I've Seen What Happens When We Run Out of Time

We have more ways to reach each other than ever before. So why are so many of us feeling disconnected?

I've been thinking about that differently because of what I do for a living: people hire me to talk to their dead people.

I sit with people who would give almost anything for one more ordinary conversation with their mom, their partner, their sibling, or their friend. And what they want to know is often incredibly simple.

Does she know I still look at the moon and think of her?

Did he see his grandchild being born?

Would they want me to be happy again?

So in this episode, I'm looking at the growing conversation around loneliness and disconnection, what technology has changed about the way we relate to each other, the difference between having access to someone and actually feeling connected to them, and what years of mediumship have taught me about the things we miss when someone is gone.

We also wander through the Wheel of the Year, Mabon, our increasingly convenient lives, and a question I can't quite shake:

What happens when we don't need one another in the same obvious ways anymore?

Because I've seen what happens when we run out of time.

And maybe the person you've been meaning to call is still here.

What is More Than We See?

More Than We See is a grounded, practical conversation about intuition as a human sense and capacity.

Hosted by Natalie of Immersive Spirit, this podcast blends lived experience, nervous-system–informed insight, and real-world tools to help people better understand how perception, sensitivity, and intuition are experienced—and how to work with them in everyday life across kids, teens, families, and adults.

Episodes explore the many ways intuitive awareness is felt and understood—from curiosity and excitement, to subtle noticing, to moments that challenge what we thought we knew. Along the way, conversations offer practical perspectives, simple tools, and steady ways of relating to intuition so it supports daily life rather than overwhelms it. This is a place to land for people who are curious, overwhelmed, skeptical, sensitive, living intuitively, or simply paying attention in a new way.

No hype. No dramatizing. Just clear conversation, lived insight, and practical ways of working with what we sense—alongside the quiet truth that there is more than we see, and that understanding it can make life feel steadier, clearer, and more alive.

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We’re dedicated to empowering you, helping grow, and authentically connect with your highest self, helping you to Live Your Soul! Find out more at ImmersiveSpirit.com

