For Real: Life, Leadership, & Unlearning

Today we welcome Sara Abernethy, a performer-turned-hospitalitarian who's navigating the challenges of burnout, motherhood, and partnership struggles.

This conversation isn't just about business; it's about what happens behind the scenes. Sara gets candid about the identity shifts of being in the wrong role, the toll it takes when business and marriage collide, and the resilience it requires to step back, reimagine, and pursue joy again.

If you've ever questioned whether the version of success you built is actually what you want, this episode gives you both the permission and the perspective to redefine it.

In this episode, you'll learn about:
  • Sara's journey from opera singer to restaurant owner and what it taught her about roles and identity.
  • The painful reality of outgrowing a version of success you once chased.
  • Why chasing "hard" as an entrepreneur can mask the ahas you need to hear.
  • The surprising role that motherhood played in her "midlife awakening."
  • Sara's rock-bottom moment and the powerful practice of asking, "What are we tolerating?"
  • A step-by-step guide to "The Work" by Byron Katie, and how it helped Sara process resentment and find clarity in her relationship.
  • How to pursue joy and delight in "tiny morsels" of your everyday life.
  • The simple daily mantra that can help you find a sense of peace and pride in yourself.
Episode Timestamps:
  • 00:00:00 – Acknowledging that the life you built might not be what you want.
  • 00:02:00 – Sara's journey: from performer to hospitalitarian and entrepreneurship.
  • 00:05:00 – The identity shift from restaurant operator to CEO and the challenges it created.
  • 00:09:00 – Hitting a breaking point and feeling like a "huge failure."
  • 00:10:00 – How motherhood provided a necessary pause and led to an important realization.
  • 00:15:00 – The struggle of constant ideas and discerning between joy and survival.
  • 00:18:00 – A rock-bottom moment with her husband and facing the potential "fork in the road."
  • 00:22:00 – Processing resentment and using "The Work" to find a path forward.
  • 00:25:00 – Ascending to "founder land" and embracing the pursuit of joy.
  • 00:27:00 – The power of "her seat at the table" and the vulnerability of shared stories.
  • 00:36:00 – A final message: Why not everything you do has to be productive.
  • 00:38:00 – What Sara is most proud of in this season of her life.
About Sara Abernethy:  
Local to North Carolina? Visit Sara's Restaurants: Wye Hill Kitchen and Brewing & Glasshouse Kitchen

Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

For Real on Social Media: 
Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

Creators and Guests

Host
Megan Gillikin
Wedding Industry Coach + Founder of The Planner's Vault
Producer
Jason Gillikin
CEO and Executive Producer at Earfluence

What is For Real: Life, Leadership, & Unlearning?

For Real is a top 1% podcast for high-achievers who look successful on paper but feel like they’re one group text away from burning it all down. Hosted by Megan Gillikin - serial entrepreneur, business coach, keynote speaker, and recovering people pleaser - this show explores burnout, boundaries, identity shifts, and the brave act of unlearning who you thought you had to be.

With unfiltered conversations, “I thought it was just me” moments, and just enough humor to keep it from feeling like group therapy, For Real is your permission slip to evolve.

Formerly Weddings for Real - and glow-ups look good on us.

Megan: Welcome back to For Real, a podcast about life, leadership, and unlearning. You're listening to episode 324, and I'm your host, Megan Gillikin. Whether you're a first-time listener or you've been with us for a while now, I just want to say a heartfelt thank you for being here, for tuning in, for showing up. I know that this episode is going to resonate deeply with you. This podcast is where we get to unpack the real stuff: the unraveling, the rebuilding, and the unlearning that it takes to live and build a business in a way that actually feels good. So, in today's episode, we're digging into some big themes. We'll talk a little bit about burnout, motherhood, partnership struggles, and what it really looks like to outgrow the version of success that you once chased. If you've ever questioned whether what you built is actually what you want, today's episode will give you both permission and perspective to rethink it. Let's dive in.

