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Its Where I Am focuses on the various mental health struggles that people all around the world face every day. Each episode covers a different facet of mental health with a new special guest. It's Where I Am airs on 91.5 Jazz & More every second Saturday of the month.
Unknown Speaker 0:00
This is a k, U, N, V studios, original program. You are listening to special programming brought to you by its where I am.com the content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 jazz and more University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education. You
Zandra Polard 0:40
it Good morning Las Vegas. It's Andre Pollard. It's where I am. Have a happy, happy morning going on this morning, feeling good, chilling with family. Want to talk about how we reunited. I got Brian Hagans in the studio. What up, hey, better known as Li. That's right, yeah, we're gonna explain all of that. But he is the founder of dream dads, which is an organization that supports fathers. That's right, right? So we're always supporting the mothers, that's right. But dream dads supports the
Unknown Speaker 1:25
fathers. Bring a little attention our way. Just a little attention. Yeah, you
Zandra Polard 1:28
know what I'm saying. I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to have you for two shows, right? Because your story is so unheard Well, it's unheard of to me. I'm sure someone out there that's listening may be able
Unknown Speaker 1:43
to relate, right? Yeah, yeah. You know, it's unheard of to me, too, till it happened. Yeah,
Zandra Polard 1:48
yeah. And we're gonna get into that. But first I want you to talk about dream dads. I want to talk about things you're doing for fathers, how you're supporting them. Give us some more information about that.
Unknown Speaker 1:57
Well, you know, in a short version, you know, I had kids of my own, and, you know, growing up in the city of Long Beach, you know, it's a struggle out there, you know, for certain leaders to stay the course. Because, you know, we have some good people growing up in Long Beach, good male mentors. You know, some of them hit the wrong path at the wrong time and all that type of stuff, but they were still good people to me growing up. You know, they still motivated me to do great things growing up. So, you know, for me, it was just more about discipline and balance staying consistent in a kid's life to help him stay consistent, or her to stay consistent as they grow up. You know, it was real simple, real simple as that, and that's what I had to do in my kids life in order for them to maintain simplicity in life growing up, because this is so complex, growing up in the city of Long Beach, you know, you got gang banging, you got game change, you got a lot of things going on there. So we want to just kind of be more of a protective unit, you know, towards our fathers, absolutely, because doing it in groups is better. Yes, you know what I mean. You can't do everything by yourself, but I can't raise my kids personally, you know what I mean. And so it started there.
Zandra Polard 3:08
So you were mentored, and now you are mentoring, yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 3:13
I guess I can say that, yeah.
Zandra Polard 3:15
I think that's wonderful. So how long has dream dads been in existence? You
Unknown Speaker 3:20
know? Well, my oldest son is 27 so probably since then, Oh,
Zandra Polard 3:24
really. So you started, like, you had a kid, and you were like, bam, Dream dads, you
Unknown Speaker 3:29
know, yeah, I had to be a dad, and I didn't look back, okay, you know, it took me probably two years to get adjusted to fatherhood, because I was going through sports and college and different things like that, and I had to, like, figure things out very fast, because kids do not stop growing, that's right. So when that happened, it was over with now, maybe about 12 years ago, in terms of business and stuff like that. Yeah, we want to advocate more of a dad friendly business towards our community, because it meant the world to me. You know, I didn't care about selling any other products, juice or whatever they out there selling. You know what I mean, it was more like, you know what you got one life to live once you sell what you're good at. And I was good at being a dad at the time, so and you still are. Yes, ma'am. Thank you very much. But it's still a work in progress as well. And I know a group of dads from Long Beach who don't get recognition at all, or dads before us, older than us, that have helped me out, helped me grow coaches, big brothers, uncles, whoever have helped me out. So with that point being said, you know, it was just something to put together for all of us to advocate towards our kids first, and then we can help other kids as well. Okay,
Zandra Polard 4:42
and so then, how do you help your community? What are the some of the activities that you guys do?
