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This week's episode continues the conversation on encouraging your mentees to be lifelong followers of Jesus. Join Zach and Stephen as they discuss the importance and the practicals of immersing your mentee into your community as well as the fruit that can come from it.
Show Notes
This week's episode continues the conversation on encouraging your mentees to be lifelong followers of Jesus. Join Zach and Stephen as they discuss the importance and the practicals of immersing your mentee into your community as well as the fruit that can come from it.
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:And welcome back to the UKID Mentor podcast. My name is Zach Garza, and I'm here with the murder
Speaker 3:dog. Hey, guys.
Speaker 2:Hey, guys. That's all you got?
Speaker 3:Hey. Hey.
Speaker 2:That's much better. And we are continuing our series on how to make our mentees lifelong followers of Jesus. So I'm excited about it. I feel like the last episode was pretty good. We talked about how to get our kids into church and why that is beneficial.
Speaker 2:So what'd you think about that episode, Steven?
Speaker 3:I thought it was legit. I was on it, and worship, scripture, and prayer cannot go wrong with those 3. Yeah. That's what I have to say about it.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. And today, we're gonna talk about connecting our mentees to other followers of Jesus and just all the benefits that can come that can come with that. So I'm excited. Steven's excited because he's on it, because he's humble, and it's gonna be a good one. So I just kinda wanna start out this episode by sharing a story.
Speaker 2:So I'm a big believer in mentoring in general, but whenever I first started to mentor, I kinda felt like it was all on me. Like, this is my kid, I'm his mentor, and it's up to me to make sure that they excel in life. Do great in school, go to church, go to college, have nice hair, just everything kinda fell on me. And what I've learned over the last 20 years of mentoring is I can do that and that works, but man, it is so much better whenever you work together. So, like, yes, I can introduce this mentee to some really cool things that I can help out in life, but I can also introduce him to my wife, and I can also introduce him to my neighbors and things like that.
Speaker 2:And there is just power whenever you work together. So there was this kid, whenever I was a football coach at a inner city school in Dallas, inner city is kind of a strong term, but it's a low income school. And there was this young man on my football team who was just a great young man, like, maybe didn't make the best grades and maybe gave some teachers some some issues, but I just loved the kid. His heart was solid gold. And we just really started to connect as I taught him in the classroom and coached him on the football field.
Speaker 2:Well, he graduated from 8th grade and he moved on to high school, and I found out about midway through his freshman year that he had gone out for the football team. But the 1st day of football tryouts, him and the coach got into it, and he took off his helmet, tossed it at the coach, and quit. 6 weeks later, he had dropped out of school and no one knew where this kid was. Mhmm. And that really broke my heart, 1, because I truly love this kid, but 2, because I didn't know about it.
Speaker 2:And I took that story and I tried to learn from it, and I thought to myself, I wonder if we could have saved this kid from the decisions that he was making if we would have had more than just my eyes on him. Right? And so that led to us making some changes in our mentoring program, and from then on out, I started saying, yeah, I I might be able to mentor this kid, but I'm gonna be really intentional about one more staff member getting to know him as well, and one more volunteer tutor investing into them as well. And I'm gonna make sure that a couple other people in our community at least know who they are and know that they're part of our program, and know that they're trying to do well. And I I can't help but think that if instead of just having one mentor, and yes, I could have been his main mentor, what if he had 6 adults who were quote unquote looking out for him?
Speaker 2:Well, I I think that it might not have taken 6 weeks for me to hear about it, and I think that we might have been able to step in and do a number of things. 1, we might have been able to facilitate a conversation between him and his coach. 2, we might have been able to save him from dropping out of school and making those decisions that are life all altering decisions.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And 3, just what if we just had as many people as possible supporting him, encouraging him, speaking life into him? Once a a mentee falls down, it's so much easier to pick him back up if there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of y'all. So so that that truly is how I go about mentoring now. Yes. A child might have one kind of primary mentor, but it is so much more effective, so much more impactful, and honestly, so much easier if there's more than 1, if there's 2, if there's 4, if there's 6.
