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Bare It All with Linnsey is where nothing is off limits. From thriving in recovery to building businesses, raising kids while chasing dreams, diving deep into mental health, and making a real difference in the world — we talk about it all. This podcast is raw, real, and completely unfiltered. Whether you’re healing, hustling, or just trying to make it through the day, you’re in the right place. We’re here to inspire, empower, and remind you that you can rise from anything.
I was set on fire by my the man I was married to, and I can remember this run, and he's behind me, squirting lighter fluid.
Linnsey Dolson:He's chasing you, squirting lighter fluid, so it is making the fire worse and worse.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I just said, oh god, is this really how I'm supposed to die, you know? I'm 45 years old, burning lime on my driveway. The tip of my nose has been burned off. My upper lip has been burned off. The extensions are burned completely off, and there's nothing left but the tracks that are melted to my head.
Tonya Meisenbach:I think they saved my life, actually. Oh my god. I woke up from a two month coma. I couldn't remember everything. I could remember what he was telling me.
Tonya Meisenbach:This is where, like, for me, the horror kind of began because I still didn't accept, like, how could he have set me on fire? He couldn't have done that. We've been the nearly fifteen years.
Linnsey Dolson:It's a horror movie where they're stuck in the room with their killer. Right. And nobody knows that they're the killer. Welcome to Bare It All With Lindsay, you guys. I'm so excited for my guest today, Tanya.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. So I stalked her social media, and this woman is incredible. Mhmm. I am so inspired. I was like, I have to meet her, and I have to have her on my podcast.
Linnsey Dolson:Like, just watching you, like, I'm so inspired, and your story is so incredible. And I was like, I have to hear it. So welcome. Thank you so much for coming.
Tonya Meisenbach:Thank you, Lindsay. I'm so happy to be here.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh my goodness. Tell us a little bit about yourself, Tanya.
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, I am here. I'm new to LA. I've been here about a year. Oh, okay. From where?
Tonya Meisenbach:From Atlanta. I lived in Atlanta for thirty years.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, wow.
Tonya Meisenbach:I relocated with an organization called Face Forward International, and they do reconstructive surgery. Oh. Plastic surgery
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:For survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking and violent crime.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, that's incredible.
Tonya Meisenbach:And they contacted me through my social media. And I was in a position where I needed to leave Atlanta
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:Because I was set on fire by my the the man I was married to
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:Seven years ago.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I was he's not in jail. He was never questioned.
Linnsey Dolson:He's still not in jail? Mm-mm. Oh, hell no.
Tonya Meisenbach:He's not in jail. He was never questioned. It took me years to remember. And when I say remember, I kinda kinda go into it with narcissistic abuse. And it's called cognitive dissonance.
Tonya Meisenbach:And and the way you start to rationalize things and believe them. Because, you know, I woke up from a two month coma and I was like, I couldn't remember everything. I could remember what he was telling me.
Linnsey Dolson:I can only fucking imagine.
Tonya Meisenbach:You're on every drug imaginable and it's very groggy. I I was having it's called ICU psychosis. So you're seeing things. You're hallucinating. And you're trying to come out of the fentanyl and the succicholine.
Tonya Meisenbach:These are paralytics.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. You are And your body
Tonya Meisenbach:is just shock. You're on a ventilator. Right? You are not there. And so it took years to accept that he did it on purpose.
Tonya Meisenbach:But when the memories came back, they came back with a, you know, with a vengeance from telling my story. Right. And I kept telling my story live every day on TikTok, and the words didn't match my memories after a while. And I was in
Linnsey Dolson:So you were telling it the way it was told to you?
Tonya Meisenbach:Yes. The way it was told.
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:And then, you know, I was in therapy and I finally got up the nerve to say to my therapist, like, well, this is possible. You know, I'm seeing I think you did on purpose. I'm seeing this. And she was more than eager to say, yeah, that's more than possible because I think she already knew. A lot of people already knew, which is just so crazy when you think about it.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? But the police didn't know. They never they literally never questioned him beyond the few minutes that they were at the house too.
Linnsey Dolson:Are you able to so can are you able to take us back a little bit to, like
Tonya Meisenbach:Let's get back.
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. Let's get back. Whole picture. So, like,
Tonya Meisenbach:maybe crazy.
Linnsey Dolson:Even yeah. No. I wanna hear as much as you're willing to share.
Tonya Meisenbach:I share I share my story, you know, openly
Linnsey Dolson:Me too. That's how, like, you help others from it. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:That's why
Linnsey Dolson:I do. Like it helps us too.
Tonya Meisenbach:It helped me heal.
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. Oh my gosh. Even It's so healing.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. Even when I was telling the version of it in which, you know, he's the hero, it still helped me heal because I needed to deal.
Linnsey Dolson:At that time, it worked for you.
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, yeah. And I needed to deal with just the, you know, the visible difference that I was dealing with. So it helped me heal that and become you know, and be burned beauty, you know, where it it helped me heal that. But, you know, it was December 2018.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:And we've been married for fifteen years at the time.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. And did you guys have children?
Tonya Meisenbach:No. Thank goodness. I have kids, but they were from my first yeah. Thank goodness. From my first husband.
Tonya Meisenbach:I wanted to, but, you know, I feel like the good Lord thought of that. I had to I needed to have a hysterectomy. I'm so grateful now. Right? I'm so grateful now because that would be horrible.
Tonya Meisenbach:But, you know, he had never been physically abusive, which a lot of people get into. They're like, we have set on fire. He must no. It was narcissistic abuse. And that's why I talk so much about it because it is that dangerous when someone is emotionally abusing you.
Linnsey Dolson:And it's harder for people to see.
Tonya Meisenbach:People don't know. They think he's a great guy because he's he's only horrible to you. He's overly kind to other people, and people won't believe you a lot of the times too.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:They and and they'll see you act out and get angry, and they think, oh, look. She's the problem.
Linnsey Dolson:That's what narcissists do.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? They think, oh, she's the problem. Right. So throughout the years, I decided that, you know, my the problem was that I would overreact to all the bad things he do. I mean, he would disappear, like, at least once a week.
Tonya Meisenbach:Just overnight, turn off the phone, gone. And it would I would just go into this tailspin. And I thought it was because he was an alcoholic. Now we're gonna come back to that because he was actually way more. It was way more than alcohol, but I didn't know.
Tonya Meisenbach:Sure. I didn't know he was doing, like, illicit drugs. But also, of course, he's having affairs. They always are. But I didn't ever think so.
Tonya Meisenbach:So, yeah, it would just trigger me and then he disappears. I get, you know, just get super mad about it. And then he and then the conversation becomes about how I got too mad. How I
Linnsey Dolson:It's your fault.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. Got too mad. Yeah. Why are you
Linnsey Dolson:so angry? Reacting. Get over it. Oh, hell no.
Tonya Meisenbach:Get over it. Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:Put that down.
Tonya Meisenbach:It's in the past. It's like an hour ago. You know? Oh, I'm not bad. Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, the past is like, you know, it's not that big a deal. I just why cannot spend time with my
Linnsey Dolson:that big a deal.
Tonya Meisenbach:I just wanna go out with my friends. What's the I mean, in the these these people will talk like a three year old or a four year old. If you really look at it, know, you it's like, wanna be with my friends. The way the temper tantrums. Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:They are emotionally unstable. What I want you to know. 100%. These true temper tantrums. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:Yep. He would he would pout. I thought he was kidding until, like now I understand he wasn't kidding. He would be mad and do the silent treatment and actually have his lips stuck out. And I'd be like, I would make a joke and walk away.
Tonya Meisenbach:I didn't get it. I didn't understand how dangerous this all was. But I had really started to get tired of him and tired of it by that time. And my kids had moved out in November 2018. We went to renew our vows in November 2018 to the French Alps.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:Renew our vows. Right? Like our ten year wedding anniversary. We've been together fifteen. We do that.
Tonya Meisenbach:And the last night we were there, and we were in Geneva, Switzerland. And you know what he did? He fucking disappeared. I was on the streets of Geneva, Switzerland. I've never been colder in my life.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'm standing there and he we get in an argument because it's time we need to go back to the hotel. We're leaving the next morning. And he's drunk. He's been doing shots. He doesn't want to do that.
