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The Moonshots Podcast goes behind the scenes of the world's greatest superstars, thinkers and entrepreneurs to discover the secrets to their success. We deconstruct their success from mindset to daily habits so that we can apply it to our lives. Join us as we 'learn out loud' from Elon Musk, Brene Brown to emerging talents like David Goggins.
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Hello and welcome to the Moonshots
podcast.
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It's episode of Wait for It 250.
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I'm Neil co-host My Passions.
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And as always, I'm joined by Mr.
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Matt Pearson Freeland.
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Happy anniversary, Mark.
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Well, thank you very much, Mike,
and thank you to all of our listeners
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and members for joining us
all the way through to episode number 250.
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That excludes, of course, Mike,
all of our unique master series.
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That's only two members, but you write
a quarter of a thousand episodes.
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We're certainly clocking up these numbers,
aren't we?
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I love your math.
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I think it sounds epic.
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Yeah, I'm not great at math.
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I didn't know that.
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Apart from 250 episodes,
it's been an absolute joy to do a year
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and we about to have the chance to look
at the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership
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to wrap up our absolute
scorching servant leadership series.
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How are you feeling and who is this
author we're going to study?
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Well, Mike and listeners and viewers,
we're digging in today
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in episode
250, what, 250 into John C Maxwell's
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the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership
and might get this as the sublime
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follow them, follow
these rules and people will follow you.
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Now, Mike, for those who don't necessarily
know John C Maxwell that well,
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he is a celebrated renowned leadership
expert.
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This book, in fact, was written
and released 25 years ago.
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Mike So maybe there's a nice symmetry
there.
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25 years Episode 250 You know, somebody
is going to see a correlation there,
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but this book really has those key
principles for effective leadership
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and really helping develop
this idea of a leader within us.
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So I think, as you say,
within this servant leadership series
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that we've we've gone
on, this deserves its place
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as one of the all time
best that we can dig into for this topic.
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Yeah, angry.
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As you rightly pointed out 25 years ago
when this was published.
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The beautiful thing is there is a thread,
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as you said, follow them
and people will follow you.
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That is exactly the same narrative
that we hear from Lincoln.
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But we hear from Brené Brown
and what we heard from
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Simon Senate with Ed leaders eat last.
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And this is the underpinning
storyline of servant leadership
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is if you work hard to serve those around
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you, you will achieve leadership.
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And anyone can do this, not just the one
or two folks in the ivory tower.
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It's an offer for all of us.
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Now, Mark,
I wish we could promise our listeners
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that we did the whole 21
irrefutable laws of leadership,
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but we would have been here for 250 hours
and having the stamina
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is obviously something we need to improve
because we're only picked out
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the four best ideas.
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But I can't wait to jump into those ideas.
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If our listeners, viewers and members
want to actually take the leadership
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game and master it, this is the show.
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I think we should jump in.
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Or I think we've set it up perfectly.
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So listeners, viewers, members.
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Episode 250
I hope you're getting ready and fired up
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because we're about to jump straight in
to one of John C Maxwell's
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irrefutable laws of leadership,
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specifically around the idea of influence.
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Today, I would like to talk to you
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on becoming a person of influence
in your workbook.
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The first statement is important
Leadership
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is influence
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in the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership.
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I talk about a couple of laws.
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One is the law of influence that says the
true measure of leadership is influence.
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Nothing more, nothing less.
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The other law is called the law of E.F.
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Hutton that says when the real leader
speaks, people listen.
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What I'm really wanting to share with you
in this lesson,
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in this training series,
is to understand that
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that leadership is influence influences
leadership.
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The person in any given group
that has the most influence at any
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given time for any given
reason is the leader of the group.
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So our goal, since leadership is influence, our goal is to increase your influence.
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Look in your notes.
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Increasing your influence equals
increasing your leadership.
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J.R. Miller said
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there have been meetings of only a moment
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which have left impressions
for a life for eternity.
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No one can understand that
mysterious thing we call influence.
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Yet every one of us continually exerts
influence either to heal or to bless,
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or to leave marks of beauty or to wound,
to hurt, to poison, to stain others lives.
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So the goal of our training is twofold.
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Number one,
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help you better understand influence.
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And number two,
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help you increase your influence without.
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Now, what I like about
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the reframing of leadership
to be influence
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is it's suggestive that it's not
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command and control.
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It's suggestive that real leadership
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is something you sort of earn.
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You earn in those moments
where you can choose to lift people up,
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help them grow
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or push them down
and almost send them in reverse.
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That is a moment
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where you choose as an individual
whether you want to be a leader or not.
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And it's so tempting
to give in to immediate fight or flight.
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Fear of uncertainty.
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It's very easy to give in to that.
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But if you do so,
if you give in to your emotions too much,
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then you are saying no to influence
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and as a result, no to leadership.
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Now, what I like here, Mark, is the
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the delicacy
that this idea of influence represents,
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because influence is not
is like because I told you so.
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It's perhaps because I asked the question
or suggested
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something that people wanted to do it.
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And I think that is such
an interesting area
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to think about how we achieve influence.
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And I think it starts by earning it.
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I think it starts what we've heard
throughout this entire series
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is it is about earning the right
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to lead, the right to influence,
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as opposed to dictating
through your job title.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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When you hear this influence thing
and he talks about the moments
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in those meetings,
what comes to your mind?
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Do you have memories, good, bad or
otherwise where you think about influence
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either for yourself,
Mark as a leader or watching others?
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I think I agree with with everything
you've just said and
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earning the right to lead
rather than dictating is,
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I think, in line very much with what
we've seen with servant leadership,
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but also Michael Bungay Stanier,
you know, he very much leads us,
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right, suggests leading in that fashion
from a coaching perspective.
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But for me,
when I heard that clip from Maxwell,
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the thing that really stands out to me
is the reminder
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that any interaction
that we have with other people,
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there's a chance that they are going
to remember something that we say or do.
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Hopefully that's going to be positive,
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but there's also a chance
that it could be negative.
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For me, where I think Maxwell does
a really good job
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of describing in that clip is reinforcing
the idea
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that if you've got this opportunity
to work with others,
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sometimes
there are single things that you do
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or say that really can change
or pivot the direction
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of a certain project campaign,
maybe some of these behavior.
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So it's a real reminder to me,
and I've been in meetings before when
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somebody will explain
maybe a creative idea
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or a strategy in maybe a unique way
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and the penny will drop.
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And I'll think, now I get it, or why now
I'm really inspired.
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It's enough behind people's behavior,
the way that they interact,
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the way that they describe things,
I think is enough to really inspire
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an entire collection of people,
sometimes maybe without even meaning.
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But I think where Maxwell saying is,
just in case
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you're going to be in that position,
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make sure that you are doing it
to the best of your ability.
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Make sure to not,
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you know, take advantage,
but make sure to really put in the time
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and the preparation,
I think to be a person of influence
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that then helps you grow,
that you start to earn that right
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to be the leader
through behavior and through patterns.
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Yeah, Yeah.
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Now what I think is interesting for us
to do
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is say just because you have the authority
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doesn't necessarily
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give you the influence
of the leadership, right?
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No. I think you know,
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where I naturally go is
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how do you build that influence?
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And I think we know influence
is something that comes over time.
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But I'm instantly drawn to the idea
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of the the underlying
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level of the five dysfunctions
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of a team, which is trust.
00:10:05:17 - 00:10:09:08
And what I'd love to do with you
for a second here is explore
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how we can create influence
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to be great leaders.
00:10:14:20 - 00:10:17:04
But what do we have to do
to create the influence?
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Like, let's get into
like the really practical stuff.
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And I think it is
all about being trustworthy.
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And I think I'll start it off.
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Let's do a little
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bit of a game of suggestions
on how to build trust within our teams.
00:10:33:23 - 00:10:34:18
Okay.
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Yeah, I think
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the first thing that comes to my mind
around
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trust is
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do what you say.
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I will be in the office at 8 a.m.
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to take that call. You should join me.
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Whatever you do, you should be hell bent
on getting into the office today,
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regardless of what problems
you have getting out of the house.
00:11:01:21 - 00:11:02:14
Right.
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Because when.
00:11:05:01 - 00:11:07:12
When you don't do simple things.
00:11:07:12 - 00:11:08:00
And I think
00:11:08:00 - 00:11:12:05
we all make the mistake of thinking
the train was late, I'll be in at 815.
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Can you stop the call?
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No, no, no, no.
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Because what you're saying
is my commitment to you, my colleague
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and the counterparty on the call, it's
not that great.
00:11:23:16 - 00:11:26:04
And I'm not going to make
that much of an effort. Right.
00:11:26:04 - 00:11:29:19
So I think just keeping your word
and delivering the things
00:11:29:19 - 00:11:32:24
you promised that you would deliver,
it's such a basic thing.
