Wifey and Baby Mama

With two special guests, we discuss how you can't give a deadline for healing when you've caused the hurt.

What is Wifey and Baby Mama?

After involvement with the same man, Wifey, Shun and Baby Mama, Shannon have formed a unique bond to keep their children and family united in spite of society norms that tend to pit one against the other.

Shun (00:36.774)
Hey, I'm Sean.

Shannon (00:38.387)
Hi, I'm Shannon.

Babydoll (00:38.894)
you

Shun (00:40.356)
And we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Happy Thursday, family, and happy Thursday, Baby Mama.

Shannon (00:46.057)
Happy Thursday!

Shun (00:48.45)
Welcome to episode 14 family tonight. We not only have another hot subject We have two hot guests to help us bring it to you. We wanted to run this yeah, we want to run this episode and panel out and of course, know one guess would have worked But two is always better. So Shannon you gonna have to help me contain my excitement tonight girl Now get away from myself. So keep me roped in. All right, and since we have two guests

Babydoll (00:55.493)
.

Shannon (00:57.313)
Yes.

Shannon (01:12.307)
Yeah

Shun (01:14.844)
We're not gonna waste any time. We're gonna jump right into tonight's topic title You did it you deal and here to help us break it down for all of you out There are two thriving beauties in the movie industry, you know, they out here making a buzz I met them both during auditions for my series for the show broken love They will premiere in February with me. So make sure you guys stay on the lookout We're gonna keep announcing that to make sure you guys stay covered coming to a city near you. So first we had

Babydoll (01:23.585)
Thank

Shun (01:42.872)
Miss monique moe cunningham. not only is moe an actress. She's the ceo of most art designs. Some of the coldest graphics y'all ever seen. Okay, motown enterprises And lastly cinnamon soul food and cater now listen y'all s y n a o n Don't get it twisted because you don't want to google nobody else baby. Eat that food cinnamon soul food and catering So I know that's a lot but being a boss means being good at more than one thing, right?

Babydoll (01:54.231)
.

Shun (02:11.314)
And I need my people to catch that so we can move out of this box, Shannon, that the world keeps us in, right? So we're gonna meet two fly women tonight. girl wants to put us in the box, but we're not gonna let her. We're gonna pop out. Girls is popping out in 2024, 25, okay? So Ms. Monique, please introduce yourself to the listeners and tell them if I left out anything.

Shannon (02:11.909)
Yes it does.

Shannon (02:16.541)
That's right.

Shannon (02:24.851)
That's right.

Mo (02:32.204)
Hello, hello, hello. First of all, thank you so much for being here tonight. This is really dope. I love the dynamics that you ladies have set up here. This shows progression in women. does. It says a lot. But as she said, I am Monique Cunningham. I go by Mo. I'm only Monique if I'm in trouble. Again, I am an actress.

Shun (02:41.478)
Thank you.

Shannon (02:45.161)
Yeah.

Shannon (02:52.543)
you

Shun (02:52.786)
you

Mo (02:55.666)
I do own a couple of businesses and thank you for this shout out. Me and my daughters actually are opening up a restaurant here soon. Carl's Cinnamon's as you mentioned. So look out for that. Definitely coming soon. Some good food. I'm a mom of four. I am single. I enjoy traveling. And as of recently, I've gotten into gardening. So that's my new thing.

Shannon (03:06.067)
Yeah.

Shun (03:20.176)
Hahaha

Mo (03:23.003)
As far as plants go, plants like vegetables and fruits and those type of things like rosemary, thyme, those things. Let me be specific.

Shun (03:23.13)
Okay.

Shannon (03:26.729)
He

Babydoll (03:26.822)
Hey.

Shun (03:29.746)
You're a we not know man you a we not know man, okay gotcha well Monique welcome welcome Shannon. Let's kiss me Monique. welcome. Welcome. Welcome miss Monique

Mo (03:37.011)
Right, right, right. Thank you.

Shannon (03:42.815)
Welcome, welcome. Got to give you a clap. Thank you so much.

Mo (03:42.901)
Thank you.

Shun (03:46.18)
Yes.

Mo (03:46.549)
Thank you.

Shun (03:50.957)
Alright!

Mo (03:53.099)
Thank you.

Shun (03:55.086)
Next up we have the one and the only miss aisha baby tall owens baby with the body. Okay now also Another established actress out here making her mark. I mean since I met this girl alone chan I think in the last few months she's been in like five films. That's broken love I think maybe total 11 movies give or take so i'll let her give a correct count, but I think I got it right

Shannon (04:04.189)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (04:19.282)
because I'm not trying to get nothing wrong. Okay. She'd be doing the most in the fam world. So I ain't killing keep up, but baby dog gonna come on and talk to y'all. But I'm truly honored to have her and Ms. Bonique as part of our Rolodex crew of visitors and guests here at wifey and baby mama. Both of them, as a matter of fact, I found that working in the industry are good people, know, quickly becoming like my family. You know, the fake ones you learn to keep your distance from and the good ones you learn to hold on to. But anywho.

Babydoll (04:41.096)
Hey listeners, I am Aisha Babydow. I am an actress, artist, entrepreneur, fitness trainer. I pretty much do it all. It's nothing I don't do.

Shannon (04:44.201)
That's alright.

Shun (04:44.336)
Miss baby doll is also a musical artist peep so you can check her behind the mic and on the screen Okay, and I mattered so baby introduce yourself to the listeners, baby, because I know you booked in business. We gonna let you go

Shannon (04:56.211)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (05:01.375)
you

Babydoll (05:10.964)
yeah, I'm just out here making my mark, you know, you'll see me on your TV, either on 2B Prime, in a music video, something, but yeah, I'm, I stay booked and busy, honey.

