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Finding life after loss, Two Dancing Widows dives into the stories of resilience, hope, and transformation. Hosts Toni and Hettie welcome new guests each week, from widowers and life coaches to those battling severe illness, who share their journeys through struggle and their paths back to joy. This podcast is for anyone navigating grief or simply looking for inspiration to live and love deeply again. Tune in for heartfelt conversations that remind us all that healing, while challenging, is a dance worth stepping into.
Hello and welcome back to Two Dancing Widows.
Today's episode is a little different, a little lighter and filled with love.
Before we dive into season two, we wanted to share something special, a Valentine's Day bonus.
The girls are stepping away from the usual depth to enjoy a fun conversation about love,
memories, and the traditions that have shaped how we celebrate this day around the world.
From childhood Valentine cards and sweetness to the global story behind the holiday,
to a joyful nod to gallantines, celebrating friendship, sisterhood, and the people who lift us up.
This one's all about connection, laughter, and love in its many forms.
So take a breath, smile with us, and let your heart grow a little warmer today.
And don't go too far, this is just the beginning.
Season two, episode one is coming soon, bringing new voices, new journeys, and more stories of strength,
healing, and hope. Until then, lean into love, celebrate your people, and as always,
keep dancing. Happy Valentine's and happy gallantines from two dancing widows.
The twilight glow, where memories blend, two souls reminisce, on life's winding men.
We laughter entails from a time so bold they share the stories yet untold.
Oh.
Well, hello again. We are the two dancing widows, and we're just in time for Valentine's Day.
And today we would like to have a discussion about Valentine's Day.
And I think Tommy's done a little bit of history about that.
And I'm kind of interested in this brand new thing that's going on, this Valentine's Day,
versus gallantine day. So, hey, Tony, what do you think?
Well, I wondered if Valentine's Day was something that was celebrated outside of the United States,
and I was very surprised to know that it is celebrated in 100 countries throughout the world.
Really? I just thought that it was something hallmark or made up for the United States to sell
cards in candy, but apparently not. And some countries, even the it's a holiday that women give
the candy to men. And then a men celebrate them on another day in March. Hopefully they get
jewelry. Oh, yes. And I just thought when you were talking about, let's talk about Valentine's Day,
I felt my earliest memories were those little cards that we got a box from the local drug store
probably or the dime store because they had the dime stores back then. And they had like 50 cards
in them or, and you signed one for each, put your name on it and signed one and gave them about
in your class. We had little paper sacks that every child had and we would decorate our sacks and
put them on our desk. And then the nuns, I was in casics, we were going to allow everybody to go
and put Valentine's in every once. I know. I love that. My mom used to give me a fox.
Yeah. We could have been the same one. It's tired of siling your name like just get some
night. No, I didn't because I loved the whole idea of Valentine's Day. You know, even though,
and and and and and the changes over time from, you know, when you're young, if some fun fun fun
holiday, it's one where it's about community friendship or things like that to that becomes a
romantic holiday. Okay. So, you know, did it. They cut that for you because in first and second,
third, rage, you're all just giving everybody voice girls. It didn't matter. A little card. So,
when did it change to that? I want to give, I'll say Jimmy because that's my favorite man.
So when did it become like, oh, hope, Jimmy gives me one. I'm gonna give you a more.
I think is I think as you mature as you get older and you have romance in your age, you remember
about what age though? Well, I sleep that with the first boyfriend in high school sophomore
that I thought that I would get something apart or candy or ice cream. Okay. Now, come on.
The irons. Was that your first crush at high school? It was the first one where I
expected a Valentine's Day gift. Now, it was not my first crush. My first crush was at five
years old. Okay. Where were were just this guy named Rodney McGee. I've known it's the kid.
So you were late on Rodney's look far. Well, no, I wasn't even way surprised me for my birthday.
