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THE podcast for navigating all things midlife with honesty, humor, and heart
Heidi (00:14)
I'm Heidi Sexton and today on the Evolving Together podcast, the podcast for navigating all things midlife with
Honesty, humor and heart, I am talking to my friend Lianne about something that may seem so trivial but is really huge, and that is our hair and specifically gray hair, because that is a topic that comes up even before midlife is upon us, it gets even more of a topic as we get older because we have more gray hair. But anyway, so thank you, Lianne, for
agreeing to come on and talk about hair, specifically gray hair. It's funny because you're right down the street recording and I'm like, I wish I had my Airstream studio all done because I would like, we could do it face to face. Okay, good, good. Yeah. It's it just seems silly because I was making my coffee and I was looking out the window. I'm like, yep, there's Rigo's house right there.
Lianne (00:46)
Course.
I'll come back again when you do it again and we'll talk about something else.
Heidi (01:04)
by the way, your hair looks great. It always looks great. I love the bangs. I keep thinking about doing bangs, but
Lianne (01:06)
Thanks. Thank you.
I think I'm growing them a little bit. I think I'm gonna do more. They were pretty straight across, and I think I'm gonna do a little more face framing. Thank you.
Heidi (01:16)
Yeah. They look they look so good on you. I but see mine aren't
straight, so when I do bangs they just kinda get weird and wavy and they're gray. Mm.
Lianne (01:25)
It does take some training, you know,
be be a lot of fixing.
Heidi (01:30)
I don't know if I have time for that.
Lianne (01:32)
Mm. It's not it it's really not as bad as it seems. Like you you can just blow dry with a round brush and go.
Heidi (01:38)
I could probably I have the wand that has the air that goes through the brush and I just that's how I do my hair. My hair is so low maintenance. Yours looks effortless, so well
Lianne (01:40)
Yeah. Perfect.
Yeah.
even for
a hairstylist, I kinda just blow and I I hardly ever fix my hair. I throw a curl in it for you today, Heidi. Thanks.
Heidi (01:55)
it's nice. I like it. I love it. I love it. Thank you. All
right.
one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on specifically is because you know a lot about hair. You've been doing this for a while, but you're also getting into midlife yourself, or I guess you are in midlife. You don't look like it, but
Lianne (02:10)
Yes. Yeah. Thank ya. But yeah, definitely
midlife. I'm forty five. That's kind of scary.
Heidi (02:16)
Okay, yeah, you're in it then. Okay.
It's it's we well, I didn't I didn't know I was in midlife until I was I think I was like in my early to mid fifties. I was like, ⁓ crap, I am in my midlife. I didn't it didn't even occur to me before. I don't know why. I just I mean I had
Lianne (02:29)
Mm-hmm.
I feel like I
crept into it like and then I mean you just realize, like you realize when you become the oldest person in the room doing something and then you realize like when people call you ma'am more than not. And I'm fine with that. Like even when I was in my thirties,
Heidi (02:41)
Yeah.
⁓
Lianne (02:51)
it's a southern thing anyway. And so it I don't know, it just never it didn't bother me. I mean, I think the first time when I realized people were doing it then I was like, Yeah, yeah, put a ma'am on it. I earned it.
Heidi (02:53)
Right.
You're like That's right. I know now you want it, right?
so gray hair specifically.
Lianne (03:06)
GRey hair.
Heidi (03:09)
It has a weird texture and I didn't know that. Like when I first started g going gray, it was I was in my twenties and I would have like a few strands hair or there, but it was more than most twenty years twenty year olds. And I didn't really understand how that texture changed my hair and then the color didn't quite take as well. And I there's just so much it's not like regular hair. Like and and I'm o I'm talking about like white people hair. I don't know anything about
Lianne (03:10)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm yeah.
Heidi (03:38)
ethnic hair. So this is obviously my experience and you know the the texture's weird. and it has its life of its own. But I wanna talk about when we do start getting gray, because it does happen. I don't I don't know of anybody that has not gone gray at some point. ⁓
Lianne (03:45)
Yes.
Yeah.
I mean there are so now
I had a I had a client who she's lucky she's in her early sixties and she barely has she has maybe just a little tiny bit hair you know in the hairline and she's barely gray and some everyone's just different, you know. So I started graying in my twenties, ⁓ particularly after my first pregnancy. ⁓ after I had her my hair started graying and then that's when I star I was blonde pretty
Heidi (04:14)
Yeah.
