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Welcome to "No F**ks Given," where we redefine menopause as a superpower. Hosted by Holly Lamb, a women's health coach, who is navigating early menopause. This podcast offers empowering guidance on women's health and navigating perimenopause with confidence. From nutrition tips to fitness advice and mindfulness practices, we cover it all. But here's the twist: it's all about embracing your most authentic, unapologetic self. We're here to help you reclaim your power, say goodbye to societal norms, and live life on your own terms—no f**ks given. Welcome to the revolution!
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the No Fucks Given podcast with me, your host Holly Lamb. This week I'm joined by
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (01:29.644)
Okay.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (01:45.356)
You gotta leave that in. Do you want me to help you? Holly Lamb is your podcast host for today on the No Fucks Given podcast and her special guest today is Alia. Carry on, put it away. You're on it.
Holly Lamb (01:47.256)
god, my -
Holly Lamb (01:56.536)
Alia, Alia, thank you, Alia. My mind went blank before, I don't know why. Alia, welcome to the podcast. Alia is a mindset and menstruality coach and she's also a retreat leader. She holds these amazing retreats all over the world. So you need to go to her retreats because they're amazing. And I've also been told that she makes a mean frittata and some amazing mocktails. I don't know, I don't know.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (02:01.9)
I
Loom!
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (02:17.579)
I'm going to go to bed.
I don't know who told you that. I am a wee bit nervous, I'm not going to lie. This is the first podcast I've ever been on and it's very exciting to hear you introduce me as the way I've always, I say always, but in the recent years just fantasised about finally leaving corporate and being in this
Holly Lamb (02:27.032)
So welcome, how are you today?
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (02:50.122)
little world, this menstruality mindset community building world and just to hear it back just sounds really yummy today actually that's actually how I feel yeah.
Holly Lamb (03:00.152)
I love that. And that's so amazing. And it's such a beautiful space to be in as we both know. But what kind of got you into this journey of helping other women and I guess helping yourself in the first instance?
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (03:14.217)
Yeah, that's such a loaded question, isn't it? And like when I was listening to your other podcast, I was like, my God, when it comes to my turn, how am I going to answer? Because I wish I could say like, well, you know, like I had this life changing moment and I don't think it was, it was like that. And it also was like super organic as well. So, you know, I come from a background of really deep corporate work.
Yes, so like 16 years in really high pressure advertising, branding, marketing, communications, TV production work. That was like my whole life. And it was my life for a very long time. And I thought it was something that suited my personality because, you know, when you have this kind of natural ability to create community and be kind of like a, almost like a spokesperson, you get kind of corralled into.
jobs that are around PR or marketing or communications and that just naturally felt like that's where I should be going because I didn't realize there was any other alternative that you could do that in a more holistic way and I just got burnt out honestly I just got burnt out I worked in TV production for I was a producer for a few years which I absolutely loved my team and I loved
the camaraderie on set and I loved being on location and I loved all that sort of thing. And I hated the 16 hour days and being away from home and living out of a suitcase and that sort of thing. And then I moved to the client side and got a kind of high flying marketing job and I thought that I loved that because that gave me more stability and sort of on paper looked like more income for less hours and that sort of thing. And again, I just found myself burnt out again.
And, you know, in parallel, I'm running to all of that is my personal life, which is really keeps on coming to life over and over again, or being reborn over and over again. I've always had like a deep sense of like needing to reach out for a higher calling and trying to find avenues for that in my own corporate world and my own corporate life, like creating did mindful Mondays in my office, which I think I briefly chatted to you about on our on our first chat.
Holly Lamb (05:30.808)
Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (05:35.366)
And it was just, you could come drop by my office on a Monday in your lunch hour and do some Pranayama work with me. Or I would like, you know, organize these breast cancer awareness days. Not part of my job scope. I just was like desperately looking for something deeper in my work that was community based, that was really reaching out to the people behind the job titles. And it's sort of various things like that.
Holly Lamb (05:43.416)
Hehehe
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (06:03.59)
And I also organized dance and empowerment workshops here in Kuwait that I would work together with a wonderful, incredible dance company in London called Heels and Feels. And I contacted their founder who just really trusted me and came out and we hosted monthly workshops where I would bring different teachers from her dance company out here to teach heels dance. And then we would have these kind of women's empowerment circles afterwards and talk about how great we felt.
after doing this dance and showing up and really embodying a lot of femininity. And I was kind of doing that in parallel to all my work. So I was getting up, you know, doing this corporate life and then on the weekends, kind of living for when I could do something that felt really truly me. And...
Then I realised that everything else was not making me unhappy, because nothing can make you unhappy without your permission, of course, but I wasn't finding fulfilment in the things that were supposed to be giving me fulfilment. I was finding more fulfilment in what was essentially like a side project, not even a side hustle, because these weren't moneymaker things for me. This was purely out of... This gives me so much joy, and I could see the impact it was having on these women that I'm still in contact with today.
And yeah, you know, and then that coupled together with my own therapy journey, which brought up so much. And then later on down the line, discovering menstruality as a thing. I didn't even know that was a thing. You know, it's not like I just, you're the same, right?
Holly Lamb (07:41.912)
Yeah, yeah, didn't know until I dove into it. Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (07:44.709)
Yeah, I didn't know it was a thing. I didn't know it was something that I could really sink my teeth into. It was this massive homecoming for me to realise that this...
intangible spiritual side of myself that I'd largely been ignoring because I didn't want to be a caricature of myself. I didn't want to be mistaken ever for, and there's no shade here at all, but this is just my own personal thing. I didn't ever want to be mistaken for the crystal cacao crowd people. And I mean that with no shade, with a lot of love, like whatever your journey is, it's your journey. But I just was so protective of, I don't want to be.
