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We cover topics on physical and mental healing, health, happiness, growing wealth and living wise in a world that often sabotages you.
From Health to Wealth with topics covering Cradle to Grave. We got you.
Listen on all audio podcast players like @Spotify, @Audible, @Pandora, @ApplePodcasts, @iHeartRadio or watch on @YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyHappyWiseWealthyPodcast. Connect on socials @Instagram, @Facebook, @TikTok and @LinkedIn at @HealthyHappyWiseWealthy
Website coming soon: HealthyHappyWiseWealthy.Com
Email: healthyhappywisewealthy@gmail.com
Podcast Sponsor: Full-Service IT Company @Mindiii https://www.mindiii.com
Hi, everyone. I am Mary Meyer, and I am the host of Healthy,
Happy, Wise, and Wealthy. And this is our premier, very
first podcast. I'm so excited to have these ladies in
the room with me. So I actually have with me another three
podcasters. And Kara Stoltenberg has
written a book, and so has Jaclyn Strominger. And Erika
Christie is the brains behind this operation, and
I don't know what I'd really do without her there. I wouldn't attempt to do
a podcast. So the whole basis of this podcast is about
talking through things that, you know, in life, we all want to be
healthy, we want to be happy, we want to be wise, we want to be
wealthy. But a lot of things happen in life where it. It can get
derailed. So I am way more interested in talking to
people that have lived through some stuff and know some things
and, and what we can learn from that. So we're gonna, we're gonna do that
tonight. And so Erika
Christie, she is magic in my
mind. So being an actor and someone who's done hosting,
the. The thing that you have to have is someone who knows
all the stuff behind the camera and, and all the
stuff that I don't even know the words for. So it's like
I'm not nearly as wise as she is. So Erika, I adore her.
Erika is in Atlanta, though, and I've worked with her on
ATL Live and some other things, so that's super fun. Okay.
And the other ones. So Jaclyn Strominger, she's next on our list right here. So
I have now moved to Reno. These are my ladies from three different cities. Erika's
in Atlanta, Jaclyn and Reno, and Kara in Franklin,
Tennessee. In Tennessee, near Nashville. So Jaclyn Strominger I
met after moving here to Reno last year. She is a high performance business
coach with the Missing Link network. And she has
just in the last week gotten her first book, which
I'm super excited that she co wrote, and I'm so excited about
that for her. Kara Stoltenberg is a
dear, dear friend who I have done so much work
with myself over the years for doing
healing work from Lyme's disease and other things. And she has
probably with the. One of the biggest wealth of knowledge that I think
I on this planet in terms of just the
things that, that she knows and
how she helps people and the wisdom that she has. So
both Jaclyn and Kara have some really cool podcasts,
and Erika, of course, too, has one that's just gonna. That is very helpful
to. For teaching people all the stuff to know behind the camera and making things
happen. So I would love for you guys to
just say a couple things. Erika didn't necessarily want to be on this whole
thing, but if she wants to say a couple things. And then Jaclyn and
Kara, I would love for you guys to just kind of introduce yourself and kind
of just tell us a little bit about your podcast, and
we'll start with the podcast and then we'll go with the other stuff. Yeah, I'll
just say hi to everybody real quick. Mary is amazing. I'm
really, really excited that the two. Of you are going to be on. This show,
and I'm really interested to hear the Golden
Nuggets. I'm going to say that Mary's going. To get out of you on the
show, so best of luck and really looking forward to hearing this great
conversation. There's so much I want to ask
you guys. So, like, let's just start with Jaclyn. Tell us
about. Because I'm just starting this podcast, right? So
I'm new, and I want people who are listening to go.
If I'm starting a podcast, why would I start
it? What would be the benefit of it, and why would I do
it? Okay, so. All right, so I'm so excited. Mary
and Kara, it's so great to meet you. So
podcasting first, my podcast, Unstoppable
Leadership Spotlight podcast, I started
it. My first episode was in September of
2024, and I jumped into
podcasting for a couple of different reasons. Reasons one
was I'm. I love networking and I love meeting people. So that was sort of,
number one, it was a great way to meet people. Number two, it is
a great way to create authority in your business and
to get your name out there and to use
your podcast as a way to also
meet people that could either introduce you to people
or potentially create leads for your
business. Right. It's a great. It's a great avenue.
And the other kind of key
reason for me also was I have a huge passion for
helping people. And I, you know, it's called my podcast again, it's
Unstoppable Leadership Spotlight. It's to help create great
leaders in the world. Because I am a firm believer if we have
great leaders out there, that maybe we would have more people
that would want to, instead of running away from
companies, want to run towards companies and to have happier
people out there because you, you know, so many people leave their job or leave
their, you know, their end of the day, and they're like, oh, my God, I
hate where I'm working. And nine times out of 10, I hate to say it,
it's leadership. So if we could make happier and better leaders,
maybe we'd have happier and happier people. Right? So.
