Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode:  https://share.transistor.fm/s/483a6c2b
📓 Show Notes: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/204

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 204, Poirot and Action Hastings avoid fencing and lazy tongs at a luxury pie factory. Fast living is to blame!

Show Notes

BBC Sounds

Doomwatch (1972)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068498/

Hoover Building 

Railings: Surprisingly Interesting 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHvKvOUSor4

Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Schedule
  • June 10 - Poirot S02E01 - “Peril at End House”
  • June 17 - Off
  • June 24 - Poirot S02E02 - “The Veiled Lady”

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Creators & Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Sarah:

Never mind the cat. Hey, Maniacs.

Mark:

Hey, Mystery Maniacs. Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love. This week, the dream.

Sarah:

Season 1 episode 10. I'm Mark. I'm Sarah. Wow.

Mark:

This is such a fun episode.

Sarah:

I've been looking forward to this episode.

Mark:

This is a this is a very good we're ending season 1. You should give us more money for season 2 episode.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. They must have made such a list of the stories they could have covered in a first season and And it must have been it must have been really tough choices. Yep.

Sarah:

And then, yeah, and then somebody must have said, I don't care, but we have to do Johnny Waverly or I quit. Yeah. And they're like, oh, okay. Okay. It's a story about a kid who gets not kidnapped.

Sarah:

Oh, okay. Okay.

Mark:

Okay. Whatever. Whatever. Let's go with it.

Sarah:

This one's great. So This week, we watched a few episodes of the new broken wood season. Yes. They were they were fun.

Mark:

They were very good.

Sarah:

We watched McDonald and Dodds

Mark:

Which is always good. I think it's getting better. The the characters are changing slightly, which I like.

Sarah:

And Their relationship is maturing

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Between the sergeant and the inspector. Absolutely.

Mark:

And there were a lot of fish

Sarah:

and chips. Which I always like.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Well, love and hate because I'm like, well, can I have some? Can I

Mark:

have some?

Sarah:

We we, managed Though Dodds dips his his chips in butter Yes. He does. I can't wrap my brain around. But

Mark:

No. We also got through the bladder blasting Dune 2.

Sarah:

Oh, yes.

Mark:

2 hours and 45 minutes.

Sarah:

You say bladder busting, but it took us 3 nights to watch it because it's so long. But it was good. It's beautiful. Like Dune, it's it's well worth a watch.

Mark:

It is a

Sarah:

As good as the first one.

Mark:

It is a special effects masterpiece in that there might have been 0 shots around, like, oh, that's a special effect. Yeah. Like, they're just integrated so well. And this movie has giant sandworms, and you're just like, okay. Here come the giant sandworms.

Sarah:

Oh, look. They're riding them.

Mark:

Alright. Okay.

Sarah:

That looks like fun. Yeah. That was that was fun to watch. I have another recommendation that isn't a specific show necessarily. Whether you're in the UK or not, but especially if you're outside of UK, you probably don't know about this necessarily.

Sarah:

There is an app, and it's for iPhone and Android called BBC Sounds.

Mark:

Oh, okay.

Sarah:

I've had it for a long time. Yep. But what it gives you is all of the BBC radio stations and all of their shows, all the music shows, the news shows, Gardner's Question Time is on there, which is one of my favorite.

Mark:

Haven't listened to Gardner's Question Time. It's fantastic.

Sarah:

You do not need to like gardening. No. No. No. No.

Sarah:

Except you're constantly expecting somebody to be murdered if you're like me. Like, it should include a murder in every episode. Anyway, I highly recommend it because they have some awesome true crime and fiction mystery podcasts on there

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

That I have not seen in other podcast apps.

Mark:

Okay. So I have some questions. 1, is this a free app?

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

Okay. That's great. And 2, is this available worldwide?

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Now every once in a while, there's a show on there that it says it's available only in the UK, but that's usually for a period of time, and then it becomes available. Becomes available. Right. So, like, for example, Lucy Worsley, the historian, has a podcast on there called Ladykillers. That's a feminist take on historical murders committed by women.

Mark:

Oh, excellent.

Sarah:

And she's awesome. She's a great storyteller anyway.

Mark:

Morrisley.

Sarah:

And it's really great. And then, like, Helena Bonham Carter has a, a series called Hidden Heroes that's about people specifically during World War 2 mostly who were just amazing people who you've never heard of. And every episode covers a different person, and they're just fantastic. I just listened to one about a woman who was, like, a British debutante who volunteered to ski over the Alps as a spy.

Mark:

Wow. Edelweiss, man.

Sarah:

And she did it. Like, just and and they just tell stories really well right now. Helen bottom Carter? Helen bottom Carter is the host.

Mark:

We we I don't know if we mentioned it. I know we've talked about the cleaner before with Greg Davies.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

But she's in the first episode and maybe one of the greatest guest star appearances on a sitcom of all time.

Sarah:

See, I think the one with David Mitchell's better, but I love David Mitchell.

Mark:

They're both superior.

Sarah:

Every episode's good.

Mark:

Yeah. And, actually, if you're not watching taskmaster, the latest season has been just concluded with Steve Pemberton

Sarah:

who was Excellent.

Mark:

The whole cast is super in this

Sarah:

Yeah. Season. Which I was surprised by because the first episode, I'm like, I only really recognize 2 of these people. Yes. Or no.

Sarah:

3, kinda 3 people. You know, they're they're kinda digging deep now

Mark:

for Mohammed from Ted Lasso's.

Sarah:

Yeah. But as you watch it, you kinda get to know them and you grow to love them. So I'm

Mark:

just gonna tell you this. One of the charac one of the comics shows up as

Sarah:

A vampire for every episode. A

Mark:

vampire for every episode, and another one shows up as Freddie Mercury.

Sarah:

Yes. For every episode.

Mark:

For every episode. And it's not Philly Philly Wang Wang. No. But he was the first. Philly Philly Wang Wang was the first to show up in costume for every

Sarah:

Yeah. He was in the yellow, Jumpsuit.

Mark:

The Kill Bill jumpsuit.

Sarah:

Well, it's not a Kill Bill jumpsuit. It's, a Bruce Lee jumpsuit.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

Yes. So, oh, just fantastic.

Sarah:

So the the reason why I mentioned the BBC sounds app now Yes. Is because I'm listening to this awesome podcast on there that's called thief at the British Museum. Oh. So Is

Mark:

that this is true crime?

Sarah:

Yes. Okay. But the they know how to tell a story.

Mark:

Oh, okay.

Sarah:

Right? So this is not blood and gore or anything. Mhmm. So it's about this guy who is an antiquities dealer. He's an antiques dealer, and he specializes in gemstones Okay.