Speaker 2:And so and so that's that's kinda how we got on this topic today, connecting our mentees to other followers of Jesus.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, it's kinda like, I mean, the importance of community, which we talked about church last week, and mainly focused on the the practices of encountering Jesus of worship, scripture, prayer. And now now we're kinda hitting on the community aspect of really being knit in. And as a as a mentor, we are usually looking at ourselves as we are the the thing that connects our boy. We we are the connector to whatever knowledge, whatever lessons we've learned, wisdom we've carried throughout throughout the years.
Speaker 3:And that's great. We can impart those things. But wouldn't it be better if we were a door into a web of relationships where we connected them to not just the things we've learned, but the people who taught us those things? Not not just going to church, but maybe meeting the pastor and scheduling some time. I know, obviously, I think when we talk about being kind of a networker and building social capital for the kids that we mentor, we're usually talking about the older kids.
Speaker 3:I I don't imagine a kindergartner you're mentoring a kindergartner, and you're like, hey, let me introduce you to my boss. Maybe you could do that. But but I think primarily thinking in junior high and high school, the way the world has run for the last, I don't know, since the Internet began. When was that? 97?
Speaker 3:I don't know. Who's the guy? Al Gore. Al Gore started the Internet.
Speaker 2:I don't
Speaker 3:I don't
Speaker 2:know if that's true. I got my first AOL account whenever I was in, like, 6th grade, so I'm not sure what the year was.
Speaker 3:But but there's just been a shift to disembodied relationships. And because of that, I think there are a lot more consequences that kids run into because of that failure or lack of relational strength skills, and all the things that you learn from a mentor, or a mentor can connect you to. And so when you talk about being a connector to relationships for a kid from a hard place, you may be the first person that's not only embodying relationship, but inviting them into a community of of adults, caring adults, followers of Jesus that that may influence them and teach them something that maybe maybe you didn't even learn and vice versa. I think I think what you just said, you talked about all the benefits for the kid. But I think all those 6, 7 adults that get into that kid's life, they're also being exposed.
Speaker 3:They're being challenged to grow as leaders. We always talk about one of our values at 4 Runner is always be growing. And really mentors are challenged and grow in their relationship with Jesus as they mentor and as they get in these kids' life. And so I think those benefits, we miss out on when we don't connect kids to the relationships that we fostered in our own community.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I I wanna connect my mentee to the best person that I know in any field that they're interested in. Like I wanna connect them to the best father. I wanna connect connect them to the best banker I know. I wanna connect them to the best singer I know.
Speaker 2:Just just more exposure, and I wanna do that for myself, I wanna do that for my own kids, and I wanna do that for my mentees. So so today, we're gonna really focus in on 4 areas or ways that you can connect your mentees to other Jesus followers. And I think just based upon what we talked about last week, there's a lot of connections that can be made in the local church. Mhmm. So taking taking your mentee to church every so often, every Sunday, that could be a great way just to expose them, not just to church itself, but to 100 of people that you know have the same heart of discipleship as you did.
Speaker 2:And it's just a great opportunity to get your mentee into into the same space with some some pretty dynamic and caring people.
Speaker 3:Zach, can I share a quote from a book that's right in front of me? This is from Abilene Christian University Press. I I I think you'll you'll like it just because of that.
Speaker 2:Go Cats.
Speaker 3:They bring up I I guess they do a lot of children's ministry over there, so they kinda know what's up, but they they bring up this point. I'll have to I'll have to speak in English after I say this phrase. They say they they talk about the need for belonging and identity to be created through legitimate peripheral participation. What the heck does that mean? That means young kids doing what adults do in church, connect, relate, ask questions, engage.
Speaker 3:I mean, I think there's so much room for us to invite students into the life of the church, not just put them in the kids ministry, but sit them down next to us, pray for them, ask them how their week was, take communion together. There there's just an emphasis upon we build identity through belonging and identity, but doing the things that are most important within a community. And so when we invite students into adult rhythms, it's it's very powerful, and and that is the same for the church.
