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Luke Whitmire serves as the Youth Director at the Cross and Crown Mission in Oklahoma City. Luke shares what he has learned while running the day to day operations of a youth mentoring program in an underserved community.
Show Notes
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WELCOME
You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.
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SHOW NOTES
Cross and Crown Mission in Oklahoma City
Proclaiming the love, hope, and mercy of Jesus Christ through service and prayer.
Proclaiming the love, hope, and mercy of Jesus Christ through service and prayer.
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:All right, here we go. Welcome to the, you can mentor podcast featuring Zack and Steven and our guest, Luke Whitmire.
Speaker 3:That was powerful.
Speaker 2:That's what we got. That's what we got working on today. Alright. Hey. For all you people out there in listen land, we are coming to you full steam ahead with a podcast on mentoring today on the You Can Mentor podcast.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:Listening land.
Speaker 2:Listening land. Listen land. No?
Speaker 4:I mean, I honestly think if we just stayed quiet, he would do that for 15 minutes.
Speaker 3:Oh, absolutely. This is
Speaker 2:like my favorite part of the week. I love doing this. I was in bed last night, and I could not sleep, and I was just thinking of ways. Alright. Well, for those of you guys who are listening, my mom and, like, the other 15 of y'all Yes.
Speaker 4:Our 10 listeners.
Speaker 2:Let me introduce y'all to our guest today. His name is Luke Whitmire.
Speaker 3:What's going on?
Speaker 2:And, Luke, Luke's involved with the ministry in the great city of Oklahoma City called Cross and Crown Ministries. And, we are here today to learn from Luke and his extensive, experience working with, kids from hard places, specifically kids who come from extreme poverty. So, Luke, can you introduce yourself? Tell us about how we know each other. Tell us about your family.
Speaker 2:Tell us about Cross and Crown and what it is that you do there. And then we'll get this thing going.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Could you also share what your favorite coffee shop in Oklahoma City is?
Speaker 2:Luke doesn't go to coffee.
Speaker 3:I don't drink coffee. Oh, no. It like, that's a big disconnect for me and, like, other people that work in ministry and churches.
Speaker 4:I should've done my homework on you.
Speaker 3:Like, I get I mean, I say I like I'm some unique special individual. Anyone that works in ministry, like, coffee is like such a it's like another world. Like, a cold fish following. Anyway, people invite me to coffee, and I'm like, you wanna grab lunch or get a Doctor Pepper or something?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, yeah, I could do coffee. I will say, a buddy of mine and his wife own a, like, local bakery, and they have, like, a small coffee shop in it. So I don't mind putting them
Speaker 2:Yeah. Please do.
Speaker 3:Wild yeah. Wilder coffee.
Speaker 4:Oh, fantastic.
Speaker 3:Had their coffee, but I know it's delicious because they're really good people.
Speaker 2:There you go.
Speaker 4:So when Luke's text somebody, he's like, do you wanna go grab croissants?
Speaker 3:Pretty much what you do. Do you wanna get a sugary I love this. Do you wanna go get a sugary pastry with me?
Speaker 2:You know how much I would love to get a sugary pastry. Oh, also, Luke, just before you get going, because we know how much you like to get going.
Speaker 3:Yep. I
Speaker 2:just wanna let everyone know that Luke and I go way back. Luke and I have known each other since college, like, going on 15 years now. Wow. Yeah. We vacation together.
Speaker 2:Our families do.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And, Luke and I are quite possibly the greatest point guard post duo in the history of Abilene Christian University in your basketball.
Speaker 3:This is true. Although later in our relationship in basketball careers, it's been a little it hasn't been certain who's the point guard and who's the post because Garza had transitioned into a a post guard.
Speaker 2:I love shooting threes.
Speaker 3:He likes to handle the ball, take, you know, take shots, contested shots, that kind of thing. So although what you said is true, it's developed into something quite different now in our adult years. Years.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yeah. But, man, I just love shooting the basketball and not passing. It's my favorite thing. Luke, alright.
Speaker 2:Tell us about Crossing Crown and, the environment there and the types of kids that you work with and what some of the, things that you see on a day to day basis look like?
Speaker 3:I'm a I'm a local missionary. That is my official job title. So I fundraise, and I make connections, so that financially I can, you know, support my family, but also be in a position to work across the crown. We're a nonprofit faith based ministry. We're not a church.
Speaker 3:We're in a old church building. So a lot of people in the community, and even those from outside the community that come to volunteer, they they kind of have a first impression that we're a church because we're in an old building, an old church building. But like I said, we're here because we are faith based. We love Jesus. We want people to know who Jesus is.
Speaker 3:And, so we've situated ourselves in the middle of a community. We would consider this I mean, this community is, what we'd consider low income. It's the working poor. So it's a residential area. Most people rent homes in this neighborhood and community, but they just they're not able to make ends meet.
Speaker 3:A lot of these, families that we are in relationship with are what we consider, like, day wages. So it's not like a 40 hour work week. You know, you have a a job lined up every day. It's you you get a go to a temporary work, get a job, finish that job, and then you're really not sure where your next job's gonna come from. So there's a lot of people on in this community that that's the way they function, that's the way that they were able to get by.
Speaker 3:And so Crossing Crown came along about 20 years ago, and said we wanna help out. We wanna be a part of of this community if they'll allow us. It is their community. That is very important to remember in everything that we do that we are we are visitors in this community. We've been here for 20 years, and we feel like we have some ownership in it.
Speaker 3:But I don't live here. So this is not my this is not my neighborhood. I I certainly love this neighborhood and the people here, and I wanna do everything I can to support them and love them and and point them to Jesus. But when it comes down to it, this is their this is their neighborhood, not mine. And beyond that, this is God's neighborhood, and these are God's people.
Speaker 3:So that's kind of the foundation of of everything that we do here, to kind of to go backwards a little bit and kinda talk about the origins of Crossing Ground and how it began, and and how, you know, my God allowed me to be a part of this ministry. My parents, Paul and Suzanne Whitmire, were a part of a small group, just at their local church, that that we attended growing up, through elementary, middle school, and a little bit into high school. They were part of a small group. We meet every Sunday night. The adults would have a bible study.
Speaker 3:The kids would do fall off, play games, eat, and whatnot. And after doing that for several years, 4 or 5 years, the adults in the group decided after, you know, being prayerful and and studying and being in scripture that they needed to do more. They needed to be doing more than just, building each other up and edifying one another. But how could they, you know, be an impact for their community where they lived and, for those who may be, less fortunate than they were, on a few different levels. And so, just through some exploration of the city and, a lot of lunch breaks, a lot of the, husbands or fathers of the group, they'd meet together, they'd eat lunch, and then they would just drive throughout the city.
