Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Welcome to Happening in Henderson, the weekly show where hosts Mark and Joleen serve up Henderson’s news with equal parts insight, cynicism, and sharp-edged humor. From local headlines and community events to crime updates, school district drama, weather forecasts, sports highlights, and brutally honest restaurant reviews, nothing is off limits.
Whether you’re a lifelong local or new to the 890xx life, this is the place to stay informed… without falling asleep.
MARK: Welcome to Happening in Henderson, the only podcast that reminds you on a weekly basis that you're living in a desert oasis built on the hopes of people who thought they'd eventually move to Summerlin. I'm Mark, and I'm currently trying to calculate how much sweat I can lose before I technically become a raisin. It's Monday, June 8th, 2026, and if you haven't noticed, the sun has officially moved from 'mildly annoying' to 'actively hostile'.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, your local ray of cynical sunshine. I'm upbeat today because I've decided to stop fighting the heat and just embrace the fact that my car's leather seats are now a medieval torture device. We've got a massive show for you today, mostly because it's a huge week for the city. Between the primary election tomorrow, the Golden Knights trying to not choke away a lead in the Cup Finals, and our schools apparently deciding they don't need teachers anymore, there's a lot of shit to wade through.
MARK: It's a lot, Joleen. And before we get into the weeds of how our local government is spending our money on things we didn't ask for, a quick reminder that you can yell at us or send us your local tips at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com. We love hearing from you, even if it's just to tell us that my voice sounds like a bag of gravel being shaken by a very tired ghost. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and comment, because if you don't, the algorithm might actually show you something useful, and we can't have that.
JOLEEN: Exactly. Keep us in business so we don't have to go get real jobs, like pretending to be interested in your property values at a local open house. Speaking of which, the primary election is tomorrow, Tuesday, June 9th. Early voting wrapped up on Friday, so if you're like me and you've been ignoring the mountain of flyers in your mailbox, tomorrow's your last chance to pretend your vote for a Henderson Municipal Court judge is the most important decision of your life.
MARK: God, the flyers. I think I've single-handedly destroyed a small forest just by walking to my mailbox this week. Governor Lombardo is facing some primary challengers, and we've got the Henderson mayoral race. It's fascinating, really. We're choosing who gets to preside over the next decade of us complaining about road construction. I'm sure whoever wins will definitely, absolutely, 100 percent fix the I-215 bottleneck by next Thursday. Or not. Probably not.
JOLEEN: Oh, they'll fix it by adding another 'diverging diamond' that makes everyone feel like they're driving in a fever dream. But seriously, the stakes for some of these local races are actually high, especially with the city council decisions lately. Did you see the news from June 1st? Henderson officially put a moratorium on new AI data centers until August 2027. Apparently, even our leaders realized that maybe we shouldn't let giant humming boxes of silicon suck up all our power and water while we're trying to keep our ACs from exploding.
MARK: It's about time. I'm all for the future, but if I have to choose between ChatGPT knowing the lyrics to a nickelback song and my fridge staying cold, the fridge wins every time. They're saying they need time to study the environmental impact, which is code for 'we didn't realize these things were as thirsty as a bachelor party on the Strip'. Meanwhile, the city's also boasting about being a finalist for the 2026 National Gold Medal Award for Excellence in Park and Recreation Management. We're a top-four city in the nation for parks, Joleen. We have the best places to sit and get a second-degree burn from a metal bench.
JOLEEN: Hey, don't knock our parks. Where else am I going to walk my dog at 6 a.m. while we both stare at the horizon and wonder why we don't live in Oregon? But seriously, the parks are great, it's just the 'being outside' part that sucks for three months a year. And speaking of being outside, Henderson held the Juneteenth flag-raising ceremony at City Hall last Monday to kick off the month. There's an ongoing art exhibit called 'Juneteenth in the Present' that's worth checking out if you can handle the walk from the parking garage.
