Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode:  https://share.transistor.fm/s/3ff6cf9c
📓 Show Notes: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/211

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 211, Hasting considers being a ghost hunter while he and Action Poirot foil a revenge plot in the dustbin stairway. Remember, Canada will be all the rage!


Show Notes
Extreme Ironing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_ironing

Time Bandits

The Omega Code




Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Schedule
  • September 2 - Poirot - S02 E08 - "The Kidnapped Prime Minister"
  • September 9 - Poirot - S02 E09 - “The Adventure of the Western Star”
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Creators & Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Sarah:

I throw the whole

Sarah:

can down the middle. Clang clang clang clang.

Mark:

What's that sound, dear? I don't know, Luigi.

Sarah:

That's just a trash troll.

Mark:

It's fine.

Sarah:

Hey, Maniacs. Hey,

Mark:

Mystery Maniacs. Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of a show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love. This week, Poirot, the adventure of the cheap flat season 2 episode 7. I'm Mark.

Sarah:

I'm Sarah.

Mark:

There's no murders anymore in

Mark:

Navy shows.

Sarah:

I know.

Mark:

We think it's a murder.

Sarah:

It's a good thing we're not murder maniacs.

Sarah:

Yes. Well,

Sarah:

it's a good thing we're not murder maniacs in general, but I I had it in my head.

Mark:

The Poirot Insane Clown Posse crossover podcast.

Sarah:

I had it in my head that I was gonna start this episode doing the horrible Italian accent that the assassin does.

Mark:

It's me, Mario.

Sarah:

I was gonna say, it's me. It's Sarah. It's a mystery maniacs. If you just put an on everything, you're Italian

Mark:

all of a sudden. It is horrific, but it's not the worst accent of the episode.

Sarah:

You killed Luigi. Like, spaghetti.

Mark:

Spaghetti.

Sarah:

That makes you Italian, apparently.

Mark:

I guess. If you're let your kids go to see gangster movies, they should be able to listen to the podcast.

Sarah:

And we are going to spoil the mystery of the cheap flat. If you don't know what the mystery is, go watch it. It's adventure of the cheap flat. I know, but we're gonna ruin the mystery.

Mark:

There's not much adventure in this episode either. Well, Poirot has a gun.

Sarah:

So I there's guns and Poirot breaks into an apartment.

Mark:

That's true. There is some adventure.

Sarah:

Like, I'd say that's pretty adventurous. Poirot goes to a dirty place.

Mark:

He does. That alone is fun dirty. Dirty dirty.

Sarah:

Is an adventure. But before we dive into the episode, last week, we had a question.

Mark:

Our question was, what hobby have the lady Barnabas not been involved in that has led to murder?

Sarah:

That they should. Yes. And that would then subsequently lead to murder. Yes. Somebody wrote in and said knitting, duh.

Sarah:

Why haven't they done that?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Because knitting needles are a great murder weapon. I'm sorry they are.

Mark:

Completely great murder weapon.

Sarah:

Unless you're like me and you always use circulars, and then it's, it's it's a bit tougher.

Mark:

I'd still poke myself. Remember, I cut myself combing my beard the other day.

Sarah:

You did. Crochet, it's much tougher to hurt somebody with

Mark:

a crochet

Sarah:

needle. Absolutely. Sorry.

Mark:

So what's your answer to that question?

Sarah:

Oh, are you ready for my answer?

Mark:

I'm ready. Well, do you want me to go first? Because my answers aren't great.

Sarah:

Yeah. You go first because I'm pretty proud of mine.

Mark:

Okay. Okay. So I have 3, 1 of way long shot, and 1, 2 that are, hey. What's hip right now? We should do that.

Mark:

Okay. So the first one, the long shot I have is the Midsummer Ladies Auxiliary D and D Association.

Sarah:

I thought about D and D too. Which which Barnaby, Joyce or Sarah?

Mark:

Sarah plays our tabletop RPGs, and they decide to dress up or something to do some larping. We're way into this right now. Yeah. And somebody gets killed that way. Or somebody ends up dying the way their characters died in the latest episode of the latest gaming session.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Like, they get a spell cast on them that makes their head explode and then their head actually explodes.

Mark:

Their head actually explodes or something

Sarah:

like that.

Mark:

Then I have 2 these are hip things now amongst the kids.

Sarah:

So artisanal?

Mark:

Sarah Barnaby should should do these. No. They're not artisanal.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

The first one is the Midsummer Speed Puzzling Association.

Sarah:

Putting together jigsaw puzzles?

Mark:

This this is apparently a thing. There's national and international championships, and it is indeed a thing, speed puzzling.

Sarah:

So Okay.

Mark:

And then the last one, the thing that is overtaking all of the Midwest amongst people of a certain age.

Sarah:

Pickleball?

Mark:

Pickleball. For those of you not in the Midwest and don't know what pickleball is

Sarah:

Bless you.

Mark:

Tennis and ping pong mixed for old people.

Sarah:

I don't know. It seems like a lot of younger people are playing pickleball now.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

It's a thing. So Like, I hear apartment complexes and retirement homes advertised as having pickleball courts on-site.

Mark:

It's played on a much smaller court. The ball is more bouncy, and it rarely hits the floor, I think.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

You're you're meant to go racket to racket.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

And it's kind of like badminton without the wow. That's a light thing that you just hit really hard. Like, there's a little

Sarah:

After watching badminton in the Olympics, I have a different view of badminton now, so I don't know.

Mark:

Yeah. Like, the city runs pickleball courts here.

Sarah:

So you think Sarah Barnaby should play pickleball and somebody should die?

Mark:

I think that somebody should die. In all pickle related manners of

Sarah:

the no pickles involved in pickleball.

Mark:

I I know that, but maybe they get so into pickleball.

Sarah:

But if the Brits adopted it, they would certainly involve pickles.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Are you ready for mine?

Mark:

Okay. So hit yours.

Sarah:

Mine's Joyce.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Joyce joins an extreme ironing team. Extreme ironing? It's a thing. Are you ready?

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Extreme ironing is an extreme sport in which people take ironing boards to remote locations and iron items of clothing. According to the extreme ironing board website, extreme ironing is quote the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt.

Mark:

Do you have to wear a helmet to do this?

Sarah:

You have to wear all kinds of gear. Okay. Joyce doesn't actually do the ironing. Joyce is a steamer greaser

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Responsible for making sure everyone's irons have water in them. Yes. For those challenging cotton wrinkles as well as wielding w d 40 to make sure the ironing boards can be set up and collapsed without shrieking like a cost and cleaning lady.

Mark:

Is this now is this sport, like, could we see this in the Olympics? No. No. No. Okay.

