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Victrix pole-vaults forty feet with a glaive to stab a tentacle. Rahua tries to Tame Animal it and fails. Past the fight, the Grotto bends into the Squelchfoot farm — Radaman raiders, a dying mother's speech about destiny, a rot that's been eating Picturn from the inside since episode one. The halfling cracks. Rotdadimus rises.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
Guest
Guest
Guest
What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all right everyone are you ready for another exciting episode of run grind
yeah
i was like the wonder
he made a pizza and beat off a minotaur
excuse me
you got a problem
i was like the wonder
i was like the wonder when uh if someone's ever i think i said done this before i don't remember that like someone's in their car and they're like oh man this this this podcast really cool guys are rock grind you should really listen to them like yeah okay man cool and then they put us on and then that shit happens every time we scream they're like this is a podcast it's not professional i'm like no we're very professional
you're gonna put some zara shit on are you i want to ask you something real quick and it's because i didn't bring this up last time it's because i forgot about it can you please increase victrix's slice size slightly you currently have her being smaller you have her being smaller than volley and i'm like that's not correct absolutely
victrix is actually a halfling is leaning down like hey little guy i hate this chat
yeah when victrix was in prison she was cursed with an enchantment that like slowly reduces her overall square cube mass by like point of time
there you go
she still takes up the same relative space that she normally would but there's like an invisible barrier around her now
well you need to see you're bigger now you know you're bigger and hard than inside
zoran the bear
victrix the flea
for the context for the podcast people like shrunk down uh the little representation
you made victrix small
i'll make it smaller
you're on top of the logo now
she's just a little guy
victrix is actually crying she is sobbing in her trailer what is wrong with you
oh look
victrix is small enough uh thurston i'm gonna use pet cash
there you go
yeah
i'm gonna use dominate creature and pet cash
there you go
how's that
that's fine that's fine sure
is it fine
yeah sure whatever dude you're gonna get me with the rake later anyway
anyway hi everybody welcome to rock ryan
we're this is our amazing tabletop rpg show where we play pathfinder second edition with a bunch of nerds and a bunch of crazy people all at the same time
i am your host zorn the bear and i am joined by a bunch of amazing individuals that bring you the show
bring you a bunch of laughs and amazing stories starting off with odoroshi
hello it's me odo uh allegedly we play pathfinder second edition i don't know what you guys are playing but right now i'm playing gURPS
uh and in gURPS
uh and in gURPS
the system changes every time
exactly
no you wait
i play uh vali the sylph swashbuckler
the next uh we have our ever stalwart hulky crow
that's me i am hulky crow sometimes insane mostly stupid today i'll be playing the kinrasu cleric rahula and i am so so excited that we've finally transitioned over to best friends
and speaking of bestes of friends one of them is erindel currently playing his victrix
yeah i am my name is erindel and i am playing uh sir victrix corlos uh she is not friends with these people and in fact her patience for them except for vali is dwindling rapidly
but that's a good thing because you don't want her to be your friend because she's not very good
and of course next up we have the leader of the revolution speaker d
oh yes i will be playing tannhauser the cybernetic revolutionary the the murderer the the guy he's so cool and the difference between you and me is that i can breathe in space and you can't
start a scream of course and once again i am zorn i am playing oran the strict steward
and uh of course the one who is you know also as a reminder everybody we're level seven
in case people uh forgot the last two times we said it on some of the podcast stuff
that uh we are we are level seven for context so everyone can go speculate what our builds are
put them in path build and be like what are they what feats do they have and speaking of amazing feats
we have our resident game master thurston hillman
i left five minutes ago
i mean hi i hurt myself today
i look forward to playing games with these these chuckleheads
chuckleheads it's gonna be fun
we're chuckleheads today we've been upgraded
oh no no no no no no no just just what i start with you know once i do the intro then i then i go into the full like proper destined chucklefuck spiel
he knows he can't because if he does victrix will go to his house and steal his pets and sell them for large sums of money on the internet
i'll put her in the pipe
she'll find her way out
she's been in worse places
she's small enough to fit in the pipe now
i'm going to strangle you
we're gonna start sending what adventure do you have for us today
well
last time our band of destined chuck fuck see there it is scoured the blaze camp in the swamps discovering the children of the blaze had been attacking caravans sent from the city of outset to provide supplies to the local kaibu's the settlements of the twang folk the sort of nomadic people who live in the the swamplands outside of outset
though what they found was though these caravans were attacked the stored supplies were mostly like some scattered gold but it seems like the blaze presence wasn't actually taking anything of value or note from the caravans in fact seem to be destroying elements of it they interrogated
they interrogated eith a knoll friend who they uh managed to convert following a crisis of faith and then conversed with an ashen simulacrum of mr lort the mysterious leader of the children of the blaze
mr lort indicated he was leaving for a while held no animosity to the players clearly that plot threat is done and will never come back ever again
uh however a little vague threat on happenings and outset and baldrick's own home shook the party's resolve somewhat so from there they returned to the kaibu of the sodden earth where they opted to split up some continued on to meet the enigmatic ribius and assist those in the party who had been suffering from the rot while others traveled to the city of uh outset those traveling to outset included baldrick
and a returned dude um and they made their way back to the city led by tashti the uh remains of the group headed to the grotto which was several days away uh there they met the divine avatar known as ribius um and they they encountered ribius who spoke to them and looks like this here have it for for non non podcast people
uh yes this this immense uh three-mouthed toad creature um and there when they they spoke with him he indicated that um in order to sing the song to soothe the rot on those who are touched by auntie drown the third mouth would need to sing but the third mouth was in some sort of torpor caused by something deeper in the grotto so the pcs traveled in
where they found offerings left about and then were blocked by water on both uh potential exits from where they were orin and rahua scouted ahead rahua discovered a change in reality as the rot appeared to manifest within the cave uh they he defeated the corruption before it took physical form and then returned along with orin to the party and the group opted to travel more cautiously continuing on
right into the waiting tentacle of some unknown strange creature and we're actually going to um begin today's session here
right right in this event here
oh is this a scientific name
yeah the da fuck what um this this tentacular creature uh which currently has now grabbed
uh orin i would like everyone here to uh set yourselves up in the combating mode
and uh roll yourselves some initiative we're diving right in everybody
let's get right into it
right into it
initiative uh this is going to be perception
why did it put me on stealth
holy shit 35
to refresh very quickly because the game was missing up for me
oh fuck
is there a cat's for me
uh-huh
uh-huh
oh i did it stealth my bad hold it
yeah it switched it automatically to stealth for some reason
that we we probably had it on stealth at some point i forgot to put it back
oh yeah
it's okay
probably for the last combat encounter
yeah yeah
where you actually prepared
actually it's the exact same number
right roll
oh beautiful
so beautiful
so we don't even change it
whoopsie
whoopsies
to stay
oooker
but as
sorry about
that's okay
as we're doing it i'm grabbing up at her
And he's like grabbing at Ruhua.
And he's like grabbing at Ruhua.
Earned a B-teamer.
You shouldn't be doing that.
What do you mean?
Can you please have her be called Victrix?
I'm gonna kill you.
I could.
I could.
All right.
All right, there, I've updated the participants list.
Thank you.
You get to start off, so you see that
or something is happening far out along the waterways
or has been clearly in some kind of distress
and has been grabbed by something.
Vik is just kind of eyeing all of this
with a general kind of apathy for a moment.
Hey, that's something that's happening, isn't it?
Help.
You guys want me to do that or, you know?
I mean, do you want to kill a giant octopus?
I mean, you could be awesome if you wanna,
but if you want to stand back here
and, like, pick your nose or something.
Hey, listen, I would love to kill the shit out of that thing,
but, you know, I wouldn't want to get in your guys' way
or annoy you with my barbarism.
Kill the fucking-
Aw, would you do it for me, Vik?
It's like, well, that's more than six seconds.
Next round.
No, it's a joke.
Stick with it, fuckboy.
I know, I know, I know.
He's fucking adding to the moment as he's fucking dying
to the whatever tentacle.
When is someone going to explain to me what an octopus is?
You've never seen an octopus?
Yeah, what the fuck?
Or an-
Well, if you put it like that, sure, fine.
I'm digging in.
Aw.
He's going to run forward.
25.
One, two, three, four, five.
Uh, if I do that and then do a-
Can I do a long jump and attack, or do I have to-
What's the deal with long jump again, Thurston?
Because I cannot reach that thing by running this whole way,
but I would love for her to jump at it and try to attack it.
Yeah, so a long jump is two actions.
Um, so you- you would stride for two.
Um, like, sorry, you stride, so you'd take a normal move,
which you've done here, and then you make a horizontal leap.
Um, it's equal to the total, uh, distance you're attempting to leap,
but you can't leap farther than your speed.
So, like, you can't leap 40 feet.
Bullshit.
I'm sorry you can't bend space-time.
I can do it.
Uh, I can, because if I narratively declare that, can I?
You could.
I- I would- I would allow it, sure.
Can I narratively declare that she's going to long jump 40 feet
and attempt to strike this thing?
I will give you the biggest, longest bomb, uh,
with a narrative declaration, as Victrix somehow has a, like,
20-second conversation and then jumps.
I will allow this, because I am-
40-point vertical leap.
I am- I am a beneficent GM.
Oh, so beneficent.
Listen, she's using-
She's using her-
So good.
She's using her glaive as a, you know, that, that pole jump thing,
you know?
Mm-hmm.
She's just going to leap.
So how do I do this, Thurston, with these added modifiers?
Uh, so what you'll do is you will go to where you want to position,
so here, bop.
Um, you will give me an athletics check.
Boy, it is time for me to do athletics.
Those bullies won't bother me now.
I'm flying toward your plane, I'm feeling.
20.
20 is reasonable, it's not going to cause any problems.
You're gonna, with the narrative declaration,
you are going to go sailing through the air, you're going to land,
and you can make one strike on this creature.
Or the tentacular limb of this creature.
You just see her sprint off immediately,
and then stick the glaive in the ground and soar through the air,
and then, probably miss, but it would be funny if she hit.
Be very funny if I hit for 31.
Uh, that will definitely hit.
Yay!
Save me!
You just hear her scream.
I live for this shit!
And then scream.
I'm glad somebody's having fun.
Yeah, at least someone's liking shit.
How much damage did you get?
I got 15, Zorin!
Wow!
And a persistent bleed, as the tentacular limb is bleeding,
but still clutching onto Orin.
Oh yeah, do I fall in the water at this point?
At this point, you will now be in the water.
I'll put grabbed on me, here you go.
Oh, sorry, yeah, I thought it went, eh, well there we go.
Um, yeah, very good, very good.
Okay, um, so yes, at this point you would need to make, uh, swim checks, so.
Alright, I make a swim check.
You don't make a swim check now, you will during subsequent rounds,
you have to basically spend actions to swim.
Um, but because you made a cool leap, you, you land.
Alright, uh, that's it for Victrix?
Yeah, she's done. Moving on.
Alright, Tanhauser, you are the up.
Alright, foreseeing the problems of having a large tentacular creature drag and drown,
uh, many of our number, and knowing that Rahua is a tree and Orin can turn into a fish,
uh, Tanhauser is going to walk to here, place his hand out,
Vali, go now!
And I'm going to cast, uh, Freedom of Movement upon Vali.
Uh, so that way, if she gets graved, she cannot be drownded and ruin the entire reason we came here!
Yay!
Aw, thanks, Tanhauser.
It's okay, I do it because I care! Now kill that weird fish!
Alright, I'm on it.
Alright, and that's the turn.
Okay, cool. Uh, well, then that brings us to Vali.
Okie dokie. Um, so, I have a question for you, Thirstian, about the feet.
Alright.
I do have the powerful leap feet, so what is the, uh, horizontal leap distance I can get?
Uh, it increases it by five.
Okay, so, you are doing a horizontal jump.
I love that we're exploring all of the avenues of jumping today.
Yeah, it's just our thing today.
Alright, so you're doing a long jump.
Um, the DC of the athletics check is equal to the total distance in feet.
So, like, in, in, you know, um, Victrix's, I kind of doubled it because of, you know, ooh, narrative declaration.
Um, but so, in your case, um, you get, let's see, what is, what is that?
You said you had...
Oh, that's 60 feet.
Yeah, but you also move, uh, very fast, right?
I do move very fast. Uh, without panache, I'm at 35 feet.
You just picked turn as the pole jump.
Uh, so, where did you get the powerful leap? There it is. Okay.
Uh, I got it from the, uh, the combo feet slip with the beast.
Yeah. Um, yeah, you can also do a long jump as a single action instead of two.
You just don't, um, you just don't do the, uh, you just don't get through the, like, the stride with it, which is, you know, fine.
Actually, quite honestly, what you could do is probably, like, stride out to here and then leap into the deep water.
Um, and then just...
The white water is, uh, like...
It's, it's like, it's, it's not, like, full, full deep water, right?
Like, it's, it's gonna hamper you, but you've got still more than enough movement to do that.
Um, so really, you'll get out to about, like, y'all or so, and then just give me an acrobatics check and then, uh, or sorry, athletics check and don't mess it up.
Yeah. Uh, I can step into difficult terrain, so do I get my full movement moving out here?
No, it's stepping is only, like, a five-foot step, so that, that would let you, like, not, or be able to dodge, like, attacks of opportunity if you were fighting in difficult terrain.
Gotcha.
Uh, yeah, in that case, uh, of course my movement is a, uh, integer of five, so I can't, uh, I can't get a nice even movement here.
So, 30, half of 35 would be, like, here?
Uh, no, it's, uh...
Uh, like, probably about, like, and it's only when you're, you're half, so I'd say, like, you get two, here, let me show you about there, yeah.
Ah, there.
Whoa!
Uh, and then you, then you hop, uh, so give me, give me that, give me that check, but you've also got freedom of movement up, so actually you wouldn't suffer any penalties from the...
Yeah, you've got freedom of movement, so you just kind of go up to there, and then you can jump.
Very cool.
So, just don't roll terribly on an athletics check.
Well, Thurston, let's, uh, let's see.
I, I wish it was acrobatics, I really do.
Yeah.
Don't we all, says every rogue acrobatic build.
Yeah, exactly.
Um, alright, let's go.
I'm not very strong.
That's an 11!
Got one hero point.
It's not very good!
It's actually enough, because you add five to how far you jump, so your, your feet, your feet comes in handy here.
Very nice, uh, so I'm assuming I can't get on top of it.
Uh, I mean, no, you're kind of like, you're landing in the water by it.
Yeah, I don't, I don't anticipate that was cool enough.
Those actions.
Hey, did you, did you get that out of them?
That was probably not cool enough for Panache.
Your feet's helped your feet.
True!
Uh, I, I don't imagine that I got Panache from that, Thurston.
Uh, no.
No, it was not very graceful.
Especially not after calling, it was not very graceful.
No, it was not.
Not especially graceful, no.
Like, you, you kind of have, like, the water, like, the freedom of movement was like, you know, those, like, children water wings they give you, like, on your side as you rush into the water, yeah.
Uh, all right, in that case, I've got one action left, because I can one action long jump.