MARK: There's an art reception for that this Thursday, June 11th, from 5 to 7 p.m. It's actually a cool initiative. It's nice to see the city doing something that isn't just approving a new luxury condo development on a plot of dirt that used to be a coyote's bathroom. But we've got to talk about the reality check happening in our schools. The Clark County School District just dropped some news that's about as pleasant as a sandpaper bath. They're doing a 'reduction in force', which is just the corporate way of saying they're laying people off.
JOLEEN: It's so depressing. Superintendent Jhone Ebert announced on Friday that 60 licensed employees--teachers, counselors, social workers--are getting the axe. Apparently, enrollment is down and costs are up, so the solution is to have fewer adults helping the kids who are left. This comes after they already identified over 600 positions that weren't funded. I'm no mathematician, but it's hard to be a 'destination district' when you're effectively telling 60 of your staff to go find a job at a Starbucks.
MARK: Well, the kids can just learn from those AI data centers they just banned. Oh, wait. Honestly, it's a mess. They say it's a $50 million shortfall because parents are realizing that maybe the 402 calls for assault or battery involving staff and students we reported on last week isn't the best learning environment. If the enrollment is dropping, the money follows the kids out the door, and the whole system starts to eat itself. It's like watching a slow-motion car crash, but with more standardized testing.
JOLEEN: Speaking of car crashes, have you looked at the crime blotter this week? Henderson isn't exactly the wild west, but it's getting weird. Last Tuesday night, someone got carjacked right in the parking lot of Cowabunga Bay. I mean, who carjacks someone at a water park? You're literally surrounded by people in swimsuits and flip-flops. It's not exactly the place for a high-speed getaway. The suspect crashed the car while trying to flee the property, because of course they did. Probably slipped on a wet floor sign in their mind.
MARK: The victim had non-life-threatening injuries, but still, that's a hell of a way to end a day of sliding down the Zoomair. And then on Friday, the Metro guys were dealing with a shooting in a southeast valley park and an argument that turned fatal. It's like the heat hits 100 degrees and everyone's fuse just disappears. We also had that motorcycle crash near Red Rock involving a Henderson man on the first of the month. It's been a rough week for anyone trying to travel more than ten miles an hour.
JOLEEN: Well, you can't even go ten miles an hour on Carnegie Street right now. They just started a $5 million rehabilitation project on Friday between Paseo Verde and Green Valley Parkways. They're adding traffic signals and bike lanes, which is great for the three people who bike in June, but it's making that little shortcut to the District a total nightmare. And let's not forget the I-215 construction. They're doing nightly lane closures from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. between Pecos and Stephanie. It's basically a game of 'guess which ramp is closed' every time you try to go home.
MARK: I'm convinced the orange cones are sentient and they're just moving around to fuck with us. I drove through there last night and it felt like I was being funneled into a trap. And then you get home and look at the real estate market, and the news isn't much better. The median home price in Henderson just hit $543,000 for May. We're talking record highs for the valley, but at the same time, houses are sitting on the market for 60 days instead of 40. It's this weird 'Great Housing Reset' where prices are staying high but nobody's actually buying the overpriced beige boxes anymore.
JOLEEN: It's because nobody can afford the mortgage on a half-million-dollar house when the interest rate is higher than my blood pressure during this podcast. The market is 'rebalancing', which is what realtors say when they're terrified. Sellers still think it's 2021 and they can get five offers for a house that smells like damp carpet, but the buyers are finally starting to have a tiny bit of leverage. If you're looking for a luxury home in MacDonald Highlands or Seven Hills, inventory is actually up 22 percent. So, if you have two million dollars lying around, it's your time to shine, you lucky dickhead.
MARK: I'll get right on that. I just need to find about $1.9 million in my couch cushions. But hey, if you can't afford a house, you can at least afford some dumplings. China Mama just opened their eighth location on Friday right on St. Rose Parkway. I saw the line outside and thought there was a celebrity sighting, but no, people just really want those soup dumplings. They chose the number eight because it's lucky in Chinese culture, sounding like the word for wealth. Which is ironic, because after you buy a round of appetizers there, you're slightly less wealthy.