Right. And you know, I'll just,
I'll share that. My journey going into podcasting, I started
being a guest and there's a couple of different sites that I, you know, I
could recommend. You can let me know if you want me to do that, that
you could go to to get your name on there to be a guest. And
it was through guesting that I got comfortable. And then I was like, I think
I want to have my own. And
so I personally started using something called Matchmaker
fm and then I started using something called Pod
Match. And I love
between the two of those and there's other ones out there and there's lots of
places that you can go on Facebook and LinkedIn and
social whatever to get matched. But what
I found that I liked about PodMatch was that it actually acts like a dating
site in a way where it actually connects you with different people. And
as a host, you actually get paid. Right. That's
awesome. And they are not sponsoring us, me
yet or anyone. And. But soon, soon. No, I'm just
kidding. Kara, tell us, tell us about you. Yeah,
thanks for having me. I am so excited for you in this new
endeavor as yours is a voice that will be
beautiful and wonderful in the world and I'm excited
to be part of your launch into this podcasting
journey. I launched my podcast
in on January 11 last year,
2024. So we have been going strong for a year and
at the end of the year, the celebration of like, we
are still going strong and season three is coming and it's
happening now. Such a great feeling
for me. Um, I had a major life
change. So I've been coaching for nearly two decades
and it's been seven years ago. I was in a
hit and run accident that, you know, I was on my bike and I was
in a hit and run accident and it completely
changed my life and I did not work at all for two
years. And then after that started coaching
slowly and realized, oh, I'm not going to be able to
just one on one coach people and full time work the way
I was. So I began to ask with my arms
open, show me what I can do
that allows me to bring my gifts and offerings into the
world in a different way and works for my
brain because I have a brain injury, as you know, Mary,
and allows me to make a living while making an
Impact, maybe making an impact is my most important thing. I know that's the
thing that drives me more than anything. But we all also have to make
a living. So that was the beginning, I guess.
As I continued to ask that question. Podcasting was something that
I always wanted to do, even before my accident. It was
something on my desired list. It's something that I.
I really enjoy speaking to people.
My podcast is called Stepping in with Kara. And
stepping in was the name that I chose, because what I
do, what is my superpower, is stepping in with
people, holding space for people for their
story and drawing them deeper into that story.
And this is what I do in my coaching and help people, you know, find
liberation from, you know, things that have happened, circumstances in
their lives, to become, you know, truly
okay, right where they are and find a way to
navigate to the best and brightest as they continue moving
forward. So what I. What I found in my journey,
especially after my accident, was, you know, kind of being an
author, a coach,
and just being in the world where the frame
is always the hero's journey, and being on
this, you know, trajectory of healing, where
my own. I just kept feeling like I
don't feel like the hero of my story, and I didn't
like that feeling. And I kept trying to be the hero, like, and then you
got to this place and then you did this. And, you know, I've just been
in a really long story that's still going, and
it's. It's still frustrating, and I. I feel like that's life.
And so I wanted to have a podcast that
rather than, like, and now I've got it all wrapped up, and here's the bow.
And looking back, here's how that was. I really like to step into
stories, even if they are something that's happened in the past, and go deep
into the vulnerable spaces that all of us as humans
can relate to and be encouraged by and inspired by
one another, because there's so much common ground
in, you know, the triumphs, but also the struggles
of life. And I. I love, you
know, meeting people, as Jaclyn was talking
about, like, it's been an amazing opportunity
to be able to connect with
others in their journey. And I. I
have absolutely loved the response from other people, like,
oh, my gosh, I so related to that person, even though I've never been in
those circumstances, like, just those. Those little nuggets that are
just humanity, and we can share those.
So. Yes. And
one of the things that I. I love about having you both on here
is that you know, I know you both very well, which is why I asked
you to be on here with me, because I so appreciate it. I'm like, I
just have to get started and. And do that. So. And sometimes
that's what you do, right? When you're starting something new,
the different personalities show through. So, And. And
with you both also, I described you guys today as
almost like two wings on a bird. So where, you know,
Kara is, you're very incredibly gifted
at taking people into their story and. And helping
them heal in the places they need to. And Jaclyn is so very good
at. At making sure, like, you want to build something
that you get your ass in gear, you know,
you send. You start building. So it kind of depends.
And it's like, you know, being able to find, like, and
we, I think, you know, and anyone listening to, it's like we have. We have
our voice. You know, we have our voice in the world, and our voice sounds
different than other people's voices. Right? And I, for me,
I know I will look at someone who's a leader and go, they're
amazing. And how do I make myself be like
them when in reality, you know, our voices
are. Are what they're supposed to be for a reason, because we have a specific
thing that we're doing, and it's very good, and it's very helpful.
So, you know, and
that's what I love about both of you so, so much.
You're both so good at what you do. So.
And on that note, um, let's ask. I wanted to ask, like, a little
bit, like, you guys both do coaching. So, like, when you. So this is a
question for both of you. And again, it's going to be, like, completely
two very different things. But when you guys take on a client to
coach them and you're working with someone,
what kind of. What's kind of your methodology? What are you thinking
about? What things are you looking at in them that. To
help them move forward? Okay. Well, first of all,
I just have to say this is so great. And I, again, like, I'm so
honored to be on here with you, but something that you, you know, saying,
getting started, it was actually one of the things that I just shared.
We all. We can't necessarily wait for perfection and to have everything,
all. Everything lined up. We. Sometimes you just have to go,
right? So I'm so excited for you to go.
So looking at my clients, I mean, I look at clients very
differently, but one of the biggest things that I walk my clients
through, and every one of them is that I do look at
them where they are in all different aspects of their lives.