…Hey there Welcome to more than we see I'm Natalie And we are gonna jump right in. So I've been seeing a lot lately about how disconnected we're becoming. So loneliness is up. People are talking about AI and phones and social media and working from home and how we're technically more connected than we've ever been but somehow we don't actually feel more connected. And normally, I don't know that I would do an episode about loneliness.
There are people far more qualified to talk about this than I am. Except I keep thinking about what I do for a living. So people hire me to talk to their dead people. Which is kind of a wild perspective to have on a loneliness academic, because I sit across from people who would give just about anything one more conversation, or one more dinner, or one more completely ordinary Tuesday. They wanna ask their mom something.
They wanted their dad to know that they finally did that thing they talked about. They want to hear from their husband or their sister or their sibling…
brother or friend. Sometimes they just wanna know they're okay. And meanwhile there are millions of us walking around with people who are still alive. Who we keep meaning to call. And I'm included in that by the way Like I'm not sitting over here with some shining example of human connection.
I ignore texts. I get busy I think I'll call them tomorrow. I spend too much time on my phone. I have people I love who I don't see nearly enough I'm a person, but maybe that's why…This has been bothering me because I know what the other side of I'll call them to tomorrow looks like. Sometimes tomorrow isn't there.
And then you end up paying someone like me to see if you could talk to them…when they're dead, which is objectively a much more complicated way to have a conversation. So…maybe we should talk about this. And apparently, I am not imagining this disconnect…at all. The American psychiatric Association released its annual mental health poll this year, and forty two percent of adults said they're lonely at least some of the weak forty two percent Last year was thirty three percent. And sixteen percent said they're feel lonely every day.
I don't know That stopped me because that's not a few people who don't have anybody. That's a lot of us And here's the part that I thought was really interesting. That same survey asked people about technology and relationship more than half said, technology helps them maintain relationships that they might otherwise lose And I agree with that too. Like I have people in my life I absolutely stay connected to Because of technology. Forty four percent technology makes it easier to express the way they're actually thinking or feeling.
That's also fair but forty percent said it makes the relationships also feel feel less personal. So apparently both things are happening at the same time. Technology is helping us stay in touch. And some of us feel less connected…
I don't think phones are evil I don't think social media destroyed humanity either. I'm talking to you through technology right now. I have relationships that exist across distance because of technology. I think AI is fascinating. I'm not interested in doing the thing where we pretend everything was wonderful before an iPhone.
Are Android Because it simply wasn't. But I do wonder where somewhere along the way we started confusing with access…with connection…because I have access to most everybody I know Like, right now, I could probably reach most of them within thirty seconds. That doesn't mean I know what's happening with them. And they may not know what's happening with me Certainly they probably don't. Think about how weird that is.
You know that…somebody went to Mexico maybe. Or you know what they ate for breakfast or maybe you know that their kid made the soccer team or got their pilot's license You know that they got a new count that they moved or that they went to a concert Saturday night in the rain and…you know that they got their haircut, whatever you know, or you know, They posted a a cute quote about protecting their piece. You know all kinds of things about them and you have absolutely no idea whether they're actually okay. We have these little windows into each other's lives all day long. And sometimes I wonder whether that tricks us into feeling like we've maintained the relationship.
I think I saw her poster I liked this picture, I sent a cute little heart emoji. I watched the story in support of them. So somewhere in my brain maybe that checks that off the list Yep I'm still connected. But are we like, really? And I don't know I mean I genuinely…
do not know…that answer because I do those things too. And sometimes that is connection. Sometimes somebody sends me something ridiculous and it makes my entire day because they knew exact why I would think that was funny. I think that's connection. Sometimes somebody I haven't spoken to in months responds to something and then suddenly we're talking for an hour.
Technology didn't prevent that connection it actually created the opening for us to regain a connection. So I'm not trying to make this all neat. I just think that something has changed and apparently a lot of us can feel it. So the American psychological association actually called latest big report a stress of America is a crisis in connection. More than half of the adults they surveyed said that they had isolated…from other people for at least some time Have said they felt left out?
Half said they lacked companionship. Those are huge numbers folks. And I keep coming back to the same thought. What are we missing? Because I think connection is strange.
Like you can be surrounded by people…
and feel completely alone. And you can just sit beside one person without saying anything and feel completely seen and known. You can talk to someone every day and never actually tell them anything. You can have a friend you haven't seen in two years And within thirty seconds of seeing them be right back in the groove. You can be related to someone and feel like you have nothing in common with them.
You could meet somebody and there is an immediate…
There you are. And I know that last one's moving us into a terribly you know, different things that people do Because I don't think connection is entirely explained by how often two people communicate. I can't I've seen too much that doesn't fit there Like I'm a medium. My entire work exists in this bizarre space where someone is physically gone, and yet the person sitting across from me is still in a relationship with them. And I don't mean that metaphorically at all.