JOLEEN: The food is worth it, though. That place has been a Chinatown staple forever, and Henderson has been begging for one for years. It's fast-casual but the quality is high. I'm just glad there's another option that isn't a national burger chain or a place that charges twenty dollars for a kale salad. Although, let's be real, the wait times for the first month are going to be absolutely fucked. You'll probably be able to finish a graduate degree in the time it takes to get a table on a Saturday night.
MARK: At least you can watch the Golden Knights game while you wait. We're in the thick of it, Joleen! The Stanley Cup Finals are happening right now against the Carolina Hurricanes. We're leading the series 2-1 after that insane double-overtime win in Game 3 on Sunday. Jack Eichel is playing like he's possessed by the spirit of a very angry hockey god, and honestly, the city is buzzing. Game 4 is tomorrow, Tuesday night, right here at T-Mobile Arena.
JOLEEN: It's the only thing keeping this city from descending into a total heat-induced coma. The atmosphere is electric. Even the people who don't know what an icing call is are wearing their silver and gold jerseys. But we've got to stay humble. Carolina is the number one seed in the East for a reason, and they've got that annoying 'never die' attitude. If we win tomorrow, we go back to Raleigh with a chance to clinch it in Game 5 on Thursday. If we lose, well, I'm going to need a lot more than dumplings to feel better.
MARK: We won't lose. The Henderson training facility has been pumping out some good juju lately. And speaking of juju, let's look at the weather forecast for the week. If you were hoping for a break in the heat, I have bad news. Today's high is 100 on the east side of town. Tomorrow for Election Day, we're looking at 103. Wednesday through Friday, it's just more of the same, with highs hovering around 102 and overnight lows in the mid-70s. It's the kind of weather where your steering wheel becomes a branding iron.
JOLEEN: It's miserable. The '100 deadliest days' on the road started with Memorial Day, and the combination of heat and construction is making people drive like total assholes. I saw someone try to pass a school bus on the shoulder on Horizon Ridge yesterday. A school bus! What the fuck is wrong with people? Is getting to the grocery store three minutes faster really worth risking a felony? Apparently, in Henderson, the answer is yes.
MARK: People lose their minds. But hey, if you stay indoors, you can avoid the road rage. This weekend has a few things going on if you're brave enough. The Henderson Farmers Market at Montagna Park is on Thursday evening, though why anyone wants to look at artisanal honey when it's 100 degrees out is beyond me. My advice? Go to the Juneteenth Art Reception on Thursday, get some culture, stay in the AC, and then go home and watch the Knights game.
JOLEEN: Spoken like a true desert dweller. Just a reminder for our listeners, we're coming up on the end of the fiscal year, and the Henderson City Council just adopted the 2026-2027 budget. They're putting money into that $100 million wastewater plant upgrade, which sounds boring as shit until you realize that's how we keep Lake Mead from becoming a giant puddle of despair. It's nice to know that at least some of our tax dollars are going into the 'not dying of thirst' fund.
MARK: It's the little things, Joleen. Like having water that doesn't smell like a swamp. We've covered a lot today. Election tomorrow, layoffs in the schools, carjackings at water parks, and the Knights on the verge of glory. It's just another week in the second-largest city in Nevada. We're better than Vegas, but we're close enough to hear their sirens. That's our unofficial motto, right?
JOLEEN: Pretty much. 'Henderson: At Least We're Not Pahrump'. Anyway, that's our show for this Monday. Make sure you get out and vote tomorrow, unless you're planning on complaining about the results for the next two years, in which case, you're required to go. Send us your stories, your restaurant rants, and your pictures of poorly parked cars to henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com. We want it all.
MARK: Be safe out there. Watch out for the construction on Carnegie, and for the love of god, drink some water. If you see someone driving like a dickhead, just assume they're late for their soup dumplings and give them space. We'll be back next week to break down the election results and, hopefully, celebrate a Stanley Cup parade. Until then, stay cool, Henderson. Or at least try not to melt.
JOLEEN: Peace out, you beautiful, sun-scorched bastards. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button. It's the only thing that gives Mark's life meaning anymore. See you next week!