Lianne (04:25)
much my whole life and then started graying and started getting darker in my 20s after and then that's when I started playing then I was like well if I'm gonna be gray in my 20s I'm gonna be at whatever color I want to be like I did everything red blonde black blue you name it like I did it and then when I decided to just go gray it's because I'm was doing hair all day and I was doing everyone else's hair and then every three weeks because mine is predominantly
like hair like mine's not mine's not really anywhere but in this quadrant like in the top quadrant and even my and then some in my bangs but if you pull my bangs back it's even dark or it's even still brown hair so this is not really gray under hair ⁓ but whenever I started seeing my roots in my part every three weeks I was like
Heidi (05:02)
Yeah.
Lianne (05:19)
I don't wanna color my hair every three weeks when I color everyone else's hair. So I would be at home like doing my roots and then Drake would be like touching up the back and like he was I think twelve at the time and I'd be like, just follow the lines, I'll part it. Yeah. He's like, Okay. ⁓ but I was like, you know what? I don't wanna do this anymore. And also too, I did not like how women felt like they couldn't go gray. And so I was like, ⁓ yeah, you can. So I remember ⁓
Heidi (05:31)
Child labor. I'm all for it.
Lianne (05:49)
telling Jean the salon editor that I was like, I'm just gonna grow out my gray. She's like, You can't do that. I said, She's she's like, you do hair. And I was like, ⁓ c correct. Like I can do it. I was like, I and then you know, of course when I started growing out, she's like, my god, it looks so much better than I thought it was gonna look. ⁓ She wasn't a big supporter at first. she was like, what are you gonna do? I think sometimes in any even in the hair world they think
Heidi (06:08)
That's a so she that's interesting. Yeah, you you can't
Lianne (06:17)
If you help someone go gray, you are then eliminating a client. But you're not really eliminating a client. You're helping them get through something that they probably already feel terrible about or not so great about or unsure about, maybe not terrible, but then they're still gonna come. I mean, all my transition clients, they're still all my cutting clients, they still come back for haircuts.
And then when people want to make that transition themselves, then they're like, well go to Lianne she'll help you. And I will say that
It is a strong commitment and you have to be ready to embrace it because depending on your starting point, it is a journey. People don't realize that it takes about it now. If you have short hair, that's the easiest because you're gonna grow a short head of hair quick quicker than if you're really attached to your long hair and you have to grow a whole head of hair.
it typically takes one and a half to three years, depending on the length how quickly your hair grows and the length of your hair. So you have to think a half an average is a half an inch of new growth a month. And half an inch is you know not very much. Even though it seems like when you have color all the way up to it, it's like, my gosh, in three weeks I have grays again. It's like it seems like it always grows faster when you don't want it to grow.
Heidi (07:31)
Hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lianne (07:32)
than when you want it to grow. And so
I just try to do like a thorough consultation with people before we go there and let them know
I know you see all these magnific magnificent transformations like ⁓ Jack Martin the colorist and I think he's in California and all these different gray transition colorists and ⁓ shame on some of them. Some of them do, some of them don't, but shame on some of them for not showing what it looks like in six weeks. Like after they walk out beautifully gray. Well that's just a tone, a tonality. ⁓ color fades warm, so your lowlights lighten and your highlights.
fade into blonde again. Like the toner comes off and then that that what you highlighted to tone gray then becomes blonde. So you do have to like tweak it and continue. Like you have a plan. Most people who I walk through it, it depends on where they're starting from. The lighter your hair is, the better. If you're starting with like ⁓ really dark hair color, that's a not a great place to start at. ⁓ But it some if if
Heidi (08:35)
That's me.
Lianne (08:39)
Some people will just thug it out and they will get six inches of new growth and then cut my hair into a pixie. I'm like, I'm all for it. Cause then you just yep. Then you just cut it all off. No.