Unknown Speaker 4:47
Well, how we first started helping our community was probably the school supply giveaway, which that consisted of many people from lobby. Much like, you know, big time mentors that was in my life for a long time. One guy that I have to mention, named Leonard Adams, big time mentor Long Beach. I mean, pretty much his whole life. He has kids of his own, and he's mentored more kids than most kids are more grown men have ever did in our city. So he's very respected for a reason. And one day we came together, and we got together and did a school supply giveaway, and that was like our official give back, you know, we've been giving back forever, you know, under the radar, but this was our certified giveaway that we did on 21st and Lewis and Long
Unknown Speaker 5:40
Beach. And so you have one coming up this year as well. Possibly,
Unknown Speaker 5:44
we've been doing it, you know, yearly. Possibly this would consist of P nice with the new Long Beach team, and which represents the north east and the west Long Beach that he's advocating right now. And it's a really good deal for our city. Okay, so that's that'll probably be a good partnership.
Zandra Polard 6:01
So are you only helping dads in the Long Beach area or, okay, so you're helping dads all around Yes, the country, yes, ma'am.
Unknown Speaker 6:09
We help dads everywhere. Dads have helped us from everywhere we appreciate here, from Long Beach to Miami to Las Vegas as well, to Atlanta.
Zandra Polard 6:18
So do you will dads that have, like, legal issues, or is it more of just, like a support for dads to be better fathers?
Unknown Speaker 6:27
Yeah, that's a great question. We help dads in all avenues. You know, we don't do it all, so we have to point the finger to who doesn't. And we'll point the finger who to, who does it the best, you know, in our lane, you know what I mean? So, yeah, yeah, we help in all avenues, whatever needs to be done. We'll try to help, you know, find the tool for them to get
Zandra Polard 6:48
help. So it's like a peer led, yeah. Organization, absolutely,
Unknown Speaker 6:52
okay, absolutely. We don't ask for donations. We don't directly go into say hey, you know we want to help you directly with this, but we do have somebody that can help you is help us. Help you. Help him. Okay, situation, because that's what we need, and I didn't have that growing up. Okay, you know, I got a little late, so it's a
Zandra Polard 7:08
wonderful research for men. Yes, ma'am. Okay, so then, wow, okay, you have women who are part of it. Yes, yes.
Unknown Speaker 7:14
We have a lady named Shirley Raines who walk with us in the Martin Luther King parade. Okay? She feeds the homeless on Skid Row. She's traveling from Las Vegas to San Diego to different states. She's doing amazing, and we respect her on all levels, because she was one of the first ladies to walk with us in the Martin Luther King parade. And Miss Malika would love beyond limits in Long Beach, Miss Rogers Neighborhood out of copper in Long Beach, doing a lot of things. There's so many up here that's that's doing great.
Zandra Polard 7:43
That's wonderful. So let's give them some information. If anyone is listening and needs this resource. Dream dads, how do they
Unknown Speaker 7:53
find you? Instagram, Facebook, and you'll find us. We right
Zandra Polard 7:56
there, and it's just dream dads, yes, ma'am. Dreamdazz.com,
Unknown Speaker 8:00
dreamdazz.org, dreamdazz.org, you dream, dads love you like dream, dads, have you want to go a dream, dads, Long Beach pop up. Yeah. It's all about advocating for dance. You know, you know we love our moms. It's nothing against none of that. It's all about just advocating on our end, because we didn't get enough attention, and I felt like our, especially our male youth, needed to hear us coming. Yes, yes. It gives them a certain leadership role. You know, as they, as they're younger,
Zandra Polard 8:28
I love it, and that's why I really wanted to highlight what dream dads does, you know, and I'm gonna have to ask you to come back. Okay, we're not done yet, but you have to come back and let us know how things are progressing.
Unknown Speaker 8:46
Let's do it.
Zandra Polard 8:47
So another reason why I have you here Part Two within the show, yep. So your name is Brian Higgins, but with your family. You're known as lemon. That's right, so let's explain that. Yeah, well, well, we reunited, because I remember when you were born, right? Yeah, but your mom had a child already, and, you know, she was a young mother, and that's right,
Unknown Speaker 9:18
amazing young mother. Yes, yes, indeed.
