Promise Progress and Deliver - how to keep promises to yourself & transform your life

Episode 27, Jessies World podcast - Promise Progress and Deliver!

Hosted by Jessica Vibez

Welcome

Intro (Jingle “do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, welcome to Jessie’s World, you’ll feel alright. By Jessica Lambert / Jessica Tha Goddess) 

Thanks so much for tuning into episode 27 of Jessie’s World Podcast – where we are dedicated to helping people connect with, nurture, and grow their inner gifts; achieve self-empowerment, and enjoy a life of love, light, and authentic abundance. We inspire leadership and encourage legacy building that improves human lives and our world. 

If you are upwardly mobile, a go getter, and committed to improving yourself and your life this is the podcast for you. I am your host Jessica Vibez with a Z, bringing you weekly episodes every Sunday to help accelerate your personal and professional development journey. Be sure to follow me on IG @jessicavibez and follow our show @JessiesWorldXO

Quote

“The key to growth is to learn to make promises, and then – to keep them!” Stephen Convoy

 

Topic Introduction

Today’s topic is about the promises we make, and do not make, to ourselves. 

Why promises are important. 

Why we do not make them.

And if we do make them – why we do not keep them, and what impact that has on us.

Then we are going to work to develop the muscle of making, and keeping, promises to ourselves in our personal and professional lives. As we do this more and more we will develop excellent success habits and even improve our ability to confidently make commitments to others and fulfill those commitments, deepening our relationships and improving our overall quality of life. 

Are you ready for another epic transformative process – let’s get into it!

(Possible Tessy Time – ON TOPIC) 

But First

That’s right folks, this is one of those coveted episodes where we will be having Tessy Time … you’re nah ready fi dis yet famz.

Okay – today’s Tessy Topic – misinformation!!!

I said it.

Yes long before we had the term ‘fake news’ floating around, we had old adages, self-defeating quotes, limiting beliefs, and general mind poison – AND NO ONE CALLED IT OUT.

Well famz, today I am calling it out.

This saying “a promise is a comfort to a fool” is often mistaken as do not trust anyone or their promises ever and that is just too sinical an outlook for me to accept. While humans by nature are flawed, and therefore will not, even if entirely good intentioned, be able to fulfill every promise they ever make, the view that then no one should ever make or accept a promise lowers our bar and expectations as humans of other humans, and sometimes of ourselves, to an unacceptably low level.

Growing up I would hear adults around me say, in response to a request, “I will try, but I am not promising anything.” By nature of the fact that we as humans are flawed, so a reasonable flexibility for human error is assumed with every healthy promise giver and receiver, then there is no need for skeptical half hearted agreements. By the very nature of saying I am not promising you are saying you may not try so then why even start the sentence with ‘I will try’ because essentially you may not… and that is why you won’t promise.

No one likes breaking promises, but to live in a society where no one trusts their own word enough to promise and commit to others, means that we are also living in a world where people are struggling to promise, and commit to themselves…and THAT is very scary.

We need to TRY for ourselves, and quiet frankly, for those we love, and for the things that we are passionate about and care about in our lives.

A life void of trying is a life void of a passion – the same fiery pursuit of passion that lead to inventions we enjoy, social and civil changes that improved humanity, and every great milestone ever achieve in human history …and some not so great ones too.

Without that burning desire to win, to deliver, to make change, to experience life, to love and be loved, give and be given to, to be the change, to leave a legacy, to rise, to win… without that, we have a bland life of lack luster maybes and that is just NOT good enough.

So – we are re-introducing the PROMISE here and now.

“PROMISE – a declaration, or assurance, that one will do a particular thing, or that a particular thing will happen.”

And we are going to start with perfecting the process of making, and keeping, promises to OURSELVES!

 

Personal Development Take

According to a Harvard University stress management study, top leaders who experience success others want to emulate prioritize keeping promises to themselves, and others.

Contrary to the best selling book Leaders Eat Last which suggests that good leaders will put aside their own needs and go without to sacrifice the building of entities and opportunities that help and feed others – this Harvard Study highlighted that in fact the same people who choose to eat last also end up burning out and not being able to enjoy their high ranking success when achieved. 

So, promises are not the surface things we think of – willy nilly making here and there in life in business to ourselves to others if the whim arise; but in fact, promises should be thought of as strategic decisions in the over-arching architecture of crafting a well balanced and fulfilling life. 

And, in fact, while many of us are empaths and people pleasers, the truth is it al begins with the promises we make to ourselves, and our commitment to keeping those promises. 

Why we don’t make promises to ourselves.

As mentioned earlier, we often do not make the promises to ourselves that will hold us accountable to becoming our best-selves, but why?

Some reasons include:

·       You are still putting others before yourself – even after all the work we have been doing in Jessie’s World to build your confidence and help you love you better, you are still showing up last in your life for you, and that is not okay. We need to move you to the top of your own to-do list so you can connect with you, listen to you, understand you, show empathy to yourself, and set yourself on a path of true, deep, meaningful winning

·       You are immersed in work – if you are so ‘swamped’ at work that you can not come up for air and take time to attend to your own personal needs and self-care then you are either suffering from poor habits, bad planning, people pleasing at work, or you are hiding from the concerns you know you need to address with yourself. In any event – this will lead to burnout at some point, and will likely have some serious consequences physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and more. 