Speaker 3:And they would go to very, difficult parts of the city where there's high crime, where there's just a lot of, of poverty, where basically they would look on the news, read the newspaper, wherever the issues were, that's where they wanted to go. They wanted to go into the heaviest, parts of the of the city and figure out what could be done to to basically lend a helping hand and and, see see how they could help. And, so long story, sure, they ended up here at the corner of McKinley and ninth Street. We're in the northwest side of Oklahoma City. The way the city is kinda split up, consider the northwest side, you got the northeast, southeast, southwest, and there's basically those 4 quadrants where each of those, portions of the city kinda have some some they have overlapping issues, but a lot of them have their own individual issues.
Speaker 3:There's, the south side is predominantly Latino in Oklahoma City, whereas the east side is predominantly African American. And then the northwest side that we're on is is a pretty decent blend of of a little bit of everything. And, so it's it's a unique we're in a a unique portion of the city, that we administer in. And, so, anyway, back to the origins of crossing ground. When it when it began, it was, basically a call of obedience.
Speaker 3:They weren't they weren't really sure exactly what they'd be doing, but they knew they needed to do something, so they just showed up, which is something that continues to be a very, foundational effort that we make in just showing up. Those ads would show up. They bring their lunches, and, this building that we're in now is essentially gifted to some extent to us, through fundraising. And, they would show up in this building. They would open the doors.
Speaker 3:They would eat lunch. They would have a bible study, and they would just let anyone walk in that walked in, and, they would try to they would meet needs on the fly. So if there is a mother that walked in and needed food for her baby, they would figure out a way to get formula, like to get diapers, to get baby clothes. If there was a a grandmother that brought grandchildren, couldn't go to school, they needed school uniforms, they would rally the troops, call the church, get people that wanted to help out financially or maybe had some, school uniforms, and they would piece together, different solutions to these problems that were being presented to them. And so, that is the story of how the ministry started.
Speaker 3:From the jump, we are we are prayer ministry. So we pray. That's what we do. We pray with people. We pray with groups.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter what your need is, how big, how small, we're we're gonna pray with you. We're gonna ask Jesus to be a part of of what we're doing. And that, again, that's something that is from the first day that, this this ministry began unofficially even. Prayer has been the foundation of what we do, and, that continues today. Today, we are I guess you could consider, you know, we're a functioning ministry to some extent fully functioning ministry to some extent in terms of what we're attempting to accomplish.
Speaker 3:And what we're attempting to accomplish is meeting the different physical needs of this community. Our objective is that our our our objective and our intentions are to serve this neighborhood, but we accept anyone that wants to be a part of of what we do here. So we do have people that come throughout the city. I mean, people will travel, you know, 20, 30 minutes, which in Oklahoma City is a decent drive, to get to a food pantry or to to receive legal aid or what have you. But we are very intentional with our immediate neighbors.
Speaker 3:We want to know their names. We want to know their children. We want to know their families, who's in their homes. And and that way, the more we learn about them, the more that we think we can be effective in helping them. Currently, we have a food pantry.
Speaker 3:We have a clothing room. We provide medical aid, legal aid, and, then we have our youth center here at Rock Island, which which I'm the director at, that we provide after school program and summer programs, for the the kids of the community. So that that in a roundabout way is is Crossing Crown, and then Rock Island is an extension. Our youth center, Rock Island is an extension of Crossing Crown Mission. But that that is what we do, and that is kind of an overview of of the community that we serve.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, Luke. Thanks so much for sharing that, man. Can can, can you just kinda try to paint a picture for people who are tuned in? What what does a what does a day look like in one of the kids who you serve? What is their environment?
Speaker 2:What are some of the things that they have to, face on a day in and day out basis?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So there's kind of a I don't know. A kid is a kid. Right? So, like, every kid regardless of at least in the United States, I mean, has certain struggles that they're gonna deal with.
Speaker 3:If they're attending school, I mean, every kid's gonna deal to some extent with peers socially with bullying and whatnot, which is, I mean, obviously, it's gotten it's getting worse or it's gotten worse. I mean, that's that's an ongoing struggle with all kids, but I will say in my time here, as a youth director and even before that working as a staff member, it it it is definitely amplified. That is one dimension of being a young person in this this community, this part of the city, in the school system. It's literally the kids know nothing different. They're like, they in fact, conversations I have with them when I you know, you can identify bullying, like, it's not to them, it's not bullying.
Speaker 3:It's just survival. It's just what Right. What happens. And so it's just literally a natural way of life and existence. And so that's one thing I would say that to me I mean, in my I've been here full time for 13 years.
Speaker 3:That is something to me I I know that breaks my heart. That just that that's a reality. That every day, that's a reality. And and it is it is discouraging at times because I'm I'm not sure how that that pattern is broken. But I do think it's important to identify that to let kids know that that's not the way things ought to be.
Speaker 3:It's not the way things should be, and then helping them to combat that and then also be intentional on their end. You know? Helping helping them not to replicate that whether intentionally or unintentionally to other kids that may be at risk. So I think that's really something really important for specifically the kids, you know, in this community that that are coming from difficult places and from from homes, maybe that may not be what they ought to be. But that's definitely one I would highlight that I think is a struggle, and it would be important for somebody to know if they're gonna mentor or to tutor or to whatever capacity be be a part of a kid's life from from a an area where, like like, these kids are coming from.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Something else, I know that kind of a from a broad perspective, something that I didn't grow up in, and so I couldn't relate with it initially when I started working here. But, again, it's it's a reality, and it's more the norm. You know, my norm growing up was you have a mom and a dad, and you may have a sibling or 2, and and that's that. Right?
Speaker 3:I mean, I I have come from a pretty standard middle class family, and so that's what I was used to. But the standard down here is, I would say, probably half the kids that I am in daily relationship with come from homes that a grandparent raises them, and the other half come from a home that it's another adult that they live with. It's not their mom or their dad. It's either an aunt or an uncle or maybe even a cousin that's just a few years older than them that legally has custody of them. You know, a 20 year old cousin and, you know, the student is 16 or something like that.
Speaker 3:So a lot of
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 3:I hesitate because I think it goes deeper than just broken homes because it's not just broken homes. Like, you know, dad left, and so mom takes care of the kids, which which obviously happens. But even beyond that, there's so many of these kids that live with extended family members, and grandparents that don't have the means or the really the ability to raise them, but do so out of just lack of options. So you have a lot of these kids that are essentially raising themselves. You know?
Speaker 3:I mean, the term the latchkey kid, which is definitely true, but, like, it goes so much deeper than just walking home from school and letting yourself in the house and beating yourself. Like, these kids conversations I have with these kids all the time, it's just unbelievable. I mean, these kids are making adult decisions when they're 12, 13. I mean, they're having to make life decisions that I didn't have to make till I was 25. They're doing it in 4th 5th grade.
