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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: It's Monday, May 18, 2026, and you're listening to 'Happening in Upland', the only podcast that treats this city with the mix of reverence and utter contempt it deserves.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, here to tell you that if you're looking for professional, unbiased journalism, you've definitely clicked on the wrong link, you absolute dickhead.
MARK: We've got a lot to get through today, mostly because the city keeps trying to pretend everything is fine while we all just slowly bake in the Inland Empire sun. Seriously, it's May, and I'm already seeing people treat the shade of a single palm tree like a holy sanctuary.
JOLEEN: Upland is basically just one giant parking lot with nice trees and a lot of people wondering why their property taxes are so high. But hey, we love it here, or at least we're too lazy to move to Claremont. You can reach us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com if you've got something to bitch about, which I know you do.
MARK: First off, the city launched this new app called 'UplandConnect' on May 11. They're acting like they've just invented fire. It's an app, people. It lets you report a pothole or pay your water bill without having to talk to a human being who clearly hates their life.
JOLEEN: I downloaded it. It's great if you want to feel like you're doing something while the city ignored your request for the next six months. It's basically a 'scream into the void' button for your smartphone. They're so proud of it, though. They held a whole digital ribbon-cutting ceremony. It's adorable.
MARK: Speaking of actual ribbon cuttings, the Upland Woman's Club is hitting a century. Tomorrow, Tuesday, May 19, they're celebrating the 100th anniversary of their clubhouse on North Second Avenue. 1926 to 2026. That's a lot of tea and probably a decent amount of light treason.
JOLEEN: Think about it, Mark. Those women have seen everything. They've seen the citrus groves disappear and the strip malls rise. They've survived the Great Depression and the invention of the TikTok dance. The open house is from five to seven PM. I might go just to see if they've got any of that 'original recipe' punch from the twenties. You know, the stuff that actually made you feel something.
MARK: I'm sure they'll have some lovely lemon-flavored refreshments. It is Upland, after all. If it doesn't taste like a yellow fruit, we're not interested. But seriously, a hundred years is impressive. Most buildings in this town don't last twenty minutes without being turned into a drive-thru Starbucks.
JOLEEN: It's a historical landmark for a reason. The ribbon cutting is at five-fifteen. If you're looking to rub elbows with the local elite--which in Upland means people who own a riding lawnmower--that's the place to be. Just don't track mud on the carpet or you'll probably get hit with a very polite, very sharp knitting needle.
MARK: Moving on to something less refined, we've got a City Council meeting tonight at six. If you've ever wanted to watch five people argue about the color of a curb for three hours, get down to Euclid Avenue. It's the best free theater in town, assuming you find bureaucratic incompetence funny.
JOLEEN: I'm sure they'll talk about the 1.1 million dollar budget gap again. It's funny how we're 'finding our footing' while the money just keeps disappearing into the asphalt of Foothill Boulevard. But hey, at least we've got an app now! That'll solve everything.
MARK: Let's talk about crime, or the lack thereof, depending on who you ask. The city's been pushing this 'Butterflies in May' thing. It's an event on May 20 and 21. It sounds like something a serial killer would name their manifesto, but apparently, it's just a nature program for kids.
JOLEEN: Butterflies? In this economy? We've got catalytic converters being ripped out of cars faster than you can say 'monarch migration', and we're focusing on winged insects. It's precious. I'm sure the butterflies are very safe. The rest of us? Not so much. Lock your shit up, people. The butterflies won't save you.
MARK: Well, the police did have a busy week with some traffic enforcement. I saw some reports of lane closures on the I-10 near Benson and San Antonio for the Express Lanes project. Usually, that's just an excuse for three cops to stand around a orange cone while one guy actually digs a hole.
JOLEEN: It's a classic. I'm more concerned about the theft patterns. Upland's favorite pastime isn't baseball; it's 'What happened to my Amazon package?'. I guess the city thinks if we look at enough butterflies, we'll forget that our porch looks like a target for porch pirates.
MARK: The school district is actually doing something interesting for once. They've got this 'Designing Our Future' plan. Upland Junior High is basically being rebranded as an intermediate arts academy for grades four through eight. Because nothing says 'future success' like a twelve-year-old with a ukulele.
JOLEEN: Actually, it's a smart move. They're trying to stop the bleeding. Enrollment is down twenty percent across the region because people stopped having kids when they realized a studio apartment costs three grand. So they're turning the school into a 'creative hub'. It's basically a way to keep the lights on without admitting the town is aging faster than a banana in the sun.
MARK: They're making it a team effort, apparently. 'Change happens in community'. That's code for 'We don't know what we're doing, so please don't sue us'. But hey, if it gives the kids something to do besides vaping behind the gym, I'm for it. Let them paint some murals. Maybe they can paint some fake trees on the concrete.
JOLEEN: I love the optimism, Mark. It's almost cute. But seriously, the U'College Academy has 57 seniors graduating soon, and twenty-five of them are first-gen college students. That's actually impressive. It's nice to see some kids in this town doing something besides causing trouble in the Colonies.
MARK: Graduation is coming up on June 3 at the Toyota Arena. If you're planning on going, leave now. The traffic on the 10 will probably take you the next two weeks to navigate. And remember, no helium balloons. The arena staff will tackle you like a linebacker if you try to bring in a 'Class of 2026' Mylar balloon.
JOLEEN: I'm more interested in where those graduates are going to eat. Probably The Heights Restaurant & Bar. We checked it out recently. It's on North Campus Avenue. It's got a 4.7 rating, which in Upland means it's basically a Michelin-star establishment compared to the local Taco Bell.
