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In this podcast episode, Jeff Iorg, President of the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, discusses the leadership discipline of being "slow to speak," based on James 1:19. Iorg emphasizes the importance of measured and thoughtful communication in various contexts like preaching, email, social media, and informal conversations. He shares personal anecdotes illustrating the pitfalls of hasty speech, including public missteps and private regrets. He advises leaders to ensure their words are deliberate, fact-based, and authoritative, avoiding premature judgments and unnecessary disclosures. By practicing restraint, leaders can maintain credibility and influence effectively.
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Ready to hone your leadership skills and unlock your full potential? Tune in to the Lead On Podcast, where Jeff Iorg dives deep into Biblical leadership.
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From effective communication and team building to strategic decision-making and fostering innovation, each episode is packed with valuable lessons and inspiring stories to empower you on your leadership journey.
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Welcome to the lead on podcast. This is Jeff Org, the president of the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention continuing our conversation about practical issues related to ministry leadership. On this podcast, we talk about the real work of leading churches and ministry organizations and the day to day struggles that we face as ministry leaders. I try to be as practical as I can possibly be. This is not a preaching podcast or a denominational promotion podcast.
Jeff Iorg:It's really focused on ministry leadership challenges. Today, I want to talk about a leadership discipline that I've spent my lifetime trying to master. I think I've grown quite a bit in this area, but quite honestly, I still have a ways to go. I wanna talk about the discipline of being slow to speak. And I draw this discipline from James chapter 1 verse 9 where James writes, my dear brothers and sisters, understand this.
Jeff Iorg:Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. The center phrase of that, little triad, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, the central central phrase, slow to speak, is what I wanna talk about today. Being slow to speak is a biblical value that's described in other places, not just in the book of James. I find a number of Proverbs address this very issue. Let me read some of them to you.
Jeff Iorg:Proverbs 29/20 says, do you see someone who speaks too soon? There is more hope for a fool than for him. Proverbs 2123, the one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble. Then Proverbs 12 18, there is one who speaks rashly like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 1728.
Jeff Iorg:Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent, discerning when he seals his lips. 1813. The one who gives an answer before he listens, this is foolishness and disgrace for him. Proverbs 1727, the one who has knowledge restrains his words, and the one who keeps a cool head is a person of understanding. And then finally, Proverbs 10/19, when words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
Jeff Iorg:The leadership discipline of being slow to speak means that you are careful with your words, that you measure what you're going to say, you think it through a bit before you just blurt out the thoughts that come to your mind. Now let me also add that when I advise you to follow the leadership discipline in the Bible of being slow to speak, I am not saying that you should not have strong opinions about important subjects. I am also not saying you should not speak up when a prophetic or a firm word is needed. Being slow to speak doesn't mean that you never speak or that you are reticent to speak. It means that you are restrained in your speech, that you're careful, measured, deliberate, and that you make sure that your words communicate and accomplish what you really intend for them before you say them.
Jeff Iorg:Well, as I've worked on this in my life over the years, there have been a number of issues that have come up that have harmed me when I have failed to be slow to speak. Let me talk about some of these venues. The first one, which may surprise you, is in preaching. I have, on occasion, blurted out things from a pulpit that I wish I had never said, And most of the time, when that happens, it's because I have a spontaneous in the moment thought that I think would just be the perfect word for what I'm trying to communicate in that moment. Now I do recognize that the Holy Spirit prompts us, guides us, directs us, and can spontaneously give us new ideas, so I wanna be careful with this.
Jeff Iorg:But it has been my overwhelming experience that most of those holy spirit led insights don't happen while I'm preaching. They happen in a study while I'm working. As god opens his word to me, helps me understand what it means, and shows me ways to communicate it that will be meaningful to my audience. It's not unusual for me to have that kind of, eye opening experience spiritually in my study time, where I see something and or experience something and think, wow. I have never thought of that before.
Jeff Iorg:And then to reflect on it, think about it, process it, and prepare to preach it. I believe that's how the holy spirit most often leads us. But when I've had those spontaneous thoughts, spontaneous insights, and I've shared them inappropriately. They have come back to haunt me from time to time. So I wanna challenge those of you who are preachers.
Jeff Iorg:Just because you have an in the moment thought, doesn't automatically mean it's from the lord, that the spirit is prompting. Now it may very well be and I certainly wanna acknowledge that, but I wanna just caution you that being slow to speak means measuring your words even when you're given 30 or 45 minutes to preach and recognizing that in that time, you have to be very careful with what you say. Here's another one, email. I have regretted some emails over the years. I remember once a person emailed me a very disruptive, accusation filled with veiled threats and couched in a lot of misinformation and wrong assumptions.