Heidi (08:45)
That's what I did. Yeah. That's well, that's what I did the second the second time. Because the first
time I went gray, I had a toddler and then two slightly older kids and I was like, I got all this gray. I can't keep up with the roots and I was using like, it was like a powder or something to kinda like fill in the Yeah, and it was actually really worked really well, but I couldn't even keep up with that. I had a business at the time that ⁓ my
My organic ⁓ soap and body products business was was pretty busy and I was like, I did not have the time and the energy to to keep up with everything. So I said, I'm gonna go gray. And I saw myself in a picture after it had been ⁓ I had always had kind of short, pretty short, like a pixie kind of cut, but I had decided for some reason I was gonna grow it all one length to about here And I saw a picture of myself, it was like around Thanksgiving or something, and I was holding my son, who I think was like three, two and a half.
Lianne (09:25)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (09:41)
I was horrified. I I I was like, I cannot believe I look that bad and nobody told me for one. I mean it was gray, but I looked exhausted. I was exhausted. I was I was not very healthy at the time, but I I just looked I looked like crap. And I f I said, that's it and I cut it all short again and I went back to my black henna or whatever I was using at the time and I did not go back to gray again for probably ten years. And then
Lianne (10:09)
Yeah.
Heidi (10:10)
Then I was like when I really got sick of the the roots, I said, Okay, that's it. I'm committing. So I cut my hair pretty short again because it had kind of grown out a little bit. and I just went through that difficult like, oof, that looks horrible. you know, the skunk, but then it gets the longer skunk and you know, and for me, I mean I was I was so committed because I didn't want to use the color anymore. I was just really done with it. And I am not a
Lianne (10:35)
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (10:37)
I barely know how to put on makeup. I know we've we've talked about this before. I'm like a little blush. I'm learning how to use some foundation. And I'm I just it's not that I don't well, I think at this age, yes. Ooh, yeah, for sure. but and that's something that you and I have talked about. I don't even know how to do it. So trying to learn it is just like, ooh, it's too much. But so when I finally went gray gray, it was okay, that was a release.
Lianne (10:44)
That's all you need. Less is more anyway. Mid midlife less is more. Yep. Yeah.
Heidi (11:04)
But I have so many friends of mine that are kinda toying with the idea If you're not ready, you're not ready. Because it's a commitment, you know. Yeah.
Lianne (11:09)
You're not ready.
It is a commitment. And I will say
that I am here to represent and support everybody. If you're not ready, you're not ready. You can color your hair till before you hit the casket. I don't like that's if that makes you feel good, honey, I don't that's you. if you're you're allowed to change your mind so you can decide you wanna do it and then all of a sudden it's it's okay to be
I don't really like this and then go back. I just what like wanna try to remove the condemnation out of all of it and the pressure. And a lot of people always say, Well, I well, mine won't look like yours. You have no idea what yours will look like until you grow it out. And I don't mean to like hair. because still, like if my hair was like red from hair down, you still don't understand what a full what your hair is going to look like until it fully grows out. So you have to be
confident and s and tough during the transition and you have to be able to get used to looking at yourself that way. That's no different than if you just change your hair color altogether. If you go from blonde to you know copper or you know whatever. Like I always say it sometimes it's a shock and so 72 hours. But you do have to s you you know there are times like you one you have to settle into the fact that I'm not 25 anymore, even though some people are gray at 25.
And then when you look at yourself in the mirror, you have to like, okay, that that's me now. Like, and just embrace it. I I will say that most of my clients who finish it, you know, go all the way with it, they feel better. They feel more secure after the transition is over than they did hiding the grays every three weeks with their hair mascara and their root sprays and their whatever they feel.
more secure after it's finished, which, you know, like you said, that's a journey. But they get more compliments. I get more, I get most people don't even realize my hair is gray. especially young people, they're like, your hair's highlighted. And I'm no, it's gray. it's all gray. And mine looks different than some. Some people have these these super cool money pieces, like their hair will just be white on one side or just white streaks hair and dark hair or
Heidi (13:13)
I didn't I that. No, I didn't.
Lianne (13:29)
Every salt and pepper looks different. Mine is silver and brown still. So my pepper is not dark really. ⁓ so mine's just like silver and brown. And some people yeah, brown. Yep. Yeah. Because then the lighter takes over and that's more of what you see. Yeah.
Heidi (13:42)
That's not mine, is I still have a lot of brown in the back and I was I didn't even know that. I think but you said
Yeah.
