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Opening with a spritz and a roar the boys discuss the top five hairstyles of all time including a Star Wars reference and an attack on mullets.
Contact us at: matesandtakes@gmail.com
Creators & Guests
Producer
Stien Huizenga
Stien, not known for his luscious locks, is the brains behind the operation. What is the operation? We don't know but he's good at looking busy.
What is Mates and Takes?
Three mates Liam, Oliver and occasionally Cam fight passionately across a variety of categories spanning human history, pop culture and the natural world.
Kia Ora and welcome to a brand new Nexus podcast, hosted by myself Oliver and my good friend. Yeah. Hi, I stoked to be here. Um, can I just point out, first of all, we should pat ourselves on the back for being so brave, um, to straight white men with a middle-class upbringing, finally getting their voices out into the public.
I think all of the, you and I should really pat ourselves on the back as to straight white men finally being like the. Flood gate moment where more of our people can get it, voice it out. It's not like it's dominated for the last 120 years. I think that'd be great. I'm actually tearing up hearing you say that.
I couldn't agree more. Yeah, it's just, it's beautiful. Good for us. Good for authentic. Look at us. Well, me and cam were really good friends. Uh, we actually worked together and as good friends too, we kind of just tools. Nonsense on the daily total shit all the time. So if it's, if it's not here, it's at work.
If it's not at work, we're messaging each other. So we thought a lot, let's just turn this into some kind of show and like any good podcasts. We have our own gimmick. Um, so welcome along to the top five podcast where we basically each episode bring our personal top five. What we believe to be the top five of any given case.
Yeah. And, uh, I mean this week is going to be of course, haircuts hairstyles, hairstyles. Sorry. Well, is there a difference? Really? I looked up the definition of Kia styles, which I think is quite fluid and works in our favor. So the definition is a particular way in which a person's here is cut or arranged.
So it just kind of opens it up for us. We can pick and choose that way. So I'd say his style. Yeah. I want to hear a cop. What includes a hit. So that's the way someone could cut rule, arrange their here and that's, which does Oxford call it. That's a Google all. And I refuse to go deeper than like a, just a straight, you know, Google URL.
Yeah. Ask James. Um, yeah. Well, I mean, if you've got the definition, I've got criteria, I'm sure. Yeah. Have criteria. Yup. Just kind of felt it out. Yeah. I went with kind of what I was vibing. If you don't know, I'm a planner and all of her is very much not. He's a chaotic energy that shouldn't ever be trusted, uh, for anyone that's listening.
Uh, and you probably can't even see it in the video. I have a printed out piece of paper. I have a notebook. And a pain. So I just, that's not right. Pin indicates he's organized. So here's the criteria, right? Volume, not your criteria, the, yeah, the criteria. So volume. So not, you know, when you're at a hairdresser and, uh, your like, they're like how much volume do you want on your head?
Not like that, but like the statement of your hairstyle I thought was really vital. So how, how much, like how the haircut can be in STD? You know, so like the Mohawk for punk rock, I thought it was a good way to sort of think about that or a crew cut for the military. But then also there can be times when like the hair style is style is enough on its own.
And I thought that it was also worth consideration. So both how it works into an aesthetic, but then also how it stands on its own. Um, and then I also had, which kind of goes without saying these aren't haircuts that I would want, um, it just guts that I think should be in the discussion. For all time and they all had to be primarily real here.
I thought that was a vital considering. So I'm glad you've written out the criteria and she had it with me because it's just made me realize I was already thinking all that stuff. I just don't necessarily need to write it down because I have a B yeah, yeah. You see numbers. Yeah. That's cool. So would you have.
So I'm going to start us off, I guess you have to, you've got an old written out your mind, your a beautiful mind. All right. So at number five, I have shaved anything between a zero and a number three. Interesting. Um, to me, I think the argument is it's essentially the most low maintenance haircut. His style.
We're going to, sorry. We're going to use haircut and he has changed a lot. You can use either. Um, for me, a lot of the times in the morning, I will only shower because of my hair. I don't want it to look kind of unkempt before work. Um, and you could push back and say, well, why don't you just kind of wit your hair?