Jeff Iorg:And I fired back a heated response in the moment, and I'll never forget the response I got back. Thank you for your response. I will now post it on my website for everyone to see. I had failed to be slow to speak in my email, and by doing that, open myself up to significant levels of criticism from people who followed this person's website and really thought that what they were doing and saying was the gospel truth. All because I gave a flippant anger filled, abrupt response, I lived to regret it later.
Jeff Iorg:But while that story was meaningful to me and transformational in how I viewed being slow to speak on email, It was actually an experience my wife had, which really convinced us of the importance of this discipline. My wife and I had discussed on several occasions how important it was to be careful in what we said in in various context, including email. But, Anne had always felt that her email was sort of her email, and she could say whatever she wanted. And then a few, after that conversation, a few months went by, my wife was asked to be on a jury. This was a civil trial between 2 medical device companies that were fighting each over over some patent issues.
Jeff Iorg:And for 6 weeks, my wife had to sit in a courtroom and listen to testimony. And a huge part of that testimony was emails from the principals in these companies being put on the screen, being read aloud in court, and then being dissected by these attorneys who were attacking each other's, positions and therefore attacking the people who had written these emails and taken these positions. These emails had all kinds of personal comments, negative aspersions, harsh words, bad jokes, all at the expense of the other company and the people involved in the dispute. Now, of course, when those emails were being written, there wasn't a court case, and there was no thought in their minds that all of that would ever be made public. About a week into that trial, Anne came home and said, I can't discuss my trial with you, but I want to tell you that something has happened in the trial that's gonna change our lives.
Jeff Iorg:And when it's over, I need to talk to you about it. Well, that got my attention. So I said, okay. Well, let's see how let's see how and when we can have that conversation. So a few weeks went by and the trial ended, and my wife came home and said, let me tell you about what happens when you're not slow to speak on email.
Jeff Iorg:It can be shown to the whole world, and it becomes a permanent record of what you said or thought or did in the moment. And she said, Jeff, after seeing these for weeks now and hearing dozens and dozens of them dissected and seeing them put on a screen in a courtroom and all the things that went along with that, I just wanna say that we need to be very careful what we communicate by email and by other electronic communication Because whether we like it or not, we're creating a permanent record of what we said that will be used against us if it's ever brought about, in any kind of a public context and used, in this way. Well, that was a sobering conversation, especially coming from my wife, who has many of you know is one of the sweetest, kindest, most gentle people who doesn't think at all about lawyers or litigation or courtrooms. But for her to be so sobered by this experience was really gripping for me and caused me to remember every time I sit down at my computer screen that I need to be slow to speak. I need to be careful and measured and communicate, you know, clearly and succinctly and honestly what I'm thinking or feeling or asking, but be careful, so careful that I don't let that communication venue spill over into things that will ultimately be destructive.
Jeff Iorg:And, of course, this leads us to the 3rd area where you already know we need to be slow to speak and that's on all kinds of social media accounts or social media platforms. I am, frankly, astounded at how influential social media is in the lives of so many people. I suppose it's because of my contrarian nature, but social media has virtually no influence on my thinking. And so because of the way I view it, I tend to forget that many people out there are following various people daily to see what they think and what they're saying and how they can be influenced by it. Well, if you're participating in that entire arena of communication, I wanna challenge you to be slow to speak, that this biblical admonition and this leadership discipline applies not just in preaching and in private communication like email that can become very public, but also in public communication like social media platforms and social media venues.
Jeff Iorg:Be careful what you post. Be slow to speak in that context as well. And then finally, and especially for those of you who are in leadership positions, I wanna challenge you to be slow to speak in the hallways after the meetings. Most of us know that when we go to a meeting that we tend to speak in those meetings, formally and usually appropriately to each other and about each other, and then we go on the hallway after and have the meeting debrief. I learned many years ago that people who are looking to me for leadership are still listening when I'm in the hallway after the meeting.
Jeff Iorg:And that it's very important to measure my words even in that context to stay on mission, to stay appropriately engaged in the problems that we're working on and not degenerate into personal attacks, and to really be focused and engaged even in those context in what I say. So we're talking today about the leadership discipline of being slow to speak. It comes from James chapter 1 verse 19. And I gave you a lot of proverbs that sort of reinforce the idea, if you will. And then I've talked with you on the podcast today about some venues that you have to be slow to speak, preaching, email, social media, hallway conversations.
Jeff Iorg:Now let's talk about some practical things that you can remember that will help you to be slow to speak. The first one is this, remember that your opinion does not establish something as a fact. Your opinion does not establish something as a fact. I am amazed at the number of people who will say, speak, or write something that is their opinion, and they will couch it in terms of it being an absolute fact. Now, I know this is controversial, but let me give you a very, clear example in our culture.