Sarah:

In the episode titled unfolding murder you shouldn't drink while I read this. I'm telling you. No. You're gonna spit all over the board. In the episode titled Unfolding Murder, Joyce volunteers to support a cowboy themed extreme ironing team

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Named Howdy Pressing to raise money for a mental health charity. Yes. They're called Howdy Pressing. When the lead Iron climbs a tower a tower of a medieval church to set a record and doesn't come down again, the detectives find him dead at the top with an iron shaped burn on his face. Oh.

Sarah:

George attends the scene and calls the death ironic. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Mark:

That's amazing.

Mark:

That's fantastic and much better than my crazy speed puzzling and pickleball.

Sarah:

I'm very proud of Howdy pressing. Howdy. The cowboy themed extreme ironing team. Okay. The question for next week came from Laurel, a listener.

Mark:

A listener.

Sarah:

And she wanted to know what crossover would you like to see? So a crossover is when characters from one show enter the world of another show. So, for example, Sister Boniface and Endeavor happen at the same time in history.

Mark:

But, wow, that would be wacky.

Sarah:

So Sister Boniface could show up in Oxford Yep. And be a character in an Endeavor episode.

Mark:

She could indeed.

Sarah:

That would be a crossover. Yes. So you're thinking of characters from completely different series entering one another's worlds, and they should be unless there's time travel involved, which is kind of a stretch for most shows we watch. They should be set in the same time period.

Mark:

The but the most juxtaposed, the better.

Sarah:

It's more fun.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Sister Boniface and Endeavor would be like talking cheese, I think.

Mark:

I think so. It

Mark:

would be

Sarah:

Oil and water.

Mark:

Yeah. Yeah. She would she would have no time for

Sarah:

his Seriousness.

Mark:

His seriousness.

Sarah:

And he wouldn't take her serious either. No. But it would be fun to see

Mark:

them together.

Sarah:

Okay. Are you ready for the adventure of the cheap flat?

Mark:

I am indeed ready for the adventure of the cheap flat. Originally aired on the 4th February 1990. I I looked today. The broken wood dates. The first airing of broken wood is 2014.

Mark:

I don't know what we're gonna have to do with cell phones and cars. Automobiles. Directed by Richard Spence and written by Russell Murray. The short story doesn't have the American Agent. Burt.

Mark:

Agent Burt in it, but it's pretty close to it.

Sarah:

So we start out at a movie theater. Is this a Cagney movie they're watching?

Mark:

There it is indeed a Cagney movie entitled g men, g being in quotation marks.

Sarah:

Government men.

Mark:

Yes. That was released in 1935 to, kind of make his image better because he had played so many gangsters.

Sarah:

Does he play a good guy? He plays one of the FBI agents.

Mark:

He plays a guy that gets mentioned in the episode. Do you know when he where he gets mentioned? When Poirot says, Brick Davis. That's the name

Sarah:

the movie.

Mark:

That's the name of his character.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

Brick Davis.

Sarah:

FBI. There's a lot of shooting in this movie, and then it just ends.

Mark:

We do watch the climax of the movie, and it does in fact end just like that.

Sarah:

Like a car runs into a curb. The end.

Mark:

I watched the last 2 minutes of it tonight today, and it's like, and then he pulls out the pulls out the, the machine gun and shoots the guy trying to get away, and that's it. The end. Yeah. It's

Sarah:

Wow. Not my kind of movie.

Mark:

No. But Jap and Hastings are loving it.

Sarah:

Because they're like little boys. Yeah. I'm thinking I'm more like Poirot, though. That kind of loud bang, bang, bang, bang, bang movie just doesn't do it for me.

Mark:

Well, there's no mystery. There's no nuance to it for Poirot to enjoy.

Sarah:

But that, machine gun gunning down a car is is very Bonnie and Clyde, which gets referenced later. But, do you know they were only, like, active as bad guys for, like, 3 months or something? Yeah. It's very short, Bonnie and Clyde.

Mark:

Time, and they had just been well, some would say assassinated by the police.

Sarah:

Did they Swiss cheese them?

Mark:

Yeah. Yeah. That happened in 34.

Sarah:

That's okay. Clyde's mom then took the car on tour Mhmm. And made a bunch of money out of it. Classy.

Mark:

What's amazing to me is when the seventies movie of Bonnie and Clyde came out with Warren Beatty in it, that was like, there were people alive who remember Bonnie and Clyde.

Sarah:

Yeah. Like,

Mark:

that's weird to me.

Sarah:

That is weird. So they're at the movies and hasty and, Jap mentions that there's gonna be an FBI agent coming to London to get some help with a spying case.

Mark:

Yes. Poirot is not overly impressed, but He

Sarah:

doesn't care about any of that.

Mark:

So then we're introduced to 2 people who we've never seen before.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

The Robinsons.

Sarah:

Stella and James Robinson. And we see Who could be drug dealers or white slavers.

Mark:

A young Samantha Bond who could never be a drug dealer or a white slaver.

Sarah:

She's just a femme fatale backstabber She's character in other things.

Mark:

People, including miss Moneypenny in 4 Bond movies.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

So Samantha Bond is in Bond movies.

Sarah:

She's in a lot of things, including Midsummer.

Mark:

She's in a lot of things, including Eric the Viking. I forgot that she was in Eric the Viking. So

Sarah:

Speaking of Eric the Viking, if you have Apple TV and you're not watching Time Bandits, you're wasting your life. Go go watch it.

Mark:

Are you doing? First of all, it captures the essence of the movie. Perfectly. First, Time Bandits is a perfect movie. If you don't think Time Bandits is a perfect movie, you can move on from my podcast.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Don't say that. It's completely different genre. Some people don't like that stuff.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

But it's so funny. It's so clever. It's so good.

Mark:

Super good movie. Anyhow. Came out in the eighties.

Sarah:

This TV series based on it is every bit as good.

Mark:

I'll tell you that Michael Palin. Michael Palin are consultants on this movie.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. It's TV show.

Mark:

Yes. Sorry. TV show.

Sarah:

It's really good.

Mark:

It's on Amazon. Good.

Sarah:

Anyway, we've gone way far afield. Yes. Let's get back to the focus.

Mark:

Back to Samantha.

Sarah:

They're looking for an apartment, and they go, and it's a cheap it's a cheap flat. Right?

Mark:

The mom mom I got apart for this episode is the woman who gets refused at the door. Yeah.

Mark:

She's, like, just eating the scenery up.

Sarah:

Let me guess. Apartment 6. Don't even bother. It's already let. Slam the door in my face.

Mark:

You're so rude to me. That just heard my name and then went away.

Sarah:

There's gotta be a more efficient way to find somebody named Robinson to let your apartment.

Mark:

I would think so. But Samantha Bond shows why she's charismatic here by the the little oh, come on. Let's go anyway.