You know, I'm a big believer in using, whether
you call it the circle of life or the wheel of life. I love looking
at that and looking at the eight different. Eight different components that. What,
you know, what make up parts of
our lives. Right. And then breaking that down and looking really at a
lot of core key values and what. What drives people. And then I'm
looking at what they're looking at, what their goals are and where they want to
go, and really kind of honing in on their mission and their vision, and we're
taking it and applying those into
action plans, because everybody does have a set goal, and if
we want to move forward. What are those. What are those personal?
You know, what's the personal mission and goal and what is the
business goal and mission? And we're creating
intentions, you know, on both personal and business. And we're
focusing in. We pick two. Can't pick too
many. But really honing in on what those are
and. And then looking at what people are going through and really want to
find out either what's stopping them, blocking them, what's getting in their
way, what are some of those fears?
Because all of those things come out and then helping
them with processes, particularly in business, to, as I love to say,
what are those two steps that they need to take each day to move
forward? Right.
Yeah, for sure. And I've. And I've done coaching with both of you, so, like,
you both are my friends, but, you know, I've most recently, like,
my thing just moved. That was fun.
This is my first time doing a podcast. Not my first time in front of
a camera, but, you know, doing a podcast.
But when, you know, most recently with Jaclyn. So we were talking through business
stuff and what's going on with that, and, like, the. The feedback I got was
like, okay, this is really helpful. This is definitely the next step I need to
do for sure. And I do think there's those. We just have stages in
our life where we need both things. I know when I met Kara. Well, I
didn't meet. Just meet you. I had known you before this, but when I started
working with you, like, I was not healthy at all, and I was not
physically healthy. I don't even think I realized how not physically healthy I was. And
you were doing more health coaching. We'll call it coaching.
I mean, you're doing your health magic back then. I don't even know
all the words. And then it became more Of a
emotional and then spiritual, spiritual and. And
you know, the, all the, all the different aspects of that too. So I'm
a cara that kind of question. So when you take on now
what you're doing right now. So when you work with someone, what do you, what
do you look for? Yeah, and I, I have
move shifted more into like spiritual life coaching and
mentorship as opposed to health coaching. But I mean,
tried taking someone out of the health realm after spending, you know, a
decade in it. I'm always listening for that. But
I think for me, I also
wanted to tag on. One of my favorite mantras is action brings clarity.
So you just diving in and like taking the action, like it'll all become
clear for me.
I'm listening. Like my brain hears
connections between I,
family programming,
energy blocks. I do a lot of work with energy, hygiene
and just energy in the body. And
I used to work with that in terms of the physical body. I still
will bring people into their physical body, their somatic, you know,
experience and consider, you know,
how emotions are showing up in the body. Where emotions are showing up
in the body. I do a lot of
inner child work with people. I can hear when
someone's talking to me and, and they're expressing and they share
something, like make a profound statement or like
a belief comes out. I can hear when it's an inner
child part that's coming out. And I'm just, I'm just,
I can just hear that and then draw that out. So a lot of people
who have never done inner child work, I'm really tuned
into dark, different parts, those little young
parts, teenage parts I'm really big
on. The things that we go through in life do not define
us. They are things that have happened to us. So
when we can separate out things we've been through that
have really affected us and maybe they've even become part of who we are, how
we operate in the world. But when we can find our agency
within the story and even rewrite some of
those things. So I think I take people into those places.
I do a lot of work with, you know, just nervous system
regulation really tuning in. Like, where am I right now?
Am I in freeze? Am I in fight? Am I in flight? Am I fawning
and people pleasing? Am I able to access
the ventral vagal? I'm enjoying life and I'm feeling good
and, you know, just helping people kind of like tag in at
any given time during the day and recognize where am I? And then have tools.
I'm big on tools. So so building the toolbox, from
nervous system regulators to
energy tools to emotional regulation,
like, learning to really befriend all the
emotions and have conversations with
emotions, understand, like, why is that anger there? What
is that fear? Is it really danger? What, you know, is a
distortion of fear? Is it anxiety? Like, what's going
on and how can you use that in your life?
So, you know, I'm. I'm very big on giving
tools and reminders to use those
tools. So I may give someone a tool, but, you know, I always tell people,
like, if I check in about it, it's not because you need to be like,
oh, gosh, I haven't done that. It's more like, we all need to be reminded.
We learn in layers. And over time, when you have support,
you remember, like, oh, yeah, that tool. And it's actually helpful if
I use it. And different tools work better for some people
or for other people. So, you know, getting to work with
a coach or be a part of a group doing, like, group coaching or
something is so helpful because over time, you're
reminded. It's sort of like when you're super sick, you forget, like, wait, what things
do I do to support my immune system? And you need your friend to tell
you, like, you know, take your probiotic and up your vitamin D and take some
vitamin C or, you know, all those kind of things. So,
yeah, those are. Are some of the things that. And I'm
also big on. Rubber meets the road. Like, we get clear on
where we are so that we can actually
travel in the direction that we really want to go in.
Because if we aren't clear and really present to where we are
in these bodies, we can't actually take steps
toward a desire that we have. So as I help people
get really honest and clear about where they are, their
desires always come out, whether they're relational desires, work
desires, family desires, inner desires, whatever.
