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For many years, I mistakenly assumed that because I'd spent the majority of my professional life building companies, conducting sales meetings, and speaking engagements, I was an extrovert. I didn't understand why I needed full recovery days of silence after delivering training courses or a day full of meetings until I realized I was a true introvert trying to pass myself off as an extrovert.
On this episode, I uncover 3 myths that held me back from being my authentic self.
Let's be honest: building a company from nothing is incredibly hard. It has been for me. I started my entrepreneurial journey at age 8. Yep, you read that right....8! Since then, I've started, run and sold multiple businesses with no partners and no funding. All my life I've had to build something from nothing, and that's what I've gotten really great at - tenacious, creative and extremely smart strategy coupled with hard work. Welcome to The Do What Is Necessary podcast—I’m your host, Andrew Moon.
Listen in as I share all the mistakes I’ve made and, more importantly, what I’ve learned from them, with no fluff, and no rose-colored glasses. The Do What Is Necessary Podcast is a show where we cut through the toxic hustle and grind mindset and dig into what it actually takes to start and grow a “calm business”. Calm is family first. Calm is more independence. Calm is sustainable practices for the long term. Calm is joyful. Running a calm company is a choice.
I’ll be giving unfiltered advice every week, 10 minutes per episode each. I want you to walk away from this podcast with the mindset and tools you need to be successful.
This podcast is for entrepreneurs, side hustlers, and busy professionals with a short attention span (like me)—you’ll get quick-hitting, actionable information in every single episode. If you give me your time, I promise it won't be wasted. Now let's get to work!
For many years, I mistakenly assumed
that because I spent the majority of my
professional life building companies.
Which entailed, you know,
conducting sales meetings.
Networking, all those stuff that
goes with building a company.
Having speaking engagements, I mistakenly
thought that I was an extrovert.
I didn't understand why I
needed a full day recovery.
Of silence after delivering a training
course or a full day in meetings.
Until I realized that I was an introvert,
trying to pass myself off as an extrovert.
Today, it's not uncommon for me to plan.
If I'm at a networking event to plan my
leaving so that I don't get an inundated
with other party invitations or too.
Go out for drinks.
To protect my energy.
I've learned to set boundaries and
not apologize for being myself.
Uh, nothing makes me happier than.
Wrapping myself in a blanket on
a cold night reading, writing.
Re watching TV.
With my family.
In fact, I've discovered that the more
time I set aside for self reflection.
The more present and effective I can
be in these people oriented events.
I really wish I had learned that sooner.
Because when we look at it, Our world
is naturally built for extroverts.
If your school experience was
anything like mine, you were told
that you need to be more outgoing.
That sitting alone,
home alone by yourself.
Wasn't cool.
Sitting in the back of
a classroom by yourself.
Wasn't cool.
And those ideals.
Our hold true in the workplace now.
These environments are
built for extroversion.
We sit through daily meetings that
include verbal exchanges of ideas.
We now predominantly
have open office plans.
With the goal of promoting interaction.
The societal norms would
have you believe that?
Being successful means joining
several networking groups and
having a packed social calendar.
Extroverts filled their energy bucket
with, by interacting with people.
They love it.
They, that that's what drives them.
They get their energy from that,
by being in the world, socializing,
going to parties and networking.
They generally enjoy making
small talk in large groups.
So meetings, open offices, those
types of things, all that social
interaction generally fuels them.
Introverts on the other hand, tend to
express their ideas better in writing.
Or in this case, maybe
behind a microphone.
And we enjoy creative activities.
And we enjoy being alone.
After a day filled with interaction
and sensory overload is what I call it.
As an introvert, I need to rebuild
my energy through solitude.
Or with a close friend.
Or my wife.
But growing as a leader.
It means that we need to
accept that introverted power.
And I have to admit that for many
years, I forced myself to act
and act as an extrovert because I
thought that's who I should be in
order to gain social acceptance.
As a leader, a coworker, a friend.
But as an introvert, it,
it drained me of power.
It exhausted me.
Constantly being around others
took away the precious time that I
needed to reflect generate ideas.
