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Up Your Average is the “no nonsense” podcast made for interesting people who think differently. Learn to navigate your life with unconventional wisdom by tuning in to Keith Tyner and Doug Shrieve every week.
Not everybody wants to travel around the world and go out of the country, but just in your backyard, you know, making connections and, and, you know, doing food drives, helping at gleaners, helping, you know, any way you can just to help other people out. And and that's a great way to expand your world and and kinda get out of our own, you know, it's not about me. It's about helping others, and that's what we're supposed to do.
Caleb:Welcome to the Up Your Average podcast, where Keith and Doug give no nonsense advice to level up your life. So buckle up and listen closely to Up Your Average.
Keith:Alright, Doug. Here we are. How's it going?
Doug:Here we are. Gimbalfinancial.edu today.
Keith:EDU and not just the edu. Carmel. Yeah. Near and dear to your heart.
Doug:Near and dear. I love Carmel. I've sent all of our four boys to Woodbrook Elementary, which I understand our next guest has some experience there.
Keith:Well, we are honored to have a hall of fame teacher, Kelly Meyer, join us today. Kelly, how are you?
Kelly:I'm doing well. Thanks for asking. How are you guys?
Doug:Kelly, if you're a hall of fame teacher, like where's your jersey? Like shouldn't you be wearing like some kind of jersey with, you know, your number retired or something like that?
Kelly:No, I thought maybe I'd get that but I have a plaque outside of the performing arts.
Doug:Okay.
Kelly:The hall of fame hall right outside of the performing arts center.
Doug:Oh, I love that. We don't have that Keith.
Keith:Does the plaque have your face on it? Is
Kelly:It it does. And I make sure it was the best picture. I had a picture with my water and I'm like, oh, that's the one we're using. So yeah, it's pretty cool.
Doug:Man, you that is really impressive. I love that for you. And for your family. What a legacy thing.
Keith:Not only does Doug have a bias towards Carmel, he's got a sweet spot in his heart towards Ball State in Muncie, Indiana. Sure.
Doug:Yes, for sure. Yeah. We're, we're sending our oldest boy there right now. And I'm, I grew up in Muncie, my wife and I both did. So we're, we're big fans of Ball State.
Keith:Well, Kelly, we were talking in a past podcast about the idea that the bigger your problems are in your world, the harder it is to kind of live more fulfilled. So the smaller your problems will become in your world, the bigger life gets, the more enjoyable it gets. And there's things that we were talking about that can expand the size of your world. You can have a longer timeframe you think about things, you can be more thoughtful, you can travel, you can add wisdom to your situation or courage. And one of the things I liked from a conversation I had with Steve Haynes, introduced us is that you not only are a Hall of Fame teacher and Teacher of the Year, but you also do a lot of volunteering.
Keith:Maybe you could tell us a little bit about why you do that and how you got started in that.
Kelly:Okay, well, started back when my kids were young, I used to, take them over to Carmel back in the day, it was called Carmel, Care Center and now it's Carmel Health and Living, because I had a grandpa that lived there. And I used to be scared to go and visit him. I didn't like the smells. Didn't I was scared around the old people. Now I'm one of them.
Kelly:But I just told my husband, I said, I don't want our kids to be scared visiting elderly people. So we started going once a week to visit people. And then we started doing like a drive and collecting donations and taking gifts to each of the residents. My kids, we take a little wagon, and take little toiletries and stuffed animals and things. And just to get them used to being around older people, then we kind of made it into a, you know, Blake and Morgan both pick their favorite people that live there and we would bring McDonald's and sit and eat lunch or dinner with them.
Kelly:And it took off from there. And then I've started having students at school. Around Christmas time, we do a big collection and then a lot of my first graders and my teammates, kids come and join us and we go door to door passing out gifts to all the residents. So that's how it all started back when Blake and Morgan were probably three and four and now they're 32 and 30. So been doing it for a while.
Keith:Back in the day, there were these things called paper boys back in back in the olden days. I had a paper route that involved delivering newspapers and it was called a nursing home at the time. They probably called it an assisted living today. But I don't even know that I'd ever been in one before. I was in there dropping newspapers off and it is a little traumatic for a 12 year old delivering newspapers, but I think that's really wise to to get the kids like, I felt like you have a heart for the assisted livings too, don't you, Doug?
Doug:Yeah. We we do, like, Christmas flowers and send little Christmas trees to the nursing home right by our house. Yeah, that's a lot of fun.
Keith:Yeah, that's really cool. Now, the more recently, I thought you were involved with was it homeless people that you spent time with? Or
Kelly:Yes. Yeah. I went spent several years ago, I've gone on 13 or 14 mission trips through our church Northview. And I went on a trip to New York, and we worked with an organization called City Relief. And two, two friends that had gone there, Matt and Sandy Gay started Circle City Relief in Indianapolis.
