here rehearsing for four thirty movie Part two with Austins around. Bill. That's not Austin.
00:45:42
Speaker 4: That's I'm like, oh, Harley, stop it.
00:45:45
Speaker 1: Austin she's crazy, right, I swear that'sy.
00:45:53
Speaker 2: China and the bunny Cuzulu.
00:45:55
Speaker 1: No. I think Billy is actually a pretty fun name. I would never choose.
00:46:00
Speaker 2: I would never choose.
00:46:01
Speaker 1: But if he's coming to you as a billy, I think you gotta spend a little time, don't you do?
00:46:08
Speaker 2: Is he gonna sound like? What's he gonna sound like?
00:46:11
Speaker 1: What boy's gonna be an?
00:46:15
Speaker 2: That's talking to Billy?
00:46:17
Speaker 1: Oh?
00:46:17
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Billy.
00:46:19
Speaker 3: You're one of them bonies with a wiener leen. I had one of them around here. God damn weener bunny. Everybody look, it's god damn wiener bunny.
00:46:33
Speaker 1: That we got.
00:46:36
Speaker 4: Say for yourself, weener boy. That's how he gets the debuts voice.
00:46:45
Speaker 6: Oh my god, what if Billy's like some Broadway like He's like show tunes.
00:46:50
Speaker 2: Type of guy.
00:46:51
Speaker 1: He's like I was raised and Broadway. Hello Hello. He's like one sing less sensation and you can't forget the rest? Five six?
00:47:08
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is Billy.
00:47:10
Speaker 1: I think I mean this is And this is no.
00:47:14
Speaker 4: Judgment on Sinny, but Sinny came.
00:47:16
Speaker 1: Sinny was a rescue bunny who came from a sad situation prior to you like you saved her and made her life better and stuff like that. This is a bunny who's just like had.
00:47:27
Speaker 2: No problems as far as you know. Good life bunny.
00:47:32
Speaker 1: Very delete. This bunny comes from bell Air.
00:47:34
Speaker 2: This bunny is currently living in Belz.
00:47:37
Speaker 1: This is one of those moneyed bunnies. That's the title of the show.
00:47:41
Speaker 4: Never mon Here comes the bun funck that noise, the money bunny.
00:47:47
Speaker 2: He's a fancy style.
00:47:49
Speaker 1: And be like, oh, I'll take Billy and to check for ten thousand dollars.
00:47:54
Speaker 2: Remember, I need you to support you.
00:47:56
Speaker 1: Like like give a cat or give one of the cats in Jersey to somebody who was like, well you got to pay for its vet. What the fuck is.
00:48:08
Speaker 3: Right?
00:48:08
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, right at all? Yeah, the moneyed bunny. The Billy bell Aer story. Wow, I like single white bunny, single bunny. I like single white females, so it would be single bunny.
00:48:26
Speaker 2: Male, single.
00:48:29
Speaker 1: Single bunny. Mail Man and Austin. At one point it is just the conversation where it's like, path, it's late at night, you're in bed, puff, what do you like Billy? I don't trust Billy.
00:48:51
Speaker 2: Fuck God, I'm not gonna be scared of Billy. Now you're building Billy up.
00:48:56
Speaker 1: My head rolls over and fucking looks and there's fucking Billy on the fuck floor going, oh.
00:49:01
Speaker 2: My god, you're scary me. Well, I guess you'd be going after Austin, not me, so I'm good.
00:49:13
Speaker 1: And then not only that, but then he's gonna take Austin's place. You're gonna bunnies, looks like you know. But then there's the third vacccene where fucking like you finally confront the bunny, like where Billy, where's Austin And he's just digging into his fucking leg with a knife. It was just like, I want you to see what I see, Harley, and.
00:49:45
Speaker 2: I didn't think anything. Oh my god, Billy.
00:49:50
Speaker 1: And it comes down to you and Billy and a gun. That's at these movies end, or you push your ey I think, and maybe single females got pushed out a window. I forget, but like you gotta eventually, you gotta fucking kill the intruth.
00:50:08
Speaker 2: Billy throws me out the window of my one story home.
00:50:12
Speaker 1: Sometimes in these stories, the psychopath, like you know, does some damage to the hero heroine, but generally no, you're left alone. It's the world around you that gets destroyed, almost to the point where you could be framed for these things as well. But then that wasn't her plan so much as like ultimately just replacing you.
00:50:38
Speaker 2: So Billy's planned, that'd.
00:50:40
Speaker 1: Be Billy's planning. Billy sees how good Austin has it.
00:50:42
Speaker 2: It's just like sitting back, he's just waiting.
00:50:48
Speaker 1: Looking around doing the fucking like square footage for a bunny.
00:50:54
Speaker 2: Buying a gun. Yeah, Billy look, or maybe Billy already had one.
00:51:00
Speaker 1: It comes with because when you live in bel Air. Yeah, I get that fresh Prince.
00:51:05
Speaker 2: Money bunnies in bel Air.