Holly Lamb (08:06.2)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (08:26.562)
put in that niche because I don't understand it all and what if people think that what I'm talking about is similar to that and it was kind of like just dealing with my own prejudice with that myself. Then when I came into menstruality I was like this is the great denominator between all women. Whether or not you're cycling, okay, whether or not you're menstruating, because this is the big part, right? Menstruality is...
Holly Lamb (08:37.144)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (08:52.61)
the great denominator between all women, whether or not you're having a period, you're not having a period, you've had a hysterectomy, you are in perimenopause, you're in menopause, this thing links us all because as women we are cyclical and you cannot deny it, regardless of where you are on that spectrum. And this kind of like blew my mind and yeah, when I found that there was ways to study this and literature that backed this and...
you know, ancient texts that supported this. I kind of just went down this rabbit hole of just finding my voice and my space and menstruality over and over again. And I love it. I really, really, really am a huge advocate for just getting to know it and practicing awareness. And the beautiful thing about it is that we're all experts in our own cycle. Like there's nothing that I can tell you that's going to help you know your cycle anymore. I can just sort of shed light on different bits, but
Holly Lamb (09:41.24)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (09:48.161)
actually you're an ex, all women are experts on this subject and we can all learn from one another and that it's just yeah I love it I love it so much.
Holly Lamb (09:58.04)
I can tell, I can sense the passion from you. It's deeply ingrained in that. So true what you said about every woman is the master of their own cycle. If they tap into themselves and start to understand and learn what their cycle is telling them about themselves, because there's lots of layers. And we met through the Red School Menstruality Leadership Program, which is amazing. And it's not just for women in this space, it's for every woman.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (10:16.575)
Yeah.
Mm.
Holly Lamb (10:27.544)
you can just do it to understand yourself more. It's such an amazing program that they only run once a year. And it's been such an eye -opener for me, because obviously going into early menopause, having issues with my cycle, it's given a more, it's given a deeper understanding about my cycle, but also about me, like to understand me more, which is amazing. Like how tapping into your cycle can unveil things about yourself is...
pretty fucking amazing.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (10:58.431)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's that's why when I was kind of like in this sort of path of like, okay, how do you name yourself? How do you create the niche? How do you know all this stuff that they tell you that you've got to be doing when you're starting your own coaching business or you're trying to take your service off, you know, just talking to people about what it is that you do and then crafting a service and a an offering that actually supports people. And then you can't separate.
menstruality, right, which is kind of like a new word, okay? Auto correct will always put it up with a little red line underneath, like this is not a word, and I'm like, well, I think you'll find it is actually. But like menstrual living, menstruality and mindset, you can't separate the two. You just can't, right? Because there's this idea that, of course, where our cycle is just the days that we bleed, or it's the few days before when we experience, you know, some mood swings and some PMS or some cramping, and then when we bleed.
And that's it. And actually like you're cycling from the first period that you have and literally until the day that you depart this vessel and move into another plane, right? So into perimenopause, in menopause, after menopause, you don't get to opt out of cycling, right? And even when you're on birth control, all of that stuff, you don't have a disconnect from the natural affinity to...
Holly Lamb (12:09.208)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (12:25.853)
the greater power that holds you and that could be, you can say that's the moon, you can say that's the earth or the universe or just, we're all operating on seasons and seasons of life and ages of growth, expansion and contraction all the time. It's the way of the world, it's the way of life. And your cycle and becoming aware of it is like kind of the point dot, dot point zero of starting to understand.
your place in the greater. And that might sound a bit esoteric and a bit vague, but I know that the period nerds are going to get it. And I know that the ones that are curious about it are also like, that sounds familiar. I've thought about that before. That rings true to me somewhere. I'd like to learn a little bit more.
Holly Lamb (13:10.104)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (13:13.944)
Yeah, and that's what we want to do, just show women that it isn't just, I have my period and I feel a bit shit and then that's it. Like you said, there's the four seasons that the Reds school break it down into and how you are likely to feel, not how you should feel because it's your cycle and everybody's going to be different. Like we both feel more comfortable in the second half of our cycle. So in the via negativa where a lot of women
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (13:20.475)
Mm hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (13:31.675)
and the benefits.
Holly Lamb (13:42.264)
feel more comfortable in the via positiva, so the beginning of their cycle. So it's, every woman is different and that's okay and it's just learning to tap into your cycle and understand what it means to you. And like you said, there will be seasons. So, you know, when you're in your 20s and your 30s and your 40s and then when you get into like menopause and post menopause, you can still cycle, you can cycle with the moon. So you can still live cyclically.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (13:48.89)
Thank you.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (13:54.778)
you
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (14:07.642)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (14:10.456)
and be tapping into your inner knowing, even if you aren't physically having your menstrual cycle.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (14:16.57)
100%, 100%. Like I say, you don't tap out ever of living cyclically because as women, we are gifted this beautiful gift of living in the circadian rhythm and you don't unlive that even when you stop cycling. You know, excuse me, infradian rhythm. Circadian rhythm, as we know, is the wake -sleep cycle, which we all operate within that. And then we have the infradian rhythm, which is uniquely ours as women, right? What are some other examples of infradian rhythm?
