#41 Hot Baths & Hard Truths about Sustaining Your Business by Refusing to Neglect YOU

Show Notes

In this episode, Steph pulls back the curtain on the most overlooked growth strategy in your business: you.

If this episode hit, here’s where to go next:

1. ✉️ Get on Steph’s email list because it's the real real about life & business in a way that you can actually absorb & implement like all the time:

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   https://www.stephrubio.com/your-terrifying-vision

After powerful conversations at Power Table Live, one truth kept surfacing—most women are building businesses that rely on them… while completely neglecting themselves. Steph breaks down what it actually looks like to treat yourself as a stakeholder in your business, why “self-care” isn’t fluffy—it’s foundational—and how prioritizing yourself directly impacts your revenue, relationships, and long-term sustainability.

This is the episode that will challenge how you think about productivity, success, and what it really means to build a business that lasts.

Key Takeaways

1. Why your reputation = your revenue (and how your experience shapes both)
2. The concept of stakeholder experience—and why you belong in that category
3. How neglecting yourself quietly sabotages your business growth
4. Why 30 minutes a day can radically change your life (and business)
5. The real reason you struggle to prioritize yourself (hint: it’s not time)
6. How to communicate your needs without guilt—and actually stick to them
7. Why boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re protective

Memorable Moments

“Your reputation is your revenue.”

“If you can’t sustain, the business can’t sustain.”

“I give my kids what they need 23 and a half hours a day. The other 30 minutes? That’s mine.”

“Boundaries aren’t the point. They protect what you value.”

“You’re not lacking time—you’re lacking permission.”

What is Rooted & Relentless?

Rooted & Relentless is the business strategy podcast for entrepreneurs building service-based businesses designed to grow, adapt, and last. Business strategist Steph Rubio shares practical guidance on a range of topics meant to help you sell, scale, and stabilize.
Think sustainable business growth, revenue strategy, systems, capacity, client experience, and the founder leadership required to turn your skills into a successful, sustainable company.