Uh, so I am going to, uh, just sink my sword into this thing and try to kind of anchor myself to it.
Okay, yeah, give me an attack.
Uh, gotta target it first.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is something I would need to do.
Yes!
You'll hit it!
Sweet DiMaggio, please, John DiMaggio.
You hit a 28?
Wow!
16!
16?
Max damage?
Hell yeah, you did maximum damage.
Wow!
Yeah.
Good damage, give them high five.
I'm struggling.
Yeah.
I want high five you, Valerie, but I'm just, save me!
That's okay, Oren, we'll get it to let go!
Help me!
Oh, no.
I know that's it for you, Valerie.
You know that one video, the guy in the Wendy's is randomly screaming help?
That's Oren.
No!
All right, uh, let me end my, uh, I place myself in defense formation and end my turn.
Yep.
Look at them go, they're, they're doing, they're doing so well, Tanhauser.
It's, it's so much unity of purpose and like, look at all your friends.
It's like you're, you're just, y'all well oiled machine.
Oh, yes.
Very well oiled.
Except for the machine is made out of wood and people.
Hmm.
I see.
Uh, Rua, you're up.
That's a statement.
Oh, wait!
I told you up front here I was a help!
I told you!
I told you I was a help!
I told you!
I told you I was a help!
I told you!
I told you I was a help!
I told you!
Okay, you there, dog.
I was talking, I muted myself because there was noises.
Don't worry then, we love you.
We were not ignoring all of the fun jokes you clearly said.
Of course.
Oh, no, I just started talking, so it's fine.
No terrible comedy wasted.
Oh, good.
So this creature is actively attacking Oren and now Victrix and Vali.
Well, it's actively attacking Oren.
It's not really, Victrix is attacking it.
Yeah.
So Thurston, would it be safe to say it is not hostile towards me since it has Oren as the object of its fixation?
I mean, it's hard to tell, like, gauge intent of a tentacle.
Okay.
Alright.
Well, if it happens to be an animal, I do have Tame Animal as a feat.
Okay.
Can I attempt a nature check to try and soothe this savage soul?
I will allow it.
Okay.
If the worst case scenario doesn't fucking work, but...
Uh, let's see.
No, worst case scenario is you make it your pet and then Victrix kills it anyway.
No!
Yeah, that's about right.
Okay.
I want to try a thing here as you're getting ready.
You're allowing Rahuda to try this, aren't you, Thurston?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, chat, you want to make a bet?
No.
No, no gambling.
Tame.
No, I'm doing gambling.
Rahuda Tame.
Oh, we're Gamba.
The beast.
You can use your channel points now.
Yes.
What?
No.
What?
I'll put it up for like five minutes.
Start prediction.
Got it.
If you join the Twitch channel, you know, when we can do this live as if you too can gamble with your channel bits.
All right.
True.
All right.
Let's see what happens.
That's a two.
I would like to do.
I would like to hear a point that.
He is so determined.
I am.
So determined.
Spending so much money on no.
I am always determined to make a friend.
Oh!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
No!
It's a wonderful life.
I swear to God, the shit's rigged.
I swear to God.
Also, Zoran, this isn't really gambling if you don't close the pole before it happens.
No, no, no.
It's how it fucking ended.
You put it up for five minutes, you're going to be bankrupt, you fool.
Well, I can stop it at any point, so everyone got their shit.
I made 3,000 channel points off that shit.
So anyway, sorry, we're talking too much.
Go ahead, Therizm.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's, that's the worst thing I would do.
My players are talking.
Uh, yeah, so, uh, Hulky, express to me how you completely fuck up trying to soothe this tentacle.
Rahul will completely fuck this up somehow by speaking to, in a language that the tentacle would clearly understand, not knowing what this creature is under the water, assuming it's only has, so it could be an octopus.
So Rahul will open his mouth as tendrils of astral energy lash out in wild fashion as a horrible screeching noise emits from his face hole.
Oh, yes, I see you're, you're attacking my friend here, but have you considered?
Fucking Jesus.
Holy shit.
That sound, Hulky!
Did I do it?
Jesus H Christ!
Did he win?
Did I win, GM?
What are you doing with your, your, your, your, oh god, um, you have, let's see here, one moment, uh, what are you doing with your next two actions?
What are you doing with your new pet?
Yeah, your next two actions.
Uh, uh, oh fuck, they don't, these don't have bones, god damn it.
Uh.
It was a fail.
It was a fail.
It was a fail.
It was a fail.
But it was not a critical fail.
That's true.
Actually, they do have bones.
They have.
They should.
Yeah.
They have shit in like, they have like their beak and like a couple other cartilage like things in the middle of them.
They actually have no bones, backbone or vertebrae column and they utilize the incompressible nature of water to transmit force and they are considered invertebrate.
Yes.
Their bones are interesting.
Can't use bone shaker.
Uh, plastic in their heads.
Can't, can't use bone shaker.
Doesn't worry.
Can't use bone shakers.
Can't use bone shakers.
Fuck.
Octopi are into my favorite.
Are you just going to spend two more actions to try to calm it down?
Uh, yeah, I'm going to spend more actions.
Actually, no.
No, fuck this.
The moment has passed.
I can't make a friend today, so I'm going to kill it.
Holy shit.
Okay.
Uh, crisis of faith.
I'm sorry.
What?
I give my dog a crisis of faith.
I'm sorry.
I do that to applesauce every single day.
My dog is no longer Anglican.
First, to make the octopus make a little save.
What?
What the fuck?
Okay.
I guess I'll just...
If it has a crisis of faith, I'll attempt to make it calm again.
By force.
Fuck.
Fuck.
It succeeded with a 28 roll.
That sound is so fucking ominous, by the way.
20 points of mental damage.
It takes half.
Emotional damage.
I...
Emotion.
It's...
It's...
It's...
Yeah.
Um...
Okay.
Okay.
So, um...
Now we learn a very important lesson.
Cause you immediately went from commanding...
Commanding an animal.
Um...
To casting a two-action spell.
So you have no actions left.
Um...
So you go underwater and begin suffocating.
Oh!
No, I don't.
Do you not need to breathe?
Have we determined this yet?
Oh my god!
What is the rules for a Konrasu floating in water?
Let's come back to this.
Orin, my...
We'll come back to drowning.
Hi.
What's going on?
You're garbed.
Can...
Can you say he's just drowning from, like, water ingress or something?
Yeah, I'm...
It's okay.
I'm drowning.
Help me.
I am drowning.
Help me, please.
Please help me.
I am just under the water.
Please help me.
Please help me.
Okay.
One thing I want to see if I can do is, uh...
Oop, oop, oop, oop, oop, oop, oop.
Okay.
My recurrent chain teleported.
Give me a second.
Whoa!
Instant transmission.
I want to get...
I want to try and escape.
And I will do all the math for you if this has the thing for it.
Uh...
Here we go.
I wish to escape from its grasp.
Okay.
I fucked up.
Good.
It didn't happen.
That was one of my actions.
I would like to...
It does not have the attack trait, so we should...
No, it does.
Fuck!
It has the attack trait.
So he has everything minus five.
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Might as well.
Welcome to tentacle land, population you.
We say issues if I cast enlarge, it would not...
I would still be ground.
Because then I would be bigger.
It may be harder to hold on to you.
And I don't want to cast any of my spells.
Because I have all...
Everything full.
And I don't want to cast anything.
You have everything full, so you don't want to cast anything?
Yeah.
So I wanted to cast electric arc at it.
Maybe it goes...
All right.
It goes...
Actually, no.
Wait.
Wait, I have Galblast!
Yeah!
Galblast can potentially push people if I crit or something.
I'll crit, right?
If you push it, you probably go with it.
We'll find out!
It needs to make...
I'm going to basically just like...
Flutter around with my wings, casting two actions.
Oh, it has to do a D20 or else it doesn't happen.
For the...
You gotta give me...
You gotta give me that flat check first, Doug.
All right.
DC five.
Don't roll a one or a four.
One through four, don't roll it.
Can one of you blow on my D20 for luck?
No.
I got you done.
Thanks, Zando.
All right, here we go.
Okay, I'm good.
It was a six.
It was almost there.
Okay, okay.
All right.
Now I have to make a fortitude save.
Okay.
I got this.
No!
He ran with three.
He he he.
The tentacle stays on.
Hello?
Uh, that's the end of my turn.
All right, tentacle.
Cool.
Am I sinking?
Uh, yeah.
Aren't you being...
Isn't he being held aloft by the tentacle?
I'll say he's being held aloft.
It probably will change in the next turn.
If I'm sinking, I would no longer be grabbed,
because it'll be away from me.
Oh no.
Oh no.
He's...
He's holding on tight.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey, Zoran the bear.
Yeah.
Please give me a fortitude save.
For context, the beast is currently casting constrict.
Yeah, casting constrict.
It is a very high level spell.
He's using constrict.
He's crushing him with the 10.
With the 10.
I succeed.
My basic fortitude save at the 29.
Okay, cool.
So...
I only take eight points of damage, because I rolled a 16, and I only take half.
And you do it again?
Fuck you, Thirst.
It's easy to do.
Yeah.
Fucking asshole.
Hostile game master having ass.
I failed.
I will not hero point that.
Do your worst.
Of course you rolled max damage.
Stop tempting fate, you little shit.
What's he gonna do now, huh?
Huh?
Huh?
What's he gonna do?
Probably again.
Bobbin weaving.
Let's go.
Preston, are you doing it a third time?
Ha!
You time check.
I may take damage, but I...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me see your details.
You will take damage.
Hey!
Ha!
I will not be grabbed at the end of this turn.
Ha!
It's true.
And I rolled a 26.
I have succeeded.
I take only half damage.
That's right.
I'll take 6 damage, and Orin is continuing to yell,
Help me for all that is holy!
Help!
You cut out completely.
Yeah.
Twitch heard it.
He's being suffocated.
Yeah.
I'm just going underwater.
All right, the tentacle is now floundering about.
It takes some extra bleed damage from Victrix.
Does not recover, so it's still bleeding as this bloody tentacle
is flashing about here.
Victrix, you're up.
Yeah, thank you.
This is why Victrix is powerful.
Anyway, I'm going to melee attack it.
Okay.
So...
I can only attack it twice, and then I have to make a swim check, right?
Yeah, otherwise you start draining.
Okay, dope.
Anyway, I strike it with a plus 17.
Okay.
Uh...
I take it that doesn't go up because it's a large, right?
No.
No.
Totally up.
I'm going to check.
Ooh, that's not very good.
That will miss.
You do not.
That's okay.
Take the map minus 5.
Okay.
And I'll try again.
Because a 19 does not hit.
Miraculously, I know.
That doesn't hit either with a 24.
Whatever.
All right, I'm going to make a swim check then.
Okay.
Because...
You don't even have to roll for it in this case.
You're, like, you just have to spend the action to stay aloft, essentially.
Yeah, she'll swim.
She will swim.
As, like, Glaive is slashing out at this thing.
All right.
Uh...
Brings over.
Narrowly missing Vali and Oren.
Good.
Turned into a boat propeller.
Easy, that's what I hear.
Um...
Dan Houser.
Ah!
Dan Housen time!
Uh...
I'd love it when you see that.
Famously.
Um...
We're going to Laughing Shadow.
Then we're gonna...
Ooh, I'm not really going to be able to make it to the battle this turn.
So, I'm going to Laughing Shadow, Haste...
Um...
And so I'll cast the Haste spell.
Ooh!
And...
With my remaining two actions...
I think I can move...
Oh, God.
To here.
And...
I guess I have to spend my last action not drowning, right?
Um...
No, you're not quite in deep water yet.
But if I...
Difficult terrain.
I could get here, right?
Would I still have to...
Then you would...
You would need to, like, spend it in action, essentially.
Uh, I'm cool waiting here, then.
Okay.
Um...
Because I have one action left.
I mean...
I'll throw a...
I'll do some damage to him, I guess.
Okay.
Because otherwise I'd be wasting my action.
I'll, uh...
I'll cast, uh, Dimensional Assault.
Or no.
That's stupid.
Okay.
Well, Fang Fist.
Um...
Well, my Fang is forceful.
Alright.
I want you to cast that in the next turn and just get bodied and get yomched.
Oh, I'm sure.
Force Fang Fist!
Nah, it's just seven damage.
Not much, but...
Wow!
Okay.
The tentacle splashes around from these blasts of force energy that comes towards them.
Good job, Speaker.
Thanks.
High five.
Molly.
High five.
That's me!
Uh, okie dokie.
Uh, so this thing is...
Paint me a word picture.
Is it...
I don't know, holding Oren aloft, or is it, like, pulling him under?
It's...it's, like, wrapped around him and crushing.
Okay, so he's still in the water.
It's not, like, holding...
Yeah.
He's kind of, like, going in and out of the water as it's moving around.
Okay.
Like, it's a fluid.
You hear my...you hear my bones crunching, still.
Oh!
Oh, definitely.
Oh, buddy boy.
Yeah, I'm...I'm just going to just start jabbing at the bit that I see Oren is, like,
that's...that's wrapped around Oren, just to try to get it to let go first.
All right.
Um...then I'm gonna, uh, fuckin'...
Oh, wait, actually, no, it's...it's not grabbed him anymore.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's right.
He did not maintain the grab.
So I'm good.
He's going, my bones are still crisp, but he's just not doing it right now.
All right.
Uh, in that case, what I'm going to do...I can't really do anything super dexterous in the water here, can I?
A water backflip is much less impressive.
It's very impressive.
Yeah, I can do that.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm going to...I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna try to just sink the sword fully into the tentacle and anchor myself to it in case it tries to pull away.
Okay.
Okay.
And see if it'll take me to the main body.
This is a very not reckless plan.
Is your panache and water technically just water, like water dancing or ballet? Water ballet?
Water ballet?
Water ballet?
Um...yeah, probably.
Yeah, what did you roll?
I rolled a 26, which whiffed, and that's scary.
Um...in that case...
Uh, I'm just gonna try another one with the map minus five.
You can do it, Valley.
Let's do it.
It can't see me.
I can't, like, fainting strike it, can I?
Thurston?
Say again?
I can't faint it, can I?
Um...you could.
You could certainly try.
Oh, I mean, it's an arm.
I don't anticipate it can see me.
But I'll attempt to make a feint.
Okay.
Deception.
It's a decent debuff for him.
That's better than just swinging wildly.
21?
No.
Nope.
All right.
Uh, in that case, I'll just use my last action to stay afloat.
All right.
Doggy paddle, doggy paddle, doggy paddle.
Rua.
I'm going to attempt to intimidate the creature this time.
Oh, okay.
Let's see if we can...
Demoralize?
I hope so.
How are you going to intimidate a tentacle?
Uh, did you hear the voice he did, like, just a few minutes ago?
Yeah, but that's when he was trying to seduce it.
Yeah, he's learned what to properly use that for now.
Oh, wrong application.
The tentacles are now violent.
What a state of things.
I, I'd be in situations.
So true, bestie.
All right.
Intimination.
I'm an expert at this.
Funny.
Fuck off!
What's with you in all dudes?
I saw the 20.
I saw the 20.
I saw the 20.