Sarah:

Specifically from the classical era. So Greek and Roman gems.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

So, like, old cameos and things like that from that era. And he's a Dutch guy.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

But he also happens to have a photographic memory.

Mark:

Oh, okay.

Sarah:

He's very fun. Anyway, he comes across this Greek cameo on eBay, and it looks familiar to him. And he realizes he remembers it from a British Museum catalog from the 19 sixties that he owns. So it's stolen from As you do. Because he has a photographic memory.

Sarah:

He remembers where he saw it. Come to find out, somebody has stolen thousands of gems from the British Museum, and this guy solves it.

Mark:

Oh, nice. So you get a solution too.

Sarah:

He he is he is the Sherlock Holmes of the story, and he's and he's really fun. That sounds super good. It's called Thief at the British Museum, and that's just one of the many, many shows on the BBC Sounds app that I think are just awesome. So, anyway, I highly recommend it. It's free.

Sarah:

You should get it.

Mark:

Just to let you know what we're covering, we're moving straight into Poirot season 2, and the first episode of that will drop June 10th because we're in June now. By the way, it's June.

Sarah:

Yeah. May went

Mark:

So the first episode will be June 10th. Parallel at end house, it's a full a feature length episode.

Sarah:

Yeah. We're getting into the 90 minute ones.

Mark:

Well, no. All the rest of this season's still 60 minutes. And then we gotta take another break, and then June 24th, the day before my birthday, the veiled lady.

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

Fantastic stuff.

Sarah:

Now after Poirot season 2 Yes. We are going to make a lot of people very happy.

Mark:

I think so.

Sarah:

We're gonna do broken wood season 1.

Mark:

Yes. Four episodes of broken woods season 1.

Sarah:

We might do season 2 afterwards. I'm not gonna commit to that right now. I don't know because who knows what will have come out by then.

Mark:

Who knows?

Sarah:

Who knows?

Mark:

We may have knew we may have knew midsummer.

Sarah:

You you don't know. Right?

Mark:

I wanna say in a clear voice, okay, that we are never ever going to say things, especially on Facebook, about the new season of Midsummer and collecting likes or follows. The Midsummer groups are full of these people who are like, if I get 500 likes or follows, there'll be a new season. That is absolute crap. Yeah. Don't believe it.

Mark:

Don't listen to what they're saying. Listen to the official channel. And by the way, we we were on the podcast 2 weeks ago.

Sarah:

Oh, that's right. Our our trivia round was part of the official Midsummer podcast last week.

Mark:

So they did do it for the episode about, cricket cricket teams, and we had no idea

Sarah:

what's going on in the prepared out of all.

Mark:

Not prepared at all. But they do mention the podcast. I was kinda Fun. Amazed by that. But, yeah, it's super cool.

Mark:

So hopefully

Sarah:

And we and we love the lady who does the trivia. Ash is it Ashley? Yeah. Oh, I just lost her name.

Mark:

I can't remember her name either.

Sarah:

I'm sorry. Do you want me to go on? No. It's fine. She's amazing.

Sarah:

She's

Mark:

super lady who runs the trivia is super awesome.

Sarah:

And that segment, even when we're not on it, is the highlight of that podcast.

Mark:

And was super nice to meet us.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah.

Mark:

And super gracious to us.

Sarah:

Yeah. Absolutely.

Mark:

She didn't need

Sarah:

to be. She was just fun and nice.

Mark:

Nope. 19th March 1989, this sucker drops. The dream directed by Edward Bennett and written by Clive Exton. But I looked at Clive Exton's IMDB page Mhmm. Today, and I found a gem.

Mark:

This is not a bad movie Mark seen, but it's certainly a bad movie Mark wants to see. 1972, doom watch. Doom watch?

Sarah:

T o o m? Yep. And this is written or directed by the same person who

Mark:

Written by, Clive Exton who wrote this episode.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

Okay. The name of the movie is Doomwatch. It's in 1972. It's British. Sarah, guess the plot in 2 seconds.

Sarah:

I'm gonna guess that it is about a group of people who are home guards looking out for nuclear war.

Mark:

Oh, that's a good that's a good idea. But, no, they went, they went environmental disaster. The water surrounding an island become contaminated by chemical dumping, and the people who eat fish are caught in those waters become deformed and violent. A scientist comes to the island to see what's wrong, played by Ian Bannon. And, wow.

Mark:

There are some deformities going on there.

Sarah:

What is that about Doom watch?

Mark:

I don't know why it's called Doom watch.

Sarah:

Sounds like Doom fish.

Mark:

I tell you, it should be called Doom fish. Or don't drink the water. Exactly.

Sarah:

I think my plot was better.

Mark:

I think your plot was better. So let's talk about the plot of the dream.

Sarah:

First of all, we're at a pie factory.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

When now we've talked about meat pies. Yes. If you're not from the US, if you say something about pie in the US, 99.999999% of Americans will assume you are talking about a fruit pie.

Mark:

Yes. Or a pumpkin pie.

Sarah:

That that's a fruit. Yep. Okay. Some kind of fruit pie Yes. Or an icebox pie like a pudding pie.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Right? Like a chocolate cream pie.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Not one person out of a 1000 is going to assume you're talking about a savory pie.

Mark:

No. But everyone in the UK

Sarah:

As would assume you're talking about a savory pie. If you say, do you wanna have a pie? They will probably default to a savory pie.

Mark:

Maybe when we cover broken wood, we should order some more pies from that place. They were really they were

Sarah:

really good. You just need an excuse. In the US, savory pies are pot pies.

Mark:

Pot pies.

Sarah:

Yes. Which are very similar Yep. Except for one difference. And I couldn't put my finger on it until I did some research.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Do you wanna guess the key difference between an American savory pie, which we call a pot pie, even though it's not made in a pot, it has a crust, a top crust, bottom crust just like a UK pie and a UK meat pie.

Mark:

Is it and I'm gonna try to relate it to this episode. Mhmm. Is it that it's not boiled first then baked?

Sarah:

Okay. No pie is boiled first then baked.

Mark:

Well, in this episode No. The pies are boiled then they're baked. No. That I thought that's

Sarah:

They're talking about the filling being cooked.

Mark:

Okay. Okay. Then I'm an idiot.

Sarah:

Can you tell Mark doesn't like pie of any sort? He doesn't like crust or warm fruit. The difference is the location of the gravy.

Mark:

Oh.

Sarah:

In a US pie, the gravy is in it. Yes. A UK pie, you have gravy on it.

Mark:

On it.

Sarah:

Or you eat it without, which means it can be a hand pie and you can carry it around. You cannot carry around a pot pie and try

Mark:

to get it. You you would get it all over yourself.