I don't know if you've ever wit just exclusively. You'll hear in the morning, I've wet your hair, but it is just the worst experience. So no showers is a huge tech for me. That's, that's interesting because number five for me is also for my hairstyle. Cut is also closely shaved. Wow. It's for people who don't know or aren't going to watch on YouTube, I have closely shaved here.
I think the main term is follicly challenged and have been for a long time. It's so low maintenance it's streamlined. It makes me faster. Um, I also, if I've ever put on a bike helmet, I've never had little Tufts of hair poking out and I think that's a massive consider. Yeah. Like the, the void of any kind of hat or beanie here.
Never have to worry about it if, uh, yeah. That's actually a huge, a huge one. I think if the shaved head was an fleet, it would be Kobe Bryant. It's efficient. It's all business all the time. It's there to win, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it really suits like a predator, like Mamba athlete. Yeah. However you want to use it in the athletic frame.
I liked the way the, I, I liked the idea of a shaved hair style on a guy just being like a regular guy and then a shaved here, style on a Gill being a very easily . So you've got often looks very good. Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And on both case in point I might add. You kind of need the right shaped head.
Yeah. You're quite lucky. Yeah, because there's a lot of peanut brains out there. Yeah. If you look at AOL, it's not going to go, well, I have more on the peanut brain side of things. So this is a short as I will. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you had that. I've gone to somewhere in here that you've got a peanut, Brian. I know you said you've got a beautiful mind.
That's what you call it, but we call it a peanut. Right. So, yeah. That's, I'm glad you finally. Wording it, how everyone else does. I also think it's like a very underwrited point is it's cost-effective, like I mentioned, you haven't paid for a haircut since 2016 curiosity. What did you ask for in 2016? Um, Denial I think is what they called it.
That you have to come over. Yeah, I did. Yeah. And then the wind caught at one day at a photo for like my nephew's birthday. And then just as the photos being taken, the wind caught it and sent it the other way. And I was like, oh, that's what that actually looks like. This is going to come in the next day.
Shaped a little bit. Your last haircut you asked for in 2016, was it just give me a second? I don't even remember. Um, no, I think it was just almost like the standard high school haircut. Like I wasn't too far out of high school, top long back side almost. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.
All business all the time. Um, I still had to pass my NCA and level three at 18, so, you know, but then straight after that I was like, okay, cool. This needs to. This is, uh, a disgrace to my family. Well, I mean, listen, here you are with the top five haircut, he has style. Um, you're doing great. H a I R I N the only other point I had for this one was, uh, there's a little bit of room for creativity and I point to dentistry.
So if you want, you can get kind of crazy with the hair dye. Yeah. Um, which I feel like people are doing a little bit more these days. I don't want to be clear if this is now a sales pitch. This is an elaborate sales pitch to have your friends shave their head and then subsequently have it done. This is a lot, you've put a lot of work into this big, the level of the prank you think, and that is the end of the podcast is genius.
All right. Well, if I'm going to start with my five, I think seeing as though we matched yeah. Start with your four. So my four, um, It's called the , which I don't know. A lot of people don't know what it's called. A lot of people don't know what it's called, but you know it when you see it. Right. Um, so let me describe it for the folks you describe it.
Can I read out what the name of it was for me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the name of it was the Roman Catholic monk, AKA the math teacher, AKA your dad, the dad caught. Yeah. Um, so I actually did a little looking into it. It goes back to a method of demonstrating sympathy or mourning. So like if your friend's brother died, Did you shave your head looking like a ridiculous psychopath to be like that sucks.
Do we need to describe it for the full people? Yes, I've got, I think like, you know, like a wine pairing when you go out to dinner and you're like, oh, that fish would go real nice with that seven year old blunt. So here's my wine pairing for that haircut wrapped around dirty dog, sunglasses, mustache long.
It here you balance six to four hours. Sock tans, beige cargo pants with a zipper at the NAIT to become cargo shorts, super rugby Jersey from circuit oh eight catch phrases, such as easy there. Big fella here comes trouble and is also a phenomenal dad even with, or without kids. I just a good dad and general packed lunch.
Kind of good dad. That is amazing. That's how I imagine that here. I think, um, just in case you still, haven't got a picture of it in your head, um, at home, it is essentially here that grows around the sides and back, and there is just basically nothing on top is an abyss. So it's someone that's gone bold on the scalp and has decided to kind of just go loosey goosey, nothing about eating anything else.