And we can take little steps toward those
desires that are aligned, our actions aligning with what
we really want. You know, I help people see if they're
taking actions in this direction, but what they really want is over here.
They're never gonna get there. But a lot of times it's
those. It's those programming, you know, old
programs that are keeping us from taking action aligned to what we
really want. So that's why I do the. The focus
on kind of that deeper work. And that's. That's just. That's where I go
naturally to the deeper. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, and again, like, I just feel like you guys are both
so good at what you do, and you're both helping people, and it's just a
little different focus. And I, I personally find that fascinating, you know, because.
And it's. You're both operating in your strengths in that, for sure. So. And, and
Kara has a group program that I hope she does again soon, because I joined
her in that last year. So these are two friends that I
picked pay money to. To, like, give me advice. Seriously.
Worth it. And worth it. So for sure.
So how do you guys. How do you take what you have
learned from coaching people and putting that into
a podcast? Like, when people listen to your podcast, what is some
of the wisdom that you've. You've gotten from learning with, working with
clients that will come out in that. Jaclyn? So
it's interesting. You know, a lot
of the parts of my podcast are actually
for the. My guests to actually share their insight and
wisdom. And what, what comes out actually
is
almost cementing key
insights that we get to repeat because
somebody else is sharing something
that they have done or some. Or part of their story that
you're like, oh, right. So that's like a huge part of what I do
in X, Y or Z. And it's. It's a.
It's really saying,
oh, yeah, great. That's a great thing. It's a great lesson and something
that we can actually repeat and keep teaching. So, like yesterday, for
example, I had this guy on my podcast. He is
amazing. He is, first of all, he's 89 years old and you would never know
it. He has written these amazing books.
Really amazing. Really just great person. And he has
done awesome. He's an. He was an amazing CEO and
leader in his. In his field. And as we were talking, we
were talking about his experience and his journey and his parts of
his life. Key wisdoms were coming out. And,
you know, it was in. One of the key topics was like, remember to
listen, right? Like, Carrie, you were just listening, right? And
that's one of the big things that a leader has to do, is to listen,
keep. And I was kidding around. I'm like, we need to keep our ears
open. If I could, you know, I kept thinking of a funny comic
that I could because I can wiggle my ears. I'm not going to do it
right now, but, like, wiggle my ears. And so people, like, watch
them. They're. They're moving for a reason. We want you to listen and use
your ears. And. And it kind of came out as one
of his principles. And so I love the. I
Guess it's the part of my podcast is that the,
the gaining and the insights that a lot of the people have
just affirmed some of the things that, that
I guess that I do as a coach to help my
clients be better leaders and be better stewards in their
business and help them achieve more and be high achievers.
Yeah, for sure. And Jaclyn also has Missing Link Network, which is one of the
things that I have found very helpful in business. So it's a networking
group. So we go out there, we meet other business owners,
and we. It is, of course, networking. Lots of times the groups are for.
Are helping each other build each other's business with giving
referrals, you know, to grow business. But also what she's
done with that is she's taken a lot of mastermind kind of ideas. So we're
coming up with what's your elevator pitch? What's your unique, you
know, buying proposition? Things that we have to know, and we're not
necessarily good at that. So it becomes kind of like a board of
directors almost for that. And what. And it's
another thing that I find very interesting between the two of you. Right. Even though
Kara is very much going in and you're very much going, let's go build. You
know, business is a lot of what, what you're doing, Jaclyn, is that it's the
same principles, right? It's listening to others, listening to your own
story, finding your truth, acting on your truth. It's really, it's. It's
really the same thing. So, Kara, your turn to kind of
add into that how you. How you found in your podcast.
It really kind of is a similar
to. To Coach. I mean, I kind of know. I just want you to say
it. Like, how, how do you bring out the wisdom? I love it. Oh, by
the way, I'm like, Jaclyn, let's create something together and so we can
be a whole bird. I'm loving, like, every
day. I'll be the
little body in the middle. Yeah,
I, I think my answer to that question is very similar to
what Jaclyn said, because I am going to start
doing solo episodes, actually. And it's
interesting how I've known I wanted to do solo episodes from
the beginning, but because,
Mary, as you've alluded several times, I don't have just
like, here's what I talk about this thing
and that broadness. I talk
about the experience of humans. I talk
about what it is like to be a human alive on the
planet and the kind of things that come up in life. That's A very
broad topic. And so I think that it was most
natural for me to start by bringing other
people in and holding space for their story, because
I do not think most people
are very comfortable with actually stepping
in and just being there with people in it,
whatever it is, and. Right.
And that's the thing that I. I'm really good
at. And so part of it is, like,
let me highlight the things that these people
are saying, like, you know, tools that they use to get through hard times
or what it felt like to be in that. You,
like, let's go there. Like, let's not just say, oh, man, I
kind of didn't want to be here. Big
statement. Like, let's. Let's go there a little more. Let's step
into that a little bit. What was that like, day in and day out?
