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Welcome creatives! These are discussions, thoughts, case studies, interviews, and lessons about how our creativity relates to life. The host, Mr Benja, is a former video game programmer / designer for Rockstar Games, Sony Santa Monica, The 3DO Company, and others, as well as a fine artist. -- Be sure to check out the website for more.
All right, all right, let's
get things started here.
Get things started.
I'm just going to start jumping right into
these because you know what, you don't
need to be waiting around for anything.
You've got places to be.
You've got people to see.
You've got things to do.
I understand.
I understand.
Shout out to Nat Freedom
Entertainment for popping through.
We always give love and respect to
the people who we love and respect.
So shout out to you Nat.
Also, lovelivemusic.
Thank you very much for stopping through.
This is creativity threads, life podcast
about all the aspects of creativity
and how they thread through our lives.
I realized that it was a constant topic
in my mind, just about creativity,
doing what you got to do, building
something out of nothing, turning order.
Uh, from chaos to order, taking the
forces of entropy and moving them
into some sort of ordered pattern
in your life, improvement, building,
creativity, et cetera, et cetera.
Uh, I've been doing that for
much of my life and I wouldn't
change it for the world.
So now I'm just getting around to
talking about it, and I have so much
noise to talk about that I'm doing a
daily, well, for now, um, showing up
here on the weekdays, just as much as
I want to talk about this stuff, over
time I'll probably straighten up some
things with coming in live with Uh, you
know, more graphics and things like that.
But right now, I just want to
be sure I'm popping in here.
I honestly don't have the patience
to keep setting up the camera and
getting the lighting set up every time.
But I do want to get this
information out there while I'm
doing more behind the scenes stuff.
So that's why we're going
audio only for the most part.
But should you miss these lives?
Don't worry.
Uh, the concepts I talk about, I'll
continue to talk about, and I just want
to keep a running track of these things.
So I'm going to continue to talk about,
uh, creativity, where it affects your
life, some current events, maybe.
And we'll go from there.
This is going to be also built out with
the webpage and the podcast players.
So you'll see that
reflected there as well.
But if you are new to the scene,
be sure to check out mrbenja.
com.
That's where I end up focusing all of
the links and the, I organize everything.
So you can always find my links there.
Creativitythreadslife.
com is actually up and available,
but it's not fully fleshed out yet.
So if you go there, uh, just know that.
All right.
So.
That was my little short couple minute
intro, and I wanted to get into something
that I was talking about over on
threads because to be honest, threads
is where I got the inspiration for this
whole creativity threads life thing.
Um, I, I don't want to say I
was concerned, but I've been
doing my new year's thing.
Like I usually do, and I get hyped
about the new year and I get happy.
2024 is here.
Uh, screw Halloween, screw Christmas,
screw fourth of July, all that
Thanksgiving that can all be pushed
to the side for me for new year.
It's not about running around, you
know, drinking, staying up until six in
the morning or whatever, and screaming
my lungs out and doing fireworks.
I did that.
And that's okay.
That's fun.
That's fantastic.
That's a great time.
If you want to spend your time that
way at the new year, but recently,
I guess I've become an old fart.
I've started getting into my
reflective and introspective stage.
I, I guess you could call it.
So what am I doing with this
reflective and introspective stage?
Well, for the past several years,
I've been taking New Year's time to
basically cut myself off from everything.
And if it's really going to be a new
year, new me, I said to myself, I want
to stop, really reflect on what happened,
really take a step back, not only
from other people's perception of me.
Which is why I cut off the notifications
pretty much and I kind of went silent
for about three days and then I also
do the introspective kind of cleansing
where it's like, I don't assume anything
about myself anymore, where I stop
and take a moment and say, you know
what, let me just sit with me and think
about what I'm experiencing right now.
Am I getting good sleep?
Am I looking forward to the next day?
How do I feel about?
My, my knees when I run up a pair of
steps, a flight of steps, not a pair, a
pair would be pretty sad if you're worried
about your knees on a pair of steps.
But yes, like a flight of steps.
How are, how am I feeling?
You know, the physical, mental, spiritual,
familial, social, internal, you know,
the, all of these different factors.
Are you living in the
town you want to live in?
How does that make you feel?
What does, what does all this mean to you?
And I start doing this introspective
and extrospective kind of thing.
Anyway, yeah, I'm hearing you
Natalie, uh, you know, taking
that week of solitude to reflect.