Tonya Meisenbach:And we had been in a restaurant and the owner had mentioned, hey, you know, if there's a party, you can go over here. I think it was a rave. I don't know because I didn't see any, like, club. It wasn't something I was going to. And but he just got mad and walked off.
Tonya Meisenbach:And
Linnsey Dolson:Left you on the street?
Tonya Meisenbach:Of Geneva, Switzerland.
Linnsey Dolson:Hell no.
Tonya Meisenbach:Was For
Linnsey Dolson:how what did you do?
Tonya Meisenbach:I walked back to the hotel, and I stood outside and waited for him because it was an old hotel, really old. And you had to have the key to get up the elevator.
Linnsey Dolson:Have the key.
Tonya Meisenbach:I no. I didn't want him to come back and not be able to get up the elevator. I had the key.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, yeah. I'm Those are, like, codependent behavior. Right? Yeah. For sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? I'm like, okay.
Linnsey Dolson:Well And it happens.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I'm thinking he's not gonna be gone long. He's gonna turn right around and come back. Right. But he doesn't. I stood there for probably a couple of hours, you know?
Tonya Meisenbach:And he didn't come back until 4AM in Geneva.
Linnsey Dolson:Just drunk as hell? Even drunker?
Tonya Meisenbach:He lost his glasses, his suit jacket because we had gone out to a nice dinner. He had he has no idea what's going on. He was he was still drunk just trying to get home on the plane. I had a problem getting him out of the hotel and on the plane to get home.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, wow.
Tonya Meisenbach:I was furious. And I was not forgiving it. The kids moved out. I was a realtor. I I you know, I'd been working for the family business for a few years Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:Which is a tree company in Atlanta, helping build that. But then I thought, you know, I kinda want my money back, you know, that I'd always had. So I got my real estate license and Good for you. Yeah. And I'd done that a year before.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I had my sign in yards, you know. It was, like, happening.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I'd been in real I'd been in real estate paralegal anyway Okay.
Linnsey Dolson:So you
Tonya Meisenbach:knew the industry. I knew the industry Yeah. So I think it's important to know all of those things because what was happening was he was having a temper tantrum that I wasn't forgiving him quickly enough. Okay. And this had been going on for a month.
Linnsey Dolson:Well, and you're taking your independence back.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. He sees the independence. The kids moved out. They're not in the house anymore. There's nobody to see what happens.
Tonya Meisenbach:And probably in his mind, there's nothing to keep me there anymore. Because, you know, I worked very hard to make sure that my kids were taken care of and I wasn't A
Linnsey Dolson:100%. So he felt like he was losing control, probably.
Tonya Meisenbach:He was losing control. In retrospect, that's what was happening.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:And two nights before I was set on fire, he didn't come home. But that was because I can't looking back at the text that I still have, don't delete your text. Okay. Whoever you are, don't delete your
Linnsey Dolson:text. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:You you have plenty of room on your iCloud. Just keep them because I promise you, looking back he deleted them off my phone. But when I got a new phone and they loaded back in
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, they went back on.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I can see what was happening. I was like, just don't come home. Just I'm done. I don't care. Didn't matter.
Tonya Meisenbach:The kids weren't gonna be there to see it. I don't care.
Linnsey Dolson:And you had never told him don't come home before?
Tonya Meisenbach:I think I'd told him, but I'd never meant it before. I think I was kinda 10 toes down on it.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. And he but he knew you meant it that time.
Tonya Meisenbach:I think he yeah. He really felt it. And I don't even know if I meant it because I was so you know, the codependency, the the the
Linnsey Dolson:You wanna demean it. You want to,
Tonya Meisenbach:but do I?
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know.
Tonya Meisenbach:A 100%.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:You mean it in that moment, but are you gonna hold on? Are you gonna uphold it?
Linnsey Dolson:Right. Exactly.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know? So I'd I'd I even doubt that myself because it was just such it it felt so hopeless looking back at my life.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:Then, you know, I don't know how I was living because that emotional abuse is heavy on your heart. It's changing you. You don't feel like getting up and getting dressed in the morning. You don't care too
Linnsey Dolson:much. Toxic?
Tonya Meisenbach:It's so toxic. You become toxic with them.
Linnsey Dolson:100%.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, you're supporting them. I mean, not that you're doing bad things, but you're continuously making excuses for them.
Linnsey Dolson:No. 100%. Yeah. Continuously. Yep.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, I guess he felt whatever kind of way because I'm looking and on the December 16, he's not at home. December 17, late at night, he says, I'm not spending another night without you. I'm on my way home. You see that message. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:Okay. Actually, I think it it might be an email even because I I think I blocked him Oh. On the phone.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, shit. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? I mean, I don't
Linnsey Dolson:So he's feeling some kinda way about all
Tonya Meisenbach:of this? He's feeling some kinda way.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:So that night, I guess he came home on the seventeenth, whatever happened, gets up, leaves the next morning, and I was still at it. You can look at my text. I'm still unhappy. And I remember it now. You know, I was I was just livid.
Tonya Meisenbach:Like, how dare you? Why are you gonna leave me? We just renewed our vows. Right. And he's literally saying to me, we just renewed our vows.
Tonya Meisenbach:I thought things were going to be different.
Linnsey Dolson:Like it's your fault. You disappeared. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:You thought things were going to be different. Right?
Linnsey Dolson:Manipulation. Absolute control.
Tonya Meisenbach:And, you know, if you're in it, you have to understand how how bad this is. How how how how bad your life is at this at this point. So yeah. So he came home on the eighteenth. The last kinda snarky text I sent him was at 05:43PM.
Tonya Meisenbach:On the eighteenth? On the eighteenth. 08:09PM is the 911 call.
Linnsey Dolson:So what did you say on that last morning text?
Tonya Meisenbach:The the last text was about some guy that had called him that I thought it was about drugs. Because Okay. There I am being a mother. I don't do drugs. I I've never I've I I I've never done them because I was afraid of them growing up because of I saw my my mother.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I just never I was kinda out in the country. I just never did it.
Linnsey Dolson:Good.
Tonya Meisenbach:But for right? But, I mean, I have a lot of friends that that have, but I've never even experimented. I I'm the person that, like, smokes pot and I get paranoid and freak out. Right? Yes, I can't do it.
Tonya Meisenbach:I've tried to, edible. No. I can't do it. Right? I could definitely drink, though.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'll tell you that. I used to drink, like, when I was with them. Pearl, a bottle of wine. I was drinking so much back then. And now I have hard drink.
Linnsey Dolson:Well, probably to escape too.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I didn't do drugs, but I was drinking a lot. A lot a lot of Pinot Grigio went by.
Tonya Meisenbach:But it you know, I thought it was about drugs and I was like, what? You know, what what is going on? And then he got home and I can remember him saying, let's just talk about it outside. And I and, you know
Linnsey Dolson:Why outside? Why not in your own
Tonya Meisenbach:home? Because that's where the fire pit was. We both smoked. We were both smokers and drink and smoke outside.
Linnsey Dolson:Do you feel like he lured
Tonya Meisenbach:a fire pit? No. We would sit there often.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, okay. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:He was he had a fascination with fire. Oh. We'll get to that.
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. I'm like,
Tonya Meisenbach:no, That's interesting because I bought the fire
Linnsey Dolson:I'm like literally on the edge of my seat just like
Tonya Meisenbach:It's like crazy the way this has all come together in my mind. He had a fascination with fire. He loved it so much that I bought the fire pit a year before for Christmas. And it was called like a cowboy fire pit. So you could like grill on it, rotisserie.
Tonya Meisenbach:It was just like here, that's you like doing that, so and you like grilling, so
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:Here's this thing. And I don't know what we I don't I don't remember the conversation after that, but apparently, it wasn't going that well, you know? And, you know, was drinking wine and got to the, you know, the 911 calls at 08:09. So around eight, I'm like, well, I'm just gonna make dinner and you could cook on the fire pit. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:So I had these steaks and, you know, I'm just gonna eat and I'm done. So he, you know, puts the grill on the fire pit so that you can cook on it. And I came out with the steaks and as I reached out, the stream of lighter fluid. Right?