There is like basically no upkeep whatsoever. They're all positives. I've got plus 10 experience points in these categories. But with that haircut, barbecuing, sneezing moving furniture napping while sitting upright, uh, lawn mowing and holding your phone just a bit too close when you're typing something into the group.
I thought all of that is like, that comes with that haircut. You get that haircut and you just get immediately 10 experience points on all of those fields. So my points for this one, um, first of all, cause obviously there has to be some good from this haircut, which to get it in the top five, I pointed them out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, and some people might not backing a trailer. I had, um, a nod to tradition. So like, like you pointed out, um, The old school monks, that kind of hairstyle. Yeah. It's also great. If you have like a really hot, hot scalp and coldy is, um, and it's like the perfect, because I think the biggest thing it's got going for it though, is it is the maximum level of just not giving a shit.
Yeah, it is peak. Like you just kind of like, you just do not care about the way you look, if you are rocking this haircut. And there was like this pseudonym, Laura, that you unlock. Mm, if you just don't care about anything, like if you're just like, that's me from the top, everything down is just down to clown don't care.
Yeah. It'd be, yeah, that, that is definitely like a, an underrated aspect. I think, of any like hairstyle caught the whole point is that you are kind of trying to style something intentionally. So intentionally abandoning that idea. Going the opposite direction, I think is poetic. You know, is it also the only haircut in human history that like women do not like if I have like, even back in the day when it was that sign of more.
Would women like it's a brotherhood, right? The middle of the brotherhood. So it's not like a sibling. So th that's not necessarily a good thing, but it makes it unique, I suppose. So I would argue that in the realm of hair style cuts, uh, women have like a finer and more refined taste because they've got more hair.
So they've just figured out how to do more stuff with it. And so. Like for them to abandon that idea, which is kind of fitting, given what my point number three is going to be. Um, I think indicates that it's clearly not a good look, you know, I not a single person of 50%, like 50% all of the gender. 50%.
There's a bull. Yeah. That's pretty phenomenal. Yeah. Shout out dads, shout out dads man. Shout out dad. Um, I wonder if I move on with number three? Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to know your numbers. This is almost certainly in your top three. I guarantee it. Um, so my number three is Afro also in my top three. Yeah. Yeah.
But not number three, not number three. Okay. Now that's cool. Um, perhaps, perhaps we'll just talk to it now. So you can, so where do you have it in your top? I've got to first. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not like I'm not mad at that at all. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, so, so for me, it's, first of all, you have to have that certain type of hair.
Right? So, um, all of a sudden, it's this exclusive club. Um, my big things was there is this versatility that comes with it. Um, you can do it kind of natural, grow it out. You can rock different styles, like a high top fade. Um, which is just insanely cool. Um, yeah, the fully realized Afro from like the seventies is just one of the most iconic images.
The roller skate. Yeah, yeah. Disco. Yeah. And just the Heights that it could grow to was just, I mean, that's like, um, Austin Bowers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay. And then my final point, and this is kind of exclusive to me, but I actually think probably a lot of things. Um, is I'm obsessed with the NBA.
And to me, NBA players are like the coolest people on the planet. And so many NBA players have had an Afro, um, thinking like Dr. J, uh, Ben Wallace, Kobe Bryant, Kurt Rambis. Um, I don't think Kurt Rambis look into it, then we look into it and be disciplined. That that is a man for the dad cut. Like that is a pedigree of the day.
Cut. Did he have a mullet? Yeah. Yeah, he did have a motto, but now not so much. Tidy at the back, by the way, should we just address that really quickly? I'm going to assume you don't have my lid in your top five. No, I don't. I don't have the molars even near, like, so I had, I had honorable mentions close cuts if you will, will you?
Yeah, you probably will. Um, and so, and there, I had the toupee and I had the judges were, which only didn't make it because they're not real here. I would have either of those before a mullet. I don't like its resurgence. What are you telling me? In 2021? And when, when judges wig over a mullet, if I had to.
Okay. Is it just over-saturation at this point for you? Yeah, I think it's just like nostalgia of a bygone era that it's just that we really need to relive that I'm just, I've been shocked at how, like how mainstream it's actually gotten, I suppose there's just like dominoes and everyone's kind of sinking their teeth into the Mawlid experience.