Sarah:

It would scald you and you get it everywhere. I I wondered if Farley, the pie man, was based on an actual pie manufacturer.

Mark:

A pie magnate.

Sarah:

A pie magnate.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

I could not find one that was similar. However, there is a brand of pies called Clark's Pies that has been around for a really, really, really long time, like, since the 19 twenties. And the best thing I learned about them is there's a term called a Clark's mustache.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Which is when you burn your top lip on the pie because the filling is so hot. Yeah. And they call it a Clark's mustache.

Mark:

Oh, I hate that feeling. That burnt lip feeling. Oh,

Sarah:

that's That's so painful.

Mark:

That's bad.

Sarah:

That would make me not wanna eat one after that.

Mark:

Boy, this factory is gorgeous.

Sarah:

That building is amazing.

Mark:

Oh, let us dive into this building.

Sarah:

So first of all so many tangents already. I promise we're gonna talk about the plot because there's a big problem with this plot. The problem is don't ever send a letter and none of this happens.

Mark:

None of

Sarah:

this happens. Anyhow, the building. So the Giant white glass, beautiful building.

Mark:

That looks painted. Like, it looks like they It

Sarah:

looks fake.

Mark:

Used a backdrop. Yeah. No. This building's real, and it still looks like that.

Sarah:

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that because so many amazing buildings get renovated.

Mark:

It's called the Hoover building. Do you know why it's called the Hoover building?

Sarah:

If it was in the US, I would say it was j Edgar Hoover. But in the UK, I'm gonna say it is vacuum cleaners.

Mark:

Yes. But American vacuum cleaners. Yes. So in the roaring twenties and the early thirties, right, there was an influx of American companies into Britain.

Sarah:

And women were tired of the toil of sweeping.

Mark:

And so this factory, it was a factory. It's a beautiful building. Yep. This factory employed up to 600 people at at the point. It was built in 1931.

Sarah:

I can believe it. It's gorgeous. It's So if it's still there, is it still a vacuum factory?

Mark:

Well, I was scared to look.

Sarah:

Wait. Wait. Wait. Let me guess. Let me guess.

Sarah:

If it's still there, it's either some kind of industrial museum owned by UK heritage or something egregiously gross like a grocery store.

Mark:

Kind of both. Oh. So it is an apartment building that is a listed building.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

So you can't change anything in this building. Right. But the back of it is now a Tesco.

Sarah:

A Tesco.

Mark:

They all set a Tesco sign out front.

Sarah:

How could they turn that building into a Tesco? That's awful. If you don't know, a Tesco is a grocery store.

Mark:

It is a big parking lot now.

Sarah:

That's awful.

Mark:

Well, in the So these apartments, first of all

Sarah:

We gotta get to the plot at some point. Okay. Tell us about the

Mark:

This is interesting. How long is the lease on this apartment?

Sarah:

If it's heritage, I'm gonna guess that they're, like, 50 year leases or something crazy like that.

Mark:

First of all, it's all sold out, so we can't get something.

Sarah:

Right. Okay. People own them.

Mark:

The only lease you can get on these apartments are 250 year leases.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's like that midsummer where the guy falls from the roof

Mark:

Mhmm.

Sarah:

Of the the country house, and it's 2 two families live there.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Yeah. Somebody else owns the land.

Mark:

Yes. Someone else owns the land, which we watched this really good YouTube video. We're way off on railings. It it's more interesting

Sarah:

London. London railings. Yeah. Because we're nerds. Because we're nerds.

Mark:

So these units in this building are 250 year leases. How big do you think a unit is?

Sarah:

A 1000 square feet.

Mark:

1100 square feet.

Sarah:

Oh, that's close.

Mark:

So roughly a third of our house. Yes. Like, the library

Sarah:

And I'm gonna guess there

Mark:

is a half

Sarah:

a $1,000,000.

Mark:

Our bathroom and our bedroom Yeah. Is the only space. Yeah. This is a listed building. You can't change a thing.

Sarah:

Right. You can't take down a wall, and you can't combine 2 units.

Mark:

So they're all sold, but I found a listing for 1.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And this is I don't know. There's no date on this. 6 £199,000.

Sarah:

I was close. I said half a1000000.

Mark:

Yep. Which, in American dollars is 891 Oh, close

Sarah:

to a 1000000.

Mark:

Yeah. It's, close to a $1,000,000 to get an apartment in

Sarah:

And you basically own it.

Mark:

Yeah. You basically own. That's like it's that 250 year lease means you basically own it. In the show notes, I'm gonna put the brochure for the sales of these apartments. I'll put a

Sarah:

link to the brochure. See what the building looks like. It's amazing.

Mark:

The brochure makes your life better by just seeing the brochure.

Sarah:

Just the windows. The windows on the side of the building that are on the corner that cut the corner in half Yeah. Are so beautiful.

Mark:

Yes. Absolutely gorgeous, gorgeous building.

Sarah:

But inside that building lives a nasty, nasty man. Oh. Mister Farley.

Mark:

Well, everything is politically motivated. I pay your wages.

Sarah:

Yeah. I'd like to call you my friends. After After all, I pay your wages. He's such a jerk face. Yeah.

Sarah:

Well, he's a big blobby nose face is what he is with we call him Coke bottle glasses because they look the lenses look like the bottom of a Coke bottle.

Mark:

So we have Farley, his wife, the mayor, his second in command, and the daughter. Mhmm. And then I counted somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 other people in this shot.

Sarah:

The women who work in the factory whose job it is to just arrange pies on a tray, apparently.

Mark:

They're all in costume. Yeah. Like, I cannot believe the amount of money spent for that first five minutes of this.

Sarah:

Well, those costumes were probably rented from a uniform company. But because I think there are people who still wear outfits like that to wear.

Mark:

I agree with all of that. Yeah. But that has to be arranged.

Sarah:

It has

Mark:

to be paid for. It has to be fitted on to everybody Yeah. Who didn't fit into a costume. I'm sorry you're not working today. Yeah.

Mark:

Union has to be worked out for all those people. Even though they don't say a line, they still probably get paid a union situation. Like, there's just so much.

Sarah:

But how much but how much do the pigs make?

Mark:

Oh, the pig east.

Sarah:

They're so cute. Do you think it's weird that they slaughter the animals in the same building where they make the pies?

Mark:

Yeah. It is kinda weird. And then the weirdness on top of it is they have piggy statues everywhere. Yeah. There's a clock or a piggy statue or both in every shot

Sarah:

of this show. That is the most whimsical thing about Farley Yes. Is the pigs. That's it. That's all.

Mark:

Well, I'll tell you what. His daughter, she's got a man. She's she's gonna eat that man. She almost eats his face off.