Linnsey Dolson:And Wait. When you reached out, what?
Tonya Meisenbach:I was reaching out to put the steak on the grill. Okay. Right? And now there's a stream now I'm in a stream of lighter fluid. And
Linnsey Dolson:now Like it's doused on you?
Tonya Meisenbach:Yes. But the way I in my mind, he was just trying to feed the fire in the beginning. Right? Because he would, like, squirt the flames. You had to, like, put the grill on and you had to pile up the embers to grill.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know how they I don't grill, but how they do.
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:But I had seen him many times before, you know, squirting the lighter fluid on the I don't think you're supposed to do that, so don't anybody do that. Don't think you're supposed to squirt lighter fluid at the fire or gasoline or anything. But he would always do that. And so that's important because I remember that part. And the way I reasoned through it afterwards was, oh, I reached out and I got into the stream of lighter fluid.
Tonya Meisenbach:Again, it's my fault. Not I reached out and he squirted lighter fluid. No. It it was more like, oh, he was he must have been already squirting it. And I got into the into the flames.
Tonya Meisenbach:So either way, I'm on fire.
Linnsey Dolson:So the lighter fluid hit you and it just set you head to toe?
Tonya Meisenbach:He well, yeah. Not hit no. Not head to toe. I ran. It got you know, it's it's not my arm.
Tonya Meisenbach:You can see you can only see. Like, if you look, you can see where it starts like my hand.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. You can see. Right? So it's like from here up. Well, it starts here and then I'm running.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? And, you know, because we're on the back and I can remember this run now, and he's behind me squirting lighter fluid.
Linnsey Dolson:On you?
Tonya Meisenbach:I had long extensions in.
Linnsey Dolson:Fucking shit.
Tonya Meisenbach:Long extensions that I'd never had, like, a sew in except maybe a couple of times in, you know, that year. And but I remember it was super long. Like, you know,
Linnsey Dolson:like, a bit on your way. Sewn in so you can't rip them out.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. They're sewn in, and he's squirting the lighter fluid. They actually He's chasing you
Linnsey Dolson:squirting lighter fluid. So it is making the fire worse and worse.
Tonya Meisenbach:And then when I got to the corner of
Linnsey Dolson:the house
Tonya Meisenbach:when I got to the corner of the house, because we're in, like, a pretty large house. So it was a good distance that I ran from, you know, patio on one side of the house to the to the driveway on the other side. And as I started to turn the corner, I looked back at him and I just remember saying no. And I remember looking at him like, no. And him lighting this Zippo that we had just bought in Switzerland.
Tonya Meisenbach:It was you know, it's a lighter, you know, the lighter Right.
Linnsey Dolson:I do remember the zippos. Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:It had the it was red and white. It had the Swiss flag on it. We had just bought it in Geneva, and he lit it and threw it at me. And now, I'm now I'm really engulfed.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh my god.
Tonya Meisenbach:And so at that point, no more running. I I dropped just dropped to my knees and because you're supposed to stop drop and roll. Right? So I do. But you can't put yourself out if you have accelerant on you.
Tonya Meisenbach:Not likely. I mean, maybe because there's always, I call it the god factor. But you're not really likely to roll stop drop and roll yourself out with doused and accelerant like that. Right. You need water and there is no water.
Tonya Meisenbach:I was rolling and just it occurred to me, you know, I'm not going out and I stopped and I just you know, you remember that moment and you think, okay, this is how I died. I'm gonna die, you know? And I just started to pray. All I need to do is say the Lord's prayer. And I started to say it, and and I can remember, you know, I'm laying on my stomach and you can smell you can smell that that hair burning, that human hair, the the extensions.
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:You're I can smell the hair burning. And oh, such a bad smell. Right? It's just so bad. And I got halfway through and I just said, you know, like, oh, god, is this really how I'm supposed to die?
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, I'm 45 years old and I'm laying on my driveway burning alive.
Linnsey Dolson:Ahead of you.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. I'm burning alive on my driveway.
Linnsey Dolson:So you're out front at this time?
Tonya Meisenbach:I was on the side. I made it from the back to
Linnsey Dolson:To the side of the side. Right. And where was she at this point?
Tonya Meisenbach:He was there.
Linnsey Dolson:Just standing
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't know where he I couldn't see him. But when I said, you know, is this how I'm supposed to die? He said, I've got you, baby. I've got you. He said that.
Tonya Meisenbach:The husband. Now that's but I don't I have faith. I don't believe that's him speaking.
Linnsey Dolson:I got you, baby.
Tonya Meisenbach:But that's but that's that's God. That's that's the God factor because there was nobody else there who could've put me out. There was no other Wait.
Linnsey Dolson:Did the fire go out?
Tonya Meisenbach:He no. He had to smother it with his jacket. He put it out. This is part of how he was able to tell kinda twist the tail, like, well, I
Linnsey Dolson:blew Oh, it so he's the hero. Tried to be the hero now.
Tonya Meisenbach:He stayed the hero. But he put it out, but I don't I just think he didn't have an option because I made it to the side yard and maybe the neighbors would see.
Linnsey Dolson:You would have been running out front.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. Maybe the neighbors would see. I was a fireball. There's I was screaming. Know at one point I was screaming.
Tonya Meisenbach:He had to calculate, like, okay, did the neighbors see? You know, what what would they do? I can't you know, it takes ten to fifteen minutes to burn to death even with accelerant. So it's not fast. It would have been Just It would be hard to watch even if you're bad guy.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right.
Linnsey Dolson:The pain. Do you feel like your body was in such shock that you didn't feel the pain at the time, or did you feel the pain at the time?
Tonya Meisenbach:It the the pain is intense at first, but it burns off your nerve endings, so it stops. Okay. And and the the nerve endings burn off, the adrenaline rises.
Linnsey Dolson:And That's what I would imagine it like. That's what I would imagine because your body just it's, you know
Tonya Meisenbach:Your your body has to save you. Our bodies I mean, we're That's our natural We're
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. That's our, like, natural way of, like, protecting ourselves.
Tonya Meisenbach:Survival.
Linnsey Dolson:100%. So did he call 911 or did a neighbor?
Tonya Meisenbach:He called 911 because I I told him. I remember saying, call 911. He was standing I can still picture him standing, like, with his back to the side of the house after he put me out and just looking like kinda like an oh shit moment. Like, what have I done? He's and now he's probably not worried about me.
Tonya Meisenbach:He's probably thinking, oh shit, I'm going to jail. Right? Yeah. He's probably thinking that's gonna be it.
Linnsey Dolson:He sounds like that's all he's ever worried about was his self. Always.
Tonya Meisenbach:So right. That's what narcissists do. They're only
Linnsey Dolson:100%.
Tonya Meisenbach:Matter what they tell you, they're only worried about themselves. Of course.
Linnsey Dolson:Of course. But,
Tonya Meisenbach:you know, I I just needed to stay alive, I think, in that moment. And he dialed 911. And I remember talking to the paramedics, and and I was telling them, tell my tell my kid tell Rochelle I love him. Tell my kids I love him. Tell, you know, Travis.
Tonya Meisenbach:He's like my brother. Tell these people that I love them.
Linnsey Dolson:That's so wild that you were coherent enough to, like, talk to them after
Tonya Meisenbach:It was important. I thought it was gonna be the last thing that I was saying and my kids weren't there, you know. It's just like I it was important and I knew. I can remember the look on one of the I think he was a fireman's face. And now I understand what I must have looked like standing there.
Tonya Meisenbach:I had run-in the house and looked in the mirror because I was horrified. I knew it was my face.
Linnsey Dolson:Well, you could still walk.
Tonya Meisenbach:I jumped up off the ground and ran back into the house. And then I walked I walked to the ambulance. We lived on a really steep hill. Oh, shit. Adrenaline.
Linnsey Dolson:100%.
Tonya Meisenbach:Because as soon as I laid down in the ambulance, the pain came. That was it. You know? It's like as soon as I felt safe with that paramedic.
Linnsey Dolson:Sure. And all the adrenaline went I have goosebumps. I'm
Tonya Meisenbach:As soon yeah. As soon as I sat down with him, it was just like, you know, now, oh, okay. This hurts. I'm not okay.