You are listening to For Real, the podcast where we get honest about life, leadership, and unlearning all the outdated beliefs that are holding you back. I'm your host, Megan Gillikin. I'm a serial entrepreneur, speaker, business coach, recovering people-pleaser, and your unfiltered guide through the messy middle of growth, the part that nobody posts about on social media. Inside each episode, we dive into the habits, mindset shifts, and hard-earned lessons that help you build a life and a career you actually want while letting go of everything that no longer serves you. Around here, we ditch perfection. We talk boundaries, burnout, breakthroughs, and we call out the BS that keeps you playing small. So if you're craving deeper conversations, much-needed relatability, and full permission to evolve into your next level, you're in the right place.

My guest today is Sara Abernethy, a performer-turned-hospitalitarian. I love that word, whose journey is anything but linear. She began her career as a professional opera singer before moving into nonprofit fundraising and eventually stepping into entrepreneurship alongside her husband. Together, they took over one of the most iconic spaces here in Raleigh, North Carolina, where I'm based, and transformed it into Y Hill Kitchen and Brewing. Later, they expanded and opened their second restaurant, Glass House Kitchen. My conversation with Sara is not about building restaurants. It's about what happens behind the scenes: the identity shifts of stepping into the wrong role, the toll on a marriage when business and partnership collide, and the resilience it takes to step back, reimagine, and pursue joy again. Sara is such a fun guest, and she also keeps it so real in sharing about her own unlearning journey from CEO burnout to founder clarity. She also talks about motherhood and that midlife awakening and what redefining success actually looks like when the life you've built no longer fits. So without further ado, here's Sara.

Sara: As you evolve into the next era of yourself and the next layers of yourself, your definition of success can shift and change. In my case, I'm so glad that it did, but at the time, 2018, I was still working a full-time sales job from nine to five during the week, and I would go in from like five to ten or whatever to help Chris every single day. I think a lot of people don't know that. I worked full-time for three years while we... the first three years we were open, because as there was capital, it was a very creative solution so we had to eat. At the time, I was so excited to take this Raleigh landmark and give it some love and level it up to what I felt Raleigh, my hometown, deserved in that spot. It was interesting because at the time when we were doing it, I was so caught up in the excitement and the romance of building this own space that I don't think I really had an idea of what success would look like or what "done" looks like, which is something I really do now: "What does done look like in the next iteration of things?" And then something I've come to really marinate on is, "What does our exit look like as success? What does our exit look like?" Because most entrepreneurial stories that you hear and read, there's an exit at some point, and the initial founder sort of ascends into "founder land." I would say, Megan, that that is where I'm sitting today. I have gone from sort of a concept brain to restaurant operator, and for many years just sort of wove in and out of general manager, fill-in-whatever-operations-role-was-needed-at-the-time, marketing director, creative director. For a time I was the CEO of our restaurant company, which was a terrible time. It was a terrible fit for me, and I really thought it was going to be the right fit, but I really struggled in that role. There were a number of reasons why, but the real underlying fracture line was, my husband and I just were not clear with each other on our roles in our shared business.

Megan: Hmm.

Sara: I think that's very, very, very common.

Megan: Yeah.

Sara: But the truth of the matter is, Chris is the CEO. Chris is the final decision-maker on all matters within the business, and that is how it should be. That's where everything is going to function at its best, but it just took us so many years of head-bashing against the wall to figure that out and being in the wrong seat at the wrong time to figure that out.

Megan: Yeah. It's interesting because as entrepreneurs, you spoke to it already, we're used to wearing so many hats. We're used to stepping up when something is needed or something is missing and we shapeshift and we adapt into the roles that we need to play. But I think it can be easy to miss when the role that we're playing, or the space that we've found ourselves in, is not working. It's not working because we kind of absorb that as, "Well, that's the life of being an entrepreneur. It's hard, it's exhausting, you're wearing so many hats, you're doing so many things." It's an interesting thing to really sit with the fact that if you're able to... this is so difficult to do, I know this as an entrepreneur... but if you're able to pull back from that hustle and that go-go-go, the day-to-day, like paying the bills, keeping the lights on, making sure that payroll happens... when you're able to pull back from that, the "ahas" come. The "ahas" of, "Oh my gosh, I've been playing this role that is not good for my partnership in my business, it's also not good for my marriage as well." I think sometimes as small business owners, we can miss those clues and sometimes that results in deep, deep burnout, running a business into the ground, or destroying a relationship. Yeah.