It's a powerful thing.
I should do it more often
throughout the year.
I do my little hour, two hour, you know, I
may take a most of a day away from myself.
My thoughts are still pretty much ramping
on, on the momentum that I've already
got going on, the good and bad momentum.
But anyway, so I do this thing.
I, I take a, you know, basically a
retreat for myself and somebody called
me, somebody called me, um, uh, you know,
standoffish during this point and I was
like, okay, this is what happens when
I go into my meditative mode and they
thought I was being mean or something had
happened at the new year and I was like,
no, no, no, I'm just, just doing my thing.
But what, um, what this has allowed me
to do is stop and really consider what
have I been doing in the past year.
2003, 2023 reflections and
what's going on in 2024.
This I spoke about a couple
of days ago, but it gives you,
it gives you a trajectory.
Now, trajectory is not a goal.
It's not a direction.
It's not a specific location, but
your trajectory, it's basically your
general path towards some destination.
I won't say a final destination,
but some destination.
So if you've got your present state,
Where you are right now, and you think
about where you're going, some general,
just imagine you're standing out
somewhere on the highway and you see
mountains off in the distance, you see
a mountain off in the distance, you're
standing at the edge of the highway
or at a gas station or somewhere.
You're standing in a driveway, whatever,
by the road, you're looking off in
the distance and you see a mountain
and you think to yourself, I'm going
to get to the top of that mountain.
Also, you've got to look back
at where you come from back to
all your, all your knowledge.
You're learning the things
that brought you where you're.
You're currently are
not with a good or bad.
Look saying that that was,
Hey, that happened in 2023.
That was terrible.
Let's not put a judgment
value call on it yet.
Let's just say that it happened.
Everything that's happened and everything
that's going to happen are on the two
sides of you during this little period
of time at the beginning of the year.
So by what I mean by trajectory is this
path that you're on that tells you the
general direction based on where you've
come from and where you're going, and this
trajectory will allow you to move forward
in your life, in your mind, in your.
In your decisions that you make
in your everyday dealings with
much more clarity and ability.
So as I said, you're standing
on the side of the road.
That's where you are currently.
And you're looking at this
mountain way off in the distance.
Just imagine looking off at a
mountain way off in the distance.
You don't know how you're
going to get there.
You don't know who's going
to help you along the way.
You don't know who's
going to get you there.
You just know that there's a mountain
and I'm going to get to the top of it.
Maybe you don't know
how to climb mountains.
I don't either.
Maybe they have a special
tourist, you know, escalator
up the side of the mountain.
They drive everybody up to
the top of the mountain.
Maybe you need to take a helicopter.
You don't know.
You don't know what
roads are in between you.
You don't know if there are toll roads.
You don't even know if there's a.
A body of water between you
just know that you've got to
get to the, to that mountain.
That's what you've decided along the way.
You may change and decide to go to
some Valley, to some other destination.
You may see a city off in the distance
you want to check out, but for right
now you're looking at that mountain.
That's where you want to get to and go.
Then once you started looking
at that, now you can look back
from where you've come from.
Now a lot of people don't do
a lot of the looking back.
They say, no, looking back,
I'm only looking forward.
Those are people that have.
are trying to hide their past.
Your past is your past.
And it can be looked at
positively or negatively.
I don't care what kind of past you have.
It can be looked at
positively or negatively.
Hopefully, you're trying to set up
your future such that when you look
at your past you realize you're
the only one equipped to get to
that future because of your past.
Let me say that again.
Your future is not defined by your past.
But if you think about it, your past
When looked at in a positive way,
can define any future that you want.
So, when I was young, I grew, I
was raised in a, uh, North Florida,
South Georgia, Southern Baptist
Christian school with all of its
right leaning, heavy handed politics
and ways of moving about the world.
I, I learned a lot of things
there, but I learned that it
was okay for me to stand alone.
Now, somebody might look at that
past and say, Oh my gosh, you know,
that must've been terrible for you.
I was fine.
Okay.
I am fine with it.
Now, whatever may have happened
during, in that, in that time,
it's led me to be a person that
can stand alone in a situation.
So now that I know that I can stand
alone in this situation, I look towards
my mountain, my personal area where
I want to go, and I notice there are
going to be plenty of times where
I'm going to need to stand alone.
And guess what?
I can do that.
