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The podcast for high-level leaders carrying the invisible weight of the world.
If you’re a founder, executive, or high-ranking leader, you already know this truth: the higher you rise, the fewer people you can safely talk to.
Lonely at the Top is a sanctuary in the storm—a space where the emotional cost of leadership is named, and where relief, clarity, and grounded support are always on the table.
Hosted by Soul Medic and former psychotherapist Rachel Alexandria, this podcast dives into the unspoken realities of high-level decision-making: the pressure, the isolation, the doubt, and the fatigue. Each episode offers insight, emotional tools, and conversations with seasoned leaders who’ve learned to navigate the weight of responsibility without losing themselves.
📍 I took a sabbatical.
and
it was terrifying. I was getting really antsy and I realized that I was not in chaos. And so I bought a property to put myself in chaos.
Legitimately. I was realizing my life was smooth for a minute and I didn't know how to deal with that. And I bought this property. That was a really bad investment and I lost a lot of money.
It was all because I didn't know how to
be calm.
📍 📍 Welcome to Lonely At the Top, a podcast for high level leaders carrying the invisible weight of the world. Because you know the higher you rise, the fewer people you can safely talk to. Here we welcome founders, executives, and decision makers who feel the isolation and pressure that comes with power.
Lonely At the Top is your sanctuary in the storm, and I'm your host soul medic and former psychotherapist, Rachel Alexandria. Today is my friend Lauren Goche, she's a principal real estate broker and the team lead
of Team Goche. She sells houses, renovates old ones, and moonlights as a professional chaos wrangler. She's been described as part therapist, part hype squad and part witch with wifi, helping people navigate big transitions with humor, heart, and the occasional snack. At the center of everything she believes housing isn't just about walls and roofs.
It's about equity, belonging, and making sure everyone gets a seat at the block party. I am so happy to have you here, Lauren.
This is so exciting. It's so good to see your face. Also, your intro about your podcast gave me goosebumps.
Well, thank you.
Yeah. I was
Thank you so much.
oh, it's so good. It's so, it's so good. It's so right.
I was, sharing with my sugarist that I saw earlier today. For people who might not know a sugarist is somebody who uses sugar instead of wax to remove the hairs you don't want on your body. And I am in perimenopause and I am growing hairs I don't want .
So, she was asking and I was like, well, we met at a conference, more than 10 years ago. and it was actually a pre-party that you sneaked into. 'cause you weren't actually going to the conference. You just crashed the pre-party. And she was just the coolest person .
Immediately I was like, I wanna be your friend. I wanna hang out with you.
That's right. We did. Yeah,
I have a picture from that time. Lauren is a person who stands out. Those of you who will listen to this podcast and who are watching it live, when I finally post the videos, she just has that kind of energy. She's just the kind of person you want on your side and a kind of person you can't forget.
So I'm excited to have you on the show. You're welcome.
what made you wanna come on the show?
We've always liked talking to each other. You've done some coaching for me. You are just a delightful human being with incredible insight. It's interesting because I think I'm gonna come at this podcast a little bit different because I actually do have a lot of contemporaries that I get to talk to, I am like not lonely at the top.
I have really, created an ecosystem of incredible women that I get to run ideas across and commiserate with and bitch and moan and, and all this stuff. 'Cause I know this about.
Leadership.
being an entrepreneur and leadership. And so I think I knew that really early on and it was modeled to me to collaborate and to reach out and really , I think that's just who I am.
And so I've leaned into that really hard and I'm like, try to make as many friends with people, mostly women, to be honest, you know, that I can relate to. A ton of realtors, a ton of business owners through everything.
I'll have to say I don't know very many people with nine to five jobs.
Yeah,
Like truly, I, I'm not
sure.
I, I know them. I'm not close to people with nine to five jobs.
So I think that it is interesting because I'm coming at it with like, oh, it is not lonely at my top, but I know that it is for a lot of people and a lot of women at the top.