Kelly:So, my husband, when I got back from New York, I said, I want to start volunteering with Circle City Relief. And he's like, Well, you can do that. I'm not going to do it every month. And he does it with me every fourth Sunday, and we've been doing it ever since. So we go on a Sunday and we usually get a couple of friends to go with us, my best friend and a former coworker.
Kelly:And we try to get our daughter and her fiance and brother to come and they basically serve we prep Little Caesars pizzas, and fruit and all kinds of things. And then you go out to the serving site downtown. And last week, we had close to 200 people that are either homeless or just not living in the best conditions. They offer biblical counseling. They offer addiction support and all kinds of services outside of the food that's donated.
Kelly:So yeah, it's become our, our monthly thing. And we have friends that like to sign up and actually have had some students that have come. And a couple of them who have met people that we've befriended and keep in touch with them. So yeah, that's another another easy way to get out and kind of get out of your comfort zone. You know, we we used to think, I just remember my parents taking us downtown.
Kelly:And when we'd start to drive downtown, we'd roll our windows up and lock the doors, because he didn't want anybody getting into your car or you know, walking down the street and crossing the street so you didn't have to go by a homeless person. And now I that's the big joke. Everybody's like, Oh, she has any left over pizza when we go on our Chicago trip, she's gonna want to stop and give it to somebody. So to not be scared there, I mean, we're we could be in that same position, you know, just to lose a job, lose, you know, have an illness or whatever. And that could be us out on the street.
Kelly:So just trying to keep that in my mind that they deserve to be loved just like everybody else.
Keith:I don't know about you, Doug, but I think when I consider homeless people, it just occurs to me that that's somebody's child. Absolutely. How I process it and, and we've had friends whose children have made some bad decisions and people can end up there that didn't really even know they were on that path and it's pretty humbling. My experience, it's humbling just to look a homeless person in the eye and talk to them because they're a real being. They're human.
Keith:Yeah.
Kelly:Steve Haynes actually came with us a couple weeks ago, and they asked him because it's the first time he'd been to the serving site, how he felt and he said humble. That was the that's the first thing he said. And, years ago, we worked with another organization called the poor house. And, I walked by I was wearing a heavy jacket that was my son's. And this guy stopped me and he said, Hey, you know, where'd you get that jacket?
Kelly:I saw it's my son's. He goes to school in Alabama. We got to talking and he said, I'm embarrassed to say but he said, I, lost my mom got into some drugs and bad situations and ended up homeless. And, I told him I was a teacher in Carmel. And he said, I went to Carmel.
Kelly:And my best friend was with me at the time. And he turned around and told me when he graduated, and he graduated with me. And my parents turned around and just started sobbing. She's like, Oh my god, he lived a couple houses down from me and didn't even recognize the guy. And he's like, Yep, I had everything.
Kelly:My mom died. I lost it all. And now I'm on the street. So yeah, you just, you just never know. So
Keith:I would imagine that the more homeless people you spend time with your world does happen to grow because your problems just seem relatively insignificant when when you're hanging out with people that really have some some serious problems.
Kelly:Yeah, it's it's definitely eye opening. My husband kind of laughs because when we go, I have a friend Nicole and a friend named Michelle that we've met. And they're like, if we can get a bus ride there, is there a way you can bring us home? So Jeff's like you said, she's on the way home. She lives in Speedway.
Kelly:That's not really on the way back to normal. But you know, when they pick up all the food and clothing and everything, I'm like, come on, we gotta help them out. So yep, I I have trouble saying no sometimes. But it's it's cool to see that we've made so many friends over the years that trust us, and they look forward to seeing us. I mean, obviously, you don't want to see them on the on the, you know, the serving line every week, you hope that they would get out of that situation.
Kelly:But just knowing that they trust you and they come alongside you and want to volunteer because they know that organization is really helping them too.
Keith:What if we pivot a little bit, and I probably should have asked permission to pivot this direction before we go.
Doug:Like, you
Keith:volunteered with breast cancer awareness and things and then appeared that then you found out that you had cancer yourself. Maybe talk, if you don't mind, a little bit about process, like life's good and then all of a sudden you go to the doctor and it shifts and then you become the one that you were helping.
Kelly:Yeah, exactly. Well, my mom, about twenty eight years ago was diagnosed with breast cancer. And my sister, Kathy and I were like, we should do something. So we started doing the race for the cure walk, and we just walked with mom. And then I was like, you know what, I want to do a team.
Kelly:So, you know, we did it for, gosh, over twenty years. And we ended up being one of the largest fundraising teams. Our team name was faithful friends. And it just got to be almost an obsession of mine. I was like, I want to raise funds for this.