How did you survive that? And all of a sudden, we're having
a conversation on a different layer. My hope in
that is that, you know, people listening, if they're in that
space, feel the inspiration of,
okay, I'm not the only one who's ever been here. That's how we usually feel
when we're in hard times. I also hope that
people are learning how to actually just be with people
in hard times, hold space for
hard conversations. I think if we as a
society got a little bit better about not needing to, like,
fix it to make ourselves feel more comfortable or
offer some kind of like, well, you know, like just
things. Yep. Pick yourself, buy your
bootstraps, and positive things. You know, sometimes things are true
but not helpful. Sometimes
things just don't resonate and just feel you.
When the work. One of the worst feelings when you're in a really hard circumstances
is when you just feel like you are missing me.
One of the greatest feelings is when you feel witnessed. When you feel
like you get it. You, you, you. Oh, my gosh, you're just.
You're okay with me being right here. You're okay with
me still being sad 15 years later. You're okay with.
I'm not positive at this moment in time. I'll get back there.
But right now I'm feeling hopeless.
So I think for me, I want to keep having this conversation about
what it really means to step in with
yourself, which is one of the things I teach my clients to do,
what it means to step in with one another. Because we all want to have
vibrant, you know, relationships with the people who really matter in our lives and our
families, in our communities, in our work. You know, we
want to have beautiful relationships, but I think talking about,
what does that look like? You know, that that's for me. So I
guess I highlight when people say things that I'm like, ooh,
that's really powerful. I will highlight and reflect that.
You know, I. I've learned, like, when I
first started, my coaching is
so different than holding space for someone's story, because
I am holding space for your story if I'm coaching you, but I'm
also talking more. So I had to find, like,
my groove with taking up a little more space and actually
contributing more of my little nuggets to the
conversation in the podcast episodes. And that kind of happened
over time. And I find in some
episodes I do more of that, and in some episodes I
do less of that. But as Jaclyn was sharing, you know, I experienced the
same thing. Like, the wisdom from other people
is just rampant, and we all have so
much wisdom, and a lot of times we don't even know the things that
we're saying are, like, so profound or so, like,
poignant for people in so many circumstances, you
know. And. And
I do think what you're doing is so. I feel like it's. It is, like
you said, very overlooked. And there was even, like, something go around,
something going around on Facebook recently that was about, you
know, holding space. And I remember I.
I learned that term from you, like, what that means. It's like we're just going
to be here with each other. And Jaclyn, you do a great job with this,
too. And there's not a. It's. We're not judging each other.
We're hearing each other and wondering where we are and just acknowledging that's where
we are and just the.
The fact that we need this so badly. Because if you've been through some kind
of hell, the worst thing in the world, and almost it's
re. Traumatizing and. And actually can take a
trauma and make it in my mind 20 times worse
by people who are not sitting with you and not
seeing it and just saying, and. And it becomes kind of a
blame. Right? You know, you're like that. Because I won't
even say the things that. That have been said to me, but they're awful in
my. In my mind, but from people who are. Who love me and are trying
to help. And so. And it's not helpful, so. Because it's not helpful
and you're not seen and you don't understand some of the ramifications of what
goes on in your body when you've been, you know, for.
Psychologically abused, for example. And People don't understand what goes on your
nervous system. So. So people say dumb things, you know, or,
you know, you don't know. Like, you know, in management, it's the same thing. Like
in business, like, I just heard someone, like, you know, someone's having the worst
time, you know, getting divorced and all this stuff, and someone comes in with, like,
this. The slam dunk on what the age has been wrong with you, you
know, like, so it. It translates to, you know,
your personal life and your business life. And if we're not paying
attention to people being humans and just a cog in the
wheel or just, you know, get. Stop, get over that, you know, move
on, you know, pick yourself up. Let's get going.
We really do a lot of damage. To people, you know, Mary, what you just,
you know, it's sharing that it's so important that whether
you are. No matter where you are in your life, whether you're leading
people or you're a
partner in a firm. And when I say partner, I mean an employee, because I
hate the word employee. It's like one of my. Like, I hate. There's two words
I think need to get out of work, which is
manager and employee. We don't manage. You manage a
herd of sheep. We are not sheep. We're not cows. We are
humans. And every human in a business is a
partner, you know, and that's how I look at people.
And so I think that no matter where you are
in your life or no matter what you are doing, we
have to spend time getting
to know what each other's, for
lack of a better word, mission and vision is in life and where we want
to be. And you have to put that emotional
intelligence into your life
for other people. Because otherwise, you know, if you treat people
just like a cog on the wheel or the number,
and they're. They're not feel
attached to the other person or the
business or the thing. And we want to create that
attachment. You know, I think. I think back to,
you know, times and like, the best corporate
experience that I. And it wasn't the
manager. It was the fact that the team that we were
part of. It was such an entrepreneurial family.
We were all in it together. And
when that ended, it was like a
marriage ending or divorce or you're breaking up a family.
And it was. I kept thinking, oh, we want to replicate this. We
want to replicate this amazing attachment
at another place. And what it was is that it is in
a huge learning was realizing that
we all were part of something that we had a
vested interest in seeing it succeed, and
we each knew that we were
sorry. You know, it was bigger than ourselves. Right. And so if
you can create that, whether it's, you know, in your family and you're,
like, with the other people that are around you, you realize, yes, you're important,
but there's so much more.
