#60 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater: The Musical, and more

We decided to spin a wheel, a wheel that would add modifiers to existing games. Then we hashed out how these would play out in real life. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater: The Musical, Illumination's Elden Ring, Rock Band as a found footage horror movie, and more. Please enjoy.

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TODAY'S CRUBCAST HOSTS
Brody: https://www.youtube.com/@RACROX
Kevin: https://www.youtube.com/@TheGoldenBolt
Nicco: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl56kbl3tb-KiGEHT7MUGUg
Sean: https://www.youtube.com/@Wolfkaosaun

CHAPTERS
00:00 What are we doing today?
02:17 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater: The Musical
06:56 Quentin Tarentino's 'Peggle'
12:03 Illumination's 'Elden Ring'
18:01 Yakuza as a weight loss DVD
23:58 Spyro the Dragon as a WWE storyline
33:41 Rock Band as a found footage horror movie
39:49 Bioshock as directed by crub(TM)
47:24 LittleBigPlanet in the tone of 'Joker'
57:41 Michael Bay's 'NBA2K'
1:03:57 An MCU The Sims film
1:07:29 RACROX's Crubscriber Question of the Week

Creators & Guests

Host

Brody

Brody is the owner of the RACROX channel on YouTube. Ask him about the Spyro remakes.

Host

Kevin

Kevin is the owner of The Golden Bolt channel on YouTube. He's a boul.

Host

Nicco

Nicco is the artist behind AllHailBuckets, his personal music project. He has a TikTok.

Host

Sean

Sean is the owner of the Wolfkaosaun channel on Twitch. Talk to him about Garfield.

What is Crubcast?

The Crubcast is a weekly podcast tackling various gaming and life topics with a touch of controlled chaos.

Hello, everybody, welcome to this week's edition of the Crubcast.

My name's Kevin.

I'm here with three of my fellow cocrubbers, at least two of whom are currently dancing here on our YouTube feed.

I have Nicco here.

Hi, Nicco.

What's up?

I have Sean.

Hello, Sean.

Hi.

And Brody, are you dancing as well?

You can't prove that I'm not.

All right.

So we're all dancing today here on the Crubcast.

We have a very special episode for you today in that it's, like many of our episodes, hopefully going to be a trainwreck.

Our Resident XL expert, Nicco, made a spreadsheet for us for...

Well, I'll let you explain it, Nicco.

Go ahead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I made essentially a randomization wheel with one value that is a video game title property, you know, ones that we know and love, the likes of God of War, Dark Souls, The Legend of Zelda, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, right?

And then I have another variable that is genre.

So this can be anything.

It's mostly film and TV, but, you know, middle budget comedy, B horror, things like that.

And so the idea is to go take a few of these and either break the story or, you know, just highlight some pros and cons of whether this would work or not and media.

We're pitching our next adaptations, essentially, is the quick version.

So for example, the current spit out of the spreadsheet here is creating Pokemon as a Pixar movie, which is pretty easy, but some of these won't be too easy.

And we're gonna mess around with this and see what fun examples we can get that will hopefully be train wrecks and we'll all kind of run through and improv our way through to making these successful movies or the absolute worst pieces of dog crap you've ever seen.

So Nicco, you had a couple that you pre-rolled that you want to throw out.

Do you want to toss it to one of us or toss it to the class?

I mean, I think tossing well, okay, I have one that I want to toss to one person.

However, I think it'd be better if I toss it to the class now that I think about it.

We're going to we're going to start with Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, The Musical.

Oh, the musical is already off to a great start.

So how do you get multiple people to sing an ensemble high school musical style 90s, but rock song?

How do you how do you start?

Because that's going to be the opening silo.

I so if I'm doing this poorly, I'd write the songs from scratch.

If I'm doing this, if I'm doing this well, I'd do the Green Day move and musicalize the Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtracks as you should.

If that makes sense.

Because if you do not have Superman in this in this site, right, right.

And then you get to the end of the show and they're like, well, here I am, getting older all the time.

I want looking older all the time.

I want really, really sad offspring, really sad offspring.

I'm thinking like the when the Sonic games do the orchestrated version of the main theme during the boss fight at the end, but it's not Superman, full orchestra.

So it'd probably be in the style, the story would be like Tony Hawk or somebody similar to Tony Hawk is being raised by Tony Hawk to become the next pro skater in whatever competition.

And he truly was Tony Hawk.

He was Tony Hawk.

It can't be Tony Hawk himself.

Like unless you're doing somebody acting as Tony Hawk, he's already too old.

I like that there can only be one pro skater.

I like.

Yes, there can only be one.

He has to win a grind off, which by the way, they're never actually doing actual skate moves.

Instead, they have people that are like muscular, holding them up, wearing like these suits that like fit into the background as you're like holding them up and making them seem like they're going down the ground.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or they do the they do the thing where like there's two people and one person is the legs and it's their arms.

Yes.

And they're like a black background and the other person is just the top half of their torso.

Absolutely.

And here's who I want to play Tony Hawk.

I want it to be Hugh Jackman.

Yes.

I think he's older than Tony Hawk.

I'm pretty sure he's older than Tony Hawk.

Exactly.

So he needs to be the young one.

I want to be the young Tony Hawk.

So okay.

So a de-aged, somehow, Hugh Jackman.

He could do it.

He could do it.

The vibe I'm getting then is then like a stage play rather than a musical movie.

Because you're giving stage play instructions, right?

I mean, they'd probably start.

Oh, yeah.

Definitely not a movie musical.

Yeah, I'd say a stage play.

Oh, 100%.

It's on Broadway.

I was thinking of this as like a Disney Channel musical.

Disney Channel musical?

There's gotta be fade outs to commercial and everything.

Okay, like a Camp Rock type deal?

Yeah, that makes sense.

I almost saw it as like the big budget.

Like, you know the opening scene in La La Land with everyone in the car is like singing out on the highway?

It's that, except it's, you know, it's a set that looks like one of the Pro Skater or underground maps.

But then it's like, the camera's following the skateboards as they roll across, and then one of them rolls across the foreground and it reveals another one coming towards the camera, and they're all singing in unison as they ride and grind.

Yeah, right, like, there'll definitely be a scene like, I don't know, Jackson, I don't know how I'm gonna become the next Pro Skater.

I don't know, Brian.

I'm gonna really disappoint my dad in this one, and he has double flip-flop cancer, so I really have to do well to get him his treatment.

Do you mean feet cancer?

No, yeah, double flip-flop.

He has tray flip cancer.

Yeah, tray flip cancer.

Yeah.

So he has 360 cancer, but you know who has to be like the mentor that really helps Tony Hawk out in the end?

It needs to be, and it's not somebody playing him, it needs to be Bam Margera.

You want him to sober up.

You want him to be alive by the time this movie's been made for one.

He does not need to be sober, he just needs to show up and just say whatever he thinks.

He has no lines, just full improv.

That would just make this sad.

It's already a sad movie.

We could set it in the past and have him replay the Hulk Hogan moment and have Hulk Hogan in the movie, too.

No, no, that's too much money.

As long as we're doing things that wouldn't happen.

No, no, I don't want Hulk Hogan.

Speaking of things that wouldn't happen, I'm going to toss this one to you first, Nicco, and then we'll have the class elaborate on it.

But you're going to create the high budget 400 million dollar movie, Peggle, as directed by Quentin Tarentino.

