Scott Intro 00:06
Welcome to the we got your sixth podcast sponsored by the 99 Legacy Fund and the West Point Class of 1999. Here we share our stories and exchange information to let each other know there's always a good enough reason to be here tomorrow, we want to remind you that you're not alone in your struggle. We got your six. Now, here's your host, and friend of the class of 99. Phillip Nathan.
Phillip K. Naithram 00:32
Yeah. Well, Matt Kuntz, thank you so much for being here on the we got your six podcast.
Matt Kuntz 00:37
Thanks. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Phillip K. Naithram 00:41
Yeah, man, I'm excited to talk to you, we've had a couple opportunities to connect on different calls. And I think we've had it pretty well on the last one, just talking about what it was like, what happened and what it's like now. And, and you're obviously you know, your class of 99 graduates. And we're doing this on behalf of class of 99 at West Point, and just trying to be of service just trying to continue to be of service to other people sharing our stories of, you know, what we went through and, and what we learned from that I was so wrong about a lot of things that I thought along the idea of depression and mental health and alcoholism and what it meant and what it meant about me and my definition of certain things. And all of that's changed. And it's opened up so much more space for me to get help, and also to be helpful to others. And I know that you have a similar path. So I'm really excited that you're joining us today and that you're going to be here to share your story with us. Yeah, so,
Matt Kuntz 01:42
so important.
Phillip K. Naithram 01:45
Yeah. So I mean, right away, I like to kind of talk to people, like if someone's listening, and they haven't already met you, which hopefully they have. Right. But why let's just start from the beginning. Like, do you come from a military family? Like, why did you wind up in the army in the first place? And even outside of that, why West Point?
Matt Kuntz 02:04
Yeah, so I've never done anything super standard. My goal was to kind of stay in my little hometown, in Montana, and, you know, coach football at the local college. And then I got in trouble a couple times in high school, and I was like, Okay, I'm out of trouble. You know, small towns are great until you get on the other side of them, you know, and then I thought, Okay, I'll join the army. And I sat down to enlist for Ranger Battalion. And my dad was like, hey, you know, everybody in our family pretty much gets somebody pregnant at 19. And there's nothing in his track record that suggests he's gonna break any, any mold there. You know, and, and what if that happens, and the recruiter was really honest, and said, you know, that that happened, me, and it made it so then I was really hard for me because of life's circumstances, to go be an officer to go do go back to school, do a lot of those things. So Westpoint was recruiting me for wrestling at the time, and there'd been a few other guys in my school that I went to, and so that was a direction that my parents strongly suggested after they were worried that I would just totally crash in the other direction, in very obvious ways. You know, so, yeah, that I was like the last person in our class. You know, I got approved right before our day. And you know, it just wasn't really something I had dialed in before and it really worked out. I'm glad that I made that journey out to New York and join a class at 99 but there was nothing standard about
Phillip K. Naithram 04:21
What position do you play when you're playing football?
Matt Kuntz 04:25
I played left guard for football. Rugby ended up being my position. So so we had a really, really small team when I was in high school and we just pulled everybody it was like a team of full of blocking fullbacks and ended up working but I was really grateful to end up on that rugby team and I just got so many amazing friends through armor, rugby and still to this day, you know, so Some of the people that have supported me the most throughout my life, have been in a classic 99 rugby team. Yeah,
Phillip K. Naithram 05:09
Did you? And I guess, were you always a sports person? Like, do you look back on that time as a kid and see, like, where does that still show up in your life today that competitive nature or just the way I look at it, I played sports. And really, it wasn't even necessarily about the competition, it was about learning how to be really bad at something until you can get good at something, or realize that there's other people that are like, just have a different, like, you have to work towards getting on the team. And if you want to start, you can be on the team and not be a starter and just kind of like that mindset. Does that still ring out to you?
Matt Kuntz 05:45
It really helped me channel like, I wasn't the happiest little kid and, you know, wrestling from fives, swim team at five, football, all that stuff all the way through. It was really good for me. You know, in high school, I swam and wrestled at the same time, which was like six hours of practice a day. And that was the highest grade point ever because my brain was calm. Yeah, like it was so exhausting, that it was just like, hey, all of the extra stimuli that I need, I'm getting, you know, and I think it was really good. For me, I've had to make sure and work with my competitiveness. You know, I think that everybody that gets into West Point, everybody that goes to law school, you know, like, it's, they're just gutters by definition, you know, and it's, it's good. But I need to make sure that I channel it, and that it doesn't overtake me. You know, I have areas of law that I focused on. I was really thoughtful about making sure that I didn't just end up in a competition with the other side, because I go pretty deep on that stuff. So
Phillip K. Naithram 07:09
yeah, did you ever get sort of self critical about beating yourself up? Because you want to be so competitive, or you want to be better? That internal voice?