00:11:32:25 - 00:11:35:01
Another thing around
like doing what you say
00:11:35:01 - 00:11:37:24
is, you know, when people say,
I send you an email tonight,
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I had this this morning.
00:11:39:11 - 00:11:40:25
I had a call.
00:11:40:25 - 00:11:44:13
So I'm in Sydney, Australia yesterday,
had a call with someone in New York.
00:11:45:02 - 00:11:49:18
I said, okay,
will you send me an email tomorrow?
00:11:49:21 - 00:11:50:24
Your day?
00:11:50:24 - 00:11:54:00
Yes, my guy. Will I wake up this morning?
00:11:54:01 - 00:11:55:08
It's end of day, New York.
00:11:55:08 - 00:11:59:07
I'm like,
There is no set email in my inbox.
00:11:59:07 - 00:11:59:23
Trust.
00:12:01:18 - 00:12:03:20
I've only just met this person.
00:12:03:20 - 00:12:06:15
I'd like to partner
on this thing for a project,
00:12:06:15 - 00:12:09:00
but they've already missed
their first thing.
00:12:09:00 - 00:12:13:16
So the trust went down, the influence
went down, and then I'm like, already?
00:12:13:16 - 00:12:14:19
And it's just a small thing.
00:12:14:19 - 00:12:16:14
I know maybe I'm being a bit OCD here,
00:12:16:14 - 00:12:19:23
but if someone says to me, I'll
send you an email and then they don't.
00:12:20:07 - 00:12:23:06
I'm like, Ooh, it makes me reconsider.
00:12:23:17 - 00:12:26:17
Okay, Yeah, it's reliability. Totally.
00:12:26:18 - 00:12:27:15
Do what you say.
00:12:27:15 - 00:12:29:17
What else can you do to build the trust,
00:12:29:17 - 00:12:32:12
to build the influence,
to build the leadership?
00:12:32:12 - 00:12:33:20
I think you've got to be.
00:12:33:20 - 00:12:35:10
I like that one a lot.
00:12:35:10 - 00:12:37:22
I think reliability is so key.
00:12:37:22 - 00:12:40:17
I think authenticity as well.
00:12:40:17 - 00:12:44:13
I think that's somewhat
inspired by the reliability piece.
00:12:45:12 - 00:12:46:07
I think rely
00:12:46:07 - 00:12:51:17
in my mind what I mean
by authenticity is be authentic to you
00:12:51:17 - 00:12:55:14
as an individual that then inspires
others to behave in the same way.
00:12:56:04 - 00:12:59:04
So like you say,
if you're setting intentions
00:12:59:07 - 00:13:02:13
such as I'm going to be in
for this meeting
00:13:02:19 - 00:13:06:03
or I've set it up, I'm going to deliver
what I've said I'm going to do.
00:13:06:23 - 00:13:09:06
I think authenticity comes through
00:13:09:06 - 00:13:11:18
with the angle of
00:13:11:18 - 00:13:14:11
making sure that if there's anything
00:13:14:11 - 00:13:18:08
that's awkward, anything that's unknown,
it's brought up.
00:13:19:01 - 00:13:22:00
So, for example, if we were in, you know,
00:13:22:01 - 00:13:25:07
and this is probably a case specifically
with remote working,
00:13:25:11 - 00:13:28:11
you know, you and your colleague
or soon to be colleague in New York,
00:13:29:08 - 00:13:31:25
the authenticity of hanging out
face to face,
00:13:31:25 - 00:13:34:24
you'd probably get to a certain
point of trust quite quickly.
00:13:35:08 - 00:13:36:24
But I think working remotely,
00:13:36:24 - 00:13:40:14
you're going to need to find ways
now to build up that trust again.
00:13:40:25 - 00:13:45:22
So by being authentic, maybe the example
here would be bring it up with him.
00:13:46:07 - 00:13:49:22
You know, you could say, Hey, look,
you said you were going to do this.
00:13:50:13 - 00:13:51:13
How come it didn't happen?
00:13:51:13 - 00:13:52:21
It's okay. It didn't.
00:13:52:21 - 00:13:56:00
But what I'd like to
establish is a patent where we do deliver
00:13:56:11 - 00:13:59:09
each promises that we make each time.
00:13:59:09 - 00:14:02:10
So you kind of set those intentions
quite early on because that's
00:14:02:10 - 00:14:06:02
the sort of thing I think would happen
if we were face to face. Yes.
00:14:06:10 - 00:14:11:10
And I think another thing so I like that
suggestion, being authentic, being open.
00:14:11:16 - 00:14:12:14
Right.
00:14:12:14 - 00:14:15:12
I think the heart of that is admitting
00:14:16:11 - 00:14:17:19
a vulnerability.
00:14:17:19 - 00:14:22:21
If fallibility
like I think it's very tempting
00:14:23:23 - 00:14:27:11
when, you know, you're expected
to lead to have all the answers.
00:14:28:10 - 00:14:30:23
And I think it's actually really powerful
00:14:30:23 - 00:14:33:23
and say, guys, I have no idea.
00:14:33:25 - 00:14:36:15
I got let's brainstorm together
on how we might solve this.
00:14:36:15 - 00:14:39:23
But honestly, it could be
a range of answers to solve this problem.
00:14:39:23 - 00:14:40:22
I've got no idea.
00:14:40:22 - 00:14:42:23
I really don't know.
Never seen this before.
00:14:42:23 - 00:14:44:12
Let's go and explore.
00:14:44:12 - 00:14:47:17
As opposed to you're thinking,
I've got no idea.
00:14:47:17 - 00:14:50:19
And then you say the only way to do
this is to go this direction.
00:14:50:19 - 00:14:52:25
I know everything. Go, go, go.
00:14:52:25 - 00:14:54:15
And then it's like, that didn't work.
00:14:54:15 - 00:14:59:17
Mike Yeah, well, that was rainy
and the dog ate my homework and, you know.
00:14:59:22 - 00:15:01:03
Yeah, somebody else's problem.
00:15:04:02 - 00:15:05:11
But that's exactly it.
00:15:05:11 - 00:15:08:11
Yeah. Yeah. But isn't it interesting
00:15:08:20 - 00:15:11:21
that if you want to be a leader,
00:15:12:23 - 00:15:16:12
you then need to understand that
it's actually a position of influence,
00:15:16:12 - 00:15:19:07
not authority.
It's influence, influence, influence.
00:15:19:07 - 00:15:20:01
And how do you get there?
00:15:20:01 - 00:15:21:22
You've got to go build the trust
with everyone.
00:15:21:22 - 00:15:25:00
You've got to be reliable,
transparent, open, fallible,
00:15:25:07 - 00:15:28:06
honest and human about it
00:15:28:09 - 00:15:32:03
and treat others as you'd only want them
to treat you as a starting point.
00:15:32:14 - 00:15:36:16
And I think we're all fighting
against the temptation
00:15:37:04 - 00:15:41:08
to pretend to know the answer or yeah,
00:15:42:02 - 00:15:46:16
when things are not going well,
to not take full accountability,
00:15:46:16 - 00:15:51:04
be a bit Teflon like, well,
we did give it to the other department
00:15:51:04 - 00:15:55:01
in the other department dropped the ball,
but one might say, Well, why
00:15:55:01 - 00:15:55:25
didn't you help them?
00:15:57:07 - 00:16:00:07
Yeah,
why didn't you raise the observation?
00:16:00:10 - 00:16:02:20
You know, it might be
that you've got more experience
00:16:02:20 - 00:16:06:03
perhaps than that other department,
and you would have maybe experienced
00:16:06:14 - 00:16:09:02
the fallibility in the past.
00:16:09:02 - 00:16:12:17
So rather than holding that back, it's
possible that you could have said, Hey,
00:16:12:18 - 00:16:15:15
I've a department, here's
what I've seen before,
00:16:15:15 - 00:16:18:02
just to give you a heads up,
this might happen as well.
00:16:18:02 - 00:16:19:25
So it's more of a team player.
00:16:19:25 - 00:16:21:22
I think maybe Mike that comes into that.
00:16:21:22 - 00:16:25:22
The next area that I think
a person of influence can lead
00:16:26:07 - 00:16:29:13
is, you know, crucial conversations,
noticing
00:16:29:13 - 00:16:33:02
when those type of things need to happen,
maybe with teams.
00:16:33:23 - 00:16:38:01
And again, maybe it's reliability,
maybe it's authenticity.
00:16:38:14 - 00:16:42:20
But just noticing
when people require a conversation,
00:16:43:06 - 00:16:46:06
maybe they maybe that's
within the other department,
00:16:46:11 - 00:16:49:09
you know, I can see this problem
maybe happening.
00:16:49:09 - 00:16:51:10
This is what I wanted to share.
00:16:51:10 - 00:16:54:04
I think crucial conversations
as I've probably gone
00:16:54:04 - 00:16:57:04
on maybe too much in Servant
leadership series about.