Holly Lamb (14:20.344)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (14:46.649)
Okay, pregnancy, hibernation of animals, the way that birds migrate seasonally just because they download this information from Mother Earth and do it, the moon cycle and our menstrual cycle. So not only are we doing what the sun is doing and what men are doing, we are also living on our own frequency too. And don't ever stop that because your body is naturally designed to continue with that ebb and flow because we're so much more connected to nature than
Holly Lamb (15:03.864)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (15:16.248)
our male counterparts and that doesn't mean that we're better or worse, it just means that when we feel this affinity into the greater, tapping into the greater force of life, it's more natural and easier for women, you know? At least in my experience and at least in my journey and in the feedback that I'm getting from other women as well.
Holly Lamb (15:18.456)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (15:33.432)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (15:38.136)
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, my husband now, he kind of... When I talk to him about stuff, he kind of goes, okay, before he was like, you're off your fucking rocker. But now he's like, okay. And he just like, he kind of just accepts it, but he'll never fully understand it because he's not got a womb and he doesn't cycle. And men's hormones are 24 hours, you know, women's are 28 -ish. So they're never going to understand...
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (15:46.552)
you
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (15:55.416)
Yeah. Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (16:02.648)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (16:06.264)
what it feels like to go through this and that's okay. That's all right. Exactly, exactly.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (16:09.752)
Yeah, we're there to educate. And I think as well it's about letting other women know that this is a grand remembering, right? We aren't learning this information for the first time. We've all got it stored within us. And it's about reawakening that. And that can be quite confrontational because there's, again, this idea that when we start to talk about menstruality, either we're doing it from a purely medical point of view because there's a quote unquote problem, right?
Holly Lamb (16:20.632)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (16:38.903)
or we're coming at it from this really new age wishy -washy, like, you know, let's go in and hold hands in the rain, which I, you know, in a circle and dance about, which I highly recommend anyway. But like, but you know, there's a beautiful combination of those two things when we're really looking at what your body is doing all the time from the second you get your first period until way, way, way, way, way so many years down the line, right?
Holly Lamb (16:50.904)
Hehehehe
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (17:06.55)
constantly in this ebb and flow whether you accept it now in whatever context or whether you don't your body's doing it anyway so befriend your cycle and see what it can do for you like it's your ally and it's so I was listening to your point about boundaries your podcast about boundaries and I was thinking like my greatest ally in being able to use my voice has been my cycle
Holly Lamb (17:21.752)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (17:33.88)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (17:34.325)
Because it's helped me become a better, 100 % it's helped me become a better coach for sure because now I know what I feel passionate and what I know works and how I can communicate that very well. It's made me a better wife because I'm able to communicate how I'm feeling and be okay with if he's a bit stroppy about what I've said. And I don't mean in an aggressive way just like, hey, I don't have capacity for this right now because I'm feeling very sensitive.
Holly Lamb (17:52.6)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (18:02.613)
or I'm feeling a bit scatterbrained today and I need some support. It's made me a better friend for sure because I'm not going to turn up and be sulky at your party when I don't want to be there. I will hang out with you separately and give you my full attention. And it's made me better to myself because I'm able to respect not only my energy levels but be very curious about what
Holly Lamb (18:14.488)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (18:28.468)
my inner critic presents to me. So rather than feeling super irritable or frustrated around my luteal pre -menstrual phase, I'm actually very open to whatever is being presented to me over and over again and thinking, where am I ignoring this somewhere else? So in terms of self -development, it's given me loads. And it's also, which is so amazing to be on your podcast and to connect with you because I don't think that
Holly Lamb (18:41.368)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (18:58.067)
I would be as prepared for perimenopause had it not been for my work in the last few years tracking, getting to know my cycle on different levels, the nuances of my cycle, because perimenopause and menopause are going to be big waves whether or not they come with physical symptoms or not. I mean, these are big changes, right? We're talking about hormonal level within the body, right? Hormones pretty much determine our moods. Our moods determine how we interact with our internal and external world, correct?
Holly Lamb (19:27.8)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (19:28.563)
So when those things are fucked with, there's going to be changes in the way that we interact and the capacity that we have for both our internal and external worlds. So I'm doing a service now for myself by understanding, I'm doing a service for my future self by understanding now, or at least trying to gain an understanding of what will come inevitably and be happy about it, right?
Holly Lamb (19:43.64)
Hmm.
Holly Lamb (19:53.208)
Yeah. Yes. Yes, I love that. And that's kind of like the message that I'm trying to get across is that, yes, there will be all these things that come up. There will be all these symptoms, but it's not a negative thing. And the way it is portrayed is very, very negative, which I completely disagree with. And a massive thing I believe is that women are so disconnected from their bodies that they find the transition so difficult. And then all these symptoms come up and I feel like the more disconnected you are,
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (19:56.946)
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (20:08.466)
you
Holly Lamb (20:21.752)
which may ruffle some feathers, but the more disconnected you are from your body, the worse your symptoms will be. And yes, HRT can help to a degree for some women. I think if you're at the end of your tether, it can absolutely help, but there's so many lifestyle changes that you need to make in order to feel better that if you start doing that now in your, even in your 20s, but especially in your 30s, I actually saw Nicole Jardim, she's...
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (20:29.125)
Okay.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (20:34.321)
Okay.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (20:44.209)
100%.