So you, you just said, okay, I know I'm gonna be in an experience of being in some isolation, and so I'm going to deliberately create my community as I go. That's what I'm hearing you say.
Yeah. I think that I've always been like a baby community builder, and then this last decade of my life I have seen, what community building does in general. And then I've really leaned into it. And so one of the communities I build is fellow business owners, fellow entrepreneurs. I was always kind of, leaning that way anyways. And then honestly, politically really motivated me. I started hosting postcard, writing parties to write postcards to people in swing states and I started just organizing like that and then realized that community building in general was something I both am good at and I enjoy .
Nice. Everyone on this podcast has different experiences with the emotional burdens of leadership and even if yours isn't loneliness, because you deliberately did things to combat that. So I have a story I'm telling in my head, which is what we do about people, right? Like all the time we're always making up stories about each other.
The story I told in my head when we talked about you doing this podcast is that I have seen you become a fairly significant social media presence. there's that experience a lot of people have when they're content creators of the parasocial relationships. More people know you than you know of the people who follow you.
that we can talk about forever because that is a mind fuck
Yeah.
and not something I set out to do. And I've had some wild interactions having to be careful of like not posting my address. Things that I never
yeah.
thought I'd have to think about.
Like I, um, years ago at my old house, ' I don't know, anything. Chill. You know? I
You really don't.
colors. I just don't. like, I have zero chill. I am bright, I paint bright colors that are very recognizable. And I remember I was sitting on the front porch of my old house because I loved that front porch and someone was driving by and they rolled down their window and they're like, oh my God, you're Lauren Goche.
I recognized your house from Instagram and
Mm-hmm.
wildly violated. They weren't trying to do that. They're like, oh my God, it's so great to see you, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh yeah, totally. And then they moved on and I had nightmares. I had nightmares for weeks
Oh.
where people know where I live and like I'm a single woman living by myself.
And it just really freaked me out. And so after that, then I was like, now I have to be careful about things that I never thought to be careful about, like, I don't know who's, who's paying attention to me. And it turns out a lot.
Mm-hmm.
so things like that where it is weirdly isolating and I've had some really weird
you've had some really weird interactions with
with just people. I, I had this one, God, I had this one.
I.
Oh, I was sitting at lunch with a bunch of real estate girlfriends and we were just like at a restaurant and this woman comes up to me and she's like, oh my God, are you Lauren Goche? And I was like, yeah. Let me backtrack. It's complicated because I get, uh, about a quarter of my business from Instagram
Mm-hmm.
I love my business from Instagram.
They are self vetted already. They are aligned. They are good people. The business I get from Instagram are amazing, so I don't wanna discourage that.
Mm-hmm.
That said, so I'm sitting there having lunch. This woman's like, oh my God, I follow you. I'm super obsessed. I was like, oh,
what's your name? Nice to meet you. And this woman was like, oh my God, can I get a selfie? And she was , very excited and overwhelmed and intense and fangirling, which was a compliment. And she sat next to me on the bench
I was on real quick and took a selfie and was like, I'm so sorry to interrupt. Like, I'm overwhelmed. I'll leave you be, and like took off. And everybody at my table was like, that was intense. And I was like, yeah, wait, where's my phone?
Huh? Did she steal your phone?
Totally on accident. Because it was sitting on the bench where she was. So I had a friend call my phone and she came running back. She like actually kind of threw it at me and ran away. But it was intense, you know?
And I was like.
So
Yeah.
I've been like interrupted on dates which is weird, but also I've met some of my most close friends through Instagram. So it's, complicated, and people really think they know you
Mm-hmm.
about their own personal lives.
And I'm like, who are you? It is very weird and can be very isolating. In a very weird way, so,
See, this is why I wanted to talk to you. 'cause I was like, I know she's in a place with her leadership specifically on social media.
Often when I'm on the podcast, I'm talking to people in completely different industries than me, and I've been employed by my own company, by myself for like 20 years.
So
Yeah.