And you know, my friend used to put her penny and the candy machine and sometimes you get out of
the gumball or that you get out a prize or you get out a bead yet will a bead and you can take
the bead and striggle and I love those those beads and I'm always putting a penny and the candy jar
to get a bead but I'd never could get enough to really make up for a Christmas thing. And for my
birthday, he wrapped me a whole jar of the beads that could be strong and I was smitten. I thought,
oh my god, I thought that was the most wonderful gift. I still think it's one of the most
gifts I've ever gotten and that was not in the Valentine's Day that was at five. But in terms of
romantic about in time, I think I saw Warren Heiss. We was the first time that I've got of that
holiday. You know, well, maybe I was out of my parents was my father gave us how big it was for
a kid. That was just yeah, bad always gave me that if I pick C Zemling. Yeah, anyway,
I think that's my y'all which was yeah, it's like that. I didn't have any mental relationship
to that that I could leave with her. No, I'd remember in sort of a six-something eighth grade,
you wanted to make sure that boy kind of liked you were faster. Well, he was usually an
entrepreneur boy, but you know, you were a fast or a little more 16 A's you think about
the best. Oh, absolutely. I wrote an antique Y special car. Yeah, yeah, isn't it just
like nothing else? Did y'all know that about my my pockets for? So therefore, I think that's our
then our true American tradition. I know is that the romantic part is the romantic part. I
think that's real wide and I do remember being in other places and seeing belt times day cars
okay, countries and things like that, but but now today is celebrated more broadly in the
United States where it's not just a romantic holiday because we also have gallant time and gallant
time Willie is about self-rained friendships. Yes, and it's about ensuring that you love yourself
and you know the nature of girlfriends and that you all appreciate each other. It's about
strengthening I think social bonds between girls, ladies, whatever except that I saw something
just last night above gallant time and they were saying that you could celebrate it that it was
men too that men and women as couples to celebrate but other couples it will be like gallant time.
I thought that doesn't to me that doesn't change it that's still gallant time. Yes, yeah,
yeah, I think that's a little weird yeah, I just yeah, I that could be Valentine's Day and then
you can do gallant time's day with you at a rose in your friend. Is that part of this new society
that tends to try to be inclusive with everybody and everything? I just like a new thing you have to
everybody has to be inclusive and at first I had a problem with the whole galatine so I'm like it's
Valentine's Day and you go out with your boo and you have a good time and if you're not
going dating anybody then you stay home and you watch a poem art who will be if you want or you
bowl or do whatever you want to do it then I thought how rude of you to dismiss a day that allows
people to embrace other people with kindness with the law with acceptance. Appreciation. Yes,
appreciation and I thought that was very good thinking of me and now I had to read things that
and thought and I thought any day call it what you want that embraces those things and allows us to
get outside and burst all heads and be concerned about someone else might be feeling as of when.
I think I think I like the idea of narrowing it though of course because every day we should be
doing that anyway or most of us to something for ourselves every day at home but I think by
designating this special day it creates a certain unity. Yes, it's a togetherness it is a day
that everybody can recognize yeah you know even if it's just like me calling a bunch of girls say hey
let's come out come on over bring it to serve or whatever we're gonna yeah bring the wine up
bring to whiskey whatever it's called celebrate galatine's day and we laugh at joke and it's a
time of togetherness it's the time for sharing and celebrating self-love because sometimes you know
we do we do pamper ourselves a different way Lord knows there's a million products that they
love to sell us I was thinking you know because I wanted those people that that sit there and I
weighed on Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday for the specials that they have on the talk show
about you know the view of this one is for you I still for the my phone and my hands or and you
could do to leave it scan and I'm really still in that that well okay how many more jars of
well Mace crew do I need and how many more jars of 50% off and free shipping yeah I don't know
well how many more of these things I mean I've got I've got I've got Lord knows I already have about 20
cams because I used to love cameras and took pictures everywhere I went and I only stopped because
everybody's taken a man they're all in the way and I hate usually pictures of the people take
because they don't really they just snap some people take good pictures but they don't actually
center you they don't care about what's in the background they haven't even care if they can see you
or if everybody's smile they just snap and then you get these pictures and they're and they're awful
so I thought well I think I'm gonna go back to take a photograph so rather than going in my