Holly Lamb (20:49.656)
like a women's health coach, she specializes in period health and she's actually got a doctor on saying that you need to prepare for perimenopause in your 30s, ready for your 40s. And I was like, yes, absolutely. And doing this menstruality work will help with that because you will know if your cycle changes in any way because you are tracking it. And it's not about being really regimented, it's just been aware of your body and preparing you for what's to come.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (21:16.397)
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Like the practicing the awareness, I think is like the biggest thing, biggest service that you can do for yourself at any given time, by the way. But definitely in the lead up to perimenopause because
Holly Lamb (21:25.304)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (21:28.112)
So I just ran a group coaching program for 12 weeks called Empowered Essence and we just closed just two weeks ago. And the age group that I had in there, it was a group of 10 girls, women, not girls, they're all women. And the youngest that we had, I think she was at 27 and also we had about 46. And of course we talked about menstruality and I was very conscious to make sure that, okay, I'm not only talking about the menstruating,
Holly Lamb (21:42.136)
you
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (21:56.335)
ages or women that are menstruating regularly because obviously within that group there was somebody that was on birth control and there was one of the women that was experiencing you know the very kind of beginning of perimenopause and she was so skeptical of being even in the program and it was a whole holistic kind of mindset and menstruality so it wasn't purely menstruality but we definitely started with a cycle check -in every single day in this
recurring repeating every week, okay, start to see the pattern, start to notice because that awareness can happen in the background. You don't necessarily need to be kind of writing down, you know, everything that you find in your knickers and every time that you sweat and every time that you're pissed off or whatever. But it's about cultivating awareness, right? And so what I found out is when we had our one -to -one, she was like, I had no idea what perimenopause was when you were talking about it.
Holly Lamb (22:29.912)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (22:41.656)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (22:51.32)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (22:51.918)
in the, this is the oldest woman that I had who is fantastic by the way. And she really latched onto it and she was like, this is amazing. And yeah, she got a lot of richness from it. But she was telling me at the beginning after we had our one -to -one, I didn't even know what it was, didn't know how to spell it when I was writing to you about it in our chat. And I was like, that's so telling of just the world that we live in where we're just not speaking about it. Like not only are we giving our girls
Holly Lamb (23:09.272)
Wow.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (23:20.429)
such little real information about periods when they get them apart from, you know, this is what product to use and, you know, take a paracetamol and, you know, maybe go to sleep or just power through or whatever it is. And, are you there? I thought I lost you for a second. Okay. Okay, carry on.
Holly Lamb (23:43.768)
Yeah, don't worry. I can always cut it, so just... Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (23:49.388)
And then, so not only are we giving our girls really little information when they're getting their periods, for the first time, aside from, you know, this is the kind of product that you should use and tampons or pads or whatever, which for me is completely the devil's work. Like, do not use anything with bleach in it, don't use anything with carcinogens in it, but we'll save that for another podcast maybe. But then we are kind of just dismissing women.
largely in the medical field until you're going to be put on something like hormone replacement therapy or something like that. We just dismiss them entirely once they've stopped cycling. And it's up to women in this sphere to educate and help other women remember that your life doesn't stop when you stop menstruating. And your life, there's nothing to be worried about when you stop menstruating. You know, this is a natural aging process. It's a natural maturing, growth, evolution process. And there's so much beauty.
Holly Lamb (24:24.74)
Mm. Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (24:48.075)
outside of your fertile years so much, you know? And seeing her take on board this information and really kind of settle into it, it was gorgeous. Really how I was able to learn from her as well because speaking to somebody that's in perimenopause, listening to them holding space is very, very enriching.
Holly Lamb (24:52.152)
yeah.
Holly Lamb (25:05.592)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (25:12.732)
That's amazing. And that just shows like the lack of education and information that is out there. And then the information out there is very confusing. Like I work with another PT and I do like bi -weekly calls with his clients around women's health. So we talk about everything, women's health. And I did one last night on perimenopause and just kind of gave them facts and they were like, shit, that's, I didn't know that.
I didn't know this. And it's like, these are just basic things like the average age of menopause is 51 in the UK. And you know, menopause is one day. We use the terms, but menopause is one day. You're either peri or your post and that, you know, all these terms that are just thrown around and they're not understood. And I saw a woman on a Facebook group that said, I've been given, you know, HRT, but I don't really know how to take it or what to do. And it's like, this is crazy. Like you're getting something from the doctor, which is prescribed and you don't know how.
how to use it and they didn't tell you. They've just been failed on a daily basis, a daily basis and it winds me up.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (26:12.426)
And I have another question to ask you around that like so around the women in your life older women right maybe your mum or some aunties or even friends mums mums friends mums right I want to know in your experience how many women were
Holly Lamb (26:29.304)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (26:41.513)
honest or did you know or did you have an open conversation about either their cycle when they were cycling or about what they were feeling during peri -menopause or menopause outside of, it's a wee bitty hot innit? Right, that was it. I'm getting a wee bit of a hot, I'm a wee bitty hot and flustered. That was it and then you just were like alright, what's the change is it? But like there was nothing else, that's it, the change and no one spoke about it. What's that about?
Holly Lamb (26:48.984)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (26:55.608)
Mmm, yeah, yeah.
Holly Lamb (27:04.792)
Yeah, the change.