Like I believe consciousness continues. I believe that we do remain connect did. You don't have to believe that though to stay in this conversation with me. Because even if you think mediumship is complete nonsense, Grief itself tells us really something interesting about connection. Someone can be gone and still be incredibly present in your life Like you can hear their voice in your head, or you know what they would have said about something You make something the way they made it with their recipe.
You tell a story that you've told a hundred times. You use their stupid phrasing about it. You pick up your phone for half a second before remembering that you actually can't call them. They still affect the decision you make. They still piss you off sometimes.
It still make you laugh. The relationship changes. It just doesn't vanish. From where I sit sometimes it continues in ways that are much stranger…
Than a memory because, like…
I have seen a lot of things and I see this in readings all of the time. People will come to me and say they want to connect with their mom or their husband or their sibling or what whomever they've lost. And sure they want evidence They want to know that it's really them. But once we get past that, what they actually want to know is usually so incredible ordinary. Like does my mom know that I still look at the moon and think about her Did my dad see the baby Does he know his grandchild was born?
Does my husband know that I'm okay? Or does she know that I kept that thing that she gave me? And sometimes and this one kinda gets me they just need to know whether the person they lost…would be okay with them being happy again. That's the thing that people ask me. Not usually some giant question about the universe or what happens after we die.
They wanna know if the relationship is still there If the person they love still knows them. If they saw the thing they desperately wish they've been there to see. And if they're still part of their life somehow and I think That's probably why this whole conversation about disconnection…
has been really getting under my skin because I sleep with people I've somebody is gone And I watch them reach for all of these tiny points of connection that probably didn't feel particularly important when that person was alive. Looking at the moon a new baby a family thing being a happy again…
Just do you still know me? Are you still with me? Do I still matter to you? And from where I sit, I believe the answer is yes. I believe those relationships continue, but I also said there are some sometimes thinking, god we want this so badly once one is gone.
What would happen if we were a little more willing to want each other this much while we're still here. That's the part of mediumship. I don't think people always understand. There are certainly people who come because they want evidence. They wanna know whether this is real whether I'm real whether I can really do this and that's fair, but there are also people who aren't trying to solve the mysteries of the universe.
They missed their mom. That's it. They missed their person. They want one more minute. And I can't give them that in the way they really want it.
Even if I have a beautiful connection even if something comes through that is so incredibly specific Even if they leave feeling completely certain, that the person they love is okay. I can't give them their Tuesday back. I can't give them their dinner. I can't give a phone call that they didn't make. I can't give them the last Christmas, when everybody was still here.
And maybe that's the thing I wish more people understood Good about this work. Mediumhip…
doesn't make death less real. At least it doesn't for me It has probably made me more aware…of how real time is because I've seen what happens…when it does run out. And I don't wanna be dramatic about that Like that's not at all what I'm trying to do I'm not gonna tell you call every person you love tonight because anything could happen like Jesus. Nobody needs that kind of anxiety in this world. And sometimes…people are not in our lives for a reason and I don't want you change that either.
That doesn't magically turn every relationship into a good one. Some people have boundaries that need to stay exactly where they are. Some relationships…end because some should. I'm not suggesting you call your toxic X because Natalie said everyone might die yeah we're all gonna die but please don't do I'm talking about the people you actually want. The person that you keep thinking…Oh yeah I need to call her Or, gosh we should have dinner or I wonder how he is doing.
I wanna reach out and say your artwork is beautiful. I haven't seen them in forever That relationship, you actually care about…
but somehow they've moved to when the thing calms down category. Because when is that exactly? I keep waiting for things to calm down. But apparently this is just life now We're busy We're moving. There's something else I found while I was looking…at all of this that I loved A large Pew study suggests Americans…
are all about spiritual experiences. Like seventy two percent of us experience a deep sense of connection with humanity at least several times a year Eighty percent said they experienced a deep sense of wonder about the universe. And sixty one percent said they experienced a presence of something from beyond this world at least several times a year. Doesn't mean sixty one percent of Americans believe that they're talking to dead people like I do That's not what the survey asked. But I think it's interesting.
Because alongside…all of this conversation about loneliness and isolation…
We're also apparently having these moments where we feel profoundly connected…to humanity, to the universe, to something beyond ourselves. So maybe the capacity isn't gone Maybe we're just really hungry for it. Maybe we know what connection feels like when it happens. And maybe that's why the absence of it feels so horribly bad. I think about this with the wheel of the year too and I'm I'm not gonna give you like whole Mavon lesson Mavon just passed and I'm sure you've seen stuff about it.
We're moving into the darker part of the year But historically, this is the time of year…
That's not just normally about cute pumpkins in letters and whatever pumpkin spice thing that we've managed to invent now. But this is historically when people were gathering and harvesting and sharing food and preparing for the darker months. You needed people. You needed to know who was around you. You needed community because winter wasn't theoretical.