You said something too and and I think that I think it's like a twofold process. It's like you have to there's that commitment to saying, Okay, I'm gonna go gray, I'm gonna do this, or I'm not gonna go gray. I mean, that's an option too, because like you said, if you're not ready, like you said, you can go right up go into your casket that way. You know, it's like it's it's a personal choice. Yeah. But I think there's this there's this stigma about I feel like there's a stigma about women
Lianne (14:11)
Yeah, it doesn't that's it's your life, it's a personal choice.
Heidi (14:21)
colouring their hair or a judgment and then there's also the judgment of people that don't, you know, and it's it's not the same for men because I mean men you know, men are distinguished and they you know, the salt and pepper. Yeah, exactly. And it it pisses me off. No, I know. Yeah. Yeah.
Lianne (14:24)
One hundred percent.
At all.
And women are hags. I hate that. But they're not. yeah. I mean it's aggravating. And I tell people
this particular client, She was trying to gray transition and it was actually her husband who was like
What are you doing? Like, that looks terrible. And I was Well what color is his hair? She's like, it's gray. And I'm like, it I mean I have the things I wanna say, but like, you know, I mean you should probably just tell him but it's your hair, you know. ⁓ but then we all make concessions and you don't wanna feel you wanna f still feel pretty and so if your support system is not helping you feel pretty in whatever stage of life that you're in, then you should probably find a new support system.
Heidi (14:56)
Right.
Yeah.
Lianne (15:15)
I would never say that it's a personal thing too, but you also have to kind of learn how to just rock it on your own. ⁓ but it is it's a commitment. ⁓ it there is a stigma. I do know that people who embrace it and go with it typically feel better after, you know, it they've done it and conquered it.
And unfortunately you're never gonna have to look far to find a critic. So I'm like, well, don't lean into the critics. Lean into the people who are trying to help you on your journey and encourage you, whether it be your weight or your beauty standards are just beauty standards are just different for women than they are men. Men seem to be able to skate under the I mean, and not not all, because overweight men have, you know, hard times and issues too, but
Heidi (15:52)
Anything, yeah.
Lianne (16:05)
Definitely the gray hair issue is way more i it's way tougher of a subject for women. But I see so many people embracing it now. It's like a thing. it's like a trend. and I love to see these women's journeys that ⁓ hairstylists and non-hairstylists where they just raw dog it and don't color, don't transition, don't integrate, they just rock in their
Heidi (16:16)
It's nicer.
Lianne (16:32)
black line of demarcation and they're just this is it and they are not cutting it they're not you know and I'm like and I love that too but even if you still you can still color your hair and integrated the gray so I always say rather than full color integrate rather than eliminate if you're going to be gray integrating your gray in with your highlights and low lights and fashion colors and stuff
Heidi (16:35)
Yeah.
Lianne (16:59)
there's you can make it look nice without ⁓ totally eliminating it and you still can do fun things with your hair. I'm in the middle of growing I bleached out just the underneath since this was really not grey and I would put fashion colors on just under here And even this I haven't touched up or it's like a year grown out because it's like this is all natural, but this is still and I haven't put anything on it just because
I just ha just forget that it's under there sometimes and it's all like faded from orange and blue and whatever. But you can still do fun things with your hair underneath or you can do a little like pieces or whatever. you can still have fun with your hair and still leave most of the grey in it. You don't have to just grow out the grey and and feel like you
Heidi (17:44)
Yeah. I like that I like
that blending, that transitioning concept because I think that is something what you said about looking in the mirror and you're like, Who is this person? I mean, that happens
whether you have the same hairstyle and color all through midlife, you just start looking in the mirror and you're like, ⁓ wait, what the ⁓ you know, the side you're like my profile, what is this thing under my chin? You know? And these like wrinkles. I tried I tried a like a powdery kind of foundation that was meant for like older women. I we talked about this. I think it was the L Laura Geller, I think it was I'm like, well I'm gonna just Well, it i it didn't work for me, but I mean
Lianne (18:02)
Yeah, I got a little like a little turkey neck and a little yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And sh that's that's great makeup I
Yeah.
Heidi (18:25)
I know people that love it and I put it I was it was ⁓ kind of like a powdery, creamy whatever. ⁓ horrible. It was so bad. I was like, get this stuff off my face. It went into every every line, everything. Yeah. But then I so I gave it to my friend Connie and she she was like, I'll take it. She loves it. She's she's younger than me, but not by much.