Kelly:So we would set team goals. And you know, we'd have anywhere from 20 to a 100 people on our team raising money. Most of the money was raised by just a few people, but I'd send money or send pledge letters to anyone I sent a Christmas card to. And, with self addressed envelope, they'd send it back. And then we were just all about being one of the top fundraising teams.
Kelly:You know, you'd win the party tent, then you get to walk and do all the stuff. And one year we had, there was a bras. I don't know, a bra event down in Broad Ripple, they had all these leftover bras where they did like this bar bar crawl. And they're like, we're just pitching them. And we're like, hey, we'll hang them around our tent.
Kelly:So everybody knew which tent was ours. And he just did it for years. And then over the years, I just found like, one of my dearest friends, my kindergarten teacher, Ina, was diagnosed. Both of my best friends, Patty and Lisa's moms had breast cancer. And then just hundreds of friends over the years.
Kelly:And then in 2020, right during COVID, I was diagnosed. I was like, Oh, this is great. So I was blessed that it was found early. And I had three lumpectomies and radiation and five years of a lovely call tamoxifen. But just got off of that a couple weeks ago.
Kelly:And so far so good. But yeah, it's you think, okay, I'm doing this for all these other people. And then it's like, oh, now I'm one of those people. And and just so many people, you know, when you think one out of every eight women are going to be diagnosed, and just want to find a cure for all cancers.
Keith:Did feel like when you were told that you had it that your world was shrinking? Or how did that? How did you like that instant? Like how did you process and move forward at that moment?
Kelly:Well, it was it was interesting because I had just done a fundraiser. I did a jewelry party at my house. And so I don't know, there's probably 30 women. And I said, You know what, I just have this gut instinct that when I go to the doctor this week, he's gonna say I have breast cancer. So one of the ladies said, Yeah, I said, I don't know.
Kelly:I just it just was this weird feeling. And, one of the ladies said, Would you mind if we just circled up and prayed for you? And they did. And then I went to church that week and they did this miracle prayer and and this lady prayed over me. I said, I don't know.
Kelly:I just feel like I'm gonna be the one out of the three daughters. And sure enough, I was. But I just felt like people from all the years working with people supporting breast cancer, so many people reached out to me, you know, former parents that I had their kids in school, who had been through breast cancer sent letters. One one guy that now plays basketball in college, drove over to my house and just put a letter in my mailbox with a breast cancer ribbon just saying thinking of you, Mrs. Meyer.
Kelly:And yeah, so I felt I felt all the love from all the people in the community. So that was a good feeling during a time when you couldn't be around anybody, you know, because of COVID.
Keith:That was definitely a kind of confining time. And would assume even like the loneliness of trying to get the treatments would be different because my wife was going through cancer at that time, treatment, and I was just clueless and they literally threw me out of the cancer treatment place. And so so before that, at least there was some camaraderie of family members But in once they once they shut those down, that was pretty isolating.
Kelly:Yeah, you had to sit up. I remember my husband was out in the parking lot. And I just told myself during that time when I went through the radiation, I said, I'm going to make friends with people in the waiting room who are going through the same thing as I am, or just going through radiation. So I made it a goal to just smile and say, Hey, like, what are you in here for? How many treatments have you had?
Kelly:And because I thought, know what, we're all in this together. And it's, it's depressing knowing that especially for someone like me who's an extrovert. I don't have anybody to talk with, you know, I was like, okay, this is awkward. I when I had one of my surgeries, some random gentleman came walking in and asked me how I was doing. And the nurse comes in and she said, Is this your husband?
Kelly:I said, No, it's just some guy. I said, he must have thought, Oh, she needs someone to talk to. But yeah, it just definitely was a tough time. But I was very blessed that it was caught early. And it's been great to be able to encourage other people.
Kelly:One of my sorority sisters and teammates I taught with was diagnosed like a few months before I was. So and now Carmel Schools have started a support group for breast cancer survivors. So lots of people going through it. Actually, a friend I'm meeting tonight. One of the buddies that we, each month we take out a friend of mine who is on the spectrum, there's a group of us that go out to dinner.
Kelly:And both of his sisters have gone through breast cancer. His sister that was my student teacher was just diagnosed recently. And she's getting ready to go through, you know, having the surgery and all that stuff. So yeah, it's definitely hits close to home.
Doug:Hey, wait, you said you take out a buddy. Is a buddy a student?
Kelly:It well, he is a friend. It's kind of funny when I started taking my kids to the nursing home. A co worker of mine that was a resource teacher, Her mom was at Carmel Care Center. And I said, I would love to, you know, go visit your mom. So I started taking my kids to visit her.
Kelly:And then one of my students' grandma, her name was Gayulo was there. So I would take Kelsey to see her grandma. And then it just extended into this bigger group. Well, when when Margaret passed away, and I called Peggy and I said, know, I'd love to take your son out and Chris has autism and he's in his 50s now. But I said, could I take him out just for dinner or something?