Speaker 2:Boy, and just by taking your kid to church, you're getting them used to being in large crowds of people. And, like, hey. Like, watch me as I walk through the foyer and talk to 15 people, and Mhmm. Just say, hey. How's it going?
Speaker 2:You know? I'm gonna ask them about their family. I'm gonna ask them about, you know, something important that is going on. And so much more is caught than taught. And I think that your kid can pick up a whole lot more than just worship, scripture, and prayer in church.
Speaker 2:They can pick up on the need to be a part of, just like you said, a community, a family. So that's church. The kinda this subgroup of church is kind of our second group, and that is if you have a small group, home group, life group, just a more intentional, relational, like, hey, here is where we talk about our lives. Here's where we talk about things to celebrate. Here's where we talk about things that we're having a hard time with.
Speaker 2:And, hey, mentee, these are the 12 people that I quote unquote live life with. Right? So like I can remember one of my mentees, he was in 9th grade and he had a hard time with this relationship he was having with a girl. And he asked me about it and I spoke into it, but it was kind of one of those things that I don't think he really wanted to hear from me on that, or I just didn't have the correct words to say, or I wasn't saying it in the right way. But I called one of my good friends who was a part of my church small group, and I just said, hey, man.
Speaker 2:Could you take my mentee out for some ice cream or something and just kinda talk to him about this situation that he's having? And he said, yeah. Sure. And so he he came over and they went out. They came back about 2 hours later.
Speaker 2:And I asked my mentee, I was like, hey, man, how'd it go? And my mentee said, man, that that was exactly what I needed. And I don't really know what they talked about, but what I know is that my friend had the ability to speak into my mentees issue in a way that I just couldn't. And I was so thankful that I had that small group of people to really be able to say, Hey, look guys or girls. Like, hey.
Speaker 2:Look, home group. I'm having this issue, and I don't know what to do. Can anyone help me? And they're like, yeah. Sure.
Speaker 2:I would love to. So
Speaker 3:Come on. I love it.
Speaker 2:It has has has there been any way that your home group has has helped you and Katie out with, z or anything like that, Steven?
Speaker 3:I I think the main thing that I I've tried to model like, my life groups, I don't know about yours. I'm sure they're probably similar, but I think you've been in those groups where everyone's just like so humble. It's like crazy. They're like, oh, I'm a I'm a terrible father. I'm not a very good husband.
Speaker 3:I need y'all to pray for me so I can repent. And I don't wanna minimize those things because many of them are true. And I think when you come to a small group environment, those are usually the environments where you're actually able to talk about those things that you can't talk about in the big group. But I think just giving your mentees an opportunity to see humility amongst adults is just a very powerful thing to witness. And I don't I I can't think of very many opportunities you have other than a small group where where they'll see multiple people sharing, not just 1 on 1 where you're like, hey.
Speaker 3:This is something I'm struggling with, but, like, with the group. Hey. I'm struggling in my marriage, and, I'd love for you guys to pray for me. Those things, I don't think kids hear that at school. I don't think we necessarily unless unless you've kind of established that as a rhythm within your home, it's not common.
Speaker 3:We usually need an environment like that, a safe place in order just personally as adults to share. And so really giving our mentees the opportunity to experience that, and hear people confess that they're not okay, I think is really transformative, and and allows them to become vulnerable. I mean, that's usually what happens is that vulnerability begets vulnerability. And when somebody opens up, everybody else is allowed to.
Speaker 2:Well and I think being a part of a small group is also an fantastic opportunity for your mentee to see that there's more than one way to to live a life. Like, hey, I wanna introduce you to this couple. They got married whenever they were 22, and I wanna introduce you to this couple. They got married whenever they were 34, and I wanna introduce you to this person. They're in their mid thirties and they're single.
Speaker 2:I wanna introduce you to this person. Right? Like, they were on the mission field for 5 or 10 years, or I wanna introduce you to this person. Like, they went to college, I wanna introduce you to this one. They didn't.