Sara: Yes. I think when things get hard, it's easy to be like, "Well, I signed up for this. Of course it's hard."

Megan: Mm-hmm.

Sara: It doesn't actually always have to be.

Megan: Mm-hmm.

Sara: It really doesn't have to be. When things are painful, it should be alerting you to, "Hey, this is no longer working. This needs addressing." We can't just push, push, push and expect a different outcome. If this is really, really painful, the body is a great metaphor for that. It results in injury that is sometimes repairable and sometimes not. Gosh, I just like to say so many things about this. It was hard, it was exceptionally hard for me to recognize that I was in the wrong seat, and I spent quite a bit of time feeling like a huge failure. I just felt like a huge failure, and imposter syndrome has been a thing throughout this journey. But I mean, it was like years that I'm like, "I'm in this role of CEO, and I am not good at it, and I'm failing at it." And I have to go into the buildings every day and put on this professional face like I have my shit together when I'm flailing and my home life is really tense. To your point about it takes a moment sometimes to step back and realize that you can make a different choice or you can change course.

Megan: What did that look like for you?

Sara: For me, in this journey, it really has been the birth of my two children that has facilitated that. It wasn't like a break. As any mother knows, it's definitely not a break, but it was a pause from the day-to-day grind of the business. I did intentionally work myself out of a job both times, but both times I realized what a Frankenstein my role had become. I was like, I had my hands in this function and then had another hand in this function and this function and this, all over the place. That was a big realization of, "Well, of course you feel like you're bad at everything because you're involved in too many wheels to move anything forward effectively." "You probably do suck at some things. You could be better if you just had a clearer focus." Being with Joey, with my first in 2022, that was the same year we opened our second location, Glasshouse Kitchen, and I just don't remember that year. I just don't remember it because I was trying to be involved in the essential team building of that opening team at Glasshouse Kitchen as sort of a presence and a culture tone-setter. Then I was also trying to "enjoy" in quotations, the early days of motherhood. There are things to enjoy, but sometimes, Megan, it just fucking sucks. It just... oh my gosh, that first year of being a mom. Yes, there are precious moments.

Megan: Yeah.

Sara: But I kept hearing from all sides from people, "Enjoy this time." I'm like, "What if I..."

Megan: I felt that way too. I was... I had postpartum anxiety, and on top of that, then you get the messages of "Don't blink. The days are long, but the years are short." You get all these messages from mostly women that are well-meaning, but it adds to the anxiety and the overwhelm and the shame and the guilt and the, "I'm not... why am I not enjoying it? What's wrong with me?"

Sara: I read this great quote recently that was, "These early years of mothering are a marathon to be endured that is sweet to remember." Yeah, that feels right.

Megan: It's almost like that whiplash, right? There's the success version and the hustle and the drive that built the businesses that you have. Then there's this shifting gears into, "Okay, now we're slowing down." But then you feel this drive to create something else, because I think there's something to be said for visionary entrepreneurs. We can slow it down, but then we're... there's always ideas. There's always things. I was looking at your LinkedIn this morning, and I see you've tackled another fun project, because you have all the time and capacity to do so, right? No, it's because there's so...

Sara: I joke that it's my toxic trait. I am an idea monster. I just can't help it. It is both my greatest asset and my greatest toy bowl, because it really can turn into shiny-object syndrome. But then sometimes I have to... I am really sad if I have nothing to put my energy into that has some kind of momentum. The project that I think you're referring to, Megan, is I have launched a holiday entertainment group. I love it. Sleigh. And the vibe is Mr. Claus meets Marilyn Monroe meets the Andrew Sisters. And listen, I've had this in my head as a musician for ten years. For ten years, I have had this in my idea bank, and the reason why it's so perfect for me right now is because it has a very limited season. There are six weeks that this group can be booked per year. So it's the perfect part-time vocation for me that uses my musical, my theater skills, my business skills, and my sales skills. It's part-time, and it's so fun. It's been so wonderful to feel like, "You know what? I don't have to apologize for pursuing joy."