I saw the 20, but you should not see the 20.
You should be a evil.
Divided by 10.
Well.
All right.
So that was an attempt to demoralize, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that will, that will, that will, that will not be a success.
I'm, uh, I'm sure.
He inspired him.
I'm sure.
Jesus.
God is speaking through me today and he's telling me that peace is not the way.
Aren't you also drowning right now?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
No, we need to cross it right now because otherwise we're going to get letters.
Letters.
We're going to get top gear here in a moment.
You know.
We're going to get emails.
We're going to tell you they should have drowned and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
Well, basically shut the fuck up.
Fucking.
I mean, right now I free swims.
Funny.
Water move.
But if I'm grapple, that's different.
Yeah.
We're just going to use a little.
It's one actions.
We go.
Hey, kids.
We're home early.
What the?
Oh, now it's a 19.
Now it's a 19.
Now it's a 19.
Yeah, you did it.
Yay!
Welcome to the High Rollers.
You just said.
13 damage.
It takes 13 points of, we'll say, piercing damage from whatever anarchic effect you conjure forth.
I'm not happy about this situation.
Oren, are you okay?
Oren.
Oren swims away.
Yeah.
Oren, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Is this location would be where Oren can stand?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I have 20 swim speeds.
I'll just.
Yes.
Just quickly over this way out of its reach.
Does it have any attack of Hoopatumini?
Nope.
Excelente.
Oren comes back.
He looks over at Tanhouser.
He just looks miserable.
That a wet beast.
I'm delaying time as I am looking at options and stuff.
He will look at it and get very angry and he will electric arc it thinking that his reflex save is very small.
So he will go.
Like single targeting is not really great for this thing.
You usually will do it for two, but I'm just trying to get hits in right now with the basic reflex save.
I sold that one.
Oh, I sold that one.
You got to give it to me.
I don't.
I succeed.
And you're like.
Burning much electric arc goes out.
It takes half of 17 points of damage.
And that's the end of Oren's turn.
All right.
So you're lucky because with that electric arc on its turn, it begins to pull away.
It will actually use its jet ability, which allows it to move 200 feet in a straight line.
And it will move 200 feet away.
Victrix, will you take an attack of opportunity on it as it's leaving?
Absolutely.
Okay.
Who do you think?
Who do you think she is?
Is this just a regular strike?
Yeah.
Swinging it.
That seems before.
Yeah, nice.
Not quite enough.
It flies off into the depths of the water.
Get back here.
I'm going to eat your heart.
Are octopus hearts actually tasty?
I don't think so.
Hmm.
And with that, we are out of combat as the creature has retreated.
Oh.
Do we?
All right, I'm ready to foo!
Oh.
My ribs are broken.
Also, wait, you told me to make an attack of opportunity and yet use jet, which causes it to move in a straight line through the water without triggering reactions.
Oh, well.
I missed anyway.
It worked out.
Yeah.
Actually, Jim, I think you'll find this is why I'm the best GM.
Actually.
This is why I'm the best GM.
All right.
So, do we anticipate that's what's causing Ribius' malaise?
I anticipate nothing.
Vic is fucking seething and treading water.
Harmless it.
What does it fucking matter?
Just kill it.
Well, we're here for a reason and meh.
What I have to say is that was the strangest worm I've ever seen.
There wasn't a worm, Tannhauser.
What?
What was it?
That was an octopus.
A what?
It's an octopus.
You've never heard of an octopus?
No.
What is that?
I go and run.
Is that T-Picturn?
Picturn comes by doing, like, Olympic-level movement, having rolled a natural 20 on his athletics check to swim through the water.
Is David Hasselhoffing through the water?
Just...
It fucking goes by you into the darkness.
Oh.
Oh, she's not going to be outdone.
Vex is falling off.
Where are you going, Picturn?
I'm just going on ahead.
I think, you know, it looks like you had it handled.
You know, you're good at handling everything.
Oh, Picturn.
Is that supposed to be a smart mouth?
No.
The Picturn is like...
Or it also begins to swim.
Actually, he comes back.
Hey, Tannhauser.
You're going to sink when you get in the water, right?
Because you're made of metal and you're, like, heavy as fuck, right?
I don't know.
The idea of swimming in this water, it...
It...
It perplexes me.
Oh, here.
Just...
I'll help you along.
And me and Rahua.
Rahua!
Don't...
Don't let go!
Okay, remember the buddy system.
Can you bridle carry Tannhauser?
No, just you...
You grab one of them.
Okay, hold him up.
I just...
Just don't let me go!
Okay.
Okay, together now.
Remember, okay.
And a one.
Drew...
I need to make a strength check to flip Tannhauser over his shoulder.
The people's anchor.
The people's anchor.
The people's anchor.
Okay, you can...
I'm not allowed to do that.
You...
Yeah, you're not allowed to do that.
No, go ahead.
No, I'm trying to...
I'm trying to click it.
Oh.
Oh, I'll just...
Roll a d20.
Make sure that window pop up, you know, I'm missing it or whatever.
I don't...
There's no...
Just do athletics.
It's basically the same.
Yeah, whatever.
Whatever I need to cause problems.
Yeah, do that ding.
I do it.
It's fine.
Here we go.
See?
There's an already...
There's 31.
Yeah, yeah.
You...
You both managed to carry Tannhauser to the Islet ahead with no problems.
Yeah, yeah, you both managed to carry Tannhauser to the islet ahead with no problems.
It's great, Tannhauser.
I mean, you wouldn't like act like an invention that hasn't been invented yet,
like a toaster if we drop you, right?
I don't know what that is, but he's already in the water.
If he would have electrocuted us to death, he probably would have done it already.
Tannhauser looks down at his hands.
Having been in that water so plentiful, I feel as if I have become a sea creature.
How could I ever face my desert tribes bit again?
As you all come ashore here, Picturn is sitting on what appears to be just like a wooden crate
that has been left here.
There is a sort of passage that curves around rocky outcropping, kind of to the north, to the east,
and then there is more waterway to the southeast.
Ugh, more water.
At least it's clean.
Too much water.
Seven out of ten, you're right.
Picturn, we gotta stay together, man.
You know, we're a crew.
You know, here, did he get injured at all?
He likes to, I want to check Picturn for any injuries.
Orin, Orin crunkled like a freaking accordion.
Picturn, you heard?
Picturn is immaculate at this point, as you're sort of looking him over.
Give me a perception check.
Excellent.
And while doing so, I'd also like to cast, not cast, but perform a he ha-puzz upon myself of first aid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But my perception check was a 24 of observing Picturn.
Okay, yeah, you can see that the box that Picturn is sitting on appears to have, like, a faded symbol on it,
which you recognize as being the symbol of the Medics Guild from Outset.
Hey, guys, this box has the symbol of the Medics Guild from Outset, just like the inside voice said.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Oh, you hear that voice, too?
Wow.
Yeah, it yells at me.
All right.
Do we anticipate it has any connection with any of the rest of the stuff happening outside?
Most likely.
Remember, we found these boxes nearby Gorgamonga.
Hmm.
Interesting.
It's not impossible that those same experimenters found their way here and caused Rippius' disjunction.
Right.
We have seen signs of the rot here.
I'm going to look around.
I'm going to peer down kind of both tunnels and see.
Do I see any obvious signs of, like, rot scarring anywhere in here?
Give me a perception check.
Yeah.
I'll do that, Thurston.
Yeah.
That's a 20 to you.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, you kind of start poking your head a bit this way.
Um, you don't quite see anything, um, and you sort of are peering down.
You can see there's more, like, niches in the wall here, but the niches here are almost all, like, desiccated goods or stuff that's been picked clean.
Like, this is maybe another area where items would be stored, but it hasn't been used in quite some time.
Um, as you sort of, like, peer along, and you can kind of, like, poke your head a bit further, and you get a sense that this entire area just sort of circles around.
I don't know.
Um, but as you sort of come back and then take another look back into more of the crevices, um, you start to see that from the walls, um, is, like, this bloom of rot that starts to emerge.
Like, like, imagine, like, fungi spreading, but on fast forward, uh, to, like, a hundred times.
You're just watching it as this is spreading, and you turn back to your companions, and suddenly the rot is spreading over them.
It's spreading out of the box that Picturn's sitting on as he turns and looks at you as you cross the corner, holding your torch, his smile suddenly being covered as, like, rot goes into his mouth.
Give me a will save.
But—Picturn.
Oh, this is just Volley seeing this.
That's another Blevins for a 22.
A 22.
Cool.
Um.
All right, Volley, you'll take 28 points of mental damage, um, and you will also, um, oops, I guess they changed that, uh, you also suddenly find, as, as this happens, and you're, like, like, you stagger, and your, your nose starts to bleed, you feel inside your body something is wrong, um, and at the end of that, uh, can you give me, uh, roll me a d20?
What? What? Why am I making so many rolls, Thurston?
Because you decided to explore.
Cool, so, like, as you kind of, like, have this mental shock recover and your turn, uh, you take five points of rot damage as you feel your insides being consumed by something wholly alien.
Uh, what are you doing?
Um, well, first, I'm going to, uh, scream.
Just, like, as the rod is starting to, like, filter over all of my compatriots, as I see it kind of spreading through, Volley's eyes are just gonna just go completely bug-eyed.
She's gonna, like, start fumbling for her sword, kind of falling back, stumbling, uh, probably falling on her ass in the middle of this cave, and just screaming, uh, holding her head before just, just, uh, just gout of, like, black rot from her mouth.
Well, what are the rest of you doing?
Uh, here in the scream, Vic is immediately going to scream gla- er, scream, sprint glaive, uh, Brandish is gonna just move.
Just screaming at her.
Or will rush up, seeing what's going on, go, ah!
And then it has, uh, he takes out the elixir of life, Lesser he has, and quickly rushes to Volley, and go, here, drink this!
It's everywhere, it's everywhere, it's everywhere, it's everywhere!
I know, I know, it's okay, it's okay, just drink this!
Where, where is it? What the fuck is it? Why?
The, the, the, the whole cave! It's the whole cave!
Uh, Victrix will stab the side of the cave.
Okay.
Uh, roll an attack against stone, uh, just damage, please.
Oh, just the damage.
Victrix is an ally to women.
Is there a, is there a weapon degradation in this cave?
A king.
Uh, yeah, this is like Dark Souls 2, uh, what you wanna do is you wanna, oh gosh.
I should bleed.
Good, yeah, the cave is, the wall is bleeding.
So, I do that to, uh, the heal of Volley, and just, uh, okay, sorry, chat, you're gonna have to see my character sheet way too long.
Um, and there's just, this is just healing for my end, cause I was doing an ultimate pick turn just to do that real quick.
I did the healer's clip for that.
But, so that's now gone, um, so that's basically me just trying to help out Volley and drag her back.
And what I would like to do is go, like, like, okay, everyone back to the shore.
I mean, obviously something's wrong with this place, and, man, if we're gonna keep going into here, we need to get prepared.
I would like to cast Moxie Weapon on everyone's weapons and take that time.
Um, I'm not sure how long it stays, but I just wanna kinda pre-buff everyone, cause we're going to a rotten-fested place.
I want everyone to have, like, Moxie Weapon enchantments, all their stuff.
Mm-hmm.
Um, let's see here.
It lasts for one minute.
Damn it.
Yeah.
So by stabbing the cave wall, you basically, Vic, will determine that the wall is made of stone, correct?
Correct.
Yes.
Yeah.
She will then reorient the weapon and point into the cave, like, menacingly with it in case anything is in there.
But there's obviously nothing.
Okay, so there's a bunch of stuff.
Tanhauser, you rushed up Rahua, you were also.
What are the two of you?
Um, Tanhauser's gonna quickly take a look inside of this area, see if there's anything that maybe he missed.
I'm gonna cast a, uh, Detect Magic.
Okay.
See if maybe I get a scent on anything.
Yeah, you're not, you're not getting any kind of scent.
In fact, as you look, it's kind of, like, oddly quiet and empty, uh, beyond your friend screaming and, like, being force-fed a potion.
Uh, based on her symptoms, can I make an occultist roll to try to maybe understand what's happening?
Uh, yeah, sure.
I'll let you do that as part of this, as well.
Third action kind of thing.
Uh, 25.
Um, clearly had some kind of, like, mental assault.
Like, something, something probably happened here.
It might be more occult in nature, uh, from what she's saying.
Like, you know, you've heard, you've heard rumors of, like, the rot has sort of an alien influence on people, especially when it starts spreading through them.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna walk up to Pictured, if that's okay, if that's not too much.
Uh, well, let's go to Rahua first.
Okay, you're right, you're right.
My apologies.
So seeing Vali under psychic assault from metaphysical bleeds from the rot, Rahua, based upon his previous encounter with the rot in this cave, is going to assume she's okay, but otherwise psychologically disturbed by the psychic bleed of things yet to be.
Uh, but coupling that with expert, uh, knowledge of the containers containing samples of the rot, Rahua is going to stop by Pictured before going over to Vali.
Uh, Pictured, would you, would you mind sit, not sitting on that?
In fact, it's probably detrimental to your own health that you sit on that.
Just motions his hands like, come on, get up, scoot.
Oh, okay, and he just kind of, like, walks over to the corner here.
Sorry about that, I didn't mean to get in the way.
No, it's, it's okay, I don't want you to get hurt, because there's probably nasty, gross stuff inside this, okay?
Oh, yeah, yeah, probably is, now that, oh, Vali looks awful shook up.
Uh, let's, let's see if this is the source of, uh, Rahua will carefully open up the box that Pictured was sitting on with one hand and have his mossy mace in the other.
Yeah, you crack it open to reveal, uh, like, a box that's full of, like, well-preserved poultices, um, kind of alchemical ingredients, um, like, what appears to be two, uh, two vials in there.
Can I identify these two vials?
You can give me a crafting check.
Okay.
I'm trouble with no Baldrick.
Yeah?
21.
Uh, yeah, so you are able to recognize one of them is a moderate anti-plague, and the other is an elixir of life, um, fairly old, but it is also, um,
a, uh, a lesser elixir of life.
Neat.
All well-preserved.
Uh, all right, uh, with all that, uh, back to Vali.
Vali, roll me a d20, please.
19?
Okay.
Oh, God.
You take another three points of rot damage, which I apparently rolled from Pic-turn.
From Pic-turn!
Yeah, from Pic-turn!
Uh-huh!
Um, but, uh, then you manage to, like, vomit out, and you feel, like, the rest of it leaving your system as you continue to heave and get it out.
Your stomach no longer hurt.
Oh, my tummy hurts, and I'm not being brave about it!
No, Vali is just going to, like, kind of dab at the corner of her mouth with her hand, just look at all this, like, oo, is just kind of spilling out in front of her, just…
What the fuck was that?
Wha-how-how-how-who-what that?