00:51:09
Speaker 1: You know what, Let's leave the bunny on the back burner for the moment and address the elephant in the room. And my lashes they're awfully up pointing. My god, Is that what it's called?
00:51:26
Speaker 2: Would you say that my lashes are lifted?
00:51:29
Speaker 1: Is that what it is?
00:51:30
Speaker 4: It's a lash lift?
00:51:31
Speaker 1: Is that a process? That's a thing.
00:51:33
Speaker 7: Okay, So you have my eyelashes, Yes, you gave me your eyelashes that go all the way down.
00:51:41
Speaker 2: But instead of going up, bruh, they don't go to they don't.
00:51:46
Speaker 4: Go That's that's what your mom calls me.
00:51:49
Speaker 1: All the way down.
00:51:52
Speaker 2: Shut up?
00:51:55
Speaker 1: They point downward, yes, normally point out my lashes lashes, yes, normally point upward.
00:52:02
Speaker 2: Ideally yes, ideally but not normal no.
00:52:07
Speaker 1: Our downward pointing ones or outliers. Yes, And why on fuck sake would you want to normalize? Fucking what are you? Sneech? That sneech? Didn't I read that sneeche book to you and your mother as well? I did the suses she did all you read me the sneech book.
00:52:27
Speaker 4: I did read souses.
00:52:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I did, as a matter of fact, and I did voices performances. And then one day you were like, maybe I want to be an actor. Do you wonder how sneech there were no stars upon oars?
00:52:45
Speaker 2: You're a sneech.
00:52:47
Speaker 4: No, I'm the fucking guy selling the stars.
00:52:50
Speaker 1: That's why I want to be in that story, because the sneaches without the star, they're both fucking idiots. Like, that's the point of that story.
00:52:59
Speaker 2: You're the ones.
00:53:00
Speaker 1: No, I'm not the ones there. It hits a whole different story in that story.
00:53:04
Speaker 4: I'm the loraxe, I speak for the tree.
00:53:06
Speaker 2: You're the one creepy little that lives in the town.
00:53:11
Speaker 1: No way, that ain't no way, you're that creepy. That's Billy. That's why I never see him. And Ship puts on that human mit points and Ship then takes it off. Just there poxt Moe. He's the hunter Rose of Yeah, foster cats not foster what would.
00:53:38
Speaker 2: It be adopted cat? You give huge onancelor vibes.
00:53:45
Speaker 4: You don't even know what a once ser vibe is.
00:53:47
Speaker 2: I do, I'm looking at it.
00:53:49
Speaker 1: No, it ain't here.
00:53:50
Speaker 4: I'll do you.
00:53:51
Speaker 1: I'll show you right now. Can never be the once sir, once there would never be vegan m yeah, so eat it. Well.
00:53:58
Speaker 2: You made a pretty non vegan point earlier, which one the one about the fish.
00:54:04
Speaker 1: It's compassionate human point. I look, I love all animals, including the.
00:54:09
Speaker 2: Human animal, including the humans.
00:54:12
Speaker 4: Humans.
00:54:12
Speaker 1: Humans are like fucking you know. They may not be as cute, but they can do cool things.
00:54:17
Speaker 2: Humans can do cool things.
00:54:18
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm also humans, like I got no choice.
00:54:22
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm team German Shepherd too.
00:54:24
Speaker 2: I think there's always an option for what to not eat animals. That's not true a lot of the time.
00:54:34
Speaker 1: I I.
00:54:38
Speaker 2: Mean, you know what, sure beans.
00:54:43
Speaker 1: I don't have beans at a desert island. Man if you're standing on a fucking knitting needle in the middle of Point Nemo. You think you're going to be eaten beans? You know what, You ain't gonna beaten fish because nothing lives there. Do you know what? You know what's out there? That's when they crashed rockets? Really yeah, that's the rocket aveyard man, they say. You know, so the International Space Station is starting to show cracks, and it's like, I ain't gonna last forever. When it comes down in a controlled descent, they're gonna drop the whole First, they'll take off all the you know, fucking toxic hazards and fluids and shit like that, and then that fucker will go right into the into Point Nemo because there's nothing living out there. And get this, it may create some fucking life because a reef will grow out of it.
00:55:30
Speaker 2: Oh, isn't that fact that interesting?
00:55:34
Speaker 1: So yeah, if you're at Point Nemo, you're not afraid to get eaten by a fucking shark or even a cuthulhu. You're terrified of you're gonna your event.
00:55:45
Speaker 4: You can't what are you going tread water forever?
00:55:47
Speaker 2: Are you gonna? I think I think by that point you're not even thinking about food if you're standing on a knitting needle.
00:55:57
Speaker 1: I can tell you exactly what was going through my head because I was fucking sobering a ship.
00:56:01
Speaker 4: I was just like, this is it.
00:56:03
Speaker 1: I knew. I knew the complete opposite of hope, which I guess is fear terror. I was like, there's no fucking hope, Like, this situation is never going to get better than this. Think about it. I was balancing on a knitting needle that was extended out of the ocean, and in point.
00:56:23
Speaker 2: Nemo could not get worse.