Megan: Yes, yeah. I love that. Sara, I'm thinking about someone that's listening to this, someone that is relating to that idea of success and what they thought it was. Maybe they're in a partnership, maybe they're a solopreneur, maybe they're a parent, maybe they're not. But the idea of what it looks like to get to a place where you've outgrown the version of success or the version of yourself that you related to at one point, but now there's something else. I would be curious to dig into the idea of how do you... because you spoke to this concept of ideas, you have all these ideas. How do you know when an idea is something that could be joy-filled, something that could bring you this joy, or it's in a place of survival mode and you're burned out, you're tired, and you think this next thing is the thing that is going to get you out of that space? How do you wrestle with constant ideas? Constant excitement over what could be, but then also figuring out the bandwidth and capacity? I'd love to hear your take on that.

Sara: I do have a Trello board where I at least catch all of these ideas and write them down.

Megan: Mine's a note on my phone.

Sara: Yes. If you don't have a system for this, I highly recommend... I like Trello because it's a list of lists, and so I can have my categories of "music," "wine," "food," whatever. Just as they come in, I can just jot them down quickly and so I won't lose them. I think a lot of times we feel like we have to jump on a bandwagon because we're afraid we're going to lose the idea if we don't start right away. In the last two years, it was like really 2023 where I was like, "I am broken, and I am lost, and I'm a fake because I have to put on this hat and go in every day and look people in the face and be in charge."

Megan: Mm-hmm.

Sara: This is not working. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, and I don't know how this is going to turn out. So really since that turning point, it did come to a very dramatic head in 2024.

Megan: Would you share that?

Sara: Yeah. I knew that I wanted to add another team member to our family and I wanted to pursue that, but I did not like my partner.

Megan: I think we've all had those moments, right? There's seasons of that.

Sara: I love him, but I really don't like him. We could not, when I say we could not talk about anything, Megan, we could not talk about anything without it just boiling over into this unnecessary, heated discussion. I was definitely not an angel. I mean, it was fifty-fifty. I contributed to it as well. But I just really felt like I was not being heard over and over and over again. I was not being heard. There were many examples of being in a meeting with our staff members and being dismissed, embarrassed. That was real.

Megan: Mm.

Sara: My reaction to that had been to clap back. My clapping back was really not healthy. It was shutting down. I wasn't listening. No one was listening on either side.

Megan: Walls on both sides.

Sara: It was walls. Then, after several months of that dynamic, we just stopped talking, period. We stopped talking. Stopped telling each other things. Sometimes it was okay to keep each other out of the loop, but then sometimes it was really problematic. There were things that both of us needed to be aware of. It was difficult on the team because it sort of became this, almost like, "good cop, bad cop" or "mom and dad" dynamic that they... it was very stressful.

Megan: Were there moments where you were like, "I don't think we're going to make it through this"?

Sara: There were moments where I felt like, "This is the fork in the road, and if something doesn't change, I know what that path looks like." So I decided that the moment was... Chris was painting the deck and just handed me a bunch of paint samples, saying no words, a bunch of paint samples, and was like, "Choose one." I'm like, "I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what kind of paint this is. What is the context? I can't." Then I said something like, "Could I have a little more information?" My in-laws were even in from California, tweaking things on the patio. I ended up just taking the pieces of paper and just throwing them on the ground and stamping my foot like a toddler and saying, "You know what? You f--king do it," and walked out of the restaurant and sat in my car and cried so hard. Screaming, toddler-meltdown level of crying.

Megan: Yeah.