I don't know anything about structures of so many industries, so I'm always kind of being like, you know, I don't know what my listeners know, so let's just back it up. When you're in real estate do you work for a brokerage? Like, people are independent contractors, but you have a team.
Tell us where did you start and then what is it like now?
so how it is mostly is there's a brokerage and that's an umbrella, a big umbrella, of liability and your errors and omissions insurance and all this stuff. And then I have a little umbrella of my team under that bigger umbrella. And that's pretty much always how it's been.
There's brokerage owners where they
are
real estate agents and brokers and they own their own company. I've thought about it here and there and every time I'm like, because I'm under this big umbrella there's like 30 other agents at Think Real Estate
the owner, Hope Baraka is a friend of mine and she's very picky about who she brings on to be an agent and a broker at Think. And so it's just like this, creme de la creme of incredible agents and incredible teams. And so every time I thought about starting my own, I'm like, why? It's more headache and it's more lonely .
I get to
Mm-hmm.
collaborate and learn from these amazing people. I started at like one agency and I was just like a baby, a little baby agent
Hmm I remember.
Um, at a really small, God, the conference we met at was the deciding factor if I decided to go into real estate or get my old job back. It
Wow.
So you really met me in like a very, very specific time because I had gotten a job offer from my old job that I hated, but I was like desperate, unemployed, living somewhere for free, like. It was not good. And they offered me this job that had benefits and was gonna gimme a car and a computer and
Wow.
You know, all this stuff. But the dread, I felt my body. And then I went to
Hm.
the conference and I was like. am I doing? And then a friend of mine that owned the original brokerage was like, I've been saying you need to be a realtor. What the fuck is your problem? Get your shit together and just do it. And that weekend of seeing all these incredible entrepreneurs made me decide I don't want to work
Hmm.
for a big corporation again. That was miserable. It was, the most miserable I ever was. And so. Anyways, so I was just this little baby broker
Yeah.
and in a really small company, and then the woman who owned that company decided she didn't want anybody under her anymore, so she dissolved.
Mm-hmm.
went to a different brokerage and they were really nice, but I was less than five years in and , I felt like a big fish in a small pond. And I was like,
Mm.
still have so much to learn, so much to learn. I need to be the person learning, not teaching.
Mm-hmm.
how I ended up at the final boss of Think Real Estate.
It's, it's just, it's filled with such incredibly talented agents that I basically was like, uh, well, that's where I'm gonna learn and become so much better because of who I'm around now.
Hmm
that said, I also am an independent contractor within that,
mm-hmm.
that's how
And then Team Goche, are there people under you or is that more like helpers or something?
So I have, a buyer's agent. I am desperately looking for an ops manager. And then we have a transaction coordinator. So yeah, I have my own little team and we chug along. I was just getting spread too thin and, not doing the best for my people. And so I needed help. And I got
help
Hmm.
Maria Ta as my buyer's agent, and she is the literal best.
She's my baby angel. I love her so much. Uh, I got her, freshly licensed, never done any real estate in her life. And
Wow.
let me mold you.
I shall shape you into the exact thing I need. Ha ha.
And she fucking, she's so good. She's just, she's incredible. I feel so lucky and proud at the same time, and
Nice.
an ops manager now to wrangle my own chaos because I'm a big ideas person
Mm-hmm.
is always like, here's an idea, here's an idea, like, make it work.
And I never have time to make my ideas work.
Mm. Mm-hmm. Visionaries need people who are the good daily, stable. Like, I'm gonna keep executing on your project thing. Yeah, I get it. I have for a long time, had to be both of those for myself and have been only moderately successful because I really should be one and not the other.
Yeah.
Okay, so you are kind of in the middle, right? You are an independent contractor, but someone is kind of running a bigger show above you,
But the person that's running the big show above me really, I kind of am completely working independently and then honestly
right.