·       Inertia – your body’s desire to keep everything the same. So in fact, if the unbalance in your life is uncomfortable, you may have decided it is still more comfortable than change. Your cells may be doing everything to convince you change is not worth it, good thing I am here to convince you otherwise – CHANGE IS WORTH IT… YOU DESERVE THE BEST and you get the best through change

·       Procrastination – Inertia’s best friend – you tell yourself that “you will do it later’ and we all know, later never comes – start NOW

·       Fear of Judgement from Others – I feel this all the time, so I totally understand, when you make a new promise to yourself it will likely mean changing other areas of your life and people may not like that, and to that I say SO WHAT. The same thing people will not like when you initiate it – because people have Inertia in how they view and expect to experience others, it’s only natural they try to ‘keep you in your place’ but when they see you defy not only your own inertia but theirs as well, they will stop hating and start congratulating watch and see. Also the same people who would judge you for putting you first, probably do not put you first either – someone has to put you first and it starts with YOU!

So, now that we know WHY we have been holding off on making some very important promises to ourselves, time to dip our toe in the pool of improved futures, and visit some of the promises that have been waiting to be made.

First, consider …

What promise have you been needing to make yourself so that you can further your personal goals and build a more balanced relationship with you?

Or what promises have you made, that you consistently have broken to yourself?
 
 

The challenge with making a promise to yourself, and then breaking it – is that you are teaching yourself that you CAN NOT trust you, and that is a terrible thing to do to yourself.

So, if you have routinely fell short of your own expectations and promises, you will likely move to NOT MAKING PROMISES to YOURSELF, either pushing down those nagging feelings of wanting change and procrastinating – substituting the real promise for a promise of LATER

OR worse, you have stopped making any promises at all to yourself. This means you are living a life without the joy of being excited for the future, because you have resigned yourself to a life without goals and promises, a life that is just more of the same, a cow grazing in the field day after day – more of the same.

The only thing worse than letting yourself down, is not even making a promise to yourself to begin with – trust me you are worth the risk and effort.

Where to begin:

Start small. If you begin with one small promise to yourself, and you keep that promise, you will incrementally see your life improve, you will strengthen your trust and belief in yourself – and will start to repair any damage done when breaking promises to yourself in the past. Your new belief in your ability to commit to you and honor yourself will embolden you to make another promise, and keep that one. It is through this series of small promises that you keep that you will develop a life you love and a world you crafted with love for yourself and with intention that becomes the habitual architecture of a healthy, happy, fulfilling life.

So, what promise will you begin with.

For me – I make small promises too. I have a goal to get in shape, and to restore my health to total wellness – so to do this I begin my day with a healthy breakfast and a quality morning routine. I protect my mornings. 

I have been doing this for sometime, and have now added – wake a bit earlier so I have more hours in the day to work towards my goal. It also comes with a  promise to go to bed earlier, which I am still working on. 

It’s okay to be working on your promise to self, that is the dash in life that makes it worth living – the strive, the hustle, the reason to wake up and shake up every day. It’s a fun challenge to know that you have commitments to keep to you that will, when mastered, improve your life.

In fact, when I have a bad day, I always have the comfort of a better day ahead because I know I am committed to life long learning and evolving and that means I will never be where I am again, because I will grow, every day, deliberately – and that feeling is very empowering. This feeling comes from promising myself that I will pour into me, protect me, love me, and make time for me, put me first. And while not all my goals have been accomplished, I am well on my way.

So, what one small goal will you begin with? Do you want to add deep breathing to your morning? Do you want to write and set your intentions before anyone else wakes up when you start your day? I do this because it helps me keep structure and maintain my commitment to me even when others have other plans for my day. 

I always remember the saying “if you don’t have plans for you, someone else will.” I do not want to be the sum result of blowing in the wind around other’s plans for me. Intention is by nature the promises we give ourselves.

Write down, or tell yourself one small change you will make that will start to put yourself on track to achieve something that is important to you. One small change. If it is losing weight, then maybe it’s taking out added sugar (which I personally know is easier said than done – but each day you do it, you are giving your body a beautiful gift with a big bright bow, how lovely.)

This goal should be personal to you – think mind, body, soul, lifestyle…

We will discuss professional goals later in this podcast. But first we want to be introspective and consider what small change can you make to improve your life a little…. Let’s start there!

Some changes I have made as I have been working on me include:

·       Protecting my mornings and enjoying a me-centered morning routine

·       Set my intentions in the morning before speaking with anyone else, so that I am the builder of my day and not the responder to other people’s days

·       Enrolling in one course program at a time to continuously be developing the skills I need to make my goals come true

·       Producing a podcast a week that helps others, and myself, become our best selves – that’s this podcast, Jessies World, and for me it has been an incredibly transformative process, I hope it has been for you as well, and continues to be

·       Walk every day – if I am super busy that day or not feeling so great I do a small walk, on good days I do a long walk, if I can I do two walks, but I more often then not keep my commitment to walk every day and I always feel great when I do

·       Have a night routine – so that at bedtime I am rested

·       Pour into myself before bed – I know that having the type of childhood and challenges I have in my life have come with many negative messages and they can still replay in the present by way of self-doubt, insecurities, the perfection trap, being negative, and being fearful – to combat this reality and consequence of things that really were not my fault and not my shit – I intentionally fill myself with positive thoughts, good messages, powerful practices and learnings that seep into my subconscious when in rem and reinforce my wanting the best for me. I wake up lighter, happier, and focused on the good – and creating more of it. That is the power of small changes, they stack up and eventually build a beautiful life all your own. 