Lianne (18:31)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. You gotta do what works for you. It went in every little yeah.
Yeah.
makeup for aging skin. you know, that's a whole you know, that's a whole other topic. 'cause you do everything you do things a certain way for so long and then you feel like
Heidi (18:53)
Right.
Lianne (19:01)
one day you're like, well this doesn't this isn't right anymore. This doesn't work the same. And you're well, now what do I do? But yeah, so I used to wear like crazy eyeshadow and crazy eyeliner and crazy colors. And then the older I got and the my skin changed, I was this just doesn't look as cute anymore. Like I can't, you know, it just doesn't. Like I love it. I love and I love drag makeup and I love like
Heidi (19:06)
yeah, yeah. It
Right, yes.
Lianne (19:27)
I love all that. I just can't rock it the same way I used to only because it doesn't look as good on my skin anymore. So I just live vicariously through I follow a lot of different people on social media who still do super dramatic makeup and I love it and I love to watch them do it. I just can't do it anymore.
Heidi (19:43)
That's actually a guilty pleasure of mine. I'll find these reels and I'll just like binge watch how to put on highlighter or whatever. And I'm like, that's so cool. And I love watching it. And then one of my daughter's friends, ⁓ Precious, has she's on TikTok and she's just doing it for fun. She'll be like, look what I got. And she's in her car and she's and she's, you know, she's 25, she's gorgeous, and she's the hair, and and she's just always doing stuff. And I'm like, she she'll do these makeup tutorials at home sometimes, and I'm like,
Lianne (19:50)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Heidi (20:11)
that's so cool. Of course it's not gonna look like that on me. And I have no intention of ever doing it. I just love watching people put makeup on. It's it's it's so fun. I love it. ⁓
Lianne (20:17)
No, it's yeah, it's like fun to like and like watch other people do what they're good at. Yeah. And transforming
is like Halloween, you know what I mean? who doesn't like to do something that they don't normally do every once in a while? But yeah.
Heidi (20:27)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I agree. I agree. and I think this might be true, but I'm not a hundred percent sure. It's like all body hair turns gray after a while. That's what I've heard that it has not happened to me yet, but I heard that and I was like, ⁓ really? I had no idea.
Lianne (20:40)
Mm, I don't I I don't know.
Yeah, I don't yeah. Maybe.
Heidi (20:51)
I'm like, I don't know if that's true or if it's just a I don't know. I I can't say myself because
Lianne (20:56)
I've
never never really like cared for the elderly in a situation where I would be see that and like and I say privilege to see it because when you have to take care of someone, that is a privilege, especially if you could see them in their worst in their late life. ⁓ but I don't think I've ever been, thank goodness, I've had to do anything. Like I've never had to like bathe in it. So I don't know. Hasn't happened to me yet. So I don't I don't I don't know yet.
Heidi (21:01)
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah. Yeah. Me neither. So
I'm fifty seven, so I'm gonna hold tight. Well, there is the you know, the white, the occasional. So maybe I don't know, you know.
Lianne (21:26)
Yeah. We'll see. ⁓ gosh, yeah. Like the chase of the chin hairs, like the rough chin hairs.
Those will probably come in a little white, but maybe.
now there's so much gray stuff out there. I really feel like I'm I'm excited about that because it's empowering. And I saw the cutest little hashtag. Somebody's using it. I don't even know if it's if it's someone out there and this is like copyright. I don't know. There's some stylist out there that's using hashtag it's okay to be gray.
instead of like it's okay to be gay. 'Cause it's obviously okay to be both. But I feel like isn't that sad that like we are where we are. It's twenty twenty six and we have to tell women it's okay to have grey hair.
Heidi (21:56)
Love that.
Exactly.
I know, I know. It but we're we're we're
Lianne (22:11)
It's okay. And actually
some women just rock it and to me it's just so so beautiful on a lot of women. On most women. I've actually not ever gray transitioned anyone's hair where I looked at it afterwards and ever thought it was ugly. Not one time.