Matt Kuntz 07:17
Yeah, just for sure. You know, for me a big part of things with West Point was, you know, staying with my class, you know, staying with the rest of the infantry officers as we moved through. And I think that that's a huge, huge part of it for all of us, you know, that there's a don't fail, you know, and, and how you handled it, how you manage it. And, you know, I think it was a big part of, I always live with depression, I always had, like, the first lie that I told at West Point was on the initial screening. Have you ever thought about killing yourself? And like, oh, I can't tell a lie. So yes. And then they took me to the back of the auditorium. And they say, if you say yes to this, you don't get to stay here. Are you sure that you mean? Yes. Like, Oh, you mean that I mean, no. So that right away was to stay with the class, stay with the group, you know, move forward. And be the person Westpoint in the army expects you to be in and that this nation deserves for its investment in you. So I think that whatever self critical or like the drive that I had, combined with that, you know, it was an interesting combination. And one that I've kind of tried to help the military with a little bit through legislation and other things to face the reality that we are all people and we all have our in the same way that my ankle just was not good. Like it wasn't wasn't going to do the things that the military wanted me to do. There's other parts of our brain health or other things that can really impact that. So yeah, I think that that was part of it. I know. When I got hurt in Ranger School. It was pretty clear that something was really really wrong. You know, it turned out it did have a little bit of a joint condition at the beginning. And yeah, a great place to find out that you have bad joints is Ranger School. Good Well, yeah, tell them to pack and a machine gun. You'll find it. Yeah.
Phillip K. Naithram 10:07
Yeah. Well tell that story. I mean, so you're, you're a West Point graduate. And then what happens?
Matt Kuntz 10:13
Yeah, so as an infantry officer, jump school infantry officer basic course. And then in Ranger School, where my squad got recycled the first time. So we stayed there and plugged through it. And I figured out this genius thing because I had realized I'm bad at things, you know, I'm creative things, and I'm bad at things. And I was really bad at landmass, like, just flat out, couldn't find my way in any direction, but I could carry anything, you know, like a, like a mule. And. And so I said, Okay, I have all these little guys running around, they can find themselves anywhere, they're great Atlanta of all just carry all of our squad stuff. And, it worked flawlessly until it did. And then I was coming down at Mount de LaLiga. And, you know, I was carrying a machine gun and I had a bunch of the rounds. I mean, like, as much as we could stack on me, we did, and it just blasted my ankle out. And because of that kind of joint condition, it didn't get better. Like it was supposed to, you know, like with Ehlers Danlos, which is the condition. And now the mild form of it, but your stuff is just a little bit too stretchy, to do, how it's supposed to respond after surgery and stuff. So it was one of those things where you're on track, and doing everything that you're supposed to. And then boom, you're a failure. Like, everything you've worked for, everything that you've pushed for your vision of yourself, all of that is imploded, and it's done. And you have certain my underlying depression, just waiting for that to just like, hey, I've been driving you forward all the way through this workout of working on these things together. But now that you're not going to be able to keep up with your classmates, you're not going to be able to be the same kind of officer that you thought you're in, boom, now you're not even going to be an officer. And anymore, you can't do what you need to do. Because surgery didn't work, you know, all of that stuff was really heavy for me. And I started writing at the time, and that was something that I played around with before. But I started writing my first book at the time. And that was one way of managing. But as I got deeper and deeper into the actual reality of the separation for the military, and what that meant, for everything I've been working on. It wasn't enough, you know, especially when I finished that book, and I pulled my head up was some really dark, dark times, I think because of that depression, because I was such a basket case over having everything crash, you know, plus plenty of other relationships in my life weren't flowering at the time, you know, it's just just like how that's the sad thing about you know, that combination of depression. And in a real life circumstance, it is impactful. I mean, anybody would have been hurt by that, anybody would have had their dreams crushed by that, especially in the class of 99. You know, we were going after it, you know, that was what we were doing and people were succeeding and then to be on the other side of that success line. It was heavy. And there was no way out of it. And I think that was when that environmental circumstance hit my underlying depression. And things got really hairy.