Linnsey Dolson:When I burn my finger on the That
Tonya Meisenbach:freaking hurts.
Linnsey Dolson:Stop. It hurts. I know. I can't even can't imagine. I cannot imagine.
Linnsey Dolson:So your whole body felt like that.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. Except, you know, I had third you know, when I stood up, I had third and fourth degree burns to the upper thirty five percent of my body and that's my entire face and obviously my arms and upper back. And, you know, there he was not being questioned by the police. We're in North Georgia and I'm I'm I'm brown and he's not. So they didn't even really he was just like, oh, well, the lighter fluid exploded.
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, where's the exploded lighter fluid? I mean, I didn't even know. I'm this is for
Linnsey Dolson:me going back in fluid was at that time if he was chasing you with it? Like, where was it?
Tonya Meisenbach:Where was it? The policeman noted, number one, he noted wine bottles. Because remember I said I drank a lot of wine. I'm
Linnsey Dolson:So they probably They're trash. They're free. Was drunk. Drunk and cooking.
Tonya Meisenbach:They're right. She's just drunk and cooking. But I didn't have the lighter fluid. He tells them that he had it and it exploded, which just by the way, liquids don't explode. Fumes explode, which is something I didn't really process back then.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, you you can you can throw a match in a gasoline. It doesn't it's the it's the fumes that explode, not the not the fuel. Right. So but the fact that the firemen didn't say anything about that kinda baffles me. That and and they noted I think they noted several bottles of lighter fluid on the ground.
Tonya Meisenbach:How much lighter fluid I mean, did he plan it? I mean, I don't remember. Why do we have so much lighter fluid? I don't I don't even know. I can't I can't reason through that part.
Linnsey Dolson:Maybe they almost like, it didn't even cross their mind that he might have did it on purpose because it's so fucking horrific.
Tonya Meisenbach:Okay. That's number that's absolutely
Linnsey Dolson:true. Like, their brains might not have been absolute to wrap around the fact that this
Tonya Meisenbach:Absolutely human
Linnsey Dolson:lit this other human on fire and, chased him with here. Yeah. And chased and he's married. So it could It was hard for me. Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:They might not have been able to wrap their hands around it, like Fair enough. Mind around it.
Tonya Meisenbach:Fair enough. Because that's why, you know, even though he'd been a jerk for fifteen years, you know, for me, it was like, that doesn't mean, like, you set somebody on fire. That's twisting.
Linnsey Dolson:That is a fucking psychopath. Not Justin Narcissist. That is a fucking psychopath. Agree. With I agree.
Linnsey Dolson:Zero empathy, zero emotion. Literally, it doesn't get any more piece of shit than that. Exactly.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. And now I can see it so clearly. Like, all those years, I was his conscience. I would tell him, well, you can't do that. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:Because he he didn't know. Looking back at that, he truly doesn't know things that are right or wrong. And they and that's why they attach to someone who's exceptionally empathetic because we will, you know, they can you know, we will correct them and they can kinda live, you know, by association with us.
Linnsey Dolson:Well, and we you know, and when it comes down to it, we teach people how to treat us. Absolutely. I did learn that early in life. I learned that later in But it it's a 100% true. So people know what they can get away with.
Linnsey Dolson:Yep. And so if they have somebody that they know I can manipulate, I can take off at night. I mean, I've you know, I sponsor women and some of them are like, you know, my boyfriend keeps cheating on me. Well, if you've let him cheat seven times, then he can come back. Why the fuck is he not gonna cheat an eight?
Linnsey Dolson:Right. You know? So you allow it.
Tonya Meisenbach:And we think instead, we think, well, he keeps disappearing and he knows it hurts me and he loves me, so he's going to stop disappearing.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:He thinks, I keep disappearing and she keeps forgiving it, so I can do what I want.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. Because she'll she'll always be there. So at this point, you get to the hospital. Is he in the ambulance?
Tonya Meisenbach:He was in a second ambulance because he burned his little arms. You know? But in the he had, like, first degree burns.
Linnsey Dolson:Stop him and his little burn arm. Oh my god.
Tonya Meisenbach:Not a lot. They took him in a separate ambulance.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. So he's following you to the ambulance. Are they asking you what happened at this time?
Tonya Meisenbach:I can't remember being asked. I remember I remember the paramedic. And and this is written in the paramedics report too. I remember him saying, what's your pain level on a scale of one to 10?
Linnsey Dolson:A fucking 10?
Tonya Meisenbach:And I remember saying, I said and he wrote excruciating was my answer. Excruciating.
Linnsey Dolson:Like, I don't know. Pain meds in the ambulance?
Tonya Meisenbach:Oh, yeah. They will they have pain meds for that. And they do all they can, but it still hurts. This is a different
Linnsey Dolson:They almost like they need to did they, like, put you asleep
Tonya Meisenbach:a Yeah. Pretty soon. But he couldn't get me intubated. When you're burned and I've breathed fire at that point. I don't have the tip of my nose has been burned off.
Tonya Meisenbach:My upper lip has been burned off. I don't know it. I don't know how I'm talking. You know, my the extensions are burned completely off and there's nothing left but the tracks that are melted to my head. I think they saved my life, actually.
Tonya Meisenbach:Because that and the cornrows of my natural hair kept my scalp from burning.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, wow.
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't know if I could have survived it if my if my entire face and scalp had been burned because it's very hard to heal that infection comes.
Linnsey Dolson:So That's exactly what I was thinking as to.
Tonya Meisenbach:Infection comes to kill you. It's not the burns that
Linnsey Dolson:kill you. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:I mean, if the burns kill you, they kill you initially like you burned to death. Right? But, yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:It's the infection.
Tonya Meisenbach:He didn't put me out in the ambulance because he couldn't get me intubated. He couldn't get the tube down my throat.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:And you've got to when when they put you out with, this paralytic, they're putting you out, you can't breathe for yourself anymore. Right. They've got to be able to intubate quickly. Right?
Linnsey Dolson:Makes sense.
Tonya Meisenbach:So they stopped at, one hospital, the closest hospital, and they intubated me there. And the nurse noted that, you know, husband came in, said you know, they were trying to get me transported to the burn unit at Grady Memorial in Atlanta.
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:I was having trouble. I was self employed. The insurance didn't wanna pay for this ventilator transport.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh my god.
Tonya Meisenbach:They didn't wanna come get me. And so the nurses had to work to get someone so I wouldn't have to wait hours to get to the burn unit. Don't even get me I mean I'm I'm sorry. I'm I'm sorry. Can't get to the burn unit because she's not in I just canceled my Ugh.
Tonya Meisenbach:Dang insurance because it was gonna start January 1.
Linnsey Dolson:Because you're starting that self employed.
Tonya Meisenbach:It was gonna I was I was ticked off that it wasn't covering anything. So I canceled it and I reenrolled starting January 1 and I got burned on December 18. So the peer they don't wanna come transport me because it's a ventilator transport. You know, it's a big deal. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:Expensive.
Linnsey Dolson:On their own. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. And it's time consuming. But the nurse notes that he comes in and he says that he's just gotta run home and he'll meet me at the next hospital. And I know she noted that because it's unusual. I was laying there dying.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'm in, like, going into respiratory arrest. I'm clearly, you know, I'm I might not make it to the next hospital. Right. And you can either stay in this room with me or what? What are you going home for?
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, he had to go home. He probably had to make sure.
Linnsey Dolson:Go get high or something.
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, no. Well, he probably had to make sure, like, are the police coming or are they looking around or what what's, know, are they looking around the house? What's going on? He's really anxious, you know? Because, you know, he didn't need to stay.
Tonya Meisenbach:He just had first degree burns, basically a sunburn. All the craziness that had to fall into place for things to happen this way. It's just kinda it's kinda mind boggling. But, you know, a lot of people made a lot of notes about it. And I don't think that the nurses believed him in the burn unit because they would spend a lot of time with me after I woke up.
Tonya Meisenbach:And nurses don't do that. I mean, they're lovely, but they don't spend their lunch break with you. They can't. Sure. They can't do that.
Linnsey Dolson:Well, and it's usually the outside that sees things before the people that are in this situation.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right.