They're there for making sure I'm compliant with laws. Which I'm already good at you know, honestly, I kind of run really independently and making sure I'm compliant, I already have someone to make sure my paperwork is good, and then we have another person to make sure that paperwork is good
Mm-hmm.
'cause one of the things that I'm obsessed with and my brokerage is obsessed with is quality and really tight everything. Tight contracts cross your t's, dot your i's
Mm-hmm.
really, really, really on top of the details. Because there's a lot of shitty realtors out there, unfortunately.
And you know, honestly, if I wanna do business planning, I go to Hope and run ideas by her and stuff like that, she's good at imagining and problem solving, but
Yeah.
not really telling me what to do and when, or how 'cause everybody's an independent contractor for the most part.
Yeah. It sounds like, running a therapy clinic with independent. Yeah. Or running a hair salon. And so you know, stylists have their own chair and they're paying rent and yeah.
you have like the, the standards of practice that you have to agree to be at this one place And then as long as you're doing those standards of practice, do whatever the hell you want within those parameters, kind of. Yeah.
So, yeah, you've been on your own and then you're also some other people's boss and you are a public figure.
I, I jokingly, but not jokingly, like a micro influencer. Although I did get recognized in Seattle and I was like, oh fuck,
Yeah, you're a public figure, babe. I don't know what your Instagram count is, but people,
It's,
get embarrassed and excited to see you and then run off with your phone because they're so overwhelmed. Yeah. I, I think that qualifies. So
Yeah.
let's talk then, from this position that you're in, let's talk about a leadership decision or a season that has really tested you.
Can you kind of narrow that down a little bit? Because I feel like I'm constantly being tested.
You're like, when was I not, Rachel? Look for the blank space here. Is there something that you feel like really shaped you into being a better leader because of a mess you made? Or, she's laughing for those who can't, who aren't watching the video.
yeah, I mean, I think that my leadership is extremely kind of golden rule, I wanna be the leader that I wish I have, or I have had.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't know if this answers your question, but , I really am like, how would I want to be led?
What example would that be? And you know, as I'm hiring for this, operations manager and one of the major things that I'm talking about with candidates is the basis of our team is care. Care for each other, first and foremost, to be
honest
Mm-hmm.
then care for our clients, which I know might seem backwards, but, if we don't care for each other, we can't care for our clients. And so really putting care for each other first makes us not burned out. And it's everything from like, have you eaten? Yes. What did
you
eat?
Mm-hmm.
I'd laugh Maria, we were gonna go on this long tour of like hours and hours and hours and I was like, Hey, I have a little time.
I'm gonna go grab us like a, a sandwich and a coffee. And she was like, I just ate a granola bar or a protein shake or some shit like that. And I was like,
Mm
not enough food. She's like, I had a banana and yogurt earlier and I was like, that's
mm.
food for a human being. And I was like, I am not waiting for your consent.
You will be eating, I am bringing you food. And she was like, we have this ongoing joke, 'cause she's an independent contractor too to me. And she has this ongoing joke where she's like, oh, I'm just adding it to the lawsuit. And she was like, I'm adding this to the lawsuit.
And I was like, screenshot it, bitch. I'm still feeding you. So she gets in the car and I hand her a sandwich and she like inhaled it. And she was like, yeah, that was probably right. And I was like. We have to, care for ourselves. We have to care for each other. You know, our health is paramount.
If you have cramps, you're not feeling well, stay the fuck home. We got each other
Yeah.
So you learned this through a lot of experiences to the contrary, right? 'Cause as a real estate broker,
You are responsible for one of the biggest transactions in people's lives. You have to have it all together. I mean, that's the whole point of
It's
that's what, that's what leadership is, is sitting with that pressure.
Yeah,
And so I hear you saying that one of the things you've learned, I'm assuming through having made mistakes in this regard, is having to put your care first and foremost.
yeah. It's interesting because before I had a team, I was out there sick. I remember it was like right after a surgery and I could only put slippers on and I met clients and I shouldn't have been driving and ,
Girl. I remember I've been watching your Instagrams for years. I know. 'cause you would tell on yourself.