Sarah:

Maybe maybe they just didn't like her. Yeah. She was kinda brash.

Mark:

Like, that is the most Samantha Bondi moment of

Sarah:

You don't know. You don't know what she's like as a person.

Mark:

But, like, that's the kind

Sarah:

of thing. Character she plays.

Mark:

Character she plays.

Sarah:

The I know I'm beautiful. I can get away with some things. Let's go be adventurous.

Mark:

Yes. And then we go to Hastings friend's party.

Sarah:

Well and they do end up renting the flat. Now they make a big deal out of it that it's only £80 a year Mhmm. Which the old British bank inflation calculator tells us is only $47100 47100 modern pounds a year or around £400 a month now.

Mark:

Which is incredibly dirt.

Sarah:

You can't rent a parking space in London for £400 a month.

Mark:

You could not.

Sarah:

A closet Yeah. Would be £400 a month. Yes. Without a window

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And no access to a bathroom.

Mark:

And certainly not with And

Sarah:

you'd have to share it with somebody.

Mark:

A fancy 2 burner electric fireplace.

Sarah:

And a dustbin stairway.

Mark:

A dustbin stairway.

Sarah:

Teddy Parker, who is Hastings' friend, who's throwing the party, is obviously very wealthy

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And is as dumb as a box of rocks. He and

Mark:

Hastings there was a grizzly grizzly murder there.

Sarah:

He and Hastings are cut from the same plot.

Mark:

The same dude.

Sarah:

I know I invited these 2 to my party. I know I said that they were salt to the earth and that they're wonderful, but I have no idea who they are. I don't know where they came from. I don't know what he does for a living, but but they're good people.

Mark:

Like, what? He also has some weird art in his house.

Sarah:

He has whatever art he's been told is good because that's the kind of person that he is.

Mark:

They they stand in front of this painting. If you guys can identify it, I put in a million search words, and I could not Weird funky painting?

Sarah:

What about it caught

Mark:

your eye

Sarah:

and arm it?

Mark:

Probably Diana and the hunt.

Sarah:

Oh, that thing. Yes.

Mark:

But I don't know. Like, it looks like a piece of art.

Sarah:

It's like an art nouveau version of that. Yeah. So Almost like a cartoon, though, kind of.

Mark:

If you can find it.

Sarah:

It reminded me of the freeze on the ceiling in the hotel in the last episode.

Mark:

It definitely did. It had that vibe. I'm no ghost expert. What if Hastings had a ghost show?

Sarah:

Arthur Hastings ghost hunter?

Mark:

Arthur Hastings ghost hunter is the best spin off show.

Sarah:

Well, miss Lemon would have to be his sidekick. Yes. She'd have to pretend to be a sidekick and hold the seance while he stood there ready to pounce.

Mark:

But I have this weird idea that all the auxiliary characters of of Agatha Christie get together and solve crimes as a crime solving

Sarah:

Like, when they're not on camera, they're off doing other things.

Mark:

Is

Sarah:

that what you're saying?

Mark:

So, like, the lady from the triangle of roads and miss, Hastings and miss Lemon and all these people.

Sarah:

All of miss Marple's maids?

Mark:

Yes. All miss Marple's maids.

Mark:

And I just think that would make a fascinating book. That's

Sarah:

write a letter to Anthony Horowitz and let him know.

Mark:

Oh, okay. I'll do that. He's in my rolodex. Whatever that is.

Sarah:

You mean miss Levin's filing cabinet?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Hastings does give smart explanations. He says either they went to the wrong door, like the lady before them went to the wrong apartment, and, of course, they turned her away, or they didn't like the look of her.

Mark:

And and Hastings is indeed tactful here.

Sarah:

Yes. Because he because he what he wants to say is, obviously, you've been ripped off and you just don't know it yet, and it's probably gonna be horrible. But anyway But

Mark:

he doesn't know these people like his friend.

Sarah:

Doesn't know him either. Yeah. But he doesn't wanna say that, which is insightful and thoughtful Mhmm. Which, you know, that's Hastings.

Mark:

You don't hear Dame much in shows anymore.

Sarah:

No. Unless you're talking about, like, Judi Dench.

Mark:

I guess so.

Sarah:

Dame

Mark:

So let's talk about federal agent Bert.

Sarah:

Could he be more of a stereotype?

Mark:

He is the stereotype.

Sarah:

He's got he's got the constables in the room Yes. With the chalkboard, and he's explaining to them what's gonna happen. And he's so dumb. He doesn't realize they have no concept of American football.

Mark:

None. Right? None at all.

Sarah:

So they're completely lost. He's like, so this dame, she thinks she's heading for the handoff. What she ain't thinking is federal agent Bert is playing for the home team. And with the FBI quarterbacking in Scotland Yard running interference, she ain't gonna make 5 yards, never mind a touchdown. Right?

Sarah:

And they're like, right right?

Mark:

I I think so Bert is a creation of the, the television show.

Sarah:

Well, he may as well be in that movie that they watched at the beginning.

Mark:

And I think they did a great job of picking the right football metaphors that an American would use

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

That that English people would have

Sarah:

no idea

Mark:

what he's talking about.

Sarah:

He says that Poirot is a gumshoe of distinction. Yes. And Al Capone's running for president. Yeah. That's a running theme that Poirot gets dismissed as a PI by outsiders that his what what is was it in the was it in the last episode that his, his office must be above a dry cleaner or something?

Sarah:

Chip shop. Yeah.

Mark:

That's what like, he's, JAP is aware that a lot of private investigators are

Sarah:

Shady.

Mark:

Shady. Yeah. Which is, like, private investigation as a business has a wide range of of clientele and business. Mhmm.

Mark:

And part of that is always gonna be shady because they're investigating people.

Sarah:

Yeah. Privately.

Mark:

Yes. So I don't actually think that private investigators are shady people. They are, by default, employed in finding information

Sarah:

that people don't want them to find. Which immediately sets people off, whether or

Mark:

not they're the nicest human beings ever heard. Yeah.

Sarah:

Yeah. But that's not Poirot. He's not a gum shoe.

Sarah:

If he

Mark:

had Seamus.

Sarah:

If he had gum on his shoe, he would burn his shoes.

Mark:

Oh my god. He oh.

Sarah:

Can you imagine Poirot with chewing gum on his shoe? Oh. Mon Ami. Sacre Bleu.

Mark:

Best kept at chasing lost Tabernacle.

Sarah:

Burn my shoes.

Mark:

She's a Chantousey. Okay. I gotta tell you, folks.

Sarah:

Chantousey.

Mark:

I gotta tell you. Indiana is the capital of mispronouncing French words.

Mark:

Okay? For example, we have such place names as

Mark:

Versailles. Which is Versailles.