Speaker 3:And so Yeah. It's really difficult, I think, for a lot of them. And then even as a mentor or as a youth director, as a volunteer, you know, meeting them in those places and just giving them advice and helping them along because they're not really prepared to make a lot of these decisions that they're having to make. So that's 2 or 3 of the primary difficulties or struggles that a lot of these kids that, that I work with, a lot of things that I know that are going on in their in their minds and in their hearts that they struggle with on a daily basis that, again, it's it's become such the norm in all they know that even when you identified in them or in their lives or you make an observation, it's hard for them to even see it because it's all they know. So
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. Well, Luke, I love I mean, just the picture that you painted of how the issue is deeper than broken homes and broken families. And and when you talk about bullying being being something that a kid does to survive, not just I mean, when I was bullied as a kid, I knew it was not normal. I knew that this relationship was different than other ones where I feel cared for, protected, known, but there might be kids in our communities that have never experienced that side.
Speaker 4:And so there I just think that's such a great picture of what's normal to us isn't normal to them. Right. So what what would you say to a mentor who, yeah, I mean, is is coming into that space and and looking to understand and grow in clarity of I mean, I think it's not just as simple as I can solve this bullying issue Mhmm. And and teach him this is not how to live or this is not what you do. How how do you actually create change as a mentor within that space, or is that even your role?
Speaker 3:Right. Yeah. So I think, I briefly touched on it, and then you, also spoke to it. I think the first thing would be for a mentor or somebody, an adult, that's stepping into a relationship with a young person that is experiencing that. I think first is to call it like it is, is to first identify it as something that's a certain way that should not be that way.
Speaker 3:And that's tough. You have you have to earn that space. You can't, you know, you can't meet a kid, and they say something sideways to another kid and then be like, hey. You know? What what are you doing?
Speaker 3:You can't bully him. That's that's wrong. You can't do like, I know that, you know, that may here and there, that may be necessary. But in my experience, that's not the way to to generate or to begin impact or change in a kid, a lot. Or I know the kids that I work with, you have to earn their trust.
Speaker 3:You have to earn that space to speak to them in that way. Whether you're even if what you're saying is a 100% true, you still have to earn that time and that space to have that conversation, for them to believe you, to to value what you have to say. So I think first, you you need to spend time with the kid. You need to spend time. And it doesn't have to be some spectacular grandiose experience.
Speaker 3:It just needs to literally be minutes and hours spent with that kid, whether it's playing video games, playing basketball, you know, listening to music. I mean, even sitting down and watching a goofy show with the kid and just fit being physically present with them and laughing with them, like, that generates comfort, for that child where they they begin to trust you. And I think then once you've earned that trust, which comes from time, I think then you can speak to that child's life and say, hey. You know what? You know, Zach, you know, I've I've noticed this about you.
Speaker 3:When you speak to people with their other kids in this way, like, I don't know if you know it, but it's it's it's harsh. It's mean. And I think it upsets them. It doesn't make them feel good about themselves. And, you know, that's all they know because that's how they're spoken to at home or at school.
Speaker 3:And so so letting them know, like, this is not the way we are to speak to people. This is not kind. And then encouraging them to speak kindly or to to change their behaviors towards other kids that you observe that to to give them, tips or clues or hints or examples of, hey. Next time, next time this kid steals the basketball from you, maybe don't yell at him. Just be like, hey, man.
Speaker 3:You can you can play with me. Like, we can share. Like, you pass me the ball, I'll shoot, you rebound, then I'll pass to you and you shoot. You know? So giving them practical examples of of how to engage with kids, you know, if that kid is the one that is the one bullying, I think that you earn that that respect, that trust, you speak truth into their lives, and then you give them practical examples of of what it looks like to kinda flesh out what you're speaking to them.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Wow. Training a kid in how to respond rightly within that situation, which I think is tough to figure out, I mean, I guess you're being trained in a different way of living, and the mentor is creating a contrast between relational experiences. And so I'm sure you've dealt with a lot of tension in that moment of trying to retrain someone's response to something that's negative. I'm sure that takes a lot of time for the kid to eventually be, like, you know what?
Speaker 4:I actually do want you to play basketball with me, like, and and that that space really is determined by how much experience this kid has in someone kind of training and calling him up into that way of living.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:And I I think at the same time, it kinda connects to your point about 11 12 year olds having to make adult decisions. Kids should not have to figure out how to build bridges with other kids like that and be the be the main cog that determines if a relationship is healthy or not.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:And so I think that's a really tough thing that probably mentors don't recognize that actually being a kid in a hard place, you actually have to have a lot of compassion and kindness and grace for the people that you're in relationship with.
Speaker 3:Right. Yeah. You're right. And and to speak into that even like, I think about so I have I have 2 children. My wife is pregnant, but even the 2 that I have now, like, I spend or they spend even when school's in, they spend close to half of their day with me.
Speaker 3:So 50% of their days with me. I can't get my children to do what I ask them or tell them to do 20% of the time the first time. Right? And they have extensive time and trust and relationship built with me. So then you come to this kid that's coming from a hard place that you see for an hour a day, 2, 3 times a week.
Speaker 3:I mean, it's gonna take a while. Like, you speak I think sometimes it gets frustrating because you think, well, I'm speaking truth, and I'm speaking honestly, and I'm speaking from a heart that cares. And so, you know, why won't this child behave in a certain way that I desire them to? You have to consider 95% of their day is spent in an environment whether at home or at school where they're told in that they're being told the complete opposite. And so and again, that's where that's where he's a ministry where our where prayer for us is so crucial because we're working against the odds, and we know that.
Speaker 3:Like, this is for all intents and purpose, I mean, this this battle that we're fighting, and we can I mean, it's a it's a spiritual battle for these children and their hearts and their spirits? Like, we know that the odds are stacked against them, but we trust that Jesus is bigger and and more powerful than any circumstance that they could be in. And so when we tell the the kids these things or when we encourage mentors to speak these truths into people, we also kinda have to curb their enthusiasm or their expectations. Say, listen. Like, it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 3:Like, today, probably not next week, probably not in a month. It may not even happen this year. Like, this is a conversation you're having now that you may not see the fruit of this for another 2, 3 years. So buckle up. Like, I hope you're in this for the long haul because this is this is a relationship.
Speaker 3:This is not, you know, a come and go check your punch card thing off. Like, if you're if you wanna see real change and real, real difference, then you better be prepared to put in real time and and spend a lot of time in prayer because that's what, again, that's been our experience and that's that's the way that we function.
Speaker 2:That's so good, Luke. For all intents and purposes, we are fighting an uphill battle. Right?
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:I know for me, it is easy to get discouraged from time to time. Can, you shed some light on how you someone who spends day in and day out with these kids and who has been doing that for the last, you know, 13 years, how do you stay encouraged? How do you, keep from getting discouraged and believing the lies that, man, this kid's too hard. I am I am I can't change him in all of those lies.