I totally would tell myself because I am such an,
I am an open book to a degree. People think that I'm all out there on the internet and I actually, you and I just talked about the things that I keep to myself, and it's actually a fair amount
Mm-hmm. That was off the record folks. You can't hear about that part.
but, you know, doing stuff that was not healthy.
Mm-hmm.
Once I had someone on my team that tried
Hmm,
to do those same things and I was like, that is not okay. and she was like, but you do it. And I'm like, oh, no.
I have to clean up my stuff first.
Yeah. So it was very much like, okay, well if I wouldn't want someone else to do this, I can't do it.
And vice versa. If I wouldn't want myself to do it, I can't let someone else do that. The older I get, and honestly, the busier I get and the more healed I get because I've really been healing my nervous system is like boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Mm-hmm.
Boundaries like making sure my teammate has boundaries with me, despite me telling like, uh, you're gonna eat whether you like it or not, just force feeding you. Um, but you know, like you can say no to me, say no.
Mm-hmm.
Fucking say no. It's okay.
Yeah.
something that I am like, no, you really have to be there.
I will let you know. But for the most part it's okay. And then saying no to clients and not working at 10 o'clock at night. Being a leader that I hoped would've led me, or I should have led myself to be honest. But it's hard when you're in the building stage and you're in the building stage for, so, you know,
Yeah, I do.
switch
Mm-hmm.
out of that building stage into stability, to stable and steady is such a mindfuck.
Especially if you're a hustler, which you are, you absolutely are. And by the way, a lot of people with childhood trauma are. Then it's hard to get into the stable place because it feels very unfamiliar and scary.
Well, let
I see you listeners. I know
no, it's all of us. I'm laughing that I'm like, oh, but it makes us funny.
some of you.
the people. I mean, I'm hilarious because of my childhood trauma. I actually have, a friend, who, like a pseudo niece, literally in my basement going through and getting rid of all the shit I've hoarded because of the hoarding that I do, because I think I'm never gonna be safe.
And now I'm like, nope that's ,
Mm
not true. You will still have clients. If you don't go, go, go, go, the world isn't gonna crash. You know, I think I've told the story a little bit, I don't know if you saw, I shared that I had a Mexico property that was a horrible investment and I sold it.
Mm-hmm.
Let me go back to why I bought it.
Hmm.
2021 in real estate was, it was such a fire hose of business,
Yeah.
which is great financially, horrible for our mental health.
I was losing my shit.
Hmm.
So I had a business coach and she was like, you have to take a sabbatical or you're gonna make yourself sick. You also need to build a team. She talked me into both. I'm very grateful
Good. Good for her.
I
Oh, that's what I wanted to comment by the way that I learned a term from you and you were just exhibiting it a moment ago. When you're talking about your person who works with you or works for you, a long time ago, Lauren and I spent a little bit of time together and you told me that people call you a love bully, and I have used that expression with so many clients because that's, I don't do it exactly the way you do it, but I do do some of that
The understanding that I'm gonna push you because for whatever reason, you're the kind of person who feels like you can't rely on people, who's felt like it's not safe to ask for what you really need, or who always puts your needs last.
And so you need somebody to be like, no bitch, have a sandwich. But you can also tell me no when it's, when you, you're gonna figure it out your own way. Yeah.
yeah.
Anyway, I wanted to call that out because I, I love that.
Love bully. I didn't, I didn't make that up. PS my friend Kat made that up. So shout out to Kat,
Shout out to Kat. Rrrar.
Fellow, love bully. As an example of that, I send grief pizza
Mm.
When there's loss.
When there's a loss, just send food. Yeah.
But specifically pizza,
Mm-hmm.
it is low effort. You can leave it on the fucking counter. You don't have to have silverware,
Mm-hmm.
have plates. It doesn't matter. And every single time I text someone that I know has had a loss, I'm like, I'm gonna send you pizza. And they're like, I can't eat. No thank you. And I'm like, this is not an option. It was coming to your house in an hour. If you don't eat it, it's not that big of a deal. A hundred percent of the time
Right? Mm-hmm.
