Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Polyamory is just one part of the conversation...
TRYB3 TALK PODCAST is about building together:
Love. Growth. CommUnity
Peace. I'm Luna.
Ay3:Peace. I'm Ay3.
Tamra:Hello. I am Tamra. And this is our Tryb3 Talk
Ay3:Yes, is.
Tamra:Yes. And today on this lovely moon day, we are going to be discussing some questions about group wellness and community. So listen in.
Ay3:Yeah. So I guess we can start with question one obviously.
Luna:Yes.
Ay3:Question one says how do you maintain emotional balance while navigating multiple relationships?
Luna:How to why me because emotional balance?
Ay3:Hey.
Tamra:Moon day things.
Ay3:Yes. Moon day things. Luna.
Luna:Yeah. Well, I guess I could say I have a lot of growth in this area. When it comes to maintaining emotional balance, we have to remember that it's our responsibility to watch the temperament of said balance because not just your emotions affecting you, but it's affecting everybody that it is you're connected to. Mhmm. So I can say what helps me maintain is to communicate.
Luna:Communicate how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling away about the weather, if I'm feeling away about, you know, what my crazy toddler, our crazy toddler just did five minutes ago. I need to express these things in order to maintain them. When before I thought just journaling things down or walking outside would ease things for me, it might for me, but I just realized I set ablaze to everything that was in my path unintentionally. This is a space I'm still growing in.
Luna:And, yeah, maintaining is communicating for me.
Ay3:Yeah.
Tamra:I love the for me part because for everybody, it's different. Yeah.
Ay3:So what is it for you?
Tamra:Man, maintaining emotional balance. For me, emotional balance with multiple relationships. I think for me, it probably is very internal. And so for me, for anything in a poly dynamic, I really I had to sit down with myself like before I even allowed myself into a space because I didn't want to go into a poly space and like work out all the kinks in that space. Kinks.
Tamra:I wanted to come in and like put my best foot forward. I didn't want to come in and just be reckless or like a bull in a China shop. I wanted to make sure that when I came in, dynamic I was in, I was adding to, I wasn't making things more complicated. I wasn't making things more difficult. And so I have, I have a lot of, I guess, self accountability when it comes to my emotions.
Tamra:I don't ever like to project my emotions on other people because I'm like, man, that's so unfair. Like, even though I'm having a rough day or something has me feeling off, like, don't want to take away from anyone else. And so for me, emotional balance is really something that I source from within. So I take time to make sure that personally I'm in a healthy space. And, and of course there are times, you know, with that balance where I have to communicate.
Tamra:I think communication is going to be the underlying factor of everything that we do. But for me, balance is really, it's something that I have within myself before I even become an addition to any type of a dynamic. So emotional balance for me, I'm always making sure that I'm doing things that are feeding me, that I'm putting myself in spaces like where things are important to me, like learning and being able to teach people. As long as I'm doing things that has like an even flow of energy in and out of my life, things that are fulfilling to me, then I know that that's going to allow me to stay in an emotional balance by myself. And when I'm in emotional balance by myself, then I know I'm good to be in a space with other people.
Tamra:So what about you?
Ay3:Me. Well, I'm I feel like I'm a mix of the both of you. Mhmm. You know, I'm very I'm very self accountable with my emotions. My emotions don't really go in many places.
Ay3:I'm really objective with my emotions so to
Tamra:speak. Yeah.
Ay3:So I kind of zoom into what I want to zoom into. So if I'm feeling away it's because I chose to feel away. Yeah. Not because I can't control it is really that I have to really be like I choose to be angry I'm choosing to be heavy right now so I feel like maintaining emotional balance for me more is kind of maintaining with us, you know, like I'm always very aware of how everyone is feeling in the room. So I may throw a little weight over here, little weight over there to kind of, you know, spark or inspire, you know, good feelings, you know?
Ay3:So I feel like balance to me is really literally seeing what's happening around me. And I kind of use my powers, so to speak, to kind of balance the scales.
Tamra:It's the way you're designed.