I don't mean to immediately exclude. As you said, like it's a mainstream experience. So this could be a large portion of forthcoming listeners, but I find that it's almost an excuse for a lack of personality. That's my argument. That's my take. Um, I, every time, every time someone has a mullet that it's like being a, you know, assigned tone, just they'll bring it planned.
30 seconds. Yeah. Been grown in the south six months. It's like, Jay, I know it. You know, we own know it you've been, you've not been doing anything. It's like a glorified rat tail. I think the only thing I'll say to that is there's different levels to my lips. Right. And there is the kind of duty rural mullet that is just like fully more of a wind in my book.
Well, to me, I feel like that's who you're describing, where it's like, I know guys with quite stylish mullets, which, um, Like I see them and I go, oh fuck, God damn. I want on my leg the way round. I'm the exact opposite way around. I think the role model of the line, red spates era, I've got all the time in the world for that.
That's a hard man. And New Zealand has been on those person's shoulders for a long time. But I am not about to sit here and listen to a man who drinks like a coconut milk latte with a mullet. You know, you can't have both, you can't have both, you can't be wearing Birkenstocks and having them. Okay. It's my tape.
I actually just, you can't grow and I wonder how much, sorry. Sorry. Can't and shouldn't here is getting very blunt. Let's not lose track of effort because I think we obviously need a tool. Well, do you want a tool? Yeah. Yeah. I've got a few extra points. So I think that the effort paved the way for the trip.
I think that needs to be sat on for just a minute. Um, and I also think, can you expand on that? I don't think I need to it's bouncy. Okay. My brother had an Afro. I don't know if you know those, but George had an fr for a little while. Um, because he just didn't like, he didn't maintain his hair at all and you could apply pressure to it and you could feel it physically bouncing back, like pulling flip.
Yeah. Yeah. What wing foot. Yeah. Yeah, boy. Yeah. Um, and so that, for me, I was just like, this is what I think open. I get double balanced, I guess the same thing when you hit that person's Afro to bounces back. It's the same thing. Um, and then I also had that, it opens up the possibility for the timeless accessory, the Afro comb, which I think is one of the coolest hair accessories.
You can get, you pull it out. That's it. That's all it is. It's just an Afro comb. It doesn't nothing else. And it's just beautiful. W w w yeah, I don't think I had considered accessories, but just off the top of my head, I don't think anything comes close to the Afrikaan. It is. That is just, it's so bad. Yeah.
Yeah. And the fact that it just doesn't really have a place. It just kind of floats in the here until it's needed. It's just so sad. That's the only his style where if you, if you had a hit, like let's say let's just, I mean, I don't mean to shit on words, but like, let's say you just had a comb and you'll mullet.
You're not looking cool or anything. People like you got a comb in your mallet. If you've got an Afro comb, people like this guy has got an image that he's curious. Westland the prince look, the shoulder pads, the, you know, everything is just coming together really well. And I think that that's something to celebrate.
I also, um, I heard hear what you said on the NBA, the coolest people. And while I agree that people who have Afros are very cool, I'm going to push back. The Bob Ross is the coolest man. If I have an effort, not anyone in the NBA, you've never seen an sad person with an effort. And I think Bob Ross is a leading contributor except carrot top, which is probably a dated reference now.
But I don't think Cara dope is overly happy about a props for that, man. Um, and also I had a quick list of people who have an Afro and this is a pretty weird, like you said, like group of exclusivity, Colin Kaepernick, Michael Jackson, Pam Greer, Cher Coleman blue. Famed actor from jumpin Disney's triumph of 2012.
Okay. Okay. I want to, I just, I want to jump in here because me and cam play 21 questions on long car trips. And for those of you that don't know, 21 questions is when you think of a famous person and then the other person asks only yes or no questions to try and whittle it down and guess who it is. And the sky used Coleman blur, which if you is a blur.
Yeah, it's blah clubs. It's like boring flip. And if you really delve into the channels that it would take to get to this person, they start on high school musical. And that's not like it's a movie, but it's a straight to TV movie, which is so hard to get to. And the game of 21 questions. So what I'm trying to get across is.