Yeah, for sure. I would love to share a quote. As you're
talking, I'm like, oh, I have to see who the. Who said this, and, you
know, know, I'm gonna butcher his name, but is it Antoine the
Saint, author of the Little Prince? If you
want. If you want to build a print, if you want to build a
ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood. Divide the work
and give orders. Instead, teach
them to yearn for the vast and endless
sea. That just, like, sums up what you're talking about,
Jaclyn. I think in any organization, like, if we actually
create that longing together and we're all,
like, valued for whatever we're contributing
and we have a voice and we're able to, you know, share.
I know, like, in my organization, like, in my. In my coaching and my
podcasting, I'm like, I want everyone to feel like I'm
doing things that feel aligned and make me feel alive. And,
you know, if you have a voice, like, if you're like this,
this task drains me. Can we. Can we look at
reallocating or. That's been one of the things my producer and
I, from the beginning have, you know, really been so honest
and open in our communication. And, you know, we have a different level of
commitment to each other and the product, the.
The. The podcast itself. And I think when
you can feel. You feel that energy, when that's there versus
missing. Yeah. And I think that happens in family systems. That happens
in businesses. Like, I love what you were saying, and I just wanted to share
that. Quote, but no, I. I absolutely love that it's actually going to make me
want to reread the. The Little Prince because I'm like, I love. I feel
like so many of our kid books, right? Like, I. There's
certain ones that I just absolutely adore, and so I've got to reread the Little
Prince. Another one of my absolute favorite ones is, you know,
the. The Melting Pot, which is a great book. It's about telling the
truth, and it's great. But there's also another book called
Ellison the Elephant, and it is
all about knowing and finding your own voice.
And it's. It's a. It's a Great book.
I. Absolutely, you know, the, the gist of it really quickly
is that Ellison is this little elephant and he cannot make the trumpet
sound at all of an elephant. And so, you know, he goes through
the things that we all go through as a kid, like being teased and that,
you know, all those stuff, and he ends up going out
and his friend Weasel. Not
necessarily sure if it's really an imaginary friend or if it's a real friend,
but Weasel helps him find his voice and he
makes this beautiful trumpet, jazzy sound. And
as soon as he starts making it, all the other
elephants want to know how to do it.
But it's all about finding your. It's like, all about finding your voice. Like, each
and every one of us has a voice. We can, you know, we can say
the same thing, but it's going to resonate differently with other
people. And it's so important.
Yes. Yeah. I think these, and these
messages are so important. I think both in family and in
personal circles and in business. And I just, like, even this last week, I was
talking to people, three different people said they
were wondering if they should sue an employer because
the, just the, the
abuse. The abuse, I mean, you know, it's psychological. It's not, you know,
being hit or anything, but is so bad. And I'm like, I feel like there's,
there's an epidemic in leadership going on. And this is people in different states
and different industries. It's not one industry at
all. And then, of course, you know, we have so much, you know,
interpersonal crises. That's, that's kind of everywhere. So. Yeah,
and it's, it's what you guys are saying. It's every, it's all the, it's the
stuff of listening and understanding and building together. And
Jaclyn, I never heard that term. You don't like
manager and employee. You like, what were the terms? You
said partner. Partner, where we lead, people. We.
I never can't stand it. I, I, it, it drives me like,
it's like nails on a chalkboard. I'm an employee.
And it just sounds so derogatory.
Everybody is. They're a team member. They're a partner. And we
are, we, we're made of leaders. Managers
literally manage tasks. And we, we, you know, it's
product management, it's task oriented.
No, I believe people. Right. Don't get the word
management and employee out. Right.
Yeah, Yeah, I love that. And I do think it would change. I think it
would change cultures that need to be changed in business and in, you know,
the world. So that's great. I
wanted to ask you guys about your, your books since you both
have things that you've written and just tell us a little bit about that. And
then as we finish up, I'm just like, if there's questions you guys have of
each other, I'd love to hear that too. But Kara, why don't you start this
time? Your book. Yeah. Books,
sections and books. I have co authored three different books that have been
published. The first one was called Pebbles in the
Pond, Wave four. And that one
is a collection of stories about like a moment in time
that was transformative in your life. And for me, that was
a moment in time. That was the first published
piece that I ever put out into the world. And it was a huge part
of my own healing because it was finding the freedom
to, you know, and for me, it wasn't about being
seen or anyone having access to me. Like,
I didn't have the fear of, like, oh, I don't want people to see me.
It was I, the person who had been
my abuser. I did not want that person to have access
to me. And it was terrifying to put anything out in the world. So I'm
happy to say I'm so far past that and I'll put anything in the world,
like, I am just living my free life.
Then I did another one called Dream Boldly, I dare you. And
that one was really fun. And it was, that was a
compilation of bold dreaming and moments, you
know, shared by people where a dream either, you know, the
premise of the dream or the dream becoming reality. That's a really cool
book. And most recently, I contributed a chapter to
a breathwork anthology that, you know, I
shared of a story. It was actually from my near death experience
and what breath work, you know, how breath work has been a part
of my healing. Um, I love
contributing chapters to anthologies because it's so
like, there's a start, there's a finish, there's a word count,
there's a, you know, you go on a journey to write it. Anytime you write
and publish anything, it's a journey, it's an inner journey.
