Whatever it Takes- Happier than yesterday

Whatever It Takes — the story behind 'Behind the Blonde'.

In this opening episode, I share the journey that brought me here:

Quitting drinking and facing the parts of myself I numbed for years…

Walking through divorce and finding love again…
Finding freedom in my body and my breathe and embracing my power

Healing from eating disorders…

Feeling lost, then choosing to build the life I once only dreamed of — a business, a blended family, an unapologetic voice.

This podcast is for anyone who has ever looked at their life and thought,

“I want something different… but I don’t know where to begin.”

The truth?

There is no magical finish line called “freedom.”

But there are small, powerful choices we can make —

one thought at a time,

one choice at a time,

one day at a time —

that move us closer to who we’re becoming.

If you’ve ever found yourself in the opposite place of where you want to be…

this is your reminder that transformation is possible — and you are capable of doing whatever it takes. ✨

What is Behind the Blonde?

For anyone who’s been in the opposite place of where they want to be 🩷
Real talk, raw truth and a little sparkle ✨ Kirby discuses sex, relationships, ditching alcohol and what it means to really be happy 🌸

Welcome to Behind the Blonde.

I'm Kirby Myers, and this is a
long time coming, to say the least.

I just got off the phone with my
brother who helped set up all of my

podcast equipment, and he's actually
getting a vasectomy later today.

So Corey, first and foremost, good luck.

You're gonna be just fine.

So behind the blonde is something that
I've been wanting to do for a while.

I have been sharing a lot of my
life's journey for as long as I can

remember, and my life has really
shifted in massive ways, especially

over the last five to seven years.

I'm gonna give you a little overview
of how my life has massively

shifted seven years ago, I left a
marriage that was very unfulfilling.

Very loveless.

I was extremely depressed.

I was highly addicted to alcohol.

I had two very small children,
and my life was not at all what

I thought it was going to be.

And I kept questioning,
is this, it is this.

All my life is.

And I could not grasp with that feeling.

I really could not sit alone at
night with my big glass of vodka,

multiple glasses of vodka most evenings,
um, to kind of put myself to sleep and

quiet my mind so I could get through
the days with two really small kids.

So I ultimately ended up leaving
my husband and simultaneously

meeting the love of my life.

Um, everything did not just
flip and fall into place at that

point, it has been a long road

but . I ended up leaving my husband.

Meeting the love of my life.

We had coffee in February.

My divorce was final from
my husband in August.

This was all in 2019.

And then I married my current
husband Brit in October.

So all in less than a year that happened.

We blended our family and now I.

Deb's son, Tristan as well, and
my two kids, Hudson and Dylan, and

a fur baby boomer who is probably
hiding under this couch somewhere.

I continued to drink for quite a while,
maybe about a year and a half until I

finally got rid of alcohol, which had
been holding me back for a long time.

I was really deeply addicted into
it, and I loved drinking until I

didn't, and I knew that it had a
grip on me and every night I would.

Every night I would go to bed and I
would look in the mirror and I would ask

myself, who could you be in this life
if you were a hundred percent present?

And I was desperate.

I mean.

Desperate to find that out.

So, I will be five years alcohol and
nicotine free come this April 25th,

which I am just, my mind is blown
that it'll be five years and my life

has exponentially just gotten better.

Each and every day.

Each and every year.

But it's been a hell of a
fucking journey to get here.

And I'm also really proud to
say that today I am like two

months without marijuana.

And I'm very pro like.

California sober.

We'll get into that in another episode.

I have nothing, against marijuana.

I think it's great for a lot of people
for a lot of reasons, but it was

something I realized I had to give
up as well because I just don't have

a moderate fucking bone in my body.

I don't, not a single moderate bone.

Um, so bulimia was something
that I dealt with a lot of my

life as well since the time.

I don't remember the first time
I binged and purged, but I was

definitely in my early teen years.

And it really has been until these last
couple of months removing marijuana.

That was my biggest catalyst
to do that, to finally rid

myself of my bulimic tendencies.

It had been a long time since I'd
purged, but I would find myself getting

stoned and overeating and then being
uncomfortable and having these thoughts

about wishing I could, you know.

Remove the food from my body,
I wouldn't, but it was still

that cycle of abuse with myself.

So as much as I wanted to say that four
and a half years ago when I removed

alcohol and stopped smoking, that I.

You know, got down this,
this path of wellness.

I did for a big part, but I was
still having these bulimic thoughts.

I was still having these cycles of
addiction with not being able to

moderate marijuana, telling myself,
that I was just gonna smoke a couple

nights a week and smoking every night.