Yes.

Oh my God.

Yes.

So set the stage.

So first.

Okay.

So first, we have a scene where Bjorn is bleeding out in like a warehouse.

Bjorn the unicorn for those that aren't familiar with Peggle.

Yeah.

Bjorn is the mascot of Peggle.

You look up the cover, he's on it.

And the shot of this movie opens up with him bleeding out in a warehouse.

So, I would think that we'd have to have Bjorn being played by Uma Thurman.

And you know, so Bjorn is bleeding out in a warehouse.

And you zoom out to see the like the troll character.

You know, the guy who like unga bungas the rock through the Peggles.

Yeah, we all do.

We all do.

You zoom out to see him.

You see him, of course, played by Harvey Keitel.

OK, and he's no, no, Michael Madsen.

He's played by Michael Madsen.

Mike.

OK, Michael Mads is playing the.

OK, Michael Madsen.

Oh, what's like an obscure weapon?

What's obscure, but like, OK, yeah, Michael Madsen pointing us like with a slingshot that has been freshly shot with like smoke coming off of it, basically.

And he's just like holding that with like, oh, and his rock, right?

And you see like a rock that he clearly slingshot it onto Bjorn.

And that's how it opens.

And then from there, we cut to a series of non sequential flashbacks and flash forwards to how they've name an obscure crime, obscure crime.

What do you mean, obscure crime, like obscure team crime, an obscure team?

So maybe, although maybe they're responsible for like an end run felony conspiracy to felony fraud to.

Cover up in pursuit of a campaign of an election.

Yes, I agree.

And so then that's the whole like plot of the movie is a flashbacks and flash forwards of them entangled in this and somehow it comes running for president.

Yeah, Bjorn might.

Yeah, it's Michael Madsen that's right.

Michael Madsen is running for president.

Well, so then there's the girl.

Then there's like the little ghost girl that needs to be played, of course, by Michelle Rodriguez.

Okay, we're going to go on you, but okay.

Yeah, no, no, Michelle Rodriguez.

Uh, and yeah, no, so maybe Michelle Rodriguez is running for president, right?

Hear me out here.

Bjorn is the president of Enron, and we do a histo-

we change something about Enron so that they become successful in the historical fiction of this.

Why did you get, why did you get latched on to Enron out of all the things that you've said?

No, no, no, I like it.

It's it's it's, you know, it's an alternate history where Enron beat Google.

Yeah, like I was just thinking about like historical events that I could feasibly get away with revisioning.

You can't read anything.

It's Tarentino.

He's done it twice.

He's gonna do what he wants anyway, so you don't have to get away with it.

Yeah, it's gonna be a six hour movie with no intermission.

So six hours, right?

Definitely six hours.

No, with an intermission, because that's the pretentious.

That's pretentious.

Didn't he?

In my intermission last time, wasn't he fighting that with his really long movie?

Wasn't he fighting intermissions?

No, he was saying he wanted an intermission.

Did he?

I thought it was the opposite.

I think so.

I believe so.

With with Hateful Eight.

He was like, yeah, this he's like this movie needs an intermission.

Now, now there's one thing that I think you're overlooking this entire time.

And this is going to be a key point in the movie is we need Bjorn's feet to be on screen.

Yeah, they're going to be some absolute grippers that Tarentino likes.

You're going to see like the Peggle like drop down, like roll down his foot.

So we've seen.

Hold up.

We've seen Bjorn's feet.

He's a horse.

It's true.

Yeah, it's true.

It's going to be a hoax.

No, no, they take the hoof off and there's real feet.

Am I right to be envisioning the the embittered political rival as Jimmy Lightning?

Yes.

No, that's perfect.

That's perfect.

Who's going to play them?

And now Jimmy Lightning, you need a big name actor to play.

Vin Diesel.

Samuel L.

Jackson.

Samuel L.

Jackson.

I was going to say Ving Rhames.

Either one of them.

They're both going to be in it somewhere.

Yeah, they're both going to be in it.

That probably has all the legs we can get out of that one.

So I'm going to throw one to Sean.

And again, the class will take it from from wherever you leave off.

You're going to make the next hit Illumination film after the Mario movie 2.

So this is going to air in like 2030 or so.

Elden Ring.

So it's going to follow.

Scarlet Rock musical number for one.

That has to happen.

Well, it's an easy starting point is figuring out who the minions are.

And I think I already know who the minions look.

We're not going to worry about the minions.

It can just be an Illumination, Elden Ring movie.

All Illumination movies have a race that is just the minutes.

But we'll get there.

We'll get there because this isn't going to follow like the tarnish or whatever.

This is instead going to follow torrent between every single tarnish that they deal with, because it's supposed to be like, oh, this is funny.

We're just going to follow the horse.

It has to deal with all the jumping and everything.

Ha ha ha.

Isn't this funny?

Are you making a Strand type movie?

Yeah.

Because you're having you're having them.

The movie is following a we're doing two horses.

This is in a row for one.

Yeah.

But B, you're having it follow the horse who follows around.

What would be all of the playable characters in every instance of Elden Ring's story?

So this is a strand type movie.

Not to mention he set it up like the minions movie where they just go to the most evil person.

Yeah.

So they like there's like cut scenes where it's like you're like running towards her dawn.

Oh, they're dead.

Next person.

Oh, we're doing that.

Oh, they're dead.

And there's like all these like death scenes until eventually it's like, oh, I can't take it anymore.

And pretty much you go in like the Wreck-It Ralph way where it's like, man, maybe I should be the Elden Lord.

And so you watch you watch the horse because again, they need something to market.

They're not going to market like, you know, individuals with like these big swords and stuff.

They could, but they're not going to.

They're going to try to market that horse and try to make all these like cute little creatures and whatnot.

Now.

But would it be like a coming of age story for for Torrent?

Because it's going to be like, you know what?

It's it's it's one of those like, you know what?

I've been helping out others when I really should have been helping myself all along.

I think this is just one for one, the plot of The Secret Life of Pets.

I'm pretty sure that's already a movie they made.

I have a question, and it's what happens during the scenes where take on me by Aha.

Well, first of all, it's going to be like it's going to be very orchestra version.

We haven't gotten to the last of us, Brody.

What are you doing?

Gosh.

But it's going to be pure on orchestra the entire time.

And also, there's going to be there's going to also going to have like a minion character in there because someone's going to dress up their Elden Ring character as a minion.

You know, oh, that's funny, blah, blah, blah.

And and at the end, whenever the horse is supposed to become Elden Lord, they say, you know what?

I don't need this.

And they walk off into the sunset and it's like to be continued, question mark.

And then you see a minion pick up the helmet, put it on and it says, Horse will return.

Horse will return.

So, so, OK, what do you think, Brody?

I don't.

What do you think the reviews are going to look like for this movie?

Do we think it's going to do well?

Like, what's the Rotten Tomatoes?

And then what are the critics' scores?

It's an Illumina-

no, it's an Illumination movie.

So the reviews are, they're not even, they're not going to be bad.

They're not going to be good.

They're going to be middle of the road in the worst way possible that actually makes it even worse than if it had been bad.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Okay.

Absolutely.

Super Lukewarm.

So what about Box Office though?

Oh, oh, trillions?

Trillions.

Yes.

They're going to make so much money, but no one's going to like it.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to bounce into one more.