Linnsey Dolson:I mean, how many people have you seen their relationship and you're like, oh, it's so toxic. But Right. The person in the toxic relationship is the last one to realize it.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I, you know, I would hide it. I didn't tell my friends that he disappeared a couple of times.
Linnsey Dolson:Embarrassing.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? It's like Yeah. Humiliating. Like, I'm still with this guy. I didn't tell my family.
Tonya Meisenbach:I didn't tell my friends. My kids knew because they were living it with me.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:And they were suspicious of it when it happened, but they were young.
Linnsey Dolson:Were they at the hospital when this happened? Okay. So and what did they think? Were they like this was him?
Tonya Meisenbach:After I yeah. I heard later that they thought it was him, but they're like, when you woke up, you didn't say anything. Well, when I woke up, he was kissing my face telling me about the accident, you know? He did it. It was it was very calculated that he never left the hospital.
Tonya Meisenbach:I was in a coma for two months.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. Oh, wow. So two months in a coma.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:And he was there trying to be hero.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. Which kinda terrifying. And when I was in the initially for those two months, it's isn't it scary to think that he was in the room with me alone? Because I was in a burn ICU, very small room. Small room in you know, very small room.
Tonya Meisenbach:Just enough for a bed
Linnsey Dolson:and It's like a fucking horror movie. Isn't it? It's like a horror movie where they're stuck in the room with their fucking killer. Right. And nobody knows that they're the killer.
Linnsey Dolson:And no wonder. That shit is like I remember like Days of the Lies. Do you remember that show Days of Our Lies?
Tonya Meisenbach:Yes.
Linnsey Dolson:There was, like, crazy shit like that on that show. It's just in That's what I'm thinking.
Tonya Meisenbach:It's like I lived a soap opera, isn't it? It's like so, you know, if you're watching this as a movie, you would be screaming at the screen right now. Like, get in there.
Linnsey Dolson:Get the fuck out. I'm like, what Yes. The Get him out. And it's almost like I wonder if he's like, is she gonna wake up and tell on me?
Tonya Meisenbach:Absolutely.
Linnsey Dolson:Like, he wanted to fucking be there to make sure you didn't wake up and tell on him.
Tonya Meisenbach:And he told people I was crazy, that I was bipolar.
Linnsey Dolson:She told gotta start prepping. If you come out with a story
Tonya Meisenbach:She prepped. He prepped. Then they all do. They're all you're always gonna be bipolar. I promise you with a narcissist, you're always gonna be that.
Tonya Meisenbach:He told him I was noncompliant with my medication. I only took Wellbutrin for, like, anxiety and
Linnsey Dolson:depression. Right. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:He told him I was non compliant and the medication was his that he was non compliant with. Nobody checked. They just put it in my chart. Yeah. 45 year old
Linnsey Dolson:by four When you wake up and tell them what he did, he wants to be able to say she's fucking crazy.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. But instead, you know I'm just gonna drop this little, Joel. His he he has a his brother came up to help him and he's a doctor from Florida. And even though it was right after the holidays, he came up because my ex didn't understand what the doctors are saying. Even though he had four kids.
Tonya Meisenbach:He really got time off, so, you know, think what you will of that. But he came up and talked to the doctors. And also, they were sure for my anxiety to put me on Ativan, which just causes kind of big gaps in memories even if you aren't in a coma. Sure. And, you know, ativan you know, it doesn't control anxiety.
Tonya Meisenbach:It just makes you forget what happened. You know? So Right. So all these things came into play. Like, I guess the doctors didn't even question what happened because they had it on pretty good authority what happened and how it could have been this way, how he could have been the one holding the fluid.
Linnsey Dolson:I honestly think people couldn't wrap their I like, minds around the fact too that this wasn't an accident because it was so gruesome.
Tonya Meisenbach:That's true.
Linnsey Dolson:So horrific. That it it to, like, imagine, like, no. This piece of shit Right. Did this on purpose is so much. So you're hospital in a coma for months.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. Two months.
Linnsey Dolson:Wake up. Do you go home to him? Yep. Okay. Holy shit.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? That's the part. You get
Linnsey Dolson:the of the and be like, don't fucking go. Don't go. Stop. I know.
Tonya Meisenbach:Don't. Don't.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh my god. It is.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know? Because he stayed there the whole time and he just pretend to be nice, you know. They'd, like, every morning, you know, go to get his coffee and bring coffee for all the nurses on the Burn Unit Floor, all the doctors.
Linnsey Dolson:He would?
Tonya Meisenbach:This is what they do. He's the nicest guy ever.
Linnsey Dolson:Of course. Yeah. Because he just almost killed somebody.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. I'm in a I'm in a coma on Valentine's Day, and he's bringing in gifts. I'm in a coma. Who are the gifts for?
Linnsey Dolson:Liar, Nina. I can't
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't know that you got me a giant stuffed freaking giraffe and some flowers, but it's all about image.
Linnsey Dolson:100%. It's manipulation.
Tonya Meisenbach:It's manipulation. They continue to manipulate it. But, you know, it it worked then pretty quickly. And this is where, like, me, the horror kinda began. Because I still didn't accept like, how could he have set me on fire?
Tonya Meisenbach:He couldn't have done that. We've been married fifteen years. I've married you know, we've renewed our vows. I've taken This care of can't
Linnsey Dolson:be. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:It can't be. I believe him. It was an accident. Okay.
Linnsey Dolson:And It's so much easier to believe that. It's easier to believe that. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:Because what is he gonna do? And Yeah. And when I was waking up, you know, he's like, I'm so sorry that the accident happened. You know, he's telling me what happened. And a lot of what he told me, I remembered, I thought were my memories.
Tonya Meisenbach:It was not my memories. So he told me like, oh, yeah. I after having almost lost you, I can see what a jerk I've been all these years. I'm so sorry. I I'm gonna take care of you for the rest of your life.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'm so sorry this happened. I'll take care of you forever. I will never be that way again. That's called love bombing. And people take love bombing lightly.
Tonya Meisenbach:I hear it a lot on social media. And, you know, it's where they, you know, make you feel like the most beautiful princess in the world or whatever. Right. Because women do it too. Whatever.
Tonya Meisenbach:But he's literally resorting right back to the cycle of love bombing. Because, know, that's how they get you to forgive them.
Linnsey Dolson:100
Tonya Meisenbach:They go they go right back. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll never do it. So okay. Here we go.
Tonya Meisenbach:We go home and he's stealing my pain medicine. Yeah. That one gets me, like, right from the beginning. And I couldn't even give myself my own pain medicine. I had to learn to walk and talk.
Tonya Meisenbach:I couldn't swallow. I didn't eat or drink anything for eight months because you have to retrain your epiglottis, the little thing on the back of your throat. But when you're in a coma, all your muscles atrophy. So they stop working. That thing is a muscle.
Tonya Meisenbach:So I couldn't even
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, that's so wild.
Tonya Meisenbach:Do it. So I had a feeding tube and he had to give me he was in charge of medication. Now, I told you referred back to me thinking Right. He was an
Linnsey Dolson:The shit is in charge of they'll this is
Tonya Meisenbach:He's in like charge of the pain medicine.
Linnsey Dolson:It's like a fucking movie.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. And he's stealing the medicine. At least he's not, you know, using it to, you know, finish me off. He could have.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:But I doubt he would want to spare it because he was taking more of it than I was. Now I'm like, well, wow. That's why it was hurting so much. He wasn't dosing me enough because they dose really high on pain medicine in the burn unit.
Linnsey Dolson:Shit. Yeah. Well, yeah. I met could only imagine.
Tonya Meisenbach:They they dose within
Linnsey Dolson:an I'm inch of your sure need to. Like, you can't imagine the pain.
Tonya Meisenbach:A doctor told me here I never understood how they could give such massive doses of pain medicine. But he told me, here, he's like, well, if you weren't in massive amounts of pain, it would kill you. And that never occurred to me that the pain medicine you can take that is, you know, in correlation with the pain you're in.
Linnsey Dolson:That's wild.
Tonya Meisenbach:I never knew that until now.
Linnsey Dolson:I didn't know that either.