Phillip K. Naithram 14:54
Yeah, well, I want to talk a little bit about your stepbrother and then you know, I want to talk about you. Your experience in Hawaii really kind of pulled that thread so that anyone was listening? You know, again, we want to talk about what it feels like when we're doing it, when we're thinking about it, and then what it's like afterwards because sometimes we don't know what we don't know.
Matt Kuntz 15:14
You know, so, for me, the irrationality of suicide has become so important. And I've counseled people, I talk to people from around the country that lost loved ones, and to help them understand that, like, a functioning brain doesn't want to die. A working brain doesn't want to die. You know, I got I. When I nearly took my life that day, you know, like, I was overwhelmed. It was like your vision narrows and tightens and all you have is that psychological pain and you can't do anything else. And psychological pain is exactly the same neural circuits in your brain as physical pain, you know, it's no different in intensity than having your arm on fire, you know, it's like an overwhelming push, and you can't go any further. And it's no different for a 20 year old in the army, than somebody that's 75 and struggling from chronic pain. Um, it's interesting, it's the same reason. Is that overwhelming? Psychological pain, and you know, that was one of the things I would do if there was rationality 30 miles away from amazing beaches. Like going to the beach, you've always enjoyed looking at pretty girls in bikinis. Today will be another one of those days when you like that, you know, and then like you like, freediving was everything for me. So instead I was on this shady little, cheap launch Arif furniture from Walmart, and with a noose, and there was nothing rational about you know, like, there was just that overwhelming, I can't take this. And it's wild, because you can see that a little bit through your lens, but then when you lose other loved ones. It's hard. It's hard to see it, you end up blaming them and blaming yourself for what you didn't do. I mean, like, no one in the world could have saved me that day. I walked out of my unit and said nothing intentional. Okay. And like I said all my goodbyes in like, the same tone of voice, the same of everything as every other day. You know, but I was on a horrible trajectory. So that's part of the difficulty. Think but but it's important. My point when we're talking about our classmates or anybody else that we've lost, it's not rational. You know, it's not not your brain. doing its best. It's not your brain functioning as best I mean, our brains are amazing. I love it now, but man when it gets dark, like it's deadly. Yeah. Yeah,
Phillip K. Naithram 18:41
that feeling of overwhelming, like impending doom, right? We're not sure exactly. Just that feeling of that sense of impending doom. It's all falling down. And it's happening right now. It's very suffocating and crushing. And it's, you know, the mind just starts to race. And it's on to the next. The next thought, the next thought, the next thought, and all of them are bad. And we're just intensifying it, we're authorizing everything in our mind. But we don't even realize we're doing that. We think, you know, I remember when I was there. I felt like that was the rational choice for the best of everyone. Like, this is what I have to do, because it will make things better. Even in that moment. I was, I thought I was caring about other people. I didn't realize I was caring about what they thought about me, which, you know, is the self centered He
Matt Kuntz 19:27
lies to you. Your mental health condition puts a filter over your brain. If the symptoms are cranking that much, you can't get out of it. I mean, like it is, it is just like trying to think your way out of a heart attack. You know, like, like, I'm sorry. That's not how it works. You know, and it's funny because a lot of people on my phone line and suicides won't tell me where they are and there is no way to get on. I think I'm just going to hear a gunshot on the other end of the line. And, you know, in rural Montana where there's nothing, even if I knew where they were, you know, like, there's nothing to stop them right then and, like, I'll just like, hey, go take off all your clothes and jump in a snowbank. Yeah. And it's hilarious because it breaks that neural circuit, that's fire. It's just so bizarre.