Shun (05:23.847)
All right, well thank you for being here.

Shannon (05:24.063)
All right, well thank you. We're so happy to have you. All right now.

Babydoll (05:25.878)
Absolutely.

Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

you

Shun (05:34.391)
Alright baby mama you ready to get into this thing?

Shannon (05:35.007)
Yeah, we are ready. Let's do it. Yes.

Shun (05:38.854)
Okay, that was deep y'all just the introductions right shan But believe me I believe me. I believe in giving people their flowers, you know and ladies again. We are later to have you Thank you guys as you all can hear they're very busy But thank you for taking the time to stop my wife and baby mama so we can work a little black girl magic tonight So I promise one thing Shannon. I want to start guys before we did this channel You remember last week when I was fumbling and stumbling all over that book. So I'm back to tell you guys that is called the professionals

Babydoll (05:42.065)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (05:42.397)
Hehehehehe

Mo (05:56.122)
Absolutely.

Shun (06:07.186)
The black professionals guides the author is SJ Brown I would suggest us all people of color not people of color, you know Because if you're not you can learn some of the mistakes people make and they sometimes they don't know and sometimes they do We can learn, know, you can learn how unsafe it is if you like play So everybody Google it and check it out. It's a really good but most of all true read Okay, so now baby mama we can get on with it tonight. We're gonna get into you did it you deal ladies y'all ready?

Shannon (06:32.863)
All

Mo (06:36.71)
I'm ready.

Babydoll (06:37.221)
Guys, I'm ready.

Shun (06:38.322)
All right, let's go so people tonight's topic is just what you may think when you do something to offend or hurt another You know, you can't give them a deadline on when or how to heal when you created that hurt now with all topics You know in anything in life We know there are exceptions to the rule and another thing I consider You know when I was parent preparing tonight's topic in this for the show was some people Shannon may also take advantage of this theory You know, you know, let me explain

When you say you can't put a time frame on how long it requires a person to heal You also shouldn't let that be the basis of your life decisions either mean I don't let someone carry that over you the rest of your life You know what i'm saying? And and that offense can't go against the person or allowed to be used Especially when you you you know, just say for instance if a man And his wife had an indiscretion, right? And then the wife, you know, she comes back she gets you know, she repents whatever they get over

Shannon (07:16.797)
Mm-hmm.

Right, right.

Shun (07:34.77)
Then he go cheats and he goes, you know, I kind of did this because I was thinking about what you did and she may say, okay, you you got that Negro. You don't get that five more times. You get what I'm saying? So don't let that be the basis of it either, you know, but that doesn't mean give them time to heal, but don't let a person use you as a punching bag or a sounder board for the rest of your life. What do you say?

Shannon (07:43.862)
Hehehehe

Babydoll (07:44.61)
Yeah.

Shannon (07:47.87)
Yeah.

Babydoll (07:55.776)
Absolutely I agree absolutely

Mo (07:58.669)
Yeah, I do know it's funny not to cut you off but I was when you gave the topic I was thinking about this and I think the key to this is the word heal Because there's that you can't tell somebody when and how to heal but I do believe that there is a right and a wrong way to heal because Healing to me means that you're working through The situation whatever, you know, whatever offense it may have been

Shun (08:09.746)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (08:16.946)
Is it?

Mo (08:24.994)
And I do think, like I said, there is a right and wrong way to do that because say, for example, like you said, it is the husband that has stepped out on the white. A healthy way of maneuvering through that emotional state could possibly be verbally talking. You know what mean? Trying to understand what happened for this to happen as opposed to every time, you know, something comes up, you're constantly bringing up his indiscretion. You know what I mean?

So I feel like, like I said, I think there's a healthy way to heal. But again, like you said, you've got to be able to set some boundaries.

Shun (09:04.498)
Shannon, what do you think?

Shannon (09:04.723)
Yeah, and the example, the tip for tat, which a lot of people tend to go to, and I'm not sure why, that really does not help you heal. might make you feel good for a moment, but you don't understand not only the psychological damage that you're doing to yourself, but you're going to...

Shun (09:13.015)
Absolutely, absolutely. And that's not proper healing. Yeah, it's not proper healing.

Mo (09:17.792)
Right, right.

Shannon (09:32.287)
continue a pattern of, okay, if this person is doing that, I'm going to do this, thinking that you're really making yourself feel better when you're not. Healing is really stepping back and working on whatever you need to do internally versus revenge.

Mo (09:44.043)
You're right.

Mo (09:56.948)
Absolutely, I think it's also personal accountability too, you know

Shun (09:57.211)
Absolutely. What about you?

Shannon (10:00.935)
Yes, yes.

Babydoll (10:01.759)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (10:07.393)
Yeah, I think that's important even on both ends, no matter what it is, even in a situation where somebody may have caused you offense. I think a lot of times too, we have to be able to look at a situation too and reflect on it to see what part did I play in it or did I a part in this? You know what I mean? And I think that that is a part of the healing as well too, because there are certain things that we do have to take accountability for, because we did help create certain situations depending on what it

Babydoll (10:16.128)
Okay.

Shannon (10:24.647)
Right, right.

Mo (10:36.725)
what it is, whether we've allowed somebody to do too much to us, to give them too much leeway, or not being able to communicate effectively, or whatever it may be. You know what mean? Sometimes it's about what we don't say as opposed to what we do say.