Sara: I just could not take one more second of feeling unheard and like my input didn't matter and that I was supposed to know everything. But I'm just like, "This, I cannot do it anymore. I cannot do it anymore. This is not working." At the same time, the other competing truth is that I really resent that I'm the one that had to vent, and I'm the one that had to change, and I had to give up in quotes. I feel like it's really unfair because then I also had to bear the burden of literally bearing the baby. I'm so glad he's here and he's wonderful. He's beautiful. No regrets. I love that little angel. But I really am wrestling with, "Why did I have to be the one to make that sacrifice?"

Megan: I get that. What do you do with that, I guess, is the question, because I've been in similar but different seasons of hard. Sometimes when you get to that place with your partner where it feels like a wall, you cannot break through. What do you do? My question is, what do you do with that resentment that is there, that needs to be processed? I guess maybe you take that to therapy.

Sara: That is one avenue. Therapy did not really work in our case, unfortunately. It really works for me as an individual, but it didn't really work for us as a unit. I read this ten years ago and reread it again. There's a wonderful book by Byron Katie called "The Work."

Megan: I'm writing this down.

Sara: The Work is essentially four questions that help you bear the weight of stressful thoughts and emotions. They are... so when I say, "Chris doesn't listen to me," that's the work. The first question is, "Is that true?" The second question is, "Can you be absolutely sure that it's true?" The third question is, "Who would I be without that thought or emotion?" And the fourth is, "Can you find an example of turning it around?" The turnaround could be, "I don't listen to Chris," or "I don't listen to me." I did find that I was giving away a lot of my power externally, and there were a lot of situations where I was not listening to Chris. There were a lot of situations where I was not listening to me. So I took all of this resentment. I did a lot of journaling, and I went through these four questions with all of these emotions, and it really helped me sort through it all, but also see certain things through Chris's lens. See moments where I was absolutely coming in and steamrolling. If he had done that to me, it would not have been appreciated, and I probably would've closed up like a clam, too. It helped me make peace with that. As a result, I am in this role within the restaurants of founder. I have ascended to "founder land." That is the happy ending of the story, and that is the highest and best use of me, Megan. The highest and best use of me is to be a face worker, to be a public-relations generator, ensuring that the vibes are right, the cheerleader, to have no part in day-to-day operations, which I don't have capacity for anyway.

Megan: I think it's a mental-health growth area for you. It's interesting because that shift, even in the place that you're at right now, still navigating life with two small children, that shift has obviously opened up something in you that allows that creativity and that pursuit of joy to come back.

Sara: It has been a pipe dream.

Megan: Mm-hmm.

Sara: There have been so many times in my life leading up until now where I thought, "Well, if I didn't have a nine-to-five, what would I do with my time?"

Megan: Mm-hmm.

Sara: And now that is all relative because the time now is really dependent on, "When do I have childcare?" But I can happily triumphantly say to you, "I'm doing it. I'm doing it. What would I do with my time if I didn't have a nine-to-five?" I'm spending time with my children. I'm a cheerleader for our restaurants. I'm pursuing this conversation series with women in hospitality called "Her Seat at the Table," which is where we met. I'm going to pursue that, and I'm going to pursue this holiday entertainment singing group. There is room in my life right now to braid all of those things together. And it is... you want to talk about success? This is it. Does it get any better? Could we have more sleep and more rest? Yes. But there's a happy ending to that moment of having a temper tantrum with the paint samples until now.

Megan: It's that reckoning, right? "This isn't working."

Sara: It's a reckoning. Oprah says, "Your life is always speaking to you, and when you don't listen, it kind of has to smack you around a little bit to get your attention."