Phillip K. Naithram 20:33
Yeah, it stops that amygdala hijack. You know,
Matt Kuntz 20:37
like, for me, one of the things I do for my mental health is 30. And I'm sorry, it's 10 backflips into really cold water. And I am really bad at backflips. And it's just like 10 hurries, horrendous belly flops and really cold water. And, you know, it's like, like a seal in the circus, you know, there's nothing, there's nothing spelled or acrobatic about it. But it breaks that cycle in my head, you know, and allows the clarity of reality to come back. And I know, one of the guys that I've worked with, jumped off the San Francisco bridge, and survived. And that's what he said was that moment of clarity, came back after he cleared the bridge. And that was when the filter of the depression of anxiety lifted. And it was there. I mean, I have one friend that died of treatment resistant depression. And I had saved him at a whitewater river boarding thing like six months beforehand, maybe eight months beforehand. And I pulled him from that Whitewater, his clear blue eyes looked up at me. And there was no doubt that he wanted to live with every ounce of his being, you know, it was like grabbing him and bringing him to shore. And then we lost him to suicide. Eight months later, and it was just like, I saw how bad he wanted to live. But that depression overtook him. Yeah, that and for him, it was treatment resistant depression, it was as gnarly as it gets. Nothing was touching it. So yeah, it's it's, it's intense. And like, Well, it's interesting, like you said, where you think it's all rational from your side, like, I didn't understand how irrational it was, until after I lost my stepbrother. When he came back from Iraq back in March 2007, we lost him, and everything was pretty hard around that. And I was in the Nami Family to Family Class. And that was when there was just something that clicked for me about irrationality. You know, that brain aced mental health condition really made it so hard to save them, you know, there, there had to be real help. There had to be something else to break that circuit. Or, you know, I might be able to break it that day, but how to break it long term, you know, so the PTS, Pts would lift and allow them to have a better life. It was that irrationality was not something that I got, I mean, even at the time I was acting like I was working with somebody whose brain was functioning on all cylinders. That was wrong. It was unfair for him. Fair for me, cuz it wasn't. He wasn't well, and he wasn't able to navigate his life in the way that he wanted to. Yeah, there was just too much pain. Yeah.
Phillip K. Naithram 24:46
Well, having that experience, as well as your own. I mean, we've just talked a little bit about, you know, the amygdala hijack, how it's so intense, and it takes something to get us out of that. Usually it's extra All right, and there are daily practices like I take cold showers and, and I was a fan of Wim Hof. And it started as this thing, right. And it was something hard to do. And every morning, I start my morning by doing something opposite of what I want to do, what my comfort zone is or what I want to be doing, because at some point throughout the day, I'm gonna have to do something I don't want to do, and I'm training my brain. But what I didn't realize was that for those moments, when I'm in that cold water, I'm centered I'm present, it's, you can only do that in the present, you can only belly flop into cold water in the present, you can only take off all your clothes and jump out into the snow. And it brings you back into that it takes a break from that amygdala hijack that's running.
Matt Kuntz 25:42
And Brennan can only focus on one thing at a time. And that is part of it is like, okay, my depression or my anxiety or however might want to grab that focus like, it's mine. It's hilarious, because it's physical, biological, like it's, yeah, it's something that, you know, the people, the neurosurgeons work on.
Phillip K. Naithram 26:08
And look at it, it could be I've told the story again, for me, like, I was ready to go, had everything all set up. And I had that thought that, hey, you know what, today's Wednesday, and I don't want to die without seeing the season finale of Law and Order SVU, that one trivial little thing. And I think that was that. I believe that higher power, that moment of grace, that space that crack where the light can come through that one thing it was like, Alright, we're gonna wait. I never even saw the episode. And I couldn't even I haven't watched it in years. It wasn't, you know, it turned out. But that was just that one thing. And I know that you have an experience where you were ready, and you want to and just, you know, and then there was this other opportunity for you where, you know, we kind of dug into that when we were chatting the other day, I'd love to hear you tell that story?