So taking your past and allowing it not
to define your future, but taking your
future and using that to define your past.
Saying, I can only get to this future
point by looking at my past and
realizing that I'm equipped to get there.
Because of my past crazy time, crazy
topic, crazy way of thinking about things.
But the reason I started thinking
about that is because I was talking
to some people about the new year and
I got into this a little while ago.
past podcast.
And I was talking about,
Hey, this is the new year.
It's, uh, let's start
thinking about improvements.
What do we want to do?
What do we want to reflect upon?
Do you need accountability partners?
If I see somebody at the gym, I'm looking
at them like, Hey, happy new year.
Would you like an accountability partner?
I don't come out straight
out and say it like that, but
you start up a conversation.
And you start like finding
out people's goals, people's
people's ways of doing things.
And yes, this is actually
a well researched Natalie.
I know I tend to talk like I'm just
woo woo out here, but I get all my
information from my life experience as
well as the life experience of others
and well, well researched academics
and thought leaders in this space.
Um, Whether you're talking about
James Clear, Benjamin Hardy, um,
Charles Duhigg, uh, Grant Cardone,
Gary Vee, a lot of people who have
been through a lot of this stuff.
That's where I'm getting a lot of this
information from, even back to Napoleon
Hill and Zig Ziglar and so forth.
Anyway, but yes, your future
can define what your past means.
And this is, this gets you into
a weird space because I'm sitting
here talking to people like, hey,
where's our future going to be?
And they're like, well, and even just from
a year back, I talked to a friend of mine.
About where he wanted to be in the future.
I was like, hey man last year We
were talking about New Year's goals.
Now this year's here.
What's going on?
And he's like, well, I got a kid now
and I was like, wait a minute We start
talking about the New Year's and you
start you start off your conversation
with well I have a kid now that sounds
like excuses coming I don't know
what he was about to say, but all I
heard was well I have a kid now and
I'm like, what does a kid have to do?
He's defined his future as
being some out of shape dad.
Cause we were talking about
fitness and everything last year.
So this year now he's just given
up and I'm talking and he's
saying, yeah, I got a kid now.
So, you know, won't be able to.
And he just started on this
excuse prep preparation kick.
And I'm like, this guy
doesn't want to improve.
He just gave up.
No, I mean, whatever is going on with him
and his family, you know, um, some people
have had kids and made that an excuse.
It's like, yeah, you know, uh, I strapped
my kid in a backpack and, and go walking.
I'm like, all right, that's what you do.
Yeah.
I had my kid now.
I'm, you know, now I'm in the gym.
I gotta.
Keep this body up.
It's like, cool.
Yeah.
I went, you know, I got a kid now and
you know, the kid likes to stay up a lot.
So I don't get a lot of sleep.
So I'm going to have to
work on my sleep pattern.
I'm like, yeah, that
sounds like positivity.
This guy was not talking positivity.
He was talking about his future looking
bad because something good happened
to him, which was really weird.
Have a child.
Great thing.
Now he's talking about
his life gets worse.
Um, I didn't vibe with that.
I didn't like it.
I didn't, I don't want to
say I didn't understand it,
but I kind of understood it.
And, yes, many people abort
dreams when real life happens.
When real life happens, that is
supposed to, that is a, that is
a way to invigorate yourself.
And it got me really thinking about the,
the world that's going on now, where
people don't want to actually improve.
And I looked around, and it's like,
like even everywhere I go, the gym, the,
the grocery store, whatever, if like
somebody leaves something on the wrong
shelf, my mind isn't doing anything.
Much, much else while
I'm at a grocery store.
I'm like, okay, I got to pick
up some, some, some yogurt.
Maybe get some cottage cheese.
I'm in the dairy aisle, I guess.
Um, oh, what's this?
Here's some flan.
Let me get some flan.
And I might notice that the
sour cream is in the wrong spot.
Normally, I just pass by it, but sometimes
I'll take it and, you know, move it
right over to where it's supposed to be.
It's just because I have
an improvement mindset.
It's just that's the way I think.
I'm not trying to fix the world or
anybody, but it's like I'm doing my thing
to make my environment better in all ways.
There's a piece of trash on the floor.
I don't want to step on it,
so I kick it out of the way.
I at least kick it to the side
so nobody else steps on it.
There was a candy bar in the
aisle if you're wondering.
It's like a half eaten candy bar.