Zandra Polard 9:21
My one of my favorite aunties, she made the decision to put you up for adoption when you're a baby. And I was very young, and I asked her one day, I said, Can you know, can I ask you a question? She says, Sure, they said, Whatever happened to that baby? And of course, she started crying, and she explained to me that, you know, she had to give you up for adoption, and that she wanted to try and find you through a talk show or something, you know, you know, talk shows are big back in, you know, the 90s and. Her. She thought maybe she could receive some help that way, but that didn't happen. And she just said, you know, I just have high hopes that maybe he's a football player. Yes, she did.
Unknown Speaker 10:11
Yeah, yeah.
Zandra Polard 10:13
So fast forward to the 21st century. I get a phone call that's right from you, right? And you say, you know, you're kind of, you know, shy about it, apprehensive. You asked me, Did I know Fred Pollard, who was our grandma, right? I was like, this is a scam artist. I got to go. I'm at the gas station. I'll call you back. Fast forward. We find you. Yeah, you call again. You call another family member. We find out who you are. Next thing you know, you're in Vegas. We're doing a swab test, DNA. Yeah, I take you. I meet you for the first time. Few days later, I take your mom down there, do her DNA, and then it's official, you are. Limmy Jones, the
Unknown Speaker 11:13
third Yes,
Zandra Polard 11:14
I am, who is my cousin. So officially, what is it like to be? I won't say old you are, but all your life as Brian Hagans, and now you got all these people calling you Lemmy. Look,
Unknown Speaker 11:27
I look, age is nothing but a number. So look here, you know, my first 42 years of my life, there was something different. I was Brian Hagans, you know what I mean. And the last six years, it's been Lemmy Jones, you know. And you know, I met my mom, my dad, my grandmother and all my family yourself, you know, my brothers, my sisters, all for the first time. Yeah, you know, six years ago, and unfortunately, I lost my mom, my dad and my grandmother within this time. So it's been a rocky road, you know what I mean, but I'm so grateful, you know, for times like this, to speak about it with my actual first cousin. You know what I mean, because I have not spoke about it really in public on this platform, especially, you know what I mean, it's been mainly due to protection from my kids. You know, they young, older. Now, they cool. I've been very transparent with them from day one about what was going on, so they are aware. You know, what we went through as a family. But I wouldn't trade it for the world in terms of how I met my mom, dad, grandmother, because it happened like that. I couldn't trade it, I couldn't switch it up if I wanted to, you know what I mean, so I just taken one moment at a time, but
Zandra Polard 12:49
like, what was the journey like? I mean, you did, did you do therapy? Man, did you do any kind of therapy? Well,
Unknown Speaker 12:57
I had Hennessy vodka sometimes, you know? Okay, you did like that. Yeah, I had a whole lot of therapy in that manner, you know what I'm saying, but I sit here today a little more sober, you know what I'm saying, and able to speak my mind. Well,
Zandra Polard 13:15
I think you did a lot of you didn't get any professional help, but you did a lot of talking, right? Right? You and I have had many conversations over and over again, and sometimes we repeat, right the story, and that's okay,
Unknown Speaker 13:31
right, real time, yeah, and, and that's the same as my friends and family in Long Beach, ones that know me close we probably spoke about this, you know, but I did have to cut my circle a little bit, only because of my own self preservation, you know, I was thin and out. I felt like, and I had to, you know, especially when mom passed, you know, that was, that was like, really tough. And then grandmother, then my dad passed, just recently. So it's like a continuing battle for balance. You know what I mean, did
Zandra Polard 14:06
you ever feel like, who am I definitely, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 14:10
without a doubt, especially at the beginning. You know what I mean,
Zandra Polard 14:15
first finding out that you were adopted and yes, you had a previous name and
Unknown Speaker 14:20
yes, and then you don't know who you related to. You don't know none of your DNA. You basically are not a part of the world you thought you was this whole time. Yes, on top of advocating that same situation for your kids, making them family strong, my kids are very family oriented. And then when my daughter was born, I mean, it was, without a doubt, she was gonna live. And know me as the 100% 100 and 20th percent, truth and authentic myself as a as my only daughter, so she was her middle name was named after the grandmother that raised me on 15th Street and Long Beach, okay? And
Zandra Polard 14:57
yeah, you had a whole nother family you had to deal with. It, you know? Yeah, no one told me who I was, and I knew you told me like I felt different. Definitely,
Unknown Speaker 15:06
yeah, definitely. You know what I'm saying, but I can tell you this, when I since day one to today, y'all have made me feel no different. Y'all made me feel like I've been around my whole life, yeah, it was just like instant everybody knew me, yeah, from a baby like, and I did not realize that would happen. And it was more comforting, you know, because I experienced a situation on my adopted side, with a sister that thought she was my brother, and she was not as welcome as I was on my real side.