Speaker 3:Right. So I'd say 2 things. Excuse me. And and both of these things were were things that probably for the first 4 or 5 years that I worked with youth from this community and from from this neighborhood that I that I didn't know. And the 1st 4 or 5 years that I worked here, I would I would become extremely discouraged.
Speaker 3:I would get frustrated, at myself. I get frustrated at kids. I'd become impatient with kids, like, vocally. Like, I would my effort and my energy towards the kids would be less than. Like, it would fluctuate just based on basically the results that I was seeing from what I thought, you know, I had earned.
Speaker 3:You know, I had said the right things and done the right things and, you know, put a lot of energy into certain kids, and I wasn't getting what I thought were appropriate results. And so there were there were times early on in ministry where I questioned, you know, like, first of all, is this even worth it? Like, is this just all for naught? And then even beyond that, like, do I really wanna do this? Like, do I really wanna commit my life to this when, like, it's pointless?
Speaker 3:Like, what is what's what's the end all here? You know? But 2 things that really changed my perspective and and give me energy and give me vision and give me give me purpose, is to even look beyond just the kids. So, like and what I mean by that is 2 things. The first, I'll kind of lay out and flush out for you.
Speaker 3:The second is success stories. So, like, kids that were hard to deal with, like, toughest of the tough, and then building those relationships with them, and then them coming back years later and being, like, this is who I am, this is where I am, and then saying thank you. Like, those, like, I'd say 1st and foremost, like, those are the ones that give you energy and fuel, like, future work. Like, you got a kid, which I I'll tell a story of a certain kid here in a minute. I mean, that's one thing that definitely, energizes you and and fuels you, going forward.
Speaker 3:But that can't be it. That can't be everything because if those don't come, then then you fizzle out. And so what I learned is, as I just grew in my walk and grew in my faith, spent more time in scripture, and spent more time praying, is I realized that it's not what I was doing before in ministry with kids was it was the equation was me plus the kid equals whatever the result, whatever the endgame is. And the problem was I thought I was too big of a factor in that. I thought I was the factor in that or or whoever the mentor was.
Speaker 3:What I learned is in reading through scripture is that, like, yeah, the harvest is plentiful, and I'm a worker. That's great. But, like, I can plant and I can dig and I can water, but god's the one that makes it grow.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 3:And so, like, I can I can work and work and work, which I need to be doing that, but, like, Jesus is the one that determines the win? Like, it's going to grow, and I have faith that it's going to grow. I know it's going to grow. There's no doubt in my mind that each of these kids that I work with, there's going to be fruit. The difference is I don't know what that fruit is and when it's gonna happen.
Speaker 3:Only Jesus does. And so that's why we pray with these kids. That's why we commit them to Jesus. We want them to know Jesus because we obviously want that that harvest to be as plentiful as possible. But even if it's not, even if it's a little fruit, then it's still worth it.
Speaker 3:And so each of these kids, it's almost like now I've gotten to where the more frustrating and the more difficult they are, well, the bigger the payoff is in the end for them because look how much they have to gain from getting something right or from having, you know, something go their way, you know, in their home life or at school or in their personal lives. Like, those are the ones that Jesus uses and create something beautiful out of because, you know, they were the furthest down, in the barrel as they could get and look how far they've come. And so so those 2 things. The first one would be realizing that it's not about me and it's not even really about the kid, but it's about Jesus working in them and and him being the one that lets that fruit produce that fruit, in their lives. And then second would be success stories.
Speaker 3:They're hearing certain kids come back and basically say thank you or, you know, say, well, this is where I am now, you know, thanks to to Rock Island or to my mentor or or what have you. So
Speaker 4:The I can dig, I can water, I can plant, but God causes the growth. Usually, when people say that, what they are getting at is that I my contribution isn't the main thing. God's contribution is the main thing. But what you just said was that whatever a man sows, that is what he'll reap. And you you brought in a perspective of God's going to make this grow.
Speaker 4:God's going to use what I pour in and what I plant and what I dig. And I think that that is a a beautiful perspective that that doesn't just, you know, kind of false humility put down our work and our contribution, but actually there's a belief that God is going to use this. Like, God's gonna use what I plant and dig, and so which I thought that that was just really good, Luke.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And and and something else I'll add to that is, again, something I've only worked with the understanding of the last 7 or 8 years is, like, it's an honor to be to work with these students and these kids that are coming from difficult places. I mean, it's difficult. Sure. But, like like, you described, Steven, I mean, god is going to make it grow.
Speaker 3:Like, I wanna be a part of that.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, I wanna be the one that plants. I wanna be the one that waters. I wanna be the one that steps into that to to see what happens, because I I I wanna see the end game here. Like, I don't wanna I don't wanna miss out. Because if I don't do it, someone else is going to do it.
Speaker 3:Hopefully, someone else is gonna do it, but I'm gonna beat them to it. Like, I don't like, I wanna see, like, what God's gonna do here. And so that's not my only encouragement, but that's definitely something that fuels me because I'm excited to see like, yeah, I I love these kids, and I love my job. And, like, I'm honored and blessed to be here, but, like, ultimately, I wanna see God. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And so and and I do through through these kids and through their stories and through their lives. And so, I mean, that's definitely something that energizes me. I I can't imagine doing anything different. I'm I'm just not aware. I'm I know that God is working in other places even outside of ministry, in the business sector, and what have you.
Speaker 3:But I I want more of it. I I wanna see more of it.
Speaker 2:Man, just like continuing on, just how how do we continue down the path that the Lord has for us whenever whenever it does get hard. I remember there was a there was a situation between a person who you guys served and, your dad a couple years ago, and I just wanna know if, you could talk about that story.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And that this this is a story of every emotion possible. My my father, his name is Paul. He's a director here at Crossing Ground. And, people in the community, they call him pastor Paul.
Speaker 3:That's just that's what they call him. We serve so, like, we our demographic of individuals we serve ranges from homeless individuals to working class, you know, Latino, African American, Native American, Caucasian. I mean, it's it's a very mixed bag where we are. But everyone, even Spanish speaking, pastor Paul, pastor Paul. I recall some pastor Paul.
Speaker 3:So he my father my father is well known around here just because he has a heart, the heart of Jesus, the heart of a servant. And so he's built a reputation of just caring for this neighborhood even before I was here. This is probably, shoot, 5 years ago. We had our after school program. I had probably 30, 35 kids in the youth center.
Speaker 3:It was a hangout day. So kids pretty wild here on hangout days. Kids are eating pizza, playing video games, playing basketball, air hockey, pool. I mean, it's it's a madhouse around here. These 2 little girls approached me.
Speaker 3:They were probably I knew one of them. She was 13 years old, and then she had a friend with her that was maybe 9 or 10. I think they were school classmates. They pointed outside and they said that there was a a lady who appeared to be on the streets. I'm not sure if she was homeless or not, but she she appeared to be on the streets pretty frequently, and she had a little dog with her on a leash.