Ay3:It's my human design.
Tamra:Which is a plug for human design. If you don't know what human design is, we'll definitely get into that.
Ay3:You all are.
Tamra:Later down the road. But even even even having an awareness of each of our energetic designs and in the way our auras work, knowing like, you know, for instance, with Luna, her energy, everybody in the home is going to feel it because of her design. And so her having an awareness of that and us also having awareness of that helps for us to create collective balance And our same with you, with you having a brick wall and basically just being like
Luna:Being able to be objective.
Tamra:Yeah, like a giant shield. Yeah. Yeah. That makes a big difference. Mhmm.
Ay3:What's that next question?
Luna:Yeah.
Tamra:Yeah. Who
Ay3:wants to say it? Mhmm.
Luna:I'll say it. What wellness practices help you stay grounded within polyamory?
Ay3:What wellness practice grounded in polyamory? Can I start?
Tamra:Yeah. Go ahead.
Ay3:I would say I would say fitness. Yeah. Fitness and the way we eat, you know, like, it's something about being physical and getting your blood flowing. It kinda clears and balances out. It set just that gets that dopamine flowing.
Ay3:You know? So you already just feel good. You know? You're not sitting there sitting in anything that may kind of linger from your sleep or something that happened or something you heard and in the way the world we live in you know all the vibrations happening that we don't really realize is kind of
Luna:affecting us
Ay3:you know that fitness kind of it shakes all that away you know So I would say the way we eat and fitness is heavy. It's for staying grounded in self. What about you?
Tamra:I agree. I agree. I think for wellness practices, obviously, that's more you're gonna have like your mental wellness and things like that, but more on a, on a physical tip. I agree. I think that, prioritizing, you know, like physical things, like even if it's just us all going out for a hike together or the fact, you know, everybody's out in the gym and the garage or, individually, the things that we do.
Tamra:And then, I mean, of course, the things that we eat, because all of those things are going to contribute to like a cellular health overall. When your body is in a state where you're feeding it nutrient dense foods and you're getting your blood moving, like you said, and you're getting sunshine outside when you're doing things that are aligning your body in a proper way, everything else is going to be much healthier. So you are going to be in a better space like we talk about how not having conversations while people are tired, important conversations while people are tired, important conversations while people are hungry, things like that. I think that all kind of contributes to that. The wellness centered, if we're making sure that all of those boxes are checked, then it allows us to kind of be in a wholesome space where we're just grounded overall.
Luna:Yeah, absolutely. I agree. I feel like naturally how, what we consume and that's all around the board, what we consume, because we're all very intentional about what we listen to about the company that we keep about all the things
Tamra:that I
Luna:feel like that's a part of the wellness that keeps us grounded as well as just being intentional. I agree.
Tamra:Everything we surround ourselves with.
Luna:Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's important.
Luna:Number three. Number
Tamra:three is for me.
Luna:Yeah. Yeah.
Tamra:All right. So how do you handle overwhelm overwhelm? How do you handle overwhelm when balancing personal needs with multiple partners' needs? That's a good one. That's a good one.
Tamra:Who wants to go first? Okay.
Luna:I went first already. You go first.
Tamra:I I to answer my own question. Okay. All right. So how do I handle overwhelm when balancing personal needs with multiple partner needs? I think this almost kind of goes back to the first question where we talk about emotional balance.
Tamra:I think that when you're being very intentional in the way that you're living with the things that you're eating, people you're surrounding yourself with, just when you're really striving to be a better version of yourself each day, when you're striving to be very intentional with your energy and the decisions that you make. If know, if you do take seriously that you are one unique individual that has a purpose that is unlike anyone else's, then each day you're wanting to show up in that capacity. And I think when you have that mindset, you're going to embrace all of those things. And so when you're embracing all of those things, having emotional balance, staying grounded and even handling things like overwhelm when you're balancing your personal needs. Again, like we talked about, I think communication is like that underlying current that is constant through everything.