00:16:57:07 - 00:16:59:02
Mark, I think Let me let me push it.
00:16:59:02 - 00:17:01:09
I think we need confession time.
00:17:01:09 - 00:17:04:06
Q Confession Music two Do, do, do do, do.
00:17:04:06 - 00:17:07:25
Mark, do you love more than anything else,
more than any other book
00:17:07:25 - 00:17:11:07
that we've ever reviewed,
crucial conversations.
00:17:11:07 - 00:17:12:05
Is this true?
00:17:12:05 - 00:17:16:06
Well, it's I think I think it is
mind and listeners and viewers.
00:17:16:17 - 00:17:19:21
I went to the library,
picked up the copy again the other day.
00:17:21:03 - 00:17:21:17
But I think
00:17:21:17 - 00:17:25:07
I think this influences
is really connected to behavior.
00:17:25:13 - 00:17:28:08
You think that's what we're we're kind of
finding out already, isn't it, Mike?
00:17:28:08 - 00:17:31:22
It's about behaving
as a person of influence,
00:17:31:22 - 00:17:35:07
and then you become
that person of influence through behavior.
00:17:35:16 - 00:17:36:07
Yeah.
00:17:36:07 - 00:17:39:04
And I think if we are reflective enough
00:17:39:04 - 00:17:42:03
about how we're behaving,
00:17:42:05 - 00:17:43:25
we can catch ourselves.
00:17:43:25 - 00:17:48:00
And even if we, you know, fall victim
to fear, self-doubt and certainty,
00:17:48:09 - 00:17:51:01
frustration, anger,
00:17:51:01 - 00:17:52:13
we can work on it, right?
00:17:52:13 - 00:17:53:16
We can work on ourselves.
00:17:53:16 - 00:17:55:20
And I think that's exactly
what we're doing here
00:17:55:20 - 00:17:59:19
on the Moonshot podcast and that's exactly
what our members are helping us do.
00:17:59:19 - 00:18:02:21
Mark yes, they are indeed.
00:18:02:21 - 00:18:06:25
Mike Now,
obviously we have got into a real pattern
00:18:07:11 - 00:18:11:08
of calling out our members
and to those eagle eared listeners,
00:18:11:16 - 00:18:14:01
I think last week, Mike,
I nearly passed out
00:18:14:01 - 00:18:17:05
from trying to do them too fast
and without enough breaths.
00:18:18:20 - 00:18:19:06
So this
00:18:19:06 - 00:18:22:10
week, members, you're getting
maybe a slightly
00:18:22:10 - 00:18:26:02
slower call out than last week
just for my own health and well-being.
00:18:26:11 - 00:18:31:24
But please welcome without further delay
and do a little Bob,
00:18:31:24 - 00:18:35:12
Ken, Dietmar, Marjan, Connor,
Rodrigo, Liza and Sid.
00:18:35:23 - 00:18:39:06
Mr. Bond, you, Paul Berg and Kalman, Joe,
Christian,
00:18:39:12 - 00:18:43:03
Samuel and Barbara, Andre,
Chris, Deborah and Lisa.
00:18:43:03 - 00:18:45:23
Steve Craig, Daniel and Andrew.
00:18:45:23 - 00:18:50:00
Ravi, Eve and Karen, Raul, Nicole
to Ingram, Dirk and Harry
00:18:50:07 - 00:18:53:10
Van Carter, Marco Jett, Roger,
Steph and Gabby,
00:18:53:20 - 00:18:57:17
all of whom are annual members guys,
thank you again for always
00:18:57:17 - 00:19:03:05
joining us Hot on those heels
it's raw animal and James and Diana Wade,
00:19:03:05 - 00:19:08:24
Christophe, Denice, Laura, Smitty, Cora
and Gayla Bertram, Daniella, Mike and Dan
00:19:09:04 - 00:19:14:17
Antonio, Zachary Austin and Fred, Lorenzo,
Ola, Andy and Diana.
00:19:14:22 - 00:19:18:11
Guys, thank you so much once again
for joining us and being part
00:19:18:15 - 00:19:23:24
of the Moonshots Master series
and members of the Moonshots Club.
00:19:25:04 - 00:19:26:00
it's a club.
00:19:26:00 - 00:19:27:22
It's a membership. It's a club now.
00:19:27:22 - 00:19:29:07
It's a kid, you know that
00:19:29:07 - 00:19:32:24
You get this Luna powered good karma
when you become a member, right?
00:19:33:15 - 00:19:35:04
Because you really do.
00:19:35:04 - 00:19:35:11
Yeah.
00:19:35:11 - 00:19:39:08
We invoke the mythological spiritual
00:19:39:08 - 00:19:43:04
forces of the galaxy
to travel down the Internet
00:19:43:11 - 00:19:46:11
right through your Patreon account
to make you feel good.
00:19:46:11 - 00:19:49:06
Right? So head to Moonshot
stereo, become a member.
00:19:49:06 - 00:19:53:01
You get this extra podcast,
you get a whole lot of love, good karma.
00:19:53:09 - 00:19:57:07
And I'll tell you what,
you even get to hear your name,
00:19:57:07 - 00:20:00:06
which might be Mark a special thing.
00:20:01:12 - 00:20:04:25
Well, funny you should say that, Mike,
because the next lesson,
00:20:04:25 - 00:20:09:10
the next piece of wisdom
I want to call this clip is from Maxwell.
00:20:09:10 - 00:20:13:14
Now, reflecting on the impact that Dale
Carnegie's book, How to Influence Friends
00:20:13:14 - 00:20:17:25
and Influence People had not only on him,
but also his mentor, his father.
00:20:18:08 - 00:20:21:18
So let's hear a quite
a wonderful little story and visualization
00:20:21:25 - 00:20:25:03
of what
the sweetest word to others really is.
00:20:26:03 - 00:20:28:08
Another
lesson that I learned from my father.
00:20:28:08 - 00:20:31:08
My gosh, what a huge lesson this one was.
00:20:31:19 - 00:20:34:04
This one stare stayed with me
throughout my life.
00:20:34:04 - 00:20:35:18
I just well, they all have.
00:20:35:18 - 00:20:38:17
But my father,
00:20:38:17 - 00:20:43:04
who he introduced me to, to how to win
Friends Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
00:20:43:05 - 00:20:46:04
As you know, my father picked out
books for me to read when I was a kid.
00:20:47:19 - 00:20:50:21
And if you read if you've read
How to Win Friends and Influence people,
00:20:50:21 - 00:20:52:24
I assume you have. I mean. I mean, hello.
00:20:52:24 - 00:20:55:23
I mean, can you really go through life
and not read that book?
00:20:56:06 - 00:20:58:16
Because it is, to me, the relationship
Bible
00:20:58:16 - 00:21:01:18
simple, basic principles on relationships.
00:21:01:18 - 00:21:05:16
And Dale Carnegie said the sweetest
sound to a person's ear
00:21:06:23 - 00:21:08:00
is the sound of their name.
00:21:09:05 - 00:21:09:20
And so Dale
00:21:09:20 - 00:21:12:19
Carnegie emphasized the importance
of remembering names.
00:21:13:04 - 00:21:16:04
And my father was really good at it.
00:21:16:06 - 00:21:19:08
And when I was a junior in high school,
we went and took a Dale
00:21:19:08 - 00:21:22:01
Carnegie course on remembering
names. I'll never forget it.
00:21:22:01 - 00:21:25:18
It was my dad and I took it together
and how they had us back then.
00:21:25:18 - 00:21:27:20
I don't even know
how Dale Carnegie teaches it now,
00:21:27:20 - 00:21:30:01
but while they taught it back then,
it was that.
00:21:30:01 - 00:21:33:25
That what you did is,
as you put a visual object
00:21:33:25 - 00:21:37:16
on their head
that would relate to their name.
00:21:37:16 - 00:21:40:16
So I'm just, for example, if I met you and
00:21:40:24 - 00:21:44:21
and your name
your name was, let's say, John Water.
00:21:44:21 - 00:21:49:02
Okay, well, then what I do is I would put
water right on top of your head.
00:21:49:02 - 00:21:52:08
I would put a visual picture of water
right there.
00:21:52:20 - 00:21:56:04
And so I would visually see water
on your head so that when I saw you next,
00:21:56:04 - 00:21:58:16
I would call you John Water.
00:21:58:16 - 00:22:01:14
I remember I remember one time
00:22:01:14 - 00:22:05:02
speaking of water, I was
I was going to my new church in Lancaster,
00:22:05:02 - 00:22:08:02
Ohio, and had hundreds of people
to learn their names pretty quick.
00:22:08:11 - 00:22:12:09
And I met the first I met a wonderful
couple named the Hargis family.
00:22:12:25 - 00:22:18:08
And soon, as they said, Hargis, I grew up
near a lake that was called Hargis Lake,
00:22:19:11 - 00:22:21:06
and I thought, man, I got this one out.