Sarah:

And Milan.

Mark:

Milan, which is Milan. Yeah. We got a couple of those. Also, when you come in the house, you come in the foyer. Yeah.

Mark:

It's a foyer. It's a foyer.

Sarah:

No. It's a foyer.

Mark:

It is devastating coming from Canada

Mark:

to hear the mispronunciation of French words.

Sarah:

Is shantoozy an actual French word?

Mark:

Shantooze is a woman singer. Wow. But it has an e on the end, so he says shantoozy.

Sarah:

Shantoozy is also a 19 eighties Australian pop band. Oh, Shantoozy. That had no hits that ever made the American charts.

Mark:

They did not make the Australian invasion like in excess and men at work and

Sarah:

No. They're no Bananarama. I can tell you that. Who were not Australian, I know, but they were a girl band at the same time period.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Shantuzzi was not as successful.

Mark:

So then poor Jap. He stole my office. He stole my man.

Sarah:

He's, like, basically sitting in the storage room.

Mark:

He's in a storage room. Explains the real facts of the case, Du Poirot.

Sarah:

That they're gonna run surveillance at the Italian Embassy because an American woman has stolen American blueprints for a submarine and is gonna sell them to the Italians and the mafia's after. There's no such thing as the mafia.

Mark:

Yeah. Yeah, man. Nothing. They must

Sarah:

thick head. I'm Bert.

Mark:

And, Jack, I love how Jack's like, O'Brien's expecting you in rap in records.

Sarah:

In records. Going down. Yep. Whatever.

Mark:

I got this all fixed up for you.

Sarah:

Because Jap is unfailingly a friend to Poirot and Hastings.

Mark:

Well, he knows how They're a team. How useful Poirot actually is.

Sarah:

And he's not gonna be dazzled by the bright and shiny of an FBI agent and his football euphemisms. No. I am obsessed with the records office.

Mark:

The records office is fantastic.

Sarah:

It's like, it's almost as good as the, forensics lab Yes. That they show in one of the episodes where there's, like, bubbling steam and beakers and stuff. In the records office, there's files to the ceiling and all of these boffins wearing their little their little coats bustling around.

Mark:

I'm like, this entire room and all these people are now replaced by

Mark:

a box on a desk.

Sarah:

Yeah. But I wanna know what does Poirot's file look like. Remember, he has been arrested.

Mark:

Yes. He has been arrested.

Sarah:

He has to have.

Mark:

So he has to have some kind of file.

Sarah:

But among the Robinsons that he

Mark:

was But this is no research dungeon.

Sarah:

No. But among the Robinsons whose file he was able to find are somebody who threw rocks. Like

Mark:

At a train.

Sarah:

You kept a file for that?

Mark:

They came to our school to tell us not to throw rocks at trains.

Sarah:

But they're just giving you ideas at that point then. Exactly. Telling kids not to do something. I just I just think there must be fascinating files in that room. Like, I want an interview with O'Brien, the records boffin.

Mark:

I also wanna see the file on the nightclub owner.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Mark:

Because he's got some stuff. Yeah. Bernie Cole. Bernie Cole. Bernie Cole is one of the best bit characters in Poirot from start to finish.

Sarah:

He's very good.

Mark:

He is fantastic.

Sarah:

I love the pillow on his phone. He doesn't wanna answer the phone.

Mark:

They So they go to the apartment. Yes. And Luigi's outside. He is the worst assassin. Hiding in the shadows.

Sarah:

Assassin, spy, In the middle of the day wearing a black leather trench coat and black leather gloves that go down the the trench coat goes down to his ankles.

Mark:

Like, he should have a sash that says mister assassin 1936.

Sarah:

I am a not an Italian.

Mark:

I'm not an assassin. Wow. Okay. That's a little racist.

Sarah:

I'm not a killer.

Sarah:

I'm a

Mark:

I'm here for my my friend Luigi and Peach's house.

Sarah:

Yes. I'm I'm a

Sarah:

tree holder upper. See how I lean on this tree? I keep it up. That's what I do.

Mark:

So they go in.

Sarah:

I love

Mark:

I love how Hastings when

Sarah:

Hastings wants to come up to the apartment that Poirot has rented, and he says the doorman almost didn't let him up because some creepy foreigner keeps asking about the Robinsons. And he says, it wasn't you, was it? I

Mark:

love how in this scene, though, that Hastings

Mark:

has no idea what's going on. Why they're renting

Mark:

a flat? Who are these people? What is going on?

Sarah:

Plus, based on the the rent that Hastings, he says it's a guinea a week, that would be in today's money, $300 a week. Wow. That's a lot. Actually, it's not. If you think about $1200 a month for rent, that's pretty cheap.

Sarah:

Still.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

It's pretty cheap. For at least a 1 bedroom in the city, that would be dirt cheap.

Mark:

So then they're walking through this park, and it's implied it's outside of the apartment building, but it's not. It can't be.

Sarah:

Well and it's supposed to be on the other side of the street. It's a public park between two blocks Yes.

Mark:

A city. Where they're burning leaves.

Sarah:

Each gardener is burning a pile of leaves because Japs men are there undercover, and there's about a dozen of them working in one park that is less than a city square block. They're not really pulling it off.

Mark:

And this, like, this we'll get back to because those leaves are on fire. Yes. Like, this again is spending lots of money.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's expensive to light something on fire.

Mark:

It's expensive to light something on fire, let alone multiple things on fire. You got lots of actors in costume.

Sarah:

I don't know if they're really on fire. To me, they look like a pile of leaves with a smoke bomb in inside.

Mark:

That may be the case.

Sarah:

Which still, it's still pyrotechnics. It still involves insurance and cost. But the people who are just walking through this park must be like, god, what is going on in here? It's full of smoke. There's dudes everywhere.

Sarah:

The leaves are still on the ground. It's not like they're actually raking anything. This used to be a nice place. It's not anymore.

Mark:

And what they do is they find Jap in the truck in the truck. Get in here.

Sarah:

But then he he hangs out the back and looks both directions. Like, who who is gonna be fooled by that? It's an ironmonger's truck. Okay. Maybe.

Sarah:

May. Maybe. Right?

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

But he opens the door, and he lets them in. And Poirot is is not discreet looking. Okay? Nobody is gonna miss him. And then Jap hangs out the back and looks around.

Mark:

Yeah. It's it's bad.

Sarah:

And Bert's in there. I just think of Bert's fat butt sitting on one side of the truck and the

Mark:

whole truck, like, leaning

Sarah:

that direction.

Mark:

Going up and down.

Sarah:

It's got a little windows.

Mark:

But now it's time for action Poirot. So that evening or some evening soon after, what the plan is is that Poirot's gonna break into the flat of the Robinson's.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Hastings is going to act as a diversion. Right.