Tamra:Because first off, if there is a time, because I know there's been days when I've been overwhelmed by not necessarily things in house, but like if I've got stuff going on, like with my family outside, my parents or a sibling, and I'm just not in a good space. I know the first thing that I do is just communicate that with you guys and let you guys know I am heavy today. I'm stepping away or I'm, you know, if I'm quiet, it doesn't have anything to do with anybody here. It's because of what I've got going on. And so the first thing for me would be handle overwhelm would be to communicate because me having to process that, that's a personal need.
Luna:Absolutely.
Tamra:Me having to maneuver through that, figure out how I feel. And in that way, because of the fact that these are the partners that I've chosen, I think it's I think that highlights how important it is when you are choosing people to share life with. Yeah. Because if we were in a dynamic where I'm not able to communicate that I'm feeling overwhelmed and because of that, I'm there's I need to balance. Need to I need to put a little bit more energy into myself right now.
Tamra:If I had people that I was in, you know, in dynamic with that hadn't done work themselves and were in spaces where they took that personally. Like, well, what
Luna:do you mean? Well, yeah.
Tamra:What do you mean? You have to work on yourself. What do you mean you're heavy? Well, that's
Ay3:not fair.
Tamra:Haven't done anything.
Ay3:You spent time with me.
Tamra:Yeah. But because of the fact that we've all been very specific and intentional in boundaries. So not that not that we don't know that each of us has things to work on and we're in process of, you know, things consistently always improving, always growing. But I know every single one of us has almost almost, I guess it is boundaries where we're like, these are people that we're willing to engage with. If it's someone who is compassionate, if it's someone who is able to hold space, those are things that are so important because when you do come to a day where you're overwhelmed, you know, you're attached with people that are going to, they're going to embrace you.
Tamra:Yeah, yeah. They're going to support you. They're going to give love. They're going to say whatever it is that you need. You know, we got you.
Tamra:You need time away. You know, We got the meals. We got the kids. What? You know, just go, go do what you need to do.
Tamra:Or even if you're not going anywhere, like, you need to hop? Do you need to talk? Whatever it is. So I think that question, for, you know, things are different. We're very fortunate.
Tamra:I feel like we're very fortunate just because of how we are with each other. I feel like we're very fortunate because we're naturally caring and considerate people. So none of us are assholes. None of us are
Luna:none of us generate the feelings of, oh, they're only taking care of them and not taking care of me because we all understand how that feels.
Tamra:None of us are entitled and give that type of energy at all. We always are very much in support of what anybody has going on. And so I do recognize that there may be some people that move into a dynamic because they're just getting to know each other. Those may be things that you guys find out after a while. And so my personal advice for that would be to handle any type of overwhelm or anything like that is to really exercise boundaries and discretion initially when you are choosing partners.
Tamra:When you are having those conversations, ask those difficult questions. Like how would you
Luna:handle that? I had to take a day to myself or step back for a little bit.
Tamra:How do you feel about that?
Luna:How do feel about that? How would you go about that?
Tamra:Yeah, yeah. Have those conversations because for you to figure out and learn beforehand, you know, okay, there's a little, there's a little and there's nothing so much having work to do in those spaces. Yeah. But just being, being aware of that and having that, having that awareness ahead of time allows you to be able to handle that differently. So that was a long answer, but I meant all of that.
Tamra:That was important.
Luna:It is important. Yeah. It circles back to how poly is about like the biggest mirror that we're going to have in relationships is because even having questions like that in scenarios that approach that. Yeah. It reminds us that it's the people that we choose to be in our life that show us who we are and show us who we're accepting and tolerating and manifesting.
Tamra:Yep.
Luna:So you want to be mindful of the type of people that you need to take the day or take some time to yourself. If they're responding anything outside of what is just and acceptable or right for you, then that's worth the conversation and the time.
Tamra:Yeah. Yep. So what about you guys? How do you yeah, how do you handle overwhelm?
Ay3:I feel like you hit all the points. Yeah. I would, if I was to start speaking right now, it would be just to simply say, I didn't say much. I feel like that's the great part about our dynamic that we kind of fill each other's faces. So it doesn't matter if it's long drawn up because if it's true, then that's what it is.