You're so scummy for booking that person. Yeah. Like I said, I was doing my research and he popped up and I thought, well, that's perfect. Um, I love jumping, which I don't even know if you know, but that was a skipping rope. I remember. And, uh, I'm disappointed in takeoff anyway. So Corbin, blur, bras and Lenny Kravitz.
And the only thing that links those people is the Afro and I stand up. They love all of them who doesn't, that would probably link everyone in the world, animals, animals, they hate us. All right. I'm just going to, um, interrupt the podcast for, uh, an a paid advertising real quick. I can just get into, do you have diarrhea?
This is an interactive, please. Don't interrupt the ad. Do you have diarrhea? Good. Neither do we, but do you struggle to spell the word diarrhea here at T H spelling? We give you the tools to spell words like poop, butthole, spluttering, and of course diarrhea for the young professional who is constantly spellchecking the emails will look no further the aids.
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Um, obviously we're blessed to have a sponsor for the very first episode before we have any kind of audience fan base. Um, yeah, I'd like to speak to that before I met T H spelling. Um, I spout diarrhea D Y I on stopped. Cause you're pretty good with this stuff. Spelling. How do you spell diarrhea D uh, well, I went to the spelling.
Yeah. Okay. So when down to th spelling where all your problems can be solved with the spell, uh, and I think it was the I a R R H O E. Um, I only, the reason I signed on to T H spelling is because, um, it was shocking how many times I was using the word diarrhea in my creative writing. I can agree with that.
And I was sick of using spellcheck. Um, so could not recommend that product highly enough. Well, should we move on to the top too? Well, she likes to jump in here because I'm still at three because Afro's top for me all, you still need the w three is your at two, right? Well, let's get your all, cause you don't have a number one.
Yeah, no, my number one's been used up. Okay. So my number three. Has a little bit of context around it for the argument is I'm just going to get out in front of it and I'm expecting pushback, um, the princess Leia side bonds. And here's why there's a couple of logical reasons. And then there's the sort of, if you'll bear with me a longer overbearing reason where I think this is deserving of being number three and also equally ridiculous.
Um, so it's permanent earmuffs obviously. Kind of expands on that idea of code head. What would you say code is hothead? Yeah, that's cool. I couldn't think of anything worse than permanent EMR spoke. Continue. Yeah. You and me both. Um, also they're impossible to replicate and iconic. So if you ever saw anyone with that, they're just about to cause play.
They're not, no one has that haircut. Um, is that problematic? Because I suppose like you can't use the. Um, casually. Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of narrows down its applications. Yeah. Say it's the most unique haircut I would argue in the world only being worn by one character. Right. And you know, so like, whereas the dad look is universal.
I think that that should be celebrated for its. So it's kind of the flip of that. And also there's the, the reason is Carrie Fisher, a massive Coke kid needed to keep all of the strands of her hair out of those lines that she was doing off her pinkie. Um, but I've also got those wider reason, which I'm not a massive star wars fan, so I'm very happy to be wrong head.
I'm pretty sure she's the first person you see in star wars for return of the Jedi, which is of course the first star was released to the public. I think she's the first human face dogs. Some rebels. Do you see some rebel soldiers? Some nondescript rebel soldiers. Yeah. Let's, let's lean on that description of dialogue.
Yeah. So you have stormtroopers with a mask DaVita with a mask, and then you've got C3 PO obviously not a human and then a princess Leia, right? So she's the first face that you see. And so she's your introduction to the human element of this movie or franchise then straight after that, please help me or be one you're my only hope or whatever you see Luke Luke's uncle Luke's, auntie obiwan and Han solo, and all of them have normal.
So she has decided it's not like this is a world where everyone has wacky haircuts. It's not like everyone's wearing, be crazy easy, like Mohawks and multicolor, like blade runner has all of this really great world-building right. And there's an instance, the only person who thought this aircraft was cool was Prince's lab.
And, and by extension of course, George Lucas, which I love because then when she goes to be job of the hot six life, he ditches that haircut and becomes something else. And it's just like, cool. It's just like, by the way, guys, when I want to be a disgusting human being as a director, I'm definitely aware of what usually what to use as sacralizing.
It is not an ear muffs. I think that's beautiful. Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, so that's where I've got it. I like, I don't really have any problems with it. It had an even, uh, popped up in my radar, not even a little bit. Um, so for that reason, I'm really glad and I don't really. Since you brought it up. I don't know if I would make it room for it, but, uh, I I'm happy.