I didn't think I could eat. Thank you so much. My body needed fuel. I was like, how
Mm-hmm.
your tears? If not for grief
Right. You need electrolytes, man, salt. Yeah, I knew somebody. There's also a great service called Spoonful of Comfort. It is pricier, but it is a, very nice, comforting package and you can pick soups and cookies and a blanket and send it to somebody when they've, it's,
Yeah. It's good shit,
yeah,
also you have to heat that up and you have to have forks and spoons.
Grief pizza is specifically day of or day after.
Sure.
when you're in it,
Yeah.
I can't breathe. Grief.
Yeah.
Okay.
I love bully people. 'cause I think like, they're like, no. And I'm like, I am all about consent, except for not right now.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
come, come back to the not feeling safe, instability.
Yeah. Go for it.
my, my investment property really quickly. So it was 2021.
Every realtor I know was burned out in 2021. I was like, I'm, gonna make myself sick, so I took a sabbatical. I went back to Sayulita because I lived there a decade before,
Mm-hmm.
this is a place that I have friends in and I I don't have to navigate a bunch of stuff. My brain can settle.
So
my brain started settling
and
it was terrifying. Now only with hindsight. I didn't see it at the time, I was getting really antsy and I realized that I was not in chaos. And so I bought a property to put myself in chaos.
Yeah,
Legitimately, was a really expensive
sure. Mm-hmm.
mistake. I was realizing my life was smooth for a minute and I didn't know how to deal with that, like truly. And I bought this property. That was a really bad investment and I lost a lot of money.
It was all because I didn't know how to
To deal with that discomfort. Mm-hmm.
be calm
mm-hmm.
And since then, I've sold it at great loss and I have done a lot of work and my life is seeking calm for the most part. You know, my friendships are calm, all relationships, you know, I don't have a lot of friction and
Nice.
friction.
I. I, I move away from
You've been weeding that out
I have
been
and so that, that is the answer to my question. What is a leadership season or decision that tested you? And it was really about, you know, your self, leadership in that instance. But
Yeah.
you know, honestly, congratulations for learning this lesson in a way that was dramatic enough that you got it, but ultimately not self-harmful.
You know what, one of the things that, helped me get through the really bad investment was the fact that I've grown up poor, I've been poor most of my life. not just poor, housing in unstable,
Mm-hmm.
moved a ton of times. I mean, I, I deeply believe in housing stability. I believe housing
Mm-hmm.
is a right. So something that really comforted me was the fact that I am financially stable enough to lose money at that scale, and it wouldn't bankrupt me. It sucked
Yeah.
It really affected my life, but it didn't make me houseless.
I mean, it delayed my retirement by a decade or two, but it didn't really, yeah. But it really didn't affect my day to day in a way that another time in my life it would've, and that was something I, I really leaned into as a consolation prize.
I mean, it's meaningful, right? Like it's a, it's a demonstration to that inner child who, never felt safe with money to say, oh, even if I fuck up on a major scale, I've done enough work to create enough stability,
yeah,
know? That's a weird metaphor I'm getting, but if anybody's seen the Avengers, the movie, the Avengers, and they have this flying battleship and it's like a huge cargo ship flying in the air, which is insane.
And one of the engines gets taken out and they can still fly.
yeah.
And you'd think, oh no, we're gonna plummet. But no, we've built this with so much stability that we can have a catastrophic failure and still not have ultimate tragedy.
Yeah.
Okay. So. Well, yeah, I, again, I love that for you and honestly, I don't know how much you've been able to listen to the show, but regular listeners will hear that as a theme. A lot of the folks that I've had on who are wildly successful now, and I would put you in this category, came from things like money instability.