Shannon (10:44.424)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (10:45.508)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (10:56.195)
Exactly. And a lot of times too, I know in my own marriage and situations that I've run into where, you my husband will want me to be okay. So he so he's okay. You know, I need you to heal in two days. I need you to heal in 20 minutes so that I can go about my life. Yeah.

Mo (11:11.016)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (11:11.346)
So he feel better.

Babydoll (11:11.814)
All right.

Mo (11:14.025)
Right.

Babydoll (11:16.34)
Yeah

Mo (11:16.801)
Right. Right, right, right, right. And it, and I was about to say, you know, I think that's just common in men in general, even when it comes to their relationships, they get over things super, super fast. And it's like, hold on, wait a minute. I have to deescalate here. You know what I mean? You might be okay, but I need a minute to get my mind right.

Babydoll (11:19.487)
Typical men.

Shannon (11:26.375)
Yeah.

Shannon (11:32.671)
you

Right. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

Shun (11:35.291)
Mm-hmm.

Babydoll (11:39.337)
Right.

That is true.

Shun (11:43.026)
Baby doll, what's your take on it?

Babydoll (11:45.63)
I just think like you give a person an inch and they'll take a mile. So that's where I'm at with it. I'm not with the narcissistic behaviors and things like that. So yeah, I just really would rather just stay away from that kind of thing. That's kind of where I'm at right now.

Shun (12:04.402)
So what I'm hearing is if someone if someone gives it or creates an indiscretion It doesn't have to be cheating if someone does something to offend you in a relationship at all Do you not so do you have zero tolerance because I do have a friend Just zero tolerance policy on anything. Are you one of those people? Okay, and guess what? You are allowed to be one of those people. Thank you, Monique. That's what I was about to say I'm so happy to hear you say that

Babydoll (12:18.343)
Yeah, I'm... Exactly.

Mo (12:20.099)
She said yeah.

Shannon (12:24.521)
Ha ha ha ha.

Babydoll (12:24.816)
I am one of those people.

Mo (12:27.006)
That's okay. Absolutely, absolutely.

Shun (12:32.72)
You're allowed to say I'm a one and done her. Okay, I don't give you a chance to do it to me again And again, it doesn't have to be cheating. It could be you talk to me the wrong way you hit me, you know My my thing is when we talk about dating and then we talk about marriage Shannon and I often reference on this show and dating it is zero policy with some stuff hitting name-calling or cheating if I'm dating you goodbye We're not even about to put no stock into that but it's different once you

Mo (12:35.165)
Yeah?

Babydoll (12:35.227)
Yeah.

Babydoll (12:42.749)
Yep.

Shannon (12:59.444)
Huh?

Shun (13:00.375)
married and you got years, kids, houses. You know, sometimes you can't just walk away. I mean, you can, but you don't want to. It's just too much at stake.

Babydoll (13:05.783)
Right.

Mo (13:07.729)
Okay, nice.

So having said that, can I ask you both that, so when you say in dating, yes, it is easy for your tolerance level to be like, okay, you know what? I'm not dealing with this, out. But how, what do you have to go through mentally to get past that urge to say forget you when you're actually married?

Shannon (13:31.795)
Yeah, when you

Shun (13:32.347)
Well, you got if it's worth saying forget you you know what I mean and it goes I'm sorry Shannon you go ahead Shannon cuz my come on So you go ahead you answer first You guys are used to

Shannon (13:37.054)
Yeah.

Shannon (13:40.536)
No, no, no. No, no, you're...

Mo (13:41.233)
Okay.

Babydoll (13:43.958)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (13:44.831)
Yeah, well for me it depends on what's at stake, you know. When you have children, when you have a blended family, when you have others that are looking at you, not saying you gotta live for your children and live for other people, but I think just like in any relationship, friendship, work,

scenarios sometimes you have to put in work and With boyfriend girlfriend, maybe not but once you've said those vows You know you've you've you've committed yourselves to each other and then you have these little eyes looking at you saying okay Are you gonna be here for me? You really have to think about what's at stake and That will sometimes make you

Babydoll (14:17.627)
Okay.

Shannon (14:43.985)
recognize that you have to put in some type of work and not saying you gotta, you know, lower your self worth or put your self esteem on the line, but at least try to work some things out. Everything is not a one and done to me when it comes to a marriage and trying to make sure that your family and your children come out with, you know, a good experience in life and

You're not not go through what a lot of us went through. There's not a lot of us as especially as black girls can say, hey, we've seen a lot of healthy relationships. So I can I don't I don't know how to, you know, put that any other way. And I can't name a whole lot of people I know that have seen that. So that's my whole reason. And behind doing what we do with Sean and I,

Mo (15:18.105)
Right.

Shun (15:27.74)
True that.

Babydoll (15:27.813)
or

Shannon (15:43.059)
you know, making sure that our children saw, you know, hey, you know, hey, know, Sean and I get along and here's our children. We're blended, not for fake news, not for, you know, show, but just to have a genuine kinship and friendship and bond and say, this is how you love and be genuine with it without, you know,

Mo (15:55.359)
Right.

Shun (15:55.686)
right.

Shannon (16:13.147)
type of mess and or Craziness as some people say y'all must be something must be going on. It's like no she lives in Buffalo She lives in Buffalo. I live in down south ain't nothing going on here, so stop all the foolishness

Mo (16:22.486)
Right. Right.

Babydoll (16:22.562)
Listen because Listen because

Mo (16:28.758)
Right. But that takes, that takes a lot of maturity and healing to get to that point too. You know I mean? Like, I don't know what your journey has been, but to get to this point that that's like, again, that speaks volumes for you ladies, just, you know, mentally, because a lot of times you don't have that. And I think a lot of times that comes from individuals not healing through whatever traumas or whatever situations that they're going through.