Heidi (22:30)
and that makes sense because I mean we're we're meant to we're meant to age like that, really. But the thing that is interesting too about grey is that it changes as your face is changing through midlife, your hair color changes the tone or I guess it's like the contrast changes and so you're able to wear different colors and that you couldn't wear before. So I I can wear
Lianne (22:48)
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Heidi (22:57)
And I love light pink now, which is just I I never ever wore any color when I lived in New York City. It was black and white and that's it. Yeah, and a scarf. Like I'd wear like a f fun fun scarf, handbag, and shoes. But when I moved south, of course, there's a lot more color here But I didn't look good in certain colors. Like maroon was one that I couldn't wear, or like that dark wine red, and forget light pink and certain colors. And now those are my
Lianne (23:06)
Well you're in the fashion industry too, so like Yeah. Yeah.
Heidi (23:25)
go to colors and actually I'm wearing black now but a lot of times sometimes black doesn't look good on me anymore. So it's I always have to kinda think about, you know, what type of black I'm wearing and but it's just it's interesting. It's it's like a whole it's like a whole new rebirth.
Lianne (23:39)
It is. And people will
say things like, I don't think I can do it, 'cause I think it would wash me out and I've yet to see that either. I've yet to see anyone grow out their gray. I like to say that, God doesn't make mistakes. You are meant to you know, be who you are and your gray hair grow out. And so like if he didn't intend, you know, or however you look at God, if they didn't intend for you to be where you are now
you wouldn't age this way. I I don't know. I just look at it that way. So why would you think it would wash you out? if there was not a way to fix it, you wouldn't know any different, you know? ⁓ and then you can change your makeup, you can change your bronzer, you can, you know, spend more time in the sun or whatever makes you feel more comfortable with you know growing your gray ha gray hair out. But again
Heidi (24:15)
True.
Right.
Lianne (24:27)
I'm not like I don't think everyone has to do it. I don't think it's for everybody. Like you wanna color your hair forever? Let's do it, girl. I'm gonna color your hair forever. But like if you wanna grow it out, let let's do that too. I'm here for it, you know.
Heidi (24:40)
Yeah.
Well I noticed too sometimes like when I was coloring it and it was a lot more gray, it looked like I was coloring gray hair. And that that bothered me yeah. And the texture was different. So that the way my hair looked then bothered me more than getting used to seeing the gray as it is. So it's it
Lianne (24:48)
Yeah. 'Cause it doesn't hold the pigment a lot.
Yeah, I will
say that when I first started growing mine out, I I had a hard time getting used to these little, I called them my little chicken hairs, because until they lay completely down, I would look at the mirror and I'd have like these frizzy hairs sticking up everywhere. And I was like, ⁓ I look like a little plucked chicken. But then eventually it all grows in and it grows out and it starts to lay down. They are still a little bit more coarse. Some people's worse than others. I mean, mine's fairly soft, but
Heidi (25:08)
⁓ yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lianne (25:29)
every once in a while I'll get a wiry one and then some people have more wiry, more coarse hair than when it goes gray than others. But it's and two, we live in the South, so there's nothing there's not a single product. You know, keratin treatments help and and good products help. But I always say like there is nothing that is gonna be a miracle for your hair in this level of humidity. So you would just have to find what works best for you
But it's all about just being comfortable, you know, in yourself.
Heidi (25:59)
Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's
yeah, and I change it up too because we have that high humidity. So I use this Cantu it's like a cocoa butter, like it's meant for ethnic hair, but I you I just put tons of that on when it's humid and it's great 'cause my hair got curly when it got gray. I was stick my hair well, it wasn't stick straight, but it was just barely wavy. And then as it got gray, the more gray it got, the more curly. It's actually not very curly now 'cause I I blow dried it yesterday for i in my fancy.
Lianne (26:07)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
You use the bl yeah. You use your
blow dry brush. Yeah.
Heidi (26:28)
My fancy blow dry brush. But
when we have those days where it's not humid or I go to Colorado or something, I I can't use hardly anything on my hair because then it's completely flat. And so it's like that that juggling thing. And I guess I I mean it I never had that problem before, but it's okay. It's an adjustment and I have lots of different hairstyles depending on the weather. Exactly.
Lianne (26:39)
Then it's yeah, flat, yeah.
Yeah, we all just have to adapt to where we are. Depend like
n that's that that applies to like all of life, you know.
Heidi (26:58)
It it
it is. It's that's a yeah, that's that's exactly it. I mean we the and the sooner that we're able to adapt, I think the happier we are.
Lianne (27:06)
And the more comfortable you you become. Yeah.