And it's part of what's driven you guys to be visionaries, innovators, creators. Like, I have to be the one to take care of this. I have to be the one to create this, you know, enough resources and you know, get my abundance together so that I'm finally okay.
Yeah. It's been, it's really hard work
yeah.
that the mindset from scarcity to abundance is probably one of my bigger lifts in life, to be honest.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah,
You're not alone.
yeah.
So we are moving into the segment of the show where we open the private ledger because people don't ever really see the balance sheet of burdens when they look at leaders. They think leaders have everything all together 'cause they're presenting a smooth, shiny whatever.
And even you, people love a woman who looks like she has it all together, but is being authentic about her messes. And even still, they'll project, oh, she has it all together. Right.
That's so true
So we would love to hear
As an aside, I, I learned a long time ago, share the scars, not the open wounds.
a hundred percent. Yeah. Meaning,
sorry, I interrupted. Yeah.
Meaning don't share stuff that is currently raw.
Yes.
share it when you have integrated it enough for it not to be a mess when you talk about it emotionally. Yeah, a hundred percent.
Okay. So in your private ledger, can you share with us one cost you've paid for being in leadership?
Just one.
Yes, you have to stick to one because we can't be here for three years.
Good God. There's so many.
Well, you can just give me a list and I'll ask you the next one. That's fine too.
I would say my nervous system, my mental health and friendships.
Well just.
I've lost friendships over this.
Yeah. Just that I mean. Okay.
Yeah, all of it.
Yeah.
I mean, we've talked about the nervous system a little bit. We've talked about the mental health a little bit. Do you wanna say anything about the friendships?
Now, not so much but in the beginning when I first started hustling, you know, I had a friend that was like,
I.
your work first. you know, she had, for instance, she was used to me being an unemployed weed trimmer. You know, that could just like willy-nilly do things and like blah, blah, blah.
Yeah,
you know,
you're not available. Mm-hmm. Yeah,
calls on a paddleboard. When we were paddleboarding together. That was actually the last straw for her.
yeah,
and
yeah. People don't want us to change.
Yeah, which is fair. It's hard when you're in relationship with someone, for them to change or for you to change.
It is hard.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
neither of us had the tools to, move through that at the time, you know, to be honest
Yeah. That's sad.
it is sad.
Yeah, and I'm sure everyone listening to this show has at one point or another lost a friend because lives went in a different direction. So I think you get to a certain age and you understand that just sometimes happens and,
I think it happens even more when people are in leadership.
I think it's harder to keep a lot of close friends, except for entrepreneurs I think have an easier time because everybody's busy in the same kind of way.
Like we can fit in a 11 o'clock quick walk together or something like that.
And you're also talking about business because you guys wanna talk about the same topics, so that helps.
don't have
Yeah.
I literally don't have any close friends that have nine to five jobs. Literally not one
Yeah. Okay. Tell us one invisible asset. You didn't realize you had earlier.
I know I've already said this, but I kind of think it's the community building.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't think that that was an asset or essential, and it's good for my business, but it's better for my life, for my heart,
Mm-hmm.
and I really didn't consider that as essential.
And then honestly, fucking Trump getting elected pushed us all into, we gotta build, we gotta connect.
We can't just be these little islands. And I mean, not like I was like that already, but it really
drove
that home
Yeah.
like, no, we really have to. And so a sustainable business requires community, in my opinion
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And that can be an online community. That can be an in-person community. Community can be so many things.
But it's essential for business, for a healthy, sustainable business in my opinion. Yeah.
Okay. One investment you're making now for your wellbeing or your soul.
Well, other than that ops manager position that I'm having a hard time fulfilling, you know what an actual investment I'm doing is I spend a flying fuck ton of money a year and monthly on health and exercise. I am someone who, if I don't have like hardcore accountability, I'm not gonna do it.
, I don't like exercising. I never get that runner's high,
Mm-hmm.
you know? But as we get older we have to have our fucking bone density and we have to have our strength, and we're in perimenopause and our bones are fucking crumbling and we have to strength train, and then I am hypermobile and then I get injured and blah,
You're hypermobile, is that an ADHD thing?