Take the first step towards designing your perfect world…make that first promise.

 

 

Boss Life View

Now that we have articulated the fist promise you have made yourself for personal development, it’s time to take stalk in your professional life.

Considering the ancient Japanese philosophy of Ikigai (ee-kee-guy) means reason for being or having a direction or purpose in life.

When considering our professional lives, Ikigai is a great model to help us assess if we are truly fulfilled, or if we have work to do so that we can align our life’s work with our true authentic self and purpose or calling – and while I only recently discovered Ikigai, it really does embody the essence of what Jessie’s World is meant to be – a place where you can come every day and work on becoming your best self, and where you are supported by others in doing so. 

Even if you feel that you are entirely fulfilled and are living out your calling – and that is amazing because most people have not achieved this – you still will have goals to help you perfect that even more. We as humans have the opportunity to evolve every day, if only we set the intention. 

Now, if you have not yet aligned yourself with your work that is okay, it really is never too late. 

Just like changes in our personal health, well being, and make up – changes in our career and work, are worth making, and should be done with intention, one step at a time.

When you consider that 1/3 of your day at least is dedicate to work, you can start to understand WHY a fulfilling career is essential to overall happiness in life, after all another 1/3 of your life is sleeping, and you don’t want to have only 1/3 fulfillment in life – and that would be if you entirely mastered the other 1/3 which is personal development but the chances are that you have more mastering to do there as well. So, one of the quickest ways to improve your happiness is to make that ONE SMALL STEP towards the life you desire from within. 

For me, after years of being a hands-on, in office consultant, I decided that I wanted to help more people, and experience less burn-out. I knew I loved the field of self-help because I had been studying it intently since I was 14 years old, and it was very instrumental in helping me way through and come to terms with a lot of the challenges I faced earlier in life. 

While I knew I had a lot of experience gained along my community development and business consulting journey, as well as from my personal improvements I made… I had to first shed this idea that I needed to be perfect in order to speak about the process of perfecting ourselves, because it is not PERFECT that we seek, but progress. And when it comes to progress I can confidently say I am an expert.

I remember someone I looked up to telling me until I ‘made it’ I could not teach others how to make it. Their jump off point in life was much different than mine, and as such they did not place a value on what I had ‘made it’ through. The truth was, I had made it through a lot, and I had a very valid story to tell and lessons to share. Unfortunately at the time I did not see that, and I had not done the work on myself that I had now – so instead of being able to think critically and say ‘that’s your perception, not mine’ I know my worth and value, I know the hell fire I have lived through and thrived – I know I have LOADS to offer… instead of that … I shrank and was hurt, and sad, and discouraged – the opposite of empowered.

It so hurt me deeply at the time that I believed that I was not, in my current state, worthy to live my God intended purpose. I could feel my calling nagging me – I knew I had to do it. I had plans for effecting change in others, and myself. Plans to improve communities, to uplift people, to help people win…. but like paper under a weight – they were held down with this notion that I first had to look like the pillar of perfection before anyone would care what I had to say.

That person’s advice was wrong! The only thing I really learned was I needed to do the work to be able to recognize the limitations in peoples perceptions have everything to do with them, and absolutely nothing to do with me – I set my path, not anyone else. You set your path, not anyone else, remember that.

And though that very incorrect advice internalized gave me imposter syndrome every time I tried to take flight, I eventually lived to see that same person take on tones of new first time challenges that they were not were not yet perfect at – but instead they were perfecting themselves along the way.

People will impose limits on you they will never put on themselves – do not allow this! Stand strong in your vision for you and your life. You are more than worthy!

My realization that others are also held down by the weight of self-imposed expectation, and that this was so prevalent, as in so many others also experience this, that there is a mainstream term for it “the perfection trap” I realized that I had to move forward, confident or not, in manifesting the dream that had been in my heart for so many years…as many years as I could remember really – and that dream was to help others find their gifts, become their best selves, and live their best lives. I do this for all, and I specialize in doing this in the music industry and I absolutely LOVE it. I feel fulfilled and overjoyed the more promises I make to myself, and keep, that lead me towards full-time fulfilling my destiny and creating a lasting, life-improving, world-improving legacy, that give me energy, that gives me joy.

The beauty is, that it is the cracks of my life, all the imperfections that at first held me back, eventually highlighted, illuminated this calling. If I was not abandoned as a child, and if my mother did not go to AA and remain in recovery and share books from Melody Beattie and other self help authors I would not have become obsessed with helping myself heal, I would not have done my college placement at the Self Help Resource Centre and learned even more about the self-improvement lifestyle and business. If I was not broken and then so beautifully put back together again, I may not have become an empath…but through the cracks my beauty shines, and my calling was born…. 