Babydoll (16:33.491)
It does.

Shannon (16:36.201)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shun (16:36.466)
Absolutely.

Mo (16:55.416)
So that just shows that you guys have taken a work and insight within yourselves to get to this point.

Babydoll (17:01.287)
That is true.

Shun (17:01.5)
Well Monique, I think you have absolutely hit the nail on the head. You said a lot of healing and dealing listen we Couldn't be in place. We are without healing and forgiveness. But most importantly We had to heal from him in order for us to love each other. You get what I'm saying? Because if she

Mo (17:12.268)
Right?

Babydoll (17:16.971)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (17:17.373)
Yeah. Yeah.

Mo (17:17.91)
Absolutely.

Shun (17:19.73)
If she even held the indiscretions of whatever that he did toward her on me if that projected on me We couldn't get along and vice versa if I held any indiscretions he had with her unto her then I couldn't get along with her So we had to clear the air with that early on to understand. don't know which I had gone I was in the sandbox when they got together. Okay, because they both look older than me. So I don't know what you had going on

Shannon (17:37.119)
You

Mo (17:38.492)
Not the sandbox. Shannon!

Shannon (17:41.407)
my god. my gosh you come so

Babydoll (17:45.031)
whole tree okay?

Mo (17:45.151)
Hahaha

Shun (17:48.346)
Y'all was making babies honey when I was chilling so

Mo (17:51.22)
And by the way, they said Jesus was in diapers. Jesus.

Shannon (17:51.698)
You got that right.

Shun (17:54.35)
You know what i'm saying? I was chilling when they was making babies, but their son No, their son was legit 11 years old when I met jimmy. Okay, and I was 19 when I met him Okay, so i'm just i'm just keeping it 1 000 So it was no reason for me to have ill will towards her, you know A lot of this stuff as black women is maturity We just have to be mature Sometimes it has nothing to do with the man the man sometimes ain't starting the baby mama or the wife and they out here fighting

Shannon (18:00.071)
Yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, Right.

Babydoll (18:05.716)
Right.

Mo (18:05.851)
Okay.

Babydoll (18:14.43)
Yeah.

Shannon (18:16.073)
Right.

Shannon (18:21.737)
Hehehehehe

Babydoll (18:22.047)
Right?

Mo (18:22.195)
Here I go.

Shun (18:23.41)
Another side piece we have to we have to learn to be more mature and decide what do we want our children to see? That's the importance of this podcast and that's the point of these topics that we run guys What do we want our children to see even our nieces and nephews? It's people that listen to our show that are single have no children What do we want our nieces and nephews to see when they see relationships, you know? Absolutely, absolutely

Mo (18:24.947)
This is true.

Shannon (18:32.095)
Right.

Mo (18:46.238)
Healthy too, healthy relationships. Yeah, healthy.

Babydoll (18:49.587)
I mean, you put it in that perspective, as far as what do you want your children to see, it becomes a little different. Because just from me, as far as relationships, I don't really bring my relationships into my home with my children. You have to put in time, you have to put in work to even meet my children. So to even get to that level, that's why it's like...

Shun (18:55.973)
Absolutely.

Mo (19:03.216)
Mm-hmm.

Babydoll (19:10.526)
hard for me to reconcile with that because I have not been there yet. You know what mean? I don't know what a marriage is as far as being a one. I mean, I've seen multiple marriages that really have never have made me want to get married, but.

Shannon (19:15.859)
Okay.

Mo (19:21.693)
Right.

Not a one.

Shannon (19:25.001)
Hehehehehe

Shun (19:25.292)
And I know I'm so I'm so That's funny. That's funny. But you know what? Yeah, stupid. Shen you crazy Let me Let me Let me let me let me tell you guys something. I'm gonna tell you why that is a lot of times we as husband and wives don't cover each other

Mo (19:27.816)
Yeah, not a one.

Mo (19:33.394)
That's the truth. Not what happened. Not in a rush.

Babydoll (19:34.835)
You know, I'm a little scared.

Shannon (19:39.693)
my god, my god.

Mo (19:41.598)
Sell me. Please.

Babydoll (19:45.341)
Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Shun (19:48.622)
I can tell you this people look at mine and Jimmy's situation and be like awesome people every day long all day long every day They put on Facebook. what a beautiful love story People probably wouldn't think that if we didn't cover each other in marriage the way we do and not cheating I ain't covering nothing because Jimmy cheat on me at this big age of 48 y'all gonna see him on the news with that that univari healthcare man The ceo they don't they're gonna be the same. We don't we don't play them kind of games We don't we get whoever he is

Shannon (20:06.611)
Hehehehehe

Mo (20:10.268)
no!

Babydoll (20:11.27)
God, say goodbye to healthcare.

Shannon (20:11.719)
stop it.

Shun (20:16.836)
At this age, we not even tolerate none of that, but it's other things. It's more things that break up marriage than cheating, you know, and as a married woman, this is my third marriage. I can tell you it is, but he has learned to respect. That's a game I don't play. I have learned to respect. It's total. It's things that are non-negotiable for him, you know, and that's me talking crazy to him in public because this mouth is reckless and ruthless and he would say something to me in public and I'd be like, what's your boy?

Shannon (20:19.126)
no.

Babydoll (20:19.675)
Babydoll (20:23.335)
Right.

Shannon (20:23.711)
Yeah, yeah.

Mo (20:23.784)
Right.