Holly Lamb (27:09.528)
Yeah, zero, zero. When this all happened to me, I spoke to my mom and she was like, yeah, I was early starting mine. And so was your auntie and so was your grandma. She's like, I just stopped drinking red wine and I was all right. I was like, all right, okay. But it's quite funny now looking back and seeing like how she would flip, you know, she'd be fine and then she'd be angry the next second. And I'd be like, you'd be like, whoa, but you wouldn't know what it was. And now I understand because that can happen.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (27:35.688)
Yeah, yeah, I think that's, so I told my mum I was going to be on this podcast, so I'm going to say that definitely when I say that menstrualities made me better.
Holly Lamb (27:37.24)
You can be fine and then you just lose your shits.
Holly Lamb (27:45.272)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (27:50.759)
better person, it's made me a better daughter as well. Not only did I gift my mum for Christmas, Wise Power, the book by Alexandra and Shani, yeah, I gifted her that on Christmas, but it also made me realise like now that she's older, just that because the estrogen isn't there anymore, the diplomacy, she's gonna kill me, the diplomacy and the need to
Holly Lamb (27:58.712)
amazing.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (28:20.807)
people please is, which is what a liberation, right? But that dissipates when we're menopause, post -menopause, right? Because I think as well on our first chat, I told you that I was in a womb wisdom course where we were talking precisely about perimenopause and menopause. And there was a woman there that was talking about her experience with, she was interacting with somebody that was in her post -menopause, menopause, crone.
Holly Lamb (28:22.744)
Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Holly Lamb (28:38.04)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (28:50.438)
wise women years and she said, it's like the veil of estrogen has lifted and I'm left with just myself. And it just, it gives me till this day, like gives me goosebumps because I think what a wonderful way we could just look at perimenopause and menopause as a massive homecoming and a big remembrance and a big landing into who we've been building ourselves up to be. And we all know that when we're ovulating that estrogen is this
Holly Lamb (29:09.72)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (29:19.493)
It's this big connecting hormone, right? It wants to make you amicable and friendly and diplomatic and you can hold space for maybe, you know, big conversations or your friends, kids that are running about the place. You just think, that's really cute, isn't it? Look at them. This got tons of energy, right? But fast forward five days and you can't stand them. They're too loud. Everything is too stimulating because the progesterone is dipping, progesterone is rising. The progesterone is that coming home.
Holly Lamb (29:25.304)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (29:32.984)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (29:48.964)
hormone, right? Like, okay, the outside noise drowns out a little bit and I'm getting to be refocused on myself. And this idea of like the connection hormone just lifting and being left with just what is purely you for me is just like, okay, it's made me just almost look forward to it in a way of like, wow, I wonder what's behind that curtain. Can I just get a sneak peek, you know, here and there and...
Holly Lamb (29:54.616)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (30:12.088)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (30:16.452)
And I think that this curiosity and again, menstruality and mindset can't be separate because if I'm afraid of what I'm going to find, I'm going to arrive already kind of filled with apprehension, filled with tension. And if I can arrive being curious about what can this stage offer me, then I'm allowing myself to learn and be pleasantly surprised.
Holly Lamb (30:28.024)
Mm. Mm.
Holly Lamb (30:35.)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (30:39.544)
and that's such a beautiful way to put it. And the veil of oestrogens just lifted is fantastic. And it is true and you're just left with you and what you really think. And it's quite funny and it's quite liberating. It is, it's great. And this is why this podcast is called No Fucks Given because you get to that stage and you don't care. You don't care, you really don't. And it's just fantastic.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (30:43.746)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (30:49.346)
Yeah. Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (31:01.666)
Yeah, yeah, I love it. I love it. That's why I love so much these chats with my mum because now I feel like, because I can really see how she speaks. I have new appreciation for what she says. And she's obviously somebody that I speak to quite openly about my own path and my own journey with this. And it's so, it's like I've removed this filter and I get to like listen to the matriarch in my life, listen, talk to me about these kind of things.
Holly Lamb (31:21.432)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (31:30.05)
which I really, that's priceless, you know? And yeah, it's just, it's a whole world. It's a whole world after menstruation. And that's what I'm saying, like the cycling becomes, it takes on a new form, right? And living within your cycle, your cycle then can expand and contract as you need it to because you've earned the right to define that for yourself, you know?
Holly Lamb (31:55.288)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think it can be really kind of daunting and overwhelming when you kind of maybe are listening to all this. So if someone was kind of coming into your world and like, okay, where the fuck do I start? What's some advice you would give to the woman going, where do I start? What do I do?
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (32:06.657)
Hmm.
wow, I love it. I would say begin at the beginning. Begin at the beginning. Begin right at the very beginning. And what do I mean by that? I mean, first of all, start on day one. Don't try and, for me, I think it could be a bit complicated if you wanna try like, okay, where am I now? So if you wanted to get into cycling, menstrual cycle awareness, I would say begin on day one of your period. If you have some curiosity, okay, cool, keep it in a little box.
Holly Lamb (32:34.104)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (32:43.808)
Bring it back out when you're on day one and just be aware. You don't need to write down anything just yet, but just be aware, what am I feeling? Where am I mentally, emotionally? Just allow that awareness to kind of sink in. And when you feel ready, have a look at the narrative around your first bleed. Where were you? Who was with you? What was the sensations that you were having?
Do you remember? And the likelihood is because we were, you know, probably in a very young age, maybe 11, 12, maybe 10, or maybe 14, 15, 16, whatever. Wherever you were in that age, you're probably much more in your body than you are now, right? Because as children and adolescents, we're far more connected. So get in touch back with those physical sensations. Did you like how you felt? Were you curious? Were you frightened? And then just ask yourself, what's still true for you now?