collection and Trump about 20 I mean very specific cameras and all that I ordered this camera on mine
because it was pretty crazy and I'll officially that's buddy I take most of my pictures now
with my phone now that I like to because I also have wonderful cameras but my cans and great kids
make me feel so anxious with are you going to use a camera my granddaughter almost was like what
is that yeah I know it's like a typewriter yeah it means yeah so I do a lot on the phone but I
really prefer a good care so I was thinking for Gavin time maybe about just having a girl
get together never buddy grime something to swap instead of grooming candy dry for that everybody
just bring something from their collection of items that is your grand new near new or gently
use and just swap and give it away it could be makeup and it needs to be fresh because one time I
get so concerned with that and I got this this makeup where when I opened it everything it was
going to drive up a mems grad knew the package hadn't been open but I don't know she must have had
for five years because so check the code before you give slide right yes yeah there's a call
all of them a while of things yeah so just make sure it's in code to be totally well that was
really good idea so so it's okay to celebrate Valentine's Day which has more girl romantic meaning
yes with your with your food with your husband or your loved ones and celebrated with your children
just to show love and respect and have him share things with other kids and I used to always send
on Valentine's Day gifts to do like children's teachers yeah as well yes you know cups with
the little parts on it or whatever that's all my teacher yeah that's a great idea you don't
have for your whole all stem podcasting yeah that kind of stuff oh my my co-host also you are
me to bring you something okay I mean okay yeah I think it's a good idea right audience
no no lab a whole lot of full of treasure yes and then I and then I want to be invited to the
Valentine's party too so like yeah I know about each brings I can you get out for that do you think
you know I'll pack yeah and you got peanut butter and burger oh oh oh oh I need some more I just
drink the last so Tony brings me this peanut butter bourbon she tries to give you drug anyway I
love it and you brought me a bottle it was at my house and the other night I just drink the last
chavibit it was so good for Valentine's or Valentine's Day put the rim around in for the chocolate
and let it drizzle down and then it's like a Reese's peanut butter cut are you sure yes but you get
a drip chocolate off a glass the inside oh you just go so that it drips down some the inside now
you know that a lot but it's good I had it in a bar once oh the movie and they get it it's like
drinking a recent peanut butter cut well well I'm thinking you could also just you know
wet the tap with the little bit of whiskey in it just dump it in some brush can you so that
that will be really pretty and you can happy that's one by this double grade but I mean so so do
you think that if a guy gives something to someone like you're not married and a guy gives you
Valentine's Day gift is that a special is that mean that he feels served way about he was that
just something that will work with biglings while I think he was interested yep it's not just big
nice well it depends on your relationship he's just really a good brim it's just depression
you know gift an acknowledgement of your friendship but you have p's someone that you've been
speaking for coffee maybe occasional movie or throwing out the dinner and he gives you a valentine's
day gift I would think that he's he's trying to let you know something something do you think women
put too much emphasis on those type of gifts and holidays and things like that I mean not just
women do people put too much emphasis of meanings behind things like gifts and things that you share
a holiday is like Valentine and because you got things like Secretary's Day you've got Valentine's Day
you've got your mother's day father's day I mean all these different days and you don't even
like on a mother's day just celebrate your mother a lot of times you give your neighbors things that
are mothers or you know some things to onset are you know they may not have a mother you but you know
their mother's too and it gets to be the circle gets to be quite wide and the expense gets to be
quite a lot especially on those holidays like Valentine's Day and even Mother's Day where you're
sitting flowers and you're sitting candy and and jurors is the number one Germany day is it
real yeah it is me jurors told me that okay if you don't he said they sell almost as much
during that time as they do it sometimes more than they do for Christmas wow okay I think
well this is a whole nother show but because I wanted to explore sometimes talking about
into the C before trust so when you're asking if some people put too much emphasis on a relationship
that is just starting I think so not everyone but I think some people have already planned their wedding
and another life together the net of 20 years before they've had six days doesn't I'm
passing I remember growing up girls would write down their name with the boyfriends oh yes I
hate to date girls don't even take their husbands name last names anymore now no a lot of young
women yeah because I think a lot of women wait till they're a little bit older to marry um and so
they already established themselves in their professional life a career and they don't take that