And this is not a podcast
about addiction, by the way.

This is a podcast about life and
how it is a constant cycle of just.

Wanting to better yourself.

And if that's the mindset that you have
that every day you wanna be a better

version of the person you were before,
then you are living your best life.

Because I don't think there's anything.

As ultimate happiness or just,
there's certainly no perfect life.

We all know that, but there is
a point where you can get to

where you really do feel free.

And I think for the first time in my life,
I just turned 40 a couple of weeks ago and

I keep telling my friends and my family
that I am not having a midlife crisis.

I'm having a midlife awakening,
and I really feel that way.

I feel like I'm, for the first
time in my life coming into.

What I really want, what my soul really
needs, and the podcast is one of 'em.

I have been wanting to do this forever.

I've, it's called Behind the Blonde
because actually when I met my.

Current, my second and
forever husband as I call him.

, I took him a, a column that I had written
when I was deeply depressed in my first

marriage, drinking myself to sleep.

I had this kind of picture of a
perfect life from the outside.

I was a radio DJ for 16 years.

I was on the air.

I had these two beautiful kids.

I lived in this.

Big, beautiful house with my ex-husband.

We entertained all the time and
I loved posting all the Instagram

pictures where life just looked
fantastic and great and wonderful.

And people would come over and I'd
throw these great parties and make

these big charcuterie spreads and
homemade sangria, and everybody would

go home and I would sit on the porch
and just keep drinking my vodka.

Um, and it wasn't so perfect, but
I, I was really good at pretending

that it was so, I was tired of.

Pretending so I kind of got to the
end of my rope and I have always

loved writing, so I wrote a very, very
raw, piece about how I was drinking.

Too much depressed.

Anxious.

I was having panic attacks.

I was having to pull off the side of
the road on my way up to the radio

studio to literally have a panic
attack 'cause I couldn't breathe.

Um, and so I actually showed
this to my, my husband he's

the publisher of a newspaper.

And I wanted to put it in print.

I knew I could put it on social
media, but I felt like it was

important to put it in print.

We live here in Key West Florida.

Beautiful place, big tourist place.

People dream about living here
and, and we get to live here.

Um, but I was just.

I was just dying inside, and so I really
wanted to put it out there in the paper

because I felt like if I could help.

One person feel less alone or strip away
the veil of that, that perfect life, that

Instagram life than, than it was worth it.

And um, it was such a liberating thing.

And Britt was the one that
really encouraged me to

create a column out of it.

So the column became behind
the blonde and it was.

Behind the, the facade.

And from there I continued to write
about anxiety, depression, mom life,

bulimia, eating disorders, and you know,
blending families, going through divorce,

getting remarried, what that looks like,
all the hardships, opening a business.

I'm sitting in my boutique here,
Kirby's Closet, which has been my.

Dream forever.

And after I got divorced, I knew that
I needed to more than anything fill my

time up because all of a sudden I was
met with the very, very harsh reality.

It never even crossed my mind that I
wouldn't have my kids half of the time.

My ex-husband traveled a lot.

So he was gone most of the week.

So I just thought, yeah, I'd have my kids
the majority of the time, but Florida's

a 50 50 state and that's what we have.

And so being met with not having
my kids every day was like.

I mean, it's still, I mean, almost
seven years later when I don't

have them, I still literally
feel like a limb is missing,

Speaker 2: And I don't think
I'll ever not feel that way.

I mean, that's another thing.

As mothers, as women, I mean,
we are just fucking magical,

amazing, powerful, sensational
creatures, and we are superior.

Than men.

I mean, we are,

We give life.

I mean you wanna talk about the world
right now and the world being on fire

and everything falling apart, and men
always saying that women could never

rule because we're too emotional.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Look at these men.

I think if women ruled the world, we'd
actually have real peace and harmony

and we'd, we'd figured it out and, um.

We are just so, we're so capable.

We're constantly having to carry the
weight of the world on our shoulders

while doing a million things not
getting nearly enough sleep, balancing

it all, all while bleeding once a
month or going through menopause.

I mean, that's another thing.

I know so many of my friends at this age,
you know, going through perimenopause,

menopause, we have so many hormonal
changes, emotional shifts, and yet we

still have to keep it together, we're
freaking rock stars, and I hope you give

yourself credit for that because that's
something I've also, as I've gotten older,

realized that it's okay to also say.

I'm not okay.

Right now.

I have a massive bleed going on and I feel
terrible, and I'm gonna take a couple of

days to just let myself rest, let my body
reset, there's just so much as women that.

I don't think men could last
for even 24 hours as us.