Steph Rubio: Well, that's a wrap on this episode of Rooted and Relentless. If it made you laugh, nod alone, or grab that cute little notebook of yours and scribble something down, hit me with the SSR, subscribe, share, and review. As in, leave a review. Thanks for hanging. Bye. What's up party people? ⁓ Welcome back to another episode of Rooted and Relentless, unless this is first episode, in which case welcome to the shit show. It's not that I'm well together. Everything's perfect all the time. No, I do have a knack actually for being on top. of all the things. least that's what people, mean, it's true to some extent. Doesn't mean I'm not spiraling sometimes. ⁓ like, ⁓ my God, I forgot that like we need this specific shirt for dance or something like that for the kids and I gotta get it. But ⁓ ⁓ are actually very intrigued by how I do all the things all the time. And I'm sorry to spoil or you want to vomit ⁓ if creative and tell you that it's systems. and its workflows and its reminders. And it's just a keen eye for all the details, not in a creative way. You know what I mean? ⁓ I'm going off the rails a little bit here and ⁓ just meeting the moment. I had a lot of ⁓ impactful freaking conversations at power table live last And want to talk about it at least like what in one segment of it because it was days of good conversations and things that kept circling back when I felt a theme and then the theme also ties into what I exactly I talked about at power table live. I'm like, well guess what we're going to do. We're going to talk about on the podcast. So at power table live I shared for the first time from the stage this concept I've been talking about for months on the podcast, which is stakeholder experience. and it's taking what you think you know about client experience and you probably still don't know enough of on how to truly lean on it as a pillar, as a strategy of growth for your business and how you use systems to make sure it's possible and sustainable and that way of that proportion. making folks understand or helping them understand that it's way more than just our clients who can serve our ecosystem and feed this business for us, right? If we give them a great experience is also your collaborators, people that you collaborate with. It's also your biz buddies, people who you have not collaborated with or worked with, but like have met you in rooms or come to understand just through chats and the DM and a relationship. It's like budding business relationship you have, right? And they probably turn into collaborators. or a client, but it's like not at this point in time. Sometimes my collaborations are stacked. I have to say no right now or whatever, but there's something there and you support each other. Your team absolutely is a stakeholder to the success of your business and you. And so when I uncovered this concept, if you will, and kind of walked through it, leaning heavily on the client piece that we're all familiar with to help people understand that you can leverage all of these relationships because the experience people have with you forms your reputation. and your reputation is your revenue because you can give them such a drool worthy experience that now they're saying your name and rooms are not in whether they're your client or your collaborator or your business buddy or your team or yourself. Obviously you're saying well you're in the room if you're saying it you get where I'm going. So what want to talk about is actually that you piece today. I already did an episode on all of these which is why it matters to you in your business. That's your strategy. how you can actually do it, that's your tactics, like what you can actually jump in and do about this. And then always bring in like systems. So I'll drop that episode for the you in the show notes of this one. What I wanna do now that I've uncovered this concept and I highly suggest you listen to all of those episodes, yes, because they'll change the way you think about your business. I know that because when I spoke about it at Power Table Live, just for 45 minutes, people have said that exact thing to me. This changed the way I think about my business. And now I've been told, Some of those people are showing up in others communities, masterminding and taking action based on what I said to them, which is crazy cool. But that same night, and then the theme of some conversations throughout the next couple of days were about you, about the you stakeholder, right? Because while the strategy, while the reasoning is still the same, that you take care of yourself, you make sure that you constantly have a great experience and that this whole thing feeds what you need in the life you want. is how you truly make it sustainable because if you can't sustain, then the freaking business can sustain, right? But it's not lost on me and it's not actually shocking to me how many people struggle with that. So what I want to do today is just give you a lot of Stephanie, a lot of the ways that ⁓ do this, but also like my journey to doing so. So ⁓ event last week at one point before I spoke on stage, I stood up in the audience with a microphone because I was asked a question. because one of the speakers had sent us through some prompts and I don't remember what those prompts were but I wrote none or nothing to all of them. It was like, what's that thing you're avoiding or what's that, what is that next version or what is this and what do you need to do to step into that power? Whatever it was and I was like, none, because I'm already doing all of that now. And I realize that that's a unique place to