Zandra Polard 15:42
Wait back up because I got confused. You grew up with a sister. You're a doctor. Never knew that. I never knew. Oh, you never met her
Unknown Speaker 15:50
and that she came to my doorstep one day. Oh, okay, yes, ma'am. And this is six months after I found out my situation, so I don't even know, really know what's going on. Well, okay,
Zandra Polard 16:00
so let's talk about your mom, your adopted mother, right? When you found out, right? You found out through her, right? And it was a, it was a letter, I thought, Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 16:11
after the fact that I found out through one of my other cousins on my adopted side of the family,
Zandra Polard 16:15
oh, okay, so you found out from a cousin, right? From the adopted family, told my wife, and then my wife came and
Unknown Speaker 16:21
told me, and was like,
Zandra Polard 16:22
Oh, let me, oh, excuse me, Brian at the time, Brian at the time. So then you confront your mom.
Unknown Speaker 16:27
I confronted everybody. Nobody told me anything. Nobody was front of my parents. Obviously that. I thought that was my parents, and they initially denied it. So because
Zandra Polard 16:38
you add, because I want to clarify, yeah, because you have so many moms and dads and grandmothers now, right? So your adopted mother and father? Okay, take it from there. My
Unknown Speaker 16:50
adopted mother and father, when I approached him with this, they initially denied it. Okay, couple months later, I get a letter in the mail from my adopted mom that told me the whole truth. So she confessed, she confessed, but she couldn't tell you on the phone,
Unknown Speaker 17:05
face to face, tell
Unknown Speaker 17:07
me face to face, at least, she got it in a letter. Got it in a letter, went to my pops. He broke down and told me everything okay, and me and my pops is very close growing up, so you know I had to understand where he was coming from. You know what I mean? You know what? But with that being said, it was all good,
Unknown Speaker 17:30
because I tell you, when you were young that you were adopted. Why do you think
Unknown Speaker 17:35
that's those the type of things that I don't understand, I do not understand. So I would never take that to another generation and do that to nobody's kids? I was always telling anybody that's been adopted, or if you adopted a kid, please be truthful with your kids, because kids have to grow up and live with the truth anyway. So what is the difference? You know what I mean? I don't know what parents adopted parents try to protect along the way, but it didn't work out for me, really, you know what I mean,
Zandra Polard 18:04
and it was a tough upbringing, knowing that, you know you weren't quite fitting in,
Unknown Speaker 18:09
right? I had my struggles, but I did have a loving family. You know what I mean? I mean it's not like we still don't get together and talk and have barbecues and sometimes and do do what we have to do like that, because I got love for them always, you know what I mean. But I have a real beloved family that was all through around me, all through my life in LA, I stayed in LA, all the murk Park. I stayed on Crenshaw and slot them was at my granny in the park for 60 years. You know what I mean. So, you know, it's just, I just mesh it as one big, huge family, and I just take out the ones that love me and the ones that don't. I don't really trip off. I don't have time for that. You know, my family life has been a little bit. Story is a little bit too deep here, right, for me to be tripping off BS, you know what I mean. So my mom, from day one, loved me, showed me. She loved me, called me every single day, every day she did not miss a day almost and up until the day she passed. And Granny, Father, same way. I love him to death. So I still miss them to this day, like, you know, they just left yesterday, you know what I mean? So, you know, in the meantime, we just gonna raise the kids. We don't deal with the present. That's what I have to face. Is the present all the time. So I'm like, one moment at a time. You know, it's some things that I can come up and tell you, maybe in 10 minutes that I didn't think about 10 minutes earlier? Yes,
Unknown Speaker 19:41
sure, because I have been, I mean, how do you condense it in 30 minutes? Yeah, I've
Unknown Speaker 19:45
been moving forward so fast. I just been moving forward. I got two kids, two young kids that really need mom and
Zandra Polard 19:52