Jeff Iorg:When there's criminal activity alleged, particularly, for example, by the police force, be very careful that you don't say more than you know about that situation. It is appropriate to say this behavior has been alleged or this person has been charged with particular crimes, but don't then make the presumptive judgment of establishing the fact in your mind because it's your opinion of the guilt or the innocence of the person involved. Now, let me go on to say that when guilt or innocence is established, you should have no problem saying that. And, holding to that position once it's actually become a fact. But I just wanna challenge you that your opinions do not automatically establish facts.
Jeff Iorg:And just because you've read an article or looked at a news report or observed some situation and you think you know what happened, you may really not know fully what happened, and there may need to be some time go by and real work done to establish the true facts before you announce them. So it'll help you to be slow to speak if you'll remember that your opinions do not establish something as fact. 2nd, remember that you're not qualified to speak authoritatively on every subject. You are not qualified to speak authoritatively on every subject. I am particularly, impressed by this when I see microphones thrust in front of professional athletes and they are asked their opinions on various social issues or political issues in our country.
Jeff Iorg:And people say, they should use their platform to have influence. Well, they certainly are free to do that. But I'm also free to use my good judgment and recognize that an NBA basketball player can speak authoritatively on anything related to basketball, not so much on social policy, not so much on political, convictions. And so I just wanna be careful that I don't think I speak authoritatively on every subject. That's one of the reasons I've kept this podcast so narrowly focused.
Jeff Iorg:I I've been a ministry leader for 40 years. I've been a pastor and a church planter and a denominational executive and a seminary president, and now I'm working again as a in a denominational executive role. I have been in all kinds of ministry context in every situation imaginable, and so because of that, I think I do speak authoritatively on the practical issues of ministry leadership. But I'm fully ready to admit that I am not, for example, an expert on public policy. I I like talking to people who are experts on public policy and listening to what they have to say because they are so insightful and helpful to me as I form my own perspectives.
Jeff Iorg:You know, I've even stopped speaking, on certain subjects not because they're not important to me, but just because I realize I'm not that good at it. I, for example, don't normally speak much any longer on thing at things like marriage conferences. It's not that I don't believe in marriage. Don't have a we have a strong marriage. We believe we have some things to say about marriage, but that's just not an area where I speak authoritatively.
Jeff Iorg:There are so many people out there today who who have that as their primary ministry and their primary focus, that's what they're writing about and studying and researching and teaching. Let the let them do the speaking on that subject. Now it's interesting because my wife and I do speak in marriage retreats for ministry leaders. We actually have a presentation we entitled Making Ministry Marriage Work, where we really focus on the unique challenges of ministry marriage and how we can address those and help people to learn how to live in that context more effectively. All I'm trying to say with these illustrations is I've been I've owned it.
Jeff Iorg:I am not qualified to speak authoritatively on every subject, and it helps me to be slow to speak when a subject is being discussed that I have to honestly say, I don't know that much about this subject, and I need to listen to other people who do. Here's a third one. You will be slow to speak when you remember that you do not have all the information about any given situation. I saw this demonstrated over and over and over again when I was working as the chaplain for the San Francisco Giants for 10 years. During those 10 years, I developed very meaningful relationships with players and their families and was given access to some significant insider information about the ball club and the lives of people involved and, for example, their their health, their injured status, things like that.
Jeff Iorg:I would listen to talk radio in the Bay Area as fans would call in and just go off on what they knew needed to be done to fix certain players or to adjust certain approaches or to make a difference in how, certain person was being coached. And I just always laughed at those fans because they had no clue what they were talking about. They didn't have all the information. They didn't know what I knew, and I was just a chaplain. Think how much more the manager of the ball club had access to and the trainers and people like that.
Jeff Iorg:One of the things that always was sad to me was when I would see a player who was having a rough series. People would be booing, calling for their replacement, yelling at the manager for lot taking them out of the lineup, and I knew that that player's father was dying of cancer or that their wife was in a crisis pregnancy situation and their mind was somewhere else besides the ballpark. See, these are the kinds of things that are going on with people that you just don't have any information about, and so be slow to speak. Be slow to offer your opinion about situations that, frankly, you just don't have all the information you need. It'll help you to be slow to speak if you remember that important reality.
Jeff Iorg:Here's another motivator. Be slow to speak so you don't disclose information you never intended to disclose or you weren't supposed to disclose. I'm thinking about one situation. This happened many years ago when I was a pastor. I was involved in some very, very intense marriage counseling with a couple.
Jeff Iorg:They were in the service the morning I was preaching, and for some inexplicable reason, I decided to use their situation, not their names or any identifying qualities, but they knew I was talking about them. I decided to use their story in my sermon. Now you're probably thinking, how could you have been so foolish? Oh, it's worse than that. I was complete moron.