be. If you think of like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I'm not even looking at it. It was like a pyramid. and you can Google it and you start with like baseline needs, right? And people, some people never get to that top of the pyramid, but you start with like, need food and water, you know what I mean? And then you need money, then you need like connections and community and stuff. ⁓ at the top is kind of like, you've made it and promise you in my brain and on my mental health journey, I never feel like I've made it anything anywhere. ⁓ when I sit in rooms like this and I really deep with these prompts and I realized that my answer is none, that I'm doing all of those things right now. for a part of that journey and I remember that a lot of women are not I understand why, then it's ⁓ on heart to dig into and talk about. And so the first thing ⁓ that up when it's like, do you prioritize yourself? The first is the reality is that we don't, even when we convince ourselves we do, right? ⁓ So say things inside of my own community at times when people are struggling. And it's one of the things that I do ⁓ is I a hot bath every single night. That's one thing I do for me. do you prioritize yourself? The first is the reality is that we don't, even when we ourselves we do, right? ⁓ So I'll things inside of my own community at times when people are struggling. And it's one of the things that I do ⁓ is I take a hot bath every single night. That's one thing I do for me. Every single night I take a hot bath. It's my jam. I like to read a book in there if I'm lucky. Sometimes I scroll the TT app. If I want a good laugh that I do not promote my business over there. It's nothing to do my business. It's literally laugh at raunchy humor and fantasy stuff. Okay. And I have my algorithm well trained But regardless of what I'm doing, it like relaxes me, brings me down. It's time for me. ⁓ And when I this to people, it's like you have to prioritize time for yourself. I'll get a lot from Every single night I take a hot bath. It's my jam. I like to read a book in there if I'm lucky. Sometimes I scroll the TT app. If I want a good laugh that I do not promote my business over there. It's nothing to do my business. It's literally laugh at raunchy humor and fantasy stuff. Okay. And I have my algorithm well trained to that. But regardless of what I'm doing, it like relaxes me, brings me down. It's time for me. ⁓ And I say this to people, it's like you have to prioritize time for yourself. I'll get a lot from people, especially women, that's like, I have kids, like I'm a mom. And I'm like, yeah, me too. Me too, I lock them out of the bathroom. Which again, you get that, look for moms like, you do what? Like you don't give your precious little beautiful babies exactly what they need when they need it. I give them what they need 23 and a half hours a day. If I'm only taking that 30 minute bath for myself, right? people, especially women, that's like, I have kids, like I'm a mom. And I'm like, yeah, me too. Me too, I lock them out of the bathroom. Which again, you get that, look for moms like, you do what? Like you don't give your precious little beautiful babies exactly what they need when they need it. I give them what they need 23 and a half hours a day. If I'm only taking that 30 minute bath for myself, right? And that's really where the switch started. I have to trick myself into things sometimes. And I tricked my brain and that was one of the ways I did it was like, listen, there's 24 hours in a day. And if I can't carve out 30 for myself, what the heck? It's my life. Quite literally, my body, my life, my experiences, me, even though I have these other people in it, our default is that those people come first. I will work in my business, baby. I love what I do. love getting in here and working, working. It is my default. Okay? I also will give my kid every freaking snack out of my own hand that they asked for. ⁓ we hopped in the car and I haven't eaten and you've eaten all day, but you want this one granola bar? You got it girl. Our default is to care for these other people, to make sure the household has what it needs, right? So that is going to continue. ⁓ So the first I started taking care of myself was reminding myself that that's all going to happen. It's my default. So caring for myself is not. So last year, 2025, my goal was to put myself first. And again, that's the kind of stuff you say and people are like, ooh, she's selfish. Ooh, she's not a good mom. Ooh, she don't care about her kids. Ooh, whatever. No, hear what I'm saying. I had to trick myself. I'm going to set revenue goals. I'm a strategic planner. Okay. I'm setting revenue goals. I'm setting that new thing I want to launch. I'm having great conversations and targets and all of that. We're doing the normal goals. Why aren't we setting goals for ourselves? If you're burning out, if you don't feel taken care of, if you're not taking 30 minutes a day for something that you love that refills your tank and let's go crazy, then adding 30 more minutes on top of that, then we have a problem. It's not your life. You are in servitude to everything and everyone around you. And so one of the ways I had to do it is just that. was trick myself like this is your life. you deserve 30 minutes. so, back to Power Table Live starting to have this conversation because we were at like cocktail hour and some of the ladies were telling me like how impactful my talk was and how much it meant to them. And they're like, you you mentioned while we were doing the workshop piece and like designing our experience, if we