Kelly:And it ended up being like, you know, fourteen, fifteen years ago that we took him to Ben and Ari's for dinner. And now it's monthly dinners with Chris each time. It needs to be a different restaurant. He calls me the night before to give me a reminder that the gang needs to come. So tonight we're going to Wolfies and Carmel.
Kelly:Our group has grown, we have my best friend and then Nikita and Julie that I taught with at Cherry Tree. But they both have like four or five kids each. So he gets very frustrated when it's just Kelly and Lisa, and his mom and maybe Julie and Nikita and maybe one kid. He's always like, well, where are the others? You know?
Kelly:So it's it gets harder because everyone's schedules are different. But yes, we, that is our monthly thing. We get together. We took a break for a while because he was having a rough time being able to, be kind to his mom in public. So kind of had a little time out period.
Kelly:But yes, we are back at it tonight. And before we even order dinner, he's going to be asking where we're going next month and calling me on the fifteenth to remind me.
Doug:So Kelly, like, one of the things I think about, I'm an extrovert. I love to be out there. I love to be hanging out with people, talking, encouraging them. And, like an airplane, when the oxygen masks drop, you gotta put it on yourself before you put it on somebody else.
Kelly:Yeah.
Doug:How does the encourager get encouraged?
Kelly:Well, there's, there's that. My mom got me a sign that says stop her before she says yes again, or something like that. And I have learned, I think, since I went through the breast cancer, talking to my sister, Kathy, and different friends that, you know, I have to take care of myself. And I think when I went through the cancer and had gained weight and everything, I was very down on myself. And I said, I think over the years when, like, when my son was going through a phase of not being very kind to his mom, I thought, well, you know what, I'm going to help other people, because that makes me feel good inside.
Kelly:And they enjoy being around me. But then I got to the point, I'm like, I'm doing it for so many people that it wears me down. So I am now involved in a program at Carmel Wellness for the teachers where they have counselors, dietitians, personal trainers, exercise classes. So this year is the year to get healthy and be around so that when I am with my grandkids, I can, you know, get up off the ground and not have them making fun of the sounds I make as I'm trying to move.
Doug:That's great. So you're making a big investment in yourself this year. Sounds
Kelly:That's that's my goal.
Doug:Yeah. Yeah. Man, Keith, if I had the title this podcast, if I was Caleb, our podcast producer, I think I'd highlight I'm going to make friends. I just I really appreciate that, Kelly, how you're in the waiting room thinking, what could I do here to be a light to other people or to open your worldview. And it's all about relationships.
Doug:And so just to be able to make a friend is pretty impressive.
Kelly:Yeah. I will definitely be one of the older ladies that's in a nursing home, not in someone's basement or living alone. I'm I'm all about being around other people to the point that, when you have teammates who are are not like that, I just I'm like, hey, guys, you know, we don't eat together because during COVID, everybody closes their doors. But I you were talking about what am I doing for myself? I take that twenty five minutes or so to listen to soft, smooth jazz and have my quiet time, because I don't normally have that quiet time.
Kelly:So I know that that is something I need to work on, and getting rest and eating properly. So, my teammates have helped me understand that. But yeah, I'm all about meeting people.
Keith:Well, you've been real generous with your time, Kelly. Is there any parting words you'd want to tell our friends that they were thinking about expanding their world with volunteering or anything?
Kelly:Yeah, I would just say, find something you're passionate about. I when I retire, I want to work with young adults with disabilities. And, you know, I think just going out and finding an area where you feel like you can help others out, whether it's, you know, doing mission trips. You know, I know, like my husband has said, not everybody wants to travel around the world and go out of the country. But just in your backyard, you know, making connections and, and, you know, doing food drives, helping at gleaners, helping, you know, any way you can just to help other people out.
Kelly:And and that's a great way to expand your world and and kind of get out of our own, You know, it's not about me, it's about helping others. And that's what we're supposed to do.
Doug:Be sweet.
Keith:Yeah, thanks. Before we part, you want to show off your friend that you're hanging out with there to our friends?
Kelly:Come here. Hold on. Let me get her. Come here. Oh, she thinks for playing a game.
Kelly:Alright. Alright.
Doug:This is Harper the dog. Right?
Kelly:Rose. You say hi. She's like, where's the sound coming from? She's a licker. That's the one thing.
Kelly:Like, we've never had a dog that's a licker, but my goodness. We know that's the way you show your love, but there's other ways You can just lay
Keith:in the
Doug:trash. There are other ways. Volunteer.
Kelly:Don't take care.
Keith:Kelly, thanks for hanging out with us. You have a great afternoon.
Kelly:Thank you so much. You guys too. Take care.
Doug:Bye bye. See you.
Kelly:Bye.