But you can't like drag it out so much because it's just like, here's your
parameters and the creator in me loves
those parameters. I, I, I was actually working on
a book before my accident and I may
still write that book, but I definitely switched gears
and most recently and currently I'm working on a book
about my, my journey in, you know,
having a life event that completely changed
my life Pulled the rug out from under me after I had
worked so, so hard to secure that rug under me. You
know, I. I had really worked hard to
build a life that I loved. And then one day, it
all went away. And not all of it. There were aspects of it that were
still there, but with a brain injury, you are not
yourself. You. You. You can't access all parts of
yourself. And so I have
been working on this book, sort of
detailing for me. I like to write about
the transformation. I like to write about lived
experiences and kind of the gold that's been mined
from those lived experiences, because I really.
That's how I get through hard things is like, okay, but what are
we mining here? How are we making life better through this?
And for me, I think the real, like, see, steadying myself
to be okay, truly okay,
right here, right now. And I thought that was the
whole arc of the book. And as I got into the book,
when I got to that part, I was like, oh, this is
actually the middle of this arc. For me, the. The
next wave that I'm living now is beyond being okay. Once
you've studied yourself and you're truly okay right here,
how do you build from here with what you've got and love
your freaking life? Because I'm just a person who. I don't want to just be
like, I'm okay. I'm like, no, I want to love my
life. And so if my life needs to look really
differently, I'm going to keep giving
space for the things that I lament and grieve that can't be a
part of my life. But I also want to keep opening the doors
into the new, like, well, this is me now. So what does
life look like for me in a ways that I'm like, wow,
this is great. I love this. And so it's restructuring things around
me, restructuring things within me. I really
believe that the key to being
happy is to take responsibility
for. I'm going to meet myself
wherever I am, and I'm going to feel everything
there is to feel, and I'm going to keep giving space for that, and I'm
going to support myself in all the ways necessary. I'm going to
steady my feet under me, and then I'm going to find ways
to feel alive and to feel joy right
here and to, you know, squeeze all that I can out of life.
So that's what I've been writing about now. And I
don't have, like, a. And I'll be wrapping that book up
in. I. I guess I would love by the end of this year
to have a rough draft of that book, but we'll see as time
and brain injury and doing all the things allow. You know,
I. I don't always get to be in control of the timelines anymore,
which is one of the things that I have to work with. Right.
Well, in listening to you, because I've known you for so long, I'm having all
the emotions of, like, remembering that first book launch
and how much it took to go to not being scared
anymore into being willing to say it. And then I'm.
Then I'm remembering, you know, that because the. The
accident happened right when I was moving from Nashville to Atlanta,
and I had texted you and said, hey, are you free? And then you didn't
respond, and you didn't respond, and I was literally. I was just like, I'm. I'm
hurt by this to find out you're in a hospital almost dead.
Right. You know, and. Yeah, so I'm just having all those
emotions right now. And I think with you, too, I mean, I want to cover
different things, like in the physical, you know, things in the world that can
stop us and what we can do for just very tangible healing things. And
have you talk about specifically brain injury later, but with you, it's like,
you. You. You don't know. You're brain injured. You could have these
amazing conversations and lead people, and it's like, what do you mean you're brain injured?
You don't look brain injured. And of course, with you, it's more in
the movement and the driving and. And a bunch of,
you know, auditory, but, like, just talking
to you. Yeah. And stamina. I think stamina is the hardest
until you. Yeah, because. And the invisibility of it, you know, the fact
that people are like, oh, you don't look. I could never tell. Like, that's. That's
part of what's hard is, you know, you're. You're doing everything you can to show
up and be so present and, you know, know the way that, like, the. The
recovery from something like this, engaged conversation or,
you know, what I have to do to reserve my energy
in a day to be able to have a conversation like this in an evening.
You know, that stamina, which is just not normal
life, you know, we. We're used to kind of like, okay, yes,
and we can do this, and then I'll push through and do that. There's no
pushing through. You know, there's very. You've got
the dose. This is what. This is what you get to deal with, maybe, because
maybe it won't be there today. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Right. Yeah. And which is why, like, what you do, like,
stepping in with people and, like, having, you know, having an understanding, because, like, you.
We could make judgments on people because we don't know. We don't just don't. We
just don't. Well, we don't know. And also on that note, I want to hear
about Jaclyn's book, and then I do want to just kind of, like, have you
guys ask questions and wrap it up, because, Kara, I know you're. You are
on your. Your push. You're pushing for me tonight.
I know you are. So you don't look like it, but I know it. So.
Okay, so, Jaclyn, tell us about. And I want to see the COVID Let's see
this amazing cover of this book that says, not for sale.
Not for resale. Because this is the proof copy, right?
Yeah, it was funny, actually, because I got these two books
delivered from. For the podcast that I did yesterday, and
then I got this other delivery, and I'm like, oh, oh, my God, those are
my books. Like, that's mine. Like that. That, like. Like, that's
my name on it. It's like, you know, and Kira, as you know, it's like,
you see that and you're like, right, so.