Shannon (20:31.743)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (20:44.658)
He told me one night you got one more good time to talk to me like that in public I'm gonna forget that you a girl I'm a fit to get that we married and when his eyes said it and never talk to him crazy again Because he he said his boundary like I'm a grown man. We're not gonna do that and I told him I'm a grown woman. You're not gonna have nobody talking behind my back. I slept with him We're not doing that. I made it real clear. He made it real clear. So we get that off the table now Let's go back to you didn't

Mo (20:53.209)
Shannon (20:53.919)
you

Mo (20:57.052)
heart.

Mo (21:01.137)
Right.

Shun (21:11.686)
Give me the hundred dollars in grosses you left 75 and get anything when I said we got we got stuff like that now That we argue about and but when we go out in public, baby Wean and Sam's like he gave me 75 dollars He cheat that ain't stuff the public needs to know, know what I mean? So that those are just example people those are literal examples of I mean those are examples Please don't take it literally but it's things that go on in marriages that no one should know about but the husband and wife the reason you

Babydoll (21:14.609)
Hahaha

my God.

Mo (21:27.888)
Right.

Shannon (21:29.172)
Right.

Shannon (21:35.112)
you

Babydoll (21:37.36)
Right.

Shannon (21:38.707)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (21:38.833)
Yeah, I agree.

Shun (21:40.562)
That you guys don't want to get married because of the thing and i'm gonna go ahead and say it because it's out there all over that Remi mind Pappu's mess that's going on. That's not for that That's not for the internet boo It's not for the internet And it's those type of things that scare people off from being married It's the cheating it is the cheating husband or the cheating wives And how do I why do I want to get married as a mom and an actress who've been in 11 movies or actress who owned three four businesses?

Babydoll (21:48.422)
Now black love.

Mo (21:50.417)
Yeah, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. But not yet. It's not.

Shannon (21:58.717)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mo (22:07.185)
Ha

Babydoll (22:08.26)
Yes, seriously. Hello.

Shun (22:09.722)
Listen and I'm what's up and I got my own design company Why do I want to be with a man who he's his wife in the other room and he trying to hit on me What does that say to me about marriage? So those are the kind of things that we're showing people and we shouldn't be showing as married people

Shannon (22:12.007)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (22:18.889)
Mm-hmm. Right. Right.

Mo (22:18.927)
Yeah, no, I think now I have

Babydoll (22:19.8)
Exactly.

Shannon (22:26.245)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (22:26.575)
Yeah, I think now I have a better understanding and appreciation of that whole term of equally yoked, because I think that that's really important. Because I think when you come together with like mind, then there's certain things that you don't have to deal with. You know I mean? Because you're on the same playing field. So think that that's, I think that's, yeah, that's it for me. So it's not that it's just kind of hard these days.

Shun (22:33.293)
absolutely.

Shannon (22:35.421)
Yeah.

Babydoll (22:41.871)
Yeah.

Shannon (22:42.439)
Right. Right.

Shun (22:44.626)
There you go. That's a very important monique. That's right Well, i'm going to tell you Jimmy and I were not on the same page. We were not equally. Yo, we were both two wow foods But i'm going to tell you I think what's meant to be will be and god is is the only reason that jimmy and I are still married and i'm going to tell anybody listening that Because it was up to me. I'd have been gone a long time ago. If it was up to jimmy He would have been gone a long time ago

Babydoll (22:45.544)
Yeah, we did each other.

Babydoll (22:59.476)
You

Shannon (23:00.168)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (23:03.436)
Absolutely.

Babydoll (23:13.839)
Mm.

Shun (23:13.894)
But when you are destined, yeah when you're destined to be baby Baby, it's been so many years since that book ended baby. It's another book coming behind that book about what we've been through

Mo (23:14.042)
Listen, I read your book.

I read your book. I can't. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm telling you right now, I'm not ready because I recovered from the last one.

Shannon (23:25.051)
Yeah.

Babydoll (23:28.623)
no!

Shun (23:31.654)
So baby, it's gonna break somebody's heart, but you know in the end it's gonna be all love but I keep it 100 because I think our story is beautiful but I think our realness is the only way people will understand how marriage really work. It's not our peaches and roses and it's not our thunder and light and it's not our thunder and lightning. You have to find your perfect balance and I think you can only find that with the person that was created for you.

Shannon (23:36.231)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (23:40.339)
Yeah.

Mo (23:45.337)
Yeah.

Shannon (23:45.725)
Right.

Mo (23:51.373)
Yeah.

Babydoll (23:55.434)
Yes.

Mo (23:55.661)
I agree, I agree and also yeah, I do. I totally agree with that. I do. But yeah, but what I've seen thus far, think what, I can't speak for baby, but I speak for me. The ones that I've seen that are happy are so far and few in between. The others are more of a toleration. And for me, I just don't ever feel like I wanna get to a point where I'm tolerated. I still wanna be in a mutually loving.

Babydoll (24:14.445)
I just settled.

Mo (24:18.991)
You know what mean? Nurturing relationship with somebody as opposed to I'm just, I'm stuck with, no, I don't, you can't be stuck with me.

Shun (24:19.729)
I agree.

Shannon (24:21.107)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (24:25.618)
That's a fact or What about what about the fake? What about the trophy the trophy marriages where they out here smiling and everybody got on the Gucci and the Louie and we riding in the drop-tile cars and everybody you know everybody get beat right beside your head when you go home those are the worst kind to me those are worse than being tolerated it takes too much energy and let me tell y'all something Shannon you know me what I call you I'll your baby daddy getting the most nerves day

Mo (24:27.926)
Yeah, you, you, not at all.

Shannon (24:36.477)
Yeah, yeah.

Babydoll (24:41.004)
Mmm.