dad right now. And you also have an older son. Let's give a shout out to my 27 year old, Isaiah. Malik always picks up the name i. Isaiah and Isaac, that's right, Isaiah Malik, who has been on the show before. That's right, when I was on a previous radio station. But you can always find all my videos on it's where I am.com, I have a YouTube channel. It'll connect you right to the channel and find my very talented cousin. Isaiah Lee is a rap artist. Yes,
Unknown Speaker 20:25
I love him to death. He's an artist without a doubt. You know, I don't even know if I can define him as a rap artist, because he does so many amazing things. He creates a clothing line. You know, he does. He has genius company. The only genius company is called, he created a covid line called sober, which I really love. The kids are really wearing that right now, and I gotta check it out. I
Unknown Speaker 20:47
haven't talked to him in a while, right? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 20:50
you know, all my kids, you know, they, they've been advocated to be entrepreneurs and think for themselves, you know, yeah, you have to do things fundamentally. You have to be have discipline. You know, I want my kids, you know, you know, we was already behind the grain. So yeah, if you can go to college, please do that. You know what I mean, because there's really nothing else to do at 18. Go over there and do that, unless some maybe want to go to the military. I don't know what you want to do, but right now, I just need you to do something. You know, better than doing nothing and thinking for yourself as a start. So I always try to teach my kids to think for themselves early. And you know, I'm proud of my kids. Like my 27 year old, he's amazing at what he does. He's in Dallas. He's independent, living his life and not asking nobody for nothing. So it's all good. And my two youngest kids look like they fall on that same path. So, you know that's, that's what we want our kids to be good. We want our kids to be better than us, and just greatness all around Yeah. And you
Zandra Polard 21:53
know, what's so amazing is, although you didn't grow up around us, that gene pool is so strong, that Bullard gene strong. I mean, wow. Just looking in your eyes, I see a mother, yeah, you know what? I mean, some of the mannerisms, it's amazing. I never met your father. But
Unknown Speaker 22:12
Right, right. Let me, you know, up there, you know, you're from LA. And then let me Jones, y'all,
Zandra Polard 22:20
yeah, and you are limy Jones, the third Yeah. All right, I want to thank you again for coming in and sharing your personal testimony, also exposing us to dream dads absolutely so that you are in support, and you can receive support from Dream dads, and you can just Google that, and it'll come out right on up for
Unknown Speaker 22:43
you. That's right. And you know, Dad, just make sure y'all taking care of y'all kids. That's all the support we need. We appreciate that. You know, it's most important. And you
Zandra Polard 22:50
know what you mentioned, something else you mentioned about for those who have been adopted, for the parents to take on the responsibility of letting the child know at some point, whenever you deem you know it's necessary for them to know little by little in some kind of way, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 23:17
instead of surprising them with the tactics that You raise them with anyway, because every parent has tactics, even if it's your kid, you have a tactic on raising your kid. And why not just tell the truth and let that be a tactic along the way so it gives kids more secure feelings about what's going on with parenthood, what's going on with childhood, you know, because the child is gonna love who was there for him anyway. It didn't take away who was there for me anyway, right? It only took away time for me to figure out who I really am, yeah, so that was the issue. So this is where I am, where we're all, you know, the moments that I
Zandra Polard 23:57
live in? You know it's crazy that, um, your testimony is also maybe one for my children's sibling, right? They have I was in a previous marriage, and my husband, at the time, had a child with another woman, right? And the baby was adopted. My kids are trying to find him, right? I can't help you, right? You know what I'm saying? I don't what can I do? It's not a part of my DNA, right? But, you know, all I can say is, like you, you know, at that ancestry.com is a powerful thing, because that's how you found us.