Did we, did we, did we, did…
Sorry, did we find something?
just going to like
hold on to Oren like a little plushie
just like wrapping my arms around him
he's downy and soft
just patting your arms
going uh
who have found some bottles inside we can probably use
one of them to get you back up
you know here
just come sit down over here and Oren will
I would like to basically start doing
first aid at least on both of us but just kind of
your ribs are still
crushed
yeah this thing crushed my wings a little bit
but I'll be okay
here you go
I would like to
not even assurance
I'm going to use my nature because I have natural medicine
and do my little
healing plaster
for healing kit supplement
first one's going to be to heal her
oh I saw that one I got scared
that's a 32
that'll be
a critical heal
yeah a crit and plus 10 for the 30 dc
um
so that will be
2d8
no 48
plus 10
I didn't do the plus 10 my bad
but you can just
shift click that and do plus 10 on that
so that'll be to you
so you're nice and healed up
and uh
I will do the same
for me
just to get myself a pud
I saw the one on that one too
oh there you go
Thurston
while they're doing that
uh Vic is going to
very carefully advance
just pointing her
glaive at every shadow
in the cave
as she's moving forward
yeah sure
uh once again
you're kind of seeing
confronted by like
just niches and alcoves
around here
most of them are
a necromancer
she doesn't know
someone's casting spells
or she doesn't want to
stab them
yep
I'll get it
I'll stay there
so I don't drag
too far away
from the party
um
and then yeah
Tannhusra
we're kind of back
to you now
so
um
yeah
I guess uh
the way
over here
that was um
that wasn't
the alleyway
that we explored
earlier
was it
which way
like we sent
uh people
through this
no you have not
been down this way
okay okay
so we haven't been
down this way
and we
haven't been down
this way
I say very quickly
we circle the area
here
identify any paths
and then continue
down south
yeah Bolly's already
done a walkabout
here
that was when she
like triggered
whatever the fuck
happened
yeah the top
only loops
yeah the top
it just loops around
so the only way
you really have to go
as this south way
into the water
chill chill chill
okay
um
I'm just going to say
uh
there's only a limited
amount of time
the enchantments
I've worked on
Valley will last
I say we take
advantage of it
press on while
we're strong
yeah
or nods
and like
good Valley
yeah
yeah
never better
sorry for the
mess
it's uh
it's okay
in my cave
don't
get near that
uh
Orin will
begin to kind of
lead up
anyone need help
get through the water
the water
the water
no I'm
I'm good
it's
it's pretty calm
uh
and there's just
about a little
in picture
and sort of
points into the
darkness
it's just a
a slightly
deep point
but it's not
that much
you just can
basically hop
across
hey
big turn
do you have
any uh
you have any
spells to help
with like
water walking
or anything else
no
no
I mean
I suppose
I could make
a cabin
that'd be helpful
we could turn
it into a boat
you know
I do have
a dirigible
we could use
yeah
what happened
to our dirigible
we haven't kept
up with that
thing
he's probably
lost in the
fucking swamp
somewhere
it's just
it's just
floating around
the swamp
it's literally
a ticking time bomb
it's turned
into the
flatland beast
I'm sure
it's around
here somewhere
TM
um
yeah I guess
uh
I don't see much
other recourse
other than just
moving right along
yeah
might as well
orn starts
swimming
I'll take
the first
plunge
and go
20 feet
up
sure
come on
blue
more water
yep
more water
ladies
first
for those
of you
with acrobatics
or athletics
like you can
literally just
like hop
across it
it's not
like a
I have to
do a bunch
of swim
checks or
anything
it's not
so I need
to make
an athletics
check to
crawl out
to sleep
yeah
exactly
yes
so I
leap
okay
so I'll
make a
check for
the acrobatics
then
for athletics
to do
the jumping
okay I do
the athletics
because she
jumped
I think
I actually
deleted
Tannhauser's
token
oh it
wasn't
accidental
oh
okay
where did
he go
that answers
your question
anyway we're
gonna keep
going
that was
literally
when he
made that
fucking
comment I
just deleted
his token
I was hoping
to react
I'm standing
on top of
him so I'm
like where
did Tannhauser
go
as
as Vic
crosses over
doing again
the fucking
pole jump
she's gonna
throw the
gaff
to volley
so she
can do
the same
oh
thanks
and yeah
I'm gonna
I'm gonna
jump over
yeah I'll
also do
a running
leap
athletics
athletic
man
can I
do a
backflip
to make
it
backflip
like I
say you
don't even
have to
really
care
like
this is
like
pretty
basic
water
at this
point
like
it's
not
like
there's
no
movement
in it
there's
nothing
anything
crazy
going
on
you're
not
gonna
I'm
not
gonna
have
you roll
three
natural
ones
and drown
in the
kitty ghoul
okay
ahead of
us
I would
ahead of
us
did you
want me
to make
athletic
checks
too
to get
up here
or
no
no
no
no
no
like
I
said
you
don't
even
have
to
make
checks
we're
all
paranoid
because
after
you
made
us
explore
we got
punished
so we're
like
I don't
know if
you want
to move
up
and stuff
but
it's
all get
up here
I see
there's
a fork
in the
path
Ornn
will look
to
Pictern
hey
Pictern
which way
do you
think we
should
go
you can
hear it
can't
you
what
listen
and it's
like he
kind of like
put silence
and like
there's the
lapping of
the water
by you
but you
hear what
sounds to
be like
a waterfall
coming from
this direction
the northern
path
yeah
let's see
what's there
you hear
are you
talking about
the waterfall
Pictern
yeah
okay
it's that
way
okay
the way
you phrased
it it almost
sounded like
it was gonna
be something
like you had
heard like
like children
crying and
like screaming
or whatever
no it just
sounds like
the waterfall
you know
like the one
by the creek
by the farm
you know
my brother
Tedimus
he uh
oh
oh he always
loved that creek
that's a new name
yeah he fell in
and he died
we don't talk
about him
much
oh
all right
why don't we
stop talking
now
okay
why don't you
lead just in
case
you hear a low
growl from
Victrix
yeah that's
fine this is
kind of
depressing
now
I'm sorry
yeah
it sounds
this way
I guess
we'll start
moving with
them
as a group
let's
you
flies into
a wall
apparently
um
let's
you
kind of
drowning
over there
yep
oh no
another
split in
the path
which way
do we
go
the
the
sound is
coming from
the north
as you
kind of
like
creep through
at this
point
like you
can tell
the
the air
here
has like
this
like
almost
like
moist
coolness
to it
you hear
the rushing
like air
but as
you start
to like
see
the
incandescent
luminosity
of Ali
going up
you can
see that
there's
a very
tight
like
tunnel
that seems
to carry
on to the
north
oh boy
let's see
if we can
make the
squeeze
the air
here is
nice
beats the
living hell
out of
the fence
now be
careful
everybody
everybody
knows
in tight
spaces
you can
get crushed
by a
shifting
cave
and die
instantly
thank you
Rahua
maybe we
should
stop
talking
okay
Rahua
I assume
I have to
take the
squeeze
action
to move
through
here
uh
yeah
it's
uh
it's
very
tight
all right
what should
I
what do I
have to
roll
to
squeeze
you don't
have to
like
make an
action
it's
just
like
you're
kind
of
like
intentionally
pulling
your
bulk
in
and
moving
up
the
horrible
cracking
and
creaking
of his
frame
compressing
to
you know
what
it
is
no
no
no
hulk
you know
what it
is
what
you're
good
you're
good
you're
good
it's
exactly
that
grinding
ouch
wouldn't
be
rot
grind
we
have
rot
but
not
enough
grind
that
is
true
all right
everyone else
is kind of
heading in
yeah
yeah
hey
Tanny
you haven't
seen any
more of
that
rot
in here
have
you
and
and
has
her
flies
away
don't
talk
to
me
don't
talk
to
me
why
do
I
come
to
the
arena
I
haven't
seen
any
but
I'm
sure
we're
all
about
to
come
on
is there
any
in
that
cave
none
that I
could
see
or
sense
but
perhaps
it's
more
something
that you
have
a
greater
connection
with
something
that
it's
able
to
affect
you
easier
than
others
as
you
enter
into
this
next
area
you
can
hear
the
rushing
of
water
it
is
much
louder
it's
to
the
east
but
the
only
sort
of
illumination
that
you
properly
have
is
Vali
you're
still
holding
the
torch
you
can
see
inscribed
on
the
ground
is
some
sort
of
symbol
that's
been
etched
there
which
I
think
if
you've
seen
a few
times
before
now
one
of
the
deity
sort
of
symbols
that's
etched
these
kind
of
swirling
patterns
of
Auntie
Drown
Balinsas
as
she's
also
known
there
are
various
crates
here
all
the
crates
seem
to
have
an
appearance
as
though
they
are
smacked
up
but
you
can't
you
can't
get
a
further
look
in
just
because
of
where
you're
standing
Molly
you're
kind
of
like
by
a
wall
that's
cutting
off
some
of
your
vision
and
like
your
light
is
still
going
further
with
the
sound
of
the
water
rushing
to
the
east
there
you
you
you
you
also
hear
a
voice
behind
you
say
Molly
move
I'm
moving
you
kind
of
all
continue
walking
into
this
into
this
space
as
you
do
so
you
can
see
Molly
that
there
is
like
the
sound
of
rushing
water
to
the
east
you
see
a
bit
of
it
lapping
up
against
a
shoreline
to
the
east
you
see
more
of
these
sort
of
broken
boxes
and
a
few
like
rising
stalagmites
coming
out of
the
out
of
the
ground
here
there
appears
to
be
like
rope
and
some
supplies
and
then
yeah
the
sound
of
rushing
water
in
the
darkness
further
to
the
east
huh
all
right
I'll
take
point
just
to
shine
the
light
around
and
make
sure
we
all
see
what's
going
on
yeah
you
see
picturn
sort
of
step
up
and
then
like
you
kind
of
carry
on
past
him
taking
a
look
you
can
see
now
that
the
crates
here
appear
to
be
smashed
in
various
places
as
though
they
were
like
tossed
and
tumbled
ashore
there's
a
couple
of
them
that
look
like
they
were
stacked
normally
but
they're
kind
of
jumbled
in
with
cracked
and
broken
supplies
what do
you
see
over
there
picturn
water
regular
it's
coming
down
hard
oh
well
there's
the
waterfall
okay
so
as
you
get
to
about
there
volley
um
whoa
you
see
an
immense
waterfall
that
is
like
crashing
down
and
filling
the
room
with
you
know
a
constant
sort
of
there
are
rocks
that
like
almost
have
the
appearance
of
teeth
coming
out
of
the
water
and
as
you
hear
this
you
can
see
that
there's
like
shattered
debris
from
various
boxes
that
look like
they've
shattered
against
these
teeth
and
you
can
see
that
the
water
itself
is
not
like
a
crystal
clear
water
like
you've
seen
in
the
rest
of
the
grotto
instead
you
see
it
is
like
suffused
with
black
inky
darkness
but
it
has
this
oily
texture
to
it
and
in
fact
somehow
though
you
don't
know
how
as
you
look
at
it
it
almost
looks
as
though
the
water
itself
has
like
tumorous
growths
on it
it
looks
as
though
the
water
itself
is
just
this
like
writhing
pool
of
rot
I'm
gonna
reach
for
the
back
of
Picturn's
shirt
and
very
quickly
pull
him
back
toward
me
Picturn
get away
Can you give me
an athletics
check?
Yeah
I'm
not
very
strong
that's
a
war
Yeah
Why are
your athletics
so bad?