00:22:21:06 - 00:22:24:00
And so I put a lake
right on top of their head.
00:22:24:00 - 00:22:28:05
And the next week, when they came back
to church, I, I mean, I was so calm.
00:22:28:08 - 00:22:31:05
I just reached out my hair, said, Well,
how's our Mr. Mrs.
00:22:31:05 - 00:22:32:20
Lake today?
00:22:32:20 - 00:22:33:08
I'll never forget.
00:22:33:08 - 00:22:35:07
They looked at me
and they looked at each other.
00:22:35:07 - 00:22:38:06
And of course, immediately
I realized, Oops, I missed that one.
00:22:38:18 - 00:22:39:25
I missed that one.
00:22:39:25 - 00:22:42:06
And I said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:22:42:06 - 00:22:43:21
What was your name?
They said, Hargis, of course.
00:22:43:21 - 00:22:46:18
Then I laughed.
I told him the Hargis Lake story.
00:22:46:18 - 00:22:48:06
So it's not a foolproof.
00:22:48:06 - 00:22:50:14
But here's what I do know.
00:22:50:14 - 00:22:54:07
My father impressed upon me
00:22:54:24 - 00:22:59:19
that the name is the sweetest sound,
the person's ear, and that immediately
00:22:59:19 - 00:23:02:07
when I get it,
if I can visualize something
00:23:02:07 - 00:23:05:25
and put it on top of the head
so that I can remember their name.
00:23:08:11 - 00:23:09:24
my, that was hilarious.
00:23:09:24 - 00:23:11:09
Start. Mark.
00:23:11:09 - 00:23:14:00
I think that was a very good story,
wouldn't you say?
00:23:14:00 - 00:23:17:00
Mark Yes, he's I like.
00:23:17:09 - 00:23:19:23
Swooning over, you know, wrong answer.
00:23:19:23 - 00:23:21:13
You should have said yes.
00:23:21:13 - 00:23:24:19
Mike Yes, you're right, Mike You're right.
00:23:25:05 - 00:23:28:04
Mike And the way I remember
your name, Mike
00:23:28:17 - 00:23:32:18
is quite handy with the moon shot show
because we have Mike's.
00:23:33:16 - 00:23:37:20
And Mike's with Mike
and Mike with the same initials.
00:23:37:25 - 00:23:38:15
It goes on.
00:23:38:15 - 00:23:41:14
Yeah, but let me say it goes
00:23:41:23 - 00:23:43:24
like it can be tempting
00:23:43:24 - 00:23:48:12
in 2020 forward to the well,
remembering people's name to be cheesy.
00:23:48:12 - 00:23:51:12
That's a bit Dale
Carnegie is a bit old school,
00:23:52:05 - 00:23:55:10
but I would ask everyone
00:23:55:10 - 00:23:59:03
just to take one step back
and look at it more.
00:23:59:03 - 00:24:03:00
As you making a gesture.
00:24:03:06 - 00:24:06:06
It's a deliberate sign of respect
00:24:06:06 - 00:24:09:06
that you remember the friggin name.
00:24:09:12 - 00:24:11:01
Like that's all you're doing.
00:24:11:01 - 00:24:13:25
It's respecting them, right?
00:24:13:25 - 00:24:17:23
And there is nothing more charming
00:24:17:23 - 00:24:22:16
than when if you and I have just met
or we don't know each other too well
00:24:23:02 - 00:24:26:10
and that third party comes along,
I say, Hey, third party, I'd like
00:24:26:10 - 00:24:27:07
you to meet Mark.
00:24:28:09 - 00:24:31:05
And everybody knows, like, wow.
00:24:31:05 - 00:24:33:09
Mike remembered Mike's name, right?
00:24:33:09 - 00:24:35:11
That kind of feels like
00:24:35:11 - 00:24:37:09
you have been respected.
00:24:37:09 - 00:24:38:20
It's a little nod.
00:24:38:20 - 00:24:41:09
It's a little recognized person.
00:24:41:09 - 00:24:43:21
So whether you think
it's a bit old school or not,
00:24:43:21 - 00:24:48:16
I do believe it's powerful,
and particularly when I'm having
00:24:49:24 - 00:24:54:03
to tricky or important conversations
00:24:55:10 - 00:24:58:10
in a work context,
00:24:58:20 - 00:25:00:23
I find myself
00:25:00:23 - 00:25:04:14
addressing the person by their name.
00:25:04:17 - 00:25:05:15
Like Mark.
00:25:05:15 - 00:25:08:09
We this is a really important conversation
for us.
00:25:08:09 - 00:25:09:24
Mark Right.
00:25:09:24 - 00:25:16:05
This and for some reason
it seems to be appropriate, as it does,
00:25:16:15 - 00:25:20:01
the capability of introducing people
who don't know each other and remembering
00:25:20:01 - 00:25:21:03
both of their names.
00:25:21:03 - 00:25:23:23
It means you are endorsing
and respecting them.
00:25:23:23 - 00:25:26:22
And I believe that it a hard of things,
00:25:28:11 - 00:25:32:02
starting with good manners and respect.
00:25:32:11 - 00:25:34:14
I mean, what's not to like about that?
00:25:34:14 - 00:25:38:19
Mark Honestly, Mike, it's amazing
00:25:39:22 - 00:25:42:17
in the communities that I've joined,
00:25:42:17 - 00:25:45:16
both from a work perspective
as well as social,
00:25:46:05 - 00:25:49:07
I am always incredibly touched
00:25:50:11 - 00:25:53:18
by those individuals
who will not only remember my name,
00:25:53:18 - 00:25:55:13
but maybe they'll remember
something about me.
00:25:55:13 - 00:25:59:20
Maybe it's a story I've told,
maybe it's a situation I've ended up in.
00:26:00:20 - 00:26:03:22
And what it does
is it creates an immediate connection.
00:26:04:16 - 00:26:07:16
And you're right, it's this word respect.
00:26:07:18 - 00:26:10:25
You're suddenly in an equal space.
00:26:11:03 - 00:26:13:14
You know, if the individual let's say,
00:26:13:14 - 00:26:16:14
Mike, that you've introduced me
to this third party,
00:26:17:14 - 00:26:19:23
the fact that, you know, you've introduced
00:26:19:23 - 00:26:22:25
me, maybe you've said something about me
specifically, you called out my name.
00:26:23:20 - 00:26:24:12
It shows me.
00:26:24:12 - 00:26:27:12
Okay, well,
Mike's taken time to remember me.
00:26:27:16 - 00:26:33:00
He knows and respects me, so therefore,
I already going back to this idea
00:26:33:00 - 00:26:36:01
of trust that we were talking about
earlier, the scale of trust,
00:26:37:02 - 00:26:38:20
that trust increases.
00:26:38:20 - 00:26:39:16
Because now I know.
00:26:39:16 - 00:26:42:05
Hey, I think
I think Mike is going to be reliable
00:26:42:05 - 00:26:43:05
if he's able to remember
00:26:43:05 - 00:26:46:22
something quite small like my name,
I can trust him with other information.
00:26:47:02 - 00:26:50:16
I think I can trust him with a project
or a key deliverable
00:26:50:20 - 00:26:53:22
because I believe that he's going
to be able to remember and keep his word.
00:26:54:09 - 00:26:58:06
So again, Mike, I'm seeing a lot of
connection between that first clip.
00:26:58:06 - 00:27:01:15
We heard this idea of influence
and now this.
00:27:01:15 - 00:27:04:06
It comes down to reliability, doesn't it?
00:27:04:06 - 00:27:08:08
It comes down to this insight around
behaving in a way
00:27:08:08 - 00:27:11:08
that you would like to be treated
and what it does.
00:27:11:21 - 00:27:15:14
Hey, it lowers
those barriers between individuals
00:27:15:14 - 00:27:18:00
and therefore you're going to do
better work together.
00:27:18:00 - 00:27:19:01
What do you think?
00:27:19:01 - 00:27:22:14
And what Dale
Carnegie goes on to talk about
00:27:23:24 - 00:27:25:19
is that if you want to be
00:27:25:19 - 00:27:29:05
interesting to others,
you need to be interested in them.
00:27:30:08 - 00:27:32:07
That's it. Yes, I remember that one.
00:27:32:07 - 00:27:33:23
That's right. Yeah. That's nice.
00:27:33:23 - 00:27:37:05
And this is the thing, like as a leader,
00:27:37:09 - 00:27:40:09
if you want to lead people,
00:27:40:22 - 00:27:44:19
you need to understand
what's going on for them
00:27:45:09 - 00:27:50:11
and genuinely have a level of interest
00:27:51:04 - 00:27:53:16
and curiosity,
00:27:53:16 - 00:27:56:15
whether it's like,
what's their set up at home?
00:27:57:06 - 00:27:59:24
What are they into outside of work?
00:27:59:24 - 00:28:01:12
What are they looking forward to?