They are comorbidities. I'll
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
uh, there's all kinds of comorbidities that go together
Yep.
hypermobility is definitely one of them for neurodivergence
Yep.
So I strength train in a small class three days a week. I do private Pilates one day a week, and I horseback ride one day a week.
That's
Oh, fun.
five days a week of me paying someone to
Yeah.
if you're not there, you're in trouble. So I just, I like, I like to say I use my codependency to my advantage.
Yeah. I mean, that's the thing, right? Hack the way your brain works for you.
Yeah. And
Awesome.
would say that is something that has been really good for my mental health. I have kept that boundary for work. Those times I very rarely cancel them
Mm-hmm.
or I'm sick.
They are sacred and it's a lot of money. And for a second there I was like feeling guilty about it.
And then I'm like, what else do I spend money on? I literally spend money on that and travel.
Yeah, I'm with you. I spend a lot of money on my health. That is one of my top expenses. I do that more than travel. I do that more than shop clothes. That is the thing I have always spent money on is my health. So I think that's fantastic. Okay.
That's
got two more questions for you.
Yeah,
What do you wish more leaders felt permission to say out loud?
no.
Great. I think that's, that is a complete sentence. Okay. Before we get to the last question, I always like to ask my guests do you want people to be in some way in contact with you if they're interested in what you're talking about, and if so, what avenue should they use to find out more about your work get in touch?
Yeah, Instagram. My handle is my name. Lauren Goche. L-A-U-R-E-N G-O-C-H-E. You know, as much as I talked about concerns about Instagram, it is still a really fulfilling space for me and a place that I love connecting with people on.
You're Portland and that general area specific for real estate, and you've been developing community all over the United States.
actually I even have the world to be
okay. So if you are seeking a realtor. You want somebody that is this high caliber that, has the Goche stamp of approval, then
you wanna reach out to Lauren.
Anywhere in the country, I have incredibly vetted, values aligned, bad asses. This network that I have been diligently, creating and cultivating for over a decade now. There's a lot of shitty realtors out there. Unfortunately, we have a bad rap for a reason, and so it is my joy to connect people with really good ones all over the country.
Okay, this is our last question. If you could go back in time, what would you say to yourself earlier in your career?
God, baby Lauren. I'm a person that doesn't have any regrets or anything. I feel deeply like things work out the way that they work out, and I don't wanna change anything. Even this investment thing, which sounds crazy, like, I don't think I would've learned that lesson unless it was beat over my head like a goddamn anvil
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So,
Maybe you just would've given her a sandwich and said, you need this more than you think a hug.
just feed me and hug me. Oh my God. As an aside, I have a friend who, she was telling me, like three nights ago, she was like, I keep thinking about the concept of time, how it's not linear and all things are happening at once. And she goes, I just keep thinking about. if this is happening now and younger baby me is happening at the same time because it's not linear. Maybe what I thought was a guardian angel was just older me protecting me
Myself. Hmm.
I just, I'm gonna cry like, there's so many things that I should have died or been really bad situation or things could have been so much worse and someone was something, some entity, some energy was looking down on me. And what if it was me?
Well, let's just say it is, and you keep sending that love back in time.
all the sandwiches and hugs.
That is a great place to wrap. Thank you so much for being on the show, my dear. It's been a pleasure.
Oh, it's so good to see you and hear all of your love and successes and, I just, I adore you always have. Always will.
📍 Thanks for listening to Lonely At the Top. If today's conversation resonated, I hope you'll give yourself permission to pause even just for a moment and check in with what you might be carrying silently. You don't have to hold it all alone. I work with high performers and leaders who wanna clean up their secret messes.
You can learn more at RachelAlexandria.com. If you know another leader who needs to hear this show, please send it their way, because, yeah, it's lonely at the top, but it doesn't have to stay that way.