So I took one small step…and started by producing this podcast.

What one small step can you take to begin the manifestation of your dream work? 

Maybe I will do a deep dive into Ikigai and how to build a fulfilling life – maybe I will do it as a workshop. DM me and let me know if that’s something you would like @JessicaVibez but in the meantime…. Let us being with one goal, one promise to yourself that will put you on the path to realizing your professional dream… here are a few steps I have now made:

·       Enrolled in Digital Marketing Certificate Program to learn skills to help connect with my audiences better and to re-fresh my corporate communications university education

·       Produce this podcast regularly – with a commitment to release weekly episodes

·       Start to build the website that will engage my Jessie’s World community in a deeper and more consistent way

·       Created strategic guidelines that help add structure to how I operate Jessie’s World and Platinum Indie (my supportive suite of services and resources for indie recording artists and professionals) 

·       Outlined my first self-help book that I am now in the process of writing

These steps may seem big, but they all started small. As I learned to trust myself I slowly added. I also learned that some goals are on-going, and so the trust and flexibility needs to be ongoing too. For example I had a sore throat on the weekend so I recorded this episode late but I recorded it and now you are listening to it… progress not perfection. 

I, am an expert, in progress – NOT perfection, and I love that.

What small goal will you commit to that you will do regularly to move the dial forward on achieving your professional dreams? 

I can’t wait to see your small step become a giant leap one day – you’ve got this.

Quick Note on Power of Consistency

Now that you have made a personal promise to yourself and a professional promise to yourself, your commitment needs to be that you will work towards this promise regularly.

Consider how you can turn this new step into a habit.

For example if the new promise is drink more water, the way to create a habit may be keeping a Britta by your desk in the day and drinking throughout the day. This could have tremendous health benefits and the small step is easy to maintain day after day until it becomes a habit and then you will be ready to add another promise because you have proven you keep your promises to you – and that is powerful.

 

Gods N Goddesses – Meditate on Topic Success with Breathing and Affirmations

Before we wrap up, let us remember we are all Gods and Goddesses, and let us take a moment to center and connect with self.

Let’s do a bit of breathing, deep into the belly.

In through the nose, out through kissing lips.

And as you continue to breathe

I want you to repeat this affirmation either out loud or in your head whatever works for you

“I keep my promises to myself. I can trust myself to keep promises. My promises are small and manageable. I know that every time I keep my promise I bring myself closer to my ideal vision of self for me. I am the writer of my own story, and the architect of my life. I am not defined by my past, and the future is mine to shape and decide. My life is carefully and intentionally crafted one small fulfilled promise at a time, and I am building the life of my dreams. My promises are routed in authenticity, self-love, and my God given calling. I want what is best for me, and I am prepared to take actionable steps to make my dreams a reality. I am committed to me. I keep my promises to me. I trust myself. I love myself. I’ve got this!”

 

Call to Action

Today, if you have not done so already, right after this episode, write down one promise to yourself that will improve you personally, and one that will improve you professionally. Write these promises to yourself, and the small step you will do daily to keep each promise to you. Then start TODAY fulfilling your commitment to you. 

Promise (What outcome will be achieved when answering call to action)

When you keep your promises small and manageable, when you state your promises to yourself, and when you fulfill those promises you are strengthening your promise muscle and building your belief in you. Pretty soon you will see how far you will have come and you will begin making, and keeping, bigger bolder promises to yourself. You are well on your way to success my friend, I am so happy for you, you’ve got this!

Thank You, Gratitude (and shout-outs)

Today, I am so grateful to have had the time and opportunity to sit and think about my commitment to myself, my life, my purpose, my calling. I am so overjoyed to have an opportunity to enjoy a new day where I am not just surviving but where I am putting in practical steps that will make me thrive. I am so pleased to be a part of a community that supports my growth and development, and that regularly reminds me to continue working towards becoming my best version of myself. I know that as long as I continue to come back and working on my, I will continue to design and enjoy experiencing my best life.

Outro & Follow / Like / Subscribe 

Thanks so much for listening to Jessie’s World podcast, where we are dedicated to helping you become your best self, and live your best life. 

Please like, follow, share, subscribe and check us out on Instagram @JessiesWorldXO – you can also follow me, your host @JessicaVibez

Check us out next week for another great episode that promises to help further you along your transformation journey to personal enlightenment, and success. 

One Love!

 

 

 

 

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

What is Jessie's World?

Welcome to Jessie's World - a weekly variety show that takes us through Jessie's Wheel of Life including Community, Fun, Health & Wellness, Entrepreneurship, Relationships, and Personal Development. Each segment brings a different flavor, making it interesting and engaging. The host Jessica Lambert aka @jessicavibez keeps it conversational and weaves humor though light and heavier topics. Special guests come from all walks of life and may surprise you. The ultimate goal of the show is to entertain, inspire, uplift, and assist us all (host included) in becoming our best selves. You get new, entertainment, wellness, and inspiration all in one great show.