So just remind yourself that you are
powerful, you are strong, you're amazing,

you're capable, and it's okay to give
yourself a little breathing room as well.

So with all of that said, this is
a podcast about a little bit of.

Everything.

And relationships too.

You know, I went from having a
relationship that was so unfulfilling

and I, I, I do believe, I feel like I
won the relationship lottery, finding

my soulmate, finding my person at some
of the, the deepest lows that I was at.

But again, it has been.

Work.

I don't think there's ever been a
question of whether this was my person

and I wanted to fight for him and
will fight for him every single day.

But, you know, I mentioned
drinking heavily.

We love drinking together.

We were big partiers together, so when
I removed alcohol, I didn't really

talk about it a lot before I did it.

I just kind of pulled the rug out from
underneath and was like, I'm done.

So that changed the entire
scope of our relationship.

That was a huge dynamic shift for us.

And he didn't quit drinking right away.

He pretty much has now he'll have a
beer here or there on the golf course.

I can't even remember the
last time he had a drink.

But that was major.

I mean, that, that shifted our entire
social life, everything that we did,

what our weekends looked like, what
our, our, you know, just night to night

looked like our whole social scene.

Um, and he'll say now that he's so
grateful that it happened, but it was.

It was, we went through hell and back.

If anything could have broken
us up, it would've been when

I quit drinking for sure.

And I'm gonna get him
on the podcast as well.

We'll talk about what that looks like.

I know I have a lot of women that
reach out and say, well, what if,

you know, I wanna quit, but my
husband's still a big drinker.

How does that work?

How did he feel?

Um, so getting his perspective on all of.

And sex.

I'm very open about the fact that I
think sex is so freaking important.

It is huge.

It's monumental.

And I also don't think we
should be shy about it.

I don't think it's something we
should not talk to our kids about.

Not be open about.

I think you should make out in front of
your children, um, don't be like gross.

Obviously you know, but like let them
know that that's natural and that's

normal and they wanna have a relationship
where they see mommy and daddy being

affectionate, or they see mom walk away
from a relationship that's not healthy

and not satisfying and not fulfilling.

I think so many times we stayed
together for the kids and I get it.

Like I freaking get it I understand
why people stay together for the kids.

I really do, but I don't think it's
the right decision because ultimately

your kids, you're raising them to
become capable humans that will then

leave you and go off and live their own
lives and then you're left with yours.

So you, you need to take care of yourself
first and foremost, always with that.

But I definitely wanna, you
know, talk about how important

sex is in a relationship.

I joke it's.

Called behind the blonde, and, my
husband was the one that inspired

this, and he now gets to be behind
the blonde pretty regularly.

We have a phenomenal sex life.

And, and I think that that's just,
you know, if you're not having

sex a couple of times a week,
you gotta, you gotta amp that up.

You've gotta make it happen.

And the more you have it,
the more you want it too.

If you go through phases where you're
not having a lot of it, you're kind of

like, eh, I could take it or leave it.

There's nothing more intimate.

And connecting and just soul
fulfilling than being in

that space with your partner.

So there's a lot of things that I
wanna cover on this podcast for sure,

but I do wanna leave you with this.

If I've learned anything in my 40 years,
it is to consistently be kind to myself.

I've always found being
kind to others, really easy.

But being kind to myself, really,
really kind to myself is something

I have to work on every day.

Giving myself grace, the power
of my breath has been huge.

I've gotten into power yoga and
my teacher Jolie has been like,

monumental for my life and just really
learning what it is to, to breathe and

look inward, and take moments each
day to reflect on what I really want

and being present and it's a practice.

I have to work on it every day.

I find those thoughts going and
starting to feel ungrateful or starting

to feel in a rut, or, oh my God, the
world's so expensive and everything's

on fire, and you know, you have to
shift and go back into that mindset.

And I even did a quantum healing
hypnosis session a year ago

and went into my past lives.

I mean, I'm just like, I'm willing
to do whatever it takes to be the

happiest version of myself possible.

And as I said earlier, there's no.

Ultimate happiness.

There's just a yearning and a
deep, deep, deep wanting to be that

best version of myself possible.

That version that said, the
reason I wanted to quit drinking

was 'cause I wanted to know how
I could show up in this world.

And if you're somebody that also
wants that, if you are continuously

wanting to grow and be better.

Then maybe this is a podcast for you.

So my favorite quote,
I'll leave you with this.

If it doesn't challenge
you, it doesn't change you.

I hope you enjoyed it.

You can always send me in questions
as well, and have a fabulous day.

Thanks for listening to Behind the Blonde.