Jeff Iorg:I mean, it was one of the most idiotic things I've ever done in ministry. It was one of the worst examples of disclosing information that should have never been disclosed. And it really damaged my relationship with this couple and significantly harmed their trust level in me as their pastor and as their counselor. It was just one of those moments where I used very bad judgment and disclosed something that I really didn't intend to disclose and really shouldn't have been disclosing in that context. Now let me go on to say that I did not go so far as to give out any identifying information, so I'm not sure that anyone else in the service knew that I was talking about someone that was in the service, but the couple knew and I knew.
Jeff Iorg:And I remember even while I was finishing up that section of my illustration, I remember thinking, what did you just do? How do you fix this? And realizing even in that moment that I had made a serious mistake. Being slow to speak will keep you from disclosing information that you just simply do not need to disclose. Edit yourself on the spot and move away from doing that kind of thing to people.
Jeff Iorg:And then number 5, another motivator to be slow to speak is you'll be slow to speak when you remember that failing to do so burns your influence on less significant issues when you may need it for bigger battles down the road. Now I know it's an old illustration. People say, you know, is this really a hill to die on? And it is an old illustration and and it, it's been around a while and I know that, But I also remember the very first time I ever heard it. I preached some sermon.
Jeff Iorg:I don't even know what it was about, and I got up and thundered like the prophet Isaiah or Jeremiah. And I just preached my heart out about some issue. I don't even remember what it was. When it was over, a man in my church who was the prosecuting attorney for our county said, could I see you for just a minute? Well, he was also a good friend and so sure.
Jeff Iorg:So we walked around to my office, and he said, I don't understand why you had so much passion and made so many absolute statements about the subject today. He said, Jeff, you're wasting your influence on things that don't matter that much. And I just wanna ask you, is this really a hill he wanna die on? That was the first time anybody ever asked me that question. And as I sat there listening to it coming from my friend, I thought, this man is a prosecuting attorney.
Jeff Iorg:He is a person who is committed to right and wrong and justice and righteousness. I knew him well. He didn't have any flexibility in him, if you know what I mean. This was a tough guy. And yet he was challenging me to have better judgment on what I staked my influence on and how I burned all my, leadership influence, if you will, on this subject at hand.
Jeff Iorg:Slow to speak means that we make sure that we save our strongest words for the strongest issues. That we stand up and say the most defined, the most definitive, the most prophetic words for the issues that really matter. And that we recognize that not everything deserves equal importance. Well, here's a couple of more motivators to be slow to speak. Let's wrap it up with these.
Jeff Iorg:You'll be slow to speak when you avoid when you're slow to speak, you will avoid being embarrassed by saying things you wish you had never said. When you're slow to speak, you won't put out that email. You won't put out that social media post. You won't say those words in the hallway. You won't say those words in the sermon.
Jeff Iorg:1 of my friends once told me, I have never had to apologize for something I did not say. Well, there's a lot of truth in that. I have never been embarrassed because I did not say something, but I have been embarrassed many times by what I did say. And then finally, another reason to be slow to speak is that you don't wanna create leadership uncertainty about your words. So, for example, if you if you're quick with an opinion about everything, you'll find that sometimes the next day or the next week or the next month, you've had to change your mind because you got new information or better information.
Jeff Iorg:And so people learn after they observe you do this a few times not to trust you when you first say something because they know you really haven't thought it through yet. That's not a good place to be if you're a leader. You want people to listen to your words and take them seriously. And so for that to happen, you have to be slow to speak. To make sure that when you say something, you intend to stand by.
Jeff Iorg:It doesn't mean you can't ever change your mind. Of course, you change your mind. When you get new information, sometimes you just have to say I was wrong about something. That's fine. Move on.
Jeff Iorg:But that should not be happening every day, or every week, or every month. And it shouldn't be happening on dozens of issues. It should be the rare example where you have to back up and say, I missed I missed I missed it on this one, and we need to go a new direction. Well, I've been reflecting a lot on this leadership discipline of being slow to speak. I've been working on it for about 40 years.
Jeff Iorg:I wish I could tell you that I had mastered it. I haven't, but I have gotten a lot better. I've learned to be quick to listen and slow to anger, as the rest of James 119 says. And by listening better and checking my anger at the door, and focusing on being slow to speak, By doing it in the venues I've described and then talking through these reasons why I'm motivated to do so, hopefully, you will adopt the same leadership goal. Being slow to speak is a leadership discipline.
Jeff Iorg:It's a Christian virtue. It's something that shows that we are serious about moderating ourselves and taking the words that we say seriously and using them wisely. I want to challenge you today to be slow, to speak, Put it into practice as you lead on.