If you have any others to set up after this, I will take a pause.

But I've gotten some good ones while I've been refreshing here.

I have one more one that I want to do.

I'm going to toss this to Brody first.

Okay.

And I'll work with you on this one.

What do you think, first off, we're going to start with this part before we go into the plot.

What do you think the angry four hour long video essay responses are going to be to the uncharted documentary?

Okay, so now is this is this like it's uncharted and it's a documentary like someone's brought their camera along with Nathan Drake, or is it like the Cory Barlog documentary of the making of the game?

No, no, those already exist.

So those aren't like, this is an in universe documentary like Elena Fisher is going around with a camera filming Drake.

But okay, I'll give you I'll give you a modifier to make it more challenging.

Elena Fisher is being funded by the History Channel.

So she's are always involved.

Yeah, yeah.

And she can't interfere at all with anything Drake's doing.

So all of the people that he's he's killing and he's murdering he can't like she can't step in and say don't do that.

Okay.

But we do have to remember that it will be through her lens, which I can't imagine.

Well, there will probably be like talking head segments with Drake, you know, on Drake on History Channel set talking about things they found like you're going to have solely you're going to have probably one of the blue guys from Uncharted 2 talking briefly.

Like like a Charlie Sheen style back and forth interview.

Oh, yeah.

Someone's going to get up and walk away.

Yeah.

Someone's going to be like, you know, no, I'm done.

Yeah.

Like, I can't do this.

And it's the blue guy walking off into the Himalayas.

Tenzin hanging out, like not even saying a word.

OK, so Brody, what do you think the video essay responses are going to be to this?

Ridiculously political.

Yeah, that's fair.

Yeah.

That's fair.

I don't even think you need to say anything else.

I think you just encapsulated it.

God.

Oh, man.

So I have one that I want to throw to you, Kevin.

OK.

This is the first one that popped up when I went on and I'm like, this is perfect.

All right.

It is Yakuza as a weight loss DVD.

That already exists in multiple games.

That's already there.

Yakuza has like the similar merging strategy to like to space balls that they have, like everything, everything.

So.

So I'm pretty sure that exists in Yakuza Zero.

I'm not.

Zero is the one I haven't played yet.

That's the one I've been sitting on and waiting because they keep releasing games every three months.

So.

I feel like a Yakuza weight loss DVD.

You know what?

I would say it's easy to say it's Kiryu.

It's real easy to say it's Kiryu, but I think it's Ichiban.

No, no, no.

You know what?

It's going to be Yagami.

It's going to be.

Can I throw something out?

I immediately thought Kaito.

I immediately thought Kaito.

Kaito would be involved.

I think Yagami is a good enough dancer as seen by Lost Judgment's school side game, where he becomes the dance instructor.

He throws his old Takeyoshi Inuit, so as he.

Okay, okay.

That's what I was going to ask.

Is it going to be like a dancing thing?

Is it going to be like really like obscure things to do?

Like, let's fist fight a tiger, one, two, three, like that type of thing.

Like, what do you think would be the rage?

Would they take it so serious?

Would it be so like.

That would be too gamified.

I think like if we're talking how I could see it done in game, I think that would be like almost a WarioWare style minigame segment, but if it's an actual in universe or in our universe fitness DVD, I'm imagining it like a Zumba dancing thing that Yagami would mostly take point in, but we could also continue throwing in like I could see Saejima showing up to punch tigers as like part of the boxing section.

I could see that.

Yeah, he's there Billy blanks.

There's gonna be a diaper section with the diaper guy.

Like, there's a whole sub plan of diaper Yakuza.

Sorry, I'm just I'm picturing little five minute segments with each of the characters because I'm thinking like, there's no world in which this exists and there isn't a Majima segment.

Oh, Majima is stabbing.

It's 100% stabbing.

Yeah, I was thinking baseball, but I've only played the first game.

So he so he didn't really do baseball because Kiryu plays baseball in six.

No, I think Brody is referring to him holding the bat.

Yeah, he has the he has the bat.

But Kiryu plays baseball on six.

Kiryu does.

There's a character that's a professional baseball player in five who never appears again, not even in the baseball minigame in six, which is incredible.

Beautiful.

He just exists to hang out with his escort girlfriend kind of Milky Chan.

Her name is her name is Milky Chan.

Put her in.

So Milky Chan will be there somewhere.

Yeah, 100%.

100%.

Dude, you know who else?

What's her name, dude?

The girl from Judgment who becomes an escort for 30 seconds and is really good at it.

Oh, I know you're talking about.

I remember her name.

I don't remember her name either.

Yeah.

She's like a major character, I think, in both games.

Yeah.

I could see her showing up.

I feel like at that point, you put Haruka in, like you'd have her to do more dancing, but like, idol dancing, probably.

Yeah, Haruka from the later games.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's probably it.

That's probably it of the Yakuza fitness movie.

So I can work with that.

So I have another one that I'd like us to perhaps peruse.

Before you tell me what that one is, I have one for you, Niko.

Okay.

You're going to be creating crub content for patreon.com/crub.

What would you be doing with that?

Well, the first thing I would do is give everyone some music to listen to and then I'd have perhaps the most intelligent conversations of my life about this music.

So how much would that cost you?

Oh, wow.

I think it's five dollars a month, isn't it?

Yeah, as little as five dollars a month gets you every piece of content at patreon.com/crub, every piece of video content I should say.

Or you can support on YouTube via the join button down below.

You can subscribe on Twitch if you want to get all of the live recording podcasts that we do where you get the exclusive pre and post shows.

All of that, any of those will give you access to all of our video content.

There is a $10 tier that covers all of our audio content as well, which I believe is over 100 hours at this point of extra content for you.

That's insane.

Yeah, we've done a lot to earn the $1 you throw at Brody if you give us the upper tier of Patreon.

So, patreon.com/goahead and while you're at it, if you are watching this on YouTube, Brody is in fact a filthy communist, so all of his body just eats money by default.

Is that how that works?

I don't know.

I think that's what I've been told.

I believe it's pronounced Canadian.

While you're down there looking at that join button and considering whether you want to join, I'll also say go to crub.org/join to join the free Discord.

You don't need to be a patron or member for that.

And there's a like button right next to the join button.

Hit that if you're listening in the audio realm.

Leave us a review on your platform of choice.

If you're not listening in the audio realm, reviews really do help get us out there to all of the different regions of the world, including Norway, where we are number 11 in gaming podcasts.

We're the number 11.

We're the number 9.

Are we 9 now?

I thought we got to 9.

We might be.

We're near the top 10 of gaming podcasts in Norway, and with your help, we can reach more Norwegians and hit number 1, and then Norway first, and then the world.

Niko, what was the movie you wanted to have us create?

So it's Spyro the Dragon as a WWE premium live event storyline.

So, okay, so let's identify our wrestlers.

Spyro's there, obviously, Hunter is either in his corner as his coach, or he's another competitor.

Okay.

Are we doing these as if...

So the way I'm envisioning this is it's like a lot of those WWE matches where they're getting paid by Army of the Dead and Netflix to do a really bad zombie lumberjack match tie-in.

I'm thinking of a Spyro the Dragon match.

So I was literally, I was like, okay, so first thing I would do is put Spyro in the ring with Cody Rhodes, right?