Sarah:

Well, he and Poirot's gonna make it

Mark:

door isn't locked. He's gonna make it easy to get into their apartment? Is it implied here why he wants to get in their apartment? Easy? Like, later, we find out it's so that he can stop the assassination attempt.

Sarah:

I think that's what he

Mark:

why he's

Sarah:

doing it.

Mark:

Because he knows Luigi's coming with the water gun. Right? Okay.

Sarah:

No. He's he's there for vengeance for Luigi. Oh, okay. Is clearly Mario.

Mark:

That's this is clearly Mario.

Sarah:

Yeah. Get it straight.

Mark:

Okay. I didn't he didn't have a red hat on.

Sarah:

He knows Mario is gonna try to kill them. Yep. And he wants to stop him, and he's gonna do it by sneaking in the dustbin door.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

So And Hastings is simultaneously great at keeping them busy and horrible at keeping them busy.

Mark:

The discussion of brushes is fantastic.

Sarah:

Well, he's trying to suss out if they've ever been to Italy. Right? Yes. And that's the way he thinks to do it. Yes.

Sarah:

It's just by saying

Mark:

because he still thinks they're bad news.

Mark:

And they

Sarah:

could be. And they have

Mark:

no idea what he's talking about.

Sarah:

Well, because he doesn't even say what he's talking about. They're like so Stella gives him a perfect cover. She's like, I just think it's detective's curiosity and that's why you stopped by. And he could have said, yes, actually. Yeah.

Sarah:

I just I'm just so intrigued by this. Perfect. And he would have kept him busy talking and it would have been no problem. But he's like, no. No.

Sarah:

No. I just happened to be nearby and I thought, The Robinsons. They'll have an answer to this question. Should I use a brush or a comb? And they're like, for what?

Sarah:

He's like, on my walls to do the faux painting. And they're like, what? He's like, surely, you know all about this from your time in Italy. What?

Mark:

We just came down from Cambridge. They're really young students who

Mark:

have lucked into a luxurious lifestyle.

Sarah:

They're married. He's got his first job at the insurance company. They got a great apartment for a short time because I have a feeling after this is over, they're not gonna get to keep it.

Mark:

No. I don't think they will. So makes a mistake here. He drops a tool. Mhmm.

Mark:

Some sort of lockpicking tool.

Sarah:

Now what he does to this door so that it can be opened later would not have worked if in the meantime they put out the dustbin because what he does is he takes the screws out of the the slot that the post slides into. Yeah. Right? And if they had opened it, it would have fallen off.

Mark:

It would have fallen off. And I would suspect that he's a enterprising young man. He could screw in the fix for that.

Sarah:

I think so. He had to put 2 screws back in. Of course, later, they do have a workman put the table back on the wall.

Mark:

Yes. Well, it has pomegranates on it. But Poirot escapes because Hastings goes in and sees what the problem is.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

So let's discuss this stairway. It intrigues me. Yes? It is completely impractical. It is incredibly impractical.

Sarah:

I

Mark:

So to get

Sarah:

pity the fool who has to take their bins out.

Mark:

So to get Poirot's trash to the cold troll, he puts it in the dumbwaiter and goes down to where the cold troll lives. The cold troll pulls it off the dumbwaiter, puts it in the incinerator.

Sarah:

That makes sense.

Mark:

That makes a ton of sense.

Sarah:

I think it's even smarter than a trash chute. Yes.

Mark:

Because Well, you'd hit the troll head troll.

Sarah:

Well, I always think trash chutes are gonna get clogged up, and they're gonna be gross.

Mark:

They I I lived in a building with trash chutes once, and they get clogged up and they're gross. Yeah. It's just the way it is.

Sarah:

Yeah. Stinky.

Mark:

They also slam really loud The the door. At all times of the night.

Sarah:

And you can probably hear trash going down them all the time too.

Mark:

Well, I lived on the 4th floor, so I can really hear much.

Sarah:

The tumbling sound of it going by, though, if you live near it. Yes. But this system is just utterly inefficient.

Mark:

So it's a whole separate staircase.

Sarah:

What poor soul has to trudge up those stairs to each of those bins and take the bags out and then carry them all the way down? Yeah. I mean, the most efficient way would be to go all the way to the top, grab as many as you could, and walk down.

Mark:

But that still makes no sense.

Sarah:

And then take the elevator up again and do it again until they were all empty twice a week.

Mark:

What I would do is when everybody's at work

Sarah:

Kick the bins down the stairs. No. They've got the numbers on them. You'd know where to take them back to.

Sarah:

Take the client, get into

Mark:

the hallway and put them by the elevator. Then go to the top floor with the elevator. Right? Press all the buttons on the way down. Stop and get all

Sarah:

But you'd have to take the bins through people's apartments to get them out to the elevator.

Mark:

No. There's gotta be a a stairway into the hall. The hallway, stairway

Sarah:

At top and bottom. That's it.

Mark:

Well, the if it's a top and bottom, then I go to the top and bring them down.

Sarah:

Kick them down the stairs.

Mark:

Yeah. Yeah. Kicking them down the stairs.

Sarah:

Or down the center.

Mark:

Throw the bags down the center.

Sarah:

I throw the

Sarah:

whole can down the middle. Clinger. Clinger. Clinger. Clinger.

Mark:

What's that sound, dear? I don't know. Luigi.

Sarah:

That's just the trash troll. It's fine.

Mark:

It's just the Italian amb

Mark:

the Italian assassin after it.

Sarah:

The stereotype out in the in the stairway. And while they're in the Ironmonger's truck,

Mark:

plus okay. Never mind the fact that this is an incredibly, easily like, if you have anyone nefarious in your building, they're going through all your stuff.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah. They're in your apartment lickety split. It'd be too easy just to kick a door.

Mark:

Like, it would be so easy to kick that door in and then fix it on the way out. Mhmm.

Sarah:

Well, I don't know. You couldn't fix it on your way out?

Mark:

I don't know. I don't have one of those key things.

Sarah:

Whatever tool barrow has. While they're in the ironmonger truck, Bert says that Romero is gonna go on the lamb. Yes. Spell lamb.

Mark:

L a m b.

Sarah:

It's not. Oh, it's not? It's l a m.

Mark:

The lamb.

Sarah:

I don't know what I thought that meant. Like I know I know it means on the run. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Sarah:

But in my head, it was on the l

Mark:

a m b. Yeah. On the lamb. Said.

Sarah:

Like You're a But I don't know.

Mark:

Lamb that's run off from the rest of the family.

Sarah:

Yeah. Taken off, running away, and you gotta go after him.

Mark:

And, like, lost lamb is a Christian theology mythology

Sarah:

thing. Story goes way, way back. Right? No. It's l a

Mark:

m. Okay.