Speaker 3:And the young girl that was visiting with her friend that day said, that's my dog. That lady has my dog. I lost my dog a couple days ago, and that's it. That's my dog. And so, you know, I'm saying, okay.
Speaker 3:Alright. Hold on. Let's hold on. Tell me what happened, you know, that kind of thing. So we step outside.
Speaker 3:The lady with the dog had actually stopped at the corner. So she was sitting there. I was talking to the 2 young girls outside, and I said, okay. What happened? They said, well, my dog went missing a couple days ago.
Speaker 3:It's a puppy, and we just got it. And we I live around the corner, and that lady that's that's my dog that lady has. And so I didn't know the lady, which I mean, it's not that unusual for me not to know her, but we know most of the people, especially those on the streets that are, you know, walking back and forth because they kinda stay in one area. But I didn't recognize her. But so I I waved her down, and she looked skeptical as I approached her.
Speaker 3:And I said, hey, ma'am. I'm sorry. My name is Luke. You know, I said, I'm the youth director here. And I said, if I could just ask you about your dog for a second.
Speaker 3:And before I could even get it out of my mouth, she begins to curse at me. What are you what the heck? You blah blah blah. This what are you cute? What are you doing?
Speaker 3:This kind of thing. It just immediately goes into defense mode. And so I had a pretty good idea that was probably not her dog. And so I said I said, ma'am, this this this girl here, she lost her dog a couple days ago. We we're looking for her dog.
Speaker 3:So would you be able to help her? Are you do you know where this dog is from? And as we're talking, a gentleman walks up, and he's he's he's saying, hey. Who why are you talking to my girl? Why are you talking to my girl?
Speaker 3:And I said, I I'm asking her about her dog. And, again, I immediately associate myself with the the ministry, so there you know, that diffuses it a little bit. I'm here with Crossing Crown. I work at Crossing Crown, you know, that kind of thing. And, yeah, this is our dog.
Speaker 3:We've had it for we've had it since it was born. We picked it out of litter and that kind of thing. And so he starts kinda giving a history. I said, okay. Alright.
Speaker 3:You know, I just tried to diffuse it and just step away because it was not it wasn't going any well we're good any anytime soon. So I pulled back, and the little girl that said it was her last dog starts whispering to her friend while I'm talking to the adults. And so the adults leave, I walk away, and the girl that I knew who her friend was whispering to her, she goes, hey, Luke. That's not her dog. And I said, what?
Speaker 3:And she goes, well, once we got closer, she decided that's not her dog. It's a different kind. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, I just accused them of stealing your dog, you know, that kind of thing. So, you know, I kinda felt bad about it, but no big deal.
Speaker 3:No harm, no foul. And, so we go back inside, back to the crazy house with all the kids. That couple, they walk up the street. Well, my dad was across the street fixing a trailer. And, he saw us talking, but he didn't know what it was about.
Speaker 3:He just observed. About 20 minutes later, one of our middle school kids who had not been in the youth center comes ripping through the front door screaming, they got Paul. They got Paul. They did it. They jumped Paul.
Speaker 3:And so I'm thinking right. I mean, they jumped Paul. Around here, that means 4 or 5 guys are beating someone up on the ground, kicking them in the face, that kinda thing. So I sprint out the door. I knew my dad where he was, and I sprint back there.
Speaker 3:And as I'm running, I, like, I literally almost brushed shoulders with the guy running the other way. And I'd never seen the guy, didn't know him, but all I knew is I just needed to get to my dad. And so I I run inside this gate, and I get to my dad, and he's hunched hunched over, holding his face. It's like, dad, what happened? What happened?
Speaker 3:What happened? He said he said, that that guy just sucker punched me out of nowhere. He did and he kinda had some blood, but he was, you know, he wasn't knocked out or anything like that. And so I I kinda put 22 together. He was the guy that just ran past me.
Speaker 3:So I turned around just in my rage. I'm hot right now. Like, I'm in flight or fight mode right now. So this guy's sprinting down the street, and so I start chasing him. And I get probably, I mean, 50 yards into it.
Speaker 3:And I'm like, what am I doing? Like like, I'm literally about to, like, tackle this guy and what, like, fight him. So I kind of come to and I turn around and go back to my dad. And I'm like, dad, what happened? He's like, that guy never knew.
Speaker 3:He just he walked up to me friendly, and then he said, hey. Why are you talking to my woman? I said, what are you talking about? What I'm not and the guy said, you harassing her about her dog. And my dad said, I have I'm sorry, man.
Speaker 3:I don't and he said he was talking to him. You just punched him in the face and ran off. And I was like, oh my gosh, dad. That punch was supposed to be for me. That was my punch, and I couldn't see it coming.
Speaker 3:And so my dad's like, no. Don't. I said, I saw the dude. I said he rounded the corner by somebody's house that we know. I said, I'll go see if he's in that house.
Speaker 3:And he's like, no, Luke. Don't. It's fine. I'm fine. That kind of thing.
Speaker 3:And so I'm still no. This is my dad. Like, he's he's 60 years old. Like, some 30 year old dude just put it like, no. Like, that's not okay.
Speaker 3:And so, anyway, I go back to the youth center. We got about 20 minutes before we close, and I'm like, alright. You know what? We're shutting it down. Because all the kids know what happened by this time.
Speaker 3:Had some high school kids there. Actually, the kid that at this point that wasn't that was gonna live with me, I didn't know it yet, but that Garza mentioned earlier, he big he's a large kid. About 6 6, 250. He and his some of his homies were there, and they heard about it. And they said they said, oh, we're going to find him right now.
Speaker 3:We'll we'll figure this out. And so I'm trying to guys, no. Don't do that. Don't hunt him down. Don't you know?
Speaker 3:Oh, they hit pastor Paul. It's on. It's oh, it's over. We'll hit. It's no big deal.
Speaker 3:That kinda thing. So, I mean, word spreads quick that, like, this is what's happened. Pastor Paul got hit. I mean, no lie. Within an hour, I had 10 people from the streets that came up to me and said, is pastor Paul okay?
Speaker 3:Where is he at? Is he who did it? Where is he? Where did he go? So, like, on one end, it's it's like, oh, cool.
Speaker 3:The the community has our back. Like, awesome. This dude like, this guy's got it coming for him. But then what what I didn't know is I as I'm dismissing all the kids for the day, there were about 4 or 5 kids. It was their first time there.
Speaker 3:I never met him before. All sibling or a couple siblings and some cousins. And as, you know, all these these big boys are talking about who knows it, who's that guy, who they're trying to figure out who the dude is that hit pastor Paul, these this group of, 4 or 5 kids get really quiet. They get really quiet. And I I noticed that they're really quiet, and so I approached them.