Because I just feel like they would have a really good match and Cody would be able to like elevate Spyro, you know, to that main, that Spyro was already at the main event level, let's be honest.

So I fight Cody Rhodes, but then he would get into a program with the Bloodline and the Tribal Chief Roman Reigns.

So Brody, if you'd like to take it from here, what are some of Spyro's abilities and how can they be used to defeat the Tribal Chief Roman Reigns?

Hold on, I'm gonna argue that one with the counterpoint of, Spyro doesn't exist, so we can't do that.

He's not real.

And I feel like it'd be more likely that Activision or Microsoft would sponsor a Spyro the Dragon match.

No, no, I like this idea that they have him, I don't know, they've-

They manifest a physical dragon to fight.

They perfected horror.

They have a hologram with mass.

So like in that case, right, we'd have to, in the case, if we're keeping this grounded, we'd have to do it in AEW and it would have to be Kill Switch as Spyro with a very purple.

There are WWEs, there was a Mountain Dew match.

True.

Like, I was not kidding with the Army of the Dead one.

That happened.

Zombies ate the Miz.

Dude, we could have Dragon Lee play Spyro and like wear purple and represent Spyro in that match.

He's probably low enough on the card that they would do that.

That would make sense.

I don't really follow, but I'm guessing he's probably still low on the card.

So I'm thinking purple mask for Dragon Lee, someone's going through a flaming table at some point.

Yeah.

Gotta be a flaming table.

There is going to be some sort of hula hoop weapon because of the rings that Spyro flies through.

Like, this is more feasible than having a fake dragon fight the top people in the company.

Well, but don't tell me that you wouldn't watch Roman Reigns vs.

Spyro the Dragon.

No, I really like this.

I know Roman's going over, so I don't want to watch that.

That's true, Roman.

I like the idea that this presents, though, because it means that Spyro would have to charge his way through, like, the lightweight class, and then he would have to exclusively use flames on the heavyweights, because his charging doesn't work on bigger enemies.

No, you know what?

There was that one time, a couple years ago, that I remember seeing this on Twitter, there was a big guy named Braun Strowman, who's big.

He's like 6'8, his knees don't work, and his gimmick for a while was he would run around the ring and gain speed to tackle people.

Like, he would just do a loop to speed up and tackle people.

To the point that at some point, former owner of the company and known sex pest Vince McMahon added a train noise so that he would be building up speed, and they added a choo-choo noise showing him building up speed.

So he's gonna be in this match too, and that's going to happen.

Yes, yeah, you gotta have the choo-choo match, yeah, Braun Strowman versus Dragon Lee.

Ideally, if we want to bridge the gap between the realistic possibility that they would do this match to promote Spyro, and whatever the hell you were talking about, if you want to bridge that gap, it's not Nasty Nork, it's either the rock playing Nasty Nork, or Nasty Norton and it's Randy Orton, but he's painted green.

I was thinking that Bentley the Yeti has to get in there somewhere, considering he literally has a boxing minigun.

I could see that.

Yeah, well, it's gonna be like one of the lead up matches.

Now, I don't know that Bentley, what is his name?

You're not talking about Bentley.

OK, I see.

No, there's a different.

There are multiple Bentleys story.

Now I know, you know, who else should be in this?

Because I don't really follow, you know, WWE.

No, that's fine.

That's fine.

They need to have John Cena play.

Yes.

Oh, he would 100% throw his whole body into this role with the skateboard as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He has a skateboard 100% all against Dragon Lee.

See, see, if you ever had like A.W.'s Darby Allen would ever leave to go to WWE, he'd be perfect for the skateboard part.

True.

Because he has skateboards.

Like that's part of his, part of his gimmick.

It's really unfortunate that we can't like engage in hilarity when it comes to.

Vince McMahon, because I feel like as Moneybags, that's like that's a clear cut.

But he's a felon now, so.

Is he really?

Yes.

I didn't hear about that.

Yeah, you did.

I mean, Moneybags definitely commits tax.

Ted DiBiase?

No, the other one.

Oh.

The one the one you were talking to your mom about.

Oh, right.

True, true, true, true.

That's fair.

All right.

Niko Ghost of Tsushima as a Dick Wolf show.

Oh, man.

Okay.

Well, actually, that actually lines up because the one that came up on mine and this is legit is Sly Cooper as a Dick Wolf show.

That one's easy.

That one's right.

Right.

No.

And that's why I kept it.

But yeah, I think Ghost of Tsushima as a as a Dick Wolf crime procedural, right?

So it would be it would be Jin Sakai and oh, man, the elderly woman.

What is her name?

Oh, Lady.

Lady, Lady Masako.

Thank you.

So it would be Lady Masako and Jin Sakai investigating a murder within, you know, you know, one of their villages in Japan.

And the murder would be purported to be by like a Mongol horde or something.

But then as they continue to investigate, they go deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole.

And they find that someone was killed over something.

I don't know something some internal struggle in the village.

Really good pitch here.

This did make me want an LA.

Noire Dick Wolf show though.

Like that would actually be a good use of the brand that Rockstar is not using.

Yeah, I agree with that.

Does anyone have one they want to toss out?

Because I have one, but I don't want to hog the list here.

I have two.

But, Bertie, do you have any?

Because I don't think you said any.

I had a couple pass by that didn't seem that...

So, I had Sly Cooper as a bottle episode.

How is that a bottle episode?

Nothing matters besides Penelope.

Gosh.

Like, they literally just bring up, here's somebody in your dad's gang, and here's the other guy in your dad's gang, and the one guy's never seen again, and the other guy's never seen again.

Which I'm thinking...

Like, I guess the end of 3 does play into 4, but no one wants 4 to happen anyway, so...

I'm thinking of it in the classic bottle episode sense of, like, the gang is stuck in a room together and they eventually get on each other's nerves.

I have a pitch, and it'd be that it's they're in the hospital between Sly 2 and 3 while Bentley is recovering, and that's where the bottle episode takes place.

That would be tough, though, because Sly...

and they all go their separate ways at the end of 2, because of Bentley's spine being broken.

Then how do they come back together, though?

I don't think Sly and Bentley split up.

I think they stick together.

Just Murray.

Yeah, Murray does his own thing.

I think Sly also does kind of go away for a little bit, if I remember correctly.

I could be wrong.

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, if you wanted a Sly Cooper bottle episode, I feel like there was that anime special they did that was like a bonus episode in Sly 1 or 2's bonus features.

It was Sly 1.

Yeah.

So there's that.

Like, that's the whole thing.

There's also the comic.

There were two issues of a comic that they did, which were probably pretty bodily, I'm gonna guess.

Because most of Sly Cooper is kind of a bottle episode, considering that they're all episodic in small areas with low budget, individually.

Alright, that one was one that sort of passed me by and I wasn't too sure, and I think I got a better one.

Which is Rock Band slash Guitar Hero as a found footage horror movie.

I like that you also got that one.

I don't know why the algorithm triggered that one multiple times, but it did.

I got Jackbox Party Pack as a found footage horror, so like, yeah, that makes sense.

Well, that's just trivia murder party for that one.

That's just trivia murder party.

Guitar Hero Rock Band as a found footage horror.

I feel like it opens up with people playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band.

Like that's the setting.

Is it like a PG-13 movie where it like?

No, I'm thinking like Blair Witch.

Like it's.