Sarah:

And it's actually in reference to a Norse word that means to beat people.

Mark:

So you're on a beating spree?

Sarah:

No. Like, in English, it goes back to the 1500. Wow. To lamb means to beat or thrash. So you could lamb a rug Yeah.

Sarah:

Outside. Mhmm.

Mark:

Lambasted. I bet you comes from

Sarah:

It does. It comes from the same word, but then school kids started using lambing as as slang. Okay. So you'd catch 2 kids on the school yard lambing out, which meant they were fighting.

Mark:

Fighting. Okay. Fight. Fight. Fight.

Mark:

Fight.

Sarah:

And you got caught, you ran, and you were on the lamb.

Mark:

You were on the lamb then.

Sarah:

And that's where it comes from.

Mark:

Wow. That's interesting. It is. I would have thought it had something to do with lambs.

Sarah:

I never even questioned that it would have a b on it. And when I saw that it didn't, I'm like, what? Yeah. Where does that come from then? I kinda like it as a verb though.

Sarah:

Lamming somebody.

Mark:

Yeah. Lamming out. Has been on the phone to 14 different nightclubs. Hello. This is Ho Quil Poirot.

Sarah:

Do you have a Shantoozy? A Shantoozy? A Shantooze.

Mark:

The black cat won't answer their phone.

Sarah:

I can understand why he was calling around. Much easier than going there.

Mark:

That makes sense. And And it's makes sense that this is her skill, so that she would return to that job.

Sarah:

I mean, there's not a lot of other things you can do. It doesn't make sense. Right? I mean, she could be giving voice lessons or something.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Cole obviously owes some money to people.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And he's not willing to answer the phone.

Mark:

Bernie Cole.

Sarah:

Now why is

Mark:

He's the king of clubs. Did you get that?

Sarah:

Yeah. Now why his debtors don't come to his office because they clearly know right where he is? Why they call him instead? I don't understand.

Mark:

So asked if Elsa Hart is here after going down the worst hallway of

Sarah:

The sidewalk. There's a street walker outside Yes. Like a sex worker person.

Mark:

This is not a nightclub.

Sarah:

Getting threatened by a pimp and everything. Yep. It is. Do you have to go through that door to get in, you think? I think so.

Sarah:

Is that the door? Like, you have to knock to go in there every time?

Mark:

Sometimes nightclubs are like that in television shows.

Sarah:

I guess.

Mark:

Not in reality.

Sarah:

I mean, even the street, there's, like, trash on the street.

Mark:

So Elsa Hearts does sing here, but not the American Elsa Hart. It's the Canadian Elsa Hart. And this is where Bernie gives us gold.

Sarah:

Like those Dion quintuplets.

Mark:

So how much you know about the the Dion quintuplets?

Sarah:

They were, Canadian quintuplets, and they were very famous.

Mark:

So they're born in 1334.

Sarah:

They were just born.

Mark:

Just born, and it was a huge thing. And the place where they come from in Ontario is tiny. Right? Just this little town. Now the woman who gave birth to them had no she thought she was having twins.

Sarah:

There was no way to know back then.

Mark:

She had no idea that she was having 5 children.

Sarah:

One baby. 2 babies. Oh, wait. Yeah. 3 babies.

Mark:

3 babies, 4 babies, 5 babies. They're all French, and they're all female. Now it's really a sad story since all of them well, first of all, they all survived to adulthood. There's actually 3 of them. 2 of them still alive, which is amazing.

Sarah:

They they're in the nineties. Nineties.

Mark:

But the family was completely overwhelmed. The town was completely overwhelmed. No one was prepared for this at all. The red cross took care of things for the 1st year. They built them a hospital.

Mark:

And Well,

Sarah:

they must have been tiny.

Mark:

They were They

Sarah:

must have been they were pretty sure they were tiny,

Mark:

and they

Sarah:

needed it. Press came.

Mark:

The press came.

Sarah:

Never mind. If even if they had been healthy, 5 babies would have been overwhelming for anybody, but then you got the press. They were preemies. They were poor people to begin with. It's a mess.

Sarah:

You know, I just had 3, and it was crazy, and we we were prepared.

Mark:

And the government stepped in. The Ontario government stepped in in 1935 with the Dionne Quintuplets Guardianship Act and made them wards of the crown until they were 18 and then took a bunch of money from them.

Sarah:

Did they take them away from the family?

Mark:

No. They but they were like, the government then became in charge of their press.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

And all of the profit that could have been made was made by the government at that point in time. It was

Sarah:

Well, it sounds like they were kind of supported by the government too, though.

Mark:

Yes. So but they were incredibly famous. There was definitely like, I know my mother was born a few years before them, but she remembers them even as, like, even as toddlers and young children being, like, here's the Dion Quintuplets first day at kindergarten.

Sarah:

Yeah. Like And then they did ads and then stuff like that.

Mark:

All of those.

Sarah:

So the other thing Cole says, though, is that she's Canadian, and Canada's gonna be a big deal.

Mark:

It's gonna be all the rage soon. So I think he says that because in 35 so this is supposed to be 36, but in 35 was really the first time that Canada had legislation to make it its own country. In the same way that Hawaii and Alaska were really popular in the fifties because they had just joined the states. Mhmm. I think that's what he's implying.

Sarah:

Canada's up and coming.

Mark:

It's up and coming. It's an exciting place to be.

Sarah:

So what are the new things that are gonna be coming from Canada?

Mark:

I don't know. It was a very boring place.

Sarah:

Like, if people wanted to take advantage of the buzz about Canada and the UK, what would they have done? Like

Mark:

made maybe a Canadian

Sarah:

restaurant? Maple syrup

Mark:

or something. That's Hastings is gonna invest in the Canadian restaurant.

Sarah:

It's like he did in the Venezuelan.

Mark:

In the Venezuelan restaurant.

Sarah:

Oh, the, all the fashion this year is all the ladies are dressing like Royal Mounties.

Mark:

Yes. Absolutely.

Sarah:

With red jackets.

Mark:

Poirot is gonna have

Mark:

Hastings is gonna buy Poirot a giant moose head.

Sarah:

A taxidermied moose.

Mark:

In his office.

Sarah:

I I caught this while I was going down to Orinoco.

Mark:

Down to Saint Lawrence. Mhmm.

Sarah:

Miss Lemon gets to go undercover. This is an undercover episode. Yes. Miss Lemon poses as a journalist for the ladies companion.

Mark:

Miss Lemon is fantastic.

Sarah:

Again. She's underappreciated.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Her talents are under tapped. Yes. Because she does a great job.

Mark:

She susses out everything.

Sarah:

Oh, she has Cole's number right away.

