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I’m here to guide and accompany you to your greatest potential and give you the tools to create a life beyond your wildest dreams. You will change your life’s narrative, transform your limiting beliefs, and you will fully own your magnificent power. So that you can go from lack, to making your life one big authentically yours mind-blowing story.
I know you want more than your current reality. So, let’s unleash your inner badassery. Let’s explore the Intersection of Pain, Passion and Power. You don’t know how? I do. I have been where you are now. I suffered, learned, awakened and succeeded so that I can show you how.
With me, you get an unapologetic, powerful sister and guide with exceptional skills and a fearless attitude, all in one. Think "Sistuoso Maestro".
So, welcome to your POWER LIFE!!
Let’s do this. You have waited way too long already.
Welcome to another episode of The Power Life Podcast.
Today, I wanna peel back the layers on a topic that hits close to home for many of us, including myself—I'm talking about people pleasing.
I had an experience this week that really challenged me. A group of people was denying me money that ethically and legally was mine. I was caught between letting it go and insisting on what was just. I realized that my people pleasing tendencies suggested to let it go (because one of my closest friends was involved in this and I did not want to risk our friendship), while my belief in justice on the other hand told me to fight for it. So… I found myself dissecting this behavior and I wanna share that with you today.
I’m gonna kick things off by confessing something: I am a recovering people pleaser.
My favorite question used to be, “What is your biggest weakness?” And my go-to answer? “I say yes to too many things and I struggle with having a work-life balance.” Sounds like a humble brag, doesn’t it? That my biggest flaw was working too hard? Yeah, today it makes me cringe as well.
The truth is, I was terrified of being disliked. I remember in High School I envied those bold, unapologetic types. While they seemed self-involved, you always knew where you were at with them. Me? In social settings I was a bundle of anxiety and indecisiveness. I wanted to crawl into a hole. Always scared that my choices would possibly upset someone and I would end up alone.
Why?
Because growing up, solitude was painted as a punishment. Sent to my room—alone. Warned that misbehaving would leave me—alone. And this fear dug its claws in deep. And I clung to people pleasing for many years to come. In social settings, in intimate relationships, as well as as a business owner.
And then I feel like there is something we do as women: sometimes people pleasing feels like the safest option in a world where diffusing male aggression can be a matter of safety. We've all heard of fight or flight, but then there is the thing called fawning—yeah, that’s a trauma response where you become overly accommodating to avoid conflict. And that was me as well.
And here's what my mentor hit home for me: my people pleasing wasn't just self-preservation though; it was also manipulation. Even though I’ve always had a great awareness for keeping my ego in check, the reality is, I was trying to control how others saw me by curating a distorted version of my personality. And that’s exactly what the definition of ego is. Crazy, right??
And with that in mind, it isn’t about kindness; it’s about managing perceptions—a tactic that’s not just unhealthy but, as I discovered, downright ego driven and therefore destructive to any relationship in the long-run. So … people pleasing will actually back-fire.
The next question I had was: what creates a people pleaser?
The answer is a mix of nature and nurture.
Think narcissistic or emotionally overwhelming parents—environments where a child feels they must please to avoid anger or abandonment.
It's a survival tactic, but it comes with a heavy cost. Relying on this behavior traps us in a continuous loop of people pleasing, which ultimately distorts all of our relationships.
Here's the bottom line: to the true people pleasers out there, being nice often serves as armor. It’s protection from criticism, from being seen as unlikable. But deep down, it’s also about feeling inadequate. It's not just self-serving though; it's manipulative… because it’s about needing something from the other person, even if it's just their approval.
So… people pleasing can range from a conditioned response to an outright desire to control people and outcomes. Whether it’s trauma, fear, or ego driving it, it is harmful to both the pleaser and the pleased. We all know that a true friend will always prefer honesty over resentment disguised as agreement. Don’t we?
To my fellow people pleasers out there: it’s time to let go.
Stop saying yes to things like airport runs that drain you, and don’t answer work messages after hours. Break those old patterns with a bit of … self-compassion. Remember, you don’t have to manage how everyone feels about you. Trust me, leaving space for genuine trust is far more rewarding for you and your relationships than clinging to control.
In closing, I love what Dr Wayne Dyer famously said, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” Let’s do ourselves a favor and live by that, and you’ll find that standing in your truth isn’t just liberating; it’s actually a game-changer for the kind of genuine relationships you have.
Thanks for tuning in. If this episode struck a chord with you, don’t forget to subscribe for more insights, that help us, make every day a little better.
Until next time, remember to take a moment to breathe and check in with yourself. You’ve got this.