Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
In this shiur, Rav Dov Ber Cohen addresses one of the defining struggles of modern life: the relentless striving, comparing, and craving that leaves people exhausted yet unable to rest. He draws a car
The Rabbi Dov Ber Cohen Podcast explores Jewish mindfulness, emotional mastery, relationships, and real inner avodah.
In each shiur, Rabbi Dov Ber shares practical Torah wisdom for navigating anxiety, deepening connection, strengthening emunah, and living with greater presence and purpose.
Rooted in Chassidic depth yet grounded in everyday life, these teachings are experiential, honest, and transformative.
If you’re seeking clarity without pressure, growth without guilt, and spirituality that actually changes how you live - this podcast is for you.
it's actually a very good topic because tonight I want to talk about what I noticed in the world and what the remedy is and what I noticed in the world is that many people are a little bit uptight people are a little bit uptight a little bit intense very few people seem to just be okay and present and have peace of mind lots of people are highly strung and it feels like life in a way is really treading water and there's a lot to become and there's a lot to prove and I'm comparing myself to other people all the time so people seem to be very kind of overwhelmed nowadays and don't seem to be able to make decisions I was speaking to someone the other day and they were saying really should I stay in Yeshiva for another year or should I go and get a job and they were very uptight about it you know should I stay in Yeshiva and I said just chill out a little bit and we can still make the decision but you don't have to be uptight about making the decision you don't have to be so intense about making the decision and I was actually on a video with Nas Daily I don't know if you know him he's a popular Palestinian Israeli and he's got about 60 million followers and we did a video about Judaism together and behind the scenes he actually said to me you know you lived in England you grew up in England not religious and then you studied philosophy at university and you then lived in Asia for six years practicing Buddhism and martial arts and meditation and silent retreats and yoga and then you came to Israel and you started learning Torah and you've been learning for many years and Kabbalah what's your message what's the one thing that you really want to give across to the world what do people need to know and I really thought about it and I said to him my message is that people need to chill out a little bit just chill out a little bit just chill out so I know people who are very healthy but they become kind of health freaks and they're gluten free and sugar free and they do Bikram yoga five times a week but they're kind of healthy but they're kind of unhealthy unhealthy healthy people because they're just overly intense about it there's always running always trying to reach something and become something and it's never ending because there's always more to do and I can always compare myself to other people and my sense of self really is based on my success and my achievements in life so I'm always striving to achieve more and do more and become more and get more followers and more attention and more more I just need more and running and running and doing more all the time and it's just really creating a bit of an intense society and then people in order to deal with that after work or after whatever they do they veg out so I think there's a big difference between chilling out and vegging out vegging out is just trying to turn yourself off trying to forget life and just trying to get away I'm trying to distract myself I'm trying to escape my life so people sit in front of screens a lot or they smoke or drink or whatever they're doing but they're basically pretty intense and then kind of collapse and then go again and kind of collapse and go again and it's a really really unhealthy lifestyle and people are wanting I just want I want I want so much I'm wanting I'm wanting I'm wanting I'm wanting I'm needing we really understand that wanting is really saying that I'm lacking and I'm lacking and then if I get something then I won't be lacking anymore so then I'll be happy so we're really chasing happiness we're chasing relationships we're chasing peace of mind we're chasing sense of self we're chasing all these things all the time and so when I get somewhere when I get there then I'm going to be a happy person then everything's going to be okay and it's causing stress and it's causing tension and it's causing lots of anxiety and not a healthy lifestyle so the answer is tea you need to have a nice cup of tea everything's going to be okay so I'm going to tell you what the answer is because Hashem