Speaker 2:And it it is, it is just a great way to expose them to, hey, there's more than one way to be successful in life. Yes. You're more than willing, or you're more than welcome to follow my example, but check out Timmy over here. He didn't go to college, and he's doing fantastic for himself. Right?
Speaker 2:And so it is just like, I guess the best word that I can think of is exposure. It's your mentee is learning just multiple ways, just that there's more than one door that you can walk through towards towards success and towards becoming all that gut has for you. And so I I just think that's super important. And, yes, it'll be awkward. Yes, it'll be weird, but you just have to trust that, like, more is going on than what it looks like on the surface.
Speaker 2:Like, you have to trust that if you're putting your mentee in an environment with other Crest followers who are being open and sharing about their life, that he's gonna use that and that he's gonna teach them something, and he's gonna shape their heart, whether or not it looks like they're having fun. Right? Mhmm. So I think that that that's awesome. So you can connect your mentee to other followers of Jesus at church, connect them through small group or life group, and then the third thing is just through your friends.
Speaker 2:I think for me, and this is something that we've talked about on our podcast, it's important for your mentee to see you having fun and building other healthy relationships with your friends. And so it's like, I want my mentee to see me laugh and, like, not be super serious with my friends while we're watching a football game. Like, I want them to know that, like, hey, here is how a follower of Jesus has fun. Here's how a follower of Jesus relaxes, whether it's going camping, or going hunting, or watching sports or playing sports or or in a band. Just whatever you can do to expose them to, hey.
Speaker 2:This is what a healthy adult friendship looks like. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's really good. I I like the the idea of these different environments, that it doesn't just have to be this this Jesus environment or, like, explicitly, like, we're gathering because of Jesus, but very natural gatherings of, I hang out at the house to watch the Super Bowl, or, I mean, going out bowling or going to Topgolf, those kind of things, exposing them to every kind of environment that you interact with, and the people that you interact with.
Speaker 2:So like I I can remember whenever I got serious about my faith. And one of the things that kept me from getting serious about my faith early on was every Christian's boring. Like, every Christian's a nerd who does nothing but carry around their bible and tuck in their shirt, and they probably have a sweater vest on. And, like, you know that they have, like, their home combed over and apart for sure. But I I didn't wanna be a part of that.
Speaker 2:Right? Because I like having fun. And it wasn't until one of my friends who kinda led me to the Lord took me out of camp out with a bunch of other guys who were followers of Jesus. And I remember eating dinner and just, like, laughing with these guys, and it just hit me. I was like, man, this is actually a really good time.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that you could love Jesus and have fun. Right? Mhmm. And that's kind of a game changer. So I I I think it's important that we show our mentees just that side of of of faith, of following Jesus.
Speaker 2:Like, hey, there's a time to worship, there's a time to pray, there's a time to get into God's word, there's a time to be with other believers and help iron sharpen iron, but there's also a time just to hang out and encourage each other, and just to laugh and have joy. And the joy of the Lord is our strength, and it's okay to laugh and right? And it's also in those environments that, like, how many times has this happened to you, Steven? You're having a good time, and then all of a sudden someone asks a really deep and important question. Right?
Speaker 2:And it's like, oh, well, I thought that we were just hunting. But now they're asking about, you know, how to handle this issue. And so just giving your mentee a framework for, hey. Like, here's a safe and fun environment. So
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's usually in those environments that you you talk about what's going on in your life. And I I don't know about you, but any time I met with Z for, I mean, for most of junior high and half of high school, any time I asked him, how was your day today? Or, you know, like, the questions that you try to phrase in in a non yes or no way, but then inevitably, they become a one word answer. Like, as an adult, when someone asks how was your day today, as your friend, you might share something off the top of your head that happened that I would either was funny, was awesome, or was horrible.