Tonya Meisenbach:So that's why my dose is so high. Right? Yeah. That's why I can take a massive dose, but, you know, someone on the street can't. So
Linnsey Dolson:How long did you live with him before you got the fuck out of there?
Tonya Meisenbach:I lived with him. It was that was 2020 when I got home. Things were horrible. It was 2024 before I left. But it was not 2024 before I remembered.
Tonya Meisenbach:That was in 2023 when Tell
Linnsey Dolson:me about that, how you started remembering.
Tonya Meisenbach:It was crazy. Well, first, I got really mad at him because I had I had gotten sick and needed to go to the hospital. And he I had to call 911 because he wouldn't take me to the hospital. I had pancreatitis. And he left me at the hospital for, like, six days.
Tonya Meisenbach:But Of course, he did. And then he got mad. I mean, I was like, you didn't come? Yeah. And he's like, I have a cold.
Tonya Meisenbach:I had pancreatitis. And I was in the hospital on the anniversary of my burns. I was all in my feelings.
Linnsey Dolson:But that's not a surprise because that's his yeah. Because that's his behavior. Like, why would he suddenly care?
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. But it helped me because I was like you know, looking back at everything, by this point, I had been I could get myself on medication. I was fighting to keep him from stealing it. I was buying these little safes on Amazon like Good
Linnsey Dolson:for you.
Tonya Meisenbach:He would bust them open.
Linnsey Dolson:He didn't care. Shit. He didn't care. Wow.
Tonya Meisenbach:Girl, there was there was massive amounts of oxycodone and Dilaudid in there. I mean, they they dosed you high.
Linnsey Dolson:I I can only imagine. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:But but it's needed. But he's taking it. And I mean, he was
Linnsey Dolson:just I'm like sure that's making him even fucking more crazy.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. And and I didn't know that he was doing heroin and meth together.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I don't I think that can make you pretty crazy. Right? Because he's Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:For And drinking. He's just like, don't
Linnsey Dolson:So he's a complete fucking nutcase at this point?
Tonya Meisenbach:Anything he could yeah. And and turns out he'd been that way. I can I know the moment that he started doing meth because he told me somebody else was doing it, and it was so out of place? They they tell them themselves. So I
Linnsey Dolson:They know do. They think everybody's fucking stupid. Know. The narcissists think people are stupid and it's like, there's times that have you ever talked to one and you're like, okay. My intelligence is like so insulted right now.
Linnsey Dolson:Do they really fucking think I believe that?
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. And for me, I was like, when he told me the fact that I remember it a decade later because it was so out of place. And then when I found out he was on it, I was like, that's when it started. That's what he was telling me. Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:So everything was memories started coming. Right? With, like, you're noticing all these things with him and the memory started coming back?
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. And I'm, you know, I'm fighting for my pain medicine. This person doesn't love me. And I still don't remember what happened, but I I thought I've gotta get out of this one way or another. But I had been really scared.
Tonya Meisenbach:I I didn't wanna end up in, like, a home
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:Because I couldn't take care of myself.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I didn't I wasn't gonna go my my daughter, you know, she's just gotten her nursing license, and she's living her best life. And I'm not gonna go Yeah. Sleep on her. I just wasn't going to do it. Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:So I didn't want to end up, like, alone or, you know, just in
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, no.
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, just that that feels hopeless. Yeah. You know?
Linnsey Dolson:No. That's I a mean, I could totally see that fear. No. 100%.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. And I still didn't think like he did it on purpose. I just thought it happened. He's never gonna change. He's still a jerk.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:That's where I met at that point. Then I found the drugs. That's how I knew he was doing them. I found like just a bag of just a lot of stuff. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:I called the police because I was ticked after that pancreatitis thing. I took a picture of the drugs. Right? It was a lot. It was like a bag of meth that my friend told me.
Tonya Meisenbach:She was like, he's selling because he's like that.
Linnsey Dolson:She's so like much.
Tonya Meisenbach:Was it was so much but I didn't even know it was so much because it looks small to me if you don't know. But, you know, my friend was like, you know, she had you know, she was recovering and she's like, he's selling. Right? I called the police. I took a picture of it, called the police.
Tonya Meisenbach:He pretend to flush it, ran off. I show the police. I'm like, look. And they're like, well, we can't do anything about that. I was like, well, took it and he left.
Tonya Meisenbach:And and we can't do anything about a picture. And I was like, well, how about you go get him? You know, I'm telling you that he has this. He's in a big giant truck. You're like, yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. They
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? And so I was like, okay. Fine. So I started figuring, you know, I need to really do more with social media because it's the only you know, I can't, like, work a nine to five job at that point. I've gotten a lot better now.
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't I still don't think I could, but and my I someone asked me to do TikTok, and it was because I was trying to get a job still trying to get a job to help my son who needed financial assistance, and I didn't wanna ask my husband.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:And this is how it all fell into place because
Linnsey Dolson:So it was God's plan for you.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. Yeah. Right. Then, you know, it's God's timing, not ours.
Linnsey Dolson:100%. Well and, you know, like, you look back and maybe your mind couldn't at that time It wouldn't. Accept the truth.
Tonya Meisenbach:Absolutely not.
Linnsey Dolson:Right? Like
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't know if I'd have survived because even after you wake up from the coma, you're not out of the woods in the burn unit.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. Well, and imagine waking up from a coma and then you're just trying to fight for your life, and then you have to realize that, no, like, I was actually
Tonya Meisenbach:Right.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh my he tried to kill
Tonya Meisenbach:me. By this person.
Linnsey Dolson:By this person who's freaking in the room with me. That's a lot for our brains to take. So God was probably, like, giving it to you as you could take it. Isn't that amazing? Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:Is that it's he does. That's exactly how it works in life. It it is.
Tonya Meisenbach:I I'm so yeah. I'm so glad you get that. Because for me, I'm just like, wow. Because, you know, if you you have to have the will to live in the burn unit. A lot of people do not make it out.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. And honestly, that could who knows if you would have had the will finding that out? Like, the person in my life I'm supposed to love the most, like
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. And what am I gonna
Linnsey Dolson:do? Me.
Tonya Meisenbach:The kids moved out. What am I gonna do? Right. It woulda it woulda worn me down.
Linnsey Dolson:You weren't ready for that yet.
Tonya Meisenbach:I couldn't have taken it. Yep. I couldn't have taken it.
Linnsey Dolson:So I love that you know that. I love that you know that. You're so fucking amazing.
Tonya Meisenbach:I do know. I 100% know. It had to be that way. Yes. And I don't question it anymore.
Tonya Meisenbach:But it was hard getting out though after, you know, doing those TikToks. That's when I started telling my story every day. You know, before I would tell my story on occasion, but not not on repeat. Not you know, and it you know, this is in the heyday of the
Linnsey Dolson:entire your story at this time, you were telling the story that was told to you.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay. So you're like, this is what happened and people were getting really intrigued because you have good following. Your followers love the heck out of you. Someone says one bad thing about you and you
Tonya Meisenbach:Oh, yeah. They can
Linnsey Dolson:Girl, you don't have to defend yourself. They are on there.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'll defend myself. Sometimes I get a little miffed, and I'll throw and I'll throw somebody under the bucket. But most of the time, I don't
Linnsey Dolson:even read it. You have a hell of a following now, and
Tonya Meisenbach:they They're love good people. And and this was the heyday of TikTok. So when you're doing TikTok live, there's for me, there was 10 or 15,000 people in the room at the time every day. And I do it five days a week, three hours a day, do my makeup, tell the story. And by that point, you know, you're you're really focused on the you're doing you're multitasking.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. So And you're healing. Yeah. You're healing. You're healing.
Linnsey Dolson:That's true. Next journey in that that talking. Right. It's part of the healing and even feeling comfortable in your new self. Right?
Linnsey Dolson:Because, like Yes. It's, you know, you have to get comfortable with the burns, with your all of it. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, I'd worked through all that. I felt, you know, I felt comfortable enough and I'm doing TikTok. I still imagine at this point, I don't have a nose. Think about that. I don't have nostrils at the time.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'm doing makeup until it was
Linnsey Dolson:sleep. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't have this little brown part of my nose was at
Linnsey Dolson:could breathe out of your mouth.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. I still do a lot of I'm still trying to retrain like breathing.