00:56:26
Speaker 1: It's all gonna get worse. That is the best it's ever going to be, because every moment after that is me falling into the water, treading water, drowning.
00:56:34
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's true.
00:56:35
Speaker 4: So I'm at least like I'm.
00:56:37
Speaker 1: On quote unquote pland I mean, I gotta fucking find the upside to this shit. Good point, but I woke the fuck up, bro, because I was like, yeah, and it did make me go like, oh fuck.
00:56:49
Speaker 4: One day reminded me of that, Uh what was that the Foo Fighters song?
00:56:57
Speaker 1: What of these days?
00:57:01
Speaker 2: Is that what you were singing to yourself while standing on the knitting needle?
00:57:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it?
00:57:04
Speaker 4: You one of these days.
00:57:14
Speaker 1: You're the bombs will drop, is it? Hope will stop and you'll learn to live in fear. That's It's true. The opposite of fear, I guess is hope because there's like, hey man, maybe something something to work out, maybe you know, but like fucking when you're like, nothing is going to work out if I fall off this, when I fall off this fucking knitting needle that I'm fucking balanced on the middle of the furthest point from humanity from land, I should say on the globe number one, Who.
00:57:55
Speaker 4: Did I upset you?
00:57:56
Speaker 2: Really somewhere?
00:57:58
Speaker 4: Ooh the fuck you really?
00:58:02
Speaker 1: Like? Oh, I don't want to kill him.
00:58:04
Speaker 2: I just I just want to place him on a knitting needle and.
00:58:07
Speaker 1: If he dies out there, that ain't on me. I watched a video about a team that went out to Point Nemo, like the.
00:58:17
Speaker 2: Dreams about this.
00:58:19
Speaker 1: They got off the boat like they had a fucking counter and ship like a counter compass, and they were like, these are the exact coordinates. They got off the boat and they swam around in a point.
00:58:29
Speaker 2: Because nothing's there there. I fact that until comes.
00:58:35
Speaker 1: Out of the water. Look, bro, you don't even got to bring kathudo and make it scary. The desolation. Yeah, you know how fucking alone you would be.
00:58:48
Speaker 2: That's terrifying.
00:58:51
Speaker 1: It robs the mind of reason and logic. You will never see anyone else again.
00:58:58
Speaker 4: And you know.
00:59:01
Speaker 1: That your breaths are numbered at that point. I mean they always are. But now you're you're getting to the low end. You're you're you're only in double digits left. But honestly, isn't that every moment of your life?
00:59:17
Speaker 2: Fuck?
00:59:18
Speaker 1: Truly, whenever I start to think about like, oh, man, fucking this or this or in my I start whipping up like things to be scared about in the future. I'm always like, you could fucking drop dead in ten minutes. A meteor could come fucking rocketing through the house. You'd be only the second person that was ever hit by a meteor and the first ever killed. So you know i'd be I have that going for me. I mean, at the end of the day, Clerk's end, he's the only human being that ever got hit by a meteor and died.
00:59:54
Speaker 2: Wow, can somebody get hit by a meteor and love?
00:59:58
Speaker 1: It? Was a Lady Morbid Facts four hundred and ninety three ethel Whatever the fuck was in her bed when she heard a loud noise and felt something stinging. She turned on the light to see a hole in the ceiling and a meteor in bed beside her. If it had gone two inches to the left, she would have been the second person hit by a meteor in the first one who died that well, the first person who got hit by a meter and the first person died from it. Nobody's ever died by getting as far as we know recorded. I mean, you know, life is long and there are nooks and crannies everywhere, So maybe it happened. Nobody reported it, but I doubt it because that's the kind of thing you tell people like, oh my god, do you know Barbara, she got hit by fucking meteor and died? Like, you can't prepare against that? What are younna do? Wear a fucking suit armor for the rest of your life.
01:00:54
Speaker 2: That's something you talk about.
01:00:56
Speaker 1: Telling you, bro, you gotta live every moment in your life like you're standing on a fucking darning needle that's jutting out of the water at point nemo. Facts on God, You know what I'm saying?
01:01:11
Speaker 4: What's that? What is it?
01:01:13
Speaker 1: On? God?
01:01:14
Speaker 2: On God?
01:01:16
Speaker 4: It just means because God is my witness. Yeah, kind of thing like I swear to God.
01:01:21
Speaker 2: He means like true truth. Yeah on God.
01:01:28
Speaker 1: Period. There it is because there's your beardless dickless more for the beginning of twenty twenty five.
01:01:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's two weeks.
01:01:39
Speaker 1: So far, so good, so far so good. There it is man, uh for beardless dickless me to our good folks who listen to this. iHeart radio show. That's Spotify and Apple wherever you get these fucking podcasts these days. Kids, Uh, thanks for hanging out. Thank you with me.
01:02:05
Speaker 4: And with Billy's mom.
01:02:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, feeling it for beardless. This is me, I'm Kevin and go for beardless tickless day.
01:02:30
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01:02:43
Speaker 1: Well, guess what.
01:02:44
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01:02:51
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