I think that's a great baseline to start. You know? Can I ask what your, what was your first period like?
Holly Lamb (33:46.232)
I love that.
Holly Lamb (33:51.064)
I know I was just thinking back to that. I was later, so mine was like 14. And we were going out somewhere. And then I went to the loo and then I was like, what's going on? And then my mom was there and she gave me a pad and stuff. And then we just went out and that was it. There was no kind of explanation. It's just like, this is what happens. It was just very matter of fact.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (33:56.383)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (34:10.751)
Mm. Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (34:20.639)
Mmm.
Holly Lamb (34:21.016)
Okay, here you go. This is what happens. I'm sure we probably had a conversation at some point, but not that I can recall, but that's just what I can remember, because I can remember like coming out onto the landing, you know, and you can just see it in your mind's eye and I was like, mom. So yeah, very just matter of fact and not anything of much significance, but then that's probably shaped some.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (34:35.069)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (34:49.976)
areas of my menstruality journey, which have helped, which have come up again in doing this menstruality leadership program with the Red School. You know, doing a lot of the guided sessions with my coach, Jane, and doing things like that have really uncovered why I wasn't as comfortable in certain parts of my cycle, which I didn't know why. And then doing that and diving in has been a massive eye -opener. And this...
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (34:57.629)
Mm -hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (35:17.757)
Hmm.
Holly Lamb (35:19.832)
There's so much that can come out and it can be difficult. It absolutely can be difficult. But I think if you can do it now, you're just going to be so much more prepared for what's to come later in life. What about yours? What do you remember what yours was like?
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (35:23.709)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (35:32.797)
No
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (35:36.86)
I love mine. I love mine. And it's just it's so funny because reconnecting with that part of me, it's like no wonder I ended up where I am now. I just got replaced by other stuff later, but I was 11 and I remember it was on the 11th of November and I remember like this always stuck with me. it was 11 and the 11th of November.
And for some reason as a kid I thought that was like super significant.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (36:11.388)
which you know, it probably isn't, but I just, I remember thinking like, that's really important. And my, previously to me getting my period, my mum had bought me a book called Have You Started Yet? Which I have a copy of, it's by Ruth, hold on a minute, I'm gonna get it off the shelf because I want to read the name of the author for anyone that has a daughter that is about to start, or even if you are into menstruality and you want to see,
what I think is one of the best books out there for kids. Have You Started Yet by Ruth Thompson, Getting the Facts Straight. And it's this wee book which I found, I've lost my own copy, but I found a book that came to me from Edmonton Public Library in Canada. I ordered it on Etsy, I think. And it is a really matter of fact book that comes with...
Holly Lamb (36:43.416)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (37:07.962)
Personal mood chart Right aside from lots of great wee diagrams Look at that the whole thing plus the vulva the whole this one's got somebody that's drawn all over the vulva but and There's a library book but everything the fallopian tubes the uterus cervix vagina everything is labeled right down to the mons the labia the everything was labeled and I just remember thinking like
Holly Lamb (37:10.616)
Wow.
Holly Lamb (37:15.768)
Mmm.
Love, Flay.
Holly Lamb (37:31.992)
you
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (37:38.138)
This is, I didn't even know this existed. And then it tells you, you and your psych calling. You might feel like you have cramps, this is okay, but if it gets really bad, you should tell mum or dad. Save up good things to do. Keep some healthy snacks on the side so that you don't only eat chocolate. Like how to, you know, that you'll probably notice that you might smell different. It was just such a practical matter of fact book. And she just sort of left it on my bed, right?
Holly Lamb (37:40.888)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (38:07.992)
must have been about 10 years old because I developed quite early. So she left it on my bed and we never really chatted about it but I read it cover to cover and I would take it into school and show everybody like this is this is what labia is did you know that? When I came to get my period I was 11 and I had a stomach ache and I went to the bathroom and I thought that I thought that I had a really bad tummy and
Holly Lamb (38:18.84)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (38:34.647)
you know, I was, there was obviously, I didn't have a bad tummy. I was having, experiencing what were menstrual cramps and I had these, what I thought were like little flecks of paint on my pants. I didn't realize that that's, there wasn't, I knew what a period was, but I didn't expect the first period to look like that. And then I remembered telling my mum, like, there's just paint on my pants. And she was like, I don't think that's what it is. And it was really like joyful. Like at the time I lived,
in a great big house with my extended family. So I lived with my dad is one of eight, he's got five sisters. And I lived with them all and I ran upstairs. And I remember like telling them, I've got my period, I've got my period. And, you know, I come from a Middle Eastern family. So I think that was like really, it was a really big woman's moment for me. So there was a lot of like, come on.
Holly Lamb (39:11.8)
Wow.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (39:30.295)
like a lot of they were super happy for me and I remember getting lots of hugs and like now you're a woman and it was really joyous and they were kissing me and hugging me and and that's it I went went back to my room I you know took a shower and I went to sleep and my dad came home and I could hear my mom outside my door going your daughter got her period today so I got out of bed and I threw the door open and I went did mom tell you? And of course you know for an Arab father this is like
Holly Lamb (39:31.256)
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (40:00.054)
almost unheard of, you know, what kind of, do you know what I mean? And he was so good about it, he kind of shook my hand and went, congratulations.