Just a bad look.
Um, but yeah, I was, uh, you know,
buying my, taking my grocery run,
my dairy run, uh, apparently in this
example, I do like flan, uh, but
yeah, they had a flan, sour cream,
cottage cheese, and, uh, and yogurt.
And, uh, all those were on my mind,
except for the sour cream was in
the wrong spot, so I had to move it.
Anyway, I have this idea that I
improve myself and the environment
around me will naturally improve.
And people start taking offense to that.
Like you're trying to fix them.
A lot of people really
aren't on my mind like that.
I'm just thinking if we're all
running, if we're all on this path
and somebody is like, Ooh, I'm tired.
It's like, okay.
What am I supposed to do with that?
You want me to give you a coffee?
Sure.
Um, give you some tips?
Sure.
Wait for you?
Maybe.
But back to the guy, I, I, I will not,
I will not initiate conversation to
this, to this guy about New Year's
anymore, the future or improvement.
I, I will, I may bring things up
slightly, but I won't do like I
did before and say, Hey, let's
get this New Year's thing going.
Hey, let's make some improvements.
Obviously he doesn't want that.
Just like you said, Natalie, he's Looking
for an excuse before he even starts.
And if you listen to
this podcast, awesome.
You know who you are.
I'm not afraid to tell
people things to their face.
Anything that I say not to their face.
They just aren't here and it's more
efficient for me to go ahead and say it
instead of waiting for you to be around.
So, if you hear this, you, don't worry.
Uh, still love you.
You're my guy.
Just, uh, making a note.
Anyway, um, but yeah, actually wanting
to improve and this kind of made me
sad that, I looked around and I saw
that I was annoying some people and
those is thread on on back on threads.
There was this whole thing about
toxic positivity and I get that.
That's a weird thing.
And it's, you know, you have to be
empathetic to where people are, you can
be empathetic to a point, but I don't
want to stop and sit on the side of the
road and complain that we ran out of gas
when I could be looking for a gas station.
When I could be looking through
the trunk of my car to see if
there's anything to write a sign on.
I need gas, please help.
You know, it's going to get dark soon.
You don't want to be out in the dark,
just standing on the side of the road.
You've got people with you.
Maybe one person walks to the gas station.
Maybe the other person, you
know, waits by the car with the
hazard lights and the hood open.
You do what you got to do.
My mother used to call this
wallowing in self pity.
And you know, my mom was, she was,
she was, she was tough on people.
And so I, I suppose I might be
coming across as tough on people,
but I don't attack people.
I attack problems.
And to me, this looks like a problem
where we've got so much available to us.
We've got so many opportunities
and we get upset over, over things.
There was a guy on threads with 15,
000 followers complaining that they
weren't getting that much engagement.
With hundreds of likes, hundreds of
replies, and I'm thinking to myself,
thousands of likes, hundreds of
replies, and I'm thinking to myself,
what are you complaining about?
This is free.
This is free marketing.
Do you know how hard marketing
was before social media and
before the internet came around?
What are you talking about?
You didn't pay thousands of
dollars to, like, an email firm
to make sure your email got sent
out way, way back in the day.
You didn't go hand out hundreds of flyers.
On your quote unquote day off.
What are you talking about?
I went to, when I was trying to
get my foothold started back in the
day, when I was doing things down
in San Diego, you know, I had a,
I had a three night art show that
pulled in a couple thousand dollars.
And it was something that I just
put together and there was no
social media, not like it is now.
I think, I can't remember when
events started to be a big thing on
Facebook, but I want to say it was
just around the time when events
were starting to become a thing.
They had Eventbrite for sure, but Facebook
events, I'm not sure if that was a thing.
Either way, it's not like you could corral
a large amount of people that you didn't
know without doing a lot of footwork.
So I say that to say in whatever situation
you're in, a lot of it's in your head.
A lot of people, I know you
don't want to hear this.
A lot of people don't like to
think about this, but yes you
might go to the gym for new years.
Yes.
You might, you know, get
your finances in order.
Yes.
You might take that class on, on pottery.
You know, because you want to make awesome
pots and vases for all your friends.
Lovely goal, sure.
I, that's, that's, that's
fine and great and good.
I'm talking about renewing
of your mind and your spirit.
And really stopping to take a moment
to look at what's available to you.
Right now, we are being bombarded
with information, mine included.