Heidi (27:09)
True. I'm
I'm definitely more confident now and I don't it's not necessarily r a hundred percent related to the gray hair, but it definitely not worrying about it and thinking, what do I look like or how does it fit my personality or my lifestyle or whatever? It really is it was freedom for me and freedom not just from coloring it and having to stay on a schedule, but it was just Like I felt like I was able to really embrace myself without any apologies or any kind of
Lianne (27:37)
Amen. Yeah, this is like this is where I am, this is what I am, this is what I'm doing and that's just in life in general. And you can you do have to get to a point of resolve, but you also have to get to a point in your life where it truly doesn't matter.
Heidi (27:37)
Judgment. Yeah. Yeah.
Lianne (27:55)
who you are if you have the right group of friends, like if you have the right environment. Because if you're ever feeling that you d don't belong, y you probably don't. And and that's okay. but you have to go then then go where you feel like you belong.
Heidi (28:11)
like that.
Lianne (28:17)
our life changes and so when you're at different points in your life you need different people and you need different support systems and then some people are in your life for a season and then you know they're not in your life anymore. And it so like hair is hair's no different than that, really. one thing I do I hate about hair is that how how much people
Heidi (28:35)
Yeah.
Lianne (28:41)
tie their identity to it. Like it is such an identity thing that I just wish people would free themselves a little a little more. Like ⁓ combovers and helmet hair and things that people have identified with
and just cannot let it go. It's almost like a security blanket. Like their whole life is gonna fall apart if they don't have a mullet or a you know, like that's not your identity. That's just like
Heidi (29:07)
A hundred percent yes.
Yeah.
if you're really attached to really long hair or or or s really short hair or yeah, that attachment. And I think there's like there's a lot of ⁓ judgment in the mixed in there and it's it's unfortunate because I think you know, we we deal with enough judgment from outside, which hopefully we don't allow in, but yeah, I think that's the freedom. You know, it's like I'm gonna stop judging myself for the choices that I make,
Lianne (29:19)
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And I do try to be better in the chair I'm not a counselor, I'm not a therapist, but I do try to encourage my clients to please try to love yourself because doesn't matter what we do to all this, if you're not good on the inside and you're not healthy on the inside and you're not feeling loved and supported, in your life, you whatever you do on the outside's truly not gonna matter anyway.
Heidi (29:40)
I would
That is such a good point. And I think I wanna continue this conversation because I think that that is that ties in so much to you know, the people that we become in midlife and and the like the relationships that we have to let go. It's not just, you know, we were talking about letting go of hair, like letting go of a certain look. It also ties in with relationships. So if you don't mind sticking around, we will continue and talk about relationships and you know the
Lianne (30:07)
You know.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Heidi (30:34)
figuring out who you who to surround yourself with. So if you yeah, cool.
Lianne (30:37)
Definitely.
Heidi (30:39)
so much.
Lianne (30:39)
doesn't feel
different than just hanging out with you at the house, but Yeah.
Heidi (30:41)
I know, well that's the whole point. I wanna keep
it, you know, I just wanna keep it fun and and real because we're all going we're all going through this at the same time.
Lianne (30:47)
Relatable. Yep.
Heidi (30:49)
If you're on the Mississippi Gulf Coast and you want to get in touch with Lianne, all of her contact information will be in the show notes. And hope you enjoyed this little chat with Lianne. It was awesome. So yeah, thank you
Lianne (31:00)
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Heidi (31:04)
And now it's time for the Patreon shout outs. I had some new members join me this month in Patreon. And Patreon is basically it's an app, a membership app you can join for free and get all your episodes two days early and get a shout out, preferably in the month that you joined. I do my best to try to do that in the same month. so this month I had Tiffany, Adrian, Renee, Jamie.
And Connie join Patreon. Thank you so much for the support. It means really the world to me. And if you like what you're hearing on the Evolving Together podcast, would you please give a five-star review wherever you listen and consider sharing an episode with somebody who you think needs to hear it? And if you really love it, just hop on over to Patreon. You can join for free or one of the other levels and get extra content.
Heidi (32:01)
and now for the disclaimer. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. The views expressed are our own and should not be taken as medical, legal, or financial guidance. always consult a qualified professional regarding your specific situation.
By listening you agree that we are not liable for any actions taken based on this content.