Ay3:And I feel like that was equivalent to what we all would need to say. Boom. What's the most supportive thing? What is the most supportive thing a polyamorous community or chosen family has done for you? Woah.
Luna:Oh wow. That's a beautiful question.
Tamra:That is a beautiful question.
Ay3:It is. Am I gonna answer
Luna:your question? Answer your own question.
Ay3:I feel the most supportive thing a polyamorous community or a chosen family has done for me, Allow me to embrace every part of self that even sometimes or the past, you know, previous parts of my life, may have felt not ashamed about, but, you know, felt like I didn't want to say or be out loud, you know? We are all in support of each other being in heart coherence, in full heart coherence. So we're all changeable. We all have our different ways of moving. There's no judgment.
Ay3:You know? And something about people supporting that enables you to be the highest version of yourself. Mhmm. And when you literally attach and then become to start to embrace the highest version of yourself, like, you literally start to see parts of yourself that you didn't even know existed.
Tamra:Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Ay3:You know? Like, you're you can literally feel your powers amping up, so to speak, and you don't feel like you're knocking anything over or upsetting anybody, you know, for genuinely just being that. So I would say the most supportive thing would be us supporting each other and allowing each other to be each other.
Luna:Yeah.
Ay3:So I feel that I feel that is the most supportive thing a polyamorous community or children's family has done for me. What's the
Tamra:best thing?
Luna:I think for me is patience.
Ay3:Okay.
Luna:You know, I feel like the greatest support that I've gotten from our chosen family, our polyamorous dynamic. Polyamorous dynamic. Yeah. From our poly dynamic, I feel like it's been patience. And that's just in allowing me to learn myself and allowing me to learn the new spaces around me and the new energy, the new people, everything.
Luna:I feel like patience is the greatest gift that I have right now, and I do not take it for granted.
Tamra:Not at all. I love that. Love that. What if thing a polyamorous community or chosen family has done for me? Oh man, I might cry.
Ay3:Woah. Hey, it's what it is. Just just break day.
Tamra:I'm a diffuse Lunus. Yes. You know, we don't always, not all of us have a family that is present. A tribe, we don't all have a family that's present. While I come from a large family, I'm more so the black sheep of my family.
Tamra:And so while I am the oldest of six children, so is the one of eight, the oldest of eight children, while I have a large family, don't have the relationship with my family that I would like to have. And because of that, I always spoke about how I wanted to create my own tribe. I wanted to create a family because I always felt that when I was in connection in the community with people, I would come across people, I'd be like, man, she's like a grandmother or wow, she's like an auntie or those are like cousins. Or, you know, I always felt that way. Always had that ability to, to meet people and connect with people like that.
Tamra:But because I've moved around so much Those were always fleeting relationships as well It was for a couple years when I was in that space and then when I moved again it was like okay well yeah, we're not physically in the same place.
Ay3:So just out of mind.
Tamra:I'll just say out of mind. So I think the most supportive thing that I have gained from having our tribe is the integration of just the support. Like, because of the fact that I have people here with my children, that it's not just me. Cause I've in a space where it's been me and my kids, you know, just me and my children for a long time. And so like that's a small thing that a lot of people take for granted.
Tamra:If you have a mom and you have a dad or if you have, you know, grandparents that are involved, things like that. But when you come from a space where it's just you and your children and all of the sudden now it's you and your children and other children. And you have other mothering energy and you have a fatherly masculine energy. Like those are very valuable things to me. They're the support in those alone, just knowing that there's those multiple energies in the home and that they're healthy.
Tamra:Yeah. And so just being able to have a space where if I'm not there, there's still people there and my children aren't alone. There's still people there in that space. That's yeah, I think that for me, that's probably the most supportive. There's so many supportive things.
Tamra:There's so many things. Oh, yes. Yeah, there's so many things, so many beautiful things I've gained from from our dynamic. But I would say the wholesomeness of a tribe, the wholesomeness of us, everybody, you know, choosing to be together. Because of the fact that we all love being around each other, it's, yeah, it's beautiful.