00:28:01:12 - 00:28:04:11
What are their challenges?
00:28:05:09 - 00:28:10:17
It's how can we possibly want people
to follow us
00:28:11:18 - 00:28:15:05
if we're not paying
some sort of interest in them?
00:28:15:10 - 00:28:16:19
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:16:19 - 00:28:18:22
And I and I'm sure we all have.
00:28:18:22 - 00:28:20:19
I've worked with
00:28:20:19 - 00:28:23:13
colleagues, but also leaders who
00:28:23:13 - 00:28:26:24
in my opinion, have never really shown
that level of interest.
00:28:27:01 - 00:28:30:04
PERAINO And what what does it lead to?
00:28:30:15 - 00:28:34:09
Well, it kind of leads to the opinion,
yeah, I could probably work a bit harder
00:28:34:12 - 00:28:38:23
for this boss, but I mean,
he doesn't really know my name,
00:28:39:03 - 00:28:40:12
let alone anything else.
00:28:40:12 - 00:28:43:11
So I'm not I'm not going to be motivated.
00:28:43:21 - 00:28:47:15
So obviously the name is an extreme,
but I think you're right.
00:28:47:18 - 00:28:50:23
If you unless you are leading again
00:28:50:23 - 00:28:54:12
from a level of influence,
as we heard in that first clip,
00:28:55:07 - 00:28:59:03
how do you expect anybody to have trust
and follow you into the battlefield?
00:28:59:14 - 00:29:01:10
Yes. And and check this out.
00:29:03:03 - 00:29:05:01
I believe
00:29:05:01 - 00:29:08:01
that you can find a connection
with anybody.
00:29:08:09 - 00:29:12:02
And all you have to do
is get rid of your social status
00:29:12:16 - 00:29:15:18
to rid of your profession,
and you will eventually come to
00:29:16:23 - 00:29:17:22
you and me.
00:29:17:22 - 00:29:19:02
We're human beings.
00:29:19:02 - 00:29:21:12
We're just trying to do our best
in the world.
00:29:21:12 - 00:29:22:06
Yeah.
00:29:22:06 - 00:29:26:10
And that gets you a billion people
that you've got something in common with.
00:29:27:21 - 00:29:28:24
That's a few.
00:29:28:24 - 00:29:30:23
It's going to be a lot of names
to remember.
00:29:30:23 - 00:29:33:13
Now, this is like a game of concentric
circles.
00:29:33:13 - 00:29:36:19
It gets a bit wobbly after that because
then, like, what language do you speak?
00:29:36:19 - 00:29:38:14
You know, what religion are you
and all that kind of stuff.
00:29:38:14 - 00:29:40:15
It gets a little, you know, filtered out.
00:29:40:15 - 00:29:43:21
And my point is, is like in
the end of the day, the people that you're
00:29:44:09 - 00:29:49:05
in a sports team with or your family
or your community or the people at work
00:29:49:16 - 00:29:54:25
in the end, we're all humans
trying our best in our special way.
00:29:54:25 - 00:29:59:20
And you can always come back to that
right?
00:30:00:02 - 00:30:02:23
And that's where if you respect people,
you can always just go through
00:30:02:23 - 00:30:06:06
all those levels and go, okay,
they seem pretty crazy at work,
00:30:06:07 - 00:30:07:09
but what's the story behind it?
00:30:07:09 - 00:30:09:00
And just get to the point like,
00:30:09:00 - 00:30:13:16
my gosh, I totally connect to them
because we both like Paper Machine.
00:30:13:23 - 00:30:14:21
I don't. Know. Yeah.
00:30:17:08 - 00:30:20:24
If you,
if you listeners, members and viewers,
00:30:21:06 - 00:30:24:17
if you love your papier
maché head to moonshots then I know
00:30:25:03 - 00:30:26:16
I'm kidding you actually though
00:30:26:16 - 00:30:29:17
if you do want to dig in to Dale
Carnegie hit are the moonshots done?
00:30:29:17 - 00:30:34:01
I check out the back catalog
and have a listen to that show. But.
00:30:34:08 - 00:30:37:06
But, Mike, we're halfway through.
00:30:37:06 - 00:30:40:08
We've got a ton more to give you.
00:30:40:20 - 00:30:43:23
What's the next low
that we want to dig into from a mr.
00:30:43:23 - 00:30:46:00
Maxwell himself?
00:30:46:00 - 00:30:49:01
Well, this one,
I think we we heard a very soft,
00:30:50:12 - 00:30:52:19
quite beautiful story in that last clip.
00:30:52:19 - 00:30:55:19
So I think this time we're going
to go a little bit heavier hitting.
00:30:55:19 - 00:31:00:01
We're going to hear some hard truths
from John C Maxwell today.
00:31:00:07 - 00:31:01:00
We're now going to get
00:31:01:00 - 00:31:04:08
into one of his other laws from the 21
irrefutable laws of leadership.
00:31:04:19 - 00:31:08:16
And this one is all about
calling and offering
00:31:08:22 - 00:31:11:21
and honoring the law of the lit.
00:31:12:24 - 00:31:13:14
The first
00:31:13:14 - 00:31:17:15
law of the 21 irrefutable
laws of leadership is little.
00:31:17:15 - 00:31:21:00
The lid
which basically says leadership ability
00:31:21:21 - 00:31:24:18
determines
a person's level of effectiveness.
00:31:24:18 - 00:31:28:08
In other words,
how well you lead determines
00:31:28:08 - 00:31:31:08
how well you succeed.
00:31:31:17 - 00:31:33:19
You see
00:31:33:19 - 00:31:37:05
over 35 years ago,
I came to the conclusion
00:31:37:05 - 00:31:40:15
that everything
rises and falls on leadership.
00:31:41:16 - 00:31:43:25
Think about that for a moment.
00:31:43:25 - 00:31:46:00
Everything
00:31:46:00 - 00:31:47:22
rises
00:31:47:22 - 00:31:50:21
or falls on leadership.
00:31:51:14 - 00:31:53:12
In other words,
00:31:53:12 - 00:31:55:09
how well you lead not only determines
00:31:55:09 - 00:31:59:11
how well you succeed, how
well you lead, determines
00:31:59:11 - 00:32:02:21
how well the people that follow you
succeed.
00:32:03:05 - 00:32:06:22
Leadership has a multiplying effect,
either
00:32:06:22 - 00:32:09:23
positively or negatively on people.
00:32:10:18 - 00:32:12:07
This is huge
00:32:12:07 - 00:32:15:25
and when I became convinced that
everything rises and falls on leadership,
00:32:16:04 - 00:32:19:03
I looked at that in the business world
and found it was true.
00:32:19:06 - 00:32:21:00
I looked at it
in the religious world, found
00:32:21:00 - 00:32:24:00
it was true, looked at the education
world, found out it was true,
00:32:24:03 - 00:32:26:22
looked at the governance world,
found out it was true. It's true
00:32:28:17 - 00:32:30:24
in your life right now,
00:32:30:24 - 00:32:32:24
in your organization, everything
00:32:32:24 - 00:32:35:23
rises and falls on leadership.
00:32:36:21 - 00:32:41:07
Your leadership is the lead
that determines the level of your success.
00:32:41:12 - 00:32:43:24
Let me illustrate with my hand
for a moment.
00:32:43:24 - 00:32:46:15
Let's say that this is my leadership lead.
00:32:46:15 - 00:32:49:03
This is how well John Maxwell leads.
00:32:49:03 - 00:32:50:10
And let's say I'm an average leader.
00:32:50:10 - 00:32:52:21
I'm a five out of a 1 to 10, I'm a five.
00:32:52:21 - 00:32:55:06
So I'm an average leader.
This is my leadership lead.
00:32:55:06 - 00:32:58:22
What this means is that my organization,
my business, whatever,
00:32:58:22 - 00:33:01:21
I'm trying to lead my community group,
whatever it is I'm leading.
00:33:02:22 - 00:33:06:03
If I'm a five as a leader,
what that means is that
00:33:07:20 - 00:33:10:22
my leadership
and my success will only become a four.
00:33:11:21 - 00:33:16:12
I can't be successful beyond
and above my leadership lead.
00:33:16:19 - 00:33:21:19
My leadership
lead holds down my potential.
00:33:24:03 - 00:33:26:22
The lead Mark.
00:33:26:22 - 00:33:28:04
my gosh.
00:33:28:04 - 00:33:32:16
I think we're getting into the heart
00:33:32:16 - 00:33:37:07
of the matter here because,
I mean, I heard so much here.
00:33:37:07 - 00:33:39:10
I'm going to start with,
00:33:39:10 - 00:33:42:16
Yeah, To succeed
you have to lead or to lead is to succeed.
00:33:42:23 - 00:33:45:23
I think that connection is already like
00:33:47:05 - 00:33:48:24
that one, a big one.