Speaker 3:And once all the kids left, I said, did you do you know who that guy was? I said, yeah. That's our uncle. And I and I could tell they were scared. They want they didn't wanna tell me that was their uncle.
Speaker 3:And I said, does he live with you? And they said they said, yeah. He just he just got out of jail a couple days ago, and he's been living with us the last couple days. And then one of the younger kids said, do we get to come back? Can we still come back?
Speaker 3:And I told him, yeah. Y'all can come back. Y'all can come tomorrow. It's not your fault. Tried to let him know.
Speaker 3:You know, that's it's not you're not responsible for that. You guys come back. Please come back tomorrow. And so I told Paul, and he he said the same thing. He said, yeah.
Speaker 3:I've never seen the guy before. And we knew I knew where those kids lived, and I knew where that guy was. And I, in fact, later that night, whenever all the big boys I'm not no lie. It was 9, 10 o'clock at night, and they said, hey. We found out where he lived.
Speaker 3:We're going to his house right now. And I called the the main kid that I knew well, and I said, do not go to his house. I said, you know, it'll just escalate. It'll just make it worse. He's still in high school.
Speaker 3:You you'll get in trouble at school. You won't be able to play basketball. Be smart about it. And so that was that, and those kids were scared to death. Sadly, that's one of those things.
Speaker 3:Those kids never came back. They were too scared. They got back to the house. I didn't see him that week. So we actually went to the house.
Speaker 3:We went to the house where I knew they lived, where we knew that guy was. And, the grandmother that that owned the house that was letting their uncle stay there and letting those kids stay there made him leave because she found out that he hit pastor Paul, and she was scared what was gonna what was gonna happen to him. And so on our part, we were a little late. We wanted to give them space to let him know nothing was gonna happen. But what happened was that grandma got scared of others that were maybe out for him.
Speaker 3:And so and so they ran, so we didn't get a chance to see those kids again. And so that was tough. That was tough to process. And so so now looking back, I mean, there's there's obviously some humor in it, but there's also a lot of heartbreak in that. That again is one of those things that those kids, like, that's their reality.
Speaker 3:That's their life. And, yeah, they were scared in the moment, but chances are stuff like that happens all the time in the household, full of individuals that have gone to prison. And and what's really sad, to think is that that uncle who's now adult who's who's my age, he was that same kid 20 years ago growing up in a house where his uncle was getting out of jail. And so so that's what we're faced with. That's the uphill battle of whatever you wanna call it, whether whether you wanna call it poverty or, you know, whatever other tag you wanna put on it, the cycle of poverty.
Speaker 3:That's what we're working against, and that's why that's why that's why we need Jesus to step into these difficult circumstances because we can't do it. Like I said, we could plant and we could water. We could do all these different things. Like, Jesus is the only one that really makes a difference in that household. The really the only one that can get to those children hearts to help them to identify this is not the way things should be.
Speaker 3:And so that's our prayer. That's our hope. I mean, even when those kids left, there was another adult that was with me there at Rock Island that day that they they hadn't been there that long. They said, what do you what do we do? What do we what what do we do?
Speaker 3:And I didn't really know what to tell them in that moment. But later that day, I called and said, just pray. I mean and it's not just praying. Like, that's the best thing you could do. Pray for those kids, pray for their hearts, and pray for their lives.
Speaker 3:And so that's what we do. That's what we do. We pray because a lot of these things are out of our control. So, I wasn't gonna preface that story by saying, I think I've told that story maybe, 2 or 3 times, like, in a church setting when I've preached, and then once, like, in a small group, and I've never told that story without crying. So I thought I was gonna break that streak.
Speaker 2:That's okay.
Speaker 3:And it's just not gonna be me. So yeah. I take that.
Speaker 4:That's powerful, man. I take that one. So powerful.
Speaker 2:Yep. I know with us, like, there there's been times whenever because of the choices that we've made to build relationships with the types of kids who we build relationships with, that it's caused us heartache. Like, it's hurt my wife. It's hurt my kids. Like, it's hurt me.
Speaker 2:And how how do you continue to to mentor and to build relationships and to show back up whenever something something happens that hurts you?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So something that I came to the realization, Again, I feel like 7 or 8 years ago, I referenced that a lot. There wasn't, like, a actual, like, event I can identify, but it just seems like that's kind of where in my adult life, that I really started taking, like, the claims of scripture, like, literally started living them the best I could. I mean, I fail every day, but, like, I'm intentional about that. And about that time, I think it's just kinda cheesy, but this is something significant for me.
Speaker 3:I mean, I know Zach, even us at at ACU, I think a song that we sang in chapel and something I grew up singing in church. The song that it part of the lyrics are break break my heart for what breaks yours. And whenever I begin to pray that and really desire that, Jesus did that. And so, like, even the tears that I cry now over the stories and the children, like, those things break Jesus's heart. And so, like, he he he took me pretty serious when I asked him to do that.
Speaker 3:And, and like you said, it is difficult and it is heartbreaking, and it it's also very significant to identify, like, just like you did, Zach, that, like, my wife doesn't work here full time, but, like, her heart is broken on a weekly basis from the stories and the children that she knows. And it affects, I mean, it affects your family. Like, it's a family ministry and it's a family choice. So that that I think that's really important to to say like you did, Zach. But I'll also say, like, the stories of the kids and hearing having them come back, and I'm just now in the last few years, I I mean, I've known the kids when we first started this ministry.
Speaker 3:I knew them when they were I knew some of them when they were literally born, but, like, the first group were they were, like, 6 or 7 years old. And so now that I'm a little over 10 years into it, a lot of those kids are post high school now. So some of them have children, and some of them either went to school or got a job, or are married or in very serious relationships. And, a lot of those conversations that I have with them, a lot of my time and my actual work, probably close to a quarter of it is spent in relationship with those students that aren't actually a part of the ministry anymore. And I I gain a lot of energy and a lot of, joy from those relationships hearing them and seeing them in their adult lives and just being a continued encouragement for them.
Speaker 3:Because just because you graduate high school or, you know, you reach a certain age, it doesn't mean that, like, you're automatically unable to be mentored or have someone speak, like, life into you. You know? Even as a 36 year old, like, I need those people in my life too. Just because I'm a dad and have kids doesn't mean I don't need someone older than me and wiser than me telling me, okay, this is gonna happen. This is what you're gonna do, and this is how you're gonna feel.
Speaker 3:And this is this is a way to to handle that. So I get a lot of joy and a lot of energy from, you know, the post grad, students, so to speak, and and just having conversations with them, especially when they especially when they're the ones that hit me up first rather than me reaching out and saying, hey. Checking in with you. Like, if I get a text or, like, a Facebook message from a kid, they're, like, really especially the ones that they leave on bad terms. I'm like, man, I really missed the opportunity with that kid.