Holly Lamb (40:02.232)
Mm. Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (40:12.053)
And it was so wholesome. You could tell that no one had prepped him for this. But I was over the moon and tucked my pad into my school bag so that you could see it. See the wee packet on the top. I've got my period. It was really, really tough. And later on down the line, I think all of that stuff just got replaced with society stuff of, you know,
Holly Lamb (40:17.304)
You
Holly Lamb (40:26.2)
awww
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (40:39.669)
Yeah, this is nasty, it's bad, it's smelly, it's dirty, it's this and all of that stuff. And I kind of then, yeah, did my best to kind of avoid it. When I got married, I went on birth control so that I could like go on holiday without it bothering. I would take it through sometimes two months to not have a period. I was so disconnected from what my menstrual cycle was. And then I made a decision to come off it and it's been
Holly Lamb (40:42.488)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (40:51.544)
Mmm.
Holly Lamb (40:57.496)
Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (41:09.717)
such a life -changing decision. It's had ups and downs, but it's taken me right down to where I am now, and yeah, it's wonderful.
Holly Lamb (41:12.536)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (41:19.544)
That's such a beautiful story because that doesn't happen very often. And I would absolutely love it if that was every little girl's experience of getting their period. And that's how it should be. It should be a celebration. And all it takes is a bit of education for kind of like our generation and for us to understand, to then pass it down and then to keep passing it down in order to change the narrative that the menstrual cycle is something to be embraced. And still women are like,
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (41:23.381)
it
Holly Lamb (41:48.616)
I've got my period. I've got my period. Sometimes I'm like, I need it. I'm waiting for it. I want it. And it's almost like a cleansing because you've got all this like energy coming up and then you're like, you're waiting for it to kind of be released. And it's just so, it's so amazing. And yeah, the more you tap into it, the more beauty that you'll see in your own menstrual cycle.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (41:57.011)
Thank you.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (42:15.731)
And it's talking about the menstrual cycle just for anyone that's listening that is like, okay, this just doesn't resonate with me or I'm not sure yet. Well, first of all, you come to the right place. It doesn't resonate with you. You might be lying to yourself because you're listening to this podcast. But it's the way that your cycle adapts and helps you learn about where you are in your life. Okay.
And I want to share something that is super recent for me, like literally in the last month. So because we've been on this menstruality leadership program, I'm obviously like, as you are and as all the other women in this course are, like much more attuned to like the nuances. So let's take a deeper look at those seasons, right? So we have the seasons, but what about the seasons of life? And a month ago, I lost my husband.
my dog, I had to put my senior dog to sleep, I'd had her for almost 14 years and you'll know that within MLP we have listening partners. My listening partner Ramona, we got on a listening partnership the day after I had to put her down and she just held space for me while I was chatting about it and we spoke separately after the listening partnership and she said to me, I felt like I told her that I had
felt like this was like a chapter in my life that was closing. I was explaining to her when I got her, you know, I was living in Spain and I brought her here, took away from Spain and you know, she was my connection to my best friend who I'd gotten this dog with, et cetera, and I was seeing all these wonderful memories that I had with my dog in them. And she said to me, so she's been with you through the summer of your life. And it just, it was like, my God, yeah, that's why I feel this big void now.
because this was kind of like my link to my mid -20s all the way to where I am now. And my period came very kind of two, three days late, which is not normal for me. I kind of needed to wait until she passed. And then after a couple of days, then I got my period really, really heavy, very emotionally intense time. And I'm on day two of my cycle now, okay? And I have...
Holly Lamb (44:07.928)
you
Holly Lamb (44:20.888)
Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (44:36.399)
this sense of stepping into a new era in my life. I'm turning 39. I know that my body is changing. I can see it in my cycle. I'm aware of it with my ability to interact. And just when you and I came into this connection loop a few months ago and me seeing what your message is about paying attention to the measure of cycle awareness now prepares you for marriage.
Holly Lamb (44:52.536)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (45:05.39)
Harry Menopause. I felt this like, my god, all the bits are falling into place. Yes, the summer of my life, I'm transitioning into the autumn part of my life, which is so rich and so...
Holly Lamb (45:16.408)
you
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (45:21.806)
like so purposeful because now I can put aside the doubts and really kind of sink into what my purpose is. And when you said it, like it was so simple. Yeah, cycle a glimpse, cycle awareness now prepares you for what's to come. Today's day two and I went to the gym. That's not me, sis. I don't know how to tell you that. Like I went to the gym. I was like, I'm just so powerful today. And I never do that. I'm always like in my bed, you know, airplane mode.
Holly Lamb (45:38.552)
Hmm.
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (45:50.2)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (45:50.382)
And I realized like, okay, I've closed the chapter of the summer of my life gently and still maybe still closing it. But this cycle is teaching me now in this moment that my energy levels are going to reflect this new chapter, new season of my life. Mind blown. I've been waiting this entire time to kind of weave this in by the way, because this felt like so big, so big.
Holly Lamb (46:13.528)
Mmm
Holly Lamb (46:17.304)
Yeah, that's, yeah. It is overwhelming, isn't it? And it just shows the power. And if that isn't a reason to start, then I don't know what is. Like I don't know what is, because it is transformative. And you know, some of the women that I speak to, they just, they don't quite understand it. And you won't understand it until you start doing it. And like, I brought my cycle back into sync doing this. I didn't change anything.