Segments Include:
Tessy Time (Community) - real talks about current societal issues.
Mrs. Write (Fun) - a freestyle on-air comical writing segment where computer generated prompts are turned into master poems, songs, and short stories right on the spot.
Big Boss Vibez (Career Health) - let's talk all things entrepreneurship and bring our businesses to new heights
Today's Topic (and sometimes - Guest) - This segment covers a variety of topics that are aimed at peeking curiosity, inspiring, motivating, supporting, and most of all assisting listeners in becoming their best selves.
Gods N Goddesses (Health and Wellness) - travel inwards to center yourself. Let's focus on the personal care and wellness items that will help ensure you maximize your quality of life. A peer learning and sharing segment we grow together.
Love, Fam, N Family (Relationships) - let's share stories of human impact and the importance of leading with love.
Quote of the day.
Affirmation
Outro.

Listener interaction is encouraged. If you have show suggestions or would like to be a guest on our show you can send your request on Instagram @jessicavibez or @jessiesworldxo you may also visit www.platinumrouge.com/jessies-world

Episode 27, Jessies World podcast - Promise Progress and Deliver!
Hosted by Jessica Vibez
Welcome
Intro (Jingle “do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, welcome to Jessie’s World, you’ll feel alright. By Jessica Lambert / Jessica Tha Goddess)
Thanks so much for tuning into episode 27 of Jessie’s World Podcast – where we are dedicated to helping people connect with, nurture, and grow their inner gifts; achieve self-empowerment, and enjoy a life of love, light, and authentic abundance. We inspire leadership and encourage legacy building that improves human lives and our world.
If you are upwardly mobile, a go getter, and committed to improving yourself and your life this is the podcast for you. I am your host Jessica Vibez with a Z, bringing you weekly episodes every Sunday to help accelerate your personal and professional development journey. Be sure to follow me on IG @jessicavibez and follow our show @JessiesWorldXO
Quote
“The key to growth is to learn to make promises, and then – to keep them!” Stephen Convoy

Topic Introduction
Today’s topic is about the promises we make, and do not make, to ourselves.
Why promises are important.
Why we do not make them.
And if we do make them – why we do not keep them, and what impact that has on us.
Then we are going to work to develop the muscle of making, and keeping, promises to ourselves in our personal and professional lives. As we do this more and more we will develop excellent success habits and even improve our ability to confidently make commitments to others and fulfill those commitments, deepening our relationships and improving our overall quality of life.
Are you ready for another epic transformative process – let’s get into it!
(Possible Tessy Time – ON TOPIC)
But First
That’s right folks, this is one of those coveted episodes where we will be having Tessy Time … you’re nah ready fi dis yet famz.
Okay – today’s Tessy Topic – misinformation!!!
I said it.
Yes long before we had the term ‘fake news’ floating around, we had old adages, self-defeating quotes, limiting beliefs, and general mind poison – AND NO ONE CALLED IT OUT.
Well famz, today I am calling it out.
This saying “a promise is a comfort to a fool” is often mistaken as do not trust anyone or their promises ever and that is just too sinical an outlook for me to accept. While humans by nature are flawed, and therefore will not, even if entirely good intentioned, be able to fulfill every promise they ever make, the view that then no one should ever make or accept a promise lowers our bar and expectations as humans of other humans, and sometimes of ourselves, to an unacceptably low level.
Growing up I would hear adults around me say, in response to a request, “I will try, but I am not promising anything.” By nature of the fact that we as humans are flawed, so a reasonable flexibility for human error is assumed with every healthy promise giver and receiver, then there is no need for skeptical half hearted agreements. By the very nature of saying I am not promising you are saying you may not try so then why even start the sentence with ‘I will try’ because essentially you may not… and that is why you won’t promise.
No one likes breaking promises, but to live in a society where no one trusts their own word enough to promise and commit to others, means that we are also living in a world where people are struggling to promise, and commit to themselves…and THAT is very scary.
We need to TRY for ourselves, and quiet frankly, for those we love, and for the things that we are passionate about and care about in our lives.
A life void of trying is a life void of a passion – the same fiery pursuit of passion that lead to inventions we enjoy, social and civil changes that improved humanity, and every great milestone ever achieve in human history …and some not so great ones too.
Without that burning desire to win, to deliver, to make change, to experience life, to love and be loved, give and be given to, to be the change, to leave a legacy, to rise, to win… without that, we have a bland life of lack luster maybes and that is just NOT good enough.
So – we are re-introducing the PROMISE here and now.
“PROMISE – a declaration, or assurance, that one will do a particular thing, or that a particular thing will happen.”
And we are going to start with perfecting the process of making, and keeping, promises to OURSELVES!