You go up to
Picturn
I'm
fast
not
strong
And
and
and
place
place
like
a hand
like
it's
it's
your
attempt
to pull
him
back
but
it's
more
like
a
gentle
pat
on
his
shoulder
as
he's
like
staring
out
at
this
you
know
you
know
I
I
thought
there
was
a
chance
And
he's
just
looking
out
at
this
like
waterfall
A
chance
that
what
Picturn
Yeah
I
would
fix
all
this
I
just
thought
we
could
fix
all
this
What
do
you
mean
by
all
this
And
Vali
disappears
literally
disappears
like
was
there
one
moment
all
of
you
were
seeing
her
go
up
to
Picturn
and
then
she
vanishes
from
sight
Let's
take our
break
here
Alright
Let's
see
what
happens
next
time
Alright
We're
back
So
I'm
telling
these
motherfuckers
Hello
I'm
eating
comfort
cheese
Is it
mayonnaise
It's
not
mayonnaise
It is
in fact
like
these
little
blocks
of
snack
cheese
They
bring
me
great
comfort
in
times
like
this
So
how
do
you
eat
them
do
you
eat
them
with
like
little
toothpaste
and
go
and you
like
eat
it
all
Do
I
what
sorry
Do
I
white
girly
I
have
not
seen
any
girlies
doing
that
like
I
do
I
thought
that
was
a
me
thing
I
didn't
think
that
was
a
white
woman
thing
Very
girly
pop
anyway
girly
pop
girly
pop
Hi
Hi
Thurston
Things
happened
What's
going
on
Am I
dead
Yeah
Yeah
So
Wally
disappears
In the
immediate
instant
that that
happens
Rahua
Your
light
goes
out
Covering
all
of you
in
darkness
Huh
The
only
sound
you
hear
is
the
rushing
of
the
water
What
are
each
of
you
doing
Uh
who
wants
to
go
first
So
this
looks
pretty
No
you
can go
ahead
I
was
waiting
for
someone
to
go
besides
me
they
didn't
want
to
take
spotlight
too
much
but
You
want
to
go
just
go
sensing
something
up
Vic
is
going
to
close
her
eye
her
remaining
eye
and
she
is
going
to
listen
for
the
sound
of
any
movement
nearby
and
any
move
that
gets
made
is
going
to
be
followed
up
immediately
by
being
hit
by
something
Okay
Gang
we
should
uh
we
should
possibly
stick
together
something
something's
very
wrong
Um
Yeah
sticking
together
is
nice
Pictern
Pictern
you are
acting
strange
Where did
where did
Volley go
Pictern
where did
you
where did
everybody
go
I don't
know
Keep talking
little man
uh
Thurston
can I roll
a perception
to try
and pinpoint
where Pictern
is
Absolutely
Okay
you're gonna
say he's
like around
us in
like 360
degrees
but I'm
going to
you know
do that
anyway
Uh
nat 20
with a
Uh
yeah
you can
tell
approximately
how close
Pictern
is
uh
if you had
to guess
he's
somewhere
about
feet
north
of your
current
position
based
on the
voice
Okay
I'll
go ahead
speaker
you go
now
Um
I'm
going to
so we're
in a new
location
like we're
now
drawing water
are we in
the same
location
but there's
no
You still
hear the
sound
of the
waterfall
it's
just the
light
went out
none
of you
have
like
dark
vision
or
anything
so
Okay
I'm
gonna
do
something
that
I
never
thought
I
would
Um
How long
would it
take
to
reapply
the
essence
of
the
shining
martinet
Oh
no
Um
well
let me
pull
pull it
up
because
I
believe
I
believe
the
essence
of
the
shining
martinet
special
ability
there
was
um
oh
gosh
let me
see
here
do I
not
have
the
full
rules
for
in
here
it's
like
it's
in
a
different
document
if
I
recall
correctly
um
I
believe
like
it's
the
special
the
special
version
of
it
that
takes
yeah
um
yeah
the
special
version
of
it
is
the
one
that
seems
to
take
the
the
longer
amount
of
time
so
it's
like
it's
like
minutes
and
requires
like
a
crafting
kit
and
shit
to
do
oh
that's
very
sad
um
uh
do I have
any other
tricks up my
sleeve
yeah
I'll uh
I'll shoot
an electric arc
up up the
ceiling to
briefly
illuminate the
scene
for like
a round
yeah
sure
um
so I'll
just move
my hand
up
and it
won't be a
consistent
light source
but it
should be
enough to
at least
like
reveal
um
what the
hell is
going on
yeah
um
um
since you're
firing a
lightning bolt
into the
air
uh
I guess
I'll have
Vic
charge
at Victor
then
I don't
I don't know
what you're
doing
you scared
the shit
out
you fired
a lightning
bolt
in the
middle
of the
darkness
I probably
said
hold on
a moment
okay
there's a
flash of
light
and it
is enough
for you
to
very
very
briefly
see the
positions
of your
companions
like it
illuminates
the room
long enough
that you
see
Orin
Rahua
and
Victrix
standing
exactly
where they
were
before
all right
with that
said
I'm going
to approach
Picturd
and thus
the waterfall
okay
you do not
see Picturd
I do not
see Picturd
okay
correct
in that
case
I'm going
to go
to
um
uh
my
companions
I'll go
to Rahua
and I'll
go to
Orin
and I'll
just
tap them
both on
the shoulders
I'm right
here
that's
two of
us
accounted
for
that'll
be
your
go
uh
Rahua
uh
Rahua
now
reunited
with at least
two of
our group
members
will try
and make
his way
along
with
another
two
towards
Victrix
she's
great
you
cautiously
advance
up
uh
Victrix
you hear
the sounds
of like
the cracking
tree
man
approaching
uh
she is
going
to
she
pinpointed
pick turn
last turn
as being
15 feet
north
uh
I will
barreling
charge at
that
okay
just at
that
location
we'll see
what I
hit
yeah
give me
an attack
actually
give me
a
roll me
a d20
first
okay
boom
it is
a one
okay
so you
hit air
you just
start
swinging
into
air
okay
you
you
you
just
hear
grunting
and
swishing
and
swooshing
as
she
sprints
forward
and
swings
into
nothingness
okay
is that
all I
can do
for that
one
or can
I
try
and
attack
again
you
can
try
to
attack
again
absolutely
all
right
I
will
d20
again
yeah
flat
check
to see
if
you
can
hit
okay
roll
me
an
attack
roll
strike
or
map
minus
map
minus
okay
swinging
it
roll
me
damage
oh
okay
yeah
you
hear
this
as
like
you
hear
pick
turn
shout
out
in
pain
knew
not
to
trust
you
you
little
shit
and
I
knew
I
knew
I
couldn't
trust
you
either
calm
down
what
is
going
on
you
hear
splashing
of
water
do
the
light
thing
I
want
to
attempt
to
recast
everyone
roll
me
perception
for
initiative
now
in fact
yeah
everyone
roll me
perception
for
initiative
here
I
will
set
you
no
not
you
you
have been
unmade
you cannot
do that
yeah
you
I got sent
to the
shadow
realm
bro
that's
right
you did
you're
in the
other
campaign
now
Florida
oh
no
what do
you mean
oh
no
oh
no
okay
what do
we got
here
yeah
yeah
podcast
people
tan
handers
rolled
a 25
or
or
an
a 33
and
victrix
a 26
yeah
okay
um
just updating
one thing
here
don't let me
go guys
we gotta
stick together
holds
holds
tan
house
and
rua
tiley
we just
gotta wait
for
rua
to cast
one
light
i'm
i'm
working
on it
hurry
up
rua
slaps
hand
hurry
up
just
do it
okay we'll
start with
rua
are you gonna
cast
light
rua
yes i was
going to
before we
get the
roll for
initiative
yeah
perfect
so we'll
start off
on your
turn then
with you
casting
light
and i will
bring you
all back
to here
okay
um
and that
would be
two of
your actions
rua
you do
not
see
anything
else
in the
area
picturn
i strongly
strongly
encourage
you
to stop
whatever
you're
doing
here
we would
we're
friends
after all
and you've
seen what
happens to
people who
aren't my
friends
you've
seen what
happens to
them
hick turn
and i'd
like to
intimidate
oh okay
sure
nat 20
nat 22
fuck
holy
fuck
we're
we are
we are
burning
through our
20s
this game
huh
okay
yeah
you
you
you
say
this
and there
is
definitely
like
uh
i know
i know
i know
i know
i know
um
okay
okay
okay
um
hmm
let's
take
here
i like
how you've
only got
the invisible
effect
on him
which means
we can
still just
see him
i know
it's
it's fair
i mean
you know
i could
let you
see other
things
but i
won't
just
because
all right
you know
what
picturn
becomes
visible
uh
after
having
cast
invisibility
and
he
begins
by
doubting
just
unleashing
a tirade
as he
turns
corporeal
and
targeting
you
um
just
unloads
yeah
i know
because
you murder
people
that's
what
you do
you
don't
help
anyone
but
yourselves
you only
like me
because
i have
my
cabin
and
my
my
floating
disc
and
my
bag
pops
that's
the only
reason
you never
helped
me
you all
treated me
like
garbage
you said
mean
things
to me
i thought
i could
be friends
i thought
i could
make it
work
with you
but now
you're
all evil
you're
all bad
people
he'll cast
blistering
invective
um
so
i
would
like
uh
rahua
can you
click on
that will
save
for me
yeah
i love
that he's
targeting
rahua
with that
yep
it's just
like
why him
because
rahua
is the
one who
started
uh
okay
so
you
will
succeed
so you
only
take
uh
half
the
persistent
fire
damage
so
that's
okay
so
you'll
only
take
1d6
persistent
fire
and for
whatever
reason
i have
to
i have
to
fix
fix
this
because
persistent
damage
got
bonked
again
uh
okay
so
you
are
now
uh
on
fire
from uh
from picturd's like
tirade as
literally the ground
around you
combusts
and he just
shouts
and spends his
next action
doing something
he has never
really done
before
and draws
a short
sword
oh no
he's
packing
Lauren
oh
and then
he also
takes
um
a little
bleed
four points
of bleed
damage
uh
but recovers
from
uh
the bleed
from the
strike
that
victrix
had laid
into him
house
you're no
longer
hasted
right
uh
i doubt
it
no
no
he would
not
be
touch
oh
hey
hey
hey
you're
hasted
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
yeah
just put
that little
freaking
dang on
here
now that
i don't
have the
fucking
effects
on
and uh
basically
cast haste
on tan
house
for two
actions
and uh
for orange
last action
he'll look
at picture
and it's
like
uh
but
but picture
like
like you
have to
understand
impressions
grow
with time
you know
we want
we want
you to
come with
us
back to
outset
pick turn
we want
you here
because we
want you
we can prove
it you can
throw the
backpipes
away you
can
you don't
have to
use the
cabin
anymore
we want
pick turn
we don't
want it
we don't
want any
other stuff
we want
you
and that's
the end of
orange turn
as he tries
to appeal
to him
can i
roll a
diplomacy check
to see
you
absolutely
can
you
absolutely
can
which is
the worst
thing
i have
a zero
yep
well you
chose to
do it
i roll
an eight
well
oh
oh you
want me
you know
i'm
i'm a squelchfoot
every time i talk
about the squelchfoots
you don't care
you always cut
off my stories
you never say
oh let's come
back to that
story pick turn
no you always
cut me off
and just use
me
use me
okay
um
i'm gonna
regret this
victrix
you're up
next
sorry
there's a
beach of
drag quick
and all the
tan house
are there
oh yeah
go ahead
my bad
go ahead
uh he's
in range of
me
uh-huh
because i have
the plus
i have the
range on
the glaive
so she is
going to
uh
strike him
as a free
action
can i
speak
yeah
of course
you can
go ahead
go right
ahead
victrix
if you lay
another hand
on pick
turn
you'll be
next
in the
grave
gonna roll
a d20
here
okay
i'm gonna
say above
she might
listen
below that
probably not
i think that
it's
might
listen
no
cocked die
roll it
i saw it
it was
cocked
you want
that doesn't
count
well you
know is
this is this
is the character
i got here
and she's a
fucking
asshole
so she's
taking a
swing
yep
you don't
tell me
what to
do
imagine
if you
missed
she would
have been
distracted
because
senhauser
distracted
her
so you
know
it's not
because
she's a
bad
fighter
my
character
is
cool
cope
cope
cope
swinging
that
damage
oh
very
good
yeah
yeah
pick turn
takes 16
points of
damage
is bleeding
staggers
back in
the water
somewhat
see
you're all
monsters
every one
of you
you can
soar
with
monsters
you only
care
about
yourselves
i'm gonna
show you
a monster
you little
shit
second
attack
yes
i'm going
to
dragging
strike
i'm gonna
pull him
out of the
water
if i can
oh
yeah
uh
press
so i
have to
do
this
afterwards
that's
fine
all right
here we
go
sorry
pick turn
that's
all right
she'd
fucking
missed
like a
bitch
you have
a hero
point
they have
one
can i use
your villain
points
instead
nope
i
i don't
know how
we're gonna
handle this
situation
we're gonna
handle it as
best we
can
just the
two of
us
we can
make it
if we
try
with that
i'm going
to
reposition
her to
there
actually wait
if he's
there does
she
whatever i'm
just gonna
move there
okay
there she
goes
okay
and that's
that's that's
it for victrix
i'm glad you
didn't haste
her
tanhouser
you're up
i mean touch
range
oh god
what the
fuck do
i do
well
it's a bad
situation
all right
our
swashbuckler
is gone
our one
bard is
losing his
ever-living
mind possibly
to the
rot
and then
we have
a tree
and the
one person
we led
into
and then
our one
person
that we
brought in
is going
psycho
crazy
and instead
of talking
is stabbing
him to
death
and either
we're starting
to pvp
or we just
get rid of
one other
problem
pector and
listen to
reason
it's not
just your
bagpipes
or your
cabin
but also
your hat
and your
good attitude
without you
we wouldn't
have made
it through
the swamp
and if
you think
we're
monsters
then think
of all
the good
we've done
for the
people of
this swamp
you've been
with us
through
gorgamonger's
passing
you've been
with us
through all
sorts of
different
accolades
yes it's
true
vitrix is
a psychotic
monster
that we
maybe should
murder
but you
you are
the best
of us
don't give
in to
this
madness
and uh
yeah let's
roll my
negative two
diplomacy
very good
by the way
i'm gonna say
this speaker
you made an
excellent job
interposing
between
vic and him
uh
we'll nanite
surge to make
it a completely
neutral roll
okay
that's a
that's a
big number
if it doesn't
work i'll use
a hero point
feel free
to use
a hero
point
all right
let's rock
baby
oh the
20 winked
at me
all right
well that's
an 8
so
my dog
you do
have three
hero points
i can't
re-roll
more than
once
or else
i just
can't
knock
us
no
oh i
didn't realize
you re-rolled
it already
fuck
well i
probably should
have been
happy with
my 13
i have seen
you treat
people like
garbage
anyone you
come across
just use
them
just like
me
you were
mean to
tashty
you were
mean to
the people
in the
kabu
you just
you say
these witty
remarks
thinking
people don't
hear them
like we're
not here
i am
not
witty
picturn
no
you're
worse
you're
cruel
uh
rahua
oh hold
on hold
on hold
on hold
on
buckaroo
bonsai
i spent
one move
action
oh yeah
true enough
true enough
true enough
okay
yeah
uh
is it
like clear
to me
at all
whether this
is
picturn's
own doing
or whether
picturn is
suffering
from reefer
madness
of some
kind
uh
you could
certainly
use a
seek
action
to perceive
to sense
motive
what's going
on on him
that sounds
delightful
let's try
that
yeah
what you
probably do
it before
the uh
the damocles
sword that
has picked
victrix
does something
bad
well
i'll a-op
you i guess
if you do
listen man
i'm playing
how i
i know
i'm not
i'm not
i'm not
blaming you
okay
i'm blaming
the beast
you control
blaming your
character
the beast
that i
was controlled
by you
i just
controlled
and operated
by you
um
i don't know
which are my
beautiful skills
perception
ah
that is a
most beautiful
skill
you perceive
the horseshit
aww
that's a natural
one so we'll be
re-rolling that
no you won't
you can't
oh okay
remember our
rolling we've been
doing for a while
now
that you can't
re-roll
ones for
complications
oh my god no because i didn't have to roll let your ones
the heck is complications
okay
complication
i'm so glad it happened to you
i would encourage you to pick one that's not funny
thurston
oh oh i i agree
i absolutely
remember
remember dear listeners
can i just say
the one at the bottom of the list
which i'm not using
is simply entitled
suddenly a dirigible
um i'm just gonna not use
how can we have the dirigible
impact this emotional scene
ah
or the ground
as he's looking through complications
remember chat and listeners
if
you yourself would love
to submit your own complication
you can go to patreon.com
forward slash narrative declaration
where you too can submit to the big pool that we have
of people submitting their funny he-hoos
and serious ha-has
uh for these awesome scenes to happen
because we can't re-roll natural ones
oh
oh okay
um
that's
that's a potential
um
oh gosh
yeah i think i have to go with this one
from our good friend
my name jers
um
because it's very appropriate to the moment
it's just going to make this even more awkward
um
but also is not
not a ha-ha funny
um it's entitled server muted
um
and
the the the long and the short is
is
uh
something has occurred
that causes you to
temporarily lose the ability to speak
as tanhauser is struck by pick turns
like vicious blows
against the
the comportment
of you and your companions
you suddenly find yourself
for once bereft of words
you can communicate through other actions however
okay
so as i turn to look at victrix
and you can cast spells
i should
i uh
i i look at victrix
and i go
one more
and then clearly there's something wrong with my voice recording
so i try fucking with it
shrug my shoulders
i take out my sword
and i'm going to begin gesturing
quite intimidatingly towards her
while keeping her at sword's length from pick turn
uh hopefully uh enunciating my point rather severely
excellent
you have
you have you have done the uh world of warcraft
tank aggro
and i i guess that's that's my turn
my my turn of failure
all right we uh switch initiative to the burning tree
whoops
um which will take six points of damage at the end of the burning trees round
because i skipped but
ruhuah you're up
picturn
you must understand sometimes good people must do bad things
the world is dying
there is a cancer seething underneath all of creation
surely some lives must be expended
to save the greater whole
it has always been about the greater good
we do not go after these people
you can help make a difference
yes your stories are long but
that's just besides the point
you're still a wonderful person
we don't have to do this
let us help you
let you help us
we are happy to let you share in this bounty that you have made
and we can do so much more good
you need only come to your senses
and i'm gonna try diplomacy as well
i'm also not very good at it but
give yourself a minus four circumstance penalty
oh fuck
as something you said there
something you said there
immediately sets picturn off
no
that's pretty bad
that's pretty fucking bad
you
you
you
you make this
well the
well ruhuah is still on fire
you make this
impassioned plea
and
and picturn's eyes turn away from like
tanhauser and the victrix
towards you
and there's this moment of like almost camaraderie
and then you make the comment of joy in this bounty
and his like eyes just seem to
seem to intensify
um and he like
his his like mouth
like curls slightly
oh
joining you
i can't
that's the problem
i can't
because you're special
and i'm not
um
do you wanna
do you wanna give me a perception check as well
ruhuah
because i know like that was something tanhauser did
but
sure
fuck me running
uh
yeah
you know in this case though
it's not a nat 1
it's
it's one of the few times you've ever done a perception check in this party
when it's not been a nat 1 on picturn
uh you can now for the first time paying attention to young picturn squelchfoot
definitely see the signs of rot infection under his eyes
much like volley
this cannot continue
i'm gonna casually masatsu up to picturn
and i am going to lightly plunge the rot
the mossy mace
into him
okay
i'm going to attempt to non-lethally strike him
to dispel some of the rot
okay
some more of like
basically giving him a gut punch
but not trying to
uh
donut him
i'ma beat the rot out of you boy
tanhauser scolding
victrix
stop killing him
ruhuah
tenhauser just looking at you like
oh i'm gonna make an example out of this rot infection today
bruh
ah did he roll target
give me an attack roll
give me an attack roll with it
sure
club him
clubberlang
oh
uh that will crit