Yeah, like I'm thinking like it's like someone's bachelor party or like a high school, like a post prom party in like a random cabin in the woods.

Okay.

So you're thinking someone's stepdad's cabin.

And they're going to play Rock Band and drink.

Okay, so you're thinking of more of a normal traditional found footage horror movie with Guitar Hero as sort of the MacGuffin or like main plot as the device is to start.

Yeah.

And then from there, we can go into some weird shenanigans like like that Guitar Hero should like that their specific Guitar Hero.

Maybe he has like an arcade cabinet Guitar Hero when it's haunted.

Yeah, maybe it's died or something.

Now I'm picturing the opening scene is everyone hanging out of the cabin and they're all playing Guitar Hero.

But then like, like one of the people there, their little brother is like outside drowning in the lake and no one hears because the Guitar Hero is too loud.

Yeah, so they're like, what song is playing for them to not have heard?

Take On Me by A-ha.

So I feel like I would maybe go a little more.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I was thinking, I'm right behind you now, Charlene by Stephen Colbert.

That's the song they're doing because that's a cheap song to get and it's free in Rock Band.

And so they're doing that because then maybe whoever was chasing Charlene was the murderer with a monster.

Right.

That makes sense.

It turns out to be Jack Black.

So I was thinking of going a little bit more pretentious, a little bit more high concept with this and doing like so have you guys ever heard of the what's the name of the maybe maybe unfriended I think like one of those found footage or movies that like yeah the zoom when it takes place entirely on the computer.

So like that during the pandemic.

So it's the like from the perspective of the computer screen, I'm thinking about doing something from the perspective of the Guitar Hero game, perhaps a little bit more on the pet scops side of things, right, where it's maybe like a YouTube found footage horror and it's you're playing Guitar Hero and then like things start slowing down.

Like you watch someone play Guitar Hero, I guess, and slows down glitches.

You start to see like in the background, yeah, basically like in the background, things start to like flash on the screen, the band, like it cuts to shots of the band all just like at their instruments, like covered in blood or whatever, right, like just high concept things like that.

And then it's about the person sort of playing the game.

But it's through the lens of playing the game, if that makes sense.

I feel like that puts too much emphasis on the game as part of the tie-in.

Like this is a Hollywood movie film adaptation, so it's gonna have nothing to do with the game.

I'm picturing in the climax of what this is, is you have whoever's left, whoever's alive in the band or whatever, or the people at the cabin playing the game, you have them sort of...

You see the footage sort of adjust shakily as they put their cell phone onto some sort of stand, and then they back up and you see sort of all of the instruments and these big subwoofers.

And right as the killer comes in, bursts in the room, they all start absolutely just shredding dragon force on Expert, and they just play it perfectly to just blast the murderer with Soundwave.

So...

You go, Sean, go ahead.

I had a completely different approach to this, but if you had something to go along with that, Kevin, I can wait.

No, no, I was just gonna ask, if we're using it as found footage, then we have to look at the cinematography of it.

And sadly, with a found footage horror film, we're not gonna get a segment where someone, where the camera is the perspective of the guitar being held by the killer.

And that's a shame.

That's all I was gonna say.

So, how I'm looking at it is it is a found footage of somebody going through Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero, and they're doing it like multiplayer to go through like every single song.

So, you know, they're playing like whatever the first song in Guitar Hero 1 is.

And as soon as the song's over, the loser immediately like an amp falls under their head, they die, they're crushed.

And then they find out that it's cursed.

So they have to play through the entire game.

Anytime someone loses, someone dies.

And if you don't play a game, if you don't do the song within the next like minute, you automatically die.

Now, the reason why this is found footage is because the programmer is the one who's watching the entire thing take place.

Like this is their baby because then you find out that it is is some like angry rock star or rock band developer who is so mad that they got rid of their IP that they wanted to take revenge.

And you find out that this is like a holiday party of like an orbeez or something.

Oh my god, that's just nuts enough to work.

So so I don't know that we'll have too much more to hit on that one.

So I'm going to throw one out very briefly that we can just pass over while one of you gets ready to throw out yours, which is Bioshock created and directed by Crub.

So okay, so we're adapting the Bioshock IP into a film.

So Justin's the little sister.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Justin's the little we're going to CG him down to be small.

I think Nicco is the big daddy.

Yeah, no, no.

Is this all taking place like it's first person the entire time?

Hmm, I think we make it a more serious movie than that, because I mean, if you if you adapt, like if you were to adapt Bioshock to, you could have Nicco as the main character as the big.

So, so that's so here's the thing, realistically, if we were to do this, I feel like I feel like Kevin would star in it and I would be the cinematographer.

Can I, if we're doing that, can it be infinite, because I know how that ends?

Yes, actually, a time travel movie where we have you and then, um, oh, I suppose Elizabeth, Justin Elizabeth, and then, um, Trav is Comstock.

Trav would be able to eat so much scenery as Comstock.

Yes, it's true.

Yes.

The thing is, yeah, yeah, we really have to tell him what to do.

He just do it.

Can I be the bread boy we'd have what the baguette boy I was going to be one of the ones we throw the baseball at at the start.

Baseball.

There's no, there's no ulterior motive.

I just want to throw things at him.

Yes, just to be clear, there's like a dollar and will be featured as an extra in the movie, but we won't tell anyone who he is.

Yeah, no, and would be every permutation of the Lutess's true, but it'd be like the Vtuber.

Yeah, the MV Tuber.

No, I agree.

Then, and of course, if I'm on cinematography, we'd have a lot of Dutch angles, a lot of big sweeping camera motion and unbroken shots, and pretty darn good dialogue.

So up until that point, you kind of had Infinite down to a T, and then you said good dialogue.

Well, not Infinite.

It's my style of cinematography.

No, I know, but I'm saying like, I remember Infinite having some good Dutch angling and a lot of sweeping shots.

So we are adapting it so we can we can do whatever we can throw.

Andrew Ryan in there if we want a songbird.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, Shawn's a songbird.

Absolutely.

It goes without saying he just comes in and B's big.

So does anyone have one they want to throw out to the class or to anyone in particular?

Yeah, Shawn, you go.

Yeah, okay.

So I have one.

This is actually really interesting to me.

Kirby, it's a war movie.

That's how they're that's how they're my god.

Well, so Harry Styles would be in it with Kirby.

So I'm thinking I'm thinking Andrew Garfield as Kirby, Andrew Garfield as Kirby.

No, no, no, no, no, just Kirby to be himself in a like in Saving Private Ryan.

There's just Kirby is also there.

Yeah, you don't change.

It's like, you know how they say, you know, they say like, you know, one to one.

Yeah, it's a movie.

And Kirby is just there.

One to one.

He just says Pollo the entire time.

Just Pollo the entire time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what?

Like Kirby is on the beach of Normandy.

He's on the beach of Normandy and he's seeing like the guy holding his leg.

And he's just like, he absorbs him.

He sucks him up.

Yeah, he has one leg in envisioning this.

I can't see Kirby as any other color than like a beige-ish green.

If Kirby was-

I can't see him as his normal pink.

Well, he could be like Kirby 1 Kirby, where he's like white, because Kirby 1 Kirby was black and white.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm thinking almost like maybe like a camo.

If Kirby was in World War II-

Well, because we're talking about Kirby as saving Private Ryan here.

So if Kirby was in World War II, you have to hope that he's not involved in killing Hitler, right?