Megan: Oh, I want to talk about this "Her Seat at the Table" series, because this is where we met and I was in the room. I was listening to you, I was listening to these other women tell these stories, similar stories of failure, of self-doubt, of imposter syndrome, of burnout, of falling out of love with what they built and then not yet knowing what comes next. I think it's one of the most beautiful things that has come from where we are today with technology and connection, is that we get to have conversations like this. We've created this vulnerability. We've shifted away, thankfully, from the social media that is just the highlight reel of life, and we're having honest conversations in person and podcasts on stages where we're sharing that it's really hard, and that no one, not one single person, not one single woman has figured it all out. There's no "made it" stage in your career. I think that that was a lie that I told myself early on: "When I open a venue, when I get this stage opportunity, when I make X amount of money, then my troubles will melt away and I will have made it." That was a lie. The honesty and authentic conversations that I get to have with other women, I think that continues to quiet my inner critic. It soothes that perfectionist and people-pleaser in me because I realize, "Oh my gosh, we're all navigating these journeys of hard. We're all figuring out that who we thought we were is no longer who we want to be, and we have the power to sit with it and make these changes." Tell me a little bit about where the idea came from for "Her Seat at the Table" and what you see this turning into.

Sara: I could not have described it more acutely what you just said. This, "ooy-gooey" middle of, "I have grown out of who I thought I would become, and I'm sitting in it, and I do not know what to do." So when I was trying to figure out what unwinding myself would mean from CEO into "founder land," and then I did, fortunately, blessedly, become pregnant with our second child, it was very scary. I don't know what my role in the business is going to be. I don't know if there's going to be a role in the business for me. "I cannot be the only person that's ever experienced this." I did seek counsel from other women in the industry, and we are so fortunate in the Triangle area to have a really significant number of women leaders in hospitality. It's very rare and very special. I was seeking out these conversations, and I just thought, "I am sure that there are other women out there who would benefit from hearing this." I've been looking for... I love listening to podcasts. I love audio content, and I've been looking for this sort of "Super Soul Sunday for Restaurants for Women" podcast content in the ether, and I could not find it. Y'all, if you know about it, please DM me. I want to know. But I saw a lot of spaces for restaurants where men were dominating the conversation. Not that those were bad, it just wasn't the material I was really looking for. Again, I sort of got this little tingly, "The universe is asking me to dance" kind of vibe of, "Well, maybe you get to build the stage if this isn't a thing." I really do feel like so many women are out there, particularly partnered up with spouses who are navigating the exact same thing, and who feel like they're the only one, and they're not. So I thought, "What if I recorded a few of these conversations and just put them out there?" I did call it a "conversation series" because I was very hesitant to label it a podcast.

Megan: You're like, "Maybe I don't want to take this on."

Sara: Yeah. I didn't know if I wanted to take on this large commitment that didn't have an end. I liked it being bite-sized, so I could test it and try it on and see, "Do I like it? If not, no problem. It's great content. It's certainly valuable for whoever comes upon it. If I do like it, I can choose to continue." Megan, I loved it. I loved it. I put five, and I am committed to doing more. I've told myself I'm going to produce two full seasons of "Her Seat at the Table."

Megan: I love it.

Sara: This will be a podcast focusing on women's stories and experiences in hospitality. It's an underserved community in this realm. We'll see what happens.

Megan: I can't wait.

Sara: "Her Seat at the Table" will come back in 2026, and we'll take it from there.

Megan: I love it so much. Sara, we've talked about a lot, and there's two questions that come up for me that are these final things that I definitely want to close the loop on. One is, primarily, my audience is women business owners. I'm curious if you have their ear right now, and they resonate with this message of a season of unraveling and a season of figuring out what comes next. Again, we know the dynamics may be different for each person listening. Is there any through-line message that you feel is important to share with them, or a real takeaway from what we've covered here today that we want to put a spotlight on? You can give me more than one.

Sara: There's so many. I mean, therapy. Therapy. Therapy. I'll second that. I'll third that.

Megan: I fourth that.

Sara: Yes. Without therapy, a lot of this internal discovery would not have been possible. It is so healthy and helpful to out-loud process all of this stuff with someone else witnessing it, especially if it's a licensed professional. But to that point, I think a lot of women feel very, very frozen and stuck because they feel alone and they feel trapped. I just want them to know how common this experience is. It is so common. That's what I've learned. It happens all the time. It might not be an over-reach to say it happens to every entrepreneur ever.

Megan: It's not a one-time thing, either.