Personal Development Take
According to a Harvard University stress management study, top leaders who experience success others want to emulate prioritize keeping promises to themselves, and others.
Contrary to the best selling book Leaders Eat Last which suggests that good leaders will put aside their own needs and go without to sacrifice the building of entities and opportunities that help and feed others – this Harvard Study highlighted that in fact the same people who choose to eat last also end up burning out and not being able to enjoy their high ranking success when achieved.
So, promises are not the surface things we think of – willy nilly making here and there in life in business to ourselves to others if the whim arise; but in fact, promises should be thought of as strategic decisions in the over-arching architecture of crafting a well balanced and fulfilling life.
And, in fact, while many of us are empaths and people pleasers, the truth is it al begins with the promises we make to ourselves, and our commitment to keeping those promises.
Why we don’t make promises to ourselves.
As mentioned earlier, we often do not make the promises to ourselves that will hold us accountable to becoming our best-selves, but why?
Some reasons include:
• You are still putting others before yourself – even after all the work we have been doing in Jessie’s World to build your confidence and help you love you better, you are still showing up last in your life for you, and that is not okay. We need to move you to the top of your own to-do list so you can connect with you, listen to you, understand you, show empathy to yourself, and set yourself on a path of true, deep, meaningful winning
• You are immersed in work – if you are so ‘swamped’ at work that you can not come up for air and take time to attend to your own personal needs and self-care then you are either suffering from poor habits, bad planning, people pleasing at work, or you are hiding from the concerns you know you need to address with yourself. In any event – this will lead to burnout at some point, and will likely have some serious consequences physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and more.
• Inertia – your body’s desire to keep everything the same. So in fact, if the unbalance in your life is uncomfortable, you may have decided it is still more comfortable than change. Your cells may be doing everything to convince you change is not worth it, good thing I am here to convince you otherwise – CHANGE IS WORTH IT… YOU DESERVE THE BEST and you get the best through change
• Procrastination – Inertia’s best friend – you tell yourself that “you will do it later’ and we all know, later never comes – start NOW
• Fear of Judgement from Others – I feel this all the time, so I totally understand, when you make a new promise to yourself it will likely mean changing other areas of your life and people may not like that, and to that I say SO WHAT. The same thing people will not like when you initiate it – because people have Inertia in how they view and expect to experience others, it’s only natural they try to ‘keep you in your place’ but when they see you defy not only your own inertia but theirs as well, they will stop hating and start congratulating watch and see. Also the same people who would judge you for putting you first, probably do not put you first either – someone has to put you first and it starts with YOU!
So, now that we know WHY we have been holding off on making some very important promises to ourselves, time to dip our toe in the pool of improved futures, and visit some of the promises that have been waiting to be made.
First, consider …
What promise have you been needing to make yourself so that you can further your personal goals and build a more balanced relationship with you?
Or what promises have you made, that you consistently have broken to yourself?

The challenge with making a promise to yourself, and then breaking it – is that you are teaching yourself that you CAN NOT trust you, and that is a terrible thing to do to yourself.
So, if you have routinely fell short of your own expectations and promises, you will likely move to NOT MAKING PROMISES to YOURSELF, either pushing down those nagging feelings of wanting change and procrastinating – substituting the real promise for a promise of LATER
OR worse, you have stopped making any promises at all to yourself. This means you are living a life without the joy of being excited for the future, because you have resigned yourself to a life without goals and promises, a life that is just more of the same, a cow grazing in the field day after day – more of the same.
The only thing worse than letting yourself down, is not even making a promise to yourself to begin with – trust me you are worth the risk and effort.
Where to begin:
Start small. If you begin with one small promise to yourself, and you keep that promise, you will incrementally see your life improve, you will strengthen your trust and belief in yourself – and will start to repair any damage done when breaking promises to yourself in the past. Your new belief in your ability to commit to you and honor yourself will embolden you to make another promise, and keep that one. It is through this series of small promises that you keep that you will develop a life you love and a world you crafted with love for yourself and with intention that becomes the habitual architecture of a healthy, happy, fulfilling life.
So, what promise will you begin with.
For me – I make small promises too. I have a goal to get in shape, and to restore my health to total wellness – so to do this I begin my day with a healthy breakfast and a quality morning routine. I protect my mornings.
I have been doing this for sometime, and have now added – wake a bit earlier so I have more hours in the day to work towards my goal. It also comes with a promise to go to bed earlier, which I am still working on.
It’s okay to be working on your promise to self, that is the dash in life that makes it worth living – the strive, the hustle, the reason to wake up and shake up every day. It’s a fun challenge to know that you have commitments to keep to you that will, when mastered, improve your life.
In fact, when I have a bad day, I always have the comfort of a better day ahead because I know I am committed to life long learning and evolving and that means I will never be where I am again, because I will grow, every day, deliberately – and that feeling is very empowering. This feeling comes from promising myself that I will pour into me, protect me, love me, and make time for me, put me first. And while not all my goals have been accomplished, I am well on my way.
So, what one small goal will you begin with? Do you want to add deep breathing to your morning? Do you want to write and set your intentions before anyone else wakes up when you start your day? I do this because it helps me keep structure and maintain my commitment to me even when others have other plans for my day.
I always remember the saying “if you don’t have plans for you, someone else will.” I do not want to be the sum result of blowing in the wind around other’s plans for me. Intention is by nature the promises we give ourselves.
Write down, or tell yourself one small change you will make that will start to put yourself on track to achieve something that is important to you. One small change. If it is losing weight, then maybe it’s taking out added sugar (which I personally know is easier said than done – but each day you do it, you are giving your body a beautiful gift with a big bright bow, how lovely.)
This goal should be personal to you – think mind, body, soul, lifestyle…
We will discuss professional goals later in this podcast. But first we want to be introspective and consider what small change can you make to improve your life a little…. Let’s start there!
Some changes I have made as I have been working on me include:
• Protecting my mornings and enjoying a me-centered morning routine
• Set my intentions in the morning before speaking with anyone else, so that I am the builder of my day and not the responder to other people’s days
• Enrolling in one course program at a time to continuously be developing the skills I need to make my goals come true
• Producing a podcast a week that helps others, and myself, become our best selves – that’s this podcast, Jessies World, and for me it has been an incredibly transformative process, I hope it has been for you as well, and continues to be
• Walk every day – if I am super busy that day or not feeling so great I do a small walk, on good days I do a long walk, if I can I do two walks, but I more often then not keep my commitment to walk every day and I always feel great when I do
• Have a night routine – so that at bedtime I am rested
• Pour into myself before bed – I know that having the type of childhood and challenges I have in my life have come with many negative messages and they can still replay in the present by way of self-doubt, insecurities, the perfection trap, being negative, and being fearful – to combat this reality and consequence of things that really were not my fault and not my shit – I intentionally fill myself with positive thoughts, good messages, powerful practices and learnings that seep into my subconscious when in rem and reinforce my wanting the best for me. I wake up lighter, happier, and focused on the good – and creating more of it. That is the power of small changes, they stack up and eventually build a beautiful life all your own.
Take the first step towards designing your perfect world…make that first promise.