Sarah:

She runs from the factory wing opening

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Like, all the way around the factory up, like, 2 flights of stairs just to kiss him Yeah. And then goes all the way back just because she wants to go eat his face.

Mark:

Meanwhile, he says, I've been fired. Fired.

Sarah:

And then she goes all the way back.

Mark:

But don't worry. I'll be back when you need me.

Sarah:

Like, how desperate for a kiss are you? Apparently, she's kissing. Waiting for her there?

Mark:

I don't know.

Sarah:

His name is Herbert Chudleigh. Yeah. She must really like him because she's gonna be Joanna Chudleigh.

Mark:

But he seems to make her very happy.

Sarah:

He is quite the hero.

Mark:

Yeah. He is quite the hero.

Sarah:

On his motorcycle with the sidecar and the leathers and the goggles and everything.

Mark:

Meanwhile, miss Lemon is having a problem. She's writing an e

Sarah:

It's not an email. You keep when we were talking about this earlier, you're like, miss Lemon's writing an email.

Mark:

No. She's writing a letter.

Sarah:

A letter. Old school.

Mark:

To Henry Montfleur Esquire of 68 Cheyenne Court, an actual address in Chelsea.

Sarah:

On a typewriter that they found in the apartment when he moved in. That somebody else thought was so broken that they left it behind.

Mark:

Well, Hastings is like shoes.

Sarah:

Yeah. You can have be fitted for shoes in your own home. He's opening Poirot's mail Yeah.

Mark:

He is.

Sarah:

And reading through it. Yeah. So somebody wrote to Poirot about having shoes fitted in his home. I can't imagine Poirot's feet. No.

Sarah:

I bet you Socks. I bet you they're bad Yeah. Because he wears shoes that are too tight.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Poreless Lemon is trying to type with a typewriter that the letters jam, and she has she has to pry them back with a pencil.

Mark:

Now the people in the UK understand that when she says bother, it's like she's saying fudge in the US. She's not saying bugger.

Sarah:

That's very different.

Mark:

It's very different.

Sarah:

You can look it up.

Mark:

Yes. But that's why she says bother. Not, oh, this is such a bother to me. No. It's like fudge.

Sarah:

Yeah. I don't think we've ever seen Poirot stationary before. Oh, it's beautiful. His letterhead's beautiful.

Mark:

Absolutely beautiful.

Sarah:

Right on the mark for this era. Absolutely. So pretty.

Mark:

But she's having problems with that typewriter. It keeps jamming. I think it keeps jamming because she doesn't know how to type. But, you know

Sarah:

It does increase the likelihood that your keyboard will jam, doesn't it? If you press the letters wrong?

Mark:

I do love that there's a typewriter subplot in this episode.

Sarah:

Of course, you do because you are.

Mark:

So come to my place at 9:30 on Thursday night. Bring this letter with you. There's a really nice transition here that's really well done and mentions of semiquavers. Do you know what a semiquaver? It's a 16th note.

Mark:

It's a 16th note. Yep.

Sarah:

Saying that Farley makes pie is like saying Wagner wrote semiquavers. Like, he wrote one note. Which if you heard Farley Farley's company made 5,000,000 pies this year.

Mark:

Well Right? What if you so Wagner flight of the vaul Valkyries. And Yep. That beginning part that is the string section rising that playing the notes over repeated, those are semiquavers. Yeah.

Mark:

That's why Wagner's talks about semiquavers.

Sarah:

I think it's it would have been more strange to Poirot that Farley wants to meet at 9:30 PM. Yeah. Like, that's such a weird time to meet.

Mark:

It is.

Sarah:

Turns out, it's just as the evening shift is ending. Yes. That's why he wants to meet at 9:30 because the workers are leaving. Yeah. Gosh.

Sarah:

I hope they're 2nd shift, and they haven't been there since the morning. I hope not. You're my friend.

Mark:

Hastings, you can't go in.

Sarah:

Holmes, the butler, he's kind of not very notable in the episode. Right? He's the one who says, I'm I've been instructed only one person

Mark:

can come in.

Sarah:

The letter. Show me the letter. Don't give it to me. Just show it to me. Yeah.

Sarah:

But the guy who plays him, his name is Neville Phillips. Yes. And he has been in 7 episodes of Midsommar. Wow. 7.

Mark:

Is it that I wonder if that's the most. Well, okay.

Sarah:

I'm gonna in 2 episodes in season 4. Just in season 4.

Mark:

And he's not a name character. He's just a background name.

Sarah:

He has a name.

Mark:

Sometimes.

Sarah:

But most often, he plays a vicar or a priest. Oh. But he is, like, the go to extra for the first 12 seasons of Midsummer if you need a religious guy. That dude worked hard. He did.

Sarah:

He has some stories, I bet.

Mark:

Oh, yeah. So let me tell you this story while I shine a light in your face.

Sarah:

It's like he's being interrogated.

Mark:

I'm like, this scene when the it would be the AD, the assistant director. Now the AD does all this stuff. Right? Does all the logistics. Mhmm.

Mark:

Okay? He I don't I don't know if it's a he or she, but the person who is the AD on this show who read this scene went

Sarah:

The lighting is gonna be

Mark:

a hassle. Incredibly difficult to film.

Sarah:

Yeah. Because they have to be light enough that we can see what's going on, but dark enough that the lights actually have the impact they're supposed to have in the scene.

Mark:

No piece of equipment can shine any light or be reflective, and there's a giant window behind him.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's true because it bounced back

Mark:

to the camera. Just must be. Like, they did a perfect job. Yeah. They did a really good job, but wow.

Mark:

It it must have been so hard to film. And they had to film in this place at night Mhmm. Because it's a they were fixing it up at this time.

Sarah:

Yeah. So we haven't mentioned it yet. But if you're new to the show, we're a spoiler podcast. We're gonna ruin it. Ready?

Sarah:

We're gonna ruin it. One of the things I love about this episode is that they were smart enough to have the same actor play Farley when he's actually Farley.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And Hugo Kornworthy who then impersonates Farley. Yes. The same actor plays Farley, so it's totally believable when he's pretending to be Farley.

Mark:

And they never have him in the same shot? No. But they do a really good job of editing the beginning to make it look like he's right there with me.

Sarah:

Yeah. He's in the factory. Cornworthy doesn't want him to get a very good look at him.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

So Cornworthy doesn't want him to get a very good look at him. No. As if Poirot knew Farley so well that he would recognize it wasn't him. He just doesn't trust his own makeup. That nose is fantastic.

Mark:

Yes. It is. And Poirot gives him a wrong letter here. Do you think Poirot's on to him?