Linnsey Dolson:Because
Tonya Meisenbach:feel me kinda do it a lot.
Linnsey Dolson:Is hard. When I got my nose done Yeah. They stuffed it full of gauze. Thank you.
Tonya Meisenbach:And Is it hard?
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. Because I was like breathing out of my nose. It felt like somebody was like covering my nose.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. And I just I mean, I didn't have the nostrils and I would always breathe through the mouth. And there were some things inside that needed to be repaired too that I didn't realize that they've done here in LA since I got here. Your nose looks great. It's sick.
Tonya Meisenbach:It's so good, but, you know, the skin is darker because it came from this skin up here. It's amazing what they did. And I don't care. If you notice, I've stopped. I'm not even, like, camouflaging my skin differences right now because I'm kinda like I don't know.
Tonya Meisenbach:I'm having some kind of movement right now over the past month where I'm like, no. I I really kinda I'm okay with that as long as I glow. I don't know what's happening. You do glow. Some kinda, like, thing.
Tonya Meisenbach:Like, my skin care is looking so good that I'm like, no. I'm glowing. I I don't wanna put it. I love that. Oh
Linnsey Dolson:my god.
Tonya Meisenbach:Look at you. It's like something is happening over the past month.
Linnsey Dolson:You gotta tell us how you got away. I need to know Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:How you got away. I spent the whole time after I remembered thinking I'm gonna earn the money and I'm gonna get away. I contacted a domestic violence organization. Thank goodness because he ended up having me arrested.
Linnsey Dolson:Hell no.
Tonya Meisenbach:Oh, hell my god. I'm gonna do this in a nutshell, but he, like, provoked me and it had to do with my dog whose whose tail was injured and he got in between me and him. This is last year, last May, May 2024.
Linnsey Dolson:Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I pushed him out of the way and he was recording because he
Linnsey Dolson:knew You're gonna tell me you kicked his ass. I was gonna make fun That's okay. You know
Tonya Meisenbach:I was gonna get arrested.
Linnsey Dolson:Would Right. Shit. If I'm going down, I'm gonna fucking take this
Tonya Meisenbach:down, I'm gonna whoop you.
Linnsey Dolson:But it's okay. Karma. Karma is all that he needs.
Tonya Meisenbach:Karma is huge.
Linnsey Dolson:Karma is all that he needs. So he had you arrested.
Tonya Meisenbach:And that set things in motion because then he filed a TPO against me. He did all this because he knew I remembered. I shouldn't have let him know that I remembered.
Linnsey Dolson:God's doing for you what you couldn't do for yourself.
Tonya Meisenbach:Amen. Right? Right?
Linnsey Dolson:He's making it happen. That's exactly
Tonya Meisenbach:Making it happen.
Linnsey Dolson:Makes you move. Peeing yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. And, you know, I get arrested. They let me out. It was no big deal. You know, it's like Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:Signature bond, case dismissed. They knew he was lying. Sure. Right? But it opened it up to where I could get a TPO against him.
Tonya Meisenbach:Or and so then we just ended up doing like a mutual agreement to stay away. That got him out of the house. But I was still stuck financially because, you know, they had him give me, like, some alimony that was just barely enough to cover it. I was in a 5,000 square foot house in Alpharetto and me and a dog and a tortoise and it was just too much. Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:So I I mean, I could live there, but I couldn't save the move. Sure. So I was stuck.
Linnsey Dolson:And why do you wanna be in a 5,000 square foot house by yourself? Only a way. Like, that's like
Tonya Meisenbach:A dog and a tortoise and
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, not okay. I'm sorry. And the tortoise. Damn it.
Tonya Meisenbach:A tortoise makes a difference.
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. Yeah. It does. My son has a tortoise and he's obsessed with that.
Tonya Meisenbach:I love my tortoise. He's still in Georgia. I gotta get him. But anyway, he couldn't make the trip. But yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:So I'm stuck and I know I'm stuck. And I just don't know how I'm gonna get out because while I'm in that house, he knows where I live. And every night, I'd be scared to go to bed because I think, like, he's going to come set the house on fire. He knows I remember. He doesn't want me talking.
Tonya Meisenbach:He doesn't want that to happen. And it was so from May until August 2024, that's how I lived. And nobody knew. I was doing social media. I couldn't speak out.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know, if you're in this situation, you need to get to safety before you speak about it, particularly publicly, because they will
Linnsey Dolson:end you. 100%. They won't
Tonya Meisenbach:they won't end
Linnsey Dolson:you For for sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:And everyone told me that. My therapist, the d v counselor, everybody. So face forward one day saw me doing an Allies of Skin ad on Instagram. And they were like, oh, that'd be someone good to bring to LA. And, you know, we have they have these Beverly Hills plastic surgeons that donate their time to help people that survive domestic violence Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:And human trafficking. Was so kind. Right? And from all over the world, you can come. And I thought they were contacting me to be an ambassador for them because I do that for a lot of people.
Tonya Meisenbach:So I kind of I put off the meeting. Was like I was like, okay. Well, okay. We'll do a couple of weeks. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. And then I sit down to the meeting and the executive director is with her and she's like, yeah, we help people, survivors of domestic violence. And she's like, you know, there's probably something we could do with you around your nose area and your eyes. And she's like, even though your skin grafts are beautiful, which they are well done for for what it is, for a whole new face, they're well done. And she's like, but it seems like your story is maybe as an accident, but I'm not sure because what would hap as I as I remembered, I wouldn't tell my story the same way.
Tonya Meisenbach:I I wasn't telling on him, but I wasn't lying either. I was leaving out details when I would tell it. At this point, it'd be like, well, I caught fire. Right? And then this happened and it started to get very vague.
Linnsey Dolson:Well, that's like God preparing your mind for like Yes. What action I mean, you telling that story that you tell it because you know it now and you've came to terms with it. It's like Yeah. Even when I tell stories about That's using meth while I'm pregnant, giving birth to a postox child, like, Right. That's fucking horrific but I came to terms with it.
Linnsey Dolson:And so I can tell what other people are like. So your mind is just being able to like Yeah. Take in that information. Yeah. Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:And accept it and be okay with it.
Tonya Meisenbach:And just be okay. Right. But, yeah, it's just like, you know, I'm and and I told her. I immediately said, no. Well, this is what happened.
Tonya Meisenbach:I just and people know.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, you told
Tonya Meisenbach:her Oh, that
Linnsey Dolson:yeah. Good.
Tonya Meisenbach:For you. I had to. They they don't help. It has to be domestic violence, human trafficking. But I didn't even know I mean, actually okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:Let me back up. A couple weeks before, she'd had someone contact me, and I didn't know him from Adam. He sent me an email. And I was like, well, I'd really love to help because, you know, he told what they do. And I was like, my situation is actually domestic violence.
Tonya Meisenbach:I just haven't announced it yet. I didn't know this man from Adam and I told him for absolutely no reason. But that was integral to him telling her. Because she's like, There
Linnsey Dolson:God was a reason. That was God's plan. Right. Right. Right.
Linnsey Dolson:Was a 100% reason. You were supposed to tell him this was all God's plan for you.
Tonya Meisenbach:Tell random guy. Right. And so when Mandy, who's the executive director, when she says to him, I don't know. It doesn't look like domestic violence. And he said, just talk to her.
Tonya Meisenbach:Right? He didn't even tell her what I told him. He didn't even betray that. He just said, just why don't you just ask her? So that was not kinda like a nod to, like, he knows something that she doesn't know.
Tonya Meisenbach:So I immediately said to her because I wasn't lying to people about it, I just wasn't announcing it publicly.
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:A lot of people knew. And when I told her, she said, well, we can help you. And I was like, you wanna help me? Because I real I just really thought she wanted me to help them.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. Like, she wanted you to Right. Right. Right. To, like, clap or some kind of thing like that, but not just solely to help you.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I was like, yeah. I was like, you wanna help me? Like, yeah. She's like, we could do your nose. And on the spot, I said yes.