Unknown Speaker 24:42
That is how I found, yeah, the majority found, that's not really how I found. Y'all found y'all from a lady I call her Angel, and she called my phone one day with all the information I need, and she did that at the kindness of our heart. And this is why i. Paved the way forward. You know, for I knew I had to speak on things like this, because she really dropped a little little message on me and told me who my family was. But you also did ancestry,
Zandra Polard 25:15
doctor, yes, I did after that. And so the reason why I say that again is because the only advice I can give my children is maybe try ancestry.com and maybe you will find your brother. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 25:28
you might find a brother you never knew you were, you know, but look ancestry.com, really did open up a lot of information. It proved a lot of things that you know that's the truth. Like, you know, a lot of people didn't want to give up their DNA, but you gave up your DNA at birth anyway, especially with the five numbers you have on your social security cards. It don't matter. Yeah, it's like, Hey, man, go find your family, you know.
Zandra Polard 25:54
And I really hope you know for my kids that they find their brother one day, right?
Unknown Speaker 25:59
They will, they will, you know, continue to help them advocate towards that, because they need all the support they can get. It's important to have to fill in the gaps of Miss feelings. You know what I'm saying, it could have easily went left for me. You know, if I didn't have loved ones around me to help me fill in some of these gaps, without a doubt.
Zandra Polard 26:20
Hey, love what you're doing. Lim, because from now on, it's just Lemmy. That's right. Yeah, I'm dropping the Brian. I just want to clarify. That's right. Dream dads, right? Is found by Brian Hagans. That's
Unknown Speaker 26:32
right. Dream Dave, yeah, I guess you could say that. But dream Dave, to me, is found by all the Dave that put this thing together.
Zandra Polard 26:38
But you're the founder, and I'm saying if the name Brian Hagans pops up, they'll be like, where's Lemmy? You know what I mean? Like, have you thought about changing your name?
Unknown Speaker 26:45
I did. You know me and my mom talked about that plenty of times. And, you know, I just it, just something I haven't I haven't defined doing yet. Yes, because you've been Brian your whole life, I've been brought in my whole life. And, you know, out of respect to my adopted father, man, he did so many amazing things for me in my life. Yeah, you know. So he taught me how to be a man. He taught, you know, he was part of the reason why I didn't follow, no, you know, guys in the hood like I thought they was all that because I had him. You know, he was already my OG, you know what I'm saying. So, you know, out of respect for him, I always hold certain solid, you know, names and things like that, close to me. So that's cool on that level. But yes, Lim is my name.
Unknown Speaker 27:35
Well, that's right, wow. Aka
Unknown Speaker 27:39
baby rich.
Zandra Polard 27:41
So you want to give out any shout outs before I let you go? Shout
Unknown Speaker 27:44
out to the whole city of Long Beach, you know, if it wasn't no them, it'd be no me, you know, just like that. Shout out to all my mentors, you know. Shout out to my real family, who made me feel like I never missed a day with them. Every single one of them shout out to my beautiful, amazing wife, who's helped me now for over two generations. You know what I'm saying, we have three beautiful kids, and we gonna keep moving in that way. You know what I'm saying? She's done so much, and we're gonna continue to do this thing together. And, you know, just shout out to everybody, shout out even to my doctor family, who was authentic with me after this as well. You know what I mean, it's not easy to transition, you know, feelings, you know, knowing that it can get a little crazy, you know what I mean. But hey, we're here, and I love everyone,
Zandra Polard 28:41
all right, and I love you too, and I want to thank 91.5 jazz and more for giving me the show. It's where I am, so that we can bring personal testimonies out like this. Let's go. I didn't even realize that I was connected, or my family was connected in some way to the story, right? But we are, hey, yeah, communication is important, and I want to thank you all for listening. I'm Sandra Pollard. I'll be here next week, every Saturday at seven. It's Ryan. You
Transcribed by https://otter.ai