00:33:48:24 - 00:33:53:01
But where I want to go to
is the connect tivity
00:33:53:01 - 00:33:56:03
between your performance and subsequently
00:33:56:03 - 00:33:59:03
those around you and the organizations.
00:34:00:01 - 00:34:00:12
Know.
00:34:00:12 - 00:34:04:19
What Maxwell is saying is your ability
00:34:04:19 - 00:34:08:04
to lead affects those around you
00:34:08:04 - 00:34:11:04
and therefore the overall group
00:34:11:23 - 00:34:12:08
here.
00:34:12:08 - 00:34:14:22
And what we could do
is now say that differently.
00:34:14:22 - 00:34:17:02
Your ability
00:34:17:02 - 00:34:21:16
to build trust,
take care of support, help each individual
00:34:21:16 - 00:34:26:02
and our collective cores
is how you gain influence
00:34:26:19 - 00:34:30:05
and get the ship sailing in the right
direction towards the overall goal,
00:34:30:05 - 00:34:33:15
which is the mission and the vision
that we have with why we're together
00:34:33:24 - 00:34:36:25
all comes back to Do you do what you say?
00:34:36:25 - 00:34:38:11
Do you listen to others?
00:34:38:11 - 00:34:42:07
Do you serve others or are playing
00:34:42:07 - 00:34:45:16
the hyper selfish defensive?
00:34:45:18 - 00:34:47:06
It's not my job.
00:34:47:06 - 00:34:50:04
Blame the others DOT for COVID.
00:34:50:04 - 00:34:54:15
Leave the office five
because you're too damn scared to leave.
00:34:55:05 - 00:34:57:22
That's what I heard. That's the lead.
00:34:57:22 - 00:35:00:22
And I think we all face this decision.
00:35:00:25 - 00:35:03:24
Do we push through the discomfort
00:35:03:24 - 00:35:07:06
and attempt to lead
or do we run for the hills?
00:35:08:05 - 00:35:10:14
Yeah, I think you're totally right.
00:35:10:14 - 00:35:14:24
I think this is the
this is the hard truth, isn't it?
00:35:15:03 - 00:35:18:05
Because I think there's a lot of us,
including myself, you know,
00:35:18:05 - 00:35:21:22
particularly in my more junior years
of having a career,
00:35:22:14 - 00:35:25:14
I would probably have
00:35:26:01 - 00:35:28:19
leaned away from leadership
00:35:28:19 - 00:35:32:20
because of the responsibility
is because of the fear of doing it wrong.
00:35:32:25 - 00:35:35:17
But the fear, I suppose, is
that is the key word here.
00:35:35:17 - 00:35:38:23
I was afraid of it, which is
probably common for a lot of people.
00:35:39:08 - 00:35:42:08
But what I find very, very
00:35:42:12 - 00:35:46:07
surprising,
and that would be the word when I was
00:35:46:09 - 00:35:49:18
when we were digging into the show today,
you know, this clip in particular
00:35:50:04 - 00:35:53:21
took me a little bit by surprise because
I realized it was a penny drop moment.
00:35:54:23 - 00:35:57:02
I can't expect to be
00:35:57:02 - 00:36:01:01
a fantastic individual
within my team as a leader
00:36:01:15 - 00:36:04:16
if my leadership skills are,
you know, pretty average.
00:36:04:25 - 00:36:07:25
Because at the end of the day,
when you have direct reports,
00:36:08:17 - 00:36:11:15
they are going to be inspired
by your behavior.
00:36:11:15 - 00:36:14:06
So they need to have
00:36:14:06 - 00:36:17:06
the best version of a leader
that's available.
00:36:17:07 - 00:36:21:00
So not only do you have to others
and the business
00:36:21:00 - 00:36:22:24
to be a good leader, but actually,
00:36:22:24 - 00:36:25:24
as we're finding out from Maxwell
and this is the penny drop moment
00:36:26:12 - 00:36:29:12
to not invest the time
00:36:30:03 - 00:36:32:14
in becoming a good leader,
00:36:32:14 - 00:36:34:07
obviously there's lots of different ways
to do that.
00:36:34:07 - 00:36:37:16
As we've delved into on the seven leaders
on the Servant Leadership series.
00:36:38:11 - 00:36:41:02
But if you don't
want to lean into empathy,
00:36:41:02 - 00:36:44:01
you don't want to understand
and respect others,
00:36:44:01 - 00:36:46:08
what you're doing is
you're setting yourself back
00:36:46:08 - 00:36:50:08
because you can't ever go beyond
and further your career
00:36:50:18 - 00:36:53:14
because you're always stuck in the
in the bleachers.
00:36:53:14 - 00:36:53:21
You know,
00:36:53:21 - 00:36:57:22
you're not on the pitch playing the game
because you're afraid to get out there.
00:36:58:05 - 00:37:01:06
I think as we heard in last week's show
with Brené Brown,
00:37:01:15 - 00:37:04:17
this idea of vulnerability
certainly came through.
00:37:05:04 - 00:37:07:23
I think where Maxwell is now taking us
here is saying, well,
00:37:07:23 - 00:37:12:05
we vulnerability is true and
it's going to exist, but it's up to you
00:37:12:05 - 00:37:16:19
whether you smash through that glass
ceiling of your fear of leadership
00:37:17:06 - 00:37:20:05
and therefore raise the lid
a little bit higher.
00:37:20:05 - 00:37:23:14
Yeah, I think for me, Mike,
when I heard this clip
00:37:23:14 - 00:37:26:13
for the first time
and you know, we're digging into it now,
00:37:26:20 - 00:37:30:05
this was a good invitation to me
to really assess.
00:37:30:20 - 00:37:33:20
And what I mean by
that is think about reflect on
00:37:33:25 - 00:37:36:20
and judge the way that I lead my team
00:37:37:24 - 00:37:39:22
and question whether I'm doing it
correctly.
00:37:39:22 - 00:37:41:24
Am I doing it with enough,
00:37:41:24 - 00:37:45:22
you know, emphasis, with enough
enthusiasm, with enough inspiration,
00:37:46:03 - 00:37:49:02
but also more importantly,
with enough direction?
00:37:49:02 - 00:37:53:13
Are there enough, you know, let's call
them KPIs or whatever you want to call it.
00:37:53:23 - 00:37:58:01
Is there enough actionable elements
that my team are able to follow in order
00:37:58:01 - 00:38:01:01
to be the best version of their team
that they can be?
00:38:01:02 - 00:38:04:04
If I'm not setting that, my lid is closed
00:38:04:04 - 00:38:08:01
and I'm not getting myself any better
and the team are getting better either.
00:38:08:11 - 00:38:10:01
It's a surprising insight.
00:38:10:01 - 00:38:11:22
This one, I think.
00:38:11:22 - 00:38:14:22
It reminds me of.
00:38:14:25 - 00:38:19:22
There's a lot of scientific research
supporting the idea that the first
00:38:19:22 - 00:38:24:13
five years of a child is very critical
because they will do a lot of their
00:38:26:09 - 00:38:28:24
you know, they talk about nature
versus nurture, right?
00:38:28:24 - 00:38:32:01
So there there's their inherent nature
and then there's what they nurtured.
00:38:32:01 - 00:38:34:19
And a lot of that nurturing happens
in the first five years.
00:38:34:19 - 00:38:36:22
And from whom the parent?
00:38:36:22 - 00:38:40:22
And how does that lead
turn up in parenting?
00:38:41:07 - 00:38:45:03
There is a lot of evidence
that chill children
00:38:45:25 - 00:38:49:05
will adjust their lead based
00:38:49:05 - 00:38:52:04
on modeling the behavior of their parents.
00:38:52:05 - 00:38:55:18
If their parents say, thank you,
what do you think the kids say?
00:38:55:18 - 00:38:57:03
Mike?
00:38:57:03 - 00:38:59:05
Thank you, Mike.
00:38:59:05 - 00:39:02:05
If the kids are aggressive, sorry.
00:39:02:05 - 00:39:03:24
If the parents are aggressive,
what do you think
00:39:03:24 - 00:39:05:13
the kids are going to do?
00:39:05:13 - 00:39:06:14
They're going to be aggressive, too.
00:39:06:14 - 00:39:07:20
They're going to follow suit.
00:39:07:20 - 00:39:09:16
They're going to follow the pattern.
00:39:09:16 - 00:39:14:01
And leadership in organization
is exactly the same idea.
00:39:14:18 - 00:39:18:23
Only ask of those around you
to do what you are prepared to do.
00:39:18:23 - 00:39:20:02
It's a very common
00:39:21:07 - 00:39:23:17
little piece of wisdom,
00:39:23:17 - 00:39:28:14
but if you're not prepared to do the work
00:39:28:24 - 00:39:32:00
well, hey, what about going
the extra mile?
00:39:33:12 - 00:39:37:06
Is it fair that you have the expectation
that somehow magically you're
00:39:37:06 - 00:39:40:07
going to take it easy and everybody else
is going to go the extra mile?