thought of this at the beginning at the very very beginning and the earth was a mess it was just a mess and then he created the minerals and the vegetables and the animals and the humans and he says you're going into the garden to work and guard it and then we had the whole mess and the snake and everything's going on that first day really the first Yom Shishi they were just born and then they had this relationship and then they had this snake and the tree and the sin and it was a big big mess and then the seventh day came the seventh day came and the seventh day is the antidote and the healing to the whole mess of life and the whole intensity and the whole chasing and the whole craving and the whole running and the whole trying to become something and achieve something what happened on Shabbat? the final thing in creation happened B'at Shabbat B'at Menucha I love Rashi I just love Rashi in general but Shabbat came what came? Menucha what was missing? what was missing in the world? Menucha Menucha we didn't have Menucha we had Balagan we had striving we had relationship we had bad thoughts we had snakes we had negative character traits we had free will we had choice we had working the gun and guarding the gun we had so much there was so much going on and in fact whenever the Torah mentions Shabbat it mentions for six days you shall work so there is this idea of work there is this idea of striving and growing and becoming that's very very important but even our striving and growing and becoming has to be done in a healthy way in a healthy way in a way of Menucha so along comes Menucha Menucha Menucha the final thing in creation and really perhaps one of the greatest things apart from humankind itself the greatest thing in creation is Menucha Shabbat Menucha and what does Menucha mean? Menucha doesn't mean I'm passing out you know thank God it's the weekend I'm just going to pass out it doesn't mean rest what it means and this is my translation just for today's class it means being at ease being at ease which is the opposite of being stressed and full of tension and being intense and being highly strung it's just being at ease being present I'm just present now and as we know the word Shabbat comes from the word which means to stop related to the word which means to sit down related to the word which means to settle related to the word which means peace of mind and it really means Menucha Menucha means a full full bodied being at ease being okay being okay I'm at ease I'm okay that's what I am I'm at rest it doesn't mean resting but I'm at rest now I'm not chasing anymore I'm not uptight I'm not worrying about the future anymore I'm not regretting the past anymore I'm just being completely present I'm here so physically physically I'm relaxed many people are very tense very tight in their body even physically body is very tight and people do exercise lots of exercise that people do is a good exercise it's good to go to the gym and it's good to do what working out everything we're doing but even the exercise is a bit intense exercise few people nowadays that I see are doing Tai Chi Qi Gong just relaxing just relaxing relaxing the body so the body itself needs to be relaxed having a hot bath calming your senses a cup of tea soft Yanuka music you need to be in a state of physical well-being I'm just physically at ease I'm at rest I'm well taken care of I'm eating well and I'm sleeping well and I'm not I don't have screens in my face at night this is actually very it's quite late at night here I wouldn't usually necessarily be looking at the screen at this time of night but bright light and white light and red blue light and I don't even know which one's good and which one's bad anymore but looking at a flashing screen a flashing rectangle for basically 75% of our waking hours is not good our system is completely over bombarded we got car horns and people shouting at each other and bad news reports and smells and literally we're being completely bombarded we've got okay I have my sweet 7 year old son here he's not asleep yet but we're trying to get him to sleep you just need to have Menucha Menucha Tanefe so we're being bombarded and also we've got electromagnetic waves just pulsing through us the whole time this is why it's really important to ground yourself to walk on grass barefoot just to get out all the electromagnetic waves that are pulsing throughout our physical system what we're eating tortured animal we're eating a lot and processed foods and I'm not going to get into a whole kind of lifestyle thing right now but our system is completely being overwhelmed with how we're treating it and then we just try to relax somehow maybe smoke some weed or do something and that's actually not helping in the long run really so Menucha Tanefe really starts physically I need