Well the thing is, is that the problem with-

Wait, why would we hope he doesn't kill Hitler?

Because he means he would absorb him.

He's going to become Hitler.

Yeah.

I mean, he's killed other gods and he didn't become them.

I can't wait to see Kirby go mouthful mode on a tank.

Gosh.

I think that happens in that game.

I think that happens in-

You're probably right.

That one.

Yeah.

Gosh.

Also, the movie would be like in black and white, but the only time like any other colors show up is whenever it's like red blood, so you see like red splattered all over Kirby's face.

I think the inherent problem with this whole setup is literally that like, if you put Kirby in any real world war, he would sweep.

This is the character-

He does.

This is the character that like Sakurai made survive the like Armageddon at the end of Smash because in his mind, he was the only character that could feasibly get away from that like, extinction level event.

Like, Kirby's sweeping World War II.

So, while we're on the subject of World War II, I'm gonna hit one really quick.

Another quick rapid fire one.

Harvest Moon as a series of government PSAs.

Because it's all about farming.

So I'm thinking like, probably also World War II era, so you have that transatlantic you know, old timey accent and they're telling you how to maximize your farming for the good of the country so you can destroy the filthy communists or whatever.

Yeah, so like the like the dodge duck dip dive and dodge first like look the here in a Chinese opium den Timmy from from dodgeball from the movie dodgeball.

Yeah, like that.

Yeah, like the patches of hula hand tone.

Yeah.

And they'd be like, so we know that your husband Jim has gone off to war, but what you can do for your country while he is off fighting off these dirty and then they say a bunch of things that are awful.

While they go and do that, you can build a.

No, no, stop the sentence there.

You can build and it's a minecraft crossover.

And then like Steve comes in and just starts like just plowing everything.

Phrasing.

Yeah, that's fine.

Remember, kiddos, take the dog with the floppy.

Yeah, right.

And here's how you till the soil.

Gosh.

I have one more I'm gonna throw out.

I have one really quick one that we don't even have to discuss, I just wanted to make Sean sad.

Banjo-Kazooie as the finale movie of the respective sitcom.

So we don't get Banjo 3E as a game, we get it as a movie.

Carry on, Niko.

Honestly, for that one, I think that all the Banjo characters would put their keys in the bowl on the table and then they'd leave the apartment.

Not bottles though.

He's dead.

Not bottles though, he's dead.

So the rapid fire one I wanted to talk about is Forza Horizon as an 80s movie, which I think would be super cool.

That's just like Top Gun with cars.

Is that any car movie?

Yeah, it'd be a lot like Drive, that's for sure.

It's wild that there isn't a Forza-

there probably is, frankly, but for the purposes of this, it's wild that there's not a Forza movie in production, yet considering that the Fast and Furious series is about to end.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

That's very true.

These are facts.

Oh, man.

Do we have-

I was gonna throw out one, which is Little Big Planet as a Joker-like, which is also a bummer movie.

So it's a movie that is supposed to make you feel bad, it's supposed to just make you walk out of the theater like, my day is ruined, but it's Little Big Planet, so it's Sackboy.

So the movie ends with the servers going down.

No, yeah, and it's like Sackboy says goodbye forever type thing, and he does the sad emote, he doesn't speak.

Yeah, yeah, he does the really sad emote.

Well, that's what I'm saying, he does the really sad emote like super emotionally, like think Wall-E, and then the servers shut down.

But even better, the servers shut down, the last little bubble pops, and the screen goes to black, and the credits play, and you're not satisfied at all with the ending.

But millions of people have seen this movie, and millions of people have seen this movie, so they're all upset wondering what the resolution is for this sudden ending.

It's almost like a soprano style ending.

That's how sudden the ending of this movie is.

You're about to finish the game plot, but in the movie, and the servers go down, and everything is gone forever.

But I think in the name of it being a downer, we have to subtly hint throughout the movie that nothing happens after you die in this universe.

So after the servers shut down, nothing, that's the end of it all.

You could set that up.

There'd be a metaverse element as well, where you can upload, almost like Miiverse, actually.

You can upload your own stuff, and it will go into, because this is not going to play off film.

It's going to play off of a Plex server somewhere at Sony's offices.

So you can upload your own facets, either of gameplay or your own text.

So, imagine Miiverse in Splatoon.

That's happening in the background of a lot of these shots.

So this is a live-generated movie?

Well, it's on someone's Plex server.

So there are specific parts where, instead of there being background elements that are already there, it's like a chroma-keyed thing that can be anybody's individual upload.

Because then, when the servers go down, all of that is gone.

And so, at Sackboy, where there would be a wall of like Miiverse behind him of like different things created by people, there's nothing.

So then he looks really sad.

It fades to black.

Give me one sec, Brody.

It fades to black.

Credits play.

Everyone's upset.

This did $400 million in the box office first weekend.

Like biggest movie of all time.

Best picture.

Best picture.

Yeah.

No, but people are pissed.

Until they see the end, which says Sackboy will return.

And there's a sequel movie that is Sackboy a Big Adventure, that is offline, has none of that really cool game changing stuff.

They do it once, and only once, and then they go to a regular ass Illumination movie for the sequel.

Straight to DVD.

No, straight to DVD would be like the Heavenly Sword movie.

Oh, god, yeah.

No, and that is how it would go.

I am picturing two specific scenes, one of which is right before the climax of the movie, there's a montage of Sackboy getting ready for it, and he's putting on like the ragdoll kung fu emo hair, and like coloring it with a sticker, and he's equipping the frying pan, and then he just goes around and he's just smacking all the other Sack people with his fucking frying pan, and you get like the really like THICK frying pan smack sound every time he does it.

The second scene is that ending where he gets sad, except slightly different.

He does that, and then as it's fading, you just see him bring up his poppet for like a split second, and he goes to the kill yourself button, and he holds it down and he holds his breath, and then he just pops.

While doing the sad emote.

Just, just...

The entire time.

Oh my god.

Oh, that's, that's good.

That's good stuff.

That would be like, people would see that as deep.

There'd be a lot of video essays on that.

Or I could probably make this in a LittleBigPlanet game because it has cinematic abilities.

Especially if we did the implying that in this universe nothing happens after you die just to look at other people's heartstrings.

The worst part about this would be, it'd be like actually kind of like game changing levels of deep to like adding lore to the universe and to like making people think.

But you know that most of the video essays are going to be focused around the fact that Sackboy is brown.

Like that's what the YouTube response is going to be.

They're going to paint-

Wait, Sackboy can be any color.

He can be polka dots.

No, but like Cannon Sackboy.

He can be rainbow.

But they're not going to do that.

So people are going to be upset about it for some stupid, like Twitter is going to go nuts.

They're going to make it a weird race thing, even though it's just about like, it's just about Sackboy.

It has nothing to do with anything.

But you know, the video essays are going to be focused on that.

And that's going to be a shame for this movie that definitely is going to exist.

And it's not just something we're making up.

That it has a really sad, unsatisfying, kind of, not really deep, I don't want to call it deep, but deep-ish ending.

And you have Stephen Fry narrating, and it goes nowhere, because everyone makes it into a weird Twitter culture war type of discourse.

I love that, and then having the sequel just be this illumination, like sink down edge.

Shrink to HBO.

Which will only make the Twitter comments even worse, actually.