Speaker 3:And and then you just spitball off of each other. And those conversations can be very fruitful for someone just to listen into and say, oh, okay. When he's asked me how my day was, this was the answer he was looking for. He just wants to hear about hear about me because he cares about me. And, I mean, I think sometimes that may be important that a kid might know not know how to answer those questions.
Speaker 3:So if you talk to someone else and expose him to what you're looking for, then then he can engage and interact.
Speaker 2:Well and it's the thing that comes to mind, Steven, is that, like, you know, I've heard it said that, you know, if you're a female, you connect best face to face. If you're a male, you connect best side to side. And it's it's just always from my, from my experience, it's always kind of more comfortable when you're doing something together as guys. And so like, you're probably not gonna go out to coffee with your mentee, who's like a junior in high school and be like, So tell me everything. Right?
Speaker 2:Like that might not work. That might work for girls, but for boys, maybe not so much. So, yeah, I I think everything that you're saying is spot on, buddy. So
Speaker 3:Are you saying that the thing we're doing right now is we're doing a podcast side to side?
Speaker 2:I mean, technically on Zoom, we are side to side, but yeah. So okay. Okay. So we talked about church, talked about small groups, talked about friends. And then last, I think that this is a really cool, like, Paul Timothy type deal, but exposing them to your mentors, exposing them to the important people who have shaped and molded you to the person who you are today.
Speaker 2:I think that that's awesome. Like, I I can remember that I was mentoring a young man back in Dallas. I guess he wasn't that young. You know, I'm close to 40. He's a couple years below me, but he was a kind of a new follower of Jesus.
Speaker 2:And we were having breakfast just talking about his marriage and talking about talking about the word, and we met every Thursday morning. It was awesome. But I look over and at the table, a couple spots down is the guy who mentored me and the guy who mentored him. Wow. So I took the guy that I was investing into and I said, hey, man, let's go say hi to these people.
Speaker 2:And I was like, hey, guys, here's Scott, you know, I just want you to know Scott that this is my spiritual father, and this is my spiritual grandfather. And like, we all started to love to laugh because we're all kind of the same age, but it is just so cool whenever you're able to kinda 1, show the people that invested into you, that you're passing it on. Right?
Speaker 3:But
Speaker 2:2, exposing your mentee to someone that you know and someone that you trust and allowing them to speak into them as well. And so it kinda goes back to the first point, exposing and connecting and just putting your mentee in into a space and an environment with as many Jesus followers as possible, to encourage them, to equip them, to show them multiple ways of following Jesus or multiple ways of being successful. So I just think that that's awesome.
Speaker 3:That that one just connects all the dots of of just the importance of mentorship, the importance of discipleship, and having someone that's investing into you and realizing that even probably what's communicated within that is that the expectation is for them to one day Mhmm. Be a mentor, for them to invest in the next guy because they see, oh, okay. I'm like one of of many that have been mentored. Maybe this is my calling as well to bring someone else to the table.
Speaker 2:Yeah. For sure. So Steven's if you guys have been following our podcast at all, then you know that my mentor is this guy named Steve Allen. And Steven Murray, early on, whenever we both worked together at 4 Runner, I introduced you to Steve Allen. So can you just kinda share what that was like just knowing that you were talking to my mentor even though I was kind of mentoring you?
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean well, first, it was just a lot of fun even just getting to hear him say phrases that I've heard you say. It's it's like just recognizing that you've picked up language and you've picked up culture and practices from those that have taught you. And it kinda demystifies it a little bit. And that can, on one level, be like, oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Like, I say that in a good way. It's like, oh, okay. Like, when we impart something, someone can run with it as if it's theirs. And it makes me think about how many people have repeated or are doing the things that they've seen in me. Like and that's like powerful to to consider.
Speaker 3:And I don't know if Steve necessarily knows all of that because he can't see it. And so it was it was also encouraging for me to be able to honor him for the way that he's poured into you because I know that I've naturally received from him because of that. So that was meaningful for me.