Shannon (24:41.115)
Right, Yeah, the fake.

Mo (24:41.612)
Yeah, no. Yeah.

Shannon (24:50.121)
Mm-hmm. Okay. I know you do you mm-hmm right right right right Yeah, yeah, right

Shun (24:54.354)
100 when I called on I don't be the old girl. girl. We great. You know, Jimmy's the best husband girl He bought me another pair of red bottoms the devil. That's the cheapest dude on earth But you know, I don't need him for that that dude cheap y'all I got a resume y'all when I want something why you need another pair of shoes Yes, ma'am, that's Jimmy But you know what? Right

Mo (25:05.441)
Yeah.

Shannon (25:12.059)
my god, my god.

Mo (25:12.99)
Now he's sitting in the grandkid's of the store with five dollars.

Mo (25:20.802)
bring me back my change.

Babydoll (25:22.7)
you

Shannon (25:23.231)
Hehehehehe

Shun (25:23.89)
Never had to shovel snow in my life. I Barely have to upstart my car, you know, it's things as a man I don't have to do Jimmy my light came on could you go see what it is? It's things that I don't have to worry with you know what I'm saying Jimmy can you tell me why my freaking foot is shorter than the other if you got anything to do with a house like He he answers it for me So it's things that I don't have to do as a wife that I thank God for and it's things that he don't have to do as a husband that he appreciates about me so again

Shannon (25:30.183)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shannon (25:36.52)
Right, right.

Mo (25:37.101)
Right.

Shannon (25:41.705)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mo (25:45.228)
Right.

Shun (25:52.772)
It ain't about faking. It's out here keeping it real I want you girls when you do find love to make sure it's real more than anything and That's you know

Babydoll (25:58.869)
Yeah.

Shannon (26:00.413)
Yeah, because one thing about people, yeah, because one thing about us as humans, and we all experience it, I don't care if it's in relationships with, you know, men or family or whatever, we tend to remember the bad so quickly and forget the good. You know, we've had friendships where, you know, we've had people bend over backwards for us, we bend over backwards for them, and as soon as something go left,

Shun (26:16.594)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (26:17.614)
too.

Shannon (26:26.835)
We're like, you're the worst person in the world. And the same thing happens in a marriage, where as soon as there's something that jumps off or whatever, you forget. And also thinking that everything is going to be perfect all the time. I don't know where we get that from. Probably growing up watching Disney and Princesses and all these fairy tales. Yeah, and the Cosby shows. Yeah.

Shun (26:32.156)
Yeah.

Shun (26:50.726)
On the Cosmic Show!

Mo (26:52.256)
Maybe.

Shannon (26:55.229)
Yeah, all these things where we think our life is supposed to be, you know, your husband comes home, your children are there, and you're skipping around the, you know, kitchen singing, you know, musicals or whatever. No, they're going to be down times. They're going to be situations that cause you to step back and say, you know, what am I doing? But you can't throw everything away off of a moment.

And a lot of us do that, where we take one situation or a couple of situations, sometimes it's a couple, you know? Like me and my husband, I've thrown my marriage away a couple of times, we're like, I'm done with you. And he's been the same way, I'm done with you. And then recognizing, hey, wait a minute, we're two flawed individuals, both of us. And a lot of people can't recognize their own flaws.

And you have to be able to say, you know, look at me. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. And we're just trying to make something work here. We're trying to do the best that we can in a world. Yeah, in an imperfect world. Yeah, and something that, you know, a lot of us aren't equipped to deal with. And I'm not talking about,

Shun (28:09.316)
and perfect world.

Babydoll (28:17.097)
Yeah.

Shannon (28:21.641)
putting yourself down or being abused or anything because I know a lot of people that go through the extreme and I'm not talking about the extreme where you're you're accepting behavior that you shouldn't. It's just recognizing that hey how how how well does the good outweigh the bad. You know how many good times like like I know like Sean was just mentioning with Jimmy I know my husband I haven't pumped gas since I met the dude.

Babydoll (28:36.937)
Yeah.

Shun (28:41.414)
That's the key.

Shannon (28:50.225)
You know, I haven't washed my car. I haven't had to take out trash, you know, those are little things but It's like I know that those are the small things that he does to show that he cares and He's not he's not cheap by any means. the opposite of jimmy is he he will he will splurge He will splurge but then but then but you know, of course there's always a but the but

Mo (29:06.986)
Okay.

Babydoll (29:08.885)
You

Mo (29:15.595)
I'm about to say what's the but?

Babydoll (29:17.68)
You're gonna hear about it.

Shannon (29:19.069)
The but is, yeah, he'll splurge, me that Tiffany necklace and then come back, you know, a couple of weeks later and say, can you pay the electric bill? Yeah, so yes, yes, yes.

Mo (29:28.971)
okay, okay, okay. So it's a toss off. It's a toss off.

Shun (29:35.41)
But guess what? Those are all the things though marriage is about no one runs on a perfect plan You have to do what works for you. You know what I'm saying? You have to do what works for you Now I want to I want to switch really quick because we're almost out of time But a relationship of course to me the man and the woman is always the most important So I like this I like to dwell there as long as we can but I do want to touch on Family and other things when you did it you deal

Mo (29:45.46)
Right.

Babydoll (29:59.817)
Ooh.

Shannon (30:00.912)
yeah, yeah.

