Midlife Crisis versus Midlife Awakening

In this episode of "The Power Life" podcast, Sabine Schopke addresses the concept of a "midlife crisis" versus a "midlife awakening." Sabine shares her personal experience of uprooting her life from Los Angeles, selling her belongings, and moving to Europe. She discusses the misconceptions and criticisms she faced, such as being accused of experiencing a midlife crisis or suffering from empty nest syndrome.

Sabine rejects the notion of a midlife crisis, which she associates with selfish acts of desperation and attempts to chase youth. Instead, she views her actions as a midlife awakening, a period of profound personal growth and realignment with her true values. She emphasizes that her journey was not about turning back time but embracing the freedom and authenticity of her 50s, a time when she feels healthier and more confident than ever.

Throughout the episode, Sabine reflects on the importance of inner work and overcoming external judgments. She encourages listeners to pursue their own midlife awakenings by focusing on personal growth, self-discovery, and aligning their lives with their core values. Sabine provides practical advice on how to begin this journey, including journaling prompts available on her website to help identify one's dreams and aspirations.

Ultimately, Sabine's message is one of empowerment and transformation. She advocates for embracing the discomfort of personal growth to achieve a truly meaningful and fulfilling life, free from superficial distractions and societal pressures.

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When I started my journey last year of uprooting myself from Los Angeles, selling and giving away all my stuff, people would often say to me “oh this is your midlife crisis! You will be back.” Honestly, I did not like that. To me it seemed like such a shallow stupid thing to say. It was a little insulting. Not that I might not be back some day, but the whole crisis thing really bothered me.
I remember growing up, some of my parents’ friends had midlife crisis. It always involved a parent abandoning the rest of the family or spending unaffordable amounts of money on crazy ass cars. It was a selfish act. Implying that somebody had lost their mind. That they were scared to get old. An act of desperation. An act of chasing youth.
But I did not feel any of that. That wasn’t my motivation.
I honestly am not interested in turning back time. I have worked too hard to get to where I am today. For me, my 20s, 30s and 40s, were by no means as good as my 50s. Heck no, today I am free to be whatever and whoever I want to be. No excuses or validation needed. I am in better shape today and I feel way healthier than in my younger years. I had to earn all of this.
And I sincerely have zero insecurities being in my 50s. I know my worth. So I am not chasing youth.
I am not abandoning anybody either. My kids left the nest after they had graduated from high school. So, they left me actually.
That’s another thing people would say: Ohhhh…you are depressed because you are an empty nester now. Again, heck no! I am proud of my kids and how independent they were at already a young age. Go see the world!! Travel and work in different places on this globe!! So I wasn’t upset about them leaving, but I realized I was in a new chapter of MY life. I wasn’t needed anymore as a Mom, at least not the way they used to need me. And that was a double-sided sword. I loved it, because it gave me back my freedom, and I did not. But I knew that that was my problem. I had to redesign my life.
One of my neighbors in LA would start crying every time I saw her in the elevator. Because she missed her son so much after he went off for college. And a year later she was still crying. And that was not going to be me. Can you imagine the pressure and feelings of guilt on that poor kid. Come on. Birds leave the nest. It’s normal and healthy. The next chapter is up to us.
And then there were the comments about ego. God do I love those. Trying to make me feel bad about how lucky and privileged I am to be living in Europe. That’s a bunch of BS as well. Let me tell you the truth: if you live in any of the big expensive American cities. You can’t afford to not live in Europe. The cost of living in many European places is about 1/5 th of that of the US. And the lifestyles is nothing short of that of the US. In most places actually way better.
And, with regards to ego: I have downsized.
I minimized my life. There was no ego in this. Actually, the total opposite.
I went from my fancy and badass cars to a little hybrid.
I went from owning my own home near the beach to renting a humble little apartment in an old farmhouse in the mountains.
For sure no ego or privileged lifestyle there.
So it took me a while to put a definition on what exactly was going on here. Of redefining my midlife moves and actions. So away from the midlife crisis definition.
But, I had to go through the messy first few months. It was messy, because it was painful. Detaching from things and people – from life as I knew it – it was hard. It was lonely. It still is. But I feel differently today.
I no longer doubt my sanity. I know why I did what I did and I know it was the right thing to do. Hands down.
No matter what people say, there is no more guilt or shame here.
As a matter of fact, when you choose the inner work over complaining and negativity about your unhappiness. Or you choose getting to the essence of what you are and what you really want instead of distracting yourself with alcohol or shopping therapy from your unhappiness or emptyness. Or you choose to peel back the layers of distractions and bandaids over adding another layer, you are signing up for the much more uncomfortable and lonely path, but the one that holds much greater rewards at the end.
And I know today, that that uncomfortable process, that storm, eventually settles down and what you are left with is pure beautiful growth. A life that is truly meaningful and fulfilling. Not an unhappy life that is held together with superficial and artificial and fleeting moments of happiness.
It is not a midlife crisis. It is a midlife awakening.
An awakening, where you realign with YOUR values. And all I can say is: screw everybody else. Let them complain and be complacent. And most likely, whatever they say to you is out of envy anyways.
Because as it turned out, and I think I mentioned this before in one of my previous podcasts, when I went back to LA in April for a visit, a lot of the naysayers had changed their tune. They went from telling me what a big mistake I was making to ‘’I wish I could do what you did.” Interesting, right?! They had wished they could do what I did all along.
So here is my definition of a midlife crisis versus a midlife awakening:
A midlife crisis is chasing youth. In contrast, a midlife awakening is healing the broken parts within, leading to a life transformed. It combines the wisdom of experience with the freedom, the joy, and the wonder found in our restored selves.
Like I said, it’s not an easy process, but it is a simple choice. If you feel an emptiness, a void. If you are asking yourself: is this it? Who am I? Who was I before I was everything to everybody else? I don’t know where to start or which direction to take. If any of this sounds or feels familiar, choose the digging instead of the complaining and trying to cover it up.
How do you do that?
I understand that not everybody can do what I did. And everybody’s circumstances are different. But I often find that people do use their circumstances as an excuse. Ask yourself: are my circumstances as rigid as they seem or are they just a big mountain that I am intimidated by? Legal issues will stop you. But your fear of the unknown shouldn’t .
Start at the beginning though. Have a look at your values, your dreams, your aspirations. Do you know what those are? They will be different today than they were 10, 20 or 30 years ago. If you need help with any of that, go to my website at www.ThePowerLifeCoach.com and download my freebie. It’s 60 journaling prompts that I have used myself to figure out what exactly it was that I wanted. It will be very helpful for you to get some guidance on establishing or re-establishing your core values, and the sticky points, the things that you are not so happy with.
Honestly, clarity is everything. Especially when starting a journey. We need to know where we are going. Otherwise we’ll be lost right from the start.
The initial clarity work will outline your path for you. You will see. Things will become really apparent. And don’t let the expectations or fears of others hold you back. It is your life. When you lay down at night, whether you are single or laying next to somebody, you are alone with your thoughts. Hold yourself accountable for your choices. Because you are also the one who you need to blame for for the regrets. Nobody else will take responsibility for those either.
So,…, get started and let me know if you have any questions at all. I am here and I would love to hear from you and support you. Helping others is my passion and purpose in this life. So let me help you.
Wishing you an amazing week ahead. And remember, let it be a midlife awakening. Where you live a renewed life, integrating the wisdom of your years with the freedom, joy, and wonder of your rediscovered and restored self. Doesn’t that feel amazing? Take care, until next week!