So it's kind of the. The thing about this book that
I think is a little bit different is, is a lot of times when you'll
see a business book or a management
whatever, it's like a title with no. Kind of interesting, kind
of graphic. I mean, this could technically, you know, not that I put
some guy on here that looks like long, flowy hair. It could be like a
romance novel or anything. But, you know, we put the COVID
you know, it's. It's a little bit kind of funny. You know,
penguins have an incredible sense of direction and
know where they're going. And if you look, that penguin is nowhere where it should
ever be because it's on top of looking
at a vast valley. But it's. It's
really. It's charting. It's obviously, you can see it's charting true north. And this
is. It's what it's supposed
to be one of seven. So it's the first in a series of seven. It
took us, I think, my co author and I, I think we started
writing it or deciding we wanted to write a book
in January, and we were. We actually
pretty much had it done. But going
from the pages to
proofing it to get other people to read it, which we really wanted.
That process took a heck of a lot longer than we
anticipated. So, you know, learning lesson, like, have those
people lined up to keep the. The process going. But it's not
just your typical book filled. It's. It's actually a workbook.
So there's the first. First section
is, you know,
it's information, and then the second session is exercises.
And then there's journal prompts for you to actually write
and. And talk about and think about your leadership. And then there's
31 days of assessing yourself, like, with additional prompts
to write out, like, how are you in your leadership? How is your leadership
journey going? Where. Where are you on the emotional side? Where
are you with your values and your principles? So we
really wanted it to be something
that people grabbed and wrote
in and not just read, which is also why
it's, you know,
so it's as we have on here, it's like, for CEOs who
feel the tension between staying true to themselves and meeting the demands of leadership,
because we also, you know, part of that is that whole philosophy of
knowing where you are in your life, knowing what your
own personal values are and what your own personal mission is, and how
do you bring that into leadership and into the company that you're part of
or part of that team that you're building,
and how do you bring it out in others? Because that's the other key
part. Oops.
Oh, there it is.
This is our. This now for a dance party.
It got through because he's on do not
disturb. Oops. Do not disturb.
And no, I'm on a podcast.
It's like those personal things, like, you have, like, the person that you allow
to come through and you put it on do not disturb. It's my husband, so
I needed to have him online. Yeah, well,
you know, tell him we said hi. He deserves that.
So. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I appreciate and love you guys so much. And, Jaclyn, I'm
excited to read your new book. And. And we'll have links to
everything for everyone. And I. Nara Kara. I can almost feel that. I know
you're. You're. Because you're later than me right now. So we are on. We're on
three different time zones on this podcast right now. So we're on Pacific
time, central time, and Eastern time, which is super fun, and I love being
able to grab people from different parts of the country and, you know, talk through
things. So any last words for us of wisdom
you guys have as we. As we exit or Thoughts.
And if you're all out of thoughts, then you can actually just
dance.
Well, I. I would. My last word to people, like, just. Just
reflecting on, you know, this new venture for you. The healthy,
happy, wise, wealthy. I think a lot
of times, you know, life. Life is a lot,
and it's full of many adventures.
And, you know, sometimes when you've been.
Whether dealt a few hands or gone through some difficult things,
I think sometimes you can get in this, you know, state of
discouragement where you. You don't. You lose hope or you
feel powerless. And I think if
I could leave people with one word and all these beautiful conversations
that we've had around podcasting and writing and
coaching, the thing that I would. I would want people to remember
is no matter what has
happened in your life, there
is always agency
to. To get back on your feet and find
a way forward toward a
better space for you.
And, you know, that. That's why, you know, we
do what we do and, you know, we do it
differently or maybe with slightly different people, but people are people.
And, you know, whether you're working with life or business or whatever,
but there's always an action you can take
and, you know, get support because it's like
what we can do with support. It's like farther,
faster. You know, I. I do that in my own
life. I, you know, there are things that I know I can do on my
own, and there are things that I know I need support for this. I need
a higher support for this because, you know, I want to get
where I'm going, and I want someone who knows how to get me there
faster to help me along. So, yeah, there's
always something you can do to step in
and make your life, you know, a better place to be for
you. Yes. And I think, you
know, we've said this, alluded to it a couple times, but it's like we do
so much better together. And we. We. When we
know, like, even when we're talking about things that we're not the only one,
like, I'm not the only one. The amount of just healing,
just knowing that brings. Or knowing someone who's
like, really hears you and knows you, it's like, oh, my gosh, they. They.
Sometimes it feels almost shocking, but that just. That in and of itself is so.
And I. What I want to say, I guess also just adding to that parting,
Parting words, is that life is a journey, and we're all on a journey.
And that along with, like, stepping in is.
And creating that momentum, it's two steps. Like, we can take two steps to create
that momentum for what we are doing. It is a journey.
And that no matter. You know, no matter what
happens, you know, being. You know,
coming from that place of gratitude that we
are. We are living, we are moving forward
and, you know, doing, like, what Mary's doing, which
is just hit go right, and know that
it's. It's okay, you know? And we can. We can
reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly, but know
that there's always so. Something beautiful that you can learn from
it. Amen. And also, I wouldn't do this without
Erika. So it's, like, better together, right? And I don't think I'd be here without
either one of you, so. Better together. I
love you guys so much. Thank you for. Thank you so much for being here
for the first one. It just felt like exactly the right thing, and
I so appreciate and love you guys. And I'm gonna have you guys on again,
and I will talk to you probably a million times. Love you, Mary. Thank you
for having us. This was really sweet. It was really sweet.