Shun (30:02.502)
How long before like we kind of touched on it last week channel with the family member girls like baby doll You have a no-nonsense policy for men like you cheat you out. I get it and I think that's totally correct But what's a family member, right? They something

Mo (30:09.877)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (30:16.179)
Hehehehehe

Babydoll (30:17.659)
You

Shun (30:18.864)
They may say something or do something and you let it go that one time, right? But what if it's every time you see that person We have been taught as people of color Well, that's your family. How do you guys feel about that one? I just want you to touch on that room real quick Yeah, baby. Do you've been pretty cool? Yeah, you've been pretty cool, baby. I want you to take this one

Babydoll (30:23.488)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (30:23.637)
Ahem.

Mo (30:30.315)
Talk about it. not.

Babydoll (30:31.785)
Mm-hmm. Woo, I love this topic.

Shannon (30:34.111)
Hehehehe

Mo (30:37.643)
I'm let baby go first. Yeah, baby, you go first. Please go.

Babydoll (30:37.714)
I love this song.

Babydoll (30:42.867)
Well, this is definitely a topic for me because I'm like literally live this whole situation. I am number seven of nine children. So my mom had nine of us and yeah, I go through it a lot with my family. Like things that you were taught, like you said, to deal with as a child where you had to deal with them. You had to go to Thanksgiving dinner and be phony and you know, things like that. And it's like.

Shun (30:52.668)
Whoa!

Mo (31:06.175)
Mm-hmm.

Babydoll (31:07.763)
that I'm older and I have a voice. It's like not saying that I have like a no tolerance at all policy, but I just don't have no tolerance. And that's just where I'm at in life. Like I'm not gonna tolerate disrespect. Nobody talking down on me. So even with family, and I feel like I cut family off quicker than I cut a man off. Like that's just where I'm at with it because them, the ones that have hurt you the most, like these men, they can't really hurt me. You know, it's just whatever, okay, bye. But with family, it hurts more because

Mo (31:26.431)
Yeah

Shun (31:30.754)
That's a fact.

Babydoll (31:36.957)
These people are supposed to genuinely love you and care for you. So that's where I'm at with that situation. I mean, I can talk all day about this situation, because I live this situation. yeah. Yep.

Shannon (31:39.679)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (31:44.999)
Wow.

Shun (31:46.386)
I'm with you on that one and I told it and I totally respect it what you said. I don't know it So Monique you give your perspective on that

Mo (31:47.787)
Yeah, they gotta go.

Shannon (31:48.36)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (31:55.703)
yeah, they gotta go. I don't care who it is. I don't care who it is. you, if, family member or not, and I have, I have some, unfortunately, that I don't speak to just because I've set boundaries for myself. It's either me you, and I'm going to choose me. And if it, if it is a situation where, you know what I mean? You have to take people for where they are and meet them for where they at. You can't make people be something or, or be to you as you are to others. You have to, regardless of who they are and family, unfortunately,

Babydoll (31:57.231)
You

Shannon (32:16.957)
Hmm.

Mo (32:23.903)
You don't choose them, you're born into them, but that does not give them the right to treat you any less of a human being or respect you any less, or you have to tolerate their disrespect or inconsideration just because they have a title to you. Absolutely not. You have a go to.

Shun (32:26.897)
Yeah.

Babydoll (32:39.593)
we go.

Shannon (32:40.734)
Right.

Shun (32:42.14)
Totally agree and I don't encourage anyone not to deal with their fat. That's not what we're doing What I'm saying is if it's unhealthy if it's unhealthy to you It's time to move away if it can be fixed by all means I believe I got I got categories, right? As family members I can deal with at holidays as family members that I probably can't go two days without let me call my homie Let me call my sis. I got a laugh with her about this. It's family members. Of course your immediate family kids husband

Mo (32:49.566)
Absolutely.

absolute.

Shun (33:08.858)
You don't you go a day without him. You like hey, I miss my baby. You know, I miss my husband miss my wife and then it's got them people if I see you in heaven again, or if you don't make it if I realize where you went and that's all right with me too and I Trust me. I won't be sad. Okay, so I want people to understand This is not a perfect box either just like relationships But if some people you have to know and some I think you said it Monique you have to set boundaries because if you don't they none

Shannon (33:12.061)
Yeah.

Babydoll (33:12.191)
Right.

Mo (33:12.998)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (33:18.636)
Ha ha

Mo (33:19.367)
Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Babydoll (33:19.936)
won't give a damn. I won't give a damn.

Mo (33:24.959)
Yeah.

Babydoll (33:25.28)
you

Shannon (33:30.931)
Yeah.

Babydoll (33:36.22)
Mm-hmm.

Mo (33:36.329)
You do.

Shun (33:38.384)
They have none. And Shannon, can you agree on that point before we wrap up?

Shannon (33:42.309)
yeah, I can't agree. just making sure. No, I definitely agree. But also with any relationship or individual family or whatever, making sure that, you know, your expectations. Sometimes we expect so much of people that were let down so easily because we think everybody's supposed to treat us how we treat them. And I don't, I don't agree with that. I do not.

Shun (33:45.286)
or disagree.

Shun (34:01.016)
Mm-hmm absolutely absolutely

Yes.

Mo (34:09.944)
Yeah.

Shannon (34:10.601)
feel like if I do something for you, you owe me. That's never been my motto or my mode of operation. If I do it for you, I do it gladly. And I walk away feeling like whatever, if I never get it back, that's fine. But a lot of people don't operate that way. They think, hey.

Shun (34:14.524)
That's right. That's right.

Shun (34:31.25)
Shannon I do know your heart for all these years. Jimmy was what 25 so for about 25 years I know your heart and I know that to be absolutely true about you But let me tell you where that just waivers a little I'm not constantly doing for you though. You're not giving me anything back now see at that point you got to go Because you have givers and you have takers and the tech sometimes don't have limit So I totally agree with not doing a tit-for-tat even with family and your heart is pure. It's beautiful

Shannon (34:34.964)
Yeah.