circled you as the stakeholder, we wanted to lean on, we should talk to you. And ⁓ started saying these things, right? you know, yes, I take a hot bath every single night ⁓ and I lock my kids out. And people get shocked when they hear that. It took me a while to get there, this guilt when the kid knocks on the door and they need something. But I have a husband, I have a partner who's their father, right? And one of them was like, husbands, but yeah, they don't get it. And I sat there with that and I was like, you're right, you were right, husbands. But instead of us saying, ha, husbands, and letting that be an excuse, actually... It's the reason why I am empathetic to maybe your brain doesn't work the way mine does. I'm empathetic to my husband years ago. We're rewinding because he does all of the things I need now. Maybe you aren't thinking along the lines of, my God, my wife like serves all things all the time and she deserves and needs 30 minutes and I'm going to design what that is and make sure she has it. No, maybe that's not your default. Maybe that's not the way you work. So I'm to be empathetic to that, but I'm not going to let it be an excuse to continuously have me out here shredding my soul, right? so what it really comes down to is one, ⁓ your needs and wants. What are they? What do you need and what do you want? Because all of that is valid. For me, that's a hot bath every night. ⁓ some time outside in nature, quiet time. My brain is busy all the time. My life is busy all the time. ⁓ I have to take time where there's not something in my ear that I'm consuming. I'm not listening to podcasts or trying to grow myself. that I don't have kids arguing over the snack in the background, that I'm not having a conversation about the kids and what they need to do, whatever. So I need that time. I'm also obsessed with fantasy books. You could pull up the YouTube of this podcast right now and see them all over the walls behind me. And I love to read and journey into other worlds. Sometimes in my busiest seasons, that's what I'm doing every night, because it's the only way I can get my brain to stop. that my brain's stopping, it's just in another world. And I want... and need to find time for these things. So that was the first is recognizing that. The second then is communicating that to the people that need to understand or be bought into it. And so for me, that was my husband. Like I'm taking a bath every night like I always have, but I really would love it if the kids weren't knocking on the door. You know what I mean? And that would be helpful. And I don't even want to hear y'all like fussing and fighting out here. So. I let it be okay that maybe he's not just like jumping in and let me be a servant and do all the things, but also I can communicate those needs. So sure, it can just be husbands but we can take ownership of what we want and need and communicate those. ⁓ And then the hard is holding to that as with any boundary, right? Boundaries just protect your values. keep that in mind. Boundary is the tactic. It's the tool. That's what you put in place, but those boundaries are to protect what you value. And what I value is my freaking life. It's not just my kids and my family, it's also me and what I enjoy and how I take care of me. So it's having that conversation then and communicating those to the people around you, whether that is family members that help you, whether that is ⁓ direct partners ⁓ and parents to children and stuff like that. You those needs ⁓ and you surround yourself with people. who not only are okay with that, but who are happy to jump in and help because it's what you want and need and they care for you and they respect that, right? this kind of stuff has been years in the making. ⁓ and I always been this way. I want to say that I have not always been this way. That was another thing that stood out when I stood up with this microphone last week and had that conversation. But I'm going to circle back to that because I want to tell you, ⁓ like I to build onto everything I do right now for myself. Also cover when I kind of don't. when I get busy and I abandon it and what happens and why I remember that it's important to prioritize myself. then I want to circle around to like, haven't always been this way. I haven't even always had an option to be this way, okay? ⁓ I know a lot of people will hear this. And if I say things like drink water and exercise, you're going to be like, ⁓ have been telling me that for years and it's just not for me and I don't do it. I got you. I feel you. I was there too. Just drink your water also doesn't work for me. ⁓ I can tell you that when I don't, I see the effects. I see how it affects my body, I see how it affects my mind, and then I see how that affects how show up. I see how that affects my mental health and how I'm feeling about myself and what I'm pulling off or what I'm short on and what I can't get to and all of that, and it deteriorates. I've been doing this long enough now that I see those things, so I know that they're vital for how I want to feel every single day. I want to feel happy in that piece of my life, you know? So I started with the 30 minute bath, right? And oh my God, out of 24 hours, I carved out 30 minutes for myself. Can you imagine? And then I went crazy and I added 30 more. So I was, I found myself, this was like post COVID, I had a baby, I had Liana, my second child, literally was kind of a COVID baby, like a pre-COVID baby in a way. She was born December, 2019, which is when we first heard of the COVID virus, right? And it hit March. March, 2020, it hit the US and that's