that last name but yeah I have to confess I was writing Jimmy's name on my books you will you
don't eat so you got I'll reach out your lesson and the 40 got it oh great app before they put a
ring on it like yeah yeah yeah probably knew each other for a year yeah I mean I've let it 13
and 14 so yeah so by 19 I was writing that name so you had totally climbed it yeah well I love
that idea Valentine's Day and I certainly hope that our audience is going to have a wonderful
Valentine's Day of that no matter how you spend it if you spend it gifting a with your children if
spend it with your children making valentines for other for classmates or for friends or for neighbors
be spending with grandfathers and grandfathers at taking them things whether they are at home or
whether they're in homes where you have to do it that you just spend some time picking up it as a
loving day and a day for friendship so if you want to do Valentine's Day or you want to do
Valentine's Day I think that you should what do you think I think you should too and also if you
just want to spend the day by yourself there are some very neat things movies they're great but one
thing I'm really interested in now is you mentioned before that our studio here is that beyond the book
in Homewood and one of the books I recently purchased from here it's a picture book of all kinds
of family and models right and did you share it with me your your family's it did a family book
if that touched my heart and that's something I think I'll probably do all right our valentines
day is pull out those old photos they make me laugh they make me cry they make me just remember
such a wonderful full rich life and I I think that's something I might do and so then will you make
a book and then when will you give it that is definitely off the stage and I'm going to use the
book I purchased here and your family book to kind of guide me how I want to just lay it out
and I'd love to give that to my grandchildren because I'm it and but I want to put the rule recipes
I think you told me about that put my dad my my son has my dad's recipes framed in this dining
room what I want to do that in the book is to put the recipes in there and put little ad adotes
little stories about the people and say yes why I those just little little things so that they can
actually really get to know those people I think it's a wonderful valentine they'll dance
right you might a project act you out of your project yeah Tony it sounds like you are ready to
what I look good up and put on those dancing shoes yes yes yes yes everybody say springtime
and dancing shoes springtime and dancing shoes yes you cook the flowers on your boot or no
haha Tony still word her book best on me is the equivalent of and I don't mean to be a
fits of to anyone and when my grandmother was in the nursing home we would go and I would think
for how cruel it was when they would put those birthday hats and crowns and flowers and
things on them and I thought that's really terrible when told them they wanted that or that's
wonderful well when I go to a nursing home I hope you put that on me I will because you like that
I do oh no I mean I would birthday hats now on my birthday no man and I promise we're about to
and stay I in fact it's funny I was looking at the field museums web page so today I ordered a
pair of earrings that have kisses on them and now I would have ordered the necklace that's a big
red hearted says love and I was going to be my gift to myself for Valentine's Day except that
it was $79 and that that was a lot so I I didn't order that but I did order the ear rings and uh
yeah I mean so when I get to that point uh if I yeah not go wood uh to that point where I may be
you know in my home or or in a nursing home please put a hat on me and celebrate I will definitely
do that do not put a hat on me and no flowers on my boots or no right stuff so I get no crowns
on my brows or your hand okay well we got but you gave another idea that's kind of something special
you could do chicato has all kinds of activities museums um our debt to the library's having something
the wide areas yes so that is not made ours you do over bone to your time how much it's make
heart have or you can make heart for your loved ones as well yes well we're so glad that you've
tuned in today we're looking forward to hearing you uh to having you to tune into us next week and
next week uh I think our next episode we're going to talk a little bit more seriously about uh what to
do after loss in terms of keeping your home your financial stability making this the decision to stay
or go and we will have a guest comment and talk about you know things that you need to do a
preparation for making those type of decisions so thank you for joining us today we always have
a good time with each other and we hope that you had a good time with us where you think Tony I
think this wonderful adult forget to celebrate with the beverage choice the sweetheart of your choice
and have a good valentine gallantine day and put on your dancing shoes absolutely even if it's only one
okay
Two dancing widows in a dance of life and praise.
Finding rhythm after 70 and time in space.
With every step a new story unfolds in the journey.
The beauty of aging is tall, tall.
Two dancing widows in a dance of life and praise.
Finding rhythm after 70 and time in space.
With every step a new story unfolds in the journey.
The beauty of aging is tall, tall.