Speaker 3:And they come back 3, 4 years later, and they're like, hey, man. You said this to me. And, like, that stuck. Like, that I really felt that. Those are the ones that really do, like, push me to to continue to do what I do for sure.
Speaker 2:Man, look, that's so good. Yeah, man. I mean, because it's hard. I mean, like
Speaker 3:Yeah. I
Speaker 2:mean, this is a hard week. Like, just in our in our program and just with some of the kids who we spend time with, man. It's it is just just feels like there's anything kinda kinda going our way. And man, I just can't help but think that the enemy sees us building relationships with these kids who he's had his way with for generations. Right?
Speaker 2:And he sees us spending time with them. He sees us loving them. And he sees us breaking that cycle kid by kid, relationship by relationship. And, man, he wants to do everything he can to end that. And so, man, I mean, like, we can't we can't allow the enemy to discourage us from doing the work that the Lord has called us to do, because he's out there and he wants to take us out.
Speaker 2:Because he wants to keep those kids in poverty. He wants to keep those kids in just that cycle of hurt. Right? And so man, it is just so Yep. It's just so good to hear ways that we can stay stay in the path that the lord has for us.
Speaker 2:So Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Luke, could you could you share about, just something that's been in my head as we've been talking is scripture that just calls us to weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice. I think, particularly, a lot of a lot of the time, lament is something that a lot of mentors face, when they enter into an experience of someone that is so different from them is on the other side of the tracks Mhmm. And learning how to lament and not just, you know, throw shade or, feed into a narrative of these are just bad kids. I think that's always something that mentors experience. But could you share yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean, even just on that side of how you and your your family rejoice with those who rejoice and, because I think I think mentors would love to to figure out practical ways of how how to rejoice in the mentor relationship and, rejoice over the little things.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Right. So I think I think the first thing I would encourage someone to do, I don't know this is the only way to do it, but I think it would be the most responsible way to do it is to have a mentality or a mindset that that's your intention. So, like, when you decide to tutor or mentor or just show up even to be available to a student, my encouragement would be go into it with the understanding that you're you're in it regardless. Right?
Speaker 3:So and, again, I don't know what that looks like. Different programs have requirements of, like, time or, you know, objectives to complete or whatnot. We're the way that our ministry works here is a little different. We're a little more fluid. But what I do ask of people is have the understanding that, like, whatever happens, like, you're in it.
Speaker 3:So because every kid's different. Right? Like, there's no cookie cutter, like, solution for, okay. After you you're here for a week, this is gonna happen, and your kid's gonna tell you this. They're gonna share with you this intimate information about their lives, and this is what you say.
Speaker 3:Like, there's not and we all know that, like, self consciously, but, like, really being honest about it, I think, is helpful because you may meet with a kid one time. And I had no lie. 2 weeks ago, I had a kid meet with a tutor. So the arrangement was helping with homework, reading a a Bible story, and then talking about that Bible story, and then praying together. And this student, the first time they met, it was like he was looking for someone just to be there for him to say this.
Speaker 3:He when they were praying, the the gentleman said, what would you like to pray about? And this young kid, no older than 10 years old said, well, I'm I wanna thank God. What we do is we we name something we're thankful for, and then we name something that we would like God to show up for him to step into. And so for the thankful portion, he said, I'm thankful that I have a house. You know, pretty pat answer.
Speaker 3:My kids pray for we pray for provision and for our house and our clothes and, you know, our food so this could set his house. Well, the the tutor dug a little deeper and he said, why are you thankful for your house? You know, expecting, you know, pat reply. And the kid said, well, my house got raided last night, and the police came in and broke pretty much everything, but at least we still have a house. Okay.
Speaker 3:So now as a tutor, you have a choice. You can pray about it and then decide, you know what? I'm really not interested in getting into the details why the police broke in, why who in that house is causing them concern that they need to be there. Because if you do that, that that opens up a can. Admittedly, like, you're you're stepping into a very sticky, intricate situation if you decide to follow-up with that kid about what's happened in his house.
Speaker 3:And then you have to make another decision. Are you gonna be a part of the solution, or are you gonna step back and just fade fade into the shadows whenever, like, some practical application is required? So, like, if that happens again and this kid, what if they decide to completely vacate the house and know we can live in the house? Then what? And you don't know where the kid's gonna live.
Speaker 3:Like, are you gonna come up with some money to help them get a hotel? Are you gonna invite them into your house? So, like, it plays itself out that way. So my so my encouragement with somebody is be prepared to for things to get messy. Kinda like what you said, Steven.
Speaker 3:Like, you're gonna mourn with those who mourn. You're gonna weep with those who weep. You're gonna celebrate with those who celebrate. Well, this is one of those experiences of stepping into a difficult situation and being a part of it. Even not even necessarily having a solution.
Speaker 3:Just being shoulder to shoulder with someone in solidarity and saying, listen. Like, I don't know what we're gonna do, but I'm here. Like, you're not alone. Like, that's a really big deal. And in fact, I'd say probably half of the different issues that we run into here with the kids, whether it be at school or at home or in relationships, like, half the time, our solution is, hey, man.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna do here, but I'm here. So if if I figure out something, then you're with me. And if you think of something, then I'll help you do that too. But, like, this is us.
Speaker 3:You're not alone in this. I'm here with you. Your tutor's here with you. You know, you got a sibling here. We're all in this together.
Speaker 3:So, like, there there's just a lot of peace in knowing that. So that's what I that's my encouragement to to mentors is, like, just be prepared to shoulder that with people. Just like the scripture said that you read, Steven, or that you recited, like, that the practical application of that is just be prepared to do whatever. Like, you're either in it or you're out. And and I think it does in fact, I think the risk is it does more harm if you decide you're in early on and then the things get tough and you just step back.
Speaker 3:And that's always that happens, and that that's difficult to to see, because a lot of these kids are used to that. They see people in and out of their homes, boyfriends in and out of their homes, girlfriends in and out of their homes, relatives. So, like, they're used to that, just the those fluid relationships. So to them, it's no big deal if you dip out early on in in mentoring, but it causes it causes pain that maybe they're even unaware of that at that point in their time because they're, I mean, they're children. So That's
Speaker 2:good, Luke. Thanks, buddy.
Speaker 4:I I think when you mentor kids who have a lack of resources, that that creates a myriad of other issues. I think one one that our mentors face a lot is a lack of communication, with the
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:The guardians, the parents. And so I wonder if you could speak to any any strategies that you found helpful in connecting with kids when really communication is difficult and you can't get a hold of them. And, how do you chase them down? And what does that look like when you live in a city like Dallas? I mean, I'm sure it's it's different, but I'm sure it's similar in OKC.
Speaker 4:You just don't have to deal with traffic.
Speaker 3:So exactly. Which is, like, a blessing from God himself. It's like manna falling down from sky, no traffic. So our our youth center is unique in the fact that, like, I described earlier. I mean, we are in a neighborhood.