The first movie will be directed by some art house film director, and the second movie will be illumination just directed by Paul Giamatti, it doesn't matter, it's just flavorless trash.

But then the director of the Little Big Planet movie will go on to make this other art house film which technically does everything better, but no one watches it.

It never gets off the...

Right, true.

It plays in like one theater at a special showing.

The worst part would be, this would be the start of the PlayStation cinematic universe also.

Like Sackboy is where it was supposed to start, and because of the bad Twitter response, it immediately goes downhill because those in the C-suite at Sony are like, well it didn't, people are angry and talking about it but not in the good way, so we're gonna cancel it all.

You would think so, but they started a whole universe with Venom and they're still going with it.

Yeah, but that's a different part of Sony that actively doesn't care.

It's starting to feel really possible.

Yeah, well and that's why I mentioned the Sackboy thing, because you know that's where it becomes realistic.

Like everything else is like, okay, it's us shooting the shit.

But then then you get to people exploring bad faith takes on Sackboy's race and that's where all the video essays are going to go.

I have one that I have just a bit that I would like to propose based on this one.

So, it's Overwatch with a single camera laugh track sitcom and my idea is that Winston is in his living room, Winston is in his living room in his apartment in New York City that he clearly is that it clearly is like too expensive, but he affords it anyway.

And he is playing Overwatch.

This is a world where the Overwatch characters exist in a world where they can play Overwatch and he's playing Overwatch and he's like, and he's like, I think I'll play Tracer.

And then Tracer comes in Kramer style through the front door and goes, I'm already Tracer.

And that's the and that's the whole and then there's just a laugh track.

That's the bit.

That's the whole bit.

But I was hoping you were going to say like, I'm going to play Tracer.

And they like looks over to like a picture of Tracer and like there's her ashen.

She says, but you already Tracer and like a tear drops and then just laugh tracks.

Oh, this is just the plot of one of those Sonic fan fictions we read for 100 percent.

Like that all happened in that one final rapid fire out.

If we have any other rapid fires we want to throw out before the end of this wonderful edition of the Crubcast, we'll all do a little roundtable here.

Ape Escape.

As a Vince Gilligan TV show.

That's one I got.

Okay, so first off, we get like an exorbitant amount of shots of the lab every time they're in it.

Like, from angles that don't have any characters.

There's a lab bottle episode.

There's 100% a lab bottle episode.

And they film it from the perspective of inside the siren on the top of their hat.

Now, who do you think they're going to follow the entire series?

They're following Spike.

And I think, well, no, actually, no, they're following Spectre.

That's where I was like, yeah, they're following Spectre.

Because Spectre builds over the course.

He starts as like the nice little monkey in the zoo.

And then he gets the hat and he starts turning evil over time and corrupting because that's a classic Vince Gilligan thing.

They're going to do one for one the line from from Mike Erman Trout, where it's just you had to go and blow it up.

And it's about the time station instead of instead of all of the meth.

Yeah.

Rhea Seahorn will be in it.

Yes.

Yep.

She will be in it.

This is the Apple show that they're actually working on currently.

Like, don't tell anybody.

But the Apple the Apple Vince Gilligan show starring Ray Seahorn, that's this.

She's she's Spectre.

She's Spectre.

Sean, do you have one you want to throw out for a quick one, two punch?

Yeah, just because it was funny and it popped up NBA 2K as a Michael Bay film.

I just like the idea of LeBron dunking one final time.

And as he dunks, he looks into the crowd and sees everyone that he's ever loved.

And like, I did this for you.

And then just an explosion happens to be continued.

I feel like that's like a whole.

I feel like Ultimate Team is kind of just that already, because you have like I have all modifier silver surfer Trey Young.

Like, right.

Like it's a jam with cheat codes on.

Here's the thing, right?

Yeah, actually, I can't I can't help but feel like there would be some element of.

Well, I mean, honestly, Michael Bay would just rehash like the space jam storyline and make LeBron have to fight aliens that are like Kaiju's, and he turned LeBron into a Kaiju, at which point LeBron would throw explosive basketballs into the basketball hoop shaped Kaiju that he's fighting.

I think my favorite part about all of this idea is knowing that they used to actually get the basketball players to do lines for the 2K games, and they were some of the worst voice acting you will ever hear.

It was notoriously bad, and it makes sense, they're not voice actors, they're basketball players.

But the voice director didn't even try to get them to put enthusiasm into anything.

It's amazing, if you can look up clips of 2K bad voices, it's really funny.

Brody, do you have one you want to throw out?

Yeah, I do.

I got Death Stranding as a mockumentary.

Think The Office, Parks and Rec, Cuts to the Talking Heads, is more or less a comedy, but within the Death Stranding universe.

Okay, so multiple thoughts come to mind first.

Talking Head cut to Hartman, but he's dead.

It's during the 3 minutes of every 24 minute cycle where he is not alive.

It's like right after someone like says something about it.

They're like, it's like Sam.

It's like the intro episode and it's Sam being like, yeah, I don't know what's up with that guy.

It just like cuts to him and he's just.

For the viewers, honestly, it might even just be like it might be like Mama's sister, who's also still the same person that they don't know.

I don't care, but it's Mama's sister who's the same actress.

They just put her back in after they they killed Mama off.

It's her saying, yeah, Hartman didn't text me back.

I don't know why.

Hopefully everything's OK.

And then it's just.

Just yeah.

I just want like one one moment where Sam like comes up to the, comes up to the camera, he's like, look, I'm going to be honest.

I don't even like monster.

He like pulls it off and just like Fiji water inside.

Or they blur monster the entire movie.

Yeah.

Like, it's still monster cans, but it's blurred.

I really want, I want the shower scene.

Yeah.

With, with Deadman and Sam.

But Sam gyms the camera as it's happening.

So he's got Guillermo del Toro just in his face and he's just awkwardly looking into the camera while he's being whispered sweet nothings at.

Now, now here's my question.

Do you, okay.

So Hideo Kojima is always going to be involved.

Is he in on the bit or do you think this is 100% serious?

Oh, Kojima's got to be a character in the show.

He will be for sure.

Yes.

Like a major character, like more than he was in the game.

If that makes sense.

What I'm saying is, does he take it like, like he doesn't see it as a mockumentary.

He takes it like too serious.

Like this is an actual, like this is my shining moment.

I assume this is directed and showrun by Conan.

Yes.

I was going to suggest Conan as well.

Because then Kojima would agree to it.

It would track.

It would make sense.

And Kojima would be very funny if he didn't know it was a sitcom, to Sean's point.

But he continues just speaking in Japanese and they just subtitle it.

And so every time they do his talking head, he just says something really dire in Japanese.

And it's just like a really like a smash cut to whatever that's just that's just is it Toshi from American Dad?

Yes.

It's just him.

Exactly.

You just described that character.

Exactly.

It's just I want you all to die.

Thanks, Toshi.

Is that what his name is?

Yeah, Toshi.

OK.

OK.

I haven't watched that in a long time.

Great job.

I'm picturing a scene where I'm just picturing a scene where Troy Baker as Higgs is.

It's an episode where he's trying to show up Sam as a delivery guy, because he's just the kind of guy that would try to do that in one of the episodes.

Are they delivering pizza the whole time?

Is this?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's he's it's the it's the Higgs pizza delivery episode.

He's like, I can do this way faster than than Sam.