Shannon (34:39.047)
Yeah. Yeah.

Babydoll (34:46.528)
Mm-mm. Yep.

Shannon (34:49.439)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

Shun (34:59.662)
I know that for real not just saying it but sometimes people tend to take advantage of that and I just learned to stop setting myself up for those type of situations. I also just kept showing up and getting beat and beat and not physically, literally because it's my family. Girl, baby, let me tell y'all something. One Thanksgiving I walked in and I walked out 20 minutes later and they didn't see me no more. Goodbye. I don't have to deal with that. I don't have to deal with that.

Babydoll (35:04.882)
Yep.

Shannon (35:05.119)
Yeah.

Babydoll (35:12.576)
Woo.

Mo (35:14.669)
Right.

Shannon (35:21.663)
No.

Mo (35:22.623)
I bet, I bet. Not on a holiday.

Babydoll (35:24.906)
Listen, I haven't been to Thanksgiving. I haven't been to Thanksgiving in three years.

Shannon (35:26.055)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shun (35:28.178)
What's it do with that? It's NANDE!

Mo (35:30.537)
Mm-hmm. know but on a holiday you supposed to be you know I mean you supposed to eat and drink and be merry I don't want to be an attitude

Shannon (35:31.283)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (35:36.046)
Yeah, and be married Exactly, I don't want to smack your lips are whispering like it's gotta go So the most important thing unless okay if the most important thing i'm hearing here is boundaries and respect And that's what and peace. Personal peace is definitely it if those three are not being served if that ain't in the room. Shawn ain't in the building. Okay? And that's just the bottom line

Babydoll (35:38.784)
Thank

Mo (35:43.639)
Yeah, yeah.

Babydoll (35:44.882)
Yeah.

Babydoll (35:50.91)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (35:51.229)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mo (35:51.255)
Yeah. And peace, peace, personal peace, personal peace.

Babydoll (36:01.333)
Yep.

Shannon (36:03.219)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (36:05.648)
You guys have anything else before we wrap up and get out of here?

Babydoll (36:05.887)
Okay.

Mo (36:08.919)
I think you said that.

Babydoll (36:10.534)
Yeah, I think so. I feel like me and Sean got the same attitude, honey, so. I'm not to play with me, okay?

Shannon (36:10.887)
Yes you do.

Shun (36:12.594)
you

Baby mama do you have this don't play with me baby mama you got anything else?

Shannon (36:22.975)
No, I'm good.

Shun (36:25.252)
Okay, i'm gonna do the wrap-up but before I do is very off topic one important thing guys I forgot to mention in in this introduction Baby doll is the actual actress that plays shawn in broken love. She's my main character shannon She's my main character And now i'm sitting here like I didn't enter she said me and shawn got the same attitude And I was about to say that's why you played me so well and i'm like I didn't say that she's the lead actress guys in broken love

Shannon (36:38.054)
Yeah?

Mo (36:38.344)
Hehehehehe

Shannon (36:41.027)
I did not know that alright. No!

Babydoll (36:43.296)
Thank you.

Mo (36:48.042)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (36:54.135)
my gosh, I wish ya. Love it.

Mo (36:54.748)
Yeah, makes sense, right?

Babydoll (36:54.783)
you

Shun (36:56.874)
She And Monique played my oldest sister so that's how we all vibe and that's how y'all get down So we'll see you guys in Atlanta Buffalo, North Carolina and st. Louis, maybe a few more cities if y'all reach out But anyways back on topic. This has been wonderful ladies. Thank you so much I'm gonna wrap up tonight's show and then Shannon's gonna take us out of here. So

Babydoll (36:57.492)
It makes perfect sense. It was very easy to play her, you know?

Shannon (37:11.551)
Yeah.

Shannon (37:20.189)
Yes it has.

Mo (37:20.49)
Thank you.

Shun (37:26.194)
We'll wrap up real simple. If you did it, you deal. If you want to return to that healthy place you once were, be it family or relationship, because it can be done if both people involved honestly give 100 % toward finding their way back. And that means no blaming or no shaming along the way. Take as long as you need, but don't dwell in that place too long. And as we reiterated in this conversation constantly, healing is the best way of dealing.

Babydoll (37:44.512)
Okay.

Shannon (37:55.943)
Yeah. All right. That's awesome. I want to thank our guests and welcome back anytime. We definitely would love for you to come back next season. And I want to say thank you to everyone around the globe and all the countries that listen to us. And we've had new listeners every week from across the world.

Shun (37:56.226)
Alright baby mom you can take us out.

Mo (38:04.637)
Thank you.

Babydoll (38:14.08)
Congratulations.

Shannon (38:23.103)
think we're in almost 40 countries now. So we thank you all for listening to us every week and we welcome you to our final episode next week for season four. And until then. I know, no. And it will be a long break this time too. Thank you.

Shun (38:38.77)
I'm sorry.

Mo (38:41.216)
Congratulations.

Shun (38:42.29)
Yes, it will be a long break. Thank you Shannon. Thank you We'll reiterate we'll reiterate that next the last episode. But yes, Shannon will be a long break We're gonna we're gonna take a break until all the premieres are said and done with the show

Babydoll (38:42.846)
Okay.

Mo (38:45.285)
Yeah, congratulations.

Shannon (38:47.485)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

That's right. All right all until next week.

Babydoll (38:58.27)
Okay.

Shun (38:58.652)
But until next week.

Babydoll (39:02.048)
I'm driving it.

Shun (39:02.428)
And there you are.