00:39:40:16 - 00:39:42:07
Hell no.
00:39:42:07 - 00:39:44:01
Then it doesn't work like that.
00:39:44:01 - 00:39:47:14
Know that you've got to again,
it's this idea of behavior, isn't it?
00:39:47:18 - 00:39:50:24
Yes, It's
maybe even, you know, going back to Abby
00:39:50:24 - 00:39:53:24
Wambach,
you know, if you can lead from the bench,
00:39:54:02 - 00:39:57:09
then then that's a great leader
because you're able to
00:39:58:20 - 00:40:03:00
put into practice the things that you've
taught them, perhaps.
00:40:03:18 - 00:40:05:10
Well. Let's use.
00:40:05:10 - 00:40:09:13
You know, in Abby's example,
I mean, just to go
00:40:09:13 - 00:40:12:13
back to that magic story,
00:40:13:01 - 00:40:15:10
arguably the greatest soccer
00:40:15:10 - 00:40:18:11
career in history across all genders,
00:40:19:21 - 00:40:22:21
and she gets
benched for the last game in the World Cup
00:40:23:04 - 00:40:26:18
and she's on the sideline on the bench,
cheering,
00:40:26:18 - 00:40:31:05
helping, supporting
and not for a moment doing bullying.
00:40:31:14 - 00:40:32:21
I would put me.
00:40:32:21 - 00:40:36:03
In a world and I got benched
and I'm never happy
00:40:36:03 - 00:40:39:03
and I don't have my Mercedes friend in and
00:40:40:01 - 00:40:42:24
no, she's like, let's go girls.
00:40:42:24 - 00:40:45:10
We're going to get this done.
00:40:45:10 - 00:40:50:13
And that just raised the lid insanely.
00:40:51:09 - 00:40:53:14
It's exactly, exactly
00:40:53:14 - 00:40:57:04
that intention, that behavior,
it demonstrated to the team.
00:40:57:05 - 00:40:59:19
Well, if I'm not bothered by it,
you shouldn't be either.
00:40:59:19 - 00:41:03:05
In fact, if I'm sitting on the bench,
I'm still this enthusiastic and
00:41:03:13 - 00:41:06:11
and ready for this game to.
00:41:06:11 - 00:41:07:14
Be a level of my head.
00:41:07:14 - 00:41:09:12
If you're on yet,
you'd better meet me here.
00:41:11:04 - 00:41:12:02
So this
00:41:12:02 - 00:41:15:04
this is this is fantastic
because I think where we're
00:41:15:10 - 00:41:19:08
what we're seeing is
you got to lead to succeed.
00:41:20:11 - 00:41:23:07
You've got to really
00:41:23:07 - 00:41:27:09
understand that you earn this influence
through your daily behaviors.
00:41:27:23 - 00:41:31:10
And I believe that
if you're doing this in a cycle,
00:41:32:04 - 00:41:37:00
then you've got some
but not all of the picture.
00:41:37:00 - 00:41:40:08
And I think this last clip opens up
the opportunity
00:41:40:08 - 00:41:43:19
to reflect on this process
and to continuously improve it.
00:41:44:01 - 00:41:47:17
So, Mark, why don't you slay us
with your last clip for the show?
00:41:48:15 - 00:41:51:20
Well, might get ready to be slight
because this clip,
00:41:52:15 - 00:41:55:14
I think it's going to be inspirational.
00:41:55:22 - 00:41:56:02
I think
00:41:56:02 - 00:41:59:22
it's going to set us up as we think
what are the things that we need to start
00:41:59:22 - 00:42:05:00
putting into practice to really help us
raise our lids as well as our creativity?
00:42:05:17 - 00:42:07:02
Let's hear from Maxwell.
00:42:07:02 - 00:42:10:16
Sadly, it's going to be
the clip of today's show, number 250.
00:42:10:23 - 00:42:11:19
But let's hear from Max.
00:42:11:19 - 00:42:14:19
Give us some classic daily wisdom
00:42:15:03 - 00:42:19:06
around jotting
and how writing gives Maxwell direction.
00:42:20:05 - 00:42:23:05
I write every day,
00:42:23:07 - 00:42:26:06
and what I've discovered is this writing
00:42:26:06 - 00:42:29:06
brings clarity to thinking.
00:42:29:07 - 00:42:32:06
In fact,
the process goes something like this.
00:42:32:09 - 00:42:33:21
I think it.
00:42:33:21 - 00:42:36:21
I say it, I write it.
00:42:37:22 - 00:42:41:15
Sane gives me buy in to what I'm thinking,
00:42:43:00 - 00:42:45:25
but writing gives me direction.
00:42:46:22 - 00:42:50:07
You see something that you have written,
It's very clear.
00:42:51:07 - 00:42:55:25
In fact, that's why when you read
something, it is so much more.
00:42:56:02 - 00:42:59:06
Not only visual to you,
but you immediately
00:42:59:06 - 00:43:02:10
can see a good sentence
from a bad sentence because it's written
00:43:02:10 - 00:43:05:10
when you hear
and it just kind of runs together.
00:43:05:19 - 00:43:08:10
So when I talk about writing every day,
00:43:08:10 - 00:43:12:25
what I'm saying is you need to spend time
reflecting and learning.
00:43:13:25 - 00:43:16:24
So you begin to
you don't have to be a journal person.
00:43:17:04 - 00:43:20:04
You don't have to do that
just just to be a jot person.
00:43:20:05 - 00:43:22:05
I jot. I really don't journal.
00:43:22:05 - 00:43:26:17
Just just have your iPhone ready
or have something quick that you can
00:43:26:17 - 00:43:29:24
just every day write down your thoughts,
Write down your quotes.
00:43:30:12 - 00:43:33:05
Never let a day, never let a day escape
00:43:33:05 - 00:43:37:08
without writing down
something that's worth repeating.
00:43:38:18 - 00:43:41:09
Yes, that's worth repeating.
00:43:41:09 - 00:43:44:24
In fact, I get my iPhone
and I open up to my sections
00:43:44:24 - 00:43:48:03
where I jot
and where I put these thoughts in quotes.
00:43:48:24 - 00:43:52:22
And every day I just pull it down
and I just look at it and reflect on it.
00:43:53:20 - 00:43:56:11
Writing makes you a clear leader
00:43:56:11 - 00:43:59:11
and clarity gives confidence.
00:44:00:15 - 00:44:01:24
Clarity gives confidence.
00:44:01:24 - 00:44:06:12
He was on a bit of a roll there, Mark,
but I will take you back to what he said.
00:44:06:23 - 00:44:11:04
Write down something worth repeat. Oof!
00:44:13:03 - 00:44:16:18
So, you know, I'm going to forgive John
C Maxwell.
00:44:16:18 - 00:44:21:05
He's talking a little slang on the old
journaling there, Mark, And he's on
00:44:21:14 - 00:44:24:13
sensitive ground with you in me
there, isn't he?
00:44:24:19 - 00:44:29:08
I mean, look, I know I had to weigh up
whether I was going to put this clip in.
00:44:29:08 - 00:44:33:10
I know that our listeners and particularly
our members will be familiar
00:44:33:19 - 00:44:37:14
with our testimonies around
journaling and reflection and so on.
00:44:37:25 - 00:44:43:12
But the reason why I think this one is such a practice that we should, you know, re
00:44:44:18 - 00:44:47:18
enforce or encourage
00:44:47:18 - 00:44:50:04
is the fact it's a way
00:44:50:04 - 00:44:53:04
of repeating information.
00:44:53:13 - 00:44:54:08
And that's the key.
00:44:54:08 - 00:44:56:16
The key takeaway, as you've just said
as well, Mike.
00:44:56:16 - 00:44:59:08
Rather than you know, where we would go
00:44:59:08 - 00:45:02:13
with journaling around,
reflecting on the things that we have,
00:45:03:11 - 00:45:05:03
you know, Don felt
00:45:05:03 - 00:45:08:13
the way that we are interpreting things
to hold ourselves accountable
00:45:08:19 - 00:45:12:00
and take ownership of certain
behaviors, motivations and so on.
00:45:12:20 - 00:45:15:08
I think Maxwell's point
is slightly different here.
00:45:15:08 - 00:45:18:20
I feel like Maxwell's point here
is a little bit more around maybe Julie
00:45:18:20 - 00:45:23:07
Cameron's book around morning pages,
I believe, where are jotting
00:45:23:08 - 00:45:26:14
based more on inspiration
as well as things that you've learned.
00:45:27:02 - 00:45:30:13
And I like this idea
because then that helps us become leaders
00:45:30:13 - 00:45:34:07
that are going to teach,
that can share wisdom, share information,
00:45:34:24 - 00:45:38:11
where I'm getting inspired
by this idea of jotting.