Sara: It's not a one-and-done thing. So I hope that knowing that you're not alone, that that is so common, helps you feel a little more human and a little less frozen moving through something like that. Finding joy and delight, tiny morsels, a tiny morsel at a time. You don't have to go to a spa in Plume. Just little daily moments of sparkle for no other reason than because they delight you are essential for putting one foot in front of the other through this time. A lot of those for me: driving windows down, Backstreet Boys, full volume scream-singing.

Megan: Mm.

Sara: Love that.

Megan: Yeah.

Sara: Wearing a bright color. I love a bright color. Even lighting a candle. Nice hand lotion. Just very small moments of delight are essential. Gosh, as you're feeling like everything is crushing around you and everything is impossible, and it'll always be impossible.

Megan: I love that so much because I think as high achievers, as entrepreneurs, we're always like, "Is this making me money? Is this productive? Is this showing up for someone?" We need to hear... I mean, I need to hear, you need to hear, the person listening to this needs to hear... "Yes, it can be the little pockets of joy. It can be the good glass of wine that you order. It can be the night out with a friend. It can be sitting outside just because you need some vitamin D for five minutes, listening to the birds." It can be just small pockets.

Sara: Not everything you do has to be productive. Not every single little thing you do has to be in pursuit of a higher goal. It's so hard. It's like, "rich" coming from me, but it's so true. I think you get caught in this trap of, "Well, when I get to the whatever, when I get to the venue, then I'll treat myself." "When I get to this next level of success, then I will allow myself that moment to breathe." But it doesn't work like that. You have to integrate it now. You have to integrate it now because there is no arrival into that moment.

Megan: I love it. My final question for you is, in this season, what are you most proud of?

Sara: Oh, such a good question. We should all be thinking about this all the time. One of my daily rituals because my three-year-old is a three-year-old is in a big girl bed now, and guess what? When you take them out of a crib and put them in a big-kid bed, they can get out. I read her a story. I cover her up. I put her to bed, and I do give her a couple of back rubs as she settles down. While I do that, I will walk myself through the following mantra: "I am a great mom. I'm doing a great job. I have great children, and I love my strong, powerful body." I say that to myself every single night. I love it. I am most proud... I think the thing I'm really most proud of is my strong, beautiful body that created these little people and nurtured them and sustained them, and still sustains them and sustains me. I'm saying this out loud because I'm getting to know my new body all over again. I'm very proud of her, and I want to speak some love to her.

Megan: I love it so much. I've felt this conversation. I've felt the realness. I have so appreciated that you'll answer the hard questions and you'll share the things that you don't necessarily have all figured out, but there's so much growth and beauty there. I know that someone listening to this is going to feel less alone and less overwhelmed because we are all navigating our own journey of, "What do we want? What feels good? What does 'success' look like, and how different can it look now versus what it was five, ten, fifteen years ago?" Thank you.

Sara: Thank you. Such important work that you're doing, and thank you for making the space to do this.

Megan: Yes, thank you, Sara. Thank you. As you're sitting with today's conversation, I want you to ask yourself, "Where have I outgrown a version of success that once I was chasing, and it defined me?" or "What roles am I still holding onto that no longer fit?" Sara's story is such a powerful reminder that we all hit those seasons of unraveling, and it doesn't mean that you failed. It means that you're being invited to rewrite what your next moves are. If you'd like to connect with Sara, you can find her on Instagram at @sara.abernethy. You can also check out her holiday singing group, The Sleigh Bells, by checking the link in the show notes. Or listen to her podcast, "Her Seat at the Table," wherever you get your shows. If you're local to North Carolina, don't miss her two amazing restaurants, Y Hill Kitchen and Brewing in downtown Raleigh and Glasshouse Kitchen in Research Triangle Park. All of those links are waiting for you in the show notes, my friend. As always, thank you so much for listening and sharing this show with the women in your life who might need it. If this episode resonated with you, take a quick moment to leave a review or tag me on Instagram with your biggest takeaway. I love hearing what lands with you. Until next time, keep growing, keep unlearning, and keep choosing yourself. For real.