Boss Life View
Now that we have articulated the fist promise you have made yourself for personal development, it’s time to take stalk in your professional life.
Considering the ancient Japanese philosophy of Ikigai (ee-kee-guy) means reason for being or having a direction or purpose in life.
When considering our professional lives, Ikigai is a great model to help us assess if we are truly fulfilled, or if we have work to do so that we can align our life’s work with our true authentic self and purpose or calling – and while I only recently discovered Ikigai, it really does embody the essence of what Jessie’s World is meant to be – a place where you can come every day and work on becoming your best self, and where you are supported by others in doing so.
Even if you feel that you are entirely fulfilled and are living out your calling – and that is amazing because most people have not achieved this – you still will have goals to help you perfect that even more. We as humans have the opportunity to evolve every day, if only we set the intention.
Now, if you have not yet aligned yourself with your work that is okay, it really is never too late.
Just like changes in our personal health, well being, and make up – changes in our career and work, are worth making, and should be done with intention, one step at a time.
When you consider that 1/3 of your day at least is dedicate to work, you can start to understand WHY a fulfilling career is essential to overall happiness in life, after all another 1/3 of your life is sleeping, and you don’t want to have only 1/3 fulfillment in life – and that would be if you entirely mastered the other 1/3 which is personal development but the chances are that you have more mastering to do there as well. So, one of the quickest ways to improve your happiness is to make that ONE SMALL STEP towards the life you desire from within.
For me, after years of being a hands-on, in office consultant, I decided that I wanted to help more people, and experience less burn-out. I knew I loved the field of self-help because I had been studying it intently since I was 14 years old, and it was very instrumental in helping me way through and come to terms with a lot of the challenges I faced earlier in life.
While I knew I had a lot of experience gained along my community development and business consulting journey, as well as from my personal improvements I made… I had to first shed this idea that I needed to be perfect in order to speak about the process of perfecting ourselves, because it is not PERFECT that we seek, but progress. And when it comes to progress I can confidently say I am an expert.
I remember someone I looked up to telling me until I ‘made it’ I could not teach others how to make it. Their jump off point in life was much different than mine, and as such they did not place a value on what I had ‘made it’ through. The truth was, I had made it through a lot, and I had a very valid story to tell and lessons to share. Unfortunately at the time I did not see that, and I had not done the work on myself that I had now – so instead of being able to think critically and say ‘that’s your perception, not mine’ I know my worth and value, I know the hell fire I have lived through and thrived – I know I have LOADS to offer… instead of that … I shrank and was hurt, and sad, and discouraged – the opposite of empowered.
It so hurt me deeply at the time that I believed that I was not, in my current state, worthy to live my God intended purpose. I could feel my calling nagging me – I knew I had to do it. I had plans for effecting change in others, and myself. Plans to improve communities, to uplift people, to help people win…. but like paper under a weight – they were held down with this notion that I first had to look like the pillar of perfection before anyone would care what I had to say.
That person’s advice was wrong! The only thing I really learned was I needed to do the work to be able to recognize the limitations in peoples perceptions have everything to do with them, and absolutely nothing to do with me – I set my path, not anyone else. You set your path, not anyone else, remember that.
And though that very incorrect advice internalized gave me imposter syndrome every time I tried to take flight, I eventually lived to see that same person take on tones of new first time challenges that they were not were not yet perfect at – but instead they were perfecting themselves along the way.
People will impose limits on you they will never put on themselves – do not allow this! Stand strong in your vision for you and your life. You are more than worthy!
My realization that others are also held down by the weight of self-imposed expectation, and that this was so prevalent, as in so many others also experience this, that there is a mainstream term for it “the perfection trap” I realized that I had to move forward, confident or not, in manifesting the dream that had been in my heart for so many years…as many years as I could remember really – and that dream was to help others find their gifts, become their best selves, and live their best lives. I do this for all, and I specialize in doing this in the music industry and I absolutely LOVE it. I feel fulfilled and overjoyed the more promises I make to myself, and keep, that lead me towards full-time fulfilling my destiny and creating a lasting, life-improving, world-improving legacy, that give me energy, that gives me joy.
The beauty is, that it is the cracks of my life, all the imperfections that at first held me back, eventually highlighted, illuminated this calling. If I was not abandoned as a child, and if my mother did not go to AA and remain in recovery and share books from Melody Beattie and other self help authors I would not have become obsessed with helping myself heal, I would not have done my college placement at the Self Help Resource Centre and learned even more about the self-improvement lifestyle and business. If I was not broken and then so beautifully put back together again, I may not have become an empath…but through the cracks my beauty shines, and my calling was born….
So I took one small step…and started by producing this podcast.
What one small step can you take to begin the manifestation of your dream work?
Maybe I will do a deep dive into Ikigai and how to build a fulfilling life – maybe I will do it as a workshop. DM me and let me know if that’s something you would like @JessicaVibez but in the meantime…. Let us being with one goal, one promise to yourself that will put you on the path to realizing your professional dream… here are a few steps I have now made:
• Enrolled in Digital Marketing Certificate Program to learn skills to help connect with my audiences better and to re-fresh my corporate communications university education
• Produce this podcast regularly – with a commitment to release weekly episodes
• Start to build the website that will engage my Jessie’s World community in a deeper and more consistent way
• Created strategic guidelines that help add structure to how I operate Jessie’s World and Platinum Indie (my supportive suite of services and resources for indie recording artists and professionals)
• Outlined my first self-help book that I am now in the process of writing
These steps may seem big, but they all started small. As I learned to trust myself I slowly added. I also learned that some goals are on-going, and so the trust and flexibility needs to be ongoing too. For example I had a sore throat on the weekend so I recorded this episode late but I recorded it and now you are listening to it… progress not perfection.
I, am an expert, in progress – NOT perfection, and I love that.
What small goal will you commit to that you will do regularly to move the dial forward on achieving your professional dreams?
I can’t wait to see your small step become a giant leap one day – you’ve got this.
Quick Note on Power of Consistency
Now that you have made a personal promise to yourself and a professional promise to yourself, your commitment needs to be that you will work towards this promise regularly.
Consider how you can turn this new step into a habit.
For example if the new promise is drink more water, the way to create a habit may be keeping a Britta by your desk in the day and drinking throughout the day. This could have tremendous health benefits and the small step is easy to maintain day after day until it becomes a habit and then you will be ready to add another promise because you have proven you keep your promises to you – and that is powerful.