It made the episode, you know, I'm not, uh, oh, cool. Yeah. Cool. You've got your little thing with your little star wars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to fly the plane for a little bit. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Thanks. It's I've got this. Thanks. Big guy. Thanks, man. I don't mean to make a mockery of your show, but well, the show.
Yeah, well, my show, but, uh, but you know, here we are with princess Leia, sideburns or side bums at three. Happy to have you here. Well, let's move on. Sure. At number two, I have the ponytail. Maybe that's your number two. Oh, okay. Okay. And I've only got one left, so I'm just going to give the district. Yeah, I'm going to have you go to one and then.
Okay, that's cool. Final one. Um, I've got that. It's like this hairstyle, that's both beautiful and no nonsense, which I think there's something really special about that. Um, I love a ponytail myself. I think I'm a little biased. I dunno. It's just one of my just personal favorite hairstyles out there, aesthetically.
Um, I don't know how you really quantify that because all his styles are different. So I guess some of it's come down to personal taste, right. Um, Scrunchies are the best scrunchies are just really dope, right? Like in terms of hair histories, which I mentioned, I didn't really think about, but when I was on the ponytail, I was like, scrunchies a coat.
They just like super dove. So full disclosure. When you said, I can't think of any, I was thinking of scrunchies, but I thought the cope for at least for a bit, and I knew they wouldn't go freely. So I just sat quiet, like, yeah, me neither, but no. Yeah. Scrunchies are great scrunchies off for at least depending on your swag.
They're really great. Um, I've got here on my piece of paper keeps here out of your eyes,
which I think is important. Yeah. That is important. I would hate to have here in my eyes. You have it. Not a very long one. You got very high eyes. Yeah. Um, I have a nice, like a fully realized forehead, so I don't really have, um, problems that, that is true. Very nice. Um, and my last thing on this is it's the working woman style and it's the non-working man's styles.
So like you would have, you know, um, these, these, uh, hugely successful. A woman with ponytails, you can say hugely unsuccessful, oscillators. Yeah, huge boss. And then the CA the type of guys that we have ponytails, I like on the way, other side of the spectrum, where they've just given up completely on any kind of career.
Um, they probably live in a caravan. Hmm. Um, work at Eby games. Yeah. Comic book guy from the Simpsons and like their favorite thing. It's real perverse. Basically their fetish is just pulling their hair into a ponytail, like 17 times a day. And like, and like always, they always do it mid conversation with someone.
So they're just, they'll start doing it while they're all. Well, you know, you know, it's just, it's horrendous. Um, so I guess what we've noticed here is both of us height, men having long hair on your neck, um, yours, the ponytail and me with them. All right. There's no wind for long neck, long hair, Nick man. Is that what it's called?
I just can't think of any like hugely successful men that have had ponytails. I looked it up. Yeah. And it's Brad Pitt and it's David Beckham. Um, both of whom I think would wear any hair kind of look fine. Both of whom are just like supremely beautiful men. Um, so like you have to be like gorgeous to pull it off as a man.
Um, which yeah. So I'm already like bolding at the front or at least fall so I could theoretically have a ponytail and I would consider myself quite ambitious. So do you think I could submit that stereotype? Is that like the George Washington who was like the albeit Ben Franklin had that like ponytail with, I haven't seen him.
Oh, okay. George Washington, ed wouldn't taste pops it on. That's true. You can look below. On this week's edition of Chinese whispers. No, on this week's edition of dental hygiene from George Washington. I believe you. I believe you. Next week, tune in for top five teeth cuts, different teats tooth tooth. And we're going to do a top two top three TIFs.
Yeah. Kaitlin's. Yeah, that's my number two. The ponytail. Um, I just love, I just love that. Uh, well, first of all, I just love it. I'm biased, but I love the, the, um, contrast between the two genders whenever they style it. I think it's amazing. I think that's a beautiful parallel. I also think kind of, when you talk about like your own bias, it's almost like, um, when, uh, I have a six year old and when we were trying to name her and her mother and what, sorry, child?