Sarah:

Yes. Well, I think he thinks something's fishy, and he's trying to figure out what it is, and so he's testing a theory.

Mark:

Yeah. I think so too.

Sarah:

You know? There are two points in this that I wanna contrast with the story how it was written.

Mark:

The short story.

Sarah:

Yes. Yep. We don't often talk about the short stories or the novels because I don't expect people who watch Poirot to have read all of Christie's books. No. But I also I own all of them.

Mark:

Yep. We own every In the collector's edition. Echo Christie book.

Sarah:

Because my mother gave them to me. Yep. And this is one of the places in the episode, he says it's a letter from his landlord that he gives him, takes back, and then gives him the proper letter. But in this short story, the letter is from his laundress. Oh.

Sarah:

Poirot's laundress. And it's an apology letter where she's apologizing for how poorly she is starching his collar.

Mark:

No collar. Very good starch.

Sarah:

Him collar. No very good starchy. And later in the short story, he says that her sending him the letter is maybe the most useful thing she's ever done. The only useful thing she's ever done because she's so bad.

Mark:

By the way, can I go into the next room? No. Send me a bell.

Sarah:

There's nothing to see in there.

Mark:

Okay. Do you see the subtitle when he gets back out with, Hastings in the car? Uh-uh. Suspenseful jazz music. Oh.

Mark:

Something is wrong in that house.

Sarah:

The dream that Farley has is that at 1228

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

He stands up from his desk, retrieves a revolver from a drawer, goes to the window, looks out the window and shoots himself. Yep. Okay. He doesn't know why he's having this dream repeatedly. He wants Poirot's insight.

Sarah:

Poirot doesn't have any insight. So he says, get out of here. He's such a grumble a grump. When I saw this episode for the first time and Farley talked about the dream, I just assumed he meant 12:28 at night. Yeah.

Sarah:

It's weird. I guess because this is happening at night.

Mark:

We've seen this episode a lot of times. Yeah. Okay? I thought they recreated the dream in this sequence.

Sarah:

I did too. I had it in my head that we saw him at the desk in the dark. He's got this dressing gown on, this smoking jacket that's talked about a lot in the short story about it. How patchy it is and how old and grainy it is. Well, he's cheap.

Sarah:

Because he's so cheap. He's had it for, like, 25 years. And he has that on. He goes to the drawer. He gets the gun out, and he shoots himself.

Sarah:

But, no. It's not it's not there. Yeah. But it's actually 12:28 in the afternoon

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Is when it supposedly happened. Now this dream is bullshit.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Farley never had this dream.

Mark:

It's just indigestion.

Sarah:

This is all Cornworthy's machinations.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Why does he do this in the fur if Poirot never gets involved,

Mark:

he gets Faraway's death

Sarah:

is a suicide. End of story. Nobody likes him anyway.

Mark:

And he Done. If his wife never says, oh, you told me about the dream all the time, she gets away scot free.

Sarah:

She's completely not implicated.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

What I mean

Mark:

because the daughter's like, I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry. I had to go fence.

Sarah:

Oh, I was like, what is that? What are they gonna hear? Tick tick tick. And what you mean is touche.

Mark:

Yes. There's a fencing scene.

Sarah:

Where Poirot has to like Creep. Creep around and then get startled. But if Cornworthy never sends that letter, Poirot is never involved, and he gets away scot free. Why does he send the letter?

Mark:

Yeah. Because JAP would have been, like, oh, gunshot. Suicide.

Sarah:

He was a grumpy old asshole. Nobody liked him anyway. Yep. Oh, well. His daughter's not complaining.

Sarah:

She's the only next of kin. So why does he do it?

Mark:

I think he wants the legitimacy of Poirot saying because Poirot's famous.

Sarah:

Right.

Mark:

Right? He wants the legitimacy of Poirot going, yes. I was told about this dream, but it seems so weird. I don't know why he would

Sarah:

Is that your Poirot impersonation? I guess. So he thinks that it will help him get away by having Poirot involved and say he must have done it himself. He said he

Mark:

was gonna manipulate Poirot.

Sarah:

Yeah. He's wrong.

Mark:

Yeah. He's very wrong.

Sarah:

Course, he's wrong.

Mark:

Let's line up the witnesses outside of the office.

Sarah:

So we've we find out that the office that Poirot goes into is not Farley's office. It's Cornworthy's office.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Now in the episode, we learn this because when Poirot goes to see Cornworthy, he goes into that office and says it looks just like Farley's office. Yeah. Like, they have identical offices, basically.

Mark:

Yeah. There's some weirdness in that they have offices and living quarters.

Sarah:

Yeah. But his office is basically in his home Yeah. Rather than being part of the factory. Though the home

Mark:

is attached to

Sarah:

it the factory. But it's in that separate space.

Mark:

Yes. In the Tescos.

Sarah:

I find it hard to believe that Farley would have give given Cornworthy an office that was as nice as his own.

Mark:

Yeah. I also have a problem with that. I think he'd give him a closet because that's who Farley is. But Poirot gets to say the line later on, which is the great line where he goes the reason why Farley didn't want me to see inside the other room is because Farley was in the other room.

Sarah:

Yeah. Like that. Because of what was in the other room.

Mark:

That's the great what? What? What? How could he

Sarah:

be in there?

Mark:

How could he be in there?

Sarah:

There's some workers from the factory who wanna meet with them because they wanna unionize. What do you have? And that all they're doing

Mark:

is Politics.

Sarah:

All they're doing is providing an alibi. Yeah. When when Poirot is, like, recreating everything and calling everything out, Hastings has a gun. Yeah.

Mark:

A loaded gun. Hastings is That Poirot gives him. It's action Hastings.

Sarah:

Why does Poirot have

Mark:

a gun? Not know why Poirot has a

Sarah:

gun. Does he get it?

Mark:

Do not know. Maybe he traded the new typewriter for a gun.

Sarah:

They're lucky Japs not there for it because Jap would not have approved of this whole recreation.

Mark:

Well, Japs there for the recreation.

Sarah:

Is he there for the gun shooting off?

Mark:

Yes. He

Sarah:

is. That's right. He is. Yeah. Yeah.

Mark:

I love how they're all looking one way, and then the gun goes off. And they all like, it's Keystone Cops. They all turn and look the other way.

Sarah:

Except for Cornworthy who jumps back like because he knows.

Mark:

He knows. This

Sarah:

is how people get shot.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

There's this part in the middle where Poirot cannot figure out what's going on, and he's frustrated. Right?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And he says that his little gray cells have been damaged by age and fast living. It is so good because Hastings is like, you fast living. Paro is like, in my youth, and Hastings is like, okay. Yeah. Like, he's completely doesn't buy it.