Just bombarded with information,
nonsense, ideas, good ideas, bad ideas.
It's a lot to handle.
It's a lot to take in.
And I think people have
started to default to a.
A sort of a shutdown where they
just kind of shrug their shoulders
and then they watch the stream
as it flies, as it flows by.
I don't know if any of you
have ever been to stocks.
If you get into stocks enough and you
start seeing all the tickers and data
sheets and you get this computerized
feed flying by your screen watching
what's happening in real time.
It can become like this matrix like
stream of data where you're not even
sure what's up and what's down anymore.
You're just looking at numbers fly by.
I feel that's kind of happened to a lot
of people just in their daily lives.
Notifications on Facebook,
Instagram, Snapchat, X.
Threads, whatever else, information on
TV, all your notifications on your phone.
Yes, definitely, Natalie.
Information overload and
a desensitization to it.
That's a word I need to practice saying.
Become, becoming desensitized towards,
becoming desensitized to all of
the information that we're getting.
And the thing about desensitization,
yes, I will have to practice
that word, desensitization.
Um, because of, We don't
necessarily have to be desensitized.
We can start to filter intentionally.
We become desensitized when we're
not considering what's happening.
We're just letting it flow.
We're just letting it flow into us.
And we're just accepting
it for what it is.
If you actually stop and
say, okay, hold on a second.
How is my mind sorting out this data?
How am I taking in all
of this information?
And now people look at me and they
say, wow, how can you, how can you
be on social like this and, you
know, do your thing and just jump
online and jump off when you want.
And it doesn't really bother you.
It's like, no, I've practiced this.
I've learned how to.
I've learned how to take care of the
facility of my mind and my spirit.
My body and my social is coming along a
little slower, but my mind and my spirit
are pretty strong right now, at least
stronger than they used to be for me.
So I'm happy about that.
So back to wanting to improve.
No matter what situation you're
in, you can start to improve.
And I'll probably do a separate podcast
just about improving your mind state.
In light of all of this information
and data that's going around, I'll
probably offer up some techniques.
Maybe I'll whip up an ebook because
kids like ebooks these days.
Whip up a nice, awesome ebook.
I've been thinking about
my graphic design skills.
So an ebook might be an
awesome thing to bang out.
Um, probably make.
More than one before the year is finished.
Probably several.
Anyway, improving yourself.
We've got this, everyone talks about
improving themselves, but I just don't,
I don't just want to give out some tips.
I just don't want to give out ideas.
There needs to be a mindset shift because
if you really want to change, there's
a bookstore, there's YouTube, there's
Google, there's all types of places.
There are coaches, their
friends, mentors, et cetera.
We already know that.
I want to step back a little and
get back into that mindset shift.
Like what would cause
somebody to start focusing?
on the negative.
What would make them believe
that it's okay to start giving
up in the way they're giving up?
And I've had to ask this of myself.
So nothing I put out here,
am I admonishing anybody for?
I'm asking you because
I've asked myself this.
And when I say you, I don't mean you in
particular, you in parenthesis, like you
used to see in grammar, grammar class.
That general you, whoever you might be.
I started wondering why I was getting
so upset with notifications and
slight bit of anxiety that I was
feeling every week at a certain time.
And I realized it was because
a certain person would contact
me every week around that time.
And I realized I was getting
a low level bit of anxiety.
Like, well, should I go do this?
Because if I, if I go,
they'll start calling me.
And if I'm, let's say I'm going
to the movies and this person was
going to call me, then, you know,
my phone would be blowing up and
they can't reach me in the movies.
And then I'd get all these weird
posts on my Facebook and weird.
Messages on my phone.
I just didn't want to deal with that.
So maybe I shouldn't go to the movie
and I should wait for this person to
call or maybe I should call them first.
Oh no.
If I call them first, then they'll
think that I want to talk to
them all the time and they'll,
that'll reinforce that behavior.
Totally overthinking this nonsense.
It, it made sense, but at
some point it was a bad, bad.
Yes, thank you for dropping
through Natalie, do your thing.
Uh, as I said, I'm going to post
this to, I'm going to post this
to the podcast stream later.
So you'll be able to, all these
will be archived on the podcast
properly with Apple podcast.
I have that set up already.
I just haven't launched yet because I
want to get in the habit of speaking these
things before I start publishing them.
Um, it's the way I'm
deciding to do this output.