Yeah. Like a human child. Yeah. A six year old brains. Well, but sorry. Uh, yeah. So when we were naming her, like trying to think of baby names, like, oh, what about Charlotte? Oh no, I know a Charlotte. Right. And you have these negative of positive connotations towards names of just people, you know, which have no bearing on the names value itself.
Right. Same with the ponytail. Like if you know a cool person. Immediately biased. So if you know someone who's got a good bony towel, that's your girl, boss, boss, lady, whatever it is. I know a good boss out there who is crushing it recently kind of here. So the ponytail isn't as juicy, but yeah, keep it up.
Halle Berry. So what's your number one. Okay. My number one. I wonder if this is your number two shoulder length. No now on the surface, I think that sounds pretty vanilla. Like it's not really too much of a style or a cut, I suppose it's like almost an in-between, but people get it cut to that length all the time.
Here's my argument for it at number one, it's like gentleness. Both men and women can pull it off really well. Like there was no kind of, uh, teething problems with either he has style. Um, there's plenty of women that look great in that. And there's plenty of dudes. So incredibly Vista. My other point is I think everyone actually has this installed at one point in their life, almost every single person, because a woman just by virtue of like growing their hair out, it will happen.
And they'll go through the stage of possibly cutting it short. But even as a child, they would, and I guarantee like 95% of dudes have done it at one point, probably in high school. It's like a classic hero live in year 12. I just realized in year 11 that like. Hair growth. And maybe like you attain what you'll like, wait a second.
It's not, I don't get credits for this year and I've gone past my goody good phase of Vietnam. I'm going to like grow my hair out and stop looking into my probably also at 14, you've just got over like hair grows in funny places. And you're like, yo, how about hair grows under funny places I'm growing this shit out.
That could also be it. You know, bro, I didn't, I didn't even like 16 for me. I was like, For getting credits. Yeah. I had this one math teacher who gave credits for cubes. He, uh, yeah, he didn't last too long. Yeah, no, he had that dead cut as well. Oh, um, hair cut back to the shoulder length here and less about pubes.
Um, I love how it also represents a whole bunch of different subcultures. So you've got like the rock star, you've got the skater surfer. Um, you know, you've got the, the hippie, the mom, the hacky sack enthusiast, it kind of covers a full range of different identities and hobbies and interests is hacky sag enthusiastic enough of a culture, or would that be like a sub sub culture of, you know, that's kind of like saying there's at least one person out.
Beliefs as its own subculture. And I'm happy for that to be its entry into a subculture. Yeah, I know what you mean, but like you're talking about your genres and if I was at a library and if I'm like, yo, I'm looking for specifically Mesopotamian history on ceramic jobs. Oh, I've got a massive section on that.
Say with hacky sack, enthusiasm, like hacky secondaries this, but you'll probably in just the history categories. Mesopotamian jars. It probably has half a shelf. So, so it has the shelf. And I think that shelf lives on the, um, lives with mom and dad once a camper, van surfer, definitely. And possibly, you know, no, no, I wasn't gonna to that.
I was going to say a happy, but I think, and drew already have a conclusion. You're the one with the red twine hair and all the papers and the books and the, you know, you're the one who came prepared. I think you have to have some kind of outside influence to really get into hockey sagging. There has to be some kind of, um, enhancement of your experience.
Can I just leave you with this? And this is why I think it's the number one spot. Truly. Yeah. It's strong. It's a strong number one. It's okay. This haircut can essentially be cut and styled into any other haircut pretty much. Right? So like any medium length hair you ever wanted to do? Any kind of comb over shaved undercut bowl, cut mullet.
It all can actually branch off of length here. So the moment your circle of shoulder length here, you can turn it into virtually anything because the only thing it can't really do is probably like an Afro, which you probably could have never done anyway, or just like longer hair. You can just grow too, if you want.
So it was like clay. Yeah, the divine creator. It's just like this moldable, big hungry. Marble that you carve out. Right? So, I mean, I guess, but is that really a strongest reason? Like if I see some mint in a cement truck, I'm going to like the greatest material known to man, but if I see the crap on the building, I go, wow, that's incredible that they managed to build that because that's the final product.