Matt Kuntz 26:51
Yeah. Because I think it's important. For me, you know, my faith, life has always been important, you know, might not always be the best behaved, Catholic, you know, everybody and, yeah, there's a million different ways that I fall down. But it's always been important in that, like, personal relationship with the divine was, you know, just part of what, what I did every day. And then at that point, when I was that far down, and that overwhelmed. It was, it was bad. But I was like, A, I sat on the stairs. I was like, God, sorry. You got five minutes. Like you got five minutes or 10 minutes. I can't remember. To turn this around, because I can't, I can't do this anymore. Yeah, that overwhelming impact on my brain was just that train was on the tracks. I couldn't stop it. And so as they're on, chairs, and you know, get the news all ready, and everything on that hallway upstairs. And I remember that, yes, I kind of had this inside the beer for a while. It's the 29th of the month, probably things aren't going to be very good for you know, for a couple of weeks. There's nobody here for me, nobody, nobody really tracking me. And it's like, I gotta pay my rent. And I've been looking for a check stub for like a week, I got USAA. And I was down to my last set of checks. And I thought the checks were out. And I went and looked at it one more time and I found this one check in like the middle third of the checkbook and wrote it out and then went across the street to drop off the rent. And there was a native Hawaiian man that was there. And you never want to talk to me before. I said hi, a few things. But there really is a rift between the native Hawaiian community and kind of the white military folks that are there. You know, it's a colonialism rift. It's, it's real. It's way, way deeper than me and him, you know. And that day, he was crying. And I asked him if he needed anything. And that broke my attention. And he ended up telling me a story about divorcing the love of his life. He talked for like an hour and a half. And it was killing him, you know, he had kids, she didn't want to be with him anymore. You know, it was just a horrible, hard thing. And I talked with them for an hour and a half. And by that point, the focus had gone somewhere else, the focus had been channeled into helping somebody. And I came back, and I said, Not today, you know, and I didn't, it didn't really alter anything, I kind of threw the rope up in the rafters, so I didn't like walking around it. But helping people was a big part of how I fought my depression at that time. And I realized that I needed to make room for that. And like, and I had done it before, I think it's always been a part of who I am. But I realized this has to be more structured. Because doing only when it works for me, isn't enough. So so just everything to take that focus from the depression, on you know, that focus in my brain and that power over my brain to do the things I want to do with it. Be there for the people I want to be there for instead of having it narrow me, you know, because I I believe now that my depression is a gift. It's an amazing gift, I have this brain that can like, perceive the rate of things, dwell on things and like, I can think of something 1000 More times than a normal person can, like that is the gift that I have. And if I feed that brain things to work on. It's like a computer mining Bitcoin or something, you know, I like something's gonna pop out of it. Like, after intentionally working on myself and working on my day and working on my family and like, make sure my sleep dialed in. And I use this electric thing at night to help calm my thoughts down a little bit so I can get to sleep better, you know, like that. I, I am able to say like, I do really appreciate this brain that I have. And it's generations of family. Have that? And really be at peace with it now and not use it every day.
Phillip K. Naithram 32:59
Yeah, I mean, what I hear you saying is that you recognize how your experience can benefit others, you can be of service to them, which fills you up and gives you that feeling of fulfillment. But not only that, you see how you can help others and teach them those simple practices. What I found is that it's it's, it's very simple, but not easy. Sometimes practices that we do to manage our mental health, we know that we're going to have these thoughts that pop up throughout the day. So we take time to do it, we make sure we manage our sleep, and we do certain morning routines and evening routines. And I've worked with others. A lot. I know you're a big contributor to Nami, you know, but I'd like to, I'd like to hear from you. Like if someone is struggling, and they're feeling like they're relating to some of the things we talked about or what it was like when those feelings were going on when those emotions were in our head and those thoughts and those ideas. What would you say the first step for them should be like, what should they do? And, you know, really give us some ideas of what you thought about what you thought about those ideas. And, you know, when people were saying you should get help, I was like, I don't need help. I'm gonna figure this out. Like, you know, I thought a healthy adult was someone who solved all their own problems. What's different about your mindset around how you see mental health and what were those first couple of things that you did? Looking back, you're really grateful for that. Without doing those, you wouldn't be able to be this person with this message that you have to help others.