Gods N Goddesses – Meditate on Topic Success with Breathing and Affirmations
Before we wrap up, let us remember we are all Gods and Goddesses, and let us take a moment to center and connect with self.
Let’s do a bit of breathing, deep into the belly.
In through the nose, out through kissing lips.
And as you continue to breathe
I want you to repeat this affirmation either out loud or in your head whatever works for you
“I keep my promises to myself. I can trust myself to keep promises. My promises are small and manageable. I know that every time I keep my promise I bring myself closer to my ideal vision of self for me. I am the writer of my own story, and the architect of my life. I am not defined by my past, and the future is mine to shape and decide. My life is carefully and intentionally crafted one small fulfilled promise at a time, and I am building the life of my dreams. My promises are routed in authenticity, self-love, and my God given calling. I want what is best for me, and I am prepared to take actionable steps to make my dreams a reality. I am committed to me. I keep my promises to me. I trust myself. I love myself. I’ve got this!”

Call to Action
Today, if you have not done so already, right after this episode, write down one promise to yourself that will improve you personally, and one that will improve you professionally. Write these promises to yourself, and the small step you will do daily to keep each promise to you. Then start TODAY fulfilling your commitment to you.
Promise (What outcome will be achieved when answering call to action)
When you keep your promises small and manageable, when you state your promises to yourself, and when you fulfill those promises you are strengthening your promise muscle and building your belief in you. Pretty soon you will see how far you will have come and you will begin making, and keeping, bigger bolder promises to yourself. You are well on your way to success my friend, I am so happy for you, you’ve got this!
Thank You, Gratitude (and shout-outs)
Today, I am so grateful to have had the time and opportunity to sit and think about my commitment to myself, my life, my purpose, my calling. I am so overjoyed to have an opportunity to enjoy a new day where I am not just surviving but where I am putting in practical steps that will make me thrive. I am so pleased to be a part of a community that supports my growth and development, and that regularly reminds me to continue working towards becoming my best version of myself. I know that as long as I continue to come back and working on my, I will continue to design and enjoy experiencing my best life.
Outro & Follow / Like / Subscribe
Thanks so much for listening to Jessie’s World podcast, where we are dedicated to helping you become your best self, and live your best life.
Please like, follow, share, subscribe and check us out on Instagram @JessiesWorldXO – you can also follow me, your host @JessicaVibez
Check us out next week for another great episode that promises to help further you along your transformation journey to personal enlightenment, and success.
One Love!