Speaker 2:Well, what's actually funny, Steven, is you guys have heard if you've been checking out our podcast for a while, Pastor John Bauer has been on our podcast before, and he was my pastor, and he invested into me for years, spiritually. And he always used the phrase, vulnerability begets vulnerability. And just on this podcast, I heard you say that. And as soon as I heard you say that, I was like, He's gotten that from me, and I got that from John. So
Speaker 3:That's fun.
Speaker 2:It was cool. There's a book out there. It's called The Making of a Disciple by by a guy named Keith Phillips. And it's an older book. It's not super popular, but there is this section in the book about how to make disciples, which that that is what we're doing as we mentor.
Speaker 2:We're we're making disciples. And he said that you won't truly know if you've been successful as a disciple maker until the person that you discipled makes a disciple who makes a disciple. And what he says there is it's like, okay, the first step is you're investing into one other person, But the next step is you have to have invested into that person in such a way that they go and they invested to another person.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But you won't truly know if what you've done catches until that third generation goes and makes a 4th generation. Because we're not here just to make disciples. We're here to make disciples who make disciples, who make disciples. And that's how we're gonna start a discipleship movement through mentoring. And I'm super passionate about that.
Speaker 2:So yeah. And and just like, it isn't ever gonna hurt to introduce your mentee to someone who is further along than you, whether it's spiritually, or in experiences, in age. Like one of my mentors, he's 92, and anyone would benefit from getting into contact with him, because he's just such a godly guy. And honestly speaking, how many older people do our mentees know? Like maybe your mentee doesn't know anyone over the age of 60, or know anyone over the age of 70, or just further along down the road than you are.
Speaker 2:So
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, outside of grandparents, why would he?
Speaker 2:Exactly. Right. So kinda funny. But alright. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, anything else, Murdoch?
Speaker 3:I mean, I I just think it's it's beautiful to think about mentorship creates legacy, and I think legacy is like 2 things. This is probably a Chris Valeton idea, but I've just I heard a message where he was talking about, you know, in the book of Hebrews, there's all these, like it's kinda like the hall hall of hall of faith or whatever where it's all these people who received promises but did not receive them, but they received them in faith. He makes the point. He's like, we need to recognize that we're a part of their lineage, and their promise is is really weird. We get to walk in it, and we have some level of responsibility to the past generation to to walk in what they carried and didn't receive.
Speaker 3:But then also, we have a responsibility to the next generation of passing off what we learned and imparting to them and calling to remembrance what we've what we've received. And so in a in a very real way, that is a motivation. That gives you purpose. That gives you identity. That is formational.
Speaker 3:And if and if a mentee can pick up that they're a part of this creator story, that they're not the center of the story, they're a part of this this history of relationship with God where people have gone before us, imparted to us, and we're gonna impart it as well. I mean, what you just shared about the 4 generations is like exactly what Paul said. 2nd Timothy 22, The things you've heard from me and trust to faithful men who will teach others for generations. And I I think that that like, when we talk about lifelong follower of Jesus, that is what we're talking about. Somebody who finds that they're a part of this big story, and and and get to receive and then pour it out and give it away.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I think that any of these practices would be helpful. And that really wisdom wisdom is not just experience, failure, things we walk through, those definitely teach us. The wisdom is also seeking out adults, seeking out the wise, and learning from them, garnering wisdom. And if we can teach our mentees how to do that, not just from us, but from those in our community and others, I think that skill will pay dividends forever. And so I think that's what we're going after.
Speaker 3:And so anybody listening, you can find one practical from what we just talked about last week. It's worship, scripture, prayer. This week, it's relationships. Who are you connecting them to, who also follows Jesus, who could impart something new to them that maybe you couldn't. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I love it, Zach. That's all I
Speaker 2:got. And towards it's not all on you. Be intentional about sharing the load and you never know. Your mentee might learn a brand new concept from someone other than you, And that person, your neighbor, your friend, your person you sit next to a church or who is in your small group, their lives might be changed because they had a part to play in allowing this matinee to know Jesus and for their life to be transformed. So it takes a village.
Speaker 2:There's many hands that make light work, and that's all I got. You can mentor.