Matt Kuntz 34:30
For so hard I do think to start out you know, if you're really struggling with suicidality, call nine eight, you know, talk to somebody I've I've talked to or if you're worried about someone call 988. I've, I've talked to them in the middle of saving a friend's life before and it was helpful. You know, that wasn't exactly what I was hoping to hear. They didn't solve it. everything, but you know, they're different varieties of mental health to like, I don't want to pretend like it's all solvable, you know, like, I have friends that they had something that was so impossible to treat the room just lucky to have them for as long as we did, you know, there are varieties of how you treat this. And varieties and what works for people, you know, like, I've been fortunate with my depression during the teen staying away from substances, like my daily routine, just rock solid, I don't miss. I don't miss it, any of it every day, like that's mandatory on both the morning side and the evening side. How I structure my career. And then but I did, I think, you know, when I talked to them, I had spoken at a conference at a social worker conference, and they gave me a chance to use it as an alpha stim device, which almost nobody uses . I don't think it works for almost anybody else. But it happened to be for me, for my version of depression, and insomnia, really, really helped, you know, and it was something that I had to admit to my wife at the time that this is what I'm going to be doing now. You know, hopefully, everybody that loves me is cool with it. And they were really supportive. But that was something I was like, Okay, I, if I'm going to be a father, if I'm going to be a husband, if I'm going to be a great employee or a leader, I need to manage this stuff, and I need to get help when I need it. Also, I need to give myself permission to realize that sometimes something's going to be bad. You know, I'm going to have a bad week, where I'm not going to be myself, my output is not going to be there. And I promise you, my work knows that my good weeks are worth it. Like my, my good weeks, my good months, I can do things that nobody else can do. But it comes with the down week it comes with, you know, when the weather changes around here. In the summertime, we're in the springtime, we lose a lot of people to suicide on the Rocky Mountain Front. Something about the Bert, barometer shift that, like all kinds of everything, nobody really understands it, but that hits me every single spring and my, my wife knows it's coming and you know, like my, like, my work knows there's going to be downtime, but guess what? I'll be back. And I just need to be patient with myself with those downtimes you know, if it starts getting too gnarly, you know, dial up some extra help. Sure. Yeah, I mean that for people that need medication for their type, or there's people that use T TMS or ketamine, and I mean, whatever, whatever works for your type of brain health condition. Go and get the care because I guess the one thing that I'll say is, you know, I came to this through my own suicidality, but also from losing my stepbrother. I've lost it when once you get in this community, you're with so many fragile people, that you lose them, you lose some of them, you can't save them all. I'm just saying, please stay. Please keep going. Please do whatever you can because for those of us left behind, it's so hard. And we grow through it, we grow around it, but we never get over it. You know, and I guess that will be like, do your best to try to head off those symptoms as they start getting deep and then when your loved ones are begging you have to go get help. Do it for them. Not for yourself. Because I know sometimes that part of yourself that can reach out for help. might not be functioning at that time. No. But the part of yourself that can reach out and help your loved one, it still is, for me, the part of myself that was able to reach out and help that neighbor that was crying on the street, still worked. Not part of myself saved my life long with the entity that put it all in place. So yeah.
Phillip K. Naithram 40:34
Yeah. Well, Matt, listen, I really appreciate you being here with us. I mean, you know, your story is pretty powerful. I know, you're, you're a published author, you're doing a lot of work, a lot of great work with with NAMI and stuff now, but you know, and I really appreciate you sharing that you wouldn't change anything about any part of your life, because without it, you wouldn't be the person you are today. Because that's a you know, that's a big deal. I look back on my own experience. And I feel the same way at the time, it was, it was hard, and it felt like the walls were closing in, but now, I wouldn't change this. I'm proud of the person I am. I'm really grateful I had that experience, because it taught me how to be this guy.
Matt Kuntz 41:13
You get past it, and through it, and some people don't, but I know. Like, I can do like three big bills in Congress, and I got two other ones. And then like the dad, all that stuff is like, man, that brain could do that, you know, patterns and all that have to manage the downside, you know, and, and I think that that's the reality is that brain is just like any other part of our body, like I overstressed my ankles. And I found out the hard way that hey, that machine gun and carrying all that ammunition and like over every day, that's a dumb idea, like that way. And you have to give your brain the same respect as your ankles or your knees, your back or the rest of you.
Phillip K. Naithram 42:17
Yeah. Well, thanks so much for being here with us.
Scott outro 42:26
Thank you for listening to the We got your six podcast where we are on a mission to end veteran suicide. If you're struggling with thoughts of hopelessness or suicide, please reach out to family friends, a classmate or call or text the number 988 for immediate help. We are here for you. And we want you to be here with us tomorrow. If you have a story to share on this podcast, please email us at admin at nine nine legacy fund.org. The we got your six podcast is production of the West Point Class of 1999 and the 99 Legacy Fund. The podcast is hosted by Philip Naithram and produced by Brendan Wallace, with technical production by Scott Bronikowskiski. If you would like to make a tax deductible donation towards the 99 legacy funds mission to support the survivors of our fallen please visit WWW.99legacyfund.org to donate with duty in mind