MARK: I had the 'Black and Bleu' burger there. It was actually decent. The blue cheese was pungent enough to clear out my sinuses, which I appreciated. The atmosphere is very 'I'm a successful middle-manager who enjoys a craft beer after a day of firing people'.
JOLEEN: I liked the Ahi salad. The wasabi dressing actually had a kick. Usually, wasabi in Upland is just green-dyed horseradish that's given up on life. But the service was the real star. The waitress didn't even roll her eyes when I asked for my third refill of iced tea. That's a five-star experience right there.
MARK: The decor is homey and cozy. It's the kind of place where you can take your parents and they won't complain about the music being too loud. It's not cheap, though. You're looking at twenty to thirty bucks a person. But hey, it's cheaper than a divorce.
JOLEEN: Barely. But if you want a decent steak or some beef ribs that don't taste like shoe leather, it's a solid choice. Just don't go on a Friday night unless you enjoy standing around a lobby for forty minutes with people who think 'business casual' means wearing their nice flip-flops.
MARK: Let's pivot to sports. The Upland Highlanders baseball team actually pulled it off. Last week, on May 14, they beat Riverside Poly seven to four in the first round of the CIF Southern Section Division 4 playoffs. It was a hell of a game. They actually looked like they knew which end of the bat to hold.
JOLEEN: Seven to four? That's a respectable score. It's better than the softball team, who got absolutely demolished by Etiwanda earlier this month. Thirteen to four. That wasn't a game; that was a crime scene. But the boys are keeping the dream alive. They're moving on in the bracket, probably facing some team from Orange County that has better hair and more expensive gloves.
MARK: That's the Highlander spirit. We might not have the biggest budget, but we've got heart and a very loud cheering section. I expect to see the stands full for the next round. Just remember, if you start a fight with the umpire, you're on your own. I'm not bailing you out.
JOLEEN: The girls soccer team won the Baseline League Championship too, so Upland is actually having a bit of a sports renaissance. It's weird. Usually, our biggest athletic achievement is making it to the front of the line at the Farmers Market on Saturday morning.
MARK: Speaking of the Farmers Market, it's happening this Saturday, May 23, from nine to two. It's your weekly chance to buy an organic tomato for the price of a small car. But hey, support local, right?
JOLEEN: And it's Memorial Day weekend. Monday the 25th is the holiday. I'm sure Red Hill Park will be packed with people who don't know how to operate a charcoal grill. If you enjoy the smell of burnt hot dogs and the sound of someone else's Bluetooth speaker, it's the place to be.
MARK: I'll be staying inside with the AC on. It's going to be in the low eighties all weekend. Today is eighty-two. Tomorrow is eighty-five. It's a slow climb into the pits of hell. We've got morning clouds though, so you get about twenty minutes of false hope before the sun decides to try and kill you.
JOLEEN: Wednesday and Thursday are sticking in the low eighties. It's actually decent weather for May. Usually by now, the air is so thick with smog and heat you can chew it. But this week? It's almost... pleasant? I hate it. It makes people think everything is okay.
MARK: Don't worry, the road construction will remind you that life is pain. The Foothill Boulevard project is still ongoing. They're calling it a 'rehabilitation'. I call it a 'fourteen million dollar obstacle course'. They're repaving from Benson all the way to Reading Way. They say it'll be done soon for the Route 66 Centennial, but I'll believe it when I'm not bottoming out my car on a manhole cover.
JOLEEN: Mayor Velto was out there interviewing workers recently. He looked so happy. Probably because he doesn't have to drive it every day. They're replacing copper pipes and sewer lines. Copper! In Upland! I give it three days before someone tries to dig it up and sell it for scrap.
MARK: They're also doing work on Mountain Avenue. Hydrant laterals. It's basically a fancy way of saying they're going to block your commute for the next three months. If you're headed north-south, just... don't. Take the 10. Wait, the 10 has closures too. Just stay home. Forever.
JOLEEN: Good advice. Unless you're trying to buy a house. The real estate market is still a joke. The median list price is sitting around seven hundred and nineteen thousand dollars. For that price, you can get a three-bedroom ranch that hasn't been updated since the Woman's Club was founded.
MARK: Homes are sitting on the market for fifty-one days. Last year it was forty-four. People are finally realizing that paying three-quarters of a million dollars to live near a freeway isn't the flex it used to be. It's a 'seller's market', which is realtor-speak for 'we're still going to overcharge you, but you'll have to wait a little longer to feel the regret'.
JOLEEN: Inventory is up a bit, though. Nearly two hundred active listings. If you've got seven hundred grand burning a hole in your pocket and you really want to pay a six-point-five percent mortgage rate, Upland is waiting for you with open arms and a lot of dry rot.
MARK: But hey, it's home. It's our beautiful, sarcastic, pothole-ridden home. We love it. Mostly. If you don't love it, well, there's always Rancho. But then you'd have to deal with Victoria Gardens, and nobody wants that much walking.
JOLEEN: Exactly. Stay in Upland. Support your local Woman's Club. Eat a burger at The Heights. And for the love of everything holy, don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us how much we suck. It's the only thing that keeps us going.
MARK: Reach out to us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We're looking for your stories, your complaints, and your best 'I survived the Foothill construction' anecdotes. We'll be back next week to talk more shit about the city we can't afford to leave.
JOLEEN: Take care, Upland. And try not to get heatstroke while looking for butterflies. You look like an asshole with that net anyway.