Strategize.
And get curious and creative.
Time alone that provides
people like me, introverts.
With the sacred ground that we
need to step into our power.
And show up as our best selves.
And I took a Myers-Brigg assessment.
And that's really where I learned what
type of an introvert I really was.
That I was an I N F J introvert.
But rather than allowing that to
put a label on myself, I figured
out how I can leverage my strengths
to show up in unique ways.
In other words, I realized how
valuable I was as a leader.
Because of my introversion.
But getting to that point, getting
to that epiphany took time.
Because many workplaces promote
extroverted characteristics.
I believe that several myths
that kept me from leading.
As my most confident and
creative self for many years.
And that's what I want
to talk about today.
Let's dispel those myths or misconceptions
that we have about being an introvert.
The first one is the myth that I need
to be an extrovert to be successful.
The truth of the matter is.
We need to be our most
authentic self to be successful.
Instead of tapping into our
unique introverted genius.
Good leaders can end up spending their
time and energy, trying to show up as
an extrovert, thinking that this is
what will make them more successful.
But not all leaders are extroverts.
Introverts make up 50% of the
population and many influential
people were extroverts.
Who uniquely advocated for their ideas.
You think of people like Warren buffet?
Huge introvert.
But he regularly uses his simple
understated approach to advocate
for successful investment
strategies and good decision-making.
And many of my friends who are in the
it space, many of us are introverts.
And it's very difficult for
us to put ourselves out there.
But for me, the mindset shift occurred
when I realized that my level of
extroversion was not correlated.
To my level of confidence
or, or competence.
I stepped into my power when I owned
this simple and liberating truth.
I can be introverted, confident.
And competent.
The second myth.
Is to be seen as credible in meetings or
in sales engagement or public speaking.
That I need to do a lot of talking.
Public speaking, obviously you
need to do all the talking.
But the truth of the matter is credibility
is built through thoughtful contributions
inside and outside of meetings.
So ask yourself this question.
If talking got things done, then
wouldn't it also be true that all
talkers would be great leaders.
No taking that thought.
I stopped showing up at meetings as my
awkward overly, you know, Forced self,
a direct self, which was the result of
speaking, because I thought I had to be,
had to speak in order to be credible.
I had to learn that it was okay.
If I didn't have an immediate answer
to a challenging question or a
topic in a meeting that it was okay.
To go do research.
I learned to step into
my power as a leader.
When I say, Hey, that's a great question.
I'd like to give that some thought.
And come back to you
tomorrow with some ideas.
That, that idea that we don't have
to have all the answers on the spot.
The third myth is to be an.
Influential leader.
I need to be charming and gregarious.
But the truth of the matter
is to create influence.
I need to advocate for my unique ideas.
Over the years I've learned that.
Being an introvert.
Isn't one size fits all that people.
Aren't one size fits all.
That we, we can be unique.
And introverts have subtly moved the
world over time by changing the way
we think writing brilliant novels.
Inventing game-changing technologies.
And so much more.
But it's that belief, that belief
in a cause that really makes.
Being an introvert powerful.
Now the question is, will
the workplace ever catch up?
Will the world of
entrepreneurship ever catch up?
Introverts have a wealth
of tools at their disposal.
To move ideas forward, including.
The ability to create
one-on-one relationships.
Deep connections.
And strategic planning and thinking.
And I think that's what makes a
lot of us, us tech guys and girls.
So powerful.
That we quietly are able to make
waves by generating unique ideas and
encouraging, learning, and testing.
That's what we do.
It wasn't until I fully embraced my
introversion, that I started to discover
how to make my career more meaningful.
My life more meaningful.
And that refueled me.
Introverts have just as
much powers extroverts.
They compliment each other
in, in the way that the world
needs to bring ideas to life.
One's not better than the other.
So stop believing the myths
that are holding you back.
And start pursuing your truth.
That's my message today.
Hopefully.
That can help you.
If you are an introvert, if you are.
Let me know in the comments.
Reach out to me on social.
I love to meet fellow introverts.
Talk to you next time.