So thank you very much
always for coming through.
I will definitely look for you anyway.
So I was having these
notifications going on.
And they were annoying me.
So I stopped and said, why don't
I turn my notifications off?
I told somebody that I started turning
my notifications off and they got mad.
Why would you do that?
What does someone needs to
get in contact with you?
Well, I'll just check
my messages every hour.
Is there something so dangerous
that within an hour I'm probably
not going to, but what is this?
The, you know, and there's
always, but what, but what?
Once again, that's back to excuses.
Doggone it, am I going to have to
do a whole one of these on excuses?
Because I really didn't
want to talk about that.
I just wanted to talk
about wanting to improve.
Now, to improve, you need to actually
look at yourself and say, look
at your trajectory again, like I
mentioned from the beginning, and
think to yourself, What am I doing?
What can I be doing less of?
What can I be doing more of?
What can I be doing better?
You're on the highway.
You're on the road.
You see that mountain in the distance,
and you see where you've come.
You know where you want to go.
You have a general direction
of where you want to get.
Start thinking about pathways.
You don't have one definite path, you're
going to need to adjust as you go.
Your pathways are going to need
to be taken in smaller chunks,
in digestible bits, that you can
accomplish at any given moment.
These are what I call goals.
I have a trajectory that is taking me
to the mountains, but that is not my, I
don't want to put that out as a specific
goal, because then I start to lose
track of what's happening on the daily.
I want to keep that
defined as my trajectory.
It's the general direction I'm going
in based on where I am and where I
came from and where I want to go.
But a goal that I can clearly define,
that I can clearly think about in the
state that I can say, you know what?
I'm going to get in my car.
I'm going to drive X amount of miles.
I'm going to stop at a gas station and
then I'm going to readjust from there.
I'm going to listen to the,
I'm going to listen to these
podcasts while I'm driving.
I'm going to.
Maybe pick up some friends along the way.
I'm going to adjust my tires.
I may even look into getting
a different type of vehicle.
I don't know.
This is a long journey.
Let's see how it goes.
But you make goals based
on the past that you see.
And I think what's happening with
people not wanting to improve is
that they've been sold so many ideas.
And their minds are so convoluted
now that they don't see a pathway
to where they're trying to get.
So they just stop and sit by the side
of the road and they're waiting for
further instruction, waiting for some
external motivation, waiting for some
type of miraculous external vision.
Or vibe to push them forward.
And if that's you waiting
on that, that's unfortunate.
You can do better.
You can make your
pathways available to you.
You can make them doable.
You can start moving forward.
The other option is to be stagnant
and you may have the company of a
lot of people that also want to be
stagnant, but that's not a good idea.
You may feel like you.
You've done enough and you don't want
to bang your head against the wall.
That's a very fine and positive feeling.
Yes.
The negative pain of, I don't
want to do this anymore, or
this has gone on long enough, or
this doesn't seem to be working.
Those negative thoughts can still
work to your positive advantage.
If you think about them in terms of
your trajectory, if you've been riding
along this road and it's bumpy as
heck, you can't just sit there and
say, I'm not going to drive anymore.
The road is bumpy.
Maybe you trade in your
car for some new tires.
Maybe you trade in your car for a truck.
I mean, maybe you get a new suspension.
Maybe you find a different route.
There are all these things you can
do, but most people have just decided
to pull over and say, yeah, I'm good.
I give up.
I quit.
I'm just gonna go with the flow
and complain and be mad and upset
and that's unfortunate.
So what I want to ask is do
you really want to improve?
If so, how?
Start writing it out.
Start thinking through it.
As I said in my previous
podcast about Resolution myths.
You don't have to believe in
all these things that, that
people are pushing on you.
You just have to believe
that you can improve.
Because we all can.
A lot of times we decide
not to, but we can.
What's keeping you from
even wanting to improve?
What's keeping you from
wanting that better thing?
If you've given up, it
is worth questioning.
What have I given up on?
Have I given up on the entire process?
Have I given up on people?
Have I given up on
These are questions you have to
ask for any negative sensation.
You have to ask, okay,
why am I feeling that?
And how can I start to move from
that feeling to a better feeling?
I am not a heavy partaker of illicit
substances, but at one point, I was
really stressed the hell out, and I
had an edible THC kicked in, and I made
some awesome decisions and kept going
about my business, and well after that
moment, I was like, you know what?