to be physically at ease physically at peace my body is literally at rest I'm just feeling peace in my body I'm loosening my neck and shoulders I'm breathing I'm okay and then emotionally I'm just feeling at rest I'm not feeling triggered people are very triggered a lot I'm triggered by what other people think of me and I'm triggered by the news I'm triggered by that person and I'm triggered by that situation and we're very emotionally frail I find now obviously one of the keys to emotional balance is physical well-being if you're feeling exhausted and overwhelmed physically then it's hard to be emotionally balanced but we really need to have emotional ease I'm at rest I'm at peace I feel safe I feel secure I have self-compassion I have self-nurture I'm not chasing I'm not chasing I'm not needing I'm not needing so much anymore mentally as well mentally you need to be at peace you have peace of mind people's minds are all over the place and usually in the future probably 90% of what people are thinking about is what they want and how to get it I want that and I need that job and I need that relationship and then I need that new apartment and I need that thing and I don't want that to happen so for many people living in the future what do I want and how do I get it what is achievement how am I going to get my achievement and what am I going to get from achievement I'll find happiness somewhere I'll find happiness and fulfil
I know when to push and I know when to hold back. I know when to let go of control and I know when to take control. It's just a very, very healthy approach to life. Menuchat HaNefesh. I'm okay. Everything's okay. So what happens, and this is what Shabbat is all about, obviously, what happens is once you have Menuchat HaNefesh, which means I don't have so much Ratzan, you tap into an even higher level, which is called Oinek. Oinek. And the Zohar says there's nothing higher than Oinek and nothing lower than Negah. Oinek means delight and pleasure, maybe, but real pleasure. We're chasing small pleasures. We're chasing the pleasure of temporary, superficial type of pleasures, but there's a real pleasure. There's the pleasure of Menuchat HaNefesh. There's the pleasure of not chasing. There's the pleasure of Sameach Bechalkot. There's the pleasure, I'm just here. I'm just present. There's the pleasure of your soul. There's the pleasure of your Neshama. There's the pleasure of when your mind has calmed down and your body has calmed down and you're just really deeply in the present moment. So the greatest pleasure is presence. And that's why we say, Litaneg Al Hashem. What is Oinek Shabbat? Litaneg Al Hashem. I am getting delight in Hashem. But in order to get delight in Hashem, I have to stop chasing the external things. The Nativa Shalom says that even the Oinek Shabbat, some people say it's food. Food is Oinek Shabbat. But all you're doing with food, he says, is you're paying off your guf. You're paying off your body. You're saying, here you go, buddy. Here you go. Here's a little, I'll throw you some stuff. You can eat it. You can feel good. Basically, Menuchat HaNefesh, the body, the nefesh. I'm Menuchating, I'm putting my nefesh at ease, my body at ease, because I've given you the food and the wine and the stuff you want. So now you can just sit and sing Nigunim. Kaih Tsoif. Min HaHaHayeitzi Me'Eden. This is what the Eden is. Oinek, we all know, is the words, Eden Nahar Gan. It says that there's this place called Eden. This week's parasha talks about this place called Eden, this supreme, spiritual, heavenly realm called Eden. And there's a river. And the river from Eden feeds the garden. And some people think Gan Eden is the whole of Eden, but it's not. There's this bigger place called Eden. Out of one part of this place called Eden, this paradise, and Eden comes from the word Adin, which means gentle, and it means pleasure. Eden means pleasure. Eden and Oinek are very similar, very related terms. So out of this high spiritual place, there's a Nahar. There's a river, a flow of divine sweetness, a flow of divine goodness, and it's watering the Gan. Eden Nahar Gan Oinek. And what is the Gan? The Gan is our reality. It's our physical world. It's really the garden of our consciousness. So what we're really trying to do is we're trying to pull down Litaneg Al Hashem. Oinek Shabbat. Some people think Oinek Shabbat is popcorn and Mike and Ikes, and not Oinek Shabbat. You can pay off your body with that. Oinek Shabbat is Nigunim. Kayich Sof. I'm yearning. I'm yearning to tap into Eden. I'm yearning to be in Gan Eden, pulling down through the Nahar and bringing that down into my consciousness. But the only way you can tap into that level, because obviously we say the Eden and the Nahar and the Gan is the Neshama, Ruach and Nefesh. Eden is the Neshama, the completely