And he gets on to like one of the one of the zip lines and it's an extra wide.

It starts off as like a medium shot of him on the zip line and zooms out to an extra wide angle shot with like a little bit of camera wobble as he goes all the way down the zip line and then right at the end just fumbles and falls down a cliff like very extended amount of time.

So two thoughts.

One, can we take that and it's not an extra wide shot.

They do the Wandavision where they change the perspective.

So it becomes a twenty one nine film for just like like it doesn't become a wider shot.

They don't zoom out.

They change the lens.

Yeah.

And two, thinking of like Higgs launching himself out of a cannon makes me think of those old Ratchet and Clank PS2 commercials.

Yeah.

And I love the idea of a Death Stranding doing one of those.

That's all I have.

Nothing.

I have nothing beyond that.

Yeah, no, I agree.

All right, Nicco.

Yes.

What's your one more on my throat?

OK, so I have The Sims as a superhero movie in the MCU.

That might be happening.

Like, it's obviously not in the MCU, but there is a Sims movie being made.

OK, OK, but here's the thing.

I thought the idea was so hold on.

Right.

If I were to make a The Sims movie, I'd make it exactly like the Barbie movie and call it a day.

It'd be perfect.

I think that's what I would make a Sims movie in the MCU.

I think that's hilarious because it would be a subversion of the normal superhero movies.

We'd almost have to make superhero ism like the norm.

And like, because every individual character in The Sims is so unremarkable, yet every character in the MCU is meant to be this big, grandiose player, no matter how tiny they may be.

Looking at you, Hawkeye.

You know, they play them off as like the biggest things in the world.

And so I think this juxtaposition of everyone in The Sims being kind of a nobody, but perhaps maybe still having like powers in the way that MCU superheroes do, maybe they're like lower tier.

I just shifted that up now.

So instead of super instead of powers being commonplace, these are just the really low tier superheroes.

And like they don't know one on the national level knows them.

That's just a Harvey Bergman at a point.

Yeah.

What I'm thinking is like there's one character that like someone's doing like cheat codes actually in the game.

Like someone's playing the game and like it's like, why do I have all this money?

And like they suddenly like have a gun that, you know, isn't supposed to be in The Sims at all.

Like what is this?

And they were like destroy people and like they're able to fly around and stuff.

And they have like all these powers.

And there's it's kind of like you're watching a villain happen only for it to be like restarting.

They're like, what just happened?

And then they like close out of the game and you look over and you see that it was Bruce Banner playing The Sims and then he gets up to go talk to Iron Man.

But you actually said it perfectly, Sean, because I I was already going to say, like, if you have a MCU or a superhero like Sims movie, it's just it's Hugh Jackman rearranging the furniture in the X mansion for like an hour and a half.

But what it actually is, because Sean, what you said, put it all together, it's Professor X controlling everyone else, rearranging the furniture in the X mansion.

So I actually I like that idea because then Wolverine also doesn't have control of his claws.

So he starts stabbing through the upholstery constantly just because just because Professor X is deciding to be being a dick.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just like, screw you.

Or it could be a villain.

I'm doing make making a hard left turn here.

A villain named Cheat Code, who has the power of a player of The Sims, but to people in like their real world.

That's just that's the plot of the PSP game.

That's just the plot of the PSP game.

I think that's also the plot of Jessica Jones.

Yeah, there's there's actual characters that can do stuff like that.

Although you did make me as I talked about this, I was like, you know what?

They should make The Sims movie that like they're coming out with.

They should make that into like a horror movie or like just like the one that Margaret is making, like they should make it a horror movie where like people just getting dropped in the pools and they can't get out.

There's that's probably going to be part of the way that it goes.

Again, I'm assuming they're probably just going to take similar vibes to the PSP game because it touches on a lot of the agency of players and people are evil and all that.

And speaking of video games where people are evil, we're going to jump over to our Crubscriber question of the week.

Once again, anyone who's a member of the Crubscribers either on Patreon, Twitch or YouTube can ask us questions via our little Crubscriber Google form.

And we answer them live on air.

And you can do that for as little as $2 a month at patreon.com/crub, if you would like to.

That's the equivalent of throwing a quarter at Brody, which we do anyway.

We only pay him in quarters.

So he has a lot of bruises.

He didn't tell us he was a hemophiliac.

They absorb into my skin.

Yeah.

He's a lot like SpongeBob in that way.

Brody didn't tell us he was a hemophiliac when we started throwing quarters at him, but we can't stop now.

They fill my pores.

That's a sentence that I don't like.

The question is fittingly from Brody, because Brody is one of our CribScribers, so he's allowed to ask questions, and he had a good one, which was, if your life was a video game, what would the title be, and what would the main quest be?

In the sense of, pick an already existing game title, don't just make something up.

Okay.

Sean, do you want to go first?

No.

I need to look up the title of it.

Pick an existing game title.

If your life was a video game that currently exists, what, which game would it be?

Oh, that's a lot harder.

It was in the notes that I gave you.

I didn't change that.

I wrote it.

You did not.

It's verbatim right there.

It's a lot harder.

I feel like I mean, maybe not.

Maybe it's Rock Band, perhaps.

Guitar Hero 3.

I'd fight the devil, except it'd be a drum battle.

Yeah, Guitar Hero 3 for me.

Brody, you probably have one, because this was your question.

I didn't.

I did not at all.

I'm going to go with TAC and the Power of Juju, because, you know, life's magical.

I hate everything that you just said.

And I really I can befriend animals and I.

Okay, man, off to a banger start.

So I have mine.

I just had to find the actual name of it.

And I'll use the full name and I'll explain why.

Rough trigger.

The Vanquishers conspiracy.

Yes.

And here's why.

Because when I saw this question, I remember that image of me with like the.

The firework like between my legs just shooting off and I thought of that being my rough trigger.

And so the main quest would be to power that to the point where I can now shoot like ten off without it doing any damage to me.

So that would be the entire.

Now there's a conspiracy to stop me.

Obviously, that's why the that's why the second part of the title is there.

But I will not let that happen.

I think you'd be I think you'd be Sea Man.

You probably would be Sea Man.

Yeah.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Sean Mann, if you will.

Yeah, you could be Sean without that.

Yeah.

Gosh.

Kevin, what's yours?

Blood born.

Because you were born and have blood?

No, because he eats growing.

Do you eat umbilical cords?

Are there eyes growing in your brain?

What happens when I don't eat a lot of fiber?

Oh, true, true, true, true, true.

It hurts.

Yeah, you should stop eating fiber.

You should get that checked out, dude.

The only fiber I eat is the bark of trees.

Yeah, don't do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, that's good fiber.

That's good fiber.

Everything hurts.

Don't Google that.

Don't Google what?

Eating wood?

Yeah, eating tree bark for good fiber.

It all...

Everything's bad.

Thank you for watching, everybody.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, thanks for watching.

He said Rock Band.

He did say Rock Band, I said the main quest would be beating the devil in a drum battle.

Sean's probably Kingdom Hearts.

You know, I'm looking through this, and I feel like the...

He hasn't finished his life yet.

It's true.

So it'd be fitting if his...

if the story of his life was Kingdom Hearts.

Yeah.

I have two.

I have two.

One is The Evil Within, and I'm not gonna elaborate, and the other one is Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, because I am.

Right.

I would have thought yours would have been Peggle.