If I made that decision while I was
high, I can make it while I'm sober.
And that just, that changed my life.
I just took myself back to that
feeling of being able to say
whatever and going about my business.
Into the, uh, non inebriated world.
It was great.
So any negative experience you have
can even be used for the positive.
I hope this doesn't sound like toxic
positivity because I don't want to,
I don't want to, um, you know, deny
anybody their situation or their pain.
That's not what I'm doing.
I'm saying you should acknowledge the
pain and move on to even greater things.
Something bad is happening.
Yeah.
Acknowledge it, accept it, know
that it exists and it's real
and then keep doing your thing.
What's happening, dip the hip,
they dip, you dip, we dip.
Shout out to the old songs
from uh, back in the day.
But yeah, constant improvement.
It's like people don't, not only do people
not want to improve themselves, what's,
what's an interesting factor, what's an
interesting thing is that people seem to
have decided, and I, I've, I've run into
this too myself, so I'm never speaking
just wagging, wagging my finger at people.
I'm just saying you can
make your way past this.
But when, when people as a group.
Or in small clusters, decide
that they don't want to improve.
Anybody who does want to
improve will be admonished.
They'll be attacked.
They'll have rocks thrown at them.
They'll be shut out.
They'll be pushed away.
They'll be shunned.
So now, if you've got a group of
5, 10 people, and you're the only
person in that group that wants to
go forward, suddenly, you're pulling
against the weight of the entire group.
And you have to make a decision.
Do you want to leave this group?
Do you want to mentally or
socially separate yourself
from what the group is doing?
Do you want to risk pushback?
Do you want to risk Being ostracized,
it becomes a difficult thing, but this
is, this is what creativity requires.
Creativity requires that you look at this,
this darkness, this, the stagnation, this
malaise, this apathy that's happening
and say to yourself, I am a creative.
I create things.
I'm going to create a better situation for
myself with the resources I have at hand.
If you're sad, think about what's
making you sad, why you're feeling
this way and accept the sadness.
And when I say accept, I
don't mean just cope with it.
I'm not about coping mechanisms.
When I say accept, I mean, acknowledge
and agree that you are feeling that way.
And that situation does exist.
You may be able to change it mentally,
but for now, just acknowledge it.
Once you've acknowledged it, then you can
go on looking into the reasons why it's
happening, come up with some solutions,
come to a certain state of resolve.
All the things I talked about in my
previous podcast about the six, um,
the four parts of being resolute,
but it's a dangerous thing when you
stop and say, I don't want to improve.
And that is the takeaway here.
That is a dangerous state of mind
because that is the antithesis of growth.
You are literally dying when you
stop trying to improve a situation.
That is where death starts to set in.
That is where stagnation will
take you to a comatose state.
That is when atrophy starts to set in, in
any of your muscles, your mental muscles,
your physical muscles, your spiritual
muscles, atrophy will start to set in.
The rot will start to leak in.
the bones will start to creak.
That's when you start getting rust
around the corners, when you decided
that I don't want to improve.
Whether you explicitly said it or not, if
you've just decided that you don't want to
improve in some area that you You feel you
should, or you used to think you should,
then you're in dangerous territory.
I just realized I had the starting
spoon banner still going on.
Don't mind it.
How about this banner?
Change that up.
Now we're getting somewhere.
So yes, this has been on my
mind and it's, it's tiring,
but that doesn't mean it's bad.
You put out more energy and you
receive less support many times when
you're trying to create something
new or different or improved.
It's a difficult process sometimes,
but one that you need to take on.
Use this time to reflect on yourself.
Use this time to, I mean, I say reflect,
it doesn't just because we're out
of 2023 doesn't mean we still can't
reflect you've got 12 months and I
know dates don't necessarily mean
anything in the, in the big scheme of
things, use the spirit of the calendar.
It just works.
Just think about this is
the beginning fresh start
acknowledge what happened in 2023.
Think about what went well and when
you can build from, think about what
didn't go so well and figure out what
you want to do with that information,
leave it behind, try again in a new way.
I'm trying, this is another version of the
podcast, so this is my evolution as well.
So yeah, think about
what's happening to you.
And actually think about why you're
feeling the way you're feeling.
This is one of the, this is one of the
primary differentiators between humans
and every other creature that we know.
We are able to think about thinking
there's a psychological term for that.