Mark:

Yep. And finds out that, like like, when she came in at first, I was like, is she naked?

Sarah:

Is Romero naked?

Mark:

Is Romero naked?

Sarah:

Yeah. Well, and she's with her husband, so it's okay.

Mark:

Yeah. She's

Sarah:

a Shantoozy. What do you expect?

Mark:

Miss Lemon picks out all the problems with what she said with her amazing file system.

Sarah:

Okay. I need to understand this. Alright? Yep. So she sees miss Lemon sees some sheet music in Romero's dressing room, and she knows miss Lemon knows that that's an American song and that it's not available via sheet music outside of the US at that time.

Mark:

Do people not have luggages on planes and boats?

Sarah:

So she knows that Romero has been in the United States or she wouldn't have that music. Okay? But the way she knows it

Mark:

Is she has a card.

Sarah:

Is it's a card in her filing system.

Mark:

Which is fantastic.

Sarah:

I thought until this moment, her filing system was only related to his cases.

Mark:

But, no, apparently, it has other stuff.

Sarah:

So she's just filing away faxes.

Mark:

So what else does she

Sarah:

file? Useful?

Mark:

What else is she filed? Like The names and numbers of all the important doorman across the

Sarah:

Maybe. Which drugstores sell arsenic without making you sign the poison book?

Mark:

Where you can buy weed killer?

Sarah:

I thought you were just gonna say weed. Miss Lemon knows where to you know?

Mark:

You know?

Sarah:

It was all the rage.

Mark:

Yep. The Canadian.

Sarah:

Then then there's more guns. I can't believe Hastings is loading a gun.

Mark:

Hastings is loading a gun.

Mark:

And then Poirot takes it from him.

Sarah:

It's so serious.

Mark:

So Poirot? It's

Sarah:

weird because we watch so many TV shows, so many movies where guns are completely common. You see them all the time. But to see them in this universe

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Especially in the hands of Poirot or Hastings, who were both military Yeah. Both in war.

Mark:

Yeah. They would have Hastings.

Sarah:

Absolutely. Was a policeman.

Mark:

It it's like you forget, you see this all the time with the Jeremy Brett, Sherlock Holmes, where they're like, do you have your gun?

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And you're like, oh, yeah. Sherlock Holmes had guns in it. Yeah. Like, a lot of guns.

Sarah:

It's just it it's, like, scarier because it's Poirot and there's a gun.

Mark:

Yeah. You know? Definitely.

Sarah:

But Hastings clearly knows how to handle it. The way he carries it is very careful. But when Poirot is like, stand it to me, you're like, oh, Poirot's gonna have a gun?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Yeah. And within 20 seconds, Mario has not only his knife, but the gun as well and takes off

Mark:

like a no pro. Well, I think I think in letting us into later on, he lets him have the gun. Mhmm. He knows what it's what's gonna happen.

Sarah:

And Mario is too stupid to see if it's loaded. I mean, it's only, like, an hour later that he tries to use

Mark:

it against them.

Mark:

But Like, you're an assassin. Check your equipment.

Sarah:

He's a bad assassin.

Mark:

He's a bad, bad assassin. I'm a Mario.

Sarah:

Speaking of Hastings in the military, when he's talking to the Robinsons to distract them, he says the only decorating he ever did was creosoting creosoting a trench in France. Yes. Like, he's got a bucket of tarbrushing the sides of a trench in France.

Mark:

Well, you did that so they didn't fall in. I know. But, like, that's

Sarah:

the closest he's ever come to decorating.

Mark:

Speaking of decorating, we must speak of the New York flashback.

Sarah:

Oh, I was kinda blocking that out. When Poirot tells the story of how Romero got the blueprints?

Mark:

Yes. And I have in my notes, wow. Those are some sets.

Sarah:

This is the death of Luigi.

Mark:

So they are doing some sort of abstract theatrical presentation of New York here.

Sarah:

Right? Yeah.

Mark:

It's not real New York.

Sarah:

It's not? And it They fooled me. It's not real outside. With the cars that drive 2 feet and stop again?

Mark:

Yes. I got lost in it because I was like, there's a disco ball in this nightclub.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

When did disco balls first appear? And, actually, they appeared in nightclubs in the twenties in Germany

Sarah:

I can believe that. Paris. Yeah. I bet you the Moulin Rouge had a disco ball.

Mark:

I would assume so. First scene in film in 1927. And a company in Louisville, Kentucky believe that they have the patent for it, but everyone laughs at them because they think they have the patent for it.

Sarah:

What are you gonna do about it?

Mark:

Yeah. Dude.

Sarah:

Take off those disco ball earrings. I own the patent for those.

Mark:

But disco balls, famous in the 19 seventies eighties

Sarah:

And Here's the question, though. Disco as a term

Mark:

Comes from Discotekt, which is That's German. Dance hall, which is German.

Sarah:

Okay. So then disco dancing is a reference to discotheque where the ball was originated. Yep. Okay.

Mark:

I I would say they probably weren't called disco balls to the seventies. They're mirror balls. Yeah. Mirror balls. All of this that Poirot says is complete conjecture.

Sarah:

No. I think it's based on news reports.

Mark:

As much as he can, but there's a little bit, like the seduction and her husband and stuff like that, and they have fun with it. And she pretends to be named Robinson, but she knows the assassin is out to get them. Right?

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

So, therefore, she only wants to rent

Sarah:

to somebody named Robinson. Which is it's dumb. It's dumb. I'm sorry.

Mark:

It is.

Sarah:

They shoulda just left London.

Mark:

Yep. They should've just left London. Poirot's a bit double o seventy in the in the apartment when they're waiting for him to pick the lock. And Mhmm. It and he comes in with the stiletto knife.

Mark:

It's it's Action Poirot. He's we've seen the act Action Hastings, but

Sarah:

not There's also action Poirot in the dressing room when they're confronting Mario, the assassin, and he steps in front of Romero. Yep. And knowing that the assassin has a gun, he would have been surprised if the assassin had reloaded it because he pulls the trigger several times. Jack takes Bert's gun.

Mark:

He does?

Sarah:

And then hands it off to some constable. Here hold this weapon. You thought you could kill a Luigi No. And get away with it. I'm an assassin.

Mark:

So Poirot explains everything. The hat and everything. Luigi busts in. This is a charade.

Sarah:

Shanduzy charade.

Mark:

And Poirot is about to get shot, but he has unloaded the gun and has the bullets in his hands still.

Sarah:

He's so proud of him. No. They were in his pocket. He throws them out. Yeah.

Sarah:

And then Cole, the nightclub owner

Mark:

Who does a weird thing with the pickup?

Sarah:

He does the worst thing in the episode. He picks his teeth with a toothpick, and then he puts it back in the container of toothpicks. He is awful. The assassin should take him out for doing that. That is disgusting.