roll me crit damage
he's asking to do this not
i did i did specify non-lethally
oh i understand what you specified
roll crit damage
okay
it's max damage
okay
um
add 10 onto that
one sec
um you like bring the mace like try to plunge it into him and picturn gasps and recoils
violently as you do so
um like the proximity of the moss just causes him to stagger suddenly the growths in his eyes begin to
almost like
uh metastasize and spread until his entire face has this rotten look to it as though like just by bringing this mossy mace in such close proximity you've now like cut away the top layer revealing just the terrifying cancer underneath
oh no
oh no
um that'll be the end of your turn
yep that'll be the end
oh wait during that roll to uh resolve the
end end the turn and then just click the resolve button and i'll do the six damage that you've got
so um so actually here i'll do the you can click that roll recovery it might still be there for you to do
oh yeah so so with your epicness you stop burning you will however take that six points which i'll drop that's fine there as the the fire burns and then picturn like
just like screaming um like raises his free hand up to you and um unloads with uh several magic missiles
um and fires uh three of them at you pew pew pew
doing 12
ouchy yeah doing 12 damage to ruhua his three missiles impact you he staggers back
um his round ends
let's see here
and he collapses backwards as the the bleeding wound from uh from victrix sort of overwhelms him
and he like tumbles falls backwards into the rotten water
and as this happens
he cut to somewhere else
volley
here
old roshi rider
yeah
hi
hi thursta
so as as as you know you you you put your hand on picturn's shoulder
there's there's a flash
and you find yourself
hearing sounds of merriment
there's like jovial shouting everything's kind of etheric here though like you
you feel something's off you feel you're in some kind of like
uh forest swampland the ground here is sort of
in various degrees of like state it's it's tough to tell exactly you know
what's around here as you are moving about
um but you you can tell that this this area is somewhere outdoors um there's tree cover
you see what appear to be several um several wagons
and you see shapes they're kind of like
semi semi semi corporeal they have like almost like a
intangible look to them they appear to be humanoids that you you hear the sounds of merriment
and joy from them um you kind of hear their their their speech but their speech comes out sort of like
um the charlie brown like teacher talk like wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah um
and and you you take all of this in
and suddenly that merriment disappears as
first of all crossbows the sound of twanging crossbows goes out
uh then you hear these the sounds of of burning flame like washes of fire and dancing moats of flame
like elementals creatures emerge out from from the forest here and begin cavorting setting men ablaze
and these sort of strange etheric figures that you're seeing are running and screaming it is pandemonium here
what are you doing
that's a loaded question um yeah i so all of the figures are indistinct like i can't really make out
people can i correct okay i am going to well first i'm going to draw my sword just in case
uh and i'm going to make a break for what seems to be the heart of the chaos
yeah so so you you you draw your weapon and begin rushing forward and there's this strangeness to your
to your gate as you move because what you you feel is like you're on even though they wouldn't have
these back then but you're on like a treadmill you're running but you're not getting closer in a strange way
instead what you're seeing is as you run the events seem to speed up you see people who are getting
you know shot down by crossbow bolts some being burned alive suddenly you see several figures are
rushing towards different um like caravans and crates uh some like some of them must must be the
attackers and they're offloading chests and cracking them open with feet and then some direct
elementals to burn while others just ignore them and you you see all of this happening and you're
still desperate to rush towards it you keep running it's actually causing you to lose your breath a
little bit um and as as this all continues and you have this sort of
this attempt i guess to to reach it you have to catch your breath you have to stop running towards
it you breathe momentarily and that's when you see a figure that is more distinct standing here
um and you see a figure that is looking at the back of one of these uh these open sort of carts
uh and on the back of the cart you can very clearly see a box with the stamped emblem of the
medics guild of outset similar to the one that you saw in the cavern earlier though this one is far far
newer the one you saw in the cavern earlier like might have been decades old um but as as you see
this and the figure staring at it you recognize not just because of how distinct they are and how
like how they are they're obviously not part of whatever the sort of muted nature of the other
beings are but you you recognize it because it is a large tree man that is staring into the back
of this cart it is rahua
what are you doing rahua rahua what's happening where are the others as you shout the words to rahua
rahua there is this brief moment as rahua's head starts to turn slightly and then one of the figures
runs through rahua and as this figure runs this indistinct figure runs through rahua rahua blinks and
disappears from this scene and instead you see the the small figure actually take more shape as it runs
through rahua some kind of connection potentially of what happened this childlike figure rushes to the
back of the of the cart like clearly brandishing some wounds um crossbow bolts that have wounded his side
right and you see picturn squelch foot much less tattered the clothing everything looks you know
immaculate none of the damage you've seen since you know the your your many travails together
picturn who has been shot by two crossbow bolts desperately opens the crate on the back of the cart
and you can feel it in the air that picturn is desperately trying to get medical supplies
and as he opens the crate he's barely able to stop it from basically flipping over on him as he's
desperately scuttling to move it open and pulling it back at the same time
and as the crate falls on him a black wash comes out
and it floods over him it's it's comical almost it's like
it begins flooding everything it begins filling reality it drowns you in darkness
oh no
and as you say oh no
this same effect overtakes your companions as well
and in the place where your companions are each of them
see as picturn has fallen into the water that the rot seems to rise and encompass everything
and just a moment later
you all find yourselves somewhere very different than where each of you were before
you find yourselves in a in a place of dark green grass of tattered roadways of fences of pastures and fields
and of buildings
the sides of which are completely covered in growing black tumorous molds
and even the space around the very edges of the location each of you now find yourself in
are like cut off there's no horizon here there's only an inky blackness that eats at the edge of reality
and for chat's sake
i will tell you because the players can currently see this
the name of this map is simply entitled the bake sale
and each of you like find yourselves here now sort of looking at one another
um and you hear only one sound
this
like the sound of shoveling
guys are you i'm gonna reach out and i'm going to like down the line just touch rahua and then tanhouser and then victrix
tanhouser looks deep into your eyes and he says
because i'm muted
do they all feel real to me thurston
they all feel real
i don't think we're in time anymore guys
what the fuck just happened
something's wrong something's really wrong here
i think i fell i think um i think i know what happened to pick turn
as uh as oran is listening to what volley is saying he's casting mossy weapon on everyone
what size for everyone because he's got one he's like wah wah wah wah so i'll i'll start doing that as everyone else does stuff it's like what did you see what do you see valley
i saw the caravan attack they had some of those those medics medics guilds crates
the same ones we found with gorgamonger
one of them spilled over on top of him and
i don't know if he's already dead or if it was just eating away at him the whole time but
wait he was rotten this whole time i don't know how he couldn't tell
i mean clearly i'll tell you how you couldn't tell because none of you
fucking rolled more than a nat one the few times you ever perceived him
yay the dice we never noticed we never noticed
the signs were there
it didn't manifest like it did with me and oran it's
we gotta find him what happened where is he
well i i i saw it i saw what you mean valley what i tried to help him i saw the i saw the creeping
sick on his eyes like you but when i hit him it just
it was like ripping off a a bandage and all that was left under was not skin but sweet sick rot
he's consumed he is i don't know if there's anything left of him if it was just a puppet
we we can take him back to the kaibu we can take him to ribius i don't ribius said that he could
they said that he could cleanse the rot right he's not sponsored it sounds like he's dead it's time
to put him in the dirt
victrix shut up
we've got to try we have just got to try let's find him and see what we can do victrix if he is
too far gone then you do what you have to but i swear to god if you act before we do i'll stop you
she just glares between the four of you and just shoulders her glaive i would like to roll perception
check to see the direction of the shoveling yeah sure
oran got 11 on the die for 26. all right so oran um you kind of just
stride a little bit past volley just a little um and you see a figure right around here on the map
just mark it wait a little white circle oval it's it's a it's a halfling um
sized figure who is currently using a shovel and digging a hole in the ground
big turn oran's kind of like hunched over like it's it's almost comical how small this one is
based on the the hunch they have yeah horrible um i'll move just one action for movement just so i
don't like super extend past you yeah over here to try to get more side on is it picked hard
uh as you you cross and you can see the sort of like writhing rot on the sides of the buildings here
you turn uh and see the the figure it's it's it's a halfling but it's it's an elderly woman halfling
and she's digging with the shovel excuse me have you looking for our friend pick turn
can't have it you can't have it it's my gold i've got to find my gold well we uh oran will motion
everybody else if they want to move in with them but um he goes we don't want your girl we we want
pick turn have you have you seen a little guy pass by backpipes funny hat i'll find it nobody nobody
believes me that i'll find it but i'll find it oran turns everybody else in the distance and he's like
shrugging victrix shrugs back at him she has no idea what she's doing anymore he got told not to kill
nobody and as as you do that and like turn back um the the the strange like halfling
leans over and falls into the hole she's dug and you hear a sickly cracking sound oh oran just like
every horror movie will run towards the danger okay to see oran don't run off he runs off okay
he looks at the hole what scp is this one as you look in the hole you see that the hole is empty
i just saw i just saw something to get eaten by a hole
did you forget did you forget i tried to tell you the voice echoes from all around
but it was just one of them one of those stories you didn't let me finish about my grandma who dug for gold
but you didn't let me finish what happened
big turn
oran immediately rushes to tanhouser
tanhouser you remember any of any of picturing stories right putting you on the spot yeah tanhouser
looks at you and says thank you i wanted that thank you
he goes jordan ruah vally do you remember any of the stories well don't you remember
can you name five of my family members tanhouser with his arms crossed like
and this really fucking sucks because i actually remember them but guess who's not here
yes
i remember cousin billy miss and brother tanhouser we just learned about but i don't know his grandma's name
i'm gonna go back to the group too or i'm gonna go back to the group okay see
odoroshi has a terrible memory when it comes to these things but could i make some kind of role to
see if volley would remember because he's kind of our little guy no all right fair enough screams to
the sky going you can't make you can't blame me for my memory my bird brain memory that's ableist
it's been like four months
i bring up different siblings every episode
why do you think i can't since he showed up
you did this on purpose you tantalized me with being able to play this fucking bitch
so you couldn't use my actual memory of all the dumb fucking names to apply it here
i fucking love you erindel i'm going to vixstrix stabs the ground
why don't you come out now
remember oh talked about all going back to come out now we talked about going back to outset together
we're we're like a crew right uh oh okay um so as you say that you you see something um a figure
emerges atop
the mound of rot it actually seems to climb out of the rot from the small building to your to your immediate
east it stands atop it elevated about 10 feet above and looks down at you holding a hand up high that
swirls with dark like strange magics and clutching a set of dripping bagpipes
oh hi there i guess it's time you meet them i want you to meet my family i've talked about them so
so much and at the same time you begin hearing squelching sounds as around you
from the mounds of rot in this area figures begin to emerge and crawl out of the muck mire of the rot
and you see them emerging one even at the base of the building where picturn is and as they all begin
to crawl out you see these horrific squelch foot like creatures that are replete with the rot
oh um sorry i need to do a few things if all of you could uh you know roll me uh uh perception for
initiative now would be a great time terrific now put yourself in combat yep before you roll uh oren
rolled a 12 for a total of 16 on his perception victrix never left time for 28. that's uh an 11
or a 7 for an 18. 17 over here i'm gonna hold on to that that'll be fine i don't care
excellent excellent excellent okay um
boop boop boop boop boop
he rolled he rolled he rolled his pictures at the start now oh christ
all right and with that picturn having emerged on top of the building
louding over you
let's see if this works
not the health bar
i'll i'll fix this up jack and see it but uh
we added a dark souls health bar i'll i'll edit it here in a sec but uh
oh boy picturn's first action will be to cast a spell
please be the cabin please be the cabin
it is the cabin oh no the cabin's gonna we're gonna have the the
fucking death house situation from ff7
picturn begins casting a spell
and from the ground between where volley and rahua are standing
a cabin bursts out from from from the ground
not picture's creepy cat
i love the name of the spell consuming cabin
yes um if i can get rahua and uh volley to please click on those reflex saves for me
oh boy
fuck nope nope and 27 that's a critical success
as an evasion i don't know if i should fucking hear him like that
you're gonna hear a point that rahua yeah only one that's true
fuck it's 66 peepsing
i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna hero point it let's go
roll it up
strictly speaking you have less than a 50 chance of getting a higher score but you got better
bitch you bet you were wrong
i'm helping tempt you
all right you will take eight points of piercing damage as the cabin bursts from the ground it like
like coming out almost from a pool of rot like the ground itself is not real it's like pull
it pulls back as though it has teeth just of wooden planks that drill into your own uh wood and then
picturn begins to play his bagpipes
oh no
yes um that's his bagpipes no no and he is inspiring all of his minions
oh no it's your go
uh hey gm since i want to get this cleared up straight away can we have that mossy weapon effect
or do we not do that uh just you we'll just we'll just count it as so we'll start on this round and
you have it for um for 10 rounds i know technically it would like zoran would have to pick orders on
it but i've already tried to do your skull thing but it's all yeah you're just got to manually think
about it it's i like i don't have the coding to do a spell effect and honestly all it does is it
counts the weapons so like it's not something that um foundry would manage anyways with it's all right i
i was just asking so we could do that let us yeah no no you all have it you all have it unless of
course oran decided not to give victrix a buff i don't know i gave everybody one so all right so
what oran's going to do is immediately uh god this one turned into a dinosaur so bad but that's not a
terrible plan uh is the house targetable it's a house a thing because i don't see it as a token
it is not it is akin to a flaming sphere got it all right huh which yes means he can direct the
cabin on his turn so warren's going to do is that he's going to move up for one for one action for
up to 10 feet this way just to make sure that he's within and he's got to go 10 more feet
sorry get up to here and he's going to electric arc uh the one of the pig turn's cousin and
pick turn himself so he's going to go crack a tomb and so um i'm gonna see if i can do this for you
i'm not quite sure no i cannot all right yeah so you can target both of those and do the reflex save
thing and then uh or just do it on the bottom there and it'll do it one got a critical failure
and picture succeeded what the fuck is it plus 19
all right i will roll my damage electric arc goes one of them will take okay you will do double
damage on the one and then you will do regular damage to picture in the rotten as the electricity
arcs and like there's a momentary like squeal of the bagpipe as picturing like recoils back would
picture technically take half because he succeeded oh yeah yeah that's right thank you yeah yeah heal him
now i know i don't see him team but you know just in case you know i'll be fair no i i approve i
approve okay that's all of oran's turn so that is him okay just this okay i'm just giving this break
okay cool um rahua you're up all right i'm gonna take this opportunity to say oh this is fucking sucks
and i'm going to cast a spell magic on the cabin as i raise up my hands and try and unleash a roiling
tide of chaos to abate this nightmare that has sprung up around us okay yeah
past it there we go counteract
okay um see here that will not be enough to counteract the cabin
fuck yeah someone did put a whole bunch to give you another hero plane i did see that but it's like
13 on the die already i want to reroll it but i feel like i'm really reaching if i'm doing that
no that's a five on the die you had was a five on the die yeah you have a plus 13.