I forgot what it is, but we're able
to actually look outside of ourself
and think about how we're thinking
about what we're thinking about.
It's a high level mental process
that humans have that other
creatures don't seem to exhibit.
At least not at the level and
in the same magnitude as we do.
I don't think dolphins are
sitting around thinking, Wow, last
year was a great dolphin year.
I seem to have grown highly as a dolphin.
Um, maybe I should get my ish together
and stop hanging out with all the orcas.
They're kind of dangerous sometimes.
But I'm a dolphin and I'm growing.
Last year I, I didn't
grow as much as a dolphin.
They can't, these other creatures don't,
they think they're highly intelligent.
Sure, maybe.
Depending on what creature you're
talking about, but they don't think
about themselves the way we do.
And they certainly don't think
about thinking about themselves.
So use this ability that you have to think
about what you've been thinking about.
Honestly, when a post hits you and it
bothers you, don't just let it bother
you and say, Oh, I blocked that person.
Actually think about
why that bothered you.
Why some random series of letters flying
by On a virtual screen that's in your
pocket of all of the billions of messages
that get posted online every day.
That one is going to stop
you from having a good day.
It might not have even been
taken in the right context.
Why did that bother you?
Why did that upset you?
And I'm not saying I don't get upset
by certain things people say or
certain things that cross my screen.
But trust me, I've gotten so much
better by thinking about why I'm
feeling the way I'm feeling and
deciding to make an adjustment.
I've sat back and looked at things
that have happened and said, wow,
that really, that really got to me.
What did that mean?
Why did that happen?
The therapist will tell you this too.
You know what I mean?
You have to actually consider
what you're thinking about and
why you're thinking about it.
In fact, that's, that's why they.
That's why they're so valuable in
many cases, because they can act
as a mirror to your own thoughts.
A
lot of that you can do
yourself, is what I'm saying.
So even when you're not around your
therapist, if you have one, you can
start just questioning, Hey, that
was actually a pretty minor deal.
Why did that bother me?
Why did that trigger me?
Should I be triggered?
Maybe I should be angry about that.
Maybe I shouldn't, but just that actual
process of thinking about why you are
the way you are and why you do the things
you do and why you're not improving.
It's not to make you sad.
It's just to make you more aware
because once you're aware, then you
can actually start to do things and
you're not being pushed around by it.
The random winds of life,
the random currents of the
chaotic thing that we know, the
chaotically beautiful thing that
we know is life is happening.
So I don't want to, I don't want
to say too much here about this
point, um, that's already been said.
I'm just thinking about my own pathways
right now, the position I see myself in
and the path that will lead to the next
stopping point that will lead to the next
path that will lead to the next growth
point that will lead to the next path.
Currently it is, this is the podcast.
I will show up here most nights
of the week until I decide and
evaluate something different.
Right now it's going to
be audio only because.
Hey, lives aren't doing
that great right now.
I don't care.
Uh, this is what I feel
like doing right now.
If I feel like adjusting
into something else, I will.
They say I should be
posting a lot of reels.
Sure, reels take a lot more energy for me
than this, so I'm doing this right now.
If I feel I want to transition
into something later, I will.
But whatever.
This is all an experiment,
and that's all we can do.
Try out things, learn what worked,
and keep moving from there.
Don't get mad at the water for splashing.
Don't get mad at the wind for blowing.
Just understand that is what's happening.
Acknowledge it and do what you
can to make yourself feel better.
If anybody in the comments,
see some people on Instagram,
Facebook is kind of quiet tonight
and I'm on YouTube as well, kicking
out this multi stream thing.
But that's going to do
it for me for this one.
I want to improve these podcasts.
So please make sure you listen,
comment, let me know what you think.
Anything that I post here on the
social media streams will probably
be deleted short while after.
Or maybe not.
Or maybe I'll let them stay.
Um, some of these I don't like clogging
up my social media stream, so I'll
probably get rid of it on and we'll see.
I'll see what I'm going to do with it.
I haven't made all these decisions yet.
And you don't have to make
every decision right now.
Just figure out what works
and what doesn't, but that's
going to do it for this one.
Um, I want everybody to
stay creative out there.
Keep building the life that you
want to build because no matter
what the situation is, you have the
ability to create the choices in
your head and with your Facilities.
I really need to tighten that
up into a nice outro statement.
But for now, that's it.
All right.
Thanks See you later.
See you on threads