Mark:

This is a fantastic this part back in Poirot's place is a fantastic bit of writing because there are 3 things going on. Poirot is frustrated that he can't figure out what's going on. Hastings is laughing at him because he's saying that I had so much partying in my youth back when I was doing the raves. Yeah.

Sarah:

Okay. That was French Poirot.

Mark:

That was French Poirot. Who that was. So that's what Hastings is doing. And completely unrelated is missus miss Lemon arguing with the typewriter again, and then they all come together because they're looking for the time.

Sarah:

Uh-huh.

Mark:

And that gives Poirot the clue.

Sarah:

Because she has to look out the window.

Mark:

Now there are some shows that do this really clunky, but this is really well done here.

Sarah:

Yeah. Except when he kisses her.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Mike, it's a very thing to do. Like, I think he would have patted her on the shoulder awkwardly. Thank you so much. You're so brilliant. Yeah.

Sarah:

You know? She's like, okay.

Mark:

So Jap is a grown man.

Sarah:

Before you go on to that, Yeah. Can I ask you a question about that scene? Yeah. Miss Lemon doesn't have a watch, and she says she doesn't have a watch because of her magnetism Yes. That it makes watches go floofy.

Sarah:

Yes. Do you think that's a real thing?

Mark:

No. I don't think it's a real thing. Yes. I think people believe it. I may have dated 1 in the past.

Sarah:

My grandmother said that that she couldn't wear a watch because her personal magnetism messed them up. Yes. And they wouldn't keep time.

Mark:

It is not scientific. But

Sarah:

I looked it up because I wanted to know

Mark:

Yes. Am I gonna be proven wrong here?

Sarah:

And I still don't know.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Because I found very reputable sources saying this is not true. Yeah. This is a coincidence of people who buy cheap watches

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And think that it's something about them that causes the watches not to work or a flimsy excuse to not be responsible for knowing what time it is.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

But then I found other sources that said that early battery operated watches, not winding watches, the batteries were very unstable,

Mark:

and it didn't really matter who you were. But she would have had a beautiful wind up watch, probably Cartier or something.

Sarah:

She doesn't have money for that.

Mark:

No. But Poirot would have bought it for her because he buys her the wrong thing all the time.

Sarah:

But I couldn't find any definitive evidence one way or the other about whether it actually happened. But either way, I don't think it's personal magnetism that messes it up.

Mark:

I'm not gonna challenge somebody who says that to me. That's just a dick move. Yeah. Okay? But I don't believe you.

Mark:

I'm sorry. You think it's just a coincidence? Yes.

Sarah:

Okay. So Jap is is a grown man, you said.

Mark:

Jap is a grown man.

Sarah:

And why is that relevant?

Mark:

And he is a detective. Yes.

Sarah:

Really,

Mark:

I would say

Sarah:

he's one of the most important policemen in

Mark:

all of London, if not the UK. At this yeah.

Sarah:

Because he goes far afield to solve cases.

Mark:

Yep. Yes. Okay. Jap, gather everybody together for me. Do my bidding.

Sarah:

In the hall.

Mark:

But wait. I have a tour to take for this.

Sarah:

Yes. Somebody immediately show me how the pies are made.

Mark:

It's like your second sighting.

Sarah:

I need to know right now. Laura says, shall I enlighten you? And Jap goes, I wish you would. Like, what the hell is going on? So what happens in reality, right, is that Cornworthy pretends to be Farley, invites Poirot, tells him the story.

Mark:

Can't read the letter.

Sarah:

Right. It's him masquerading as Farley so that when Farley actually looks out the window to see if the ovens have started by looking at the steam that comes out the whistle, Cornworthy can shoot him from his own window in his own office and then put the gun in his hand and make it look like suicide.

Mark:

Right? Though there is a doctor here that would have would have given forensic evidence, like, there's no powder burns on his head.

Sarah:

Not all doctors would be familiar with powder burns.

Mark:

Maybe not.

Sarah:

But he didn't care enough to look closely because the asshole was dead.

Mark:

But it doesn't matter because he's an optometry specialist also because they ask how a person would see wearing his glasses, and they ask the doctor. Like, I'm a doctor, damn it. Not an optometrist.

Sarah:

So here's another awesome point that's different in the the novel, the short story versus the episode. Okay?

Mark:

Okay. And this is really important.

Sarah:

Read this. I didn't read this. It's pretty rare in the the TV versions that they change a key area of the plot. Yes. It's usually like we added a character in, like, Hastings.

Sarah:

2 characters that Made them into 1 or split them into 2 or whatever.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

However.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

In the short story, one of the things we're told about Farley's character is that he hates cats.

Mark:

Now this is the first reference to cats in the podcast. Really? No. No. In this podcast.

Sarah:

In this episode.

Mark:

And in this episode. Yes. Okay. Okay.

Sarah:

Farley hates cats.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

He's got a big nose, a gruff voice. He's a jerk, and he hates cats.

Mark:

This is

Sarah:

what you need to know.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

So the in the story, the way Cornworthy gets him to look out the window is not because he knows he's gonna go look for the whistle. Okay.

Mark:

Right? Not what the television show says.

Sarah:

He needs to lure him to the window. Okay. And the way he does it is from his own office window next door is he uses a pair of lazy tongs.

Mark:

Do you

Sarah:

know what those are? What are lazy tongs? Okay. You know, in in cartoons where, somebody uses, like, accordion kind of, lattice shaped expanding thing that has a fist on the end of it to punch somebody?

Mark:

Like a punch, like a boxing glove?

Sarah:

Yeah. It's got a boxing glove on the end of it, but it it has like crisscrossing x that expands to make it real long so it can reach somebody.

Mark:

That's called lazy tone?

Sarah:

You but you've seen that. Right?

Mark:

How on earth does this relate to him?

Sarah:

Wait a minute. Okay. He doesn't punch him with one of those.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

But you've seen that in, like, a cartoon. Right?

Mark:

Lazy. Put the gun on?

Sarah:

Let me explain.

Mark:

Okay. Sorry.

Sarah:

Instead of the punching glove, the boxing glove on the end, it's a pair of tongs Okay. So you can reach things.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Okay. And they call those lazy tongs.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Cornworthy just happens to have a set of those on his desk.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Why? I don't know.

Mark:

To reach the pies. No.

Sarah:

So he puts a stuffed black cat

Mark:

What?

Sarah:

In the tongs.

Mark:

Yeah. What? Okay. So keystone cops here.

Sarah:

Yeah. Cornworthy leans out his own office window

Mark:

his own office.

Sarah:

With a big old pair of lazy tongs long enough to reach Farley's window holding a stuffed animal.

Mark:

Yeah. The cat goes across the window.