Speaker 3:Like, we're in a community residential neighborhood, but we do I do, on a weekly, daily basis, deal with lack of communication from adults or whoever the guardian is. One of the primary reasons is because guardianship changes so frequently. Like, there are so many of these children that one week, their grandmother has guardianship, and then 2, 3 months later, like I said, their uncle does. And so and house jumping is pretty pretty common around here, even within the neighborhood. I mean, I have students that literally have 3 or 4 different relatives in the neighborhood that live no less than half a mile away from each other, but they stay at a different house 2, 3 times a week or yeah.
Speaker 3:2, 3 times a week. And And so it's kinda hard to identify. Okay. Who's really responsible for this child? Sadly, the parents or the guardians that I know the most or I am communicating with, that I've been intentional with the most, and then I don't know if it's because of lack of staffing or it's just the nature of the work here, but are the kids that tend to be the most trouble, the ones that are the most at risk.
Speaker 3:Or maybe that's, you know, maybe that's a blessing for god. Maybe those kids needed the extra attention and surveillance. I don't know. But it's not uncommon for me to meet a, a parent or a guardian after an issue has occurred, like, at the youth center. So, like, for instance, couple year a couple summers ago, our gaming system, we had Xbox literally was stolen from the youth center while we were open, like, just plain as day.
Speaker 3:Someone just put it in their backpack, put all the controllers in their backpack, and they just dipped out. And, like, that was it. And so, of course, you know, the the hood culture, like, no one's gonna snitch. No one's gonna tell you who it was. Like, okay.
Speaker 3:So what I do is everything we early on, we would have things disappear early on in our ministry. Like video games or a controller would disappear. So, you know, we're just the ignorant white guys from the suburbs. We'll just go buy a new controller. Let's just go buy a new video game.
Speaker 3:We have the resources for it. But the deeper we got into the work here, if something disappears, okay, sorry. We don't have that anymore. So you guys can't play Halo anymore. You can't play NBA 2 k anymore.
Speaker 3:So after school hangout's gonna be pretty boring. And so that's what we did. So we didn't have a gaming system for 4 or 5 days, and then finally, a group of 5 or 6 boys approached me one day, and they're like, okay. Zach stole the gaming system. It's at his house.
Speaker 3:He has it set up in his mom's bedroom. It's the 2nd bedroom on the left. Like, just very, very intimate details of, like they're like, okay. Enough is enough. We want our gaming system back.
Speaker 3:And so I go to the kid's house. Just I just show up. And I knew a little bit about this kid's home life just from word-of-mouth, and I knew it was probably gonna be a little rough. But, like, I'm not opposed to just entering into those I don't know. I wouldn't consider them dangerous.
Speaker 3:My my wife might. But, like, I'm just curious. And I wanna know people, and I wanna know what they're going on. I I'm a person of peace, and so I feel like I can diffuse situations if necessary. But I walked up on that porch, and there is a large gentleman on that porch, African American guy.
Speaker 3:And he said, what the age are you doing here? And I said, I've named the kid's name, so I I let him know I know who this kid is. I said, is he here? Could I talk to him? He said, what do you wanna talk to him about?
Speaker 3:And I said, well, I'd like to talk to him and tell him what was going on. This woman walks outside and said, are you Luke? And I said, yes, ma'am. I am Luke. And she goes, I need to talk to you.
Speaker 3:And so I was like, wait. No. I'm here to talk to y'all. Like, y'all what am I in trouble for? And so she invites me in her home, and I go and sit down, and there's 3 or 4 other African American men in there staring a hole through me.
Speaker 3:She brings the kid out, and she says, he owes this is not his system, is it? And I said, no, ma'am. That's not his gaming system. And she said, he told us that you gave it to him. And I said, no.
Speaker 3:That's not how it happened. And so she went on to make him force him to tell me basically what it tell her what had happened. And she was very apologetic. And she was very like, I was blown away. I went there to basically set things right, and she took care of that for me.
Speaker 3:What I found out was this mother cared deeply about her child. She was unaware a little bit of of different things that were going on in his life, but she wanted more than I did, more than I could, want for her own child for things to be made right, for him to make right decisions, and for him to be responsible for his wrongdoing. They they've moved in the last couple years, and so I I kind of I've lost that relationship. But while she was here, she taught me more about ministry and about this community and about children than I had learned in 10 years. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:She lived it. So, like, why wouldn't she have be an expert in her own environment? And she spoke to me. She told me about her child. When I told her she asked what was the discipline or what was gonna happen.
Speaker 3:And I told her, you know, I don't like to ban kids from a youth center because if I do, then they're just in the streets, and then they're just at risk. And I said, I just I don't enjoy doing that. And so I said, you know, maybe I'll make him clean up when he's here, make him do some chores, whatnot. And she said, listen. If you do not make him pay for what he did, whatever you decide to do, then all these kids will think that they can just do whatever they want and get away with anything.
Speaker 3:He needs to find out now that he can't get away with this. So later in life, he'll basically learn that you can't get away with stuff. And I said, yes, ma'am. I will do that. And so we created a way.
Speaker 3:I think he ended up basically having to clean the first couple times he came back. But that's how I meet parents. I mean, honestly, the kids that there are a few there's a collection of kids that come to the UC center and honestly, they don't need Rock Island. Rock Island needs them. I need them to be here to keep things stable, to keep things in order, just to be a good influence for a lot of the other kids.
Speaker 3:And, honestly, I don't know their parents that well because I know they have good home lives, and so they don't necessarily require that. The kids that I do know their parents are the ones that need they need the most help. Some of those some of those parents and guardians are very receptive and very helpful. And when they are, they are the biggest resource possible. And then others that come from homes or parents or whoever neglect them, those are really difficult.
Speaker 3:Those are the kids that have obviously, have the smallest of chance, and, and and it's hard. It's those are difficult to to stomach and to have to face that reality. But, again, like, let's leave that up to God. Yep. I'll I'll do my best, and we'll leave the rest up to God.
Speaker 2:That's good, Luke.
Speaker 4:So good.
Speaker 2:Something that I heard time after time after time with you is just the power of showing up. Right? Just like there's so much that the Lord can do whenever you just show up in his name and Uh-huh. And then just prayer. I mean, we can never forget to bring these kids and the situations and our relationships to the Lord's feet in prayer, because, I mean, yeah, we can show up and we can love them and things like that, but true life change comes only from Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3:Commit.
Speaker 4:Thanks for listening to today's interview with Luke Whitmire from the Cross and Crown Mission in Oklahoma City. We encourage you to check out our show notes to connect with them. You can visit their website at crossandcrownmission.com. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends, family, whoever in your life is interested in mentoring kids from hard places. Leave us a review on Apple podcasts.
Speaker 4:Let us know what you learned. If there's nothing you picked up from today's episode, let it be this. You can mentor.