spiritual, full of love and joy, connected, deveikas place of high consciousness. The Nahar is the Ruach, the flow. That's what Ruach is. It's a flow. And the Gan is the physical, is the Nefesh. So I want to be flowing into my Nefesh. I want my Neshama to be flowing through my Ruach into my Nefesh. That's what I'm really trying to do. Judaism says the Nefesh and the body is not a bad thing. The body is very, very, very, very, very holy. You can't put on tefillin if you don't have an arm. You can't give tzedakah if you don't have money and a hand. So the body can be very, very, very holy. But we have to have Menuchat HaNefesh, the body's own Ratzinus, the body's own desires, my physical desires. I just heard a shiur of Daniel Gladstein. There's a malbim. I'm actually going to look it up now. A malbim on the parasha that says that the four rivers that come out of Gan Eden represent Kina, Taiva, Kavod, which is jealousy, physical craving, and honor-seeking, which, by the way, those three things are the achievement, the comparison, the striving, the stress. I have a Taiva. I need more food. I need more clothes. I need more stuff. Because if I get more stuff, I'm going to feel good about myself. And Kavod, I need more honor. I need more people to like me. And I need more honor. And Kina, jealousy, I'm jealous of what other people have. The Pekka Avot says, Kina, Taiva, Kavod, Maitzin, and Ta'ada, Mino, Olam. Jealousy and physical craving and honor-seeking take you out of the world. What's that really saying? It's taking you out of Gan Eden. It's taking you out of Eden. It's taking you out of Neshama. It's meaning you're not being present. Because if I get more, I don't want them to have what they have. That's jealousy. I want something. That's Taiva. And then I'm honor-seeking. I need more honor. That's completely destroying our peace of mind. Completely destroying us. So Eden, Gan Eden, let's get back into Gan Eden. The fourth one, by the way, he says, is Torah. The river of Torah, which is the healthy one. The river of Torah is actually tapping us back into true Oinek because it's teaching us how to use our body and our physical desires. Because obviously Hashem wants us to enjoy the physical world. He gave us taste buds and He gave us fruit and He gave us beauty. Hashem wants us to enjoy this physical world, but He wants us to make the physical world into Gan Eden. Le'avdoy v'shamrat. To work it and to guard it. And to our own minds. We've got to work and guard our own minds. So this is what we're trying to do. Actually, it came to me as I was thinking about this class that we have the word Menuchah in two parts of the soul. We say Menuchat HaNefesh and Nachas Ruach. Nachas Ruach is also a Menuchah. A Menuchah. So in one sense, I'm Menuchahing, I'm settling my Nefesh and then Nachas Ruach is I'm settling my Ruach. So once I have Menuchah for the Nefesh and Menuchah for the Ruach, I've given them what they need. Then I can reveal the Neshama. I'm bringing those parts of me out. So I'm actually going back up. I'm going from the Gan up the Nahal into the Eden. I'm returning to Eden, which obviously in this week's parsha, it says that Hashem blew the Neshama in through our nose and we all know that the way to go from the Gan into the river, into Eden is through our breath, Meshima Neshama. That is the way to get Menuchat HaNefesh. Breathing deeply through your nose relaxes you on a physical level. Breathing deeply through your nose relaxes you on an emotional level, sends a message to your system that you're safe and secure. Breathing through your nose means you're focused on the present moment, which calms your mind down. So once you breathe through your nose and you've calmed your body and your emotions and your mind, then you can tap into your soul. You have a body, a heart, a mind and a soul. So breathing connects all four levels. Breathing is very healthy for your body. It's very good for your emotional state. It's very good for your mental state and Meshima Neshama taps you straight into your Neshama. So the breath is taking us there. That's what we're really achieving here. Obviously another example of what Nachas Ruach means, we say every mitzvah we do is to give Nachas Ruach to Hashem. So what does Nachas Ruach mean? It really means to settle, to settle the spirit, which means really to bring Hashem into the world. We have Ruach, Ruach Elohim, which was in this week's parasha. So Nachas Ruach means I'm bringing Hashem's spirit into this world by what I do, by how I think, by how I speak and by how I act. Menucha, Menucha, Menucha, Menucha Tanefer, Shabbat Kodesh. It's all about Shabbat Kodesh. So what's the practical takeaway? What can we actually take away is that in order to beat the system, because we have to be in the work world. You know, I go to work. I've