And I am absolutely not romanticizing that either Like I enjoy central heating a great deal I have no desire to churn butter with my neighbors, but I do wonder what happens to human beings when we don't need one another in the same obvious ways. I can order groceries and have them left at my door. I can work from my house. I can entertain myself in-depth definitely. I can ask a machine a question instead of calling someone who I know knows the answer.
I can go through an astonishing amount of my life without having to interact deeply with another person. That's all incredibly convenient. I love some of it. But convenience and connection aren't necessarily the same thing Right? Maybe sometimes connection is inconvenient.
It takes time. It interrupts your day. Somebody calls when you're doing something. You have to choose it. Maybe dinner takes three hours or your friend tells you the same story again, or your mom asks the question that she's already asked you a hundred times So your kid wants to show you something when you're trying to finish an email, people are inconvenient.
And maybe that's part of the problem. We have optimized so much of our life around removing friction…
People are friction. Relationships are friction. Love is definitely friction. And sometimes…I don't want that friction either Sometimes somebody calls and I look at my phone and think I love you but this is not absolutely no I'm answering. So I'm not even sure the answer is connect more Maybe it's just noticing when it can emions has quietly become the default of your life.
You have to stop what you're doing You have to listen You have to notice. You have to show up when you'd rather stay home. You have to remember the things that don't matter to you but matter to them. You have to occasionally sift through a story you've already heard…
You have to let somebody be annoying and for real. And they have to let you be annoying too. That's a relationship. And maybe that's the part that I've learned from dead people…
Excuse me, which is You know what That's really a sentence that I really never probably expected I would have said when I was younger…
The things that people miss aren't usually the giant moments. They're the ordinary ones the boys the laugh the chair that they sat in, something they made the phone call the annoying habit, The thing that I always said the completely unremarkable pieces of being alive together. That's what becomes sacred afterward. And that's the part that gets me because while it's happening, It's Tuesday. It's just a Tuesday.
And you're tired…and they're irritating and you have things to do. And you don't know yet that someday you would give anything for one more completely ordinary Tuesday with them. Also don't think the answer is to suddenly become hyper present and spiritually in tightened with everybody you love. That is exhausting. Sounds exhausting.
You're still gonna ignore a text I'm still gonna ignore a text. We're gonna get busy. We're gonna cancel dinner plans. We're gonna cancel lunches with friends We're gonna spend too much time looking at stupid things on our phones. We aren't human.
I don't think the goal is to eliminate all regret either. If you've lost somebody you can probably find something you wish you would have done differently. I certainly can We all can. That's love after somebody dies. Your brain can always find one more thing.
This isn't about doing relationships perfectly enough that somebody…
Nobody regrets something someday because that's impossible. Maybe it's just about noticing the difference between…I don't have time for this person, and I'm acting like there will always be more time with this person. Those are not the same things. And I think I do the second one probably more than I'd like to admit. And the funny thing is, like when you look at what the surgeon general actually recommends social connection, it's almost ridiculously basic.
Like spend time with people Pay attention when you're with them Show up for them That's it, which is not particularly revolutionary advice. And maybe that's what's so strange. We don't seem to have an information problem here Nobody needs me to tell them that relationships matter you already know that. I already know that. We have an attention problem…
Everything wants it Our jobs want it Our phones want it. The news wants our attention, social media surely wants our attention our houses want it. Our goals want it. Our side projects wanted. Our anxiety…definitely wants it.
And the people we love sometimes get what's ever left over until one of them is gone. Then suddenly we would give anything to give them all of it. And that's the part I can't stop thinking about. So connect with them now while they're alive So you don't have to pay someone like me to talk to them when they're dead. I'm kidding like mostly.
But maybe there is somebody who came into your head while we've been talking. Not because I'm telling you that they might die. Please do not turn this into that Like this is not not that. Maybe they came into your head because you missed them. And there's still here.
That's actually a pretty incredible situation to be in. You can do something about that. Maybe it's as simple as a text. Maybe it's a dinner. Maybe it's sending them the ridiculous thing that you know that they would laugh at.
Maybe it's saying Hey, I realized I haven't actually asked how you are at least not in the wild So tell me how are you? And then listen to them answer…
Or maybe there's nobody specific. Maybe you've just been feeling a little disconnected too. Apparently you're in pretty good company with all the percentages. I don't know exactly what's happening to us I don't know how much is based on technology. How much is the pace that we're living at?
How much is the way our communities have changed? How much of it is just specifically us? Probably all of it, but I do know that connection matters. I knew that before I came a medium though I just understand it differently now. Because I have watched people sit across for me.
Hoping desperately that love can still find a way through after death. And I believe it can I really do. But if the person you love is still here…
you don't need a medium right now. You can just call them…
I'll see you in two weeks And the next time I am doing some research on a house that I found, And folks, there was something wrong with that house. I'll see you next time on more than we see
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