Sarah:

Yes. He taps he taps Farley's window with the step down.

Mark:

On the window.

Sarah:

Farley hates cats. Check my window. Goes to the window. Throws him open. Where's that damn cat?

Sarah:

Bam. Cornworthy shoots him.

Mark:

How is he holding?

Sarah:

Well, he accidentally drops the stuff back.

Mark:

Shoes. I mean, the lazy

Sarah:

tongs. Lazy tongs.

Mark:

Yeah. How is he holding the lazy tongs and the gun at the same time?

Sarah:

Maybe you can do them one handed. Uh-huh. They're real lazy. I don't know.

Mark:

Oh, I'm thinking of, like, a poorly stuffed black cat.

Sarah:

Yeah. So he he drops the cat into the alley. Okay. But he doesn't worry about that because he thinks somebody will think a child just dropped their toy. Okay.

Sarah:

Because, you know, kids hang out in pie factories. Who knows? They may have they may have employed kids for all we know. And then shoots them, retracts the lazy tongs,

Mark:

puts

Sarah:

them puts them back on his desk.

Mark:

Because those things always make like a a threep.

Sarah:

Never mind the cat.

Mark:

So it's so it's You're doing you're doing hand gestures. There's some sound effects here. It's the window opens. No.

Sarah:

You you miss a dang cat. I hate cats.

Mark:

Kapow. Okay. So let's start this again. It's

Sarah:

that's the lazy tongs. And then Tap tap.

Mark:

Yep. Knock on the window.

Sarah:

Meow.

Mark:

And then

Sarah:

I hate cats. I'm coming for you.

Mark:

The window opening. Kapow. Then the cat gets dropped. Yeah.

Sarah:

Meow.

Mark:

And then the lazy tongue go whoop.

Sarah:

Back. Yeah. You only skipped Farley going in the middle. Thumb.

Mark:

Yeah. It Clive chose wisely to change that.

Sarah:

I think the change in the mechanism made a lot of sense. Yes. And in the short story, it's just like, well, everybody's got lazy tongs on their desk. Well, yeah. And they'd have to be, like, 10 feet long.

Mark:

He should be in the scene where Poirot goes to talk to him. In his office, he should be, like, waving this giant 20 foot lazy Tom.

Sarah:

He's sitting behind his desk. Poirot is sitting in the spotlight, and he says, give me the letter. And the lazy Tom just comes shooting out. Grab the letter from Paro's hands and take it back.

Mark:

Wrong letter.

Sarah:

Wrong letter. The lazy tongs come back. Wrong letter. Drop it.

Mark:

Grab the right letter. If

Sarah:

he didn't want him to see him up close, that would've worked really well. But that's what happens in the short story. That's how he does it. Wow. He lures him to the window with a

Mark:

stuffed cat. Agatha, that was not your best day.

Sarah:

They definitely did a better job here.

Mark:

Well, you know who does

Sarah:

In the short story, he still has the dream and everything.

Mark:

Well, you know who does a great job here is the boyfriend because he arrives right in time.

Sarah:

But before him, action Hastings does a great job.

Mark:

They roll down those stairs. Oh my gosh. And that is those actors. No. It's not.

Mark:

No. Okay. No.

Sarah:

Watch it again.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

They don't even look like them. I don't know. But I don't care. Those marble stairs look

Mark:

ouch. Yeah. The it's definitely difficult to roll down those stairs.

Sarah:

The giant bouncing vase Yeah. That goes, doink.

Mark:

So they have vases shatters. On the end of the the, banisters.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And I am completely with okay with that bouncing. I don't know if I've ever told you this story before. This is a one in a lifetime story I have. So I was in my office I was in the office when I was working in Indy, and I was changing the coffee in the coffee maker and I rinsed out the coffee carafe and it was a glass pot it was a glass pot with one of those plastic handles. Mhmm.

Mark:

And it was in my hand and it slipped out of my hand and it hit the floor and it bounced And it bounced up, and I caught it. And there was someone there who saw it. And she was like, I saw that. I saw that.

Sarah:

I'm your witness.

Mark:

I'm like, I can't believe I did that.

Sarah:

I can't believe it didn't shatter.

Mark:

Yeah. It it just hit in the right way, and it just bounced.

Sarah:

Well, probably on the on the edge of the bottom rim

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Like this vase does. Yeah. And it bounces, and then it shatters.

Mark:

Yeah. I was so lucky. Because if it had gone down again, it would have absolutely Yeah. Like, thousands of pieces of

Sarah:

stuff. Time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care if it's Pyrex or what.

Sarah:

It would have done

Mark:

like made a noise. It was like, boom. Yeah. So

Sarah:

Cornworthy gets out the door.

Mark:

Where does he think he's going? I don't know. Let's run around the slaughterhouse.

Sarah:

Like, you're gonna run for the rest of your life. I never understand why bad guys run.

Mark:

I don't I loved all the factory workers. They're like, what is that guy running with those boxing gloves on the end of those tongs?

Sarah:

Why does he have those tongs? You know, really, Herbert should have the tongs in his motorcycle. Yes. He could have them in the sidecar and when he chases Cornworthy instead of having to jump off and tackle him, he could have just grabbed him with the lazy tongs. What?

Sarah:

Yeah. They do have that great pile of Hollywood boxes for them to run into with the motorcycle. Yep. Those have to be there.

Mark:

But, again, so many extras, a motorcycle, stuntmen Yeah. Like, just so much money spent on these episodes.

Sarah:

Yeah. But Herbert really comes through. He's there, and Joanne says, get him. And he's like, oh, okay.

Mark:

I guess we weren't gonna elope, but this is fun too.

Sarah:

I'm glad he takes the time

Mark:

to put his goggles on. Joanne. Joanne tells the truth the entire episode. Mhmm. Does nothing but say have concern for her father.

Mark:

Well Slightly.

Sarah:

She's not really sorry that he's dead.

Mark:

He's sure. She makes out like a bandit because

Sarah:

She should. She's had to put up with him her whole life.

Mark:

His stepmother doesn't get anything because she was

Sarah:

in charge. She's awful.

Mark:

Yeah. So she gets the factory and everything, and I bet you the boyfriend's gonna get corn worthy's job now. So what her name's Louise, missus Farley? Yes.

Sarah:

What did she actually do to assist in the murder other than saying, yes. He did have that dream.

Mark:

I think that is it.

Sarah:

And I think that Like, maybe she helped Cornworthy come up with the story.

Mark:

And I think she probably was like, we're going to the theater now, and he's gonna be here and gave him some information.

Sarah:

Gotcha.

Mark:

Like, she was certainly well aware of the plot.