Mark:

I saw that. I'm like, did he just do that? And and that was clearly not in the script. That is that actor doing a great job.

Sarah:

He is Cole. He is. The king of clubs.

Mark:

Like, you call that dude's house now, and he doesn't answer.

Sarah:

Do you think, like, off the set, he was smarmy? Like, he was method acting.

Mark:

Well and he does that great thing where he switches sides immediately.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah. He's a rat.

Mark:

And everyone's okay with it.

Sarah:

Because they're through he's a rat. They know exactly who he is. Yeah. So they tell the Robinsons that it was just a gang of thieves.

Mark:

Yeah. They lied to the Robinsons.

Sarah:

I understand why. They can't involve them they can't involve them in international espionage.

Mark:

There's no way to run a country without guns. Dude, you have no idea. 1990 was a gun free

Sarah:

Compared

Mark:

paradise compared to the US now.

Sarah:

There are no dead bodies, so we have no best friends.

Mark:

Fixes the pomegranates. Obviously. He doesn't fix them well enough, though. They're not perfect.

Sarah:

They're better than they were.

Mark:

And we should check for fingerprints from this

Mark:

thing. It's again, Hastings and Jap screwing with Poirot.

Sarah:

Yeah. I don't think the Robinsons are gonna be able to stay.

Mark:

No. I don't think so.

Sarah:

Through the end of the lease. No. So maybe by then, they can afford it.

Mark:

Carla goes to jail. Her wife goes to jail. Her husband goes to jail. Mhmm. Mario goes to jail.

Sarah:

Well, Mario might be extradited back to the US. There could be a whole another episode of FBI agent Bert and Mario on the boat.

Mark:

Oh, I wouldn't watch that.

Sarah:

No. No. It would be boring and bad accents would abound. However

Mark:

However. I have a horrible movie for you. Lay it on me.

Sarah:

This movie has William Hootkins in it who plays FBI agent Burt.

Mark:

Now FBI agent Burt, I would say most famously known for his 1977 appearance in a new hope. Star Wars

Sarah:

As Porkins. Porkins. Red 6.

Mark:

Red 6.

Sarah:

He's one of the rebel pilots.

Mark:

Which is just mean.

Sarah:

To call him Porkins

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Because he's always been a bigger guy.

Mark:

Yep. But one of the many

Sarah:

Fat shaming all the way back.

Mark:

Mystery maniacs, a Star Wars crossovers.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Okay. So he's in this movie. It's a 1999 movie.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

It stars Casper Van Dien, Michael York, and Michael Ironside. Oh, wow. Classic nineties

Mark:

actors. Michael York way over the hill thinks he's better looking than he is at that point. Michael Ironside's making a name for himself out of Canada.

Sarah:

Got all of his scars on his face.

Mark:

All the scars on his face. Casper Van Diem coming up.

Sarah:

The tagline for this movie, Revelation foretold it. The end has begun.

Mark:

Oh, I I think I've seen

Sarah:

Would you like to hear the summary?

Mark:

Yes, please.

Sarah:

A rabbi in Jerusalem developed software that can unlock prophecies in the Torah.

Mark:

Oh, yes.

Sarah:

He's murdered and the software is stolen. A powerful man uses it to gain world domination.

Mark:

Yes. What is this? The something code, maybe? The the numbers code, the it was all the rage in the nineties. This this numerology related to

Sarah:

There's the alpha and

Mark:

The beta code. No. The omega code. Yes.

Sarah:

That's it.

Mark:

This is the omega code. I believe I've seen this on videotape, not in the theater. I did not

Sarah:

The software visualizations they do make lines of Hebrew look like twisted DNA. Oh. But they're an ASCII, like, on a green monitor.

Mark:

I think I saw this not on videotape. I don't think I expressed any money to purchase this item. I think I saw this probably as a on a on a TV pay per view pay channel in Canada that would be a movie channel, like HBO.

Sarah:

My favorite review for this that I read on IMDB. I would highly recommend seeing this movie. After viewing it, you will be able to walk out of every other bad movie ever saying, at least it wasn't the Omega Coast. I think I I think we get half credit for that one because I had to give you a hint.

Mark:

Yeah. You had to.

Sarah:

But you clearly seen it.

Mark:

Definitely seen it. And Michael Ironsides, famous over actor, absolutely famous over actor. Casper Diem or

Sarah:

Van Dean.

Mark:

Van Dean, like, just I'm a pretty boy, not an actor.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

I like Michael York. I always have like Michael York.

Sarah:

But he's a very British bad guy actor.

Mark:

British bad guy actor.

Sarah:

Half a point.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Alright. We are off next week Yes. Because it's the beginning of school.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And there's a comic convention here in Bloomington.

Mark:

Here in Bloomington.

Sarah:

But on September 2nd, we will be back with the kidnapped prime minister.

Mark:

Oh, driving around at night.

Sarah:

We've only got 2 more

Mark:

paros to go. And driving and nighttime and prime ministers and shots. And more secret agent. It's very secret agent.

Sarah:

Mi 5 kind of stuff. And we've just got 2 more, and then we'll be moving on to Broken Wood.

Mark:

Yes. So get ready. Yes.

Sarah:

Absolutely. New Zealand pies warming up.

Mark:

We should order some pies.

Sarah:

Yeah. I

Mark:

I wanna make it a big thing

Sarah:

when we switch. Maybe I should make some pies.

Mark:

We you could make some pies, but I could still order. Those pies were really good.

Sarah:

You could post a video of us making pies.

Mark:

Well, we could post a video of us making pies.

Sarah:

Maybe some from body from New Zealand will send us a recipe for a good pie.

Mark:

Yeah. If you have pie recipes, send them to us. If you have responses to the crossover question

Sarah:

We would love to have them.

Mark:

Love to have them.

Sarah:

We'll read them out next week. Yep. Well, actually, the week after.

Mark:

Yes. Yeah. But we will return the 2nd September once all the students are here. Oh my gosh.

Sarah:

The locusts are coming.

Mark:

Yes. We call them locusts.

Sarah:

They're awesome.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Until then, bye, maniacs.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs.

Mark:

Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word. Bye, maniacs.

Sarah:

My

Mark:

What is that?

Sarah:

It's my chair. Don't move that that way. Sorry.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

I'll try not to make that sound.

Mark:

Sorry that

Sarah:

I made it accidentally.

Mark:

Knocking noise.

Sarah:

It's the it's the plastic underneath the cushion of the seat Yeah. In the front. And if I lift my knee, it goes pop up. I'm I have a different chair.

Mark:

Oh, yeah.

Sarah:

Moe has my good chair now.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Sorry. Take all that out.

Mark:

Yep.