I've been off HRT for months, because it wasn't for me. I just didn't feel right on it. And I'm doing it holistically, let's say lifestyle -based. And this was the final piece of the puzzle. The MCA was the final piece of the puzzle that kind of is bringing it all back into harmony to prepare me for what's coming. Because I'm probably gonna be doing this for at least 10 years. Perimenopause is eight to 10 years. And then your periods will stop.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (46:56.384)
Mm hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (47:10.636)
or something. Yeah.
Holly Lamb (47:14.776)
and then you're postmenopause and then that's another journey. So, yeah, it's just exciting.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (47:20.772)
And I think also menstrual cycle awareness allows you to be really present with the moment, to really address your needs in the moment. I think that there's a tendency to think that, okay, I'm studying my cycle and then what, and then what, and then what. Well, actually it's about being rooted with where you are at this moment and understanding the impermanence of it all.
Holly Lamb (47:28.92)
Hmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (47:45.932)
And this can really help women that are having really heavy mood swings or, you know, feelings of overwhelm, especially around the premenstruum, where we feel just like, whoa, my God, I'm crap at everything and nothing is going right. It's like this too shall pass, babe, sit with it or take a nap. Because by the way, you're gonna feel right as rain in 48 hours. And if you don't, well then it's a...
Holly Lamb (47:46.488)
you
Holly Lamb (48:01.016)
Hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (48:12.651)
an indicator that maybe you can, maybe you need to look, maybe consult a doctor or some kind of health practitioner to support you. But it's never, your cycle is never ever working against you. It will only bring things up to you that require your attention. And that could be a recurring thought or feeling, especially around the luteal phase, or it could be where you feel that you want to self express in your ovulatory phase. I mean, it's so data rich, you know?
Holly Lamb (48:20.472)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (48:28.344)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (48:42.232)
Mmm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (48:42.666)
and it's at our fingertips at any given moment.
Holly Lamb (48:46.392)
Yeah, it is amazing. this has been so good. Like I could, I think we could probably just talk for hours on end, literally about the menstrual cycle. It is amazing. And yeah, for anybody that's not doing it, just start, just start tracking, just start tracking your cycle because it's super, super easy to, you know, just to start with, like you said, day one, just start day one and kind of go from there. So,
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (48:47.114)
Yes.
Thank you.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (49:09.258)
They will. Yeah.
Holly Lamb (49:14.392)
How do people connect with you and how would somebody work with you? Kind of what have you got coming up at the moment?
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (49:19.786)
Beautiful question, thank you very much. So you can connect with me on Instagram if you like. It's the soulful coach. So yeah, how it's spelt. And I have a group program coming up in end of September, beginning of October, which is going to be around mindset and menstruality.
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (49:44.552)
with different guest coaches that offer different modalities and expertise in their own field from somatics, movement, dance, nutrition, meditation, breathwork, weaved in together with mindset and menstruality, which I think is wonderful. I also have a retreat coming up in September in Barcelona around the theme of exploring feminine expression and I have a couple of spaces left for that. It's from the 6th to the 12th of September.
Holly Lamb (50:00.696)
Yes.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (50:13.671)
And yeah, just slide in my DMs on Instagram. I have a wonderful beginner's guide to menstrual cycle awareness, which I am happy to share with absolutely anyone that asks for it. And it consists of kind of the inner seasons at a glance. So like just a couple of infographics that are super easy to understand that explain the outline of what the inner seasons are and what they mean.
Holly Lamb (50:17.816)
Hehehehehe!
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (50:41.223)
an overview of menstrual cycle awareness, so why menstrual cycle awareness and why it's important. And then three daily questions that you can use just to create awareness for yourself, that you can apply to yourself every day, every week, whenever, that just get you a little bit more in tune with your cycle. And I give that to absolutely anyone that will give me five minutes of their time. And I gave it, the other day I went for...
I went for coffee with a friend who, you know, we're both super busy and when our schedule finally matched, she was in a bit of a bit of a state. And we had never seen each kind of knows what I do, but she's somebody that I see kind of socially, but we wanted someone on one time together. And she was like, look, I'm a bit all over the place and, and I think I'm about to get my period. I don't know. And I'm really emotional, blah, blah, blah. So we had a chat. And then the next day I sent her this.
booklet and yeah day before yesterday she sent me a voice note going I don't often send voice notes and yeah but this is really this is a lot more useful than I thought it would be and I think that's the that's the greatest compliment isn't it like be skeptical sure bring your skepticism please because you know like let it work for you so I think I'm in my inner spring now and it makes sense and wow this is and I was like yeah
Holly Lamb (51:53.176)
There we go.
Holly Lamb (52:00.152)
Mm.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (52:09.445)
you know this is it and and I said to her just practice your awareness don't read too much into it just now that you're aware the work's ongoing you don't need to be doing much else just keep being aware and her response was yeah I kind of like the idea of not reading a bit more now because I'm floating on a cloud of power and I was like brilliant brilliant
Holly Lamb (52:10.04)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (52:32.728)
Exactly, and it is, this work is power. It is pure power. I love it. Thank you. Well, I'll put all of that in the show notes so people can connect with you. But yeah, thank you so much for this. It's been amazing. And it's always fun trying to you.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (52:36.325)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Alyah | The Soulful Coach (52:48.037)
My pleasure. Yeah. God, I feel like I've gone on and on and on. But OK, I hope it's made sense. Sometimes. Yeah, good. I'm glad. That's grand. Thank you.
Holly Lamb (52:53.144)
No.
It has, it has. It's been great. Thank you so much for joining. Thanks everybody for listening and I'll see you next week.