I don't get excited about the summit. I get excited about the final product. Right. It's getting crazy about that. Flour and bread, Doug, and I'm just enjoying my salad. Right. You know what I mean? I just like your like roll potential. Yeah. And I love being able to pivot out of any possible style. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Like I want to go here. Boom. I'm there. All it takes is sitting in the chair and it's yeah. Wow. GTA styles, you know, going into the barbershop segues beautifully to my number two. Because I thought, okay, well, I obviously don't know how boring is it the way ending on a number two. Yeah. And all cause you want it to be the last isn't that every Saturday for you.
Um, but, uh, uh, well I just said Saturday night, post-sales you don't need a massive pool before you go to bed. Okay. That was my point of ending on a number two, sad that I had to explain that to a beautiful mind. So, um, my. Final point. I obviously can't really go into a barber shop anymore. They're like, you are clearly, um, the guys who are, what's it called when you give someone like the papers you've been served, you know, I'm clearly that person walking into it, barbershop, you have no business being there.
And they're like, you're the tax man. So I thought, well, where can I go to a barbershop simulated? So I booted up grand theft, auto San Andrea. And I went through all the haircuts that were on option. I love that. Yeah. And, um, I know the corners and number two, well, and purely for this reason, purely for this reason, if you get cornrows in grand theft, auto San Andreas with CJ, which are quite expensive, if $500 right off the road, which for a haircut is ridiculous.
Considering getting rooms is like a thousand. So two hiccups is the same as like just redoing your entire car. Um, the F the economy in San Andres was something else. Maybe that's a future episode. Um, it's the highest improvement in six appeal and coolness. And I think it's the only one that improves your muscle composition.
So just having corners makes you stronger. Apparently I also did think, um, nothing screams cultural appropriation, more than a white guy with cornrows. They almost always have like a neck tattoo. They got grills. They call themselves riff-raff they like probably secretly very good at tennis, but they don't want you to know.
Yeah. And that is why I've got corn rows. At two, I actually initially had coolers at one, but I just thought the Afro was too much of a it's just Toko Afro is to genuinely Cobra as the cornrow is too, like. I think it's quite divisive. Really cool. I think, yeah. I think the Afro is effortlessly cool.
Whereas the corn row is the slide karate kid, Jaden Smith. Very cool. Yeah. Vanilla ice. Not so much. Yeah. I guess I'm a little bit annoyed that I didn't have cornrows. I suppose. I feel like I had an iteration of that maybe with the fro, but, um, probably is it the only haircut that is food-based with corn, like rows of corn.
So the owner. Can't really think of any others. Yeah. The bowl cut would be a, uh, like a food storage device. Yeah. I'm afraid. I haven't really like made the link between he has styles and food. Yeah. That was actually in the fine print of my criteria also. That's how I, that's how I actually got you on the show.
It's in your contract. Yeah. I had to mention food based handcarts at some point and then expose me for it. I'm shitting on a Saturday. Yeah. Which we will do. Is it a malicious type of fish? Uh, it is. Oh, there we go. Okay. Paste them all. It's man. I love them. I was thinking about it. You've made that very clear.
Yeah, no, I take it back. It's a food based yet. Got, well, that concludes our very fist top five list. Um, just I'll just run over mine. And then, so I had at number five, shift number four was what, what did you. The tones here actually are number four, five, and four were the same. So that's cool. And number three, I had the fro number two was the ponytail.
And at number one, I had shorter length here. So yeah. Number five, shaved for the dad. Look, three princess lay aside, bonds. Number two. But I sit at last cause I have to be the center of attention was corn rows. And then number one was the Afro. And a lot of crossover, actually a surprising amount of cross.
We did not know what each other's was before. Yeah. Maybe we didn't mention that, but we, we kind of brought this to the table without realizing, and we kind of liked that surprise, uh, and also being able to kind of chat about it, I suppose. But this was, this was incredibly fun and, uh, we we'll see where this goes.
Surely we'll be back for episode two with, um, a fresh list of fresh categories. Uh, if there is any way to contact us, feel free to contact us with what you want to hear, but we'll probably just keep picking our own favorites. Yeah, I think next week's going to be top five podcasts of things that list top five things.
It's quite a few of them is one. You really have that. I have a good feeling. If a guy have a good feeling about number one. Yeah. Burgeoning role potential. You like that. All right, cam. Um, it's been an absolute pleasure and I'll see you next time. Yeah, definitely. I guess we'll just go out to a car together.
Yeah.