you have a plus 13. yeah all right yeah let's just one fucking reroll that
we'll pretend i didn't see that you have a chance to roll better
no i crook fail let's go make a second cabin mercifully you just fail to counteract
well yes but it also complicates thank you oh no
i'm sorry i'm sorry hoki hoki i'm sorry i thought i'm not gonna hear it i'm not gonna sugarcoat it
it's not good all right so so i i'm not gonna say it you're not gonna hear it and the next person
to complicate doesn't get to see it true how could you okay all right all right i like this one
it's just very very appropriate it's from laser beastman uh it's called avatar of sad a small black
personal rain cloud appears above the caster's head and proceeds to rain on them for a number of
hours equal to the spells level as reality just manifests your disappointment in this strange
alien place you got pissed on by reality yeah no fucking kidding you have an action left though
that's true i'm gonna use this to move away from it please sure i'm gonna put myself in an optimal
position here yeah no fuck i'm sorry valley i can't help right now just doesn't leave it doesn't look
good hit the bricks if it sucks at the bricks okay it's going very badly
um let's see here
yeah what's gonna happen uh i do know what's gonna happen i think
i don't remember any of these cousins how many cousins did victor have he had a bunch of cousins
they begin rushing one of them rushes towards you rahua tanhauser your go
all right tanhauser is going to uh get out his grappling hook i'm gonna do some spicy okay i'm
going to actually shoot my grappling hook for the roof of the cabin and i'm going to spend a hero point
to try to narratively declare something i can't normally do i'd like to use it uh and like use the
momentum of this short grapple move to build up enough speed to shoot over it and wind up close to
pick turn uh rather than have to like you know spend my turn getting there i figure i can get
away with it because i'm hasted okay so what sayeth a v to that yeah i'd say give me a let's go with uh
athletics probably i'm guessing there is the got it yeah give me an athletics check for for this we'll
see how this plays out i'll give you the same thing i gave to uh yeah that's a three on the dice
okay yeah i might be good oh shit i just set my initiative to that number um no well don't do
that we're let's try again you just want to go there so that'll get you like double buys that will
be okay but not as great um it's basically gonna get you to about there oh yeah as you
basically like spring across kind of like landing like just just shy of where you intended to
uh yeah i'll take that um and then is there like uh an upwards angle here or is this like
relatively like i could just walk to here for 15 feet uh there is like an upward angle it's
essentially like difficult terrain to trudge up it well okay yeah i'll um
i mean i could since i have super move and i would still be able to spell to strike somebody
i take an a off from the cousin uh or i could teleport to pick turn but then i'd get a map penalty for my
head um pick turn if i recall doesn't have the biggest ac in the world he's got a boss help bar now
though yeah that that's true his stats could be wildly different but um what to do what to do
what to do um well uh i'll risk it for the biscuit i'm going to dimensional uh jump to over yonder to
right in front of picture actually we'll go right behind or like yeah it's here it's probably the best
place okay probably behind and not getting the mario sunshine oh yeah fair enough let's not get
into the mario sunshine gear can i uh get teleported over yonder yeah cool i get to make a basic attack
and i will do so yep
strike that would be a 30. you will hit all righty then let's rock some damage
uh nine plus i think one because of laughing shadow am i in laughing shadow i don't think
i know you're not oh yeah yeah i'm not okay yeah so just nine yeah you cause him to recoil back and
like again the bag piping stops and then i'm going to spell strike here um so i will be taking a map for
this uh but i'll live with that and we'll be spell striking with a uh level two shocking grasp
so let's rock sure thing
with a 31. all right that'll hit yeah give me a little dimaggio thanks check reminder remember
moss weapon damage yep uh it doesn't do damage it just procs weaknesses if he has so yep yeah it's on
my end and then we'll get the shocking grasp
nice roll a 12 12 and a nine on the d12s look at that health bar go oh that's a chunk
so just as i uh uh pierce through him and uh tan hauser uh thinks his famous catchphrase and
and then sister can he talk yet no no that's why
all right one of the cousins comes
oh wait uh oh no this is right because this messed up because because of tan hauser one sec i want to
i want to as you figure it out as tan hauser's about the name of the assault um is that orange
like wow dan there's a good job high five
orange sad he goes huh i'm gonna lose oh i lost two friends so far this adventure
am i did i have ten hauser in the right place now right yeah it was uh after that one yeah cousin
tan hauser right yeah no next thing you can always just drag him it should work there that's what i
did i'm just making sure i had him in the right place yeah you're good you're good you're positive
all right
this cousin comes out towards you
this like rotten figure comes towards you and just starts like speaking its head like twitching back and
forth towards you rahua and it just says
bake sale bake sale bake sale bake sale bake sale bake sale um and it reaches out at you with a claw
it will hit you
oofy owie fuck
that's a lot of damage
that's a lot it will hit you for 19 as you realize that it's like companion behind is taking
advantage of your positioning and it's like breaking around very sensitive areas like around
your sphere and then it uses its last action to grab you and holds you in place hold he still
okay
volley you're up oh dearie me uh i feel like dealing with pick turn is our biggest threat
right now but i really don't want to leave rahua to just eat shit
um doing damage to the cousins did damage to the health bar right
did it yeah because the health bar went no no no you you did a shit on a thing that oh am i psychotic
okay yeah yeah you lose your mind that's that's that's dark souls logic never mind
we're not playing the game right now true hey i'm gonna turn to victrix
all right fuck me i guess go ham
and i'm going to
take off running with my first action here at the edge of the rot
uh i'm not going to tumble through the rot that's a terrible idea but i am going to
uh use my second action to make a long jump to try to get here
okay um i don't know how much verticality i need to get but you'll need to give me a uh an athletics
check yes i sure will oh god why have i not been leveling up my athletics because i always think
jumping is acrobatics yo could i could i narratively declare that i'm doing a backflip
up there absolutely if you want to spend that uh hero point of yours to potentially switch that
to acrobatics yeah if you want to spend the hero point totally yes i'll do the hero point because
it's a plus 16 versus a plus two so i'd call it worth yeah mark volley down the hero point please
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait hold on but before you do that um do we have any
idea what the touching the goopy goop does yeah over it that's true but there's very few places
for you to land that aren't also in the goopy goop yeah i'm trying to get past him here
yeah if you onto the roof okay yeah yeah yeah if you think you could do that then by all means i'm
just standing in the printer ink yeah if i whiff it i'll have to spend my last action to get out of
it but luckily i can use uh long jump for one action rather than two fairfucks to your boil oh shite
uh acrobatics
what oh that will be i'll give you a 32 thurston all right and panache
yeah yeah panache all right molly please put points into athletics i beg you i am that is the first
thing i'm doing the next level i should have done that instead of performance but
uh so i'm going to wheel around after landing behind pick turn and just
i'm so sorry little buddy and i'm going to just jam my sword into his back okay
next step uh making an attack can you do it can you do it can i do it please
go ahead and hit that does hit can you can you dead island trailer reverse throw a child out of a
window to uh i've got finisher checked so that should do it there she goes
uh 17 points of damage nice look at that bar let that bar go it sure is a good thing pick turn
doesn't have much health i don't like that he doesn't have uh that much health on this phase
wow why would you why would you think um all right is that it for you go yeah uh yeah oh and i'll
click the panache off of me uh yeah that's my go cool we take those cool uh excellent uh this brings
us to billimus that's why that's the one that's facing the other direction yes um speaker will you
roll me a d20 i would love to thank you since you were the voice of billimus i i i am the voice of
billimus that is true yay the one winked seven okay perfect perfect um oran will a 19 hit your ac
probably not uh that sweats uh no i won't the shits okay so billimus comes up to you and like begins like
clawing like the creek the creek the creek i don't want to go to the creek
victrix you're up
um let me just look back up at the thingy
from what i can tell about the funny thing is that
the cabin yeah the cabin if i move through its space i have to make the reflex save right
no no i can just move through it yeah start of your turn okay in that case in that case i'm going
to barreling charge at uh yeah this guy i recommend going behind it if you can so you can get a flank
but i'm not flying from the side no you need to be behind opposite like line through
so you want to be here if you can can i be back diagonal nope has to be a straight line through
hey has to go through the center basically
you got you have range well your movement's 30 right yeah but that puts no my movement's 25.
oh that would do it yeah yeah you have to do two actions to do it uh you have sudden charge right
you're a fighter right what did you do but that wouldn't be behind him yeah well you move twice and
then strike is that it yeah yeah do sudden charge you move behind him and you strike once and that'll
be your first attack i will sudden charge and put myself i'm sorry the backseat gave me by the
way i just want you to no no i wanted to clarify it it's fine so yeah i do that and then i'm going
to strike from the back yes you strike into the back of the cousin and then i add a modifier how much
for flatfoot i'll automatically handle it yeah i don't know if you'll do it if you're away but
we'll find out yeah we'll see uh 34. yeah yeah you got it numbers good job good job all right
all right damage all right damage come on do the fucking thing that i need you to do which is roll
very big 42. damn
and uh vic's going to be useful this combat and i'm going to move him closer to her that way it's not
next to rahula okay thank you and then i will map minus five strike it and hopefully kill it we'll see
we'll see what happens map attack uh that's a hit that'll it roll me dimaggio
uh 16 plus yeah push okay it's barely existing as you continue to smash into it
yeah that's the end of vix go that was all three lead should be enough yeah
it'll be at the end of its turn but it'll it'll die that might just hit her she'll be okay
unless you give her rotten and then she'll be pissed at all of you no no sorry queen at least we
have that in common now tedemis runs to there no tedemis no what does tedemis say jedediah runs to
there jedediah now i remember that one pick turn goes oh no he goes pick turns first action
is to direct the cabin he's gonna reposition no he's repositioning the cabin no um so uh i think oh
gosh let me let me double check here as like has poor grappled rahula look from the corner of your
vision slit sees the approaching um the approaching consuming cabin um here i'm just gonna cast it
again um there uh if you can click on that reflex save uh rahula oh joy yes you must reflex
the cabin will do 18 points of damage to you as it begins to chew into you from behind as this
thing holds you and is just like bake bake this is a lot like cannibalism because it's a wooden
a wooden cabin eating a tree for picturn's next action picturn will utilize his special ability called
where family
and will
trade places
oh fuck with tedemis
dinkins as reality warps and suddenly tedemis is in front of both tanhauser and folly
how could this be tanhauser thinks and then as as that was his special action he now has his final
thing and i'm going to uh to have him cast a spell with his final action
it's a spell called final sacrifice how many turns this picture and have
he gets a special ability to do the swap it's not an action that's right
i hate you i hate you yeah i know what final sacrifice does it's all fireballs they turn off he's
sacrificing its family and then i'm just gonna just gonna you know just have this uh this special
ability here called yeah so um yeah uh so picturn's gonna uh cause poor brother tedemis to explode
um so six yeah so it's only going to affect volley and tanhauser so you know volley tanhauser if you
uh i can help you out here it's a 20 range right you just do a circle thing oh yeah but it doesn't
matter it's not gonna hit anybody it's not gonna hit anyone but but tanhauser and volley so tanhauser
volley if you click on that uh uh lovely uh basic reflex save button and see if you survive the sudden uh
family member appearing in front of you and then exploding there's nothing more important than
family oh shit wait i can't together like family family family family family family family family
evasion success
yeah i don't i don't understand i guess i guess whatever i guess for who you just take a lot of
damage uh no tanhauser you will take uh half of that damn what why is rahula selected don't have him
look like i swear to god i don't want to die i didn't i must die no i didn't want that okay um
okay that and then i'm okay i've clicked ten those are like eight times this has to
fucking apply to ten what is it doing it i swear i don't have him selected or anything
uh-huh uh-huh i don't believe you
like save is so good it gives you part member control yeah you for some reason as i'm looking
here you've had him targeted it's like i have not i do not have him targeted for anything so
that's why i don't believe it's so weird okay well fine i'm sniffing at your computer right now yeah
i like you look at my all right that's it for him oran you're up well uh before i just for for
show ways are are we all good here to potentially go for one more hour uh sure i don't mind okay
yeah i don't think i'm good for a full hour but i'm good to play out this combat
okay i don't know where the gear went okay so it's my turn uh
uh as i said i don't know why i did this um as i'm looking as a look around i have a i have two
choices apparently they may either help rahua or do damage and uh just being grappled inside of a
cabinet yeah he's having a bad time so what i am going to do is i'm going to cast uh a second level
two action heal uh and i'm going to do it at rahua just to help him out okay absolutely i will cast
that vulnerable the three and a one of my dice unfortunately but bam i heal works for 20.