when school shut down. Literally, I went back from maternity leave to my job or a week before things got shut down and we were at home and I was like breastfeeding with her below the camera on meetings and stuff. Good times. I was a couple years in and I found that I wasn't working out. we couldn't put her up in the, she was a ⁓ baby, okay? She was on the tit all the time, needed mama, hated the car, hated the car seat. Like she was tough, okay? She's a girl who knows her needs, I guess. So anyways, we found myself not being able to work out and this was going on and on and on. And the funny thing about Stephanie you should know is that I've always been active. I was in sports growing up and then I did some kickboxing and then I did CrossFit. And so was like always active, but it was always this like heavy workout movement stuff. And so to me that was movement that was working out and anything else wasn't. And I got to a point where it was like, okay, Like walking wasn't working out to me, you know what I mean? Even though doctors will tell you different. so when I thought about working out and ⁓ just got down on myself, like, I can't find the time and I can't get in there. I can't work out and blah, blah, blah. I'm just not motivated to go in my garage and I can't join the gym and all of these things. It was like, well, you can just walk out of your front door and walk for 30 minutes. Like don't come back until you hit, like don't turn around, walk for 15 minutes and turn around. ⁓ And you've got a 30 minute walk. And if you can add that into your day every single day and just build that habit, then you can just change that walk out with whatever else you want. And that's what I did. So every morning after kid drop off or whatever we got going on, I would walk out of my door, I'd walk for 15 minutes and then I'd turn around and I'd come back and I had 30 minutes. And the first thing I found is that walking is absolutely working out. It is movement, it is better than the alternative, right? Which is zero movement for my body. I have to this body or I will lose it. I know that. I have to take care of my heart. only get one. I'm at the point now, like recording this, I'm 36. I'm thriving, baby. We're just moving into like the best part of my life. But this one body I've already had for 36 years, it's the same body I'll have for the next 36, should I be so lucky. So just that tells me I got to take a little bit of care of it. But what I found is that I enjoyed walking more than anything else. I enjoyed it more than working out because I enjoy the time with myself. I enjoy the peace in my mind. I enjoy listening to the birds. And so now, I walk every day too for 30 minutes. And what I want to do is maybe add a 30 minute block on top of that for working out. Cause I still want to move a little bit more, some weight, add some resistance and tone these babies. You know I'm saying? I'll need to get to some of that for sure. But I also still face unique challenges. I also still lead a business. have kids who get out of school at 2 p.m. and then they're home. I have a brother who I care for who lives in my home who's disabled and needs full care. And while we do have support Monday through Friday, I'm so appreciative of now, I'm running my business during that time. So there's a lot of things that are needed. So I might only get an hour, but I'll take that hour over zero every day and I'll continuously look for ways that I make sure that that is priority. But here's what happens in Steph Rubio land as I'm growing this business, as I'm getting more visible, as I'm leaning into opportunities, as I'm creating new ideas and offers and branching out and now going to be like hosting events in person. It means and I'm now visible. I went from being visible on one Instagram last year to two Instagrams, threads, YouTube, running a podcast, multiple emails a month, like so much more under my plate. just to meet new eyes and make new friends and business and stuff like that, So means take that with those commitments and those clients. And suddenly I don't know what my capacity is all the time. And my capacity is really limited. We moved with that brother in in July. And so all these things, all these habits I had built into my day and I was taking care of myself, suddenly we're off the rails again. And I'm a schedule routine person. Like I thrive in that zone, knowing what I'm doing and when I live by the calendar, that does not bother me. I have kids in three different sports, doctor's appointments, like all of these things. So I need the calendar anyway. But I find that some of it is hard to anticipate until suddenly you're in the middle of a shift and you've been weeks into it and you're like, oh gosh, this doesn't feel good. And I haven't found time to walk or take care of myself. And it's not going well elsewhere. I'm down on myself. I'm not feeling good mentally or physically. And that after a couple of years was like, wow, you cannot make this negotiable, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't happen. ⁓ again, we moved my brother in and then got used to having him here a little bit in July and I went severely reduced time, like two hours a day. Y'all, cannot run my business off of two hours a day. I mean, I don't want to like I could, ⁓ that's not what I wanna do. I love connecting and conversation and these different things. So then kids started school. And then they were coming home. So I found myself working like again on just a couple of hours a day and we had to shift again. So I was coming last again. Yes, I still took that hot bath, but I couldn't find time for movement. And then I saw what that did. So it was like, again, being aware of capacity, being aware of what I needed, seeing the negative effects when I can't find some time to take care of my wants and needs. It's non-negotiable for me and it should be non-negotiable for you because when you feel better, you look better. you show up better and people feel that. When the opposite is true, when you're not feeling good, that also comes out in your marketing. it will show up. And so taking care of yourself is how you actually show up better for those kids, for that partner, obviously for yourself. But if you can't find it in you to care about yourself, I haven't convinced you yet. It's also how you show up better for your business. It's how people are attracted to you because you exude this power and this confidence all by just knowing your needs and taking care of them. And it doesn't stop with like physically, this is also with your partner. Okay, this is not a have good sex podcast, but I will say that your happiness with your partner is also a bit in your hands because it starts with you. They shouldn't own your happiness because you have to start by knowing, being self-aware of what you need and want. And then you have to communicate. those needs and wants. And you have to be surrounded by people who are open to and ready to jump into the trenches and make those needs and wants a reality. So I also highly suggest you do a relationship check. Once a year, you can do this around the new year, check in with yourself. Who is here still serving who is here sucking the life out of you? You know what I mean? And can you up-level them for this journey you're on? Can they get on board with those wants and needs you want? And if not, how do you get them off board? Frankly. Yes, I'm not afraid to have that conversation. But back to what I was saying earlier, I have not always been this way. And when I stood up and because I was asked to write most of there were only like three or four people who raised their hand out of 150 that were like, no, I didn't. I didn't really have anything to write when you did this. And so was asked to stand up and share that. And I had to tell people I was like, I'm very proud of being in this moment of owning my power, of being confident, of knowing who I am and where I want to go and taking action. owning that out loud and then taking action to get there. I'm so proud of that. It's exactly what I help other people do. I to tell that room because I suddenly look like I'm the shiny unreachable place everyone else is and Stephanie's got it all together. I have not always been this way. I was also a single mother at one point. I was divorced at 25 when I was pregnant and I thought about all these Christmases and all these things that I'd have as a family. A couple years later, I was ripping that family apart because I was choosing myself. I was choosing not to be in a relationship that was deteriorating my mental health rapidly. will not speak much more on that publicly ⁓ I have a kid with that person and I'm very respectful that all of this lives online forever and my kid is going to be a teenager and he's going to be out here in the world soon and I am very protective and loving and caring about how things I say could affect him. for a while at least. So parts of my story will have to wait, but it's important to know that I was not in a good place. I grew up dirt poor in environment where I would hear things like, you know, the first mistake we made was chasing women and shaving them. And the second was letting them vote. that was normal talk when I was growing up, ⁓ So what power did have? ⁓ Well, I would ever that women were for the purpose and pleasure of men when I was growing up, you know? ⁓ then forward with all the like crap and trauma from childhood and things that happened to me in the environment I grew up in. And then I'm early adult and I'm ⁓ not a good relationship. My mental health is continuing to deteriorate. I now am a mom to a kid where I need to do better and be better. I moved me and said kid who was a year and a half ⁓ old a tiny little tin can trailer, two bedroom, like eighties model trailer in the middle of nowhere, two doors over from where my dad lived at the time. and single mom that went to sales jobs all the time, dropping my kid off at other places. So then I took a job and, you know, met my now husband and we moved here and I was still in this place of like just meeting needs. I was so thankful for my $21 an hour job that I landed and had a couple of years because I could be home every night. I worked eight to four and I was like, suddenly I went from these sales jobs that had me dropping him off with anybody who would keep him, which is not a good feeling as a mom to driving all over for the sales job, losing a lot of time with him because I still gave him to, you know, the other part of the family for all this time because I had torn the family apart and all of that garbage. so I was missing a lot of time with my kid now. I was applying for food stamps, ⁓ missing calls, missing the food stamps because I would miss calls when they would randomly call you unscheduled to try to interview you for food stamps. And so then I'd miss it ⁓ you could never get through to them. And, um, it was a hot mess. And so I lived in that zone. Even when I got this stable job here, even though, even when, you know, I was with my now husband and we were engaged in creating our stable home and we moved from Georgia to where I am now in Pensacola, Florida. And, um, I was just still so grateful for meeting that bare minimum that need to be home with my kid and family, like every night and weekend. I was so grateful for that, that I still allowed myself to stay in an environment that was not good for me because I was meeting needs and I was satisfied with the bare minimum. And I never came first. My wants, dreams, hopes, or nothing like that, that wasn't in the cards for me until several years ago. Why not? Why not? Again, it's my life. And so I realized had to figure out what those things were, which is how I started the top of this call. In my advice to you is first you have to know what those wants and needs are. You have to give your permission to even explore that. So I think I need to back it up and say zero. Step zero is giving yourself permission. because it is your life and no one else's to figure out what it even is you want and need. And then you're self-aware of that, right? And then you communicate those needs and you start laying the groundwork to make them happen and surround yourself with people who get it. And then you continuously grow and morph into that. I want to take archery classes for no other reason than like, want to try something new and doing archery sounds cool as fuck. So continuously exploring and then me and my husband, have been on this journey together. And we do that something similar on our anniversary every year. We try to go out to a nice dinner. not your Friday night, grab a burger that we prefer to do, but like an actual really nice expensive steak dinner. Because I like really yummy food. I also don't like spending a lot of money on really yummy food. And I'm not like a swanky swank girl. But that's our thing for our anniversary. Plus our anniversary is in September and then October you have my birthday and November you have his birthday and then we have Christmas. So we don't want to gift give or do any kind of vacation for anniversary because we're walking into like a gift giving busy season anyway, you know? ⁓ our thing is let's have time together and we have a rule during this dinner that we can't talk about our kids or the business or now my brother or anything like that because that's our default. Give us that Friday night, let us have a beer and a burger. And we're like talking about the kids and just doing what parents do. And we're not talking about us and it's our anniversary. And so one thing we started doing is anyone who knows me is gonna laugh at this. We kind of run like a business meeting. sounds so boring, but it's not. It's like one little tiny section of our nice little dinner. I'm we run a retrospective. What felt great this year and it can't be about the kids. It has to be about us. What felt really good about like us and our relationship, you know, and what what didn't or what do we want more of, you know, can be the same thing. Is there anything we wish we had more of or would have done differently? And what do we want to like focus on the year ahead? ⁓ one year it was individual stuff. I was like, I just kind of want to explore stuff individually. And if that's not into you, like if you don't want to take archery lessons, I want to be cool with that. The funny part is that my husband's also my favorite person, so I'd rather just be out back throwing darts with him. So that's cool. But we didn't get to this place without intentional effort, without me recognizing that I had wants and needs that weren't being met, figuring out what those were, communicating those, getting his buy-in and also caring that he has them too. not an easy road and it's always like grounded in respect and care for each other. ⁓ I that's enough for today. I've talked your ear off enough. and hopefully giving you some food for thought. think my important components now to say are one, if you're still not bought into why prioritizing yourself is actually a strategic move for your business, then you need to listen to my first episode, because I really break that down. ⁓ So I'll drop that in the show notes. if you're bought into the why and you heard all of my how ⁓ and you're like, oof, I don't have. village to help you know with the kids I don't either I only have my partner here my husband and if you don't have a partner or husband who's supportive well why do you have one but that's a podcast for another time you need some unique ways to start making that happen and it gets uncomfortable when you start growing or outgrowing someone and there's many ways you could say I've outgrown my partner in the past couple because of the journey I'm on and just what entrepreneurship does to you and the fact that he was already an okay, normal, stable person and like he's cool with that. And I'm over here like, wee-haw, I got a lot of trauma to unpack and all this self work to do and all of these components. now I'm growing and now I'm steppoing in being into this power and now I'm stepping being into this confidence and stuff. And so it's like this conscious effort to go with each other. this, doesn't just happen overnight. but it does take a willingness on both parts and it still starts with you owning and knowing that. So if you need any support with that part, with becoming self-aware of what you want and need, then communicating that with the folks around you, If you're listening to this and you're like, but that's never going to be me and my partner, then I understand that defeating feeling. really do. And I want to support you in whatever way I can. My DMs are open. This is not easy stuff, but it comes back to it being your life. So first give yourself permission to put yourself first because everyone else will always be your default.