00:45:38:14 - 00:45:41:20
It is quite different in my mind
to, you know, the classic journaling
00:45:42:04 - 00:45:45:09
because it has a different type
of, let's call it deliverable.
00:45:45:24 - 00:45:48:09
It's possible that I'll jot something down
and say, Hey, might
00:45:48:09 - 00:45:51:13
you never guess what
I what I what I wrote down yesterday?
00:45:51:13 - 00:45:52:14
Check this out.
00:45:52:14 - 00:45:56:02
It feels a little bit more sharable,
I suppose, is one way of putting it.
00:45:56:09 - 00:45:58:12
But also, Mike,
it feels much more like a mantra.
00:45:59:24 - 00:46:00:05
yeah.
00:46:00:05 - 00:46:03:10
And you know, I'm a bit partial
to a good mantra, Mark.
00:46:04:04 - 00:46:08:13
I do every single
so every single day, right?
00:46:09:10 - 00:46:11:13
And I think that's where Maxwell goes
towards
00:46:11:13 - 00:46:14:13
the end of the clip
where he'll pull down the notes and,
00:46:14:22 - 00:46:18:12
you know, drop in and out every so often
to get maybe a little bit of inspiration.
00:46:19:04 - 00:46:22:16
I feel as though maybe Maxwell
could take a leaf out of your book, Mike,
00:46:22:16 - 00:46:26:03
and, you know, start hitting the daily
mantra a little bit more
00:46:26:14 - 00:46:28:08
and maybe
even getting some journaling in there.
00:46:28:08 - 00:46:33:25
But I do like the idea of revisiting these
moments, let's call them of inspiration.
00:46:33:25 - 00:46:36:15
That is that he's dropped down
00:46:36:15 - 00:46:39:14
because they lead to sharing knowledge,
00:46:39:21 - 00:46:42:20
which I think is which
is a wonderful thing for a leader to do.
00:46:43:00 - 00:46:44:22
Where were you getting
inspired with that clip?
00:46:46:09 - 00:46:47:12
I believe the
00:46:47:12 - 00:46:50:13
power of what he's saying is
whether you like to journal or jot.
00:46:50:19 - 00:46:51:21
It doesn't matter.
00:46:51:21 - 00:46:54:01
Choose what works for you.
00:46:54:01 - 00:46:57:24
But I believe where we're presented
00:46:57:24 - 00:47:00:23
with so much information
throughout the course of a day
00:47:01:16 - 00:47:05:20
that if we don't find a mechanism,
journaling, jotting, or
00:47:06:20 - 00:47:10:09
whatever, if you don't find the thing
that works for you,
00:47:10:09 - 00:47:15:08
how do you honestly think you're going
to process
00:47:15:21 - 00:47:18:07
and move from not just knowledge
00:47:18:07 - 00:47:21:10
but getting to understanding
and from understanding?
00:47:21:10 - 00:47:24:10
Develop your own insights
and from insights.
00:47:24:10 - 00:47:28:00
See opportunities the way forward,
00:47:29:19 - 00:47:32:03
whatever it is that helps you think
00:47:32:03 - 00:47:35:13
clearly, process, digest
everything that's going on.
00:47:37:18 - 00:47:40:17
If you don't do that,
you will be a victim to your environment
00:47:40:17 - 00:47:46:02
as opposed to being in control
because you won't have a clear view.
00:47:46:07 - 00:47:50:07
Of course in a perfect correlation,
you won't see it.
00:47:51:09 - 00:47:54:12
So you'll
miss problems and they'll get big
00:47:54:18 - 00:47:57:18
and you'll miss opportunities
because you'll be blind.
00:47:58:00 - 00:47:59:18
Whatever it takes.
00:47:59:18 - 00:48:01:20
Journal jot.
00:48:01:20 - 00:48:02:25
Jump up and down.
00:48:02:25 - 00:48:05:24
If it starts with a J,
it sounds like it's all right to me.
00:48:06:12 - 00:48:07:02
Crazy.
00:48:07:02 - 00:48:10:01
Just go crazy and find a way to process.
00:48:10:02 - 00:48:13:07
Martin, You're obviously processing
a whole show here.
00:48:13:17 - 00:48:16:21
What is the homework assignment for you
00:48:17:01 - 00:48:20:01
after digging into 21 irrefutable laws?
00:48:21:04 - 00:48:25:11
Well, Mike, I think for me,
it really comes down into the second
00:48:25:11 - 00:48:26:12
half of the show.
00:48:26:12 - 00:48:30:06
This idea of the lid,
I think there's accountability in there.
00:48:30:17 - 00:48:33:21
But also I think it's a great opportunity
00:48:33:21 - 00:48:36:21
to really it's an invitation
00:48:37:04 - 00:48:40:16
to consider where all of us are
within our leadership journeys.
00:48:41:17 - 00:48:46:01
We can utilize tools like jotting
in order to break through that ceiling
00:48:46:01 - 00:48:49:14
and lift the lid because you're able
to get better and become an expert.
00:48:50:08 - 00:48:52:02
But for me, it's it's the lid.
00:48:52:02 - 00:48:53:13
That's what I want to dig in.
00:48:53:13 - 00:48:57:11
I want to reflect on and see,
you know, just how much of a lid.
00:48:57:11 - 00:48:58:12
Where's my lid?
00:48:58:12 - 00:49:01:22
That's that's what I think
I need to go and do, I suppose.
00:49:01:22 - 00:49:02:13
What about you?
00:49:02:13 - 00:49:05:13
We learn a lot today from John C Maxwell.
00:49:05:19 - 00:49:06:12
What stood out to you?
00:49:07:25 - 00:49:08:17
Well, I do have
00:49:08:17 - 00:49:11:20
great appreciation for the lid,
and that is one of his unique concepts.
00:49:11:25 - 00:49:15:23
I like actually where we started,
which is leadership
00:49:15:23 - 00:49:19:18
is influence and influences trust
and being consistent, Keeping your word.
00:49:19:18 - 00:49:21:06
Doing what you said.
00:49:21:06 - 00:49:23:22
Being consistent
and reliable and transparent.
00:49:23:22 - 00:49:28:06
Things we can talk so easily about.
00:49:28:06 - 00:49:31:06
But I think it's in the heat of the battle
00:49:31:10 - 00:49:34:12
where you have to remember
to stay on track.
00:49:34:15 - 00:49:35:11
Right.
00:49:35:11 - 00:49:39:16
It's the classic moment
when the snooze alarm comes up
00:49:40:01 - 00:49:42:16
as snoozing and losing.
00:49:42:16 - 00:49:44:23
Are you jumping out of bed? Right.
00:49:44:23 - 00:49:47:06
Are you going to be consistent?
00:49:47:06 - 00:49:50:15
Are you going to build the trust
to influence
00:49:50:15 - 00:49:54:00
others and have true leadership? Who?
00:49:54:09 - 00:49:57:09
Marky Mark 250 shows.
00:49:57:15 - 00:50:00:21
I got 250 horsepower
to process all of that.
00:50:01:20 - 00:50:03:22
I want to thank you, Mark,
00:50:03:22 - 00:50:08:19
and I want to thank you, our listeners,
members and viewers for joining us
00:50:08:19 - 00:50:12:04
here on a very special anniversary
show, show 250,
00:50:12:14 - 00:50:17:23
with John C Maxwell and his 21
irrefutable laws of leadership.
00:50:18:11 - 00:50:20:25
And boy, that began
00:50:20:25 - 00:50:23:07
with the law of influence.
00:50:23:07 - 00:50:27:08
How do you build influence
with those around you in authority?
00:50:27:16 - 00:50:29:24
You earn it every single day.
00:50:29:24 - 00:50:33:20
And as you interact with those people,
the sweetest word in the world
00:50:34:07 - 00:50:37:02
is their name. Don't forget it.
00:50:37:02 - 00:50:41:13
And as you move through your organization
and, you know, collaborate
00:50:41:13 - 00:50:44:19
with different people, remember,
you're always setting the bar.
00:50:45:03 - 00:50:48:12
You're lifting the leader,
the level of performance,
00:50:48:12 - 00:50:52:08
the level of trust, the level of alignment
in the business to where they're going.
00:50:52:19 - 00:50:56:10
And it is you get to the end of the day,
remember that you need to reflect whether
00:50:56:10 - 00:51:00:12
it's journaling or jotting right down
and ask yourself, what did you do?
00:51:00:12 - 00:51:01:11
How did you do it?
00:51:01:11 - 00:51:02:20
Or Why did you do it?
00:51:02:20 - 00:51:06:09
Do those things and you will be
the best version of yourself.
00:51:06:14 - 00:51:09:04
Do those things
with us here on the Moonshot podcast
00:51:09:04 - 00:51:12:13
and you'll be doing it
while we learn out loud together.
00:51:12:19 - 00:51:13:25
So come join us.
00:51:13:25 - 00:51:17:17
Be a leader to succeed here
on the Moonshot podcast.