Sarah:

So yeah. So maybe she got Joanne out Joanna, sorry, out of the factory, out of the house. Yep. So this could happen. Yeah.

Sarah:

So she's definitely an accessory.

Mark:

At at the very least.

Sarah:

They did all of that to get her $250,000 of inheritance, which

Mark:

is a lot then, but I don't think it's enough.

Sarah:

It's $6,000,000 now.

Mark:

Yeah. Still, it's not enough. You foreigner. Woah. Racist on top of it.

Sarah:

She's nasty too.

Mark:

She is. Luckily, Jap's there to take them all into custody. What does that report look like after being ordered to the factory by mister Poirot?

Sarah:

Yeah. A letter was delivered to me by Lazy Tongue, and I went straight to the factory. Then we've got the scene with Pormice Lemon thinking that she's getting a new typewriter. How heavy can that clock be? Why is Cuaro acting like it's heavy?

Mark:

But he is he has the best passive aggressive line ever. No. No. I can manage the last five phases.

Sarah:

I love that she is in the living room, and then she sees Poirot get out of the cab and she runs to her desk to pretend she was typing. Yes. So that she can once again remind him this typewriter is awful.

Mark:

No more dangerous leaning. It's hard for me

Sarah:

to believe that there wouldn't have been a clock in her office already.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Poirot to me is a very punctual person and would have had a clock in every room.

Mark:

Yeah. There's a clock in every other scene in the show. It's it's like a weird clock thing.

Sarah:

Well, he's too understanding with his employees.

Mark:

Hastings is like, what? Am I employee? You didn't even listen to me in the last episode when I was like, they're guilty.

Sarah:

I don't think he pays Hastings.

Mark:

I don't think he pays Hastings either. Nah.

Sarah:

It's never mentioned in the stories that he pays him. There is a conversation one time when they're they go when, when Poirot gets sent to the health spa because he's too fat

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

There there is a a line of dialogue about, miss Lemon arranges for Poirot to go to the health spa and pays for Hastings to go with him. Yeah. And Poirot is like, why are we paying for him? And she's like, because he's going with you. Yeah.

Sarah:

Like, she makes the decision. Yeah. But, like, otherwise, you'd think he pays his own way and, you know, just like things is just doesn't have anything else to do.

Mark:

Can't believe he doesn't buy our new typewriter.

Sarah:

I don't buy that. Like, he's not that dense, and that's productivity. Yeah. That would be very important to him. Yeah.

Sarah:

I would more believe that he would buy her an inexpensive little clock and a typewriter. Yeah. And Or look. I found this typewriter on the street.

Mark:

Her constantly going bother Yeah. Will interrupt his thinking.

Sarah:

Well and his letters will look less professional because she will have jammed

Mark:

the ball. She has to say. Anyways, I'm back to trimming my mustache.

Sarah:

That is the dream. Yes. And I just shoot myself. Just

Mark:

shoot myself.

Sarah:

Meow. Meow. I'm gonna get a pair of those Lazy Tongs. Those would be so useful. You could you could pick up the

Mark:

Can you imagine? Drive through them or drive them. Like like, okay. They have the they have a script meeting. Right?

Mark:

So the director, the AD, the writer, and probably a producer have a script meeting, and they're like, we're not doing the lazy tongue thing.

Sarah:

And the cat.

Mark:

Right? Clive's like, no. No. No. No.

Mark:

I got a better idea.

Sarah:

We don't wanna make too many changes. The Christie estate won't let us make too many changes.

Mark:

Mutated fish. No, Clive. No mutated fish.

Sarah:

No doom watch, Clive. You know, my dream car is a black London cab. Yes. And in my fantasy, when I get older and I can do what I want, I'm gonna own 1. And when I go through drive thrus, I'm gonna be on the wrong side of the car, and I'm gonna need a pair of lazy tongs to get my food from Taco Bell with with my lazy tongs.

Mark:

Should be nice to to Clive. He's

Sarah:

passed. It's he did a great his version is better. Yes. The lazy Tom cat version

Mark:

is stupid. It improves on Agatha Christie. Does, and that's saying some And I'm glad she dropped it, and it doesn't show up again in, like, Murder on the Orient Express. Or

Sarah:

Perro's got lazy tongues in his pocket. You just never know when you're not gonna be able to reach the sugar cubes. You know?

Mark:

These eggs are not the right size. Send them back.

Sarah:

Yes. I do wish they had come in just as a little tribute to Christy, just as a little nod to say I know we changed it. He could have used them to grab the letter out of Poirot's hand. That would have been awesome.

Mark:

It would have been so funny.

Sarah:

He would have just shot out of the darkness towards him, grabbed the letter, and shot back.

Mark:

And the AD is like, another thing I have to fill? Yeah.

Sarah:

So that is the dream.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

We hope you enjoyed it.

Mark:

After the episode, everyone who doesn't go to jail makes out like a bandit.

Sarah:

Yeah. Pretty much.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

I think Joanna and Herbert take over the factory, run it better, and treat people better. Yeah. That's what I think happens.

Mark:

I think the guy with the stash from the fencing scene continues to teach her fencing.

Sarah:

Yep. And Holmes goes on to be in more midsummers. He takes off to become a vicar.

Mark:

So next up on mystery maniacs, we will be moving season 2 episode 1 of peril at End House. It's great. It's got lots of drugs. Yeah. And that music that the kids love.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And for all of you who have been pushing and voting and pestering us, we're gonna do Broken Wood after Poirot season 2.

Mark:

Yep. You guys are amazing. All the social media stuff is fantastic. We're almost at half a 1000000 downloads.

Sarah:

That's great.

Mark:

And that doesn't include YouTube where we're almost at half a 1000000 too.

Sarah:

That's awesome.

Mark:

I would say we're getting close to being able to say that we have 100 of thousands of downloads, which is insane.

Sarah:

It's fun. It's fun. Thanks for listening.

Mark:

Thank you so much for listening. We love you all. Yep. You are a fantastic audience. We have such fun doing this and I'm I'm like I went from wanting to discuss Tesco's to

Sarah:

Lazy Tong's. Lazy Tong's.

Mark:

It's gotta be the name. Lazy Tong's and Tesco's has to be the name of the episode because somebody's gonna go, what? What?

Sarah:

Alright. Until next time. Bye, maniacs.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs.

Sarah:

Do you do you do you need help?

Mark:

No. I'm okay.

Sarah:

Okay. You're definitely recording. Yeah. Is the backup recording going?

Mark:

The backup I see the backup recording.

Sarah:

Okay. You got

Mark:

your notes up. Recording. I stab my notes up. Okay. I'm good.

Sarah:

Like I said, I'm not taking anything for granted today.