Tamra:I'm very grateful for it.
Ay3:It's beautiful. You you kept the tears. I see the eyes getting whooped.
Tamra:She sound glossy.
Ay3:Juicy. Like, it didn't it didn't drop.
Tamra:Nah.
Ay3:I was waiting for that one on the left eye.
Tamra:He was like, I
Luna:see it. Come on.
Tamra:Nah. Nah. Nah. Nah. That let me drip.
Luna:Next question is, how do you create safe spaces for connection, healing and open communication in polyamory? How do you create safe spaces? Genuinely, I feel like to create the safe spaces to reflect the safe space. So to make sure that you yourself are of sound mind, of heart coherency, to even be in a space to accept what someone is ready to share with you or not even words being said, maybe actions being done. Feel like in order to create safe space, you have to be be a safe space.
Tamra:Yep. She took my answer. Dang. D. Times two.
Tamra:Yeah.
Ay3:I ain't gotta say nothing else. That's that's it. Be the reflection of what it is.
Tamra:Yeah. Treat people how you wanna be treated. Absolutely.
Ay3:It makes it comfortable for a person to come to you because the way you are being. Yeah. Period.
Luna:Yep. We say that about just everything. Yeah. Everything that we're living and the way that we're walking is an allowance for other people to walk in love and walk in health and wellness and all the above as well. Yep.
Luna:So, yeah, I feel like just like how you had mentioned before about being mindful of the people that you want around you. You want those safe spaces. Need to you need to walk that way. You need to talk that way.
Tamra:Yeah. Lead by example. Definitely. Like if you if you want someone to be able to feel like they can come and approach you and have those tough conversations or have those very vulnerable conversations, sometimes that means you going and maybe initiating, hey, this is something that I really generally wouldn't speak about. But I want to share it.
Luna:I want to share it with you. Yeah. And it's keeping people reflective. Keeping people reflective. I like that.
Ay3:Yeah. I like the initiating thing, you know, because every single person isn't necessarily always an initiator. Yeah. Especially when it may be something that's heavy, Mhmm. You know, or may, you may sometimes feel like, man, that's a lot, you know, because a lot of times you may confront yourself, humming at yourself.
Ay3:Like maybe you need to think better. And a lot of times if a person gives you that space to
Luna:even just share
Ay3:to, to share or even say, Hey, you good? Hey, Hey, talk to me. Yeah. You know, something as small as a, Hey, talk to me. Yeah.
Ay3:Goes so far, you know, because the person might not want me to be like, Hey, I got something to say to you. That's like everybody's personality. Yeah. You know? So again, like us all loving on each other and reflecting that we all initiate or trigger the remembrance of, hey, this is the same.
Tamra:This is the same. Even when you
Ay3:still do it now. You know, sometimes you're like, you know.
Tamra:I feel you.
Ay3:I feel good. Yep. You good? I feel you. You know, instead of just keeping it in and be like, all day I felt so and so.
Ay3:Yeah. You know what I mean? Like say something to them. Maybe they might be having a hard time. Yeah.
Ay3:You know? So, you know.
Tamra:Or maybe they think that they're, that they're not visible. Yeah. Maybe they think that they're They're alone. They're not. Yeah.
Tamra:They're Yeah. Yeah. Hey.
Ay3:You've been smacking me all day. It's just my eyes black. That's from you.
Luna:Whiplash. Yeah. That's the truth. That's for certain.
Ay3:Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I mean, that was our, that was our five for today.
Tamra:That was our five for today. Solid five.
Ay3:That's our five. So, I mean, what can we talk about? What will we be talking about in our next episodes?
Tamra:Next time, I think we're going to touch on polyamorous love and relationship navigation. Yes. Yes. Yes. Make sure you don't miss out.
Tamra:You better not.
Ay3:All right. Well, just to know the one thing we always want to make sure we say is.
Tamra:We're stronger together.
Ay3:Peace. Peace. Bye. That felt good.