oh god thank you i cannot heal him myself but if you can do that for me that'll be my two actions
and for my last action i am going to cast a spell jump okay just to basically start getting away from
things i want to hop up on the roof with everyone else just so i can get a better advantageous
position and absolutely as much as i could potentially fly up there this just makes it easier
so this should bring me right up here on top of the building whoosh pretty much uh if you can drag me
up there uh north of tan oh yeah i've got terrain walls sorry yeah thematically my wings
basically just fly up there real quick and land right by uh tanhelser and then is the end of oran's turn
okay okay cool all right rahua you are grabbed and being held inside of a house what would you like
to do so being grabbed because i've not been put in the situation am i restrained from movement of any
kind yeah so yeah so so you can like do manipulate actions but you have to um if you okay so you're
immobilized so you can't basically take any actions with the move trait and then um you have
to for any other actions you have to do a flat five check so like if you try to cast a spell or
something you have to roll like a five or higher otherwise you lose the spell um or you can try the
escape action uh i will attempt the escape action first and see if i can get up because i do need that
yeah yeah so you can do that with your athletics so sure
will a 20 help it will sadly not oh my no it only takes one action to do so but yeah do it again
it's a minus five because it's attacked right on it yeah yeah things aren't looking good here for
you could cast a spell with your third act with your remaining two actions there's just a
like you know one in four chance or one to four chance you lose it right yeah if you roll one one
one or four on your d20 flat roll then you just nothing happens but it's a small chance but
yours uh i've laid you astray before
i'm in the middle of the words fuck i didn't think of this fuck delicious delicious all all attacks you
do that are not a save thing is also uh going to be at mp minus five so you can keep trying to escape
and then on your last action get out of the house i'm gonna attempt to escape once more
fuck
oh not acrobatics
oh hold on that's oh didn't matter anyway even worse
oh you know you were recently given a hero point from chat
oh was i oh thank you very much chat let me let me try it again i had to add a hero point to
myself and get rid of it
i swear to god these dice are cursed oh my god the house the house like begins to like crunch by
i can't fucking do anything last action
could you cast a spell no he's used two actions he could only do one action cast
how many actions to take to spend like cleric fun heal uh you'd have to like cast it normally so it'd be
like two or you could do the the one action heal yeah you could do a one action heal which is you
just touch yourself and heal yourself true true i'm gonna i'm gonna do that i'm gonna i'm gonna just
do one action kill myself to try and keep myself alive wait okay uh roll me a d20 first to see if it
happens all right
oh it does not have this is a red game
so you're like right like you're just trying and this thing is just like activate bike bike
as the house is like like biting at you from behind your friends have all abandoned you and gone to the
top of this roof bike bike as it's holding you in place and you can't escape bike bike
i'm going to set the end of your turn yeah
is it unless i have another action uh well the desperate like cousin by victrix is going to now
begin swiping madly effect tricks
all right here we go missing out missing out
missing jesus dies and
dies to the bleed nice terrific and like basically swipes at you repeatedly just swiping swiping swiping and
then collapses creek she can't keep getting away with this shut the hell up you little pest
and then they aren't pissed they're my family
and hauser you're up all right man so here's my question to you uh-huh can i see over this wall and see
picture yeah okay he looks pretty beat up right sure does
okay
can i talk yet
i don't think we're gonna get anywhere all righty then i will instead look at picture
sadly look to the side reach into my back pocket and i'm gonna take the thing that i think is most
likely to preserve his immortal soul okay i'm gonna take out the wand of fireball and i'm gonna fire
it uh around here to try to catch as many family members in the inferno as i can what's the what's
the radius on that yeah what's the radius on that that's a good question because it's not a spell
that i own you will actually if you hit if you hit right here yeah like you will you know if you
click use on it uh speaker it should pop it down and it'll do all the cool shit for you
do you want that i'm assuming yes i'm waiting for the picture no you card to push it five feet to the
right counter spell um uh now is that uh how many actions is that one two uh one to draw it okay and
then the cast would be two okay sure let's rock uh so i will be doing just that uh i do not have
fireball as a spell do you have the wand on your inventory i have it in my inventory let me see
here i'm not quite oh oh i see why yeah because because because it's a wand wands are kind of
silly that way uh give me a sec here
uh i'm just gonna roll the reflex saves because it should be a third level fireball
so we'll just make this work out how it needs to okay one sec because i uh click use on their
speaker it tell me what it does uh yeah because because they don't have wands for yeah they don't
have wands for every spell in in foundry that's the problem because it's just like a wand is an item
uh okay so i have to make reflex saves that's the important thing okay
okay whoop oh fuck well that's not good
yeah what's your spell dc uh speaker um my spell dc in your spell section and yeah my spell dc is 23.
yeah so all of them fail so roll me 66 and that'll be the damage they'll take yeah forever for podcast
listeners uh pick turn roll a 21 uh and two of the cousins one world a 20 another a 21 and 10
those are just rolled 20. nice boom boom as all of them suddenly take damage from this and you hear
again the picture and sort of like recoil back and for my next trick uh hasty i am hastied um
yeah i think i'm gonna jump down if that's possible yeah so can i can i jump down to try to avoid you
getting hit by the icky splicky you can just like do it like what's your athletics uh my athletics is
nine but my acrobatics is 13. yeah make an acrobatics here because you're like hopping down you're not
doing like physical exertion you're kind of cool uh 22. yeah yeah you can land where you need to nice
okay i'll uh i'll be right here okay sweet and that's the turn okay
the cousin
pardon me
rahua i'm here it lets you go and strikes you missing
missing and then it shifts you're aiming at actrix oh was i oh well
i actually don't think the ac is yeah so yeah um i'm going to back off with the third action and go
into the roch to to flank tanhauser with the other cousin volley oh baby all right um
let's see how far is that that's 20 feet that's exactly what i need to hit this man with a from
above spend two actions to make a jump your sky piratey dedication that you have yes indeed
uh and yeah i'm gonna uh rolling acrobatics yes to fall and maneuver hold on let me double check the
wording on that real fast uh foreign gets his scorecard ready for you yeah yeah exactly um
there it is make a melee strike deals one additional weapon damage die okay that's what it does all right
yeah i'm going to uh hit him with the the peoples from above do it up
it's the people's flip uh that'd be a 27 for you uh that will that will succeed so you'll land where
you need to and then you can make your attack okie dokie all right uh i did does it rule that we get
panache from it it doesn't say it in the it does it does yeah you should you should yeah
in fact i think that's like the special line for it oh i i got you yeah i have a macro for panache but
it just doesn't yeah i think i think what happens is anytime we update some of the mods it screws up
some of the old macros because a bunch of mine are working you're we we from the conversion you probably
have the old macro saved on your thing so probably redo it all right anyhow i'm going to whack this guy
does hit just barely with the 22 which you will get an extra so roll regular damage and then just
add a i think it's a d6 whoa that was that was my finisher yeah oh yeah and then it was uh one more d6
um i don't i don't know if you can do the finisher as part of that how many actions does it do a
finisher well because no no no it's because the finisher is a specific type yeah yeah yeah yeah so
you you what would happen is you do the from above and then you'd get panache at the end of it but like
you do an act you do a regular strike so just do a regular attack okay if you want to if you want to
keep the previous roll it was two force on the um two floors and then you roll another one because
you have um because you get the extra weapon die so roll me another d6 oh one more all right yeah so
8 12 and okay 13 cool 13 yeah and then you would have panache all right and then i would make another
attack map glad yeah and then and then you could do your finisher here yep i don't get to do from above
very often no verticality is cool all right uh missed oh no do i re-roll that do you you don't
have any hero points oh i don't have any hero points so uh with the finisher he would just take the 3d6
from the finisher damage uh yeah yep so you can just roll that that's it nine all three he's on the
die for nine yeah nine cool good job valley that was really cool thanks oren no problem thumbs up
don't touch the goop i won't spit some out of his mouth just eating it like pudding
uh uh he takes half of the precise strike on a failure not not the full before but yeah
okay cool um all right uh is it for volley i get rid of the panache yep that's me okay well um
despite being struck cousin billimus is gonna start going to town on speaker hey speaker can you
roll me a d20 i would love to roll you a d20 beautiful deep neat and i uh rolled his d20 for
the bake sale the bake sale i gotta i gotta remind you all that we are all zombies here we are doing
this for the bake sale the bake sale 24 will just hit you um that's i do everything in my life for the
bake sale too um so tanhauser will take bop bop bop bop 14 damage as this thing begins clawing into you
uh tanhauser can you roll me a second uh d20 please i would love to i keep accidentally rolling d12s or
almost rolling d12s that's an eight sir that's not enough to hit but i'm gonna use a villain point to
make speaker the attack on himself that's a 12 sir well plus it's not enough sadly boo urns
yeah and then just roll me uh we'll go crit fishing with the third action for 20 please
sure thing uh so close but so far all right billimus has uh struck you once but failed to do
anything else so yeah uh victrix you're up um with one one of the cousins still by you
uh can i sudden charge pick turn absolutely then i'm gonna do that i don't care if i don't care if
i eat a fucking attack of opportunity i want to get through him no no attack of opportunity from the
cousin all right and just a strike here we go yep
15. that'll hit 30. yep roll me damage
swingity swing i'll give you a 15. nice 15. okay um pick turn is still up
uh uh uh victrix is incensed by that i'm going to uh cry no i'm going to roll uh map minus five
oh you dick oh a swing enemy you do have a hero point victrix yeah yeah look at it look at the
hero point okay yeah i'll do that right there we roll with hang on i didn't give myself a hero point so
now i will try again
it's a marginal marginal improvement it danced on that not enough yep all right drop you son of a
bitch all right
it's the end of your go
oh yeah and you're not grabbed all right um so victrix after your go the cousin that was by you
uh maneuvers around the cabin to where we're who is oh god damn it
and uh this this cousin tries to once again grab you as you have the cabin attacking you
rahua and it will hit you and it will grab you motherfucker we're back here again
stop boring um and it will do
it's attacking tanhauser currently oh it's tech dan as well on target
all right uh and then it will do to you why is not tanhauser
it's revenge yeah it's real weird sometimes oh i see why okay real all right you take um
you take 10 points of damage as it holds you in place and just uses its last action to kind of
keep you held there great
picturn kiss
uh like coughing up blood i see uh picturn will oh
uh picturn will step away so it doesn't provoke damn will cast a spell
and will cast
he will conjure forth in front of you
a floating disc oh fucks i love ravenholm
and then the disc takes on a spiked appearance
destructive oh my god yes i i want picturn to crit fail so he freezes himself yes i want to trust me
it was i was i was i was telling jb this week i'm like all right here comes pick turns krillin attack
i want to say thank you jamie for accepting the term um eating his ass on the twitch chat thank you
thank you
i really love that sophie was the one that's all any crit oh yeah oh no oh god that's fine
this is victrix she she earns it okay okay so this is a heightened version so this will be
my girlfriend one sec one sec this will be 8 d8 damage
give her more reasons to kill him okay so that'll be 49 damage or 39 sorry 39 and then you will also
have a persistent
wait hang on how much damage did you actually do with that one 39 i was actually kind of i was
kind of dinky what the fuck but you're a fighter you have a lot of yeah you have a fighter you have
a lot of hit points also rolled low on this yeah i know that's what i meant is like this damage i
thought it would be higher with 8 d8 not really average of numbers man i ain't complaining that could
have gone to rahua and he would have died yeah okay and then for some reason i can't get the
persistent damage on correctly but you will be taking persistent uh you'll be taking persistent bleed
damage here oh no she knows what it's like to as it's cut and for the the final the the house continues
to to munch on you uh rahua um so if you will please i'll just click the cast button on the house
again uh ru if you'll click the reflex save option there problem is i think you're targeting me again
i am it doesn't matter for for this one because like it's just um
um are you fucking kidding me wait hold on hold on picture removed for one action and did a spell
for two actions does he get a fourth action with the cabin oh yeah oh yeah he can't do the cabin
he can't sustain it that's right cabin disappear go away that's right well that was me being greedy
anyways hey same team real hokey did i redeem myself high five yeah high five please thank you
pick turn leaks gently oh my god he's still up while my pick turn gently but now he's down
the four points of damage applies and picture and begins to stagger back from the skewering
that has gone into uh him from victrix his eyes weeping rot he began like the bagpipes drop to the ground
the cousins immediately seem to like collapse into sludgy piles on the ground
and pick turn like staggers back and looks over at all of you
i knew it i knew it i knew that i couldn't couldn't couldn't defeat you you're too evil to me
touched touched touched touched touched you are touched you are touched touched but you've taught me
something and he he locks eyes with you volley you're the only one who was ever really kind to me
not just using me
and you taught me something volley
and as this happens you can see all of the sludge piles from the cousins and in fact like sludge from all
all of the buildings the rot kind of is coalescing around picturn squelchfoot
taught me
you taught me volley to believe
you taught me
to believe
in a higher
and the rot explodes around it
as appearing
is an immense being
of chitin
and rot
and an avatar
of volley's veneration
the great rotten
crawdad appears
or
dead
as i shall call him
rot dadimus
and that
is where we will end
today's session
it's your fault volley
and your belief in a funny fish
it's not my funny fish belief
because you rolled a natural one the last time
now we're gonna find a crawl dad boss
not even just the first time it was every subsequent time
well that thank you all so very much for watching hope everyone had a fantastic time with this episode
remember if you like the shows that we do and really want to help uh with all the fantastic art
things production etc you can always visit us at narrative declaration.com get yourself some pdfs
get all the art and all that other stuff we hope you had a fantastic time here
today and i'll just thank uh all of the amazing players who helped us out and make this episode happen
starting off with odoroshi
hello it's it's me i i am so mad that i have to kill my new god thurston
how dare you this is
and also picturn at the same time
i know my little guy and my new god it's
low who suffers more than volley even as rahua spent half the combat being eaten by a house
look you died twice it's okay
true well
well we'll we'll see if we can go three for three let's go all right next
as we have hulky crow
yes that is me i am hulky crow the
perpetual perpetually suffering sapling in this combat iteration anyway
but i've been playing the kinrasu cleric rahua hopefully i will come next session hopefully i'll
continue playing him but you can find me and my exploits on twitter the usual at
hulky crow on discord the narrative declaration community server uh and in a number of other
ogre popeneng productions various assorted voices which i am choking and dying
because they said we have erndel in that yeah howdy everybody my name is erndel and you can find me on
twitter at at erndelio and i handle a whole bunch of things for alpha busa including a number of
upcoming projects that me and speaker are excessively happy to be sharing with you when they eventually
happen eventually and uh this has been fun i finally get to play i get to play in the mud with everyone and be
crazy i enjoy being insane i'm going to begin eating tinfoil and picturn yes
of course next we have speaker d yes hello i have been playing the muted mastermind of mayhem mr tanhauser
himself you can find me on twitter at super snake kick you can find me on the various different projects
being done by alpha busa including hunter the parenting and also if the upper head attacks the speech and also
half-life zero viscosity and uh i for one welcome our new uh shellfish themed deity
i think it's possible yeah i have been your i have been your host and also playing oren the
strikes druid of course all the things are on the bear and stuff and i bang my head of getting the
narrative declaration train going to bang bang and i hope it keeps going faster but of course the one
who helps us a whole bunch making these adventures happen and everything is one and only thurston
hillman hi um i'm glad we get to have the the picturn heel reveal um i was always debating if i was
being too obvious about it but if you go back and re-watch all of season two of which uh our our
second adventure season two is probably coming to an end next episode if you couldn't guess by all
this stuff but you should go re-watch season two and all of our episodes but really season two
because uh you might you might see some hints or some little lore tidbits that you can pick up on now
with the reveal uh otherwise i'm super super excited to come back here and have some very
very rot datamus themed events going on um and then uh in the coming weeks coming into uh our
third adventure season three which will you know have a different turn as well otherwise um yeah
catch us in two weeks for the rot datamus uh confrontation uh also that'll be paizo con weekend
so i'm you know contractually obligated to say watch us and whatever paizo is streaming at the
same time but really watch us we're pretty cool um and you could see me on paizo con on friday and
sunday because i made sure not to be on saturday so i could do the show yay that's it for me yeah
and it's not tying ourselves too much that um remember we we also like to put uh updates that
are available to be seen for free on patreon and i recommend people start noticing some update posts
that will be coming up uh sometime next week so with that thank you all so much for watching
we hope you all had a wonderful time today we had a wonderful time with you goodbye everyone so long
farewell we'll see you next time bye everyone big time squelchfoot there's jevedica there's bellamus
there's titimus there was i think sarah there was yeah and they were all in hell