Tonya Meisenbach:To a a crazy nasal nose reconstruction, which is hard to you know, it's great. It's like I'd rather rather have a nose than not, but it's a lot of surgery. And it's hard to go back into surgeries once you've healed out of it. You know, I I probably
Linnsey Dolson:Yeah. No. You literally just got where you're Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:Where we
Linnsey Dolson:function got each day. Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:So you've had, like, 30 something surgeries.
Linnsey Dolson:Right. You know? Like another
Tonya Meisenbach:Right. It's like, do I wanna do that? But I was like, yeah. Yeah. Because I can get out of here.
Tonya Meisenbach:I can get to the West Coast. And she's like, we have a house. You can stay in it. You need to stay at least three to four months. And then she came back and she said, well, you know, doctor Mani says you need to stay about six months.
Tonya Meisenbach:And I was like, great. Right? So that gives me I don't have to worry about the finance of it. You know, I can just the only thing I said is I have to bring my dog.
Linnsey Dolson:So they gave you the housing that you're in. How long have you
Tonya Meisenbach:been They can give me this house. I'm in my own place now.
Linnsey Dolson:Next door is this. That's was like, wait. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:Got I've been here a year.
Linnsey Dolson:That's what I thought. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:But I stayed in their housing until June. The was it June 28? So I stayed in their housing.
Linnsey Dolson:Did they fly you out and everything?
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, they couldn't fly me because my dog is a 126. My dog's bigger than you. Okay. So so he could they wouldn't let him on the flight. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:So we they rented a car and they flew a friend that I had in LA to Atlanta and she drove back with me. Oh, my heart. My dog, we packed up and drove across the country.
Linnsey Dolson:Fuck yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:I got here forty days and forty nights after the first time I spoke to her. That's not lost on me, you know, biblically. So, right, that's not that's not lost. And so I got here and I had the surgeries. That's how I got out.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know? It was just meant to be. And after I got here is when I learned so much about what I'd actually survived.
Linnsey Dolson:It's almost like you needed this refresh, right, and a restart to really just take it all in. Have you ever talked to law enforcement or tried to reach out and say, hey. No. Actually, this is what happened. I
Tonya Meisenbach:I did. Okay. And
Linnsey Dolson:And how did
Tonya Meisenbach:that go? Last year and the lady it was actually when they were arresting me. I was like, okay. Well, you need to I was telling them what happened, and they understood. They're like, yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We get it. Right?
Tonya Meisenbach:And she's like, well, we'll we'll reopen the case. We'll get it done. And it never got done last year. And, you know, someone told me to maybe try to refile it. But you know there's a statute of limitations.
Tonya Meisenbach:Somebody can try to kill you. And if
Linnsey Dolson:There's a statute of limitations on attempted murder?
Tonya Meisenbach:Well, most states qualify it as aggravated assault, not attempted murder, which is complex legal
Linnsey Dolson:Sure.
Tonya Meisenbach:Theory. But, like, murder attempted murder is half a crime. Do you understand? So if you get convicted of
Linnsey Dolson:it Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:The penalty is likely less than aggravated assault, which is, like, twenty years.
Linnsey Dolson:But your the statute of limitations is up?
Tonya Meisenbach:The statute of limitations is technically up. There's some things okay. So I'm walking my dog in Los Angeles. And I meet a lady and her nephew or something is the is like a attorney for the Northern District Of Georgia on the other side of the country. And I thought, man, that's karma.
Tonya Meisenbach:You know? Oh, man. And I tell her my story and, you know, I don't know that they can reopen it, but there are ways. Because I feel that in theory, the statute has to run from the time I remember because they didn't even investigate.
Linnsey Dolson:That most definitely could definitely
Tonya Meisenbach:I think that's reasonable.
Linnsey Dolson:I think so. I would Yeah. I mean, I would I would try. I would try. Got just a few more minutes, and I could stay here with you all day.
Linnsey Dolson:So I wanna fast forward just a little bit, and I wanna know about your life today. It's awesome. I see you on social media. You're you are so beautiful. You're so inspiring.
Linnsey Dolson:You're so incredible. Your self confidence, like, you're a fucking queen. Like, I love you. I feel your post and I'm like, I love you. Like, I the minute we have a mutual friend, Lacey, and she was like, girl, you have to meet this girl, Tanya.
Linnsey Dolson:She's fucking a she's just a star. And she showed me her social media and I was like, oh my god. Please ask her if you could do a group chat. I gotta meet her. But you just you shine.
Linnsey Dolson:You shine. And I'm happy. Just tell me a little bit about your life today and how you I mean, it's probably a lot how you've came to that, but just
Tonya Meisenbach:Just through this. Just through, Marlene, I think, turn pain into purpose.
Linnsey Dolson:Fuck. Yes.
Tonya Meisenbach:Turn pain into
Linnsey Dolson:purr. That's exactly, girl. That's exactly what you do.
Tonya Meisenbach:Do it. Yep. And that will change everything. And everyone always says be grateful. And I have to remind myself, know, these days when I'm like, okay, I don't have this.
Tonya Meisenbach:To remind myself of what I do have. And I think when you live that way, all these things come to be. And that's what I've learned really over the past year being here, learning everything. And, you know, then I got a publicist who donated her services because she's on the board of Baseboard. You know
Linnsey Dolson:that's crazy. See you on the red carpet.
Tonya Meisenbach:They're all living it out. I'm like, alright. So here we go. And then I got with an agent that I've wanted to be with forever, but you have to be in LA or New York to be with this particular agent. Okay.
Tonya Meisenbach:They represent visible people with visible differences and intellectual differences.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh, interesting.
Tonya Meisenbach:They're a whole agency. So they really have connections with major brands that
Linnsey Dolson:I would imagine.
Tonya Meisenbach:Inclusivity to their campaign. So I'm like, that's a dream. Haven't really gotten started with them. I'm just on the cusp all
Linnsey Dolson:so cool to maybe modeling or Yeah.
Tonya Meisenbach:They put you out for modeling, acting, everything.
Linnsey Dolson:Oh my god.
Tonya Meisenbach:But I'm just getting started. I still need to get
Linnsey Dolson:around so for the much with you with your confidence, just with everything.
Tonya Meisenbach:Great. I wanna be in, like, a And Oh, yeah. I wanted to do this when I was 18, and I never did.
Linnsey Dolson:Whole fucking life ahead of you still. Right. I Like this feel is like your bonus round of life. Isn't it? You can assume that.
Linnsey Dolson:Literally.
Tonya Meisenbach:Yeah. Second chance.
Linnsey Dolson:Second chance at life.
Tonya Meisenbach:And it's so much better. I'm happy. I'm content with myself. I don't need that constant need to, like, for validation from others. I don't need it.
Linnsey Dolson:Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:I don't need a you know, when we say I don't need a man, it's beyond that. I don't need validation from anybody. And that's great. I mean, part of that is just being, you know, 52. And once you life begins at 50.
Linnsey Dolson:You know what? And everything that you go through makes you who you are today. Like, people ask me all the time, do you regret everything you've gone through? And I'm like, well, you know, I mean, it was rough, but it made me who I am today. Every single stone that I walked on, every along my path Yeah.
Linnsey Dolson:Turned me into who I am today and built the confidence and set me up for it. And it's the same with you. Absolutely. It's the same with you.
Tonya Meisenbach:I often think like, wow, everything in my life led me to this point and made me capable of doing what I do now. Like, how am I here? How how am I here? And I'm gonna do like commercials and I do makeup that I've been doing since I was 10. I I don't know.
Tonya Meisenbach:It's just like, wow. God is good. And, you know, if if I theoretically, if you could do it over without all the pain, you would. But you couldn't end up being the same person that you are.
Linnsey Dolson:I love that. I love that. So much. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Like, I was so excited, and I'm, like, holding back tears, you know, through your story.
Linnsey Dolson:It's just Yeah. I'm so inspired. Like, I truly am. You're just so beautiful and amazing. Can you tell everybody how they can find you, where they can come follow you?
Tonya Meisenbach:Absolutely. They can follow me as burned beauty twenty eighteen on every platform. Literally, I'm working all the time. Every platform, I'm there. Burr as burned beauty twenty eighteen.
Linnsey Dolson:Same handle across all of them?
Tonya Meisenbach:Everyone. Every time.
Linnsey Dolson:Awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys.