Dru's Notes

You hit the goal and the win fades by tomorrow. The target was never fixed: reach it and you want the next one. Chess ratings and jiu-jitsu belts turn out to be the same trap in different clothing.

Show Notes

You hit the goal and the win fades by tomorrow. The target was never fixed: reach it and you want the next one. Chess ratings and jiu-jitsu belts turn out to be the same trap in different clothing.

Featuring: Jay Shetty

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Creators and Guests

Host
Dru Riley
Founder of Trends.vc
JS
Guest
Jay Shetty
Featured in Dru's Notes: Why Achieving Goals Doesn't Make You Happy.

What is Dru's Notes?

One mental model each day in a few minutes. Habits, business, building products and thinking clearly. From Dru Riley, founder of Trends.vc.

"There is no satisfying the senses, even with a rain of gold coins."

The Dhammapada

Win the belt and a new belt appears. Hit the rating and the rating you want jumps higher. The finish line was never fixed.

More money, more status, more wins reset the baseline. Then you want more at the new level. Running hard keeps you in place. That's the hedonic treadmill. In chess I want a higher rating. In jiu-jitsu I want the next belt. Both feel like destinations. Both are the same treadmill in a different outfit.

The tell comes after you reach your goal. Then the target quietly moves. The number you chased becomes the number you're scared to lose. The belt you earned becomes the floor. You already want the next stripe. The good feeling fades.

This is wired into us. Reach a goal and you want the next one. One option is for you to see the game for what it is while you're still playing.

Seeing the game won't stop you from wanting more. A higher rating and a new belt reset the day you reach them.

So I spend effort where the payoff repeats. Cut one thing I hate doing and every day after it gets better. A higher rating feels good once, then the target moves.

Gratitude does the same. Each day I write down a few things I'm